Dozens of colorful disembodied penises gathered around Ponyville's Town Hall, jumping up and down and muttering anxiously and angrily.

Above the crowd, a lavender penis with wings and a unicorn horn stood behind a podium. This penis was flanked by a white penis with a horn, a pink penis, a blue penis and a butter yellow penis with wings, and an orange penis wearing a brown Stetson, as well as three other penises with wings and horns: one pink, one white, and one dark blue.

"Okay everypenis, quiet down and listen up!" the lavender penis said in the voice of Twilight Sparkle. "I know you're all confused...I accidentally turned everypony in Equestria into a penis. I'm really sorry, and I'm working on a way to fix it! Just...just stay calm, everypenis!"

"Are you serious?" a cream-colored earth penis demanded.

"And you all complain about MY screwing up!" a grey penisus said.

"The horror! The HORROR!" the penis formerly known as Daisy cried before fainting.

"Ahem," the white penicorn began, "is there any chance of you clearing this up before I'm forced to design an entirely new fashion line based on...ugh...condoms?"

"I'm working on it, Rarity," Twilight promised.

"Twilight," Cadance said patiently, "you know I love you, right? But I've gotta say...you're kind of a dick."

"I agree," Luna said. "This is a dick move, Twilight Sparkle."

"How did this even happen, Twilight?" Celestia asked.

"Uhh...would you believe I was...dreaming about Flash Sentry?"

Everypenis tried to facehoof...but of course, couldn't.

* * * * *

"The GREAT! and POWERFUL! PRRRRRRIXIE! Is the biggest penis in all of Dickquestria!"

"Umm...I'm an inch longer than you," Fluttershy said testily.

"PROVE it!"

"Take off your hat."

"...Prixie refuses."

* * * * *

"So...how do I get harder?" Rainbow Dash wondered. "I need to be about twenty percent harder."

Author's Note

This is NOT what I originally had planned for the 100th Pony Fail.

But I like it better. And it was easier to pull off.