A cute, perky girl in her late teens, with deep blue eyes, long honey brown hair, and a generous chest, wearing an elaborate white dress with blue trim, stands next to a magical portal overlooking Equestria at various points throughout its recent history.

"Hello, everyone! My name is Nanoha, and I'm here to tell you why Twilight Sparkle and her friends have been using their magic of friendship the wrong way since the very beginning of the series!

"First, let's take a look at when they defeated Nightmare Moon. See that rainbow tornado thing they did? It's pretty and all, and I guess it kinda worked, but it didn't really do what it should've done. Here's how I, the expert on achieving friendship through defeat, would have done it!"

Nanoha steps through the portal, which ripples as she descends into the ruins of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, landing in between the six mares from Ponyville and Nightmare Moon.

"RAISING HEART!"

Stand by ready.

"DIVINE BUSTER!"

Divine Buster.

"What--?" Twilight asks.

An enormous pink magical explosion engulfs Nightmare Moon...destroying more than half the castle in the process. When the smoke clears, Luna is lying unconscious at the bottom of a deep crater.

Nanoha jumps down into the crater and holds out a hand to Luna. "Wanna be friends?"

Luna opens her eyes...and cowers fearfully. "Y-yes...fr-friends...we-we're f-friends now...don't h-hurt me..."

Nanoha smiles brightly. "See? Friendship achieved! Now, let's move on."

Nanoha is standing in front of the portal again. This time, it shows Discord. "Discord's a tough customer. I don't think I like him very much. But I'm willing to be his friend anyway." Nanoha steps through the portal again...

"STARLIGHT BREAKER!"

Starlight Breaker.

The corrupted Ponyville explodes in a giant pink mushroom cloud. When the smoke clears, Discord is wrapped around Nanoha's arm, picking flowers for her.

"Friendship achieved! Let's see...who's next?"

Nanoha appears in Canterlot during the Changeling invasion.

"DIVINE BUSTER!"

Divine Buster.

Canterlot slides off the side of the mountain and crashes into the valley below. Chrysalis exchanges cell phone numbers with Nanoha.

"Friendship achieved!"

Nanoha appears in the frozen northern wastes. Sombra leers down at her.

"DIVINE BUSTER!"

Divine Buster.

Half the tundra melts into a gooey puddle. Sombra gives Nanoha a pair of bright, shining crystal earrings and blushes like a kid with a crush.

"Friendship achieved!"

Nanoha appears in Ponyville, facing down the corrupted Trixie.

"STARLIGHT BREAKER!"

Starlight Breaker.

Ponyville goes bye-bye. Again. So does Trixie.

"Oops. I guess I befriended her a little too hard... Oh well!"

Nanoha appears in between Twilight Sparkle and Tirek.

"Wait! Don't! I've got this, really!" Twilight shrieks.

"Nope! I'm gonna make a new friend today! PHOTON SMASHER!"

Photon Smasher.

The entire area is engulfed in blinding pink magic. A shockwave spreads out from the impact point, obliterating half of Equestria. When normal vision is possible again and the smoke and dust have cleared, a shriveled Tirek is drawing Nanoha's name in the scorched earth over and over again.

Nanoha smiles cutely. "See? That's how you make friends! Not with silly rainbows and friendship lessons, but with raw destructive force!"

Twilight lands next to Nanoha. "You need therapy."

Author's Note

Disclaimer: It's been years since I last watched Nanoha and I never watched past A's.