Lunalogy

“Well, I was walking along the sidewalk when I saw a bug, hello bug. I followed the little dickens to this building see, then I hit my head on that wall,

*SMACK*

“Oops, sorry. It was this one.

*SMACK*

“Then I gazed at the stars.”

“Um...Twig?”

Twig shook his head and turned around to see two changelings with crossed arms and annoyed faces. “Yes Stan?”

“Twig, that doesn’t answer our question.” Stan said.

“You had a question?” Twig tilted his head and walked back out onto the sidewalk.

Carl facehoofed. “Yeah, Twig. You didn’t answer how you-”

Twig interrupted Carl by pulling him in for a side hug. “But I already told you how I got the job, silly.” He gave him a quick noogie and pushed him away.

Carl rubbed his head while Stan punched Twig in the arm, not causing any pain whatsoever. “Twig, we asked why that job, why not something better.”

“Don’t you know Stan,” Carl walked in between them and adjusted his blanket on his back. “changelings like us can’t get ‘better jobs’ the only way we can is if we-”

“Get engaged?” Twig interrupted.

Both Stan and Carl looked at him in astonishment, it wasn’t every day Twig answered a question right. “Um...yes, Twig. How did you-”

“Because Scarlet was able to get a job in accounting by going out with a pony, and she didn’t even need to hypnotize him.” Twig started walking again, with Stan and Carl close by.

“How do you know about this?” Stan asked. “I know for a fact that not a whole lot of changeling keep up with the latest news when it comes to relationships.” He eyed him suspiciously.

“I read the paper, Stanley.” Twig answered with a smile.

Carl sighed and looked back at his blanket, knowing full well that this will not be the last time he’ll clean it. Truthfully, he didn’t mind having the dreams, they were nice, but the ‘aftereffect’ was what bothered him. He shook that thought away and went back to the conversation. “So, you read the news then?”

Twig craned his head to Carl and nodded. “Yup, that’s where I tried to find a job.”

“Really?” Stan tilted his head. “You looked in the listings?”

“Yeah, there were tons of things I could've done, there was this one place in the clouds that helped make colors, but I thought it would be too far away from home.”

“Twig, you don’t have a-”

“And then,” Twig continued. “There was this other job that dealt with pizza.”

“Pizza? I didn’t know you could cook Twig.” Carl was surprised that Twig could do anything actually.

“Oh no, The ad said that I didn’t need to do anything but sit in an office and look at screens.”

“Screens?” Stan had no idea what those were. “Probably another name for a window.” He thought.

Twig nodded again. “I was gonna take it, but then brother Mikey took it instead.”

“Mike?” Stan asked. “That jerk took it?”

“Oh, he’s not a jerk, Stan. Just because he yells a lot and gets in fights doesn’t make him a jerk.”

Stan rolled his eyes and decided to skim the street. “So what else did you look for.”

“Hu? Oh! I was gonna help this one stallion at a farm.” Twig said with his still present smile.

“Farming now?” Stan was starting to not believe any of this.

“Yup, the ad said he needed someone with the backbone of a yak, get used to being called nincompoop, and know how to peel potatoes.”

“So he lives in Idahoof?” Stan asked, knowing full well that that city was very far from here, and that it grew potatoes. “Is that why you couldn’t take the job.”

“He doesn’t live there, silly, he lives on a colt-de-sac, and before that he lived in the neightherlands.”

“Weird pony.” Stan was half listening and half looking for a library while Carl was still confused on Twigs story.

“How do you know this?” Carl asked.

“I worked for him, untill he said that I had brought shamed to the son of a shepherd and kicked me out. It was fun while it lasted though.”

“What a strange world you live in, Twig.” Carl looked down, unable to comprehend what Twig has been going through.

“I come in peace, Carl.” Twig pulled Carl in for another hug, but before he could rub his brothers head again, Stan stopped him and pointed forward.

“There.” Stan said. “That’s the place, right Twig?”

Twig dropped Carl and squinted his eyes at the building. “I think so, it has those letters that spell out liberty and justice for everyling.”

Carl got up and dusted himself off. “You mean library.”

“That too.” Twig started walking. “Let’s go see if it has those books about mind reading!”

Stan and Carl could only stand back and look at Twig running down the street, knocking ponies out of the way and having his tongue flap in the wind.

Carl sighed. “Are you sure this place will help.”

Stan shrugged. “I’m sure it does, If there’s one thing I know about knowledge, is that it’s always written down somewhere, that’s how you get information about things.”

“But who would make a book about this.” Carl craned his head at his blanket.

Stan shrugged again. “A pony who had a lot of time on their hooves? And was very perverted?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, it would be under the science section.”

“But if dreams are magical, why would you need science to know about them?”

The red pony at the front desk rubbed her temples. This would be the hundredth time someone asked her a question today. “Sir, dreams are involved within ones self conscience, ergo, books about the science of the mind will better help you learn more about nighttime visions, rather than books of magic and sorcery.”

Twig went cross eyed. “What's an ergo?” He asked, causing the mare at the front desk to groan in annoyance.

The sound of front doors opening made the pony look up and put on a smile. “Good day gentlecol- or uh...lings, how can I-”

“Do you have books about dreams?” Carl asked, standing next to Twig with Stan close by.

The mare answered with her head hitting the desk. “You’ll find all your information over in the science section of the library.” She answered with her head still stuck to the desk.

Stan raised an eye. “But dreams are magical, right?”

The mare raised her head in the air and yelled, “Fine! You know what,” She pointed at a door behind her. “All your fantacy dreams are over there in that room. Happy?!” She fell on his desk again and sighed.

The changelings looked at one another before shrugging and walking to the door. “Thanks for the help.” Twig said before whispering to Stan, “Why’s she so angry?”

“Does it look like I know, Twig?” Stan said.

“Maybe.” Twig said stupidly.

Carl turned around and put his hoof on the door. “Listen, can we just find this book already. I really want this...to...be…...over…”

As Carl opened the door, he and his friends couldn’t help but gaze at how long the room was, and how tall every shelf was as well, and each one of them was filled to the brim of books.

“Whoa…” Was all they could say to such a sight. After a few minutes of staring, the mare came behind them with a cart full of books and said. “I’d suggest you not go in,” She turned around and grabbed a book. “With that many books, it might just take a-”

*SLAM*

“...While.” The pony sighed again and picked up another book, placing both books on a shelf. “I will never understand those insects.”