Just Another Mare in Ponyville

Lightning Dust cautiously walked through Ponyville, afraid of what may happen when she reached the house of clouds. She wasn't positive that was where Rainbow Dash would be, but it was her best bet on looking. It seemed like the most likely place that a pegasus would reside.

It was still rather early in the morning, and she hoped Rainbow Dash would still be there, or that it would be her house in the first place. She needed to talk to her. She was growing desperate to do it.

She made her way to the house, and stood beneath the entrance. She looked up, and saw the beautiful house of clouds. A place she knew she would never live in, a place she didn't deserve to live in. She didn't deserve to live at all.

She took a deep breath and flew up to the entrance, flying as slowly as possible.

She slowly walked up to the door, and stood there afraid to move. She went to raise her hoof but stopped herself.

Should she knock? If she did there was no turning back, and whatever happened next had to happen.

What if Rainbow Dash hated her? What if she attacked her, made fun of her, rubbed her failure in her face?

No. That wouldn't happen. Would it?

She wanted to knock. Wanted to call out, to get Rainbow Dashes attention. But she was afraid too. What if Rainbow Dash did hate her?

She knew she probably didn't, they hadn't left on extremely bad terms, but she still had that bad thought in the back of her head. The bad thought that she was hated.

That one bad thought that seemed to be all she could think about. It seemed to be all her depression could latch on to. Slowly pulling it forward, like a bulldozer pushing through any of the good thoughts in her mind in order to remind her that everypony hated her, that she should just lie down and die.

And so she stood, afraid to raise a hoof. She had swallowed her ego, it had been destroyed a long time ago. Now she was prepared to ask for help.

All she needed to do was just ignore her depression and knock. Reach out her hoof and touch the door.

It was sort of symbolic in a way. If she extended her hoof to that door it was like she was extending her hoof for help. The more she thought about it the more she knew she needed to do it.

Buck up as someponies might say.

That's what Spitfire would say to her. But Spitfire didn't care about her. Spitfire hated her. Spitfire kicked her out of the academy. She never explicitly stated it, but Lightning Dust thought it was implied. At least that's all she thought of the disgusted look Spitfire had given her. She thought her hero hated her.

She slowly moved back from the door, afraid to knock. The thoughts of Spitfire made her imagine how worthless she was, made her think about how much she didn't deserve help. All she deserved was death.

She stopped moving back, and simply laid down on the ground, her wings covering her face.

The memory of getting kicked out of the academy had come to the forefront of her mind. Standing in Spitfire's office, being told she was a failure.

"I'm sorry." She had whispered to Spitifire. "P-please don't k-kick me out... I- I promise I'll do better. I-I'll be less reckless! I'll do anything you want! Please! I-"

"I don't want your excuses recruit. My decision is final." Spitfire said cooly, cutting her off.

"Please all I want in life is to be a Wonderbolt." Lightning Dust said softly. "P-please it was one mistake. Please I swear I'll never do anything like it again!" Lightning Dust was on her knees begging.

Spitfire looked down at her with disgust, and a small amount of sadness.

"I'm sorry kid. You're out."

Lightning Dust snapped back out of her thought, and was in tears on the ground, wings covering her face.

Everything had been downhill from there. She next found herself trapped within the memory of her family's reaction.

She didn't remember it as vividly as she remembered Spitfire, but she remembered it was bad.

She sent them a letter, telling them what happened. She knew her grandfather would be upset, but it wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't like they would hate her or anything right?

Wrong.

The message she got back was even worse than what had happened with Spitfire, to the point where she had practically repressed it.

Something about how she was a disappointment, how they could never love her again, and that her grandfather hated her. That her grandfather would always hate her.

They didn't want her anymore. They would never want her. All she had wanted in that moment was to be wanted. To be accepted. The Wonderbolts didn't accept her, didn't want her, and neither did her own family.

Nopony wanted her or accepted her.

And that was all she wanted now. To be wanted. She wanted to be accepted. It didn't matter by who, all she wanted was to be accepted by somepony. Anypony.

She slowly stood back up, her knees shaking, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

All she needed to do to be accepted was knock on that door. Exactly what she wanted, what she needed, was behind that door. The one pony who might just possibly care about her was so close, yet so far. To extend her hoof and knock was all she needed to do.

She slowly walked up to the door, fighting back her tears. She marched straight up to the door and stood there for a moment.

This was it. She was about to get the one thing she needed.

She extended her hoof, and knocked on the door. And then she stood there for several moments.

No answer.

She started to become very crestfallen.

But then suddenly Rainbow Dash opened it.

Rainbow Dash looked at her with surprise, the pony at the door was not one that she had expected.

"L-Lightning Dust?" She said at the sad looking mare in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

Lightning Dust slowly lifted her head up, and looked at her for a moment. The tears began to well in her eyes. She fell to the ground in tears and held Rainbow Dash around the hooves.

Dash looked down at her in confusion. Lightning Dust looked up and stared her in the eyes, her vision partially obstructed by tears. She only managed to mutter one sentence.

"I just want somepony to love me again."