Pony Fails

The Rainbooms sat in Fluttershy's living room watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Rainbow scratched her head. "Y'know, I don't get why Donny thinks he's got a shot with April. I mean, even if she was into, y'know, mutants...it's not like they could ever, y'know..." She made a few very lewd hand gestures. "Bom-chika-bow-wow."

"RAINBOW! Eww!" Pinkie cried, giggling.

"Well it's true!" Rainbow said, gesturing at the screen. "I mean, he's butt nekkid, and there's no...anything there!"

Fluttershy blushed furiously. "Umm...actually..."

The others turned to her. She ducked low in her seat.

"I-it's just...well...turtles do have, umm...that."

"Seriously?" Rainbow asked. "Cuz I've never seen one on Tank."

"Yes, they do have them," Fluttershy insisted. "They're just...hidden away most of the time."

"But surely they must be...ahem...rather small in comparison," Rarity said, covering her mouth with a dainty hand.

"Oh, goodness, no," Fluttershy said, her face turning even more red. "In fact, if...if April ever saw, umm...that...it would probably traumatize the poor girl."

The others leaned forward with interest. "Seriously?" Sunset asked.

"Whoa, how big are we talkin' here?" Rainbow wondered.

Fluttershy let out an embarrassed squeak.

"Come on, girl, spill!" Pinkie said, grinning excitedly.

"Oh...please don't ask...it's too embarrassing..."

"Oh, come on! Don't leave us hangin'!"

"Well..." Fluttershy gulped, then walked over to the living room closet. She rummaged around inside and, after a moment, produced a vacuum cleaner hose. Her face furiously scarlet, she walked into the center of the room, grasped one end of the hose between her thighs, then stretched the hose out to its full length and held it in trembling hands.

The others stared at her, eyes wide.

"No freakin' WAY," Rainbow said.

Sunset hurriedly pulled her laptop out of her bag and did a quick Internet search. Her eyes nearly fell out of her head. "Oh my GOD," she said.

Fluttershy quickly put the vacuum hose away and sat down, pressing her skirt firmly against her legs.

Pinkie Pie looked over Sunset's shoulder, then back at the TV. "OUCH," she said.

The girls all squeezed their legs tight and squirmed. "Umm...want me to change the channel?" Rainbow asked.

"YES, PLEASE," the others all shouted.

Rainbow picked up the remote and changed the channel...

A Gamera movie appeared on the screen.

The girls all screamed and fled the house.