It carried on for so long. The changelings called it the "Royal Struggle" whilst the rest of Equestria called it "The Strange Battle". Soldier called it "Just Another Tuesday". Whatever anypony called it, it was certainly a battle to remember.

Meanwhile in the RED base...

"Alright, everybody, on the count of 3! 1... 2... 3" Spy shouts and then everybody sings the My Little Pony theme song, and when they finished, they teleported! The trip was crazy... Everybody was sick at least once. Eventually they got there... Right in the place where a Changeling just exploded!
"What the hell!?" Exclaims Scout, confused at what the hell is going on.
"Maggots? You're all here!? Have you all come to help me murder all these mangelengs?" Asks Soldier, then Heavy replies with;
"YES! EVERYBODY KILL EVERYTHING!" Heavy screams.
"Just kill the dark back insect creatures with blue eyes! Those are the mangelengs. The small horses are our allies, maggots!" Soldier informs the group and then they get to work, mowing down every changeling in their sight. But then...
"Stop killing us all! I promise we'll stop..." Chrysalis comes from the sky.
"And who are you, maggot!? And why are you different to the others!?" Soldier shouts at Chrysalis, his shovel ready.
"I am Queen Chrysalis, the queen of the changelings! And I beg of you to stop." Chrysalis tells Soldier. Soldier whips out his shovel and bangs her on the head with it. Then Big Mac comes out of nowhere and says;
"Nnope." Then goes off to fight some more changelings with Bulk Biceps.
"We have beaten the mengeleng leader, maggots! Now we hunt down the rest and kill them all! Neheheheheheheh." Soldier says to the group and they all go on fighting.

Meanwhile in RED base...

INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT BLU SPY IS IN THE BASE!
Nobody seems to come for them.
"I don't think anybody is here. You can all come out." BLU spy tells his teammates and they come out from cover.

Meanwhile with Soldier...

"I need some help, maggots!" Soldier shouts to his teammates and Bulk Biceps comes over and beats the crap out of half of the changelings.
"YEAH!" Bulk Biceps screams into the last changeling, who explodes from how loud that YEAH was.
"Good job, Sally. Now get back to your targets!" He shouts at Bulk Biceps.

6 hours later...

Gentlemaggots, we have won over the mengelengs and get to live too see the light of day! Now how do I get home? My bread is missing me." Soldier assesses his choices until Scout says;
"Sing the My Little Pony theme song backwards." They all sing it backwards and get back to RED base to find that there's nothing there. Not even their computers or chairs or anything. Just the building.
"Dear god..." Soldier says.
"IT IS TIME TO KILL BLU! TO WAR!" Heavy shouts.
"Wait... Where are the others?" Scout asks.
"Demoman's drunk in a bar, pyro is busy in wonderland, engineer is building stuff, sniper is holidaying in Australia and I think that's it." Spy answers, and then they all run towards BLU base, it's time to have another war. Then Soldier screams while bashing his shovel on his head;
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Author's Note

Thanks for sticking with me on this journey.

Ok, story review time.

This story was originally going to be a quick project that I thought of while drunk, but decided to make it full-scale.
Originally it was going to be Heavy in Equestria but what the hell Soldier is more popular.
I was going to have loads of bread jokes but one is enough.

And that's it.

Goodbye!