Pony Fails

"Good news, girls!" Sonata exclaimed as she bounded into the Dazzlings' apartment. "I got us new jobs!"

"Ugh. The J-word," Aria said. "No thanks. I'd rather pluck myself bald with a pair of pliers than work at Taco Banana or whatever lame place you've picked."

"No, not THAT kind of job!" Sonata said. "The kind where we don't have to do anything at all!"

Adagio looked up from filing her nails. "Okay, I'll bite. What kind of jobs?"

"We're gonna be RAP HOES!" Sonata yelled cheerfully, throwing her arms into the air and beaming.

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Ex...cuse me?"

"You know, rap hoes! Those girls in rap videos that just have to stand around looking good in skanky clothes!" Sonata said, putting a hand on her hip. "Which is pretty much what we do all day every day anyway!"

Adagio and Aria looked at one another.

"Yeah, but...when we do it on our own, we do it because that's who we are," Adagio said. "This whole business of calling ourselves 'hoes' sounds...degrading."

Sonata held up a ring with twenty-five diamonds arranged in a 5x5 grid on it. "How's this for degrading?"

"Let me see that," Aria exclaimed, snatching the ring from Sonata. She examined it, frowning. "Hmm."

"Look, all we have to do is show up looking sexy, stand around while they shoot a video or whatever, collect our pay, and leave!" Sonata said. "I mean...what could be simpler than that?"

Adagio and Aria looked at one another. Aria shrugged. Adagio frowned. "Okay. We'll try it."

"Yay!" Sonata exclaimed.

"So...who are we hoing for?" Aria asked.

"Only the best rappers in Canterlot!" Sonata cried, pumping her fists.

* * * * *

"Yo I'm MC Snails, and I like whales! When I go to the beach, I always bring my pails!"

Adagio's left eye twitched.

Aria ground her teeth.

Sonata bounced up and down giddily.

"Sonata," Aria said slowly, "you. Are. The. WORST."