Pony Fails

Twilight Sparkle appeared in the private office of the President of the United States in a bright flash of light. "Good afternoon, Mr. President," she said.

Barack Obama turned to face his visitor. "Good afternoon, Princess Twilight," he said. "I haven't seen you in a while. You missed the turkey pardoning ceremony."

"I had a previous engagement," Twilight said. "I hear you're having a bit of trouble lately."

"No, not really...everything's fine..."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "A town in the heart of your country has collapsed into civil disarray, there are protests everywhere, you're constantly barraged by threats from terrorist groups, and you're being sued by your own government."

"Well, yes, but other than that, everything's fine!"

"Uh-huh." Twilight frowned. "Well...in any case, I came to ask you something else entirely." She looked President Obama straight in the eye. "Do you like peaches?"

President Obama blinked, but nodded. "Of course. Peaches are a noble fruit. Peaches are the cornerstone of the South. If any fruit embodies the spirit of America, it's the Georgia peach."

Twilight grinned. "I'm so glad you said that..."

Several minutes later, Twilight left the White House, undisturbed by the Secret Service, eating a large, juicy peach.

If anyone noticed that the peach was wriggling, or that it could faintly be heard screaming, they said nothing.