The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 11

"Michael!" she shouted at my retreating form, causing me to stop immediately. I whirled around, my anger turning to rage and swiftly trotted to her, once again mashing my muzzle against hers.

"Don't you EVER call me by that name AGAIN! Do you HEAR ME?!" I shouted in her face.

"Y-yes, M-michael!" she squeaked, causing me to facehoof.

"UGH! What did I just tell you!" I groaned as I turned around and trotted towards the door again. She galloped to me and tackled me to the floor, pinning me under her weight.

"Please, Amethyst! I need you!" she wailed as she lay on top of me, her tears flowing freely.

"Somepony get her OFF ME!" I shouted angrily, causing the milkmare to sob uncontrollably, but she complied with my request and faced me.

"I -- I -- I thought you loved me!" she wailed.

"I do, Milky -- but -- there are too many differences between us. I am very sorry -- I wish I didn't have to do this -- but I have to. I am so very sorry, Milky Way," I declared softly before kissing her on the lips. "We cannot be together. Good-bye, my love," I stated as I turned to the door again, trotting slowly towards it. Tears continued to stream down her cheeks as I made my way to the door. Just before reaching it, I turned around to give her one last look, though her baleful expression made my heart break. I sighed in resignation and trotted slowly back to her, eliciting a hopeful smile on her face.

"Amethyst, if you forgive me -- I will do anything to make sure you're happy -- and I will do everything I can to keep you happy," she stated solemnly. She kissed me on my lips to emphasize her point, but a stray thought popped in my head, forcing a mental debate within myself.

You'd better leave her while you're still able to, Michael.

It might be too late for that already, I thought back.

Then you'd better watch your back -- there's no telling what she could do -- or might do.

"My love, I sincerely hope you're willing to be true to your word, for my sake," I stated firmly. She reared onto her hind legs and hugged me passionately, kissing me on my lips.

"Mmmh, Amethyst! I promise to make you happy!" she chirped gleefully.

"Waiter, I'm parched -- may I have a glass of water?" I asked loudly, eliciting a gasp of shock from the milkmare, her eyes going wide with fright again.

"Please, Amethyst! No! Please! For me! Don't do this!" she begged. The waiter returned very shortly with a glass of water on a tray, a big grin on his face. Guinness silently expressed some reservation about my request, but did nothing to stop the waiter from bringing another glass of water. My love dropped to her knees and begged me more vociferously, though I chose to ignore her.

"Your water, sir!" he chuckled, placing it before me. Once again I took the glass in my aura and put it to my lips, drinking heavily from it. After a couple of swallows, the glass fell to the floor and broke as my aura around it disappeared.

"NOOOOO!!" the milkmare wailed as she watched me curl up on the floor again, clutching my belly with my forehooves.

"AAAAHH!!" I moaned as the transformation proceeded very swiftly. My moans became louder as the pain seemed to surge throughout my entire body -- my chest felt like it was on fire, but my legs felt cold. "UGH!" I grunted as the pain intensified further. My vision went blurry before going black as I lost consciousness.

"NOOOO!!" Milky Way screamed as she rushed to my side, holding me with her forehooves, laying her head on my chest as my body reverted to its original human form. Blood seeped from my nostrils and the corners of my mouth as my body curled into a fetal position on the floor.

"That stuff must be poisonous to him," Guinness mused aloud, peering at my body.

"Is -- is there a doctor in the house?" the milkmare asked in a pleading tone, her tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"Blue Flash, get a medical team here ASAP," Guinness commanded a blue pegasus stallion. This stallion worked in the back, doing various tasks for the pub, but was also nearly as fast a flier as Rainbow Dash.

"Yes, sir!" he stated sharply, saluting his boss before trotting quickly out the door and flying as fast as he could to the hospital. He returned about five minutes later with another pegasus, this one a white mare who wore a nurse's outfit.

"That was fast!" the milkmare observed as she moved away from my body and allowed the nurse to examine me.

"What do you know about being fast? It took two minutes to get here! What manner of creature is this? I've never seen its like before," the nurse noted.

"Um, he's a human, and his name is Michael," Milky Way replied softly. "Can you help him?"

"I'm just here to assess his condition -- a medical team has already been dispatched to assist. From what I'm able to tell, he's unconscious, but will need a little time to recover from his injuries. It appears as though he's suffered from blunt force trauma," she observed.

"Nopony attacked him -- he drank some water, which had this effect on him," the milkmare noted. The nurse nearly gasped in shock before quickly regaining a little composure.

"It would have been helpful had you mentioned this to me earlier. His digestive system probably cannot tolerate drinking water -- most unfortunate -- we need to rush him to a hospital as soon as possible!" the nurse exclaimed as she rose to her hooves and swiftly left the pub to reconnoiter with the medical team. They were still about fifteen minutes out when she met with them. She then rushed back to retrieve my body.

"I need another pegasus to assist me in carrying him to the medical team! They're close, but not close enough, and this patient may die if we don't get him to hospital stat!"

"Blue Flash at your service, ma'am," the blue stallion announced proudly. "Which end should I carry?"

"Take his lower hooves -- I'll take his head," the nurse stated as she lifted my head in her forehooves.

"Mmmh, don't leave me, my love," I mumbled, causing the nurse to blush and the milkmare to smile. I woke to find my head cradled between two white forelegs and immediately shouted in fright, thinking that I had been taken by the fashionista again. I opened my eyes to see an alabaster face of concern, her pale lavender eyes and her silvery mane causing me some confusion.

"Sorry about that, miss --" I began, pausing to let her say her name. I gave her an expectant look.

"Umm, I am White Health," she stated softly. "How are you feeling?"

I licked the corners of my mouth, tasting a slightly salty substance. "Every time I drink water as a unicorn stallion, I turn into a human male -- but it seems to hurt me considerably more each time it happens. I don't know how many more times I can do that before it ends up killing me," I mused. "My stomach still aches -- did somepony bring me an ale?"

"I would recommend against that, given your current state of weakness," the nurse advised softly. She seemed very interested in my body, trotting around me and inspecting me very closely.

"Never seen a human before, eh?" I chuckled, earning another blush from the pegasus. The milkmare returned to my side and hugged me, smiling warmly again.

"Mmmh, I'm so glad you're okay now, Michael," she cooed softly to me.

"Love you, too, babe -- umm, can I have something to drink?" I asked aloud.

"Waiter, fetch him a 'Slosh, ASAP!" Guinness barked. "Sorry about that, Michael -- I should have stopped him before he brought you a glass of water. Is that stuff poisonous to you?"

"It was my fault to ask for water in the first place, sir. I am deeply sorry to have caused so much trouble in here," I replied. If I had been a pony at this point, my ears would have been lowered, but as a human I tried to speak as respectfully as possible. The nurse finished her examination just as the medical team reached the door. She met with them and had a brief conversation before they left, grumbling about having been rushed to a non-life-threatening scenario.

"That's quite all right, Michael -- no harm done, I think. What were you eating? I'll have another plate brought to you," the pub owner offered warmly.

"I think I was eating some burnt grilled cheese sandwiches -- very tasty, those -- and a house salad -- what's your secret recipe for the dressing? It's really good!"

Guinness chuckled. "Sorry, Michael -- can't give out the secret recipe! Then it wouldn't be a secret, and other pubs might offer the same thing. I can't have that, it'd ruin my business! You know that, don't you?"

"Sorry I asked, but the dressing is a perfect complement to the salad -- the mix of greens along with the tangy and slightly sweet dressing ranks it among the best tasting salads I've ever eaten -- and trust me, I've eaten quite a lot of salad over my 50 years," I replied with a smile.

"Well, I'm glad you like our food -- be sure to tell everypony you know and meet," he noted. The waiter returned with a mug of the house ale, which I took and drained quickly.

"Mmmh, that hit the spot -- I wonder how you manage to keep the foam on the bottom," I mused.

"Our house ale is a secret recipe as well -- we have a unicorn beer tapper who pours it upside-down into the glass, allowing the foam to remain on the bottom," Guinness admitted.

"Ummm, how about a little of my milk, Michael? I, ummm, kinda need to be milked again," the milkmare offered, grinning sheepishly.

"And we're nowhere near your apartment -- I dunno if I'm ready to turn back into a stallion yet," I replied, earning a glare of disapproval from the mare. "I was wondering what kind of reaction that would elicit from you," I said, addressing the milkmare directly. Her eyes went wide with fear again. "Relax, Milky Way, I'm gonna give you another chance to prove your love to me -- but I'm not thirsty for your milk right now. Maybe later, or perhaps Discord might be interested in buying some more of it from you," I added.

"It makes my stomach hurt each time he does that -- at first, it felt kinda good, but now -- well, the last time he took my milk, it hurt," the mare observed. I knelt at her right side and wrapped my arms around her, cooing softly in her ears.

"It's gonna be all right, my love -- I'll keep you safe from him," I said softly. "If you need me to milk you, I'll lay on the floor again."

The weird sound of a zipper announced the arrival of the chaos entity once again and upon seeing me, he chuckled. "So, you've turned back into a human -- now, how exactly do you propose to keep your mare safe from me?"

"I might have a little discussion with Princess Celestia and inform her that you're violating the terms of your probation," I noted firmly, eliciting a gasp of mock horror from the draconequus.

"No! You wouldn't do that, would you?" he asked sarcastically. "What do you think she could do to me?"

"I suspect it was rather uncomfortable being a statue, wasn't it?" I grinned, causing him to frown.

"No, it wasn't -- but tell me this: how do you propose to turn me back into a statue when you don't even have the Elements of Harmony around to do that?"

"A Medusa head, or a cockatrice attack, or maybe having a basilisk or catoblepas stare at you," I replied nonchalantly.

"Umm, perhaps I should respect the terms of my release -- you're too smart for your own good, and mark my words: one of these days, you're going to need my help."

"You've already helped us out a few times, Discord -- and for that, I'm grateful. But perhaps if you were more gentle when you take milk from my mare, and not hurt her as badly as you do --"

"Oh, is that all? I'm sorry, Milky Way, I was just trying to make it quick -- I had no idea that milking you so rapidly caused you pain. I promise to be more gentle whenever I need your milk -- and speaking of which, I just remembered I needed more from you!" he chortled, then proceeded to drain the milkmare dry again, but much more gently this time.

"How's it feel now?" I asked as I rubbed her belly, just lightly brushing her teats very softly.

"Mmmmmmmh, goooood," she cooed softly.

"Thank you once again, Milky Way! Here's another satchel of bits for you," Discord declared, leaving a fairly big bag of coins behind as he disappeared.

"Would you be kind enough to share your wealth with us?" asked Guinness. "I own this establishment and I frown upon personal business of that sort being conducted in my pub. I hope ten per cent is not too much to ask as a commission fee."

The words weren't even two seconds out of his mouth when another bag of coins appeared right in front of him with a note attached. He picked it up and read it, a big smile coming to his face.

"What I said before -- never mind, looks like I've been given my commission by Discord," he grinned, hefting the bag onto his back and trotting to the kitchen. "Oh, and don't worry about paying for your meals -- this is more than enough to cover that as well!" he added as he glanced over his left shoulder at us, still grinning at the amount of coins he had been given.

"Um, Michael? Have you had enough to eat or drink? Do you think it's time for us to head back home?" asked the milkmare, another hopeful look on her face. I looked down at my body, noticing my nudity and frowned.

"I don't mind trotting around naked as a stallion, but as a human, I'm a bit self-conscious about running around with no clothes on. Perhaps if Discord could provide me with some clothing, it wouldn't be so bad," I commented, perhaps a bit more loudly than I should have. The draconequus returned immediately and grinned at me. He was wearing a red velvet smoking jacket and had a long black cigarette holder in his mouth, a lit cigarette being held in it.

"Something I can do for you, Michael?" he asked, his grin widening.

"Some clothing would be nice," I replied dryly. I formed a mental image of what I wanted.

"Don't go turning yourself into a stallion so quickly this time," he stated, waving his lion's paw at me, whereupon I was dressed in my navy blue polyester slacks, my black and white Brooklyn Express shirt, and my black and white Adidas Elevation basketball shoes, a pair of white calf-high socks as well.

"Thanks again, Discord -- what about a belt? How about my wallet?" I asked.

"What do you need a wallet for? Both of those items are made of cow hide, and you know how these ponies feel about that," he replied, teleporting the requested items in front of me. I put the wallet in my left front pocket and slipped the belt through the beltloops and secured it with the buckle. "Better now?" he asked, chuckling slightly.

"Much better, thank you, Discord," I replied, smiling at him.

"Glad to be of service to you," he chortled before disappearing again.

"Is your belt really made of cow hide?" asked Milky Way, who trotted very close to me to examine it. She put her left forehoof on it, feeling the smoothness of it. "Hmm, doesn't feel like cow hide."

"That's because it's coated for protection. I apologize for using a strip of tanned cow hide to keep my pants from falling down, but -- this item came from my home world -- didn't I explain to you?"

"I don't like that fact -- I find it troubling," she replied almost apprehensively.

"I know, and I'm sorry. Please don't judge me by your standards -- how many times must I ask you that?" I asked in exasperation as she continued to frown at me. She gave a sheepish grin and reared up on her hind legs, wrapping her forelegs around my chest.

"I'm sorry, Michael -- it's just that -- I've been a pony for 22 years -- I was raised and educated as a pony -- and we have a very strong taboo against using materials of any kind from other sapient species, including cows," she explained. I lost myself gazing into her emerald eyes again and kissed her on her lips.

"Did I ever mention just how beautiful your eyes are, my love?" I asked, cooing softly into her ears.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she gave me a very wide smile and returned my kiss with renewed passion. "Mmmh, Michael -- I love you!" she chirped. "Come on, let's go home! I wanna make love to you again!"

"Mmmh, let me grab that sack of coin, love -- it's gonna be a long walk home and it's starting to get dark out already," I noted. We kissed very briefly before she let go of me and returned to her hooves. I grabbed the sack of bits and hefted it over my back, grunting with the effort. We left the pub and started making our way back to her apartment. The shoes were a big help -- I had certainly missed wearing them. Just about all the other ponies who witnessed us gawped and stared and commented loudly, causing me to glare and glower at them.

It took nearly an hour for us to reach her building, though we were shocked to see a yellow tape cordon around the entire building when we got there. Police ponies were standing guard around the building, causing me to express surprise. I walked up to one of the ponies and asked him a question.

"Um, excuse me, sir, but -- why is this building taped off?"

"The entire building is a crime scene -- somehow or other, it was moved off its foundation and slid along the ground until it reached this point. A great deal of damage was done in the process. Preliminary estimates are around two million bits," he explained. "We've been checking with the landlord to determine who might have done this -- but it would take an extremely powerful unicorn to do something this big."

"Mmmh, yes, well -- I dunno about that, but -- we're tired and we need to go in and get some sleep," I noted. Milky Way was giving me a look of wide-eyed fear and shaking her head rapidly from side to side as if to tell me to stop talking.

"Sir, we cannot allow you to contaminate a crime scene. Please find somewhere else to stay," the officer instructed flatly.

"Any suggestions?" I asked.

"How about the Horse-shoe Road Inn? They're not far from here," he offered, smiling warmly.

"Thanks!" I replied cheerfully. "And which way do we go to get there?"

"Mmmh, I'll show you the way, Michael -- I know where it is," the milkmare offered. "Sorry for the trouble, officer. We'll be going now." She turned her attention to me and glared in disapproval. "C'mon, let's get going."

"By the way, you haven't seen a purple unicorn stallion trotting around here, have you? We're on the watch for somepony matching that description," the officer requested.

"Can't say that I have, sir," I replied as I followed the milkmare who began trotting at a brisk pace away from her building.

"If you see or hear anything, please let us know."

"Yes, sir," I replied as I quickened my pace to match the mare who was now cantering double-quick away from the scene. She broke into a full gallop, forcing me to run after her, my breath coming in ragged gasps. "Milky! Slow down!" I huffed as I was forced to slow my pace to a walk, my breathing becoming labored by my effort. She continued to gallop away in a panic, not bothering to look behind her, and because I could not keep up with her, she rounded a corner about five blocks ahead of me and I lost sight of her.

"Milky!" I shouted as I tried to jog, alternately walking and half-running as I tried to remember where she had turned off. I called out her name several more times as I turned the block where I thought she had gone. It had gotten dark out now and the streetlamps only gave dim lighting to the area. I called out her name a few more times, though all I succeeded in doing was attracting the attention of a number of whorses who had begun trolling the streets looking to turn tricks. I was stunned by the similarities of the whorses in Trottingham to the prostitutes who walked the streets in the larger cities in my home world.

"Mmmh, hey, big boy, wanna give me a try? Only ten bits," an older dark red mare with bleached-blonde mane and tail chuckled, coughing and hacking a little as her attempt to speak met with her body's attempt to clear her throat. She was wearing certain clothes which were meant to appeal to stallions, but to me, she looked extremely tacky and unattractive.

"I'm looking for the milkmare," I replied tersely as I strode past her, trying to avoid physical contact with her.

"I don't know her, honey -- but I'm better than her, I can guarantee it! Fifty bits and I'll prove it!" a dark brown mare with a very curly jet black mane and tail chirped as she swished her tail against my legs.

"Ugh! My love is only for the milkmare!" I groaned as I continued pressing my way forward, shoving a number of the more insistent whorses away from me, each of them vying for my attention, one of them trying to wrap herself around me.

"Get OFF ME!" I shouted at her, pushing her away firmly with my left hand. I carried the sack of bits in my right, hefted over my shoulder, which is most likely why the whorses wanted my attention. I trotted a bit further along and noticed a building which looked like a hotel, so I entered to find a rather seedy-looking tan stallion behind the check-in desk -- which had chicken-wire running from the top of the desk to the ceiling and a small cut-out area, presumably for the passage of bits for keys.

"How much for a room, sir?" I asked him.

"You wanna rent it for an hour, or four? Or do ya want the entire night?" he asked, flashing me a sly grin. I grimaced in disappointment, or perhaps out of anger.

"This must be a sex hotel," I muttered, though loudly enough for him to hear it.

"Yep, that's right, pardner. Ten bits for an hour, twenty bits for four hours, or fifty bits for a night. Check-out's at nine AM, pardner!"

I sat the sack of bits on the floor and fished out what I thought was fifty bits, placing it on the counter. The clerk let out a low whistle when he saw the coins, snatching them quickly and sliding a key through the slot.

"Room 517, fifth floor, but the elevator's broken. The showers don't work, either," he noted. "And NO SMOKING! I don't care what else you do in there," he added.

"Thanks," I grunted as I hefted the sack of bits over my shoulder, taking the key and making my way to the stairs. Climbing the stairs was quite a chore and after about the third floor, I stopped to rest for a moment. A couple of burly stallions came charging down the stairs and hoisted me up against the wall of the staircase, a third stallion grabbing the sack of coin and trotting off with it.

"HEY! PUT THAT DOWN! THAT'S MY BAG!" I shouted at the retreating stallion. I kicked the nearest one holding me in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. The other one wasn't quite strong enough to hold me up, but he retaliated by punching me in the gut with his left forehoof. I doubled over in pain, clutching my belly with my hands as the first stallion brought his entire weight down on my back, causing me to buckle to the floor in extreme pain. The two stallions proceeded to beat me into unconsciousness, breaking a number of my ribs, puncturing a lung, and breaking my left tibia for good measure. They then dragged my body down the stairs and tossed me into the street in front of the hotel.

"I've gotta get away from the cops! I can't have them thinking I was responsible for moving my building! Damn you, Amethyst! Why did you have to do that!" the milkmare muttered to herself as she galloped as fast as she could. "Michael, come on! Keep up with me!" she shouted as she continued to gallop towards her destination. She had looked over her left shoulder once to see me behind her, but quite a ways back. She rounded a corner and waited for me to catch up, but after waiting for what seemed like about five minutes, her fear got the better of her and she renewed her fevered attempt to get away from the police.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I have been so careless?" she asked herself as she continued to gallop as fast as she could, reaching the Horse-shoe Road Inn in less than five minutes. She slowed her pace to a trot and looked around for me, trotting around the inn a few times to see if I was on my way. Unfortunately for her, I was two blocks south of her and six blocks east, trying to push my way out of a throng of whorses.

"Michael! It's getting dark! I'm going into the hotel!" she shouted as loudly as she could. She waited a few more minutes as Celestia put her Sun away for the night and trotted into the hotel.

"Umm, how much is a room for the night?" she asked the clerk, who immediately recognized her.

"For you, ma'am, it's on us! Here you go," he smiled, hoofing her a key for a first-floor room.

"Thank you so much! I would offer you some milk, but I don't have any right now," she responded softly, taking the key and trotting to the room.

"I'm hoping you'll offer me a little something more than your milk," he muttered under his breath as he watched her trot, staring intently at her hindquarters as she sauntered to the room. Upon entering, she closed and locked the door behind her and lay on her belly across the bed, hoping that I'd be able to find her. She lay awake until her fatigue overtook her, though she tossed and turned all night long as I was nowhere near to provide her with the comfort she craved.