I looked at the world down below me. I was on Ponyville's famous sled hill, so steep, if you jumped down it, you wouldn't hit solid ground until near the bottom. It stands about 60 feet high. This should kill me, right?
The time? Around three a.m. The day? May 2nd. I'm Scootaloo, age thirteen, grade seven, race pegasus, cutie mark none. And I'll soon be dead from the fall. I'm making up all of these notes in my head so I can know what I am before I die.
I should do it now. Just now. Jump, done. That's the last thing I have to do. Ever. In my life. It's so easy, so simple. Just jump. Anypony is capable of jumping. Well, that's also what they said about flying. "It's easy!" they said, "It's simple!" they said, "Anypony can do it!" they said. But with my stunted wings, I won't be flying any time soon. In fact, I won't be flying at all. But still. Ponies who were born with disabled legs can't jump. Some can't even walk.
I've never done so many things in life. No cutie mark earning, no flying, no popularity, no kisses, no special moments.
There's this one colt...Rumble. We used to be best friends. He earned his cutie mark in fourth grade, and he stuck to me until halfway through sixth grade, until...
Tears formed in my eyes, as I went through the memory.
"You have to go? But..." I said, disappointed.
"Sorry." Rumble moaned, "My grandma is in the hospital. It's super important."
"I understand, I just am disappointed...you're kind of my only friend." I blushed in embarrassment. Only one friend. I am such a loser.
"Don't worry 'Scoots. I'll be back in a week. You can handle a week...right?" Rumble asked.
"I don't know. I really don't know." I sighed.
Rumble leaned towards me, as if he were about to kiss me. But then he hesitated and gave me a big hug, and then the bell rang, and we parted ways.
That's the last time I saw him. He was killed in Manehatten while visiting his grandma with his family. They were walking to the hospital late at night and a couple ponies pulled out their guns and shot him, Thunderlane, and his parents. They all died. The shooters were caught and put in jail for life. I was devastated when my mom told me. I couldn't believe it. Not Rumble. Not Rumble. Not Rumble.
Tears formed in my eyes and they dropped onto the grass. I wish he would've kissed me right then, right there. I miss him so much. My life has been Hell since.
I felt the soft breeze push my mane and tail forward, and I looked at my body, trying to get a nice and good look at it before I do this.
I look at my stunted wings and growl. I hate them. My wings suck. I wish I never had them. I wish I had normal wings.
I spoke aloud for the first time.
"Mom, Dad, you don't have faith in me. And I don't care. Why have faith when it's hopeless?" I looked at the ground for a second, then continued to speak, "Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, I know why you left me." I sighed, "Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, thanks for making my ruined life worse. I hope you know that you're the cause of this. I'm sure your parents will be so proud when they hear a filly has killed herself because of you."
There. Killing myself. Why don't I just do it? Right now.
Do it, now! Or are you afraid? You're a wimp, you're terrible, you always have been! You suck! That's why nopony likes you! You're a waste of life and the stupidest thing ever. Kill yourself, you wimp! EVERYPONY HATES YOU! I am bullying myself. I can't believe it. What are you waiting for?! Do it! Go make the world a better place!
"Fine!" I screamed into the night, and birds began squawking and flying out of trees. I could hear the flap of their wings. At least they could fly. More tears spilled out of my eyes.
I am going to end this suffering once and for all.
I took a step back, ran, and jumped off, and closed my eyes.
I knew my life was going to end within a second. Goodbye life, I hate you. You suck. I'm getting my way in the end.
But then, something happened.
It's been, I don't know, five seconds? Shouldn't I be dead?
I opened my eyes, and gasped.
I am in the air. But I'm not falling. I'm...hovering.
I looked behind me. My wings are flapping.
I gasped again. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I can actually fly! I did it! I can't believe this...but...I actually have some hope...
If a pegasus falls from somewhere, their natural instinct will be to open their wings and fly to prevent crashing. I assumed since I had stunted wings, I would just fall and die. But...no. I'm not dead. I'm a few inches away from the ground, but I'm very well alive.
Suddenly, a white flash appeared on my flank. No...it couldn't be...
a cutie mark.
I couldn't believe my eyes. Not only am I hovering, I got my cutie mark!
It was a gold light coming from inbetween a few clouds, and a pony at the center of the light.
Hope. Motivation. Faith. Comfort.
Is what I needed during all of this. But I never realized that I was supposed to be the one giving it to other ponies. I was so focused on myself, I never considered that one colt who was always being shoved in the hall, or that filly who is called names.
It's my job to give those ponies who are struggling just like I was hope, faith, motivation, and comfort.
That's just who I'm meant to be.
