The Future Sucks

Ponyville. Former city of Friendship. Former home of Princess Twilight Sparkle, First Lady Rarity and Propaganda Minister Pie and of course me. Been a long time since I left this place. Ever since the Tiara Corporation ran me out of my home fifteen cycles ago and sent me on the road. I’ve learnt how to fight since then, and now I’m back to fight those who practise injustice. Flim and Flam. Emperor Blueblood. Lady Silver Spoon. And particularly Diamond Tiara. Word is the bullying psycho had it planned from the beginning, though how could a little filly be that manipulative ‘less she was the spawn if Tirek himself. More likely she just picked up on events as they came.

All I know is, long time ago now, she and Silver had been picking on three little fillies including the youngest child of the Apple family. Of course her older sister found out and as the Element of Honesty her morals were very strict. All contact with Tiaras family was severed and the Apples had to turn to their old rivals the Flim Flam brothers for help. Of course that didn’t last long and soon the elderly matriarch was dead, just collapsed during a heated argument and the children were essentially run off their farm. The elder two went to work as guard for Princess Twilight while the younger disappeared without a trace. Meanwhile Sweet Apple Acres under new management had re-entered into business with Diamond Tiara and her family which proved to be more successful than previous endeavours thanks to the cider production line as well as other inventions eventually turning into the corporate giant FlimTech. This development was met with excitement by some, fear by others particularly the princesses. So Diamond leaned heavily on her links to the newspaper to slander the ruling government accusing them of dictatorship, autocracy and other bad stuff. Riots broke out and eventually blossomed into revolution. Under popular demand Celestia and Luna left for their respective orbital bodies, Twilight supposedly became a hermit and no-one believed Cadance the Crystal Princess would bring her subjects into a depressing war and thus settled for a non-aggression pact. A republic was declared and Blueblood, slayer of the great draconequus Discord was named Lord Protector and any supporters of the princesses were hunted down.

Oh and one more thing. Around the same time this was happening, the Wonderbolts, sports-team-slash-paramilitary-force, led a coup in Cloudsdale and seceded from Equestria, forsaking their duties as weather guardians, which is the reason for these constant dark skies and chill wind. It’s not just so I can have a cool backdrop to gaze at the city. My city. Lower Canterlot, formerly known as Ponyville.

Ok now I’ve done my broody superhero monologue, better not waste any more time. I’ll have to find a hideout. Nice shallow cave perhaps. Then I’ll go downtown and start making a rukus, hopefully make a name for myself and let all those crooks in charge know that Mare-Do-Well is out for blood.