Soldier Gets In A Pony War

In RED base...

"Scout... So, to get to this Equestria we need to be teleported by one of the Alicorn princesses?" Spy asks Scout, who is getting irritated at all the questions.
"YES! God, are you stupid!?" Scout responds, getting more and more irritated.
"And hov vill ve get zem to take us zere?" Medic asks, looking around for any trace of Soldier.
"Er... I... Don't... Know..." Scout answers.

Meanwhile on an Equestrian battle field...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE NO GUNS IN EQUESTRIA!?" Soldier screams at Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadence if you will.
"There's no such thing on this whole planet." She responds.
"Luckily I brought my rocket launcher, Sally!" Soldier reaches for his rocket launcher and finds it, gets it off his back and onto his shoulder.
"YOU SEE THIS, MAGGOT!? This is our ticket to victory!" Soldier shouts at Cadence.
"Okay, okay! I'll leave you to war, seems like it's your thing..." Cadence says and is then pushed to the floor by Soldier who is laughing to himself and walking towards the actual war part of the battlefield.

An hour of pep talking later...

"Er... Sir, I don't think this is--" The guard's sentence is cut short by Soldier holding him up by his neck.
"What did you say, maggot!?" Soldier shout asks the guard.
"N-n-n-nothing... Soldier sir..." The guard replies and then Soldier let's go of him... It's go time.