Did I seem to take what just happened a little too seriously?

Shut up this was more serious than anything someone had been pony-napped and I had been punched into a wall and I DIED.

That kind of thing was pretty serious.

I got out of the bed and headed over to the door quickly. I poked my head outside and looked for Rainbow Dash. I found her staring in awe at where I had died.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” I yelled at her. She jumped a little and spun to face me.

She just stared at me for a few seconds in silence.

“That is SO COOL!!” she shouted. It was a little creepy that she thought me dying was cool, but I didn’t say anything about it. “You gotta teach me how to do that some time!”

“I’d teach you if I knew how it worked myself, Rainbow Dash,” I replied. I don’t think she heard me from that far away, which is probably why she charged towards me after scooping up my stuff.

“What, no ‘thank you’?” she asked as she pushed me through the door and came into the room. I was about to say she didn’t exactly give me a chance but I went red as I noticed her observing me up and down. “Wow, you look weird without this stuff on.”

I grabbed my stuff from her, spun her around, pushed her as hard as I could towards the door and then slammed it behind her. I sighed once I’d done that and started to put the dress back on.

I panicked. What can I say? My brain was screaming at me to get her out of the room, so I did so.

“Now that was just rude!” said Rainbow Dash who’d just pushed the door back open and come back in again. “All I said is you look we-”

“OUT!!” I screamed at her as I repeated the process. I held the door shut again for a few seconds and heard her banging against it to try and get back in.

When I was sure she’d stopped, I went back to putting my clothes back on, Well, technically they were Twilight’s clothes but in this situation they were mine. I hadn’t got my actual clothes back by that point anyway.

“Okay, I get that you’re angry that you got punched by a robot thing, but you don’t have to take it out on me,” Rainbow Dash said from behind me.

The dress was half on me by that point, but I still wanted her out until I was FULLY clothed.

Unfortunately, she knew what I was going to do before I did it and flew out of my reach.

“Can you just get out please?!” I yelled up at her.

“Why?” she asked. “It’s not like you’ve got something to hide. I can’t understand why you want to wear clothes so bad anyway.”

“Where I’m from, it’s rude to watch someone get dressed!” I tried. It was, but I don’t think she cared.

“Well I bet it wouldn’t hurt you to try some of our culture!” she retorted, smirking and crossing her forelegs at me. “I promise I’ll try some of your culture later too, but right now, we gotta hurry up and save Twilight!”

“I don’t want to try Equestrian culture though!” I snapped at her. I didn’t even realise what I’d said until after I’d said it.

Rainbow Dash, however, got too many implications from what I just said just fine though.

“Wow,” Rainbow commented, sounding a lot angrier than a few seconds ago. “That’s just BEYOND rude. You better have something to say for yourself or that robot thing won’t be the only thing knocking you into a wall today.”

“I didn’t mean to say that,” I said as apologetically as I could. I think being half dressed just wasn’t on my mind now. “Sorry. I just don’t want to try the not wearing anything part of your culture. It’s kinda… really important that we wear clothes where I’m from.”

“Apology accepted,” she spat at me. She didn’t sound much better though. “What’s so bad about it anyway? Barely anypony in Equestria wears clothes around other ponies that often, so what’s the difference?”

“Well…” I started, already regretting opening my big mouth. I tried finding the right way of saying it. “Y-you know your… um… you guys have private parts, right?”

“Ew, but yeah,” she replied, going a little red in the cheeks.

“We… kind of need clothes to hide ours,” I said slowly.

“Oh,” she said simply. It took a few seconds for it to sink in. “Oh, that’s just gross!”

She was faster out the door than I could register and it was slammed shut behind her.

I shuddered as I got the dress on properly and told myself that I would forget about it in no time.

I grabbed Twilight’s other stupid dress and wrapped it around me to put the sword into it again and headed back outside. Rainbow, who was still a little red, was bashing her head against the wall to the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Getting that disgusting image out of my head!” she yelled back as she head-butted the wall harder. “It’s bad enough having to think about a pony’s private parts, and I just saw the private parts of a whole different SPECIES!”

I don’t even know how they even see THEIR private parts at all because if you’d seen them from my point of view, you’d know that you can’t even see anything that HIDES their private parts. How they actually DID reproduce is something I can’t nor want to think about.

“Right…” I said slowly, going red at that reminder. “So… should we get to Fluttershy’s then?”

She stopped bashing her head against the wall and shot up to my face.

“Why the heck are we going to Fluttershy’s?” she yelled, shaking me by the shoulders. “Are you out of your mind? Twilight just got kidnapped! Fluttershy’s got Discord with her so she’s fine!”

“That’s why I wanted to go to Fluttershy’s,” I explained. “Discord.” Rainbow blinked. “You know? God of chaos?” She put on a confused expression. “Weird body parts? Yellow eyes? Horns”

“Okay, hold it right there,” she said, backing up from me. “Discord is a good guy now! There’s no way he would betray us like this, especially this bad!”

“Oh,” I said, frowning. “You got the wrong idea entirely. I was just gonna say he might know something about this.”

Yeah, I probably should’ve started with that but I wanted to make her look stupid for walking in on me getting dressed.

“Then why didn’t you say so?!” she yelled at me. “Come on! Let’s not waste any more time doing nothing!”

She raced off so fast I didn’t even know what’d happened until the dust she’d kicked up cleared. I stood there with my jaw dropped for a moment before she reappeared with her hooves on her hips and a scowl on her face.

“Any time you’re ready!” she snapped. “We got as long as you like! Next year sound line the time you’re planning?”

“You gave me like half a second,” I replied.

“That’s still too slow!” she yelled angrily. “If I knew you were gonna take so long I’d be at Fluttershy’s already!”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose with my fingers and sighed.

“Still waiting!” she yelled. God, she was impatient.

So I did the only thing that I could think of.

I jumped up at her, grabbed her by the feet and pulled her down to waist level. She started squirming and protesting loudly, but I just ignored her and sat on her back.

“What the heck are you doing?!” she screamed, starting to look angry.

“Making things faster,” I replied calmly, keeping a very straight face as I spun around to wrap my arms around her neck and get my legs in a good position for riding.

I’d done this twice before I knew what I was doing.

“Why the heck do you want a piggy-back?” she yelled at me. “You’re twice my size! How do you expect me to carry you?!”

“Well back at home we ride horses for races and stuff,” I explained. “Granted, you’re a pony instead of a horse, but you can go at the speed of a horse because you’re Rainbow Dash. You did the sonic rainboom, remember?”

“That… kinda makes sense…” she agreed slowly. She turned to scowl at me. “But this is just a one-time thing! I’m doing this once so we get to Fluttershy’s faster and that’s it! Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said dismissively, kicking my legs into her side like you see people in movies do when they’re on horseback. “So let’s go already!”

“Do NOT kick me,” she said crossly. She didn’t move an inch. “And if I’m the one doing the leg work, I’M the one in charge of when we go!”

“Um…” I said quietly. “Right. It’s just back where I come from the riders are in control of the horse.”

“Well we’re not where you come from,” she spat back. “Welcome to Equestria.”

And then she started galloping off to Fluttershy’s with me just barely able to hold on to her neck before she jumped off the ground and we were flying along at a not very impressive speed. It was still a lot faster than I could go, so it wasn’t a waste of time.

I have to admit, I always wanted to ride a flying horse and I’m pretty sure I squealed like I was five years old again.

Rainbow Dash took every squeal of delight I let out as a cue to fly faster, which led to more happy squealing, which technically should’ve made us move faster than the speed of light, but it didn’t last very long.

She got too tired to carry me and fly at the speed of happiness and crashed into the ground after a minute, sending me tumbling over her head and into a heap in front of her.

“Ow,” I groaned as I got back to my feet. I brushed myself off and looked down at her. “You were doing so well! How much farther is it to Fluttershy’s?”

“Not that far,” she wheezed up at me. “But you’re heavy. I can’t carry you anymore.”

“Aww, come on!” I tried, leaning down to help her up. “You could just run the next part!”

“No way,” she growled at me. “I’m not carrying you anymore at all.” Her grumpy, exhausted expression turned into a devious one. “Why don’t we switch it around now that I’m too tired to do anything?”

“What, I carry you?” I asked her disbelievingly. “Are you serious?”

“Why not?” she asked, smiling innocently. “I gave you a piggy-back, so you can give me one now!”

“Well it… just doesn’t seem right for a human to be carrying a pony,” I said. I’m not the only one who thinks that, right?

“Again, welcome to Equestria!” she said loudly, grabbing my arm and spinning me around so she could get at my back.

I swear, she jumped onto it AS HARD AS SHE COULD and nearly sent me flying again. Luckily, my younger cousins and their chaotic means of fun had trained me for it, so I kept upright and turned to glare at her.

“I thought you said you were too tired to do anything,” I said accusingly.

“Well I’m on you now, so let’s not put that to waste!” she replied happily, putting her arms over my front and letting me grab hold of them to keep her there.

“Right…” I whispered. Then I remembered something. “Which way to Fluttershy’s?”

“Oh, wow!” she laughed. “Looks like I’m trying some of your culture sooner than I thought! You’re doing the legwork and I’M the one in control!”

“Shut up,” I said, frowning at the idea. “Just steer me in the right direction.”

And so the horse became the rider and the human looked like a foal (yes, I know.) and the two of us headed to Fluttershy’s to talk to Discord.

I couldn’t exactly complain; she weighed less than my cousins did and she’d got us fairly close, but when we got there, she flew off my back like she’d been fine the whole time.

“Oh, come on!” I yelled at her. “You just wanted to put me in the same situation!”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about!” she replied innocently. “My energy came back on the way here.”

“Whatever…” I muttered, stepping closer to Fluttershy’s door to knock. As soon as I did, I heard two familiar voices coming from nearby. “Do you hear that?”

“Yeah, that’s Discord!” Rainbow stated. “But I don’t know who that other one is.”

“I do,” I whispered, heading to the side of Fluttershy’s house where the two voices were coming from.

Who was the other voice, you ask?

Joker.

From the end of Arkham Asylum.

So all giant and muscly and stuff.

“What the heck are you doing with him?!” I yelled as I rounded the corner on them. They seemed to be having a delightful conversation over a plastic tea set about who knows what.

“I swear, honey, we were just talking!” Joker replied, putting his claw hands up defensively and cackling evilly.

“Who the heck are you?!” Rainbow yelled at Joker, who laughed again.

“Me?!” he asked, pointing at her. “Who the heck are YOU?!”

“Now, Joker,” Discord said with a dark chuckle. “Be nice to our friends or I’ll put you in the box again.”

A box appeared out of nowhere beside Joker’s head. It was half the size of his torso so how he got into it in the first place is beyond me.

“Spoilsport,” Joker grumbled, crossing his giant arms disappointedly.

“Okay, first of all,” I started, pointing at Joker. “Why are you here and not killing anyone?”

“He’s my new friend!” Discord exclaimed, putting an arm around Discord’s shoulder and ruffling his hair. “Say hello, new friend!”

“No, she has a point,” Joker said, tapping his chin in thought. “Why AREN’T I killing anyone? There’s no big, bad bat and I’m still rippling with Titan muscles!”

“Okay, back in the box,” Discord muttered. The lid to that magical box opened up and Joker was sucked inside it in a flash. There were some muffled screams from it as Discord grabbed it out of the air and started bouncing it up and down like a basketball. “Sorry about him, he’s new to this kind of thing.”

“Don’t worry, I know him,” I said. “Also hi, I’m Karen. Twilight brought me here to help save Equestria.”

“Oh, I’m just making new friends all the time today!” Discord said happily, reaching forward to grab my hand and start shaking it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Karen! What was the second you wanted to say then?”

“Where’s Fluttershy?” I asked, pulling my hand away from him and watching the still-bouncing box.

“She’s fine if Discord’s here!” Rainbow yelled at me. “We gotta just get to the point of why we came all the way here!”

“Shh,” I said to her. “I have something I need her to do real quick.”

“Well, she’s been under her bed since Joker turned up,” Discord replied. “Want me to get her out here?”

“Yes please,” I said quickly.

“Alright, give me a moment,” he said, holding the safe out to Rainbow Dash. “Hold this, will you?”

She grabbed it and he vanished with a pop. As soon as his claw left the box, it fell to the floor with a loud clang and a muffled cry of pain, dragging Dash with it.

“Alright, why’d you need Fluttershy?” she yelled at me once she’d realised the safe weighed a ton and Discord was just being a troll.

“I just got something I wanna ask her,” I replied. I did, but I just didn’t want to tell her what it was because I knew it would just make her angry.

“Well what is it?!” she shouted impatiently. Before I had to tell her, Fluttershy’s back door opened up and she stepped out with Discord in tow.

As soon as she saw me, she spun around and tried to get back inside, but Discord spun her back around to face me quickly.

“It’s alright, Fluttershy,” he said, leaning down to give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Rainbow Dash and I are here. She won’t hurt you.”

“If she does, I’ll just kill her again!” Rainbow put in bravely. Fluttershy went white and Discord turned to stare at me in wonder.

“She’s killed you already?” he asked me.

“Not her exactly, but it’s for another time,” I replied, waving it away. I turned to face Fluttershy and put on the most serious look I could. “Now, Fluttershy, this is really important and your answer may help save all of Equestria as we know it.”

“Oh my…” she breathed in pure terror, going whiter.

“Can I have a hug?” I asked her with a sweet smile.

IT WAS TO SAVE EQUESTRIA BE QUIET.

“Um… what?” she asked quietly.

“What?!” Rainbow Dash yelled at me.

“I must have missed something,” Discord said slowly. “Because I didn’t know Equestria could be saved with hugs”

“Oh it’s not to SAVE Equestria, it’s to HELP save Equestria,” I explained, crouching down to Fluttershy’s level. “So can I? I’ve had a very horrible day and it’s not even close to over yet. I think I’ve actually died three times already and I’m probably going to die a lot more if this keeps up and it WILL keep up.”

“Um…” Fluttershy whispered, shifting uncomfortably. “How can you have… died… three times already?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” I replied. “The only reason I’m still here is because I respawned by some great feat of magic unknown to me and everyone else involved.”

“Respawned?” she asked. “As in… came back to life?”

“Yeah, probably,” I said slowly. I stretched my arms out so I was ready to hug her. “So can I have a hug please?”

“Um… I guess…” she mumbled. She didn’t seem reluctant for it but she wasn’t exactly happy about it either.

She leaned in close and put a hoof around my shoulders to hug me lightly. I hugged her back as nicely as I could without squeezing her too hard. She just seemed so fragile that if it felt like if I hugged her too much she’d break in half.

“You are just the cutest thing,” I said happily, patting her lightly on the back. “And now that you’ve given me hugs, I can always stay slightly more happy about everything! Thank you for making life better!”

“Um… you’re welcome?” she said unsurely, pulling out of the hug slowly. “Why did you need a hug to help save Equestria anyway?”

“Oh, you know,” I said. “I’m dying a lot and slowly losing my mind because of it. Ever play Dark Souls? Great game. I’m becoming hollow like you do in that game. Strange, right?”

“Can I just say something?” Rainbow asked from behind me. She’d been quiet this whole time so I assumed she was just slowly letting her rage bottle up and consume her.

“Shut up I needed a hug and you aren’t huggy enough for the hug I needed,” I replied, spinning to face her before she could start screaming at me.

“Gee, thanks,” she muttered, crossing her hooves angrily.

“Alright, now that that adorable little cuddle session is over, did you have anything else to say?” Discord asked, tapping me on the shoulder.

Then I remembered the SECOND important reason I came over to Fluttershy’s.

“Oh yeah,” I muttered to myself. “Discord, you’re a spirit of chaos, right?”

“Last I checked, yes,” he replied with a nod.

“Okay, next question: why is Twilight’s castle all messed up now?” I asked. “Last time I saw it, her bedroom wasn’t on the ground floor and it wasn’t that close to the town.”

“It’s some great mystery that may never be solved,” he replied.

Don’t tell me you didn’t think that was strange too. Her castle had one door and it was on the edge of the town in that episode it showed up.

“Alright then…” I went on. “Secondly… I forgot that part… Help me out here, Rainbow Dash!”

“She wanted to ask you if you had any idea what’s going on,” Rainbow helpfully put in, still sounding angry about me hugging Fluttershy before asking the ‘more important’ questions first. “You know, besides monsters appearing everywhere and making bad stuff happen.”

“I can’t say I do, Rainbow Dash,” Discord replied sadly. “Well, that’s a lie. I did feel some strange presence of something very chaotic appear around the time the first monster turned up. I don’t know why I haven’t told Twilight about this yet, I just didn’t think it was important at the time.”

“Well it’s kinda important to talk about chaos things turning up when chaos happens,” I explained. “Anything else about it that may help us stop Equestria exploding or something?”

“Well…” he trailed off, thinking about his next words carefully. “That presence of chaos did seem to get bigger today, but-”

“Today is when I got here!” I interrupted rudely.

“Quiet in class, please,” he continued, putting a finger to his mouth to shush me. “Anyway, I don’t know the point of origin of this chaotic entity, but I might be able to figure it out in time.”

“That would probably be good,” I said, nodding in agreement. “I mean, that thing of chaos might be how all these monsters are coming here, but I guess we’ll have to wait until you work out where it is exactly. Can you do something that can help you search for it better?”

“I can do that,” he said, smiling slightly. “I’d just need to do something that no one can really use as assistance until the last minute when it’s more vital than ever.”

“Honestly, it’s like you think this is a badly written story or something,” I said calmly, crossing my arms disappointedly.

“Isn’t it?” he asked with a grim chuckle. “For all we know, we’re merely the pawns of a terrible writer with no sense of structure or plot. It would explain a lot that’s happening, after all.”

I started to think about that for a moment before I realised it would just make me question my own existence and make me go insane even faster.

“Stop it, you’re just confusing me,” I said quickly.

“That’s not hard…” Rainbow Dash mumbled.

“Shut up, you just don’t appreciate hugs as much as I do,” I snapped at her.

“Whatever, can we just go save Twilight now?” she asked crossly.

“Twilight’s in trouble?” Fluttershy put in worriedly.

“Yeah, but we’re saving her now!” I replied. “We just… need to find her.”

“That part’s easy,” Rainbow explained. “I saw that thing head in Applejack’s direction. She’ll know where it is!”

“Well let’s go then!” I exclaimed, spinning to point at the direction I thought Applejack’s was. “Time to actually save Twilight from pretty much no danger at all!”

“Excuse me,” I heard Fluttershy whisper. Seriously, she was so quiet and it was just adorable!

Still only second best pony though. Sorry, Flutters.

“Yes, Fluttershy?” I replied, spinning back to face her. I sincerely hoped she was going to say what I thought she would say.

“If Twilight’s in trouble, then…” she went quiet and I celebrated internally. “Then I’d like to help. Can I come with you?”

“You have no idea how much yes I can say,” I said as calmly as possible. You have no idea how hard it was to act THAT calmly about this.

“Great, we got another monster slayer with us, now let’s go!” Rainbow yelled impatiently.

“Lead the way, I don’t know where Applejack lives!” I replied angrily.

She took off way too quickly again, leaving Fluttershy and I in the dust. She didn’t come back this time, so Fluttershy and I shared a glance and headed after her at a light jog.

Author's Note

This chapter was delayed because about a billion rewrites happened and then an episode that led to the deletion of every single bit of work I had on my computer for pretty much no good reason at all.
Also the description was changed so only the story was poorly written and badly thought out.
Also also this chapter has not been proofread so feel free to despise my pathetic existence and writing inability.