Martians In Equestria

Chapter 8

Licking The Wounds

Following they're surprise defeat at Ponyville, the Martians had retreated back to the craft, much to the surprise of the Handling machine Martians who were expecting the Fighting machine Martians to have taken over the town. Also returning to camp, Abaztard and Torno had had a rather boring retreat back to camp, then again no enemy was looking at them but the three remaining Fighting machines.

With the death of Ajax and Tonker, this should've been a time for mourning, but the Martians instead were complaining how stupid the two (and their co-pilots) were for getting killed in the first place. In fact, there wasn't even the hint of sadness whenever they talked about them.

"What was that idiot thinking?" Abaztard complained to Skippy, the Handling Machine Captain, about Tonker. "Thinking he could destroy a Goddess like that?"

"Goddess?" Skippy gasped, his black eyes widening. "Oh hell, we can't kill a God, even if we are the most war bread race in the universe!"

A small crowd had joined them in the conversation and agreed with Skippy about the situation. "If the bitch is there, we have no chance then."

"Doesn't make sense though," Torno piped in. "We were told that there isn't any evidence of Gods and Goddesses out there, so how the hell is there one here?"

Abaztard just stared at his friend and shook his head.'Doesn't make any sense? He repeated. "What does make any sense? We're on a planet with talking ponies! Oh sure that's normal (!)"

Nearby, Banjee was smoking on a rolled up piece of red weed, trying to make sense of the whole thing. "I don't know about you guys…but I know one thing that is most likely to happen."

The other Martians looked over at the junkie Martian. "Like what?" Asked Torno.

Banjee had another quick smoke before continuing. "That King Abanazer is going to have Wacko's ass for the loss of the battle."

A murmur of agreement followed. Since getting back to HQ, Wacko had gone back inside the craft to tell the King of the current situation. Many Martians would die in fear to tell the King after the loss of a battle, but Wacko had balls made of steel and would do anything for his team, surely an inspiration for Martians everywhere, too bad Martians don't go looking for inspirations.

"It's his own fault that Wacko got us into this," said a hollow voice behind the Martians. Looking back, there was the second in command, Ucker (again, another strange Martian name.)

Ucker was a big beefy Martian but had a scrawny face like a rat. The King had personally ordered for him to be part of the first team to head to Earth…well, mix up with the Planets of course. Of all the Martians in this group that everyone else hated, he stood up the top by a clear mile. But the thing was, he had done fuck all anything that was second-in-command-related.

During when Wacko had led the first attack on Ponyville, Ucker had gone out barking orders to the handling machine Martians to get their work done quickly while he was lie back on top of the craft and try and catch some rays of sunshine. Secretly, all the Martians wished he'd gone out and lead the attack on Ponyville, only because they knew he would most likely be killed first.

Even Wacko hated the bastard with his life. Back on Mars the two had more than just countless arguments, and the less said about the whole situation between them then the better.

"And what the hell would you know about anything?" Abaztard snapped at Ucker, the other Martians backing him up on it.

Ucker just gave them a small smuggest grin. "As the captain, he should take the responsibilities of endangering his Fighting machine team."

"ENDANGERING!" Torno roared, "Four of us are fucking dead back there! And all you do is order the Handling machine team to do stuff!"

The other Martians roared with approval. But Ucker remained stoned face.

XXX

While this was going on, Wacko had been inside of the craft having a conversation with the King via hologram imaging. And since dropping the bombshell of the defeat, things…hadn't gone too well.

"WHAT'D YOU MEAN, DESTORYED?" Abanazer roared at Wacko, the hologram image flickering at his rage.

Wacko bit his green tongue trying to think how he was going to get out of this one. "I don't know how to explain it…she did by, well…magic."

"MAGIC?" Abanazer snapped, maybe the captain Martian flinch slightly. "How can a damn squad of Fighting Machines be stopped by a magical pony? That's the worse excuse I've ever heard!"

Wacko tried to say something, but for the King, it was the last straw. "Captain Wacko…" Abanazer said coldly, his eyes narrowing at him. "The fact that you have failed simply the second stage of the operation is completely disgraceful to Martian-kind."

The Captain didn't reply; he just kept looking into blank space as the King kept speaking. "Already five more crafts are on their way to this planet, and I bet that they'll be a hell of a lot better than your squad…and when I get here, I shall personally give out a severe punishment for you…"

And with that, the King's image flickered off, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the room. Though this was broken when Wacko smashed two of his tentacles against a wall. "The bastard!" He cried, grinding his teeth in rage. Now he really had to rally his comrades together despite what had happened.

And with a heavy sigh, he made his way out of the craft to meet with the rest.

As he climbed out, the other Martians all turned to look at him, half expecting him to be looking like hell after receiving harsh words from the king. But what surprised them the most was that despite him looking rather shell shocked, he also looked pretty angry at whatever had gone on.

"Wacko!" Cried out Abaztard as Wacko climbed down the makeshift stepladder to the ground. "You ok? What's happened?"

Other Martians began asking him the same thing, but Wacko didn't look at any of them and instead kept shuffling his way forward to a large rock nearby. He climbed up on top and scanned over at the Martians all around the site.

"Comrades!" Wacko called out at them, causing every Martian to be silent. "To start of with…yes, the King hates me." His fellow troops murmured at the thought of this. "But listen, I need us all here to get this show back on the road…gather round, we need to talk."

Though confused, they follow the captain's words nevertheless. Wacko motioned Ucker to come towards him by his side on top of the rock. As they all gathered round, they began talking loudly to each other surprisingly, mostly about how shit they were in that battle. Wacko just kept looking at his team, shaking his head in disapproval at them.

Just then, Denzil's Martian cell phone went off. As Denzil answered it, Wacko suddenly marched towards him and grabbed the phone from him answering it himself. "WILL YOU FUCK OFF?" He shouted and threw the phone at the craft with such force that it broke in two. Thanks to this, he now had everyone's attention and shuffled back to the rock again.

He settled himself down on top of the rock and began. "…Right then, that along with the bad stuff now out of the way let's try and focus on some of the positive stuff then shall we?" He looked down at rather dim-witted looking Martian near the front, which happen to be Wacko's co-pilot for the heat ray.

The Martian, named Bastardo, tried to think of something. "Umm…well on the positive side, that magic that Pony did was bloody brilliant."

Other Martians murmured in agreement, much to Wacko's shock.

"And I'll tell you one thing though," Ucker added. "If that pony can do anything to take any race on, I bet there's no justice…three cheers for the ponies! Hip-hip…"

"Hooray!" Cried the others.

"Hip-hip!"

"Hoora—"

"SHUT UP!" Wacko roared, his face now red with anger. "Why you cheering on the bloody ponies for? They're the enemy!"

"Alright keep your tentacles on sir," Said a Martians near the front.

"Keep my tentacles on?" Wacko asked in anger. "No wonder the king's calling me a twat. I've heard the wife has left me, All of Mars hates me, others are already landing without us doing are part in this, and all you lot can do is say 'three cheers for the ponies!' It's a miracle I have any tentacles left!"

"No need to take that attitude," Ucker replied calmly, smoking a Martian cigar.

Wacko turned to look at his second-in-command in anger. "I'm going out my mind here! And what do you do when we lose four brave Martians? Oh yeah, you sit there having a smoke not caring what's going on around us! I damn well hope no Martian here is taken advice from you!"

Ucker raised an eyebrow bemused. "If you have anything else to say, now's your chance to let it all out."

Wacko suddenly seemed very keen. "Okay then, well a matter fact I will say a few things 'cause see you, you're a small minded bigot who does fuck all!" By this point he was now standing over him, which now Ucker stood up too, matching his height.

"Anything else?" He asked, now growing more cross as the conversation.

"Yes I do in a matter of fact! You could've gone out there with a squad to help out collect our fallen comrades out there, but you don't bloody well care! You're an absolute waste of space!"

Now Ucker looked completely pissed off at Wacko's comments about him. "And any last things to say?"

"Well yes I do have one thing to say," Wacko replied, still full of complete anger. "Remember sometime ago back on Mars when you bought me a Scout machine that you got at a bargain price? Well with ten breakdowns in the last year, it's an absolute fuckin' disgrace!"

Ucker remained stoned face as a brief moment of silence followed. "…Alright then…"

Then all of a sudden, he punched Wacko in the face, causing him to fall off the rock and many Martians to gasp and head over to help their captain. Ucker however simply walked off back to the craft.

Later on, Ucker was sacked from his position as second-in-command, leaving Wacko with a co-captain, and a beak broken in two places. Things just couldn't get worse for them.