Just Another Mare in Ponyville

Lightning Dust slowly walked on the outskirts of the town. She moved as slowly as possible, as she was afraid of what was going to happen next. What would happen when she reached the town? The last time she had spoken with the pony she was going to meet hadn't been on the best of terms, but she needed to see her. Needed to make amends. Maybe once she did all the bad in her life could be left behind and she could begin again.

She was slowly walking into Ponyville, the town in which Rainbow Dash resided. She needed to find her, the mare with the rainbow mane and brilliant magenta eyes. She needed to talk to her, make sure that she could fully put everything behind her.

Ever since she had been kicked out of the Wonderbolts Academy things had started to go... terribly to say the least. Her family was so disappointed in her that she couldn't bring herself to face them. She knew they had to hate her. Getting kicked out of the Wonderbolts was a great shame, especially since they expected so much from her.

After her discharge she tried to find jobs in several places, but was always denied, or ruined it eventually. She went to Cloudsdale to find work, and was fired from the weather factory for being "too competitive". It wasn't her fault she wanted to be the best at making weather. She just wanted to be the best at everything she did. But, for some reason, she was never able to do that. To be the best at everything she tried always ended up destroying what she was doing, or at least destroying it for her.

And so she went through several different kinds of jobs ranging from being a dentist to being something as low as a clown. Every time she messed it up. Sometimes she simply wasn't accepted to the job, and sometimes her competitive spirit ruined it.

The whole time everything had been rough to say the least.

Add on to that the crippling depression she felt from her discharge and everything was simply... terrible. Her dreams had literally been crushed by her only hero. The only pony she looked up too. The one thing she was good at the only thing she lived for, flying, she couldn't do professionally. All she had wanted in life was to be a Wonderbolt. She probably wanted it more than Rainbow Dash. And now she would never be able to do it.

She had used to be the best at flying outclassed by a small number, Rainbow Dash being one of them. She used to live for the thrill, the rush she felt when flying in a race. She loved imagining her dreams every night before bed. Seeing herself in that Wonderbolt uniform, making her family proud, the best flier in the land, and eventually she was so close.

And then just like that it was all taken away. Because of her own selfishness. Her own ego. Her ego, which was now gone due to the depression.

It's funny the way things work out. Her ego, the one thing that ruined everything, was also lost due to itself. If being kicked out of the Wonderbolts wasn't enough to simply ruin her ego, the hatred from her parents and not being able to be the best at the jobs she tried ripped it apart completely, especially when she was fired. Nopony ever let her down easy, and nopony would ever give her a break.

Nopony cared about her enough to do that.

Her life was awful, and that was all she could think about. Over and over again all she heard in her head was thoughts about how terrible things had been. The recent months flashing through her head; from the day she met Dash, when everything was great. She made a new friend who was like her, and they could both be Wonderbolts. They could be amazing together. Then came the day where it all crashed down, and everything spiraled into oblivion.

She kept replaying the memories in her mind, over and over again, as if doing so would change the outcome. As if it would fix her wretched life.

But no matter how hard she thought, how hard she wished, it never changed. She would sometimes have dreams of the events playing differently, of her and Rainbow Dash becoming Wonderbolts together, of her making five new friends. And then she would wake up and everything was awful again.

And then, if something good ever happened to her (which it rarely did) and a smile formed on her face, the depression would come back. It would come back and kick her down onto the floor. It would remind her of how terrible she was, how she ruined everything for herself. It reminded her that her existence was pointless. She would think about how insignificant she was, and how insignificant she would always be.

And the more she thought about it all the more she hated herself. The more she wished she could just accept defeat, and die. Or maybe return to her parents and beg for their love. Wrap up her ego for good and give up everything. Beg for forgiveness, or die trying. Her life was terrible. She was living, breathing proof that not everything worked out with friendship and happiness. Not everypony got their dreams.

But now she needed to confront Rainbow Dash. Why? Did she blame her for it all?

No. No it wasn't that she blamed her, At least she didn't think so. She knew for a fact that she blamed herself.

She just needed to talk to her. She thought maybe fully talking about it and getting past everything would start a new streak of luck. Maybe it would finally put all the bad behind her. Maybe Rainbow Dash would even help her get her life back on track. Maybe one day she could rejoin the academy and finally be a Wonderbolt.

Maybe somepony would finally care about her again. Maybe her parents would love her again. Maybe she would love herself again.

But for now?

For now she was just another mare. Just another mare slowly walking into Ponyville, a mare whose dreams were crushed, like so many other mares. Another mare that didn't matter to anypony, not even herself.