The Element of Chaos

Discord had always assumed that there was only one kind of chaos – the good kind. The kind that ended with people yelling at each other and possibly screaming in terror of ridiculous creatures. There was no possible way to describe how very much he enjoyed this type of chaos. He would bask in it. It was his pride and joy. His favorite form of entertainment. What he did not realize in all his years, however, was that there was another kind of chaos. An unpleasant nasty kind of chaos that made him want to pull off all the skin on his body and dive into a pit of lava in order to escape. The chaos of a bakery during the after school rush.

“Can I have three snickerdoodles please?” “I’ll take a chocolate éclair.” “I want a dozen candy blast cupcakes.” For nearly an hour, there was nothing but serving customer after demanding customer. While he tried his best to serve the customers in his line, Pinkie rushed back and forth from the kitchen to the front counter, serving the customers in her line, baking, taking orders, and giving Discord small looks of encouragement right after he bungled another order.  But he didn’t want encouragement. He wanted to burn the entire chaos-forsaken bakery down! And why didn’t he? Why did he put up with all the annoying, loudmouthed, and altogether rude customers before him? No one would know it was him.  Who would blame the new bakeboy if the whole bakery just suddenly decided to spontaneously combust? No one. Not one single person would point their finger at the weird gray kid in a pink apron who could barely give the right cupcake to the right patron. And he could do it too. Just a snap of his fingers would set the whole place ablaze. A small smirk graced his face as he imagined the screams. Ah yes, it would be absolutely brilliant! Why don’t I do it? he thought with some surprise.

“Here you go Ditzy! One dozen blueberry muffins fresh out of the oven,” said an overly chipper Pinkie as she came out of the kitchen. “Can I get you anything else?” Her cheery voice completely shattered any and all thoughts he had of magical arson. Burning down the bakery would make Pinkie sad, and for some inexplicable reason, he didn’t like the thought of that. Stupid friendship making him do stupid things he didn’t want to do. Don’t worry Discord, he thought to himself. Once you corrupt the elements you’ll be able to burn down all the bakeries you want. And Pinkie will be so distracted by the wonders of chaos that she won’t have time to be sad. Just be patient.

At last there was only one customer left. “Can I get a one of those banana chocolate whatchamacallits?”

Discord gave the very rotund old man before him an annoyed look. “Are you talking about the cupcakes, muffins, cookies, Danishes, scones, or éclairs?” he asked.

“Hmmm….” The man looked down at the display case. “I’m not sure. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Yes actually,” Discord replied. “You should save the money you were going to spend in this bakery and invest in a treadmill.”

“Excuse me!”

“Or possibly a stationary bike,” Discord continued ignoring the look of rage on the customer’s face. “Either one would do the trick really.”

“Discord!” Pinkie screeched in alarm having just overheard the conversation as she left the kitchen. “I know you’re stressed, but you can’t speak to customers that way!” she said as she placed a freshly baked batch of scones in the display case. She turned to the old man. “I’m sorry sir! Please have a free cupcake on us! Any kind you’d like.”

“Do you have any chocolate banana cupcakes?” the old man said, hopefully.

Pinkie grinned. “Of course!” She handed him a chocolate colored cupcake with yellow frosting from the display. “Have a nice day!” She gave Discord a very pointed look as the man left the bakery.

“What?” he said indignantly. “I was trying to do the man a favor! That weight can’t be healthy at his age.”

“That is not the point Discord and you know it,” Pinkie sighed and shook her head. The disappointed look in her eyes as she went back into the kitchen made Discord frown.

“But Pinkie!” Discord whined, following her. “The man was being ridiculous!”

“No he wasn’t,” Pinkie said, placing the dirty dishes in the sink and grabbing a large clean bowl. “And even if he was, you’re supposed to always be polite to customers. Otherwise people wouldn’t come to the bakery anymore and the Cakes and I would be kicked out of our home and we would have to in a cardboard box in an alleyway somewhere. Or worse! We would have to live at the rock farm!” She plopped a bag of flour on the table. “Not that there’s anything wrong with the farm, but it’s so far away! I mean, miles and miles away. I would hardly ever get to see any of my friends anymore!” She reached into a cupboard and pulled out a bag of sugar. “But it’s all okay now because you’re sorry and won’t ever insult a customer again right?” She moved closer to him, holding the bag of sugar as if she might throw it at him if he gave the wrong answer. “Right?” she asked again.

“Er…yes?” Discord replied.

Pinkie grinned. “Good!” She placed the sugar on the table.  “Come on,” she said, motioning for him to stand next to her at the table. “I think I baked enough goodies to last the rest of the day, so we should experiment with some new cupcake recipes while the shop’s empty.” Pinkie looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Hmmm….now what kind of cupcakes should we try to make?”

“You mentioned cotton candy earlier,” Discord said rather halfheartedly. He would never admit it, but he felt a bit bad about making Pinkie upset.

“Yeah, but I’m not quite sure if that would work,” Pinkie replied. “Cotton Candy melts really easily and I don’t think the flavor will hold up while baking. Do you have any other ideas?” She asked as she began to get out more generic cupcake ingredients.

“Not really.” He snapped his fingers and a glass appeared in front of him. Ah. Chocolate milk. His cure all for bad feelings. That would get rid of that unpleasant feeling deep inside his belly. He took a sip and immediately spat it back out. “That is not chocolate milk!” he shouted.

Pinkie grabbed the glass and looked curiously at the bubbly brown liquid inside. She took a cautious sip. “You’re right!” She smiled. “It’s root beer!” She guzzled the drink down and slammed the glass on the table with a satisfied sigh. “I loooovee root beer!”

“Maybe you should make a root beer cupcake then,” Discord grumbled, upset that he hadn’t gotten his chocolate milk. He was about to snap his fingers and try again, when Pinkie suddenly threw her arms into the air dramatically almost hitting Discord in the head. “That’s brilliant!” She screamed.

“I was kidding Pinkie,” Discord said, moving her arm so it would no longer be in danger of giving him a black eye if she decided to shout something again.

“We could make a whole line of soda pop flavored cupcakes!” she continued, ignoring him.  “It’ll be the most delicious thing in the entire world!”

“If you say so,” Discord said with a raised brow. Soda flavored cupcakes did not sound good in the slightest to him, and he was a little confused on how it could possibly sound good to her. But then again, this was Pinkie. She was the girl who thought putting hot sauce in a cupcake was a good idea.

“Now if only I could find a strong, powerful chaos master to conjure up a few soda pop flavorings for me.” She sidled up to Discord and fluttered her long eyelashes at him.

He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. Several small bottles containing different concentrated soda pop flavorings appeared on the table. Pinkie clapped her hands. “YAY! Thanks Dizzy! This is going to be awesome!”