New Life Plus

New Life Plus

By Hedzentails

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Level Two
Stare Eye(s)

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You know earlier when I said you could skip a little further in?

You can stop skipping now. This part is kind of interesting.

So there I was, charging into battle on nothing but incredible levels of adrenaline and slightly wet pants and wielding nothing but a sword that could barely even be called a sword at that size; a slightly larger-than-average dagger would’ve been a better name by my standards.

Anyway, the Eye didn’t seem to notice me as I screamed at the top of my lungs and waved a giant kitchen-knife around in the air. That usually meant things were going well. Of course, a few of the guards fighting it seemed to notice me just fine.

“Look!” yelled one of them, pointing at me as I came closer. “That thing came from the castle! Princess Twilight must have found a great warrior to help us!”

I still hate that guy to this day.

The Eye of Cthulu seemed to think I was now a much bigger threat than the very large amount of guards attacking it, so it turned its horrifying and evil gaze onto me instead. That seemed to snap me out of the crazed state I was in, making me skid to a halt before it blotted out the sky above me completely.

To describe what I was feeling, imagine the scariest thing you’ve ever seen locking the door to your bedroom with a box of flesh-eating maggots and condoms in its hands. That’s pretty much what I was feeling and I’m pretty sure my trousers would be dryer in a shower.

I’d had a lot to drink that day.

“H-hello,” I stammered up at it, going weak at the knees and drooping in terrified defeat. “D-do you m-mind… not sp-spreading terror and p-p-panic? I-I’d really hate t-to… have to f-fight you…”

Before you say anything, Fluttershy was apparently curled up under her bed and shaking up an earthquake that day, so I did pretty well.

Its only response to my very polite request was to rudely summon more Servants to attack me.

My only response to that was to do the thing that came naturally; scream in terror and start flailing my ‘sword’ again. I think I felt some squidgy bits of pixelated gore hit me as I hit a few of those things in my second blind fit of panic of the day. Seriously, their exploded bits were pixelated in such a way that it almost made them sharp.

Strangely, I didn’t feel the painful death I was expecting the Eye to deliver immediately, so I decided to investigate a little.

I managed to pluck up the courage to open one eye to chance a peek at the giant Eye and saw that he was just lazily rotating around above me. The first thing I thought was that I’d somehow beaten him by waving a pony sword at him enough. I threw my arms up in the air and cheered loudly for myself.

“Yeah!” I cried happily. “I beat you by not even killing you! Go me!”

The second thing that I thought of made me realise that Terraria bosses only ever get beaten when they explode into pixelated, bloody bits and that cheering on the spot wasn’t a good idea at all.

I could barely even move before he surged directly towards me like he did after spinning around you in the game for a while after spawning some Servants of Cthulu. The annoying thing was that he didn’t just go past me and through the ground, he actually made physical contact with me.

Physical contact meaning that he actually squashed me against the ground faster than you could say ‘stop staring’.

As you can expect of someone getting crushed, I screamed in agony for the five milliseconds that I actually had the ability to and then I snapped upright from the bed I suddenly found myself in.

“Ow?” I said in a very confused way. I started patting myself down to make sure I still existed in the physical plain. “Am I dead?”

When I received no reply from the voice of my own conscience, I decided to get up and explore a little. I took the bedsheet with me to cover myself up with – clothes couldn’t come with you when you died apparently – and headed over to the only door I could see.

Before I could open it, however, someone behind me managed to stop me before I opened it and potentially exposed myself to a LOT of people.

“Karen?!” Twilight Sparkle yelled at me disbelievingly.

Surprisingly, that voice was one that I REALLY hoped was just a figment of my insanity at that point.

“Yeees?” I replied slowly, making sure I took a really long time to turn around to brace myself for whatever horrors that awaited me, and ‘horrors’ was just a TINY exaggeration.

“What are you doing back here?!” yelled the non-imagined alicorn princess furiously. “I thought you went out to help slay that monster!! Did you come back in here to hide?! What happened to your armour?!”

Which reminded me of my present condition.

“Um…” I whispered nervously. “W-would you mind… letting me get into some clothes please?”

“Why?” she asked, mood switching from anger to confusion suddenly. “We don’t normally wear clothes here.”

Which then brought a slightly disturbing thought into my mind that there were now two almost completely naked females in the same room as each other.

You might not really care about that a lot, but I was pretty shy about being seeing naked by anyone.

And some of the fanfics I’d read really didn’t make things better.

I WAS BORED AND THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE TO DO DON’T JUDGE ME FOR THAT.

“Yeeeah out now,” was all I said as I crossed the room in pretty much the blink of an eye to start sliding her across the floor on her rump towards the door. I’d practiced on my dog when he didn’t want to have a bath on the smooth floors back home so I’d gotten pretty good at that.

I think she was still trying to comprehend what’d just happened when I slammed the door behind her after pushing her out.

Fortunately, she didn’t come back in at all, so I began ransacking what I soon found out was Twilight’s bedroom for something to wear without having to worry even more. It didn’t take long considering ponies don’t wear stuff often and she wasn’t exactly the craziest about fashion; there was only one wardrobe in the entire room.

Normally I would’ve just gone for a shirt and trousers when I needed to get dressed quick, but she didn’t normally wear trousers either. So I went with something that probably wasn’t the best thing to wear in a time of crisis, especially since I was probably going to have to be the one to resolve it, but something that I thought looked nice and I just wanted to see how I’d look in it.

Granted, I wasn’t having my coronation day as a princess, but it still looked amazing on me. I still need to ask if I can keep it.

F*$! you I do what I want.

After about ten minutes of squeezing into Twilight’s coronation dress, I poked my head out the door of the bedroom to see if Twilight was still waiting. Luckily for me she was because I wouldn’t have had a clue who to go talk to next.

“Oh good, you’re done!” she said, yanking me through the door with her magic. She stared at what I was wearing for a few seconds before asking the obvious. “Why are you wearing my dress?”

“Shut up I’m a great warrior from another universe and I can wear what I like!” I replied loudly, trying to make myself look more fearsome by standing in a dramatic pose.

She didn’t buy it.

“Whatever!” she shouted. “Can we just focus on the monster attacking Ponyville please?!”

“Right,” I said, snapping back into things. I quickly came up with a plan that probably wouldn’t go absolutely terribly. “I need a sword! Bigger than last time though, that thing was a butter knife.”

She rolled her eyes and yelled for a guard to bring a big sword while I tried thinking up what else I’d need. I didn’t think I’d be needing a large flat platform seeing as the Eye of Cthulu didn’t seem to obey Terraria physics, but I did know some other things that might work.

“Ooh!” I yelled quickly. “I also need lots and lots of shurikens!”

“What?!” yelled Twilight again. “Why do you need throwing stars?! Wouldn’t a bow and arrow be better?!”

“Bows don’t work well on this guy,” I explained quickly. “You’ve got more chance of losing arrows but shurikens kill his minions and then hit him right after.”

She stared at me like I was crazy, but she didn’t question my logic or the video game physics behind it.

“Alright…” she agreed unsurely. She shouted at another guard to get as many shurikens as he could get.

I honestly still can’t understand why they would even have those things in their armouries when they don’t even have fingers.

“Here’s the sword you asked for, princess!” barked the guard who’d gone to do that, making me jump so much I thought I’d respawn again in a second. He unsheathed the greatsword – by their standards, I’d assume – from the sheath on his back.

How hard he pulled it out and slammed it into the ground made his hat fall off and the sudden unexplainable breeze sent his loose mane flowing to one side. Ever seen a guy holding a giant sword with his hair waving in the breeze? Yes, he wasn’t human, but he still looked pretty awesome.

I actually have Rainbow Dash’s agreement on that, so shut up.

I picked up his hat and, despite the almost-insatiable urge to just keep it for myself, offered it back to him. He stabbed the sword into the ground, another feat of awesomeness considering he stood on his back legs to do it, before shaking his head at me.

“You keep it,” he said, pushing it back towards my stomach. “You’ll need it fighting that thing more than I will for keeping the rest of Ponyville safe.”

I was seriously wondering how Twilight hadn’t just tackled him to the ground and asked to marry him yet. I will admit it, I kind of was thinking that myself at the time, but he lived in a completely different universe to me and I just knew he was probably already in a relationship with somepony else anyway.

Besides, he was probably a nameless soldier that’d die like in all video games-

“Thank you, Shieldheart,” Twilight said nonchalantly, nodding at him with another eye-rolling.

-was what I was hoping so I wouldn’t have to get too emotionally attached to him so it’d be a lot easier if he died.

He’s going to die. I bet my life on it. With no respawns.

People like him usually die to make you feel better about beating the game and avenging their death, don’t they?

…

Don’t they?

“I’ll need to get back to my post,” he said quickly. He gave a quick bow. “Excuse me, your highness.” He nodded at me lightly. “Good luck, ma’am.”

And then he charged back towards the building that was somehow on fire and conveniently had two little foals on the roof screaming for help.

I really want to say he merely assisted the other five guards in putting out the fire or getting the ladder up to help the foals down, but he just kicked the front door down and leapt into the raging inferno.

HE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT I JUST KNOW IT.

“That recklessness of his is really going to get him hurt one day…” Twilight commented.

“Uh huh…” I muttered in response, still staring after the mildly attractive stallion.

Hey, it should be okay to think that if they’ve got human intelligence and the ability to speak.

Mostly okay.

Shut up I’m fighting video game bosses in a fictional world I’m not thinking straight.

“Here are your shurikens, ma’am!” barked another guard, snapping me out of the trance I was in. I spun to face him and he rather unimpressively dropped a bag at my feet. “Best of luck to you!”

And then he pulled the spear off of his back, spun to face the Eye of Cthulu again and charged back into Ponyville.

Okay, if THAT generic, nameless guard hasn’t died yet, I will eat my own arm. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

“Thanks then…” I mumbled, picking up the surprisingly light bag up. I shook it to make sure it wasn’t empty, but there were definitely rattling shurikens in there. Yes, they probably did steal J.K. Rowling’s undetectable expansion charm, but J.K. is awesome and everyone should know about her stuff.

“You’ve got what you needed!” Twilight yelled, suddenly frustrated again. “Hurry up and slay that giant eyeball!”

I just barely managed to pull the sword out of the ground and put on the guard hat before I was pushed towards the Eye of Cthulu again. As you can expect, the sword was pretty heavy. The other stuff wasn’t as bad and I did not regret my choice of attire in any way at all. I could get around really easily in that dress.

I’d just have to ask Rarity to make some adjustments and I could have the perfect dress for formal get-togethers.

Sorry, irrelevant, moving on.

Like you’d normally do when fighting the Eye of Cthulu, I just started hurling as many shurikens as possible at him. Literally JUST hurling them at him; I’d grab one out of the bag and just throw it at him like you’d throw a ball for your dog. The funny part about that was they actually spun enough to shift into the way a shuriken is supposed to be thrown.

Video game physics seemed to be on my side at that point.

Unfortunately, and for the second time, Cthulu spun to face me as soon as one of them hit him. I could see it’d injured him a little, but the shuriken just fell out of his… back? Rear? Not seeing side? It fell out of his something and onto the ground. Another funny thing was that it looked a lot bigger.

And stood on its spiky side.

Go Terraria physics.

Even MORE unfortunately, he was in the process of floating around after spawning some Servants to make things problematic for the guards attacking him. So, for the second time in half-an-hour and in my life, he charged right at me and killed me again by squashing me excruciatingly against the floor.

And, yet again, I respawned without any of my items with me in Twilight’s bed.

Resisting the urge to scream my frustrations at how OP that giant dick-bag was, I got up and headed back over to Twilight’s wardrobe. While I was just going to go for another fashionable piece of clothing, I was too annoyed to even bother so I just grabbed the really simple dress Rarity had ‘made’ while she was saying hi to Fancypants and all those other ponies.

And I’m just glad I wouldn’t have to keep THAT one.

Dressed in crappy attire and thinking nothing but stuff about blenders mixed with the Eye of Cthulu, I headed back outside to see Twilight staring at what looked like a bag, a dress and a surprisingly intact sword and helmet; a guard hat to be specific.

Helmet, hat, pick one. Hat sounds more fun to me.

She nearly jumped out of her fur when I tapped her on the back and when she spun to face me, she looked about ready to just pass out.

“K-Karen?!” she asked sacredly and loudly. “B-but… I saw that thing flatten you! And nopony can survive something like that!!”

“Oh, calm down, it happened earlier anyway…” I said dismissingly, rolling MY eyes at HER. Yeah, sucks the other way round, doesn’t it? “Turns out I actually DID need something else fighting that thing.”

I was better at thinking tactics when I was mad at the boss for killing me that much.

“Well… I’ll get whatever you need if it means saving Ponyville!” she replied. She seemed to be a lot more distressed than usual since she’d watched me get murdered by a giant floating eyeball. “What else did you need? I’ll get it as soon as possible!”

“I’m gonna need…” I said, thinking about what weapon of mass destruction would be best for this kind of thing. It took about half a second, I just wanted to look more dramatic by drawing it out. “Rainbow Dash.”

“Yep! Watcha need?” said Rainbow Dash, suddenly appearing from absolutely nowhere with a kind of creepy grin on her face. She couldn’t have wanted to be called on in this situation THAT much, could she?

…

Oh yeah. Rainbow Dash. Got it.

“Okay, thanks for getting here so quick…” I said slowly. I waved at her weakly. “First, hi, I'm Karen." Then I pointed at my stuff. "Second, grab all that stuff and bring back real fast.”

“On it!” Rainbow yelled with a quick salute. She brought each bit back individually, but she did it all in, who woulda thought, ten seconds flat. “Piece of cake! What now?”

“Wait here while I put this stuff on,” I said, grabbing all the stuff and heading back inside. She said nothing, but she was probably thinking the same thing Twilight was earlier.

I was not going to have fun explaining why humans don’t like being naked around other people that much.

This time round, it only took me two minutes to get back into that dress. Twilight’s other dress was turned into a strap to hold the sword and the bag of shurikens and, while I’m sure she’s angry about it still, she’ll thank me for it at some point.

As soon as I got back outside, I was met with an angry glare from Rainbow Dash. Twilight had more of a worried glare, but it was still a little bit angry.

“Took ya long enough!” Rainbow reprimanded sternly. “You honestly think you’re gonna save Ponyville by taking that long to put on a stupid dress?!” Then she noticed the makeshift battle harness I’d made. “Ooh, never mind. That’s a good use for a dress.”

Twilight noticed it too.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BIRTHDAY DRESS?!!” she screamed. I was starting to think I should’ve asked first.

“Sorry, but there was no other way,” I said quickly, waving my hands at her to calm her down. I never knew how that worked. “Your dress shall help save all of Ponyville and it’ll be a magnificent sacrifice!” Drama helped with things like this apparently. “Besides, that thing was terrible. I’ll get Rarity to make you a better one.”

“Alright, skip the boring part!” Rainbow cut in over Twilight’s very angry ranting about me breaking her dress. “What exactly do you need me to do now?!”

“Alright…” I said slowly. “The giant eyeball has a very simple tactic. He’ll spawn a few minions, float around for a second and then charge at you. Before he charges, I want you to distract him by kicking him and then just get out of the way quickly so he doesn’t kill me again.”

“Sounds easy enough!” she stated quickly. She was about to tear off and do that, but I grabbed her tail and pulled her back. “Ah, what now?!”

“Yeah, I’ll also need you to pick up the shurikens that fall off of him when I throw them,” I explained, pulling one out to show her what I was talking about. “Oh, and after a while, he’ll start spinning around and the front of his eye will break off and leave him with a really big mouth. When that happens he’ll just charge three times, so you need to distract him while I hurt him even more.”

“You got it, lady!” Rainbow agreed quickly. “Let’s kill this thing and kill it fast!”

“Alright!” I yelled, spinning to point at the Eye of Cthulu. “Eye of Cthulu, prepare to meet Re-Logic!”

I don’t think Rainbow got what I meant, but she charged forwards and I ran after her.

The first thing that happened was the Eye spun to face me yet again. It’d only just charged at some out-of-reach guards, so my shuriken flew straight through a minion and into the Eye’s pupil. That was repeated another few times before it started floating around lazily.

“RD, that’s your cue!” I yelled. Rainbow got the message and shot towards it, making sure to kick it a little. The Eye spun to face her, but she darted out of the way just before it charged. “Now collect some of those shurikens and bring ‘em back!”

“You got it!” she yelled back. Immediately, she started dashing (ha, dash) around to grab all the giant, geometrically placed shurikens that were around on the ground while I started hurling more.

This routine we were in now went on for a few minutes before anything interesting happened.

“He’s going into his second form!” I shouted, noticing the overdramatic spinning of the Eye. “Keep your eyes on him so you know when he’s about to charge!”

“Like I’m gonna let you take all the credit for this!” Rainbow yelled back. She actually stopped in mid-air when she realised what I’d just said. “Aw, come on! That was terrible!”

Yes, I did say that with the pun completely intended.

My giggling was silenced by the sight of giant bits of pixel-gore flying off of where the Eye’s pupil was. He really does look a lot scarier like that in 3D. That silence was then obliterated by Rainbow Dash’s screaming. Not terror screaming though, just screaming.

“Whoa!!” she screamed way too happily for seeing this kind of thing. “That thing looks so AWESOME!! The Wonderbolts are gonna be BEGGING me to join after this!!”

Well, that’s one way of looking at it.

Oh god, the eye puns are just getting to ME now.

So there we were, in the midst of the Eye of Cthulu in phase two. I was running low on shurikens because most of them probably went too far or Rainbow couldn’t see any of them. Fortunately, my giant pony-sword was still there so it wasn’t going to be impossible.

I was just hoping I wouldn’t die again.

I pulled the sword out of the dress/strap and jumped at the close-enough Eye. I managed to hit it once pretty hard, but as I expected already, that giant cut I made on him just vanished as soon as it was made.

“Remember to keep it distracted but keep it close enough for me to get at!!” I yelled at Rainbow, who seemed way too happily immersed for this kind of thing.

I haven’t read it, but if Rainbow Factory was based around Rainbow being a bloody-minded psychopath, this is really backing that up.

I still haven’t wanted to be left alone with her.

…

Other fan-fics add to that too because I don’t really swing that way.

DO NOT JUDGE ME YOU PROBABLY READ ONE AT SOME POINT TOO.

Anyway, she obeyed that better than I would’ve thought; she’d kick the eye, get on his other side when he’d charge, kick him again and so on until he was out of charge to give me the easiest, surprisingly useful, mad flailing of a sword at him possible.

Seeing as he didn’t have his health displayed above him like he usually did, it was hard to tell how long this boss battle was going to take. Considering how long it’d taken to get him to this phase and how often I could hit him thanks to miss super speed, this wasn’t going to take that long at all.

So long as Dash kept distracting it so I wouldn’t die again.

All bosses’ health went back up when you died, after all.

But, before the first victory for team bestpony – it’s a work in progress, shut up – the not very likely happened. You probably jumped to the idea that I died again or Dash got eaten by an eyeball or something like that, but it really wasn’t that dramatic.

I just stood on the tail of the dress and tripped up.

Not that bad? Yeah, the distraction got ironically distracted by that so the Eye was still focused on me as it charged. As you’re probably thinking, I screamed in terror at the idea of getting squashed a third time today.

Fortunately, it didn’t happen.

I was wondering why not while I was quivering on the ground with my hands over my head. When I looked up, I noticed that Dash and I were no longer the only people actually doing something productive against the Eye of Cthulu.

Well, technically the people part was just me, but you get the idea.

“Alright, go that guy!” Rainbow yelled at our surprise extra comrade. “Hey, Karen! Looks like you got an admirer!”

I wouldn’t have gone red at that but the memory of what he’d done earlier and what I’d thought when he’d done it made me go as red as the Eye’s pixel blood. He was stood almost over me with his horn glowing and making a magic, semi-transparent red shield, which was probably what had saved us both.

“Aren’t you gonna say something about seeing why they call me Shieldheart’?” he asked nonchalantly.

And so decent sense of humour was added to the list of reasons why that should be mostly okay.

…

Most of it should be mostly okay.

Not that kind of thing though.

Yeah, you know what I mean. You were thinking it. If you weren’t thinking that and wondering why I was, I just have to say Carl did get kind of creepy and raunchy with his horsef@!£er insults sometimes.

Honestly, I’d rather not think about them.

I’ll get back to the main subject now.

Even though I was as red as his magic shield, I was hoping that the wacky-inflatable-arm-flailing-tube-man technique would get me out of the embarrassment of going red in front of a guy I had a REALLY TINY feeling of attraction for. Yes, it had happened before and no, it only made things more awkward for me and them.

And I’m allowed to have an INFINITESIMAL crush on some random guy. You remember that guy or girl you saw in the street that you were kind of attracted to? Well that’s the case for this as well.

I am so good at rambling on about things like this.

“Okaythanksbyenowhavefun!” I cried at him in a very quick string of randomness. I jumped back onto my feet and ran at something that would’ve been easier to be around right now; the Eye of Cthulu. “Gottakillagianteyenowgoodluckwiththat!”

I’m pretty sure he said something about me overreacting just a little, but I wasn’t really paying attention anymore. (Un)Luckily, Rainbow Dash was, but she was more focused on poking a giant eye than how I was acting around a guy.

“We’re still killing this thing, right?” she yelled at me, doing all those cool aerobatics to keep the Eye distracted. “Cuz if you wanna go get dinner with that guy, I can take this thing myself!”

I remember throwing the nearest pixelated piece of a Servant of Cthulu at her before getting back into the game. I still wish that was literal because life games suck.

Rainbow Dash is not best pony. She’s going to see this whole adventure of mine at some point and now she knows she is not best pony. You could have settled for me not saying anything, Dash, but no. You just had to go and make a stupid joke like that about a thing that actually happened often.

“Enough chitchat!” I shouted back. “Time is candy!”

I couldn’t resist.

So again, the tactics I had so amazingly come up with went back into effect. Rainbow would pull the eye close with distracted charges and I would hit him with my sword.

As I was thinking how much longer I’d have to stab an eyeball, he suddenly exploded into pixelated, gory pieces with a really disgusting squelching sound.

“AWW YEAH!!” Rainbow screamed at that victory. “PONIES ONE; GIANT EYEBALL NOTHIN’!!”

“Technically he got two because he killed me twice already, but okay…” I said, not loud enough for Dash to hear as she shot towards me.

“That was awesome!” she cheered when she stopped in front of me. “When do we get to do that again? There’s loads of monsters poppin’ up all over the place! We should go make them explode like that guy!”

I was really hoping all those monsters were just Terraria ones at the time because the least amount of trouble I’d ever had with bosses was with the Wall of Flesh. Even then I’d lost at least twenty times to him.

In a single two hour sitting of the game.

And then another ten times after the rage at how OP he was subsided.

But I could only wish for something THAT easy.

“You did it!” yelled Twilight, finally appearing again AFTER the Eye was defeated. She was galloping over with two (presumably) bodyguards. “Great work you two! You’ve saved Ponyville!”

“Pfft, it was nothin’,” Dash said, brushing off her hoof like killing giant monsters was an easy thing she did daily. She probably did, knowing her.

“Now that Ponyville’s safe, we should probably head up to Canterlot to tell princess Celestia that you can help us with this problem!” Twilight explained.

“Couldn’t you just tell Spike to message her?” I asked, not willing to use what little energy I had left.

“Not really…” she went on slowly. “For some reason he can’t send letters anymore. It must be something to do with these monsters.”

“Well…” I continued, trying to come up with something that wouldn’t mean having to quest on up to the castle. “Couldn’t you teleport up there to tell her? You’re a super-powerful alicorn now, so it shouldn’t be hard.”

“Again, not really,” she replied. It wasn’t looking good for me. “Since these monsters showed up, all the princesses of Equestria seem to have lost most of their power. I was surprised that that spell to bring you here even worked as much as you were.”

“Great,” I said. Then I remembered there was a train anyway. “Oh it’ll be fine! We’ll just take the train up!”

“One of those monsters destroyed the train before we could stop it last week,” Rainbow cut in bluntly.

I went quiet at the thought of having to trek across the land to get to Canterlot.

“But not to worry!” Twilight said quickly, seeing my distress. “The road to Canterlot isn’t that long and it’s still really safe even now!”

I wasn’t paying attention to her.

“What’s that?” I asked, pointing up in the sky at the flying ship in the sky.

Twilight turned to look.

“Oh, that’s just a griffin warship,” she said. “They said they’d help Equestria in any way they can, but they certainly took their time!”

She shouted that last part at the ship.

And then the giant hand on a crane came out of the ship.

“Oh for the love of-” was all I could say before it slapped me across Ponyville and grabbed Twilight.

I’m pretty sure Bowser was on that ship and laughing, but that was all I saw before I crashed into a wall and died FOR THE THIRD TIME that day.

So that happened. Bowser had taken the princess and I would probably be the one to save her.

The very next thing that happened was I shot bolt upright in the bed I'd spawned in to scream my frustrations.

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE F%!*ING KIDDING ME!!!" I screamed at the door that undoubtedly led to Bowser who was now probably guarding the princess so she wouldn't escape.