Lunalogy

“So what’s this, like the third time or something?”

“Yeah, didn’t know you were keeping track too.”

Carl felt a hoof smack him in the back of the head, and he knew just who’s hoof it was. “Do you have to be so hard, Stan?”

The changeling next to Carl, known to him as Stan, rolled his blue eyes and continued walking next to him on the street. “Listen Carl, you need to understand that something like this is, not only rare, but very concerning.”

Carl held his blanket tighter. “I know it is, but how am I supposed to deal with it?”

Stan shrugged. “I dunno, wear a condom before you go to sleep?”

Now Carl smacked him in the back of the head. “I’m not having sex Stan, it’s just a dream.”

Stan rubbed his head and chuckled. “It was just a suggestion Carl, and, in a way, it is sex, just...in a dream.”

Carl groaned and looked down at his blanket. “Um...sorry about me throwing the cu-”

“I’d...rather not talk about it Carl, as far as I’m concerned...it never happened.” Stan shivered, not even wanting to think about what was in the blanket.

Carl would've laughed, but the whole situation was becoming too much for him, he never even knew what a ‘wet dream’ was until Stan told him the first night this happened.

Stan shivered again and looked at Carl. “Maybe this time you’ll tell me who it was that was doin’ it with you?”

Carl blushed. “Um...n-not really sure..it..uh….the light was, um, really bright and…”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Fine, don’t tell me, keep living the rest of your days like this, I don’t really see such a problem though.”

“How do you not see the problem.” Carl lifted his balled up blanket. “This is a pretty big problem Stan, I don’t want to constantly wake up to me having to clean this.”

“But you’re practically having something that most changelings are lucky enough to get. I haven’t even heard of anyling who had three in a row.”

“That’s what’s scaring me, Stan. What if this keeps going, what if it never stops.”

Stan laughed. “Then you’d be a very lucky changeling.” He wrapped an arm around Carl’s neck. “Come on now Carl, this is a great gift that the mothers and fathers of the queen gave to you. You should be happy.”

Carl groaned. “Feels more like a curse than a gift.”

Stan let go of him and looked up. “We’re here.”

Carl looked up as well and sighed, seeing the big sign that said LAUNDROMAT. “Do you think that they’ll...know.”

Stan patted his friends back. “Come on now, Carl. I’m sure they it’s not that big of a-”

Carl stopped Stan by unraveling the blanket and staring at him. “What kind of stain do you think they’ll believe this is…”

Stan jokingly expected the blanket. He had no problem talking and dealing with these kinds of things, he did go through love training after all, where they teach changelings how they can get the most food out of a pony, and just like his other siblings, he snickered throughout the entire class, but Stan knew this was a very serious case of it. “Yup, I don’t think they’ll believe that you split blue juice all over it again.”

Carl groaned again and walked into the laundromat, with Stan close behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Welcome to the lawn dry mats, how may the manager assist the consumer this morning.”

Stan and Carl froze in their tracks once they saw who was working the front desk, one of the many creatures they couldn’t believe would work here, and actually be a manager.

“Twig?”

The changeling at the counter chuckled. “Yup. It’s me alright.”

Stan walked up to the counter while Carl hung his head and made his way to a washer. “Twig, what are you doing here?” Stan asked. He knew all too well that this changeling was only qualified as a shield, since he was one of the biggest bugs in the swarm, but of course that meant he wasn’t the brightest.

“I work here now, I am manager number two thirty two.” Twig ended with a smile.

Stan facehoofed. “Twig, that’s your ranking number, not your ‘managing’ number.”

“It’s not?” Twig fidgeted. “Well, that fine, as long as I get to wear this tag.” He pointed at his name tag that was pinned to his chest.

Stan chringed. “Um...Twig, you know that pin is in your carapass...right?”

“My what?” Twig tilted his big head, almost making him lean.

“Your skin, Twig, the pin is in your skin, how are you not in pain right now.”

“Pain?” Twig scratched his head, unsure as to what Stan was talking about. “I just put it on me, just like the boss said.

Stan was starting to realize, not only how strong Twig was, but how thick headed he was as well. “What, that you need to stick it in your body?”

Twig snickered. “No, silly bug, he said that lying bugs like me need to make other ponies know who I am at all times, and to never disguise as anyone or I’m fired.”

“Really?” Stan said with glaring eyes.

“Yup, and that the only reason that I got the job was because he felt sorry for a backstabbing bug like me, and because he couldn’t stand me living over there.”

Stan turned to where Twig was pointing to see Twig’s home, which was just a dark alley with trash all over it. “Right…” Stan looked back at Twig. “Twig, are you sure this is the right job for you?”

“Um…” Twig went crossed eyed for a second and looked down at his nametag. “Guess so.” He said with a smile.

Stan rolled his eyes and leaned against the counter. “Hey Carl! Is it done yet?”

“It’s still washing Stan, laundry takes time to clean when it comes to these machines.”

Twig chuckled. “Nice rhymes. Wait, what is he washing?”

“His blue stained blanket.” Stan said nonchalantly.

“Oh...why is it stained?” Twig asked, causing Stan to smile and Carl groan.

“Um...Twig, do you know what can causes blue stains?”

Twig went crossed eyed again. “Um...blueberry juice?”

Carl ran up to the counter, nudging Stan out of the way. “Yes, it was blueberry that cause my blanket to-”

*BBBZZZZ*

Carl turned around to see the was was done. “Laundry’s ready sir.” Twig said.

Stan smiled. “Better go switch it over, Carl.”

Carl grabbed Stan by the neck. “If you so much as hint Twig about me staining my blanket, so help me I’ll-”

“How’d you stain your blanket Carl?”

Carl turned to Twig, who had his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. “Um...with...the blueberries…”

“Blueberries?” Twig raised his big eye. “But don’t we just eat love?”

Stan pushed Carl off of him and rested his arm on the counter. “We can eat other things besides love, Twig, but it seems that Carl here doesn’t need to eat anything at this rate.”

Carl blushed. “Uh...I...I do too need to ea-”

“Why doesn’t he need to eat” Twig asked. “OH! Is it because of the blueberries?”

Carl covered his face to hide the red that was coming off it while Stan started laughing. “Listen, Twig, you know how we get love, right?”

Twig nodded.

“And you know what happens when we get love, right?”

Twig nodded.

“And you know ways that it can happen, right?”

Twig thought about that for a minute, then he nodded again. “I think so.”

“Well, let’s just say that Carl here-”

Carl dragged his hooves across his face and ran up to Twig’s face. “I had a wet dream! OKAY!”

Silence filled the room, Carl was lucky that no one else was in the building but them, naturally he looked left and right and backed away from his big brother. Twig scratched his ear. “So, you were dreaming that you were in an ocean surrounded by berries?”

*BBBBZZZZ*

Carl slowly turned around and walked toward the dryer. “Just tell him, everyling will know anyway.”

Stan waved a hoof in the air. “Aw, don’t be so sad Carl, it’s not something to be embarrassed about.”

“Yeah Carl,” Twig climbed over the counter, making the ground shake when he landed. “I usually have dreams where I’m swimming in cheese, pretty calming to.”

Carl took his blanket out of the dryer and glared at his brothers. “Yeah, well at least you wake up with dry blankets while I need to deal with this.” He unfolded his blanket and breathed a sigh of relief. “At least the stains gone.”

“Why are you so mad about berry dreams, Carl?” Twig asked.

Stan chuckled. “Um...Twig, he said he’s having wet dreams, you know what the means, right?”

Twig nodded. “Yup, he dreams about swimming in the ocean and waking up with water in his bed...right?”

Carl and Stan gave Twig weird looks while Twig smiled. “Um...where did you hear this?” Carl asked.

“I read books Carl.” Twig said with his head held high.

Carl came within inches to Twigs face while Stan tapped his chin. “Twig, i’m not wetting my bed, I’m doing something that is probably even more embarrassing than that.”

“What? going number two on it?”

Before Carl could smack Twig across the face, Stan came in between them and said, “Carl, if you really want to know how to fix this, then why don’t you do what Twig here said.”

“What’d I say?” Twig asked.

Stan placed his hooves on Twigs shoulders. “You said you read books about...that, so maybe Carl here can know about what’s causing all of this.”

“Reading books?” Carl tilted his head, as did Twig. “I don’t think they’ll have a book about this kind of thing, Stan.”

“What kind of thing?” Twig asked.

Stan shook his head and grabbed Carl. “Come on now Carl, this is probably one of the only ways to fix this, normally I would just go with it, but if it’s really bothering you that much, then maybe we should look into this.”

Carl thought about this, he has been the the library before, but never in a section where it talked about things like this. He looked back down at his blanket, seeing that it was indeed starting to stain a bit, he could only imagine how many times it would take untill the blanket was completely...stained. He grimaced and looked up at Stan. “Alright, fine, let’s see if they have something about this.”

Stan smiled and made his way to the door with Carl by his side. “Wanna come Twig.”

“Sorry guys but my shift doesn’t end till midnight.” Twig hung his head and made his way to the desk.

“Sheesh, working till midnight…” Stan opened the door. “But you can still go on breaks, right?” Stan asked.

Twig raised his head. "You beat your sweet bippy I can!" Seconds later, Twig ran out the door and into the street. “Break time!” He then ran in a random direction with his tongue in the wind.

Stan sighed. “Welp, let’s go get him before he hurts himself.”

Carl rolled his eyes while Stan ran after the big changeling. “And by that you mean hurt others.” Carl looked back down at the blanket and groaned. "Great, now there's another blue mark, and it's even darker too."