It was a terrible day for Equestria... The day that Pony-kind lost their freedom... The day the Changelings won the war... All hope was lost...

That was only six years ago... 'What is happening today?' One may ask, and all I can tell them is that it is a living hell! The Changelings have turned ponies into slaves of every kind! The sex-slaves are probably the least fortunate. Sitting around, tied up, getting rutted all day! It must be horrible for those mares! Some, when young, are forced to clean and take care of the Changeling's young.

The stallions were the lucky bastards, though we didn't look at it that way. We are forced to work in fields, in factories, and even had to serve those filthy love-sappers!

The princesses were forced to continue the rotation of the sun and moon, but are kept in cages and are treated like animals! They aren't fed well and only have enough energy to use there magic on the celestial bodies. After they finish they're job, they can't even move for the next twelve hours! And then they just repeat the on going torture!

There is literally no hope for any of us... except for me and my men! I am the captain of a rebellion that's been fighting for the past four years! We have been helping ponies of Equestria and have been trying to take our land back!

The Changelings forces haven't been getting weaker though. The damned things reproduce so fast that every time you kill one, there is a group of eggs somewhere hatching into new soldiers.

We need somepony that can take down tons of enemies quickly! We need somepony who is a trained killer! We need somepony who is crazy enough to charge right into the battle with only a... sword!? No a... Knife? NO! They need to be so crazy that they would use a... a... a SHOVEL!!! YES! They HAVE to be THAT crazy! We need a MERCENARY!!!!!

But the only problem is... there is no existing pony on this planet like that... but there is another world out there that has tons of said mercenaries, and we need a way to get one to help us. And I'm not gonna rest until we find the most dangerous one there is alive!

My name is Shining Armor, and I swear to Princess Celestia that I! WILL! NOT! FAIL! HER!!!

Shining Armor was in his tent which was in the middle of the camp. He sat at a large table that had many old books, maps, and scrolls on it, which were all written in a dead language invented when the Royal Sisters were only newborns. He looked around at the unicorns before him. "Alright, so do you all know your part of the spell?" He asked.

They all said: "Yes sir!"

"Alright then." He looked down at a book in front of him. He flipped it open to a page near the middle that was blank, he then levitated all the books, maps, and scrolls and piled them up onto the page. He then put both of his hooves on the page and looked at his soldiers. "We've spent months gathering everything we need, do NOT fail me, soldiers!" He said to which all the unicorns said their "Yes sir"s back. Shining looked down at the book and closed his eyes. His horn lit up and he and the book were surrounded by magic. The rest of the unicorns focused their magic as well causing Shining to begin to burst with different colors of magic.

The papers on top of the book all began to sink into it and fill not only the pages the book was open too, but all the other pages as well. They all continued this spell until every last scrap had soaked into the book. After the spell had been completed, Shining looked down at the book with joyful eyes, he quickly flipped to the first page and saw that the old unreadable symbols had turned into perfect Equestrian! He began to read and study the words and maps that filled the pages. He read on and on for hours until he reached the last page. He set the book down and looked at his soldiers.

"It appears that this 'Earth' is full of what we need. Sadly, lots of them are also easily killed or busy doing something else... we're gonna have to find one that is neither." He turned around and looked at a mirror that had once taken his little sister to the world he needed to get too. Seeing it made him reach up to his face and feel a large scar he had received from a changeling guard when him and his soldiers were trying to retrieve the mirror. He walked toward it and looked to his right to see a unicorn with a green mane and a blue coat, who was trained in breaking curses and spells, walk up next to him. His name was Gateway.

Shining Armor nodded letting Gateway know that he was now aloud to break the spell that only allows ponies to go in and out of it every thirty moons. Gateway said. "Remember, this WILL cause side-effects." He then closed his eyes and focused his magic on the mirror. He blasted a beam of magic at it causing a layer of golden magic to appear and give away. Gateway opened his eyes and slowly walked back to the table. It was clear that he used most of his energy on that spell.

Shining looked at the mirror and took a deep breath. "For Equestria..." He then jumped into the mirror.

Shining Armor came threw another mirror into a new world. He looked around to see that it was getting late and most of the humans living in the small town had already gone home. Shining looked down expecting to see a new body, but instead saw his normal pony body. He got confused but then remembered Gateway's warning. 'There Will be side effects.' Shining replayed the words in his head. "Looks like I'm doing this the hard way, I just hope nopo-... nobody stares."

After three weeks of searching, Shining Armor had found out about a team of hired killers that could help him. Sadly, most of them had families, jobs, or just disappeared. There were two left that needed a job, the Demo-man and the Soldier. Shining Armor had no idea where the Soldier was so he decided to talk to the Demo. Shining was standing outside of Demo's house. It was rather small and poor looking for a mercenary, but then again... he was fired...

Shining Armor had knocked about two minutes ago. He heard from inside the house was an older female yelling at what he assumed was the Demo, Due to his male tone of voice. He had a strange accent to Shining. All of the mercenaries he had met so far seemed to have a different one. The Engineer's was familiar, but the rest were not.

After a lot of yelling about 'Getting the door.' and 'Jobs', the door swung inward to reveal a dark skinned man with an eye-patch. He looked around until he heard Shining Armor's voice. "Ahem!"

Demo looked down at Shining. He then looked at a bottle of what Shining assumed was alcoholic, due to Demo reeking of it. "Ah think Ah've had me'self enough scumpy tah'day." Demo-man said, clearly drunk.

"Uhhh... hello, yes. Well, I have been looking for some-" Shining Armor began to say before.

"HAHAHA!!! What does a little pon-eh like yerr'self need me for?" Demo asked.

"There is a war in my country and we-" Shining began again.

"Ah'm bus-eh, little pon-eh! Take yer magic stuff an' go both-ah Soldier." Demo said. "He be out in the forest next tah Lumberyard. Poor guy can't ev'an find his house!" Demo said.

"Sir, you've clearly had to much to drink! Just sit down and-"

"No you listen, laddy!" Demo yelled. "None of me other imaginary fr'ends talk down tah me!"

"Imagine? I'm real!" Shining yelled back.

"Go both-ah Soldier! Yee one-horned horse!"

"I'm a uni-" Shining was cutoff by the door being slammed in his face. Shining face-hooved. "It looks like I got to find out where this ''Lumberyard' is..."

Soldier was sitting in front of a fire. He had his hands up near it to stay warm. To his right, about five feet away, was a pickup truck loaded up with tons of crates, these crates held all of his hats, badges, and the weapons Soldier used during his old job. Dear lord, did he miss his job. Blowing up robots all day never got old. That is all he would ever do, actually. Engineer, Heavy, and Demo-man protected the hatch from the bomb. Spy, Pyro, and Soldier himself mostly ran to the front-lines and killed as many robots as they could. Scout would help fight too, but he usually focused on picking up the money the robots dropped. Medic also didn't fight much, he mostly healed his teammates. Sniper would snipe of course from up high.

'Must suck for you!' Soldier heard Scouts voice in his head. 'We get to have ALLLLL the fun down here! While you juz' shoot from up on your perch!' Soldier remembered how the very next day, Sniper stayed on the ground and used his SMG and his huge knifes to dispose of over seventy-five robots and one tank! 'Yeah... well... I could'a done dat!' Scout yelled at Sniper who was too busy laughing while he rolled around in the money he collected.

Soldier smiled. "That was a good day." He said in his usual loud and gruff voice. He looked up at the night sky. "Hello, God." He said. "I have been a good little mercenary this year, but I got fired, and I forgot where I lived. I need a new job and house. So if you would so kindly-" He heard a bush to his left rustle. Soldier reached a hand to his back and pulled out his Reserve Shooter. He shot the bush once causing a dead coyote to fall out of it. "SEE YOU IN HELL, MAGGOT!!!!!" Soldier then reloaded his Reserve Shooter and put it back on his back. He looked back up at the sky and countinue. "-And that's what I want for Jesus-mas this year, amen."

Soldier finished his prayer and looked at his watch. "Twenty-three hundred hours (11:00 p.m.) already? Time to rest my body for the following day!" Soldier then laid down on the ground and fell asleep like a man.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Soldier laughed as he watched the American Army assault a Nazi base. "And Hitler though he was going to win!?" He burst out into more laughter.

An American Soldier approached Soldier and handed him a large mug of beer. "We've WON General Doe!"

Soldier took the mug and put one foot up on a potato bag and put his other arm at his side. "Big cup of my foot up Hitlers ass!" He then took a swig out of the mug. As he did this an American Flag rose out of the ground and stood high and mighty while the American Soldiers celebrated below. They all stopped to salute the flag and began to recite 'The Pledge of Allegiance.'

A manly tear rolled down Soldiers face. But then all of a sudden the flag blew up. "For Allah!" Yelled a terrorist as he too blew up a large group of American Soldiers.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" Yelled Soldier as he ran toward his men. He was then stopped by a large fence that rose out of the ground, a man looked at him from the other side.

"I'm sorry, no illegal immigrants!" He said to Soldier.

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" He screamed as he fell to his knees. Around him, Mexicans climbed the fence and ran into America. "NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Soldier yelled at the sky. God looked down at Soldier and bluntly said. "Fuck you, Jane Doe."

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! THE PAIN!!!!!" Soldier pulled out his normal shotgun and pointed it at his head. the barrel began to move like a mouth and said to him.

"Hello? Sir, are you alright? HELLO!?" Soldier pulled the trigger.

Soldier woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. "Oh sweet Celestia! Are you okay, sir!?" Yelled a male voice from behind him. Soldier pulled out his Reserve Shooter again and span around.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed as he stuck the patriotic shotgun into a.... unicorn's mouth?

"Lease er, ah ish wah yer elp!" He said past the shotgun in his mouth.

Soldier raised an eyebrow under his helmet. He took the shotgun out of the unicorn's mouth but kept it pointed him. "What was that, Sally!?"

The unicorn rubbed its jaw with its hoof and repeated itself. "I said, 'Please sir, I just want your help.' And my name's not Sally! It's Shining Armor."

"Yes, I see that you are wearing armor that shines." Soldier said.

"No! My name is-" Shining tried to tell Soldier who just decided not to listen.

"Alright then, Sally, what do you need?" Soldier asked.

Shining Armor let out a long sigh as he face-hooved. "Oh ha ha! Very funny!" He yelled. "This isn't the time for jokes! And you can quit acting like you really think my name is Sally!"

Soldier cocked his head. "Acting?" Soldier looked around. "I don't see a famous actor anywhere." Soldier said.

Shining was about to say something when he realized it. "You... actually think my name is Sally?" He asked? "You seriously think that?"

Soldier sat there for what felt like minutes before he said. "Alright then, Sally! I'll see you around!" Soldier put his Reserve Shooter on his back and walked over to his pickup truck and open the diver's seat door.

Shining Armor had been sitting in shock for a while before he shook his head. He turned around to see Soldier crawl into his pickup truck and start the engine. "W-wait!" He yelled as he ran up to the pickup truck. Soldier looked out the window and down at him. "Sally, Sissy, call me whatever you want too! But, please help me!" He yelled.

"What do you want?" Soldier asked as he pulled a half smoked cigar out of his jacket pocket and lit it. He took a long drag on it and blew the smoke out the window.

Shining Armor looked up at the mercenary and asked. "Would you like your old job as a mercenary back?"

Soldier got a surprised look before he smiled and yelled. "Which maggot should I gun down first!?"

Shining smiled with a mix of relieve and happiness. "We'll get to that later. But first... what's your name? Me and my men found out all sorts of bizarre things about you, and that was the only thing we couldn't find."

Soldier looked down at the unicorn and yelled. "I am not going to tell just anybody my name! You must earn my trust! Until then, you call me Soldier!"

Shining had already covered his ears. "Alright, alright! You didn't need to yell!"

Soldier chuckled as he took another puff from his cigar. "So, Sally. Where will I be liberating?" Soldier asked Shining Armor.

Shining uncovered his ears and tried to look more formal. "In the magical land of Equestria."

"... O-kay!" Soldier yelled.

'Great! He doesn't even care! I was so tired of explaining everything to each of these mercenaries!' Shining thought to himself. "Alright then." Shining walked around to the other side of the pickup truck. Shining looked at the car door for a moment before he asked. "Could you open the door for me?"

"Discipline!" Soldier yelled out the window.

"Alright, alright!" Shining used his magic to play with the door for a while until he found out how to open it up. He crawled inside and shut the door. "Now then," He pulled out a map. "I need you to go here. " Shining pointed at the map.

Soldier looked at it. "Why there, Sally?" Soldier asked.

"Because, it's the only way home."

"*Gasp* HOME!!!!!!!!" Soldier yelled. He slammed his foot down on the gas pedal and took off for the far away city.

Soldier and Shining were in the pickup truck, in front of them stood the statue that had the mirrors at the bottom. Shining was thinking of a way to get Soldier's truck through the mirror portal when suddenly, he had it. "I'll be right back, get ready to drive through, and please drive slowly! You've torn up this walkway to that school enough already." He glanced down at the ground. It used to look real nice, but now it was covered in tire tracks.

"You've got it, Sally!" Soldier said. He climbed back into his truck and waited.

Shining Armor turned around and began walking towards the portal. He stepped through it.

Shining Armor popped out of the portal into Equestria. He took in a deep breath of the fresh non-polluted air. "Captain Armor! You're back!" Yelled a mare. Another stallion yelled with joy as everypony else in the room ran up.

"What was it like?"

"Did you become a human?"

"What're hands?"

Shining pushed everypony away and began to speak. "All questions will be answered! But right now I need this mirror outside!" The pony soldiers said their "Yes, sir"s. A unicorn used his magic to levitate the mirror as he walked out the tent flap that was being held open for him.

"Where do you want it?" Asked the unicorn.

"Facing an open area!" Shining commanded. The unicorn nodded and placed it down facing the middle of camp as other pony soldiers cleared the other ponies. Shining was walking up to the mirror from behind to go back through and give Soldier the okay. But just as he was coming up next to it, Soldier's truck came squeezing through. Bits and pieces of the statue came through with him. The mirror snapped in half and broke just as Soldier finished coming through.

Shining Armor coughed on the dust in the air for a little while before he looked up at the truck with anger filled eyes. He approached it while Soldier came out slightly laugh. Soldier took a puff of the cigar he had in his mouth and looked down at Shining Armor. "Hello, Sally! I got bored and decided to see what was taking so long!" He said with a huge grin on his face.

"YOU IDIOT!!!!!!" Shining screamed. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEPONY!!!!!!!!!"

"But I didn't! Learn to use your luck wisely, Sally!"

Shining Armor face-hooved. "You... are really lucky, Soldier!" He turned back to his confused and slightly scared pony soldiers. "I need this place cleaned up, and I also need our mercenary's things unloaded into the tent we have set aside for him!" They all said their "Yes, sir"s and got too work.

Soldier looked around at the vast amount of ponies who looked like they had been through some tough times. They all looked at him with either joy, confusion, or fear. He looked around at them, trying to think of some first word that they will remember him by when suddenly. "These are some weird weapons ya got here." Said a stallion from behind him. He turned around and saw that the three ponies that were unloading his crates had begun to look at the items inside.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HOOVES OFF MY THINGS, MAGGOTS!!!!!" He screamed at them. They looked at him and ran away full of fear. "I'll just take these to my tent by myself!" He picked up his weapons and hats and put them back into their crates. He then began to carry them to his tent when Shining Armor walked up to him from the group.

"You know, that tent we're letting you stay in is the biggest and comfiest one we have, you should respect the mares and stallions you're going to be fighting with or you could end up in one of the tents that the animals sleep in." He threatened.

"Shut your trap, Sally!" Soldier yelled as he walked into his new tent and set the crates down. "I can't believe you maggots have been living in these tents for, what was it? FOUR YEARS!?" He asked.

"Yes," Shining looked around the tent. It was a comfy looking place to live, there was a cot to the far side of the huge tent, there was also a book-shelve to the left of the tent where a table with multiple chairs sat. Finally to make it even better, there was a food storage locker that had all sorts of vegetables and rations. On the right side was not really anything, there was a chest to keep things in but Soldier asked for it to be removed so that he could let his crates 'live' there. "What's wrong with them?"

"What if the enemy attacks!?" Soldier yelled. "They could bomb you and your tents wouldn't stand a chance!"

"I-I... bomb?" Shining asked confused.

"EXACTLY!!! You need a fortress! And all of your team needs to stay in it! You could call it... Fortress of Teams!"

"Orrrrrrr, it could be called Team Fortress." Shining said.

"No way in history of mankind would someone anywhere call ANYTHING Team Fortress!" Soldier yelled.

Every reader stares with confusion.

"Uh... anyways... Like I was saying, show some respect to these ponies. They've been through a lot. and one day they might even save your life..." Shining then turned around and left then tent.

Soldier stared at where Shining had left. He thought about what the unicorn said. "Save my life? I don't need any of Sally's weak soldiers to save me! I've got the power of America to keep me alive!" Soldier the took what was left out of his cigar out of his mouth and dropped it on the ground. He then stepped on it to put it out.

Author's Note

Hey guys and girls. New story, and look! Soldier! I hope I'm capturing his personalty. Tell me if you see in problems with this chapter, and don't expect a chapter everyday. Sometimes It's a long time before I update my stories.

Leave a like and favorite if you enjoyed this so far. See you guys later.

Soldier: Why don't you make a video? Are you really going to force these maggots to read!?
Yeah, I do!
Soldier: My god! You sick communist bastard!
Hey! I'm American too!

Oh that's right! I just wanna say that I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I was just trying to capture Soldier's personality.
Soldier: And you've done me proud, boy!