My life with death.

Chapter Three: A dance back home.

A dance. At this point, that’s what my life has become. A journey across this mystical land. Step by step, slowly but surely. With practiced, subtle but overwhelming, moves. It was just a simple routine of walking. But through the years that I’ve traveled, it has become a well performed waltz. Gently moving from place to place. Ponies in awe of seeing my talent, watching me restore the peace they once knew with my gentle moves.

It’s partly for efficiency, for being able to move from one place to another (quickly I might add), helps my job tremendously. But mostly?  Mostly it’s one of the only joyous things about my life that I can truly enjoy. It’s what I live for. The space between meeting one sad face, to leaving a hopefully happy one behind. The spaces where I, in a sense, just get to dance and be myself as I travel across the mystic land.

“What’cha writing?” I let out a gasp, and jump up slightly when I hear the inquisitive voice of Roxy right over my shoulder.

“Gah! Roxy! We’ve talked about this, do not sneak up on me. When did you even get into my room? How did you even get into my room?” I ask as I look at the closed door that has been in front of me the entire time I was writing. She puts her hoof to her mouth, trying to stifle a snicker.

And fails. “Oh come on, Revvy! I came in last night when you had your…” she raises her hoof and rubs at the back of her neck in mutual awkwardness. “Ah, break down. And I just crashed over there on the floor.” She points over to the other side of my bed. “Anyways, stop dodging my question. What are you writing?” I draw a quick breath in, and blush softly.

“It’s nothing, really.” I say as I close my journal. I try to give a convincing voice. I pick the book up in my magic, and hold it behind myself. “Believe me, you wouldn’t want to read what’s in it anyways.”

She gives me a frown, and looks down as she struggles with the book now in her hooves. “Stupid thing won’t even open anyways.”

“Hey! Give that back. You know, for an earth pony, you sure pull of some weird tricks.” She gives a shrug as I take my journal back from her. “And you can’t open it because I put a lock spell on it. Only I can open it.” I stick my tongue out at her, and she pouts at me.

“Really Revvy? I thought we were better friends than that. I thought you could trust me.” She feigns sadness and even adds in a small sniffle to her performance. I sigh and close my eyes.

“No. Roxy, it’s… personal. I’m. . . “ I let out a long sigh. “I’m writing a book. Ok? It’s my story. My life. . Everything.”   I look down at the ground, and idly move my hoof in a circle. Expecting her to laugh. To tell me how stupid that idea is. But I only sit in silence.

I look back up to see her sitting there with an astonished look on her face, mouth slightly parted open. As if for the first time she didn’t know what to say. “Oh. Revvy. You would actually publish your story? I mean, really. You’ve been through some tough shit. I don’t even know half of the things you do because of your stupid rule about not letting me go to your clients with you. Would you really want others to read that?” I shake my head.

“No. It’s only a dream. Really.” I say, and wave my hoof dismissively.

“Only a dream?! If that’s your dream, that means you should publish it someday. ” Roxy says with a bright smile on her face, trying to cheer me up.

“No. Roxy. . See. . . They wouldn’t be dreams if they came true. I want this to only be a dream. . . Only a dream.” I add as a whisper at the end, looking back at the journal.

“Oh. I guess that makes sense. Kind of.” She says and as she stands there, contemplating what next to do, her stomach gives a growl that could rival an Ursa Minor for sheer volume. She gives a sheepish grin. “So… You wanna go down and eat breakfast? I’m hungry, and we really should leave this place soon. Didn’t you say your next client was far from here?” She says, regaining her chirpy little smile.

“Food does sound good. And I have to cheek the book again.” She keeps smiling as I walk over to my saddle bag. With my magic, I open it and glance inside. I place my journal back into it, next to the other two. The big brown one that has many useful spells, the memory spell being one of them. And, the other book is a smaller one. The cover is bound in a black, satin material.

“You know. You always mention your client book. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use it. Despite all the years we've traveled together.” Roxy mentions dismissively as I open it up.

“Really?” I say as I give a shrug, opening it up. She nods and glances at it over my shoulder.

“Why’s it blank?” I laugh slightly and charge up my horn.

“It’s another magic enchantment thing. This one wasn’t my choice though. The book. . It has some sort of connection with the other plane of existence. It has many names. Some call it Tartarus. Which is wrong, that’s the plane of damnation. Some call it Purgatory, which I guess is close. I prefer calling it what it is. The plane of the departed.” I look to Roxy. She’s taken to laying on the ground while listening to my small lesson.

“What I have to do is channel some of my magic into the pages. Soon, they will fill with words. Of course most the pages will stay blank, but the first few pages will tell me about my next client. Where they live, and the troubles they are having with whatever spirit. Be it from your normal  lingering spirit, to a more dreadful haunting. The worst case scenario is a possession of course. But in those cases the book itself will glow, and alert me instantly.” I continue speaking, a small smile on my face. I’m surprised I’ve never told Roxy about this.

“That’s cool.” She says. She scoots a little closer. “So. Can you read past client info?”

I give a small nod. And she watches as words start forming on the front pages. Information about my next client. “If I want to bring it up, the book will let me, yes. And. . You know, this book has a weird way of working. It prioritizes clients over others sometimes. Though, I can never pick up on a pattern. I remember reading a clients info once, a haunting. A tormented spirit picking on a little foal. But then the book shifted to a lingering spirit.” I glance and see Roxy looking slightly confused. “That means that the client it shifted to was more important.” She gives a small nod.

“And.  . . . See look, it’s doing it again.” The words that had already formed on the page start shifting. Slowly making out a new client, and his or her information. Once the words have settled, I stare blankly at the page. “Oh no.”

“What?” I hear Roxy ask. She says more, but her words started fading. My entire focus on the client listed.

“Listen. Revenant. You wouldn’t understand. I did what I had to do. There. . . There was no way around it. I’m sorry, truly I am. But, I had to do what I did.” He speaks slowly and calmly as I just glare at him.

“I wouldn’t understand! Then why involve me? You could have just as easily done this yourself. So why me? Why does it have to be me?!” He moves forward slightly, holding out his hoof. Only for me to smack it away. He backs up, and frowns at me.

“Revenant. Dear. Please listen. It could only be you. It was my mistake. It was my fault.  It was all my mess, but it can only be you who-“

I cut him off quickly, yelling at him. “These are your messes! And I’m just cleaning them up!? Is that all I am to you!? You just needed me for your mistakes? You just needed a little obedient maid?”

“No. Revenant. It’s not like that at all. I told you that you wouldn’t understand. But if you listen to me, I can try to explain it. To make everything better-”

I cut him off again “No! You listen to me, and I’ll explain this. Don’t make my life worse, just because it will make your life better. You got yourself into this mess, so you can clean it up yourself.”

“Revenant!” I feel a sting on my cheek as I am brought out of my memory.

“Oh. . Sorry.” I say and place my hoof to my cheek, as I shake my head slightly. “I was remembering the fight because. . “ I look down at the page in the book, turning it around so Roxy can read it easily.

“Ignis. . . Your father is the client?” I give a slow nod.

“Yes. The client is Ignis. A stallion, unicorn pony.” I turn the book back to me, and slowly list off the information on the page metallically like a machine. “He lives at the edge of small town named Hollow Shades. Within the Hollow Shades forest. He has recently plagued with visions  of his deceased wife Oblivion. He has since shut himself away from the rest of the world, locking himself in his study. The only place he feels safe from the apparition. This is more than likely a haunting, and should be dealt with swiftly.” I pelt the book against the wall with my magic once I finish reading. My rage is unbridled at this offense.

“How dare you!” I shout at it. “My mother would never haunt my father! And anything that happens to him, he deserves it. I won’t help him, so give me the other client.” I charge up my horn and hold up the book, opening it, and waiting to see the pages change.

They don’t. “Woah. Calm down Revvy. I know you and your father got off on the wrong hoof when you left. But the book says that something has been severely tormenting him. And you’ve said so yourself, ‘It’s my job to help those, living or dead, find peace within this world. So one day they all can hopefully move on.’ “

“I know what I said!” I snap at Roxy. “But it was never my choice to take on this job! I know that, and he knows that!” I say, pointing to the book. “My father knows exactly why I have this job. He knows why this curse was thrown into my bucking hooves!” I collapse onto the ground, holding my head as I start to cry. “He’s the… bucking reason why.” I sniff out.

“Revvy. . . I don’t know why you do what you do. I’ve never asked why you do what you do, and I know if I did you would never tell me. But this only seems to be tormenting you more and more. Sure, your father may deserve what’s happening. But you don’t! So, you need to get off your sorry flank, and we need to go get on the next train to Hollow Shades. The next train home.”

I look up at her, a smile on my tear streaked face. She’s always cared so much for me. Ever since we started this journey. I could never thank her enough and. . I hear a loud growl, coming from her stomach. “The next train home, after breakfast that is.” I sit up, and start laughing, and Roxy laughs as well.

“You and your appetite. It’s a wonder you’re not fat!” I laugh and poke her stomach. She gives me a mock angry look.

“You’re one to talk! You eat more then me!” she laughs back, swatting my hoof away.

“Yeah. But I’m a unicorn. My magic burns off any extra fat. That’s why unicorns are always so sexy looking.” I taunt back to her, turning to the side slightly to strike a sexy pose.

“You sure? You are looking kinda pudgy.” She says and pokes my stomach, causing me to laugh.

“Shut it. And let’s go eat.”

Later.

“Guh. You know, I wish I knew that places food was so nasty!” I hear Roxy complain behind me, and I laugh slightly.

“I just think your standards are still to high! We’ve been traveling for a few years now, and you still complain at every place we eat at.” I hear her let out a grumble.

“Mm, whatever. I just don’t see what’s wrong. Why can’t anypony make good food! I mean, seriously, would it kill them if they tried or something?” I snicker to myself as she continues complaining.

“No. But it seems to be killing you that they don’t.” I say back to her as I pick up my pace slowly.

“Ha! See. You didn’t like the food either.” I roll my eyes and just keep walking. “So. Are we really going to head back?” I hear Roxy ask slowly. Unsure if she should really bring that topic back up.

“Yes. We’re going back home. I wish we both could be going back on better term. I wish it could just be a lovely visit, but it isn’t. It’s purely business. We are going to go in there, take care of his problem, and get out. No pleasantries. Just…” I let out a long sigh. “Just business like always.”

I let out another sigh, and then smile. Hopefully I can easily change the subject. “Hey, Roxy?” I look back and I see Roxy idly looking at the ground. She perks up though, and gives me a sad half smile. “How’s your first song going on? For your first gig. And speaking of that, when was it again?” She instantly perks up, rushing to walk right next to me. Now we were in a subject that she enjoyed.

“Oh Celestia, it’s been going well. I’ve got most of the actual music written out. Lyrics on the other hoof ain’t going to well. I’ve got barely a stanza written out. And the gig, well I need to contact my agent. You remember him, right? The goof in Manehatten, Gilded Record?” I give a small nod. “He’s got the exact time and date stuff worked out, but it should be next week sometime in Canterlot.”

We step into the train station and I quickly buy us tickets to Hollow Shades. “So, can I hear it? The lyrics that you’ve got worked out?” She blankly stares at me for a moment before laughing hard.

“Oh. Revvy, that’s funny. You know I can’t sing!” I give her one of the tickets I bought as she keeps laughing.

“Right. But, you’ve sung before, and you were pretty good!” She keeps laughing.

“Yeah. But I can’t sing lead. Sure I can do back up vocals, but never lead.” She laughs, and pretends to wipe away a tear from laughing so hard. I stick my tongue out at her.

“I guess that’s the point of the other band members. You only do drums right?” She gives a nod. “So, who’s your singer?”

“Gilded said that he had that worked out. He had some very reliable unicorn friends that could play guitar. I listened to them and they are good. As for the singer. I think that’s still in the works.” I give her a slight glare. She has that look on her face. The look that she’s trying to hide something.

“Mmhm. Sounds good.” I say keeping my glare on her as the train pulls into the station. The doors open, and we wait for some ponies to get off. Soon we enter the train and find a nice pair of empty seats to sit across from each other.

“Oh! Revvy, here.” She hands me a small piece of paper. “There’s the lyrics. If you wanted to read them.” I smile and take it in my magic aura. I unfold the paper, and read out the words.

“Roxy. This is pretty good.” She nods, looking at me expectantly. “What? What’s with that look?”

“Oh come on, Revvy. Sing it. You’ve done it before. In middle school and some of high school before we left. You’d read my lyrics and sing them out. It always helped. And come on, it would be like the good old times!” I let out a sigh, and roll my eyes.

I look around the train, and our car is empty save for the two of us. “Fine. Like the good old times.” I read the lyrics over again. “there’s only a few actual music notes scribbled on here.” She nods.

“I know. That’s why I want to hear you sing it. It always helps me fill in the notes that aren’t there.” I sigh again.

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” She shakes her head, keeping that stupid goofy grin on her face,

I read over the lyrics a couple more times in my head. I look at the small music notes scribbled down, and take a deep breath, and close my eyes.

“Saying goes that when you're stuck on a mountain.” I sing out, open my eyes to peek at the lyrics again.

“You try to go up, you try to go down, you turn around. To face a wall so you can face yourself. Realizing you've made a mistake.” I finish off. And open my eyes fully. Roxy smiling even wider than before.

“It’s perfect. Thanks Revvy!” She says and leans over to wrap her hooves around me in a small hug.

“Yeah yeah. No problem. What’s the song called?” She gives a shrug and frowns slightly.

“I dunno. I always name the song last.” She shrugs again and looks out the window of the train.

I move my gaze that way as well. “How long has it been?” I keep my view out the window, watching the landscape quickly shift into a green blur as the train speeds up.

“It will be exactly two years tomorrow. . . “ Roxy says, her voice trailing off. I look back towards her to met her gaze. “Yeah. Tomorrow will be exactly two years since we left Sophomore year. Think the book planned that out?” She chuckles gently, and turns back towards the window wistfully.

“Knowing the stupid thing, probably.” I laugh, and bring my gaze to look out the window. The blurring green landscape, and the blue sky, orange tinted from the setting sun. “Do you remember the promise we made when we both left? The promise we made to each other?”

“We promised to walk, and never look back. We promised to hold each other when times got hard, we promised to laugh and smile together when times were good. And, most of all, we promised to stay strong, and never lose faith in each other. To never turn tail to run back home.” She speaks slowly, and firmly.

“Yeah. We promised a lot to each other. And never once have we broken that. But now. . I feel hateful that we have to go back home. I know it’s not breaking that promise, there are just a million different reasons why. Number one being my father. Number two the book blames my mother.” I glare slightly out the window, still looking up towards the slowly darkening sky.

“I hate every bit of it as well. I would rather go back to that first week we spent away from home, then now when we are heading back.” I nod in agreement as I watch the first twinkle of a star appears in the sky,

“That first week. Those where horrible times. Remember the wish we made on that star?” I look to Roxy, smiling gently. “I do. I will always remember that wish.” Roxy turns to me, a gentle smile adorned her face as well.

“We wished for a miracle.” I give a slow nod, and look into the sky, and watch as more and more stars appear in the growing darkness.

“We were broke. We had no bits to buy food. So we were hungry, starved. We were battered from walking through the woods, no bits to buy a ticket for the train. So we layed next to each other as that cold night approached. Trying to stay warm. And we looked into the sky, and saw the first star appear and made our wish. A miracle, one that would make time go back, and everything alright.”

“But the miracle we wanted was not the miracle we got.” Roxy laughs slightly. “There are four things that I will never forget. You, and the promise we made to each other. That wish we made. . And the kindness the princess showed us that night.” I sniff lightly, thinking back to that night still.

It was true. We were starved, and tired from walking through the dense woods that surrounded our home town. An entire week we spent walking, as much as we could during the day, and sleeping at night. Finally we reached the edge of the wood, just as night was coming upon us again. We looked up at the star, and made our wish.

I had closed my eyes, but soon felt the tingling warmth of someponies’ magic aura spreading over me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Princess Luna herself. She found us, and brought us to the palace. Let us sleep in her room, let us join the morning feast with other nobles. She even offered us a place to stay until we could get back on our hooves.

“I will never be able to forget her kindness either. That was the truest, and purest sense of kindness anypony could show to another. And she showed it to two noponys that would have probably died in a few days time. It really goes to show you how amazing the princess is.”

I curl up slightly in the seat, letting out a yawn as I glance into the now night sky. “I’m going to rest up. You should too.” I say to Roxy and she nods, curling herself up as well. Letting out her own yawn as she gently closes her eyes.

I let my eyes shut, as I think about everything. After a minute of laying there in sleeplessness I open my eyes and go to my journal, and start writing.

Two years. I’ve spent Two years on this journey with my friend. Two years spent practicing my efficient waltz across this land. I figured eventually I would wind up back at the place I started. But, I never thought it would be so soon. But that’s how a dance works. You always wind up on the original step eventually. So that’s what this is. Just another practiced step. And soon there will be another. But for now, this is a dance back home.