Pony Fails

A warm, muggy summer night...

Crickets chirped. In the distance, owls hooted softly. Applejack was up late watching television, wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt. After all, it was just her and Apple Bloom; Big Mac and Granny Smith were gone for the week. It was just too humid and too hot to bother with pajamas or underwear.

The doorbell rang. Frowning, Applejack got up off the couch and headed for the door, taking a moment to tug down on the hem of her T-shirt to make sure her privates were fully covered. She unlocked and opened the door...

The Soup Nazi stood on her porch, wearing nothing but thick, dark body hair and a huge smile. "PENIS FOR YOU!" he greeted boisterously.

Applejack's eyebrow twitched. She reached into the hats, bows, and shotguns closet next to the front door, pulled out her trusty twelve gauge, pumped it once, and unloaded a shell right into the Soup Nazi's groin. "No penis for you," she said. She slammed and locked the door, put away the shotgun, and went back to watching television.