Pony Fails

Cranky Doodle Donkey opened his front door to find the perky pink party pony, Pinkie Pie, pronking in place on his doorstep. "Hello, Pinkie," he said.

"Hi Cranky!" Pinkie said. "Come with me, I've got something to show you!"

"Uhh...no thanks," Cranky said. "I don't really feel like going out right now..."

"But Matilda's already seen it and she loves it!"

Cranky rubbed his chin with his hoof, then sighed and shrugged. "Alright, let's go."

Pinkie led Cranky through the streets of Ponyville, out past the cow houses, out into the open pasture that lay beyond the edge of town. "Uhh, Pinkie...what exactly is it you wanted to show me?"

Pinkie turned and gave him a strange, half-lidded look. "My ass hole," she said.

Cranky blinked, stopping still, his knees locked. "Wh-what? Pinkie..."

"C'mon, donkey! Giddy up!" Pinkie exclaimed cheerfully. Before Cranky knew it, he'd been loaded onto a flatbed wagon. Pinkie hitched herself up to it, whinnied, and took off running.

"Pinkie, waaaaaaait!"

"No time!" Pinkie called. The wagon sped through the scenery, past increasingly sparse grasses, into the rockier terrain to the south of Canterlot. After almost an hour, she stopped, making a sudden sharp turn that swung the wagon around. Cranky reeled as he was nearly thrown from the wagon.

"Pinkie, watch out--wait, what are you--aaaaaah!"

Pinkie gave the wagon a sharp buck, which launched Cranky into the air. His eyes widened as he fell into a deep, rocky pit. He landed with a loud thump on dusty, rocky ground. With a groan, he looked around.

A dozen other donkeys and one mule were milling around in a twenty-foot-deep hole. There were piles of hay, cotton mattresses, and a buffet table loaded with cupcakes and treats and punch. In the middle of it all was a big pink sign that said:

WELCOME TO PINKIE'S ASS HOLE!

"She got you too, huh?" Matilda asked from behind Cranky.

Cranky sighed.

"Hey, at least there's cake," Matilda said.