The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 10

Princess Celestia teleported to the Golden Oaks Library and knocked on the front door. Normally she would simply teleport inside, but she was trying to be considerate towards her student. She waited patiently, then knocked again only to receive no answer. After another few minutes of waiting, she decided to enter the library and find out what was going on. Upon entering, she heard moans of pleasure coupled with the sound of ponies gasping for breath, sounds which caused the alicorn to tilt her head in an attempt to discern with greater accuracy the source of the noises.

These sounds seemed to be coming from the upstairs area, so she trotted upstairs slowly, listening carefuly to Twilight and Trixie engaging in some activity. She reached the door the sounds seemed to be coming from and opened it carefully to reveal the two mares laying on the floor, their hind hooves touching, their eyes clenched shut, their mouths wide open as they moaned and huffed and gasped and panted as their pleasure took control of their bodies.

"Ahem, Twilight, my faithful student," the alicorn began, giving said mare a stern glare.

"Mmmmh, Trixie, did you hear somepony?" the librarian asked, her eyes still clenched shut.

"Mmmh, Trixie thinks she did -- but Trixie does not care," the show-mare replied, likewise lost in bliss.

The Solar Princess decided on another tactic. Using her magic, she created a bucket of cold water and dumped it on both mares, who quickly rose to their hooves and shook out the water, sputtering almost in rage.

"Whoever did that is a dead pony," Twilight growled before turning her gaze on her mentor. Her eyes went wide as saucers, her pupils diminishing to pinpricks, her ears laying flat against her head. "Princess Celestia! I am so sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

"I was wondering what it was going to take to get you two to notice me," the alicorn mused, chuckling softly. "I know you didn't mean what you said -- had I been in a similar situation, I too probably would have been upset enough to flay the offending pony alive."

"So, Princess, what brings you here?" Twilight asked, grinning sheepishly.

"I've been wondering what's been happening around here during the past several days -- I haven't received a friendship report lately."

"Um, well -- nothing special's been happening around here -- and there hasn't been anything to report on, so -- when there is, I'll be sure to send you a report!" the lavender mare chirped, offering a big toothy grin. "Now, if you don't mind, Princess, Trixie and I have some important research to get caught up on. Isn't that right, Trixie?"

"Sparkle speaks truth, your Highness -- Trixie wishes to return to her previous activity of helping Sparkle do more research," the show-mare offered, her grin matching that of Twilight's.

"... That did not look like research to me -- in fact, it looked like you two were engaged in boku-maru," the alicorn noted dryly. "There's been quite a bit of that going on around here and it troubles me deeply. Twilight, I hope you send me a friendship report soon. I will give you another week and if I don't hear back from you by then -- I may have to take stronger measures." With that, the alicorn teleported back to Canterlot.

"Yes, Princess, I'll get right on it," Twilight offered, beaming a big smile before turning her attention back to the show-mare. "So, Trixie, where were we when we were so rudely interrupted?" the librarian grinned. The show-mare blushed and giggled in response before being tackled playfully by her new lover.

"I figured it would be a good idea for us to start from my shop," Milky Way opined as we reached the front door. Another line of ponies stood in front, waiting for the milkmare to arrive and open the shop as I stood by the front door, glaring at the ponies with a stern expression.

"One at a time, if you remember correctly," I stated firmly. "The price has gone up a little as well -- twenty bits per quart," I added.

"Hey, Milky Way! Why did you raise your prices?" asked one of the ponies.

"Umm, it wasn't my idea! Ask him!" she replied, pointing her left forehoof at me. The pony turned to me quizzically.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am Amethyst Flame, business associate of Miss Milky Way. I advised her that her price of ten bits per quart was too low, given the high quality of her milk," I replied firmly, maintaining my stern expression.

"He has a number for his cutie mark!" observed a stallion in the line. The others in line peered at me and began chatting with each other, talking about me in a derogatory tone. I lit my horn, the aura a pale yellow as I created a pyrotechnic display about two hundred feet above them. The firework had the desired effect of wowing them.

"Don't talk about that any more," I growled. A pegasus mare flew down to meet me, her face a mask of anger.

"Did you just send up that firework?" she asked. She rubbed her eyes with her left forehoof as tears streamed from them. Part of her pale green coat had been singed.

"I'm terribly sorry about that, ma'am," I offered. I lit my horn again and healed her as best I could.

"Oooh, that felt nice," she replied softly. "I didn't know you were so talented! Who are you?"

"Amethyst Flame, ma'am. I'll try to be a little more careful next time I light fireworks," I replied. "Now, anypony wanting to buy milk at twenty bits per quart, you may enter one at a time," I stated loudly as I addressed the line of ponies who still remained. I allowed each pony to enter, then as each one left I let another enter. About an hour or so later, the nineteenth pony left the shop with two quarts of milk.

"I'm all out," Milky Way stated as she addressed the remaining ponies. "I'm sorry, everypony, but I have no more milk -- it's all gone." She hung the CLOSED sign on the inside of the door and locked up. She turned to me and smiled. "Okay, Amethyst, let's get going -- the restaurant we're going to is about a mile or so away from here."

I took my position to her left as we began trotting side by side. From her shop we trotted five blocks north, then turned left and trotted another five blocks, then turned right and trotted two more blocks before we reached our destination. We discussed future plans as we made our way there.

"Here we are, Amethyst -- the Mare's Tail Pub and Eatery," she announced.

"Truthfully, I have never eaten Equestrian food," I declared. I looked up at the sign but could not make out the lettering. "I'm going to have to ask you to read the menu to me."

"How is it that you can speak Equish but not know how to read it?" she asked, a deeply puzzled expression on her face.

"Because the language I grew up reading, writing, and speaking is called English -- I'm amazed that the spoken form is compatible with what you know -- so I'm gonna have to learn how to read and write Equish as soon as possible."

We trotted into the pub and I noticed that it looked remarkably similar to pubs I remembered from England -- tables and booths for patrons to sit at, as well as a bar. The barkeep was a burly mare, bright red with a striking silver and blue mane and tail. Her eyes were a deep blue, matching Milky Way's mane and tail and she noticed us immediately.

"Milky Way! Who's your stallion?" she asked. Half the patrons turned toward us and glanced our way before turning their attention back to whatever it was they were doing before the barkeep spoke.

The milkmare trotted up to the bar and I followed her. "His name's Amethyst Flame, Red Watney," she stated warmly.

"Nice to meet'cha, Amethyst," the barkeep smiled. "What'll ya have? First drink's on the house," she offered warmly.

"Mmmh, a nice strong cider would be good, I think," I replied.

"Excellent choice -- we have it on tap, nice and cold, too," she stated as she fetched a mug and poured it for me. I used my telekinesis to lift it to my lips and drunk heavily from it. The cider had the strong tang of alcohol and a very sweet taste to it.

"Mmmh, where do you get this? It's very good," I noted.

"I have a source in Ponyville who provides me with it," she replied confidently.

"Sounds like it might be Sweet Apple Acres cider," I mused.

"Indeed it is! You have good taste!" she chirped.

"Amethyst, I didn't know you drank," the milkmare half-asked.

"I scarcely ever touch alcohol, my love -- except on special occasions -- and usually no more than one drink every three to six months or longer," I explained. "Rest assured, this will be the only one for me for quite awhile."

"I don't mind you drinking, as long as it's in moderation," she responded.

"Um, did you just call her 'my love'?" the barkeep queried, peering at me again.

"Something wrong with that?" I asked, a hint of annoyance in my tone.

"Well -- I wish you luck with her," she replied, earning a sharp glare from the milkmare.

"Red, I hope you control your tongue," Milky Way advised firmly, her gaze hardening a little.

"Your stallion is quite handsome, Milky -- I wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with him myself!" the mare chortled, giving me a sultry look. "I'll give you another cider on the house," she grinned at me.

"Is she always this blunt?" I asked, addressing my love directly.

"She might be a little jealous that you're with me," she offered softly, still glaring at the barkeep.

"So, were you two wanting something to eat?" asked Red, still leering at me.

"... I think we might be looking for eats somewheres else," I replied, tilting my head a little as I gave my love a slightly questioning look.

"Amethyst, I'm sorry to have brought you here -- Red's usually a bit better behaved than this, but -- I think your striking appearance may have led her to act out more than usual," the milkmare opined.

"Milky Way, Amethyst -- please forgive me -- I meant no disrespect," the red mare offered, her ears lowered in an apologetic gesture. "Please, I'll even give you a discount on your food order!"

"Apology accepted, Red," I responded sincerely, earning a low growl from the milkmare.

"Amethyst, you are too quick to forgive -- she's only trying to get you to go with her!" the milkmare huffed almost angrily. I was taken aback to see my love acting this jealously and my expression of apprehension caused her to soften her attitude immediately. "Mmmh, Amethyst, I'm sorry -- it's just that -- she tried to hit on you!"

"Probably because stallions are outnumbered four to one in this world," I mused.

"Amethyst, I hope you'll have me as your only mare," she cautioned, still glaring at me.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be so possessive or jealous, Milky -- are you that afraid of losing me to another mare? Please, your beauty is incomparable, your personality and charm are undeniable -- you need not worry about me taking another mare as long as you love me," I offered warmly, giving her a sincere smile.

"Mmmh, I love it when you tell me that," she cooed. "There's another restaurant I'd like to take you to -- come on, Amethyst, let's go!" she exclaimed as she trotted quickly to the door. I quaffed the rest of the cider and used my telekinesis to levitate the empty mug back to the bar counter.

"Uh, thanks for the cider, Red -- maybe we might come back this way again sometime -- or maybe not," I stated as I was forcibly pulled out of the establishment by a very strong yellow foreleg.

"Amethyst, don't talk to her anymore! You're with me, so let's get going!" she implored as she trotted brusquely down the street. I nearly had to canter to keep up with her, though watching her teats sway back and forth from side to side entranced me. She turned her head to see me staring at them and huffed in annoyance. "Stop staring at my teats, Amethyst! You'll get a chance to milk me later!"

This mare is going to be trouble for you, I thought to myself as I silently followed her, listening to the clopping our hooves made on the street -- the rhythmic sounds soothed my nerves a little, though I tried to keep from pounding the street too heavily. She glanced over her left at me and smiled.

"Not too much further, Amethyst," she announced as we rounded another corner. I saw another sign hanging above a door about a block and a half away as the milkmare reduced her pace to a slow trot. "The Stallion's Retreat -- best alehouse in Trottingham," she said as she read the sign for me.

"What about the food quality? Have you eaten her enough to give me a good idea?" I asked.

"Yes, Amethyst -- I would not have led you here otherwise," she stated in a patronizing tone. I raised my eyebrows at her before furrowing my brow almost involuntarily. "Something troubling you, my love?"

"You're letting your dark side show," I opined almost petulantly, an admission which caused her eyes to widen. "There's a part of me that wonders what the rumors about you truly are -- and that regardless of how nicely a stallion tries to treat you or how much effort he puts forth to please you, you will not be satisfied by his attempts. I must admit that the woman I was married to, or perhaps still am married to treated me like that nearly all the time. She took my love for granted. I sincerely hope you won't treat me like that, lest you drive me away from you and into the hooves of another mare," I explained. She gave me a nervous look of anxiety, though I thought I saw tears beginning to well up in the corners of her eyes.

"Umm, Amethyst -- can we talk over a plate of food? I don't want everypony out here listening in on a private conversation," she stated, glancing around nervously and entered the pub. I followed her in and we trotted over to a booth, taking seats on opposite sides of the table. A pale blue stallion trotted over to us at this point.

"Welcome to the Stallion's Retreat -- would either of you like something to drink to start off with? Ah, Miss Milky Way! Such a pleasant surprise! Who is your companion?"

"I am Amethyst Flame, sir," I replied warmly.

"Interesting name -- do you specialize in gemstones or fire magic?"

"I have many talents, but nothing specific," I replied.

"Very well then. Something to drink while you peruse the menu?" he asked.

"Water's fine for me," I replied warmly, eliciting a gasp of shock from the milkmare.

"NO! Don't get him any water! Get him something else -- anything else -- but no water!" she exclaimed in a panicked tone.

"Our specialty ale is called Olde Frothingslosh, would you be interested?" he asked, flashing me a grin.

"I've heard of that -- the pale stale ale with the foam on the bottom -- sure, I'll have one," I replied. "Ach, mein gosh! Ist Frothingslosh!" I chuckled.

"So! You've seen the ads about it! Excellent! And for you, Miss Milky Way?"

"Mmmh, I'll have a glass of milk," she replied, eliciting a wide-eyed look of stunned surprise from me. My reaction caused her to giggle. "It's not my milk I'm drinking, silly!"

"That's not the point," I retorted as I folded my forehooves across my barrel, giving her a firm stare. I shifted my weight a little to try to find a slightly more comfortable position.

"Well, are you going to look at the menu?" she asked as she tried to change the subject. She unfolded her menu and began looking at it, though she held it directly in front of her face to hide it from me.

"I told you I can't read Equish, Milky," I replied as I opened my menu and looked at it, then turned it upside-down. I saw figures which looked like numbers on one side and organized characters on the other, which I surmised formed words constructed from the letters of the Equish alphabet. "Um, are there 26 characters in the Equish alphabet?" I asked.

"Yes! How did you know?" she asked as she set her menu down and smiled at me.

"My language also has 26 characters in its alphabet," I replied. "If I can match one with the other, I might be able to read Equish sooner than you think."

"Here you are, sir, your ale, and for you, ma'am, your milk," the stallion waiter chuckled. "Have you two decided on an entree or would you like an appetizer? Are you ready to order?"

I took the mug of ale, noting the foam at the bottom. I snorted in irony at the beverage before lifting the mug to my lips and sipping at it. The flavor was somewhat bitter, which caused me to frown. "Milky, I need your help," I stated flatly.

"Um, he can't read Equish," she nearly whispered to the waiter. He grinned broadly and began laughing at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I would stop laughing if I were you," I growled at him. "I'm still new here and it will take me a little time to learn how to read your language."

"Where are you from?" he asked, trying to control his laughter. "Why did Milky Way tell me not to get you any water?"

"Because you'd get to see me in my true form -- and you would most likely be quite shocked by the end result. That would also answer your question as to why I can't read Equish," I replied.

"Mmmh, I'll be right back," he stated before trotting away very quickly.

"Amethyst! Why did you tell him that?" the milkmare asked me in exasperation, adding a glare of disapproval as punctuation.

"Mmmh, my love -- perhaps it would be best if I were to remain a human," I mused pensively. I took another gulp of the ale, allowing it to sit in my mouth a little before swallowing it. The tang of the hops gave the ale a rather interesting aftertaste. I looked at the menu again, flipping it around in an attempt to make heads or tales of the printed words.

"That's him, Guinness," the waiter stated as another stallion approached, this one a very dark brown with a pale tan mane and tail. The waiter had a pitcher of water on a tray as well and poured a glass for me. "Amethyst, drink this -- I want to see what you're talking about."

The milkmare screamed in horror and leapt onto the table, knocking the tray and its contents to the floor. "What are you doing? Amethyst is my stallion! You shouldn't even think of trying to change him!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed in resignation before lighting my horn, the aura a pale pink and lifted the mare off the table, holding her in mid-air. "Milky, this is not the time or place to be making such a scene. Um, Guinness? I'm really sorry about this -- I had no idea she would do that." I looked at the tray on the floor, but noticed the pitcher still had some water in it. I levitated it to my mouth and poured some of the water from the pitcher into my open mouth and swallowed. I put the milkmare back on the floor, though I also noticed her begin to cry as I curled up in pain, the water having the effect of transforming me back into my human form. I writhed on the floor, moaning and grimacing as the pain intensified, a trickle of blood leaving the corner of my mouth.

"Give me some room!" Milky Way shouted as she strode over to me. "Michael! Why?"

I turned over to look at her, though a smile graced my lips. "Sometimes certain things need to be done," I replied, my voice rather hoarse. "Let me have some more ale," I croaked a little louder.

"Hmph. What you really need is some more of my milk," the mare snorted derisively as she straddled my head again, her teats nearly drooping to my face. Initially I was tempted to refuse her offer, but my state of nudity and my exposed penis was enough for her to wrap her mouth around it again.

"Um, are you really gonna do that in here?" I asked incredulously as she began licking and sucking on it. She spat it out before answering me.

"Yeah, if you're willing to milk me again," she giggled. I heaved another sigh of resignation as I took the one to my right and began sucking on it and squeezing the milk out of it, the flavor not as sweet as before. I switched between her teats and drank as much as I could, amazed by the swiftness of the transformation back into my stallion self again. Upon seeing the changes take place, many of the patrons expressed deep astonishment and gawped at me.

I rose to my hooves after the milkmare finished bringing me to climax -- I suspect she enjoyed the taste of my semen or something -- and addressed the ponies.

"Amazing, isn't it?" I asked them. They nodded their heads in response.

"Who are you? What was that -- creature -- you were before you turned back into a pony?" asked Guinness.

"That was my human form -- I actually came from a world of humans, but discovered that Milky Way's milk can transform me into a pony. My human name is Michael, but as a pony, I go by the name of Amethyst Flame. My home world has a language that, in spoken form, is understandable to yours -- but in printed form, Equish is as alien to me as hieroglyphics," I explained.

"What's that?" asked another pony.

"An ancient language made up of pictures back in my home world. There is one aspect of Equish in common with my language -- the fact that your language has 26 characters in its alphabet is an interesting corrolary to mine."

The front door of the pub opened to reveal a certain alabaster mare with a purple mane and tail, her three diamond cutie mark giving her away. Her appearance had deteriorated further, her make-up smeared very badly, her coat noticeably dirty and her horn still gone. "Mmmh, darling! Wait -- where's Michael? I was under the impression he was here," she stated. "Discord told me he was here! But -- I don't see him," she mused aloud. Everypony in the pub remained silent as they gaped at the distraught mare.

"You missed him by about half an hour," I replied loudly, the milkmare shushing me harshly.

"Hmm. You're quite handsome! Who might you be, darling?"

"Grape Jelly, but that's not important. Don't you have somewhere you should be going? You're interrupting an important discussion," I stated flatly.

"Grape Jelly? What kind of a name is that, darling? I would certainly hope you choose something more appropriate for your rather dapper and dashing appearance! Something on the order of, say, Amethyst Flame, or something like that!" she chortled. "Hmmm! How about a little boku-maru?" she added, grinning slyly at me. Her smeared make-up and dirty coat caused me to wrinkle my muzzle at her.

"Um, no -- and what's happened to you? Why are you so dirty?" I asked, the milkmare glowering at me again.

"Mmh, darling, it gets dirty out there when I boku-maru with so many ponies! I thought you'd be willing to do it with me, since you're so handsome and all! Grape Jelly ... sounds delicious!"

I nearly blanched at her confession, astonished by the fact that she was going around and doing that with everypony she could. I took a moment to regain some composure before responding. "...I don't know who you are, but I think you'd better leave," I advised the fashionista, my gaze darkening at her.

"Very well then -- I shall seek out that human! And when I find him..." she offered darkly as she left the pub, letting the door slam shut behind her.

"Amethyst! What are we going to do about her?" the milkmare asked me, exasperation coloring her words again.

"I guess we're just going to have to endure her insanity, my love," I replied. My stomach growled loudly at this point, though I had thought consuming so much milk would have sated my appetite.

"Ah, so you're hungry! If you need help reading the menu, I'll be happy to assist," the stallion waiter offered warmly. The milkmare returned to her seat at the booth and I climbed back into my side, scoffing at the irony of the situation.

"Thanks for the offer, but my love can help me with that -- no offense, sir," I responded.

"None taken, Amethyst. Miss Milky Way, have you decided yet?"

"I'll have the grilled cheese platter, with the house salad and dressing," she replied warmly.

"Hmm, that sounds tasty -- I'll have the same thing," I offered. "How many grilled cheese sandwiches come with that platter?"

"Two for mares and three for stallions," he replied, smiling warmly. "Would you like another ale?"

"Yes, please -- it's a little bitter, but I'm used to that." My love gave me a worried look.

"Um, Amethyst, I thought you said you drank sparingly," she said.

"Well, it's just that I can't drink water -- um, do you have sarsaparilla here?" I asked the waiter.

"Ah, yes! Good choice! Ours is the best in Trottingham!" he stated proudly as he trotted back to the kitchen.

"I'm glad you chose that," the milkmare said softly, her smile returning. "Now, what were you saying earlier about your marriage?"

"What I was trying to tell you is that my wife treated me very badly, which was one of the reasons I wished to come here, to Equestria -- but I wasn't expecting to wake up laying next to Rarity, nor was I expecting to discover that she's a serial murderer," I replied matter-of-factly.

She flashed a look of concern. "Umm, if there's anything I say or do that makes you upset, please let me know. But -- I also beg you not to take advantage of my love for you -- you'd upset me if you did."

"You have my word on that, my love," I intoned softly, gazing into her emerald eyes again. The waiter returned with our salads and refilled Milky's glass with fresh milk and placed a cold glass of sarsaparilla in front of me.

"Your salads and your drinks -- I shall return shortly with your sandwiches," he announced before leaving again.

"Thanks," I said, addressing his retreating form. I watched in amazement as the milkmare lowered her head, her eyes closed and her forehooves brought together. I saw her mouth some words before she returned to face me, a sheepish grin on her face.

"Um, I hope you don't mind me praying before I eat," she offered, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"Not at all, my love -- I hope you don't mind if I choose not to do so -- okay, sorry I said that," I said, noting her glare of disapproval when I mentioned not praying before eating. I took a sip from my glass before the milkmare cleared her throat at me.

"This isn't going to work if you're going to judge me by your standards, Milky Way," I declared, fixing her with a firm stare.

"You should at least have the common decency to respect the creator when it comes to eating your food and drinking your beverage," she noted in an almost condescending tone of voice. I raised my eyebrows again, then furrowed them again before narrowing my eyes at her, a frown making its way onto my face. "Um, does that mean you're upset with me?" she asked almost timidly, her ears lowered again. I simply nodded my head before drinking from my glass again, then taking a bite of my salad.

"This sarsaparilla's really good," I noted. "The salad's quite good as well. Thanks for bringing me here, Milky Way," I added.

"I'm glad you like it -- but I'd appreciate it if you'd --" she began before she stopped herself, noticing me glaring at her. "Umm, did I say something wrong? Why didn't you call me 'my love'?"

"Milky Way, I thought I told you not to judge me by your standards or hold me to them. Please don't be too upset if I don't call you what you want me to -- I hope I don't sound too vulgar if I tell you I can call you what I like whenever the mood suits me. I am my own pony and march to the beat of my own drummer -- I request you not try to change me into something I'm not -- that is, unless you want me to leave you for another mare. There's lots of them to choose from," I stated nonchalantly.

"But -- you told me how beautiful I am! Isn't that good enough for you?"

"Looks are important, Milky, but that's just what's on the outside. As I get to know you better, your personality is more important than your appearance. Be nice to me and I will love you even more," I replied warmly, flashing a smile.

"Mmmh, I'll do my best, Amethyst," she offered in response.

The waiter returned again, this time with two plates with grilled cheese sandwiches on them, along with a garnish of dandelion greens. "Your orders, sir and madam," he announced stiffly before leaving again. I took one of the sandwiches, which were still hot and blew on it before taking a bite.

"Mmm! Oh my gosh, this is wonderful! I've made grilled cheese sandwiches in my home world, but this! Whoa!" I exclaimed almost excitedly, earning a big grin from the milkmare.

"Good, huh?" she giggled.

"That's an understatement, Milky! They even knew to blacken the bread for me!"

"Then you can have mine -- I don't like burnt bread. Waiter! Bring me two more sandwiches, and don't burn the bread this time!" she shouted at the stallion, who blushed deeply before retreating to the kitchen. I blushed in embarrassment and tried to hide my face with my right forehoof. "Amethyst, do you really like burnt bread?"

I was already on my second sandwich and replied through a mouthful of food, "Yeah, it's great! You don't know what you're missing!"

The milkmare frowned at me. "Ugh, don't talk with your mouth full! Didn't you have any kind of home training?"

I swallowed my food before responding. "Sorry about that, Milky Way, it's just that I didn't want to hesitate to answer your question while I was eating. I know it's bad manners to do that."

"So don't do it again, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," I replied sullenly, my head and ears lowered in apology.

"Please don't call me that," she complained in an almost petulant tone of voice.

"But the waiter just did that," I retorted flatly. "Oh, I suppose you don't want your stallion saying that to you, is that right?" I asked as my tone trended towards sarcasm.

"Don't patronize me!" she protested firmly, glaring at me in disapproval again. I heaved a sigh of resignation and wolfed down the rest of my food, then quaffed my sarsaparilla. "And don't eat so fast! You'll get a stomach ache if you do!"

I wiped my muzzle with a napkin and fetched my saddlebags, eliciting a look of surprise from the milkmare. "I'm not your foal, so don't treat me like it," I advised.

"I'm not done eating," she declared as she watched me rise to my hooves and slip the saddlebags onto my back. I used my telekinesis to lift the satchel of coins out, which made her gasp. "Um, please tell me you're not leaving me here," she intoned in apprehension, her eyebrows raised. I fished out about 200 bits or so and levitated the coins onto the table in front of her.

"Amethyst -- please wait," she requested in a very worried tone. "Please talk to me."

I turned to leave as the waiter returned. "How is everything? I hope the food meets with your satisfaction," he offered.

"The food is excellent, sir -- but I'm afraid I must be going. I hope the bill is not too high," I noted.

"Even with the damage to the pitcher and glass, your bill only comes to 37 bits," he responded. "But -- why are you leaving your mare behind?"

"She has displeased me -- her attitude towards me has shifted, and I do not like this," I replied flatly, glancing over my right shoulder at her. She finished her food quickly and trotted over to me, anger quite evident on her face.

"I asked you nicely, Amethyst! Where are you going to go if you're not with me?" she asked as she rose from the table and trotted towards me, a look of consternation marking her features.

I hung my head and shook it slowly, sighing heavily as I did so. "Milky Way, I'm very sorry to have caused you so much trouble," I stated sullenly as I began to trot towards the door. She moved to block my path.

"Amethyst, I beg you! Please don't leave me!" she exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please! Please forgive me! Why would you treat me like this? We've only been together for a day!"

I mashed my muzzle against hers, my face a mask of anger. "Because you're acting exactly like my human wife, that's why. We've only been together for a day and you're already criticizing me for petty faults. I fell victim to that back when Brenda and I got married 21 years ago and I'm gonna nip this thing in the bud before it has a chance to burn me like I got burned the last time around. Now if you don't mind, Miss Milky Way, I must be going," I growled angrily, causing the milkmare to shrink back from me, a look of sadness on her face.