Pinkie Pie was once again in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, humming her Smile song as she popped in another order of cupcakes straight into the oven. Today was a special day for a special party for a special filly. Today was Dinky Doo's birthday, daughter of Ditzy Doo, everyone's favorite derpy mailmare.

Ditzy Doo had come to her specifically for Dinky Doo's party, knowing personally that Pinkie Pie and her parties could make any pony smile. She also knew that more ponies would come to the party due to it being a Pinkie Party, which would be great for Dinky. While she loved her daughter very much, she couldn't help but feel somewhat suffocated by her Dinky's constant affection that never seemed to end. Hopefully by getting some friends to spend time with, she wished Dinky would get a little less dependent on her attention.

None of this was of Pinkie's concern however, as she took out the freshly baked cupcakes. Her only concern was making everypony's birthdays special, as she did best, by following her own rulebook on how to make every party memorable. The rulebook to this point contained 721 rules to follow for an amazing party, and she could completely remember every single one in a heartbeat, which she did so in that moment.

"Wait!! How could i forget Rule No. 34!! If this is a ponies' first Pinkie Party EVER, they have to receive a coupon for one free cake of any flavor they want! Vanilla, strawberry.... even," Pinkie Pie gasped. "CHOCOLATE!!" She quickly ran around the kitchen, searching for her coupon paper, rummaging through cabinets, until finally finding it in her fluffy mane, along with her pet alligator, Gummy.

"There it is! That's right! I started keeping the coupon paper in there after that time when we had Scootaloo's first party and I forgot the coupon at home and I realized I forgot it and I cried and Scootaloo and Dashie asked me what was wrong and I told them about the coupon and Scootaloo was like "stop crying, it's ok Pinkie." And I was like "No, it's not Ok, I forgot your coupon at home and now I'm sad which is making you guys sad and it's not Ok for you to be sad because it's your birthday and your party and you're already sad enough as it is because you can't fly" and something made her cry, probably me telling her I was sad, but then Dashie hugged her and got kinda angry at me and took Scoots to her house for a little while..."

As she continued to ramble on with her story, Gummy slowly made his way out of the kitchen like a normal alligator would, leaving the pink mare talking to herself. 23 minutes later, the overjoyous pink pony finally concluded her story to herself by herself "... And that's how me and my friends collected the 7 Chaos Emeralds and defeated Dr. Eggman...Gummy? where'd you go?" Pinkie Pie asked the now desolate room. Pinkie searched for her toothless alligator for a record-breaking 37 seconds, before simply shrugging and moving on.

"Oh well, back to party-prep!" Pinkie chimed, reaching for her list of things that Ditzy Doo had asked for specifically at the party on Dinky's behalf. Pinkie Pie saw the usual stuff on the unassuming list; things like Musical chairs, water balloons, satanic sacrificial chambers, the norm. However, she didn't know what the hell to make of the item at the bottom of list.

bubbles

Pinkie Pie returned from the store with two bags full of the new item mentioned on the list. Relatively easy to find and rather cheap, Pinkie had returned from the store in 5 minutes flat. Pinkie then sat to examine the mysterious thing.

After 3 seconds of a CSI Miami like examination, Pinkie concluded she was completely confused with the subtance inside the bottle. It just looked like soapy water, and didn't seem to do anything. She thought about drinking it to see if it actually tasted like bubblegum, but the label said not to drink whatever it was. It also came with a small stick with a circle at one end, but she quickly became bored with it, tossing it to the ground in confused anger.

She was getting frustrated quickly. She had no idea what this, "bubbles", could do if it weren't used for giant bath tub parties. If so, she wish they would've had some at the giant bath tub party Twilight had invited her to a couple weeks ago in her new castle. TWILIGHT. invited HER. to a PARTY. Since when did Twilight throw parties? She had thought. But who cares? It was a party to strengthen their friendship since she didn't have as much time anymore with them because of her royal duties Twilight had said, but Pinkie didn't care, she just wanted to party with her friends, and that's exactly what happened. They. Partied. HARD.

flashback

The next morning Pinkie awoke among her friends minus one in Twilight's new Celestia size bed. There was a very strong, strange aroma in the air she recognized but couldn't quite place, and she felt a strange stinging sensation between her hind legs. She silently sat up among her sleeping friends, watching Rainbow Dash snore while Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy breathed in and out slowly and peacefully. She was used to waking up early for getting the dough and tools prepared at Sugarcube Corner, and so was Applejack, who already had her favorite hat on and was walking in a strange fashion towards the door. She wondered what could make the sturdy, robust farm pony walk like that.

"Applejack?" Pinkie called out in a tired, almost questioning tone. At the sound of her name being called, Applejack froze like an animal who pissed off Fluttershy on her "special time." Applejack then turned to look at Pinkie with a somewhat frightened look, but it quickly dissolved into a small smile at the sight of a groggy, confused pink friend.

"Oh, good mornin', Pinkie. I got up a bit early, n' thought I'd go ahead an' get on ma' way to tha' farm. Leavin' now, I might even get a lil' ahead a schedule. You girls looked like ya were havin' sweet dreams, so i didn't try and get ya'll girls up at this ungodly hour," explained AJ, looking at a clock that she hadn't noticed before. Pinkie was still waking up, but was fairly sure it read 4:50 something.

"Oh," Pinkie replied. The normally energetic party pony simply sat for a moment, waiting to get a little more woken up before attempting any major movement. AJ however, didn't want to wait. She began her walk to the door again, before again being trot-blocked by a bubblegum pony.

"Applejack?" Pinkie said again, in the same tone as before.

"Yeah, sugarcube?" replied AJ, in an annoyed tone at being held up.

"Why are you walking so funny, Applejack? I didn't think a pony like you that bucked for a living could have leg problems." Pinkie added.

Applejack nearly froze at hearing the last sentence. Instead of freezing up though, she simply walked backwards while facing the now more awake and aware Pinkie with a terrible liar's grin.

"Well, uh, Pinkie, I better go. I'll see ya'll later." she said as she reached the doorframe.

"Wait! Applejack, why are you..." She tried to finish her last sentence, but was interrupted by the sound of fading hoofsteps outside the door heading away from the room.

Pinkie finally snapped out of her flashback, and turned to look at the clock on the wall. It read 12:34.

"12:34! That only leaves 14160 seconds to figure out what the hay this is...this...this...," Pinkie struggled to find the right word. "This BULLSHIT!" She finally exclaimed before picking up the bottle and preparing to throw it at the wall with her full rage, but just before the toss, she noticed something else on the bottle. She thought she was just seeing things, but lowered the bottle and looked again, only for her whole face to turn to shock.

"INSTRUCTIONS TO USE BUBBLES EFFECTIVELY?! WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS 5 SECONDS AGO!!" She exclaimed in a scream of rage that would make a Dovahkin proud.

Of course, a voice like that couldn't be contained in a single building. All ponies in a 1-mile radius of Sugarcube Corner stopped dead in their tracks, absolutely petrified in terror. Slowly, most foals began to cry, further worsening the situations. All the potential costumers trying to satisfy their sweet tooth at Sugarcube Corner were running to the door, the only escape in the main/public area of the store. Yes, Equestria takes fire prevention VERY seriously.

Meanwhile in Hell's Kitchen, the baker continued her outrage that would've made Gordon Ramsay proud. Never before had a bottle of bubbles received such a brutal verbal assault. Every insult from "stupid" to "slutty, 5 cent crackhead cocksucker" was focused on the bottle that began the tirade.

After 10 minutes of unleashing pent up anger, she bagan to calm down and think as logically as a pink, mystical, fourth-wall breaking, part-time serious killer that took her killing very serially could. She looked at the bottle's instructions and read them out loud to herself for absolutely no reason except to be an egotistical bitch who loves the sound of her own voice. And because it's a part of the story and she has to read it out loud. But mostly because she's a bitch.

"Step 1: Open bubble container containg bubble-making liquid and 1 bubble-blowing wand, you big bubble-blowing baby." Pinkie stopped and reread the same instructions again, minus the last part. Pinkie just took a deep breath, breathed out, then continued reading.

"Step 2: take out wand containing some liquid bubbles inside ring. Simply Press B to blow into the ring to create bubbles." Pinkie once again reread the instructions but was less alarmed when she expectantly didn't find the phrase. Pinkie just sighed.

"Step 3: Enjoy your bubble wonderland, you rock farming hobo."

The following explosion could be seen from 6 million light years by a strange planet of bipedal creatures called humans, which they called a "supernova."

Yes, that's how pissed off Pinkie got at being called a rock farming hobo.Yes, Pinkie broke the speed of light, the explosion she caused traveling 6 million times faster than light's normal speed in a year, the equation being 5.8786 multiplied by 10 to the 12th power= about 5.8 billion miles, the more you know. Do the math, meaning multiply 5.8 billion by 6 million, and you'll have the speed of the explosion in miles per second. Just fucking amazing. Anyone wanna do the math for that? My phone's calc. doesn't go that far, and I'm too lazy for any other options. Post it below in the comments, and get a prize. Seriously. Maybe. Not likely.

The end.

...

...What? THE END. Do you not understand what that means? I'm finished. I, the author, say this story is over. Everything in whatever galaxy they lived in is dead and gone.

Then again, doesn't Twilight mention something about Orion in an episode? Wouldn't that mean that their world would have to be in the Milky Way Galaxy at least, if not the same exact planet to see the stars in the same position to make Orion? Or is it a pony constellation that looks completely different and coincedentally has the same name? Allow the creation of theories to begin.

Sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, the story. Don't worry, I already have a sequel planned with zombies and everything. Wait, that wouldn't make sense because... FUCK! GODDAMNIT! THIS WAS GONNA BE A FUCKING GREAT STORY WITH PONIES, ZOMBIES, ALIENS, AND EVEN LAZORS! LAZORS, GODDAMNIT!

*Sigh* Well fuck. I guess that idea is dead. What now? FINE. I'll go back to the original storyline, jesus, give me a second. I gotta find my BIG ERASER for BIG MISTAKES. Seriously, who came up with the idea for this giant ass eraser anyway? *sigh* Whatever...

"Step 3: Enjoy your bubble wonderland, you rock farming hobo."

Pinkie was angry, confused, then unfased. Angry at the bottle for obvious reasons, confused trying to understand how the hell the bottle knew her childhood, then unfazed when she realized it was just her imagination.

She grabbed the wand and stuck it into the liquid. She took it out then peered through the thin sliver of water seemingly and literally trapped inside the circle. She took a deep breath, put her mouth near her target and blew.

In front of her eyes a large sphere took form, floating in mid-air. It was strangely beautiful for something so easy to create. It just seemed to drift aimlessly, as if biding its time awaiting a fellow aquatic sphere to be created to join its ongoing journey across the now silent kitchen. All those thoughts and beautiful words that the author had spent 15 minutes thinking of became utterly worthless when Pinkie Pie got curious and touched the bubble.

A resounding pop was met with the touch, whether that pop being the literal popping noise created or the author's brain commiting suicide from the sheer frustration being caused by the pink pony's refusal to just follow the script. Pinkie just sat on the floor.She felt... awful. When she popped the bubble, she felt something different than expected.

She heard the noises, the screams of billions of beings being crushed under her hoof. She felt awful, but was puzzled as well. What the hell did she just do? Did every pony hear those screams when they popped bubbles, and did they derive some sick pleasure from it? Or was it just her universal Pinkie sense, tuning her into these portals locations?

Considering she derived the same sick pleasure from cutting ponies open with her chainsaw, it would seem like it wouldn't be a "sick" pleasure, but it was. This was different than just killing one pony; this was destroying a whole UNIVERSE.

With that, she crossed that theory out nearly immediately. Derpy as a universe crushing lunatic that strived for the screams of billions under her power? C'mon, it's DERPY. She was as cute and adorable as... herself.

Pinkie had to sit and think for a moment. Derpy, a killer. With that adorable, seemingly innocent attitude she could get away with anything... just like her. Not only that, but she also didn't SEEM to have a "darker side" that everyone was aware of. If something happened and someone saw her with straight hair, she'd be instantly suspected. Derpy never had to worry about that. The only time they'd ever seen her angry was when her daughter was being bullied, and she had a little "chat" with the bullies. Two ambulances later with three broken bodies left a statement.

"Well, Ditzania Telza Do, I'm onto you, you little bitch." Pinkamena Diane Pie said, revealing her true colors. Her normally puffy hair suddenly laid flat, her eyes seemed to turn a darker shade of blue than normal, and a smile that can only be described as maniacal stretched across her face. She looked back at the bottle of bubbles in her hand, and changed the subject quite abruptly.

"I'll deal with you later, however. I've got more important matters to attend to." With that, she transformed once again to her unassuming Pinkie form, but kept the maniacal smile. She dipped the small wand into the container, pulled it out, and blew a stream of warm air into it. Like before, she was met with the sight of the formation of a bubble. She looked into the sphere with deep thought.

"I wonder..." She trailed off, when suddenly her tail twitched, her hooves shook, her eyes fluttered, her tail twitched again, then finally ended as her eyes fluttered again as well.

"What the fuck?" Pinkie had never gotten that combo before, and never a combo with that many movements. The most she ever normally got were 3 movements. Along with the combo came a strange tingly feeling in her whole body. It felt like she was getting zapped by the most useless taser ever. It left her body quickly, and a new thought replaced her brain. It wasn't very loud, but she didn't need to strain to hear it.

enter the portal

Pinkie didn't know what to do, what to feel, or what to think. Her pinkie sense never let her down before, but this was different than before. The pinkie sense had warned her about falling objects and important events before, but this... if this did what she thought it would, this could be catastrophic on completely new levels.

enter the portal

The voice called again, same as before.

"Fine." Pinkie gave in, and jumped into the bubble to the universe waiting on the other side.

Author's Note

Special thanks to Silverlinings and Pegasi Bob for editing.
Feel free to post ideas for universes and constructive criticism below.
Like in most of my comedies, down below in the comments name all the references to earn a cookie!
Possible clopfic based on the giant bath tub party and furthering that side story(?)
Thanks for reading! :)
BTW: I know, I couldn't indent for... reasons.