Ch 4: Field Research

The next morning Spike woke up to find Twilight pacing back and forth. She was talking to herself about what Celestia meant to say in that message. Spike could see that she has written many scrolls ready to be sent off.

“Twilight are you oka-”

“Spike,” Twilight delightedly interrupted. “Great, you finally woke up. I need you to send these to Princess Celestia immediately, starting with this one.”

Spike took another look at the pile.

“Twilight, there has to be over 30 messages here.”

“Then we better get started. Princess Celestia has to know about what Luna did last night. She was obviously trying to warn me about cannabis. I thought I could inform her about it by sending her everything I’ve learned about it. So I stayed up all night researching the book Vanilla gave me. She needs to know about it, Spike. Something tells me Princess Luna might know something about this and if she’s up to something we all need to get to the bottom of it. So let’s hurry, Spike”

Spike began to pack a bowl instead of helping Twilight.

“Twilight, as your assistant I must say that this is way too excessive,” Spike said. “Even for you.”

Twilight took his words to heart when she looked at the pile of letters.

“Gosh Spike. You got me again! What was I thinking? I’m just worried Spike. What if this is all wrong? What if we’re playing with fire?”

Twilight then remembered the words Luna left her last night about acting like a princess. She has not been stepping up to her role in this matter as much as she should’ve.

“I think I have an idea, Spike,” Twilight said. “Why don’t we do some more studying with this stuff?”

“More research?” Spike said after inhaling his first puff.

“Field research. This time we’ll study our friends.”

“Okay, do you want me to go get them?”

“No Spike. We have to do this right. We are going to observe them from afar in their natural environment. That is the only way we’re going to get clear, concise, and accurate results.”

“Whatever you say, Professor Princess Twilight Sparkle,” Spike saluted.

Twilight and Spike gathered material to initiate their observation experiment. The goal was to study her friends more closely succumbing to the effects of cannabis. Their first subject was Rainbow Dash.

Twilight and Spike teleported to Rainbow Dash’s cloud house. They appeared in her room. Fortunately for them Rainbow Dash was sleeping.

“So, wait,” Spike said.

“Shh, we have to be quiet, Spike” Twilight whispered.

“Oh, right. But how or we going to observe her unnoticed while standing in the middle of her room?”

“I’m going to cast an invisibility spell on us. Stand still.“

Twilight then casted the spell making them invisible to all who can see. They weren’t even able to see their claws or hooves in front of them.

“This is so cool,” Spike said loudly.

“Yeah? Did somepony say cool?” Rainbow said half awake. She looked around to see if anyone was there but could not see Spike and Twilight in front of her. She yawned and got out of bed and floated over to the bathroom.

“Psst, hey Twilight,” Spike called.

“What, Spike?” Twilight responded slightly annoyed.

“If we’re in a cloud house and you use the toilet, where does the stuff go? Does Rainbow Dash have plumbing in here or does it just fall to the ground?”

“Shhh, here she comes.”

Rainbow Dash came out of the bathroom and went over to her desk. She seemed to have acquired a bong and a torch to smoke her cannabis. She prepared the bowl and took a long toke of the smoke, then exhaled slowly.

“Oh yeah,” she said. “That’s the stuff!”

Rainbow Dash soon went out of her room to go to her kitchen. Twilight and Spike quickly followed her. When they all arrived in her kitchen, Rainbow Dash floated in the air in one place. She then decided to go back to her room. Again, Twilight and Spike followed her. They watched as Rainbow Dash sat on her bed looking straight ahead.

“What was I doing?” Rainbow Dash asked herself. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Duh! I knew I came back in here for something.”

Rainbow Dash began setting up her projector. She brought out a box of reels. A lot of them were Wonderbolts routines and promotional reels. She inserted a reel with no label on it. She began to play it. It showed somepony holding a clapperboard. When “Action” was called the routine started and ended quickly in comedic fashion. Rainbow Dash laughed aloud. Another take began and a different comedic outcome occurred. Rainbow Dash continued to laugh at the reel. It seemed that Rainbow Dash was playing a blooper reel of the Wonderbolts. Spike found this very amusing but Twilight was too focused on Rainbow’s behavior.

“Now what was I doing before this?” Rainbow Dash continued to converse with herself. She then realized that she was going to the kitchen to fix herself breakfast. She quickly prepared herself a bowl of cereal and zipped back to her room before Twilight and Spike could follow her. Rainbow Dash sat on the floor in front of the projector screen eating her cereal and enjoying her blooper reel. She was about to take a spoonful of cereal when she realized she was holding Tank, her turtle. She poured cereal and milk over him thinking he was an empty bowl.”

“Oops, sorry, um,... uh… Tank! Yeah, sorry buddy. I thought you were food.”

Rainbow Dash quickly washed him up and grabbed an appropriate bowl of cereal so she could continue  watching bloopers. Twilight and Spike stayed and observed for a while before they decided to leave.

Once Twilight and Spike were back on the ground the spell ceased and they were visible again. They headed towards Apple Acres. On the way there, Twilight wrote down her observations from studying Rainbow Dash while Spike recalled the image of Spitfire splitting the bottom of her uniform and laughing about it.

“Funny stuff is like 10 times more funnier when you’re high,” Spike said laughing.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” said sarcastically by a slightly annoyed Twilight.

“So we’re doing Applejack next?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said looking at the orchards. “It’s strange, but usually Applejack would have this orchard harvested already.”

The two continued to the Apple Barn house. As they approached they could hear loud rock music coming from the Apple home. They hurried to see what the commotion was.

They stopped at the front door.

“Are we gonna go invisible again,” said Spike as he readied himself to receive the spell’s power.

“I don’t think so,” Twilight said concerned. “I can hear yelling. Something could be wrong. Let’s go in, Spike!”

The two darted through the front door and headed toward the source of the noise. They ran upstairs and found Granny Smith knocking on Big Macintosh’s door. Applebloom was with her trying to get her attention by talking with her but Granny Smith ignored her. Twilight approached them to see what was wrong.

“GRANNY SMITH,” Twilight yelled. “IS EVERYTHING OKAY?”

Twilight’s voice could not reach Granny Smith. Applebloom was able to notice her, instead. Applebloom approached Twilight.

“APPLEBLOOM, WHAT’S GOING ON?”

Applebloom could not make out what Twilight was saying. Applebloom interpreted that to her by using her hoofs and making facial expressions.

Twilight then remembered a spell she could use. She formed a impenetrable bubble around her, Spike, Applebloom, and Granny Smith. It blocked out the loud music so that they could talk to each other.

“-Land sakes, Big Mac, TURN DOWN THAT RACKET!” yelled an oblivious Granny Smith. “Well ain’t that a kick in the dentures. I can hear m’self, again.”

“Yup,” said Applebloom as she trotted and hopped around Granny Smith with joy and delight. “And it’s all thanks to Princess Twilight!”

“Twilight!” Granny said turning her attention to her. “Aren’t you a sight for sorry sore eyes? I ain’t get a lick of sleep last night.”

“How come, Granny. Why is Big Mac playing loud music.”

“It’s that wacky tobacky he’s been smokin’, I tell ya!”

“Oh c’mon Granny,” Applebloom contested. “It ain’t all that bad!”

“Yeah it is! It made Big Mac all noisy and Applejack all sleepy. She ain’t been out her room all mornin’. Not one of em’ been out their rooms to do any of the chores. When Applejack brought that stuff home yesterday, I didn’t think it would cause all this here fussin’ but this just ain’t gonna work out!”

"Where's Babs Seed," Spike questioned.

"She went into town already," Applebloom responded. "She wanted to meet and talk with the Kush's today about somethin'. We're gonna meet up with her later!"

Twilight took all of this into consideration. This was the sort of evidence she was looking for. If she can investigate this issue further and find that cannabis has caused Big Mac to be rude and Applejack to be lazy, then she would see what Celestia was trying to warn her about. Then maybe she can remedy a solution for the Apple family.

“Well, now that it’s quiet,” Applebloom started. “I really think I should mention that-”

“Ok, Spike,” Twilight said interrupting Applebloom. “Let’s go talk to Applejack first.”

Twilight teleported her and Spike into Applejack’s room. There they saw Applejack asleep in her bed with a nightshade and earmuffs. She appeared to be snoring but her snores cannot be heard over the blaring music. Twilight shoved her sleeping apple-bucking friend. Applejack slowly came to. She lifted her nightshade as her eyes crept open. She saw Twilight standing over her and talking. Applejack removed her earmuffs to hear what she had to say but could hear nothing but loud electric guitar riffs. She soon realized what was going on.

Applejack climbed out of her bed and walked out of her room. Granny Smith was still in the bubble Twilight created with Applebloom. She immediately began calling out to Applejack but Applejack paid her no attention. She continued adamantly marching towards Big Mac’s room. Applejack bucked the door down. She saw Big Mac and Cheerilee lying on their backs staring at the ceiling. Applejack walked over to Big Mac’s record player and unplugged it. Big Mac and Cheerilee were surprised by the sudden silence. They saw Applejack standing over them with the record player on her back. She did not look pleased. Cheerilee quickly darted out of the room heading towards the nearest exit. Applejack was still looking at Big Mac with eyes filled with displeasure.

“Go buy some headphones,” Applejack sternly said. “Only then will Ah give this back.” Applejack then walked out of his room and closed the door behind her.

“Ah’m sorry, there Twilight. What can I do ya for?”

Twilight was so stunned by her actions that she lost concentration of the bubble spell and it popped, freeing Granny Smith and Applebloom.

“Now, you listen here, missy,” fussed Granny Smith. “You all gonna stop with this here nonsense and get yer lazy flanks in gear! Y’all are behind on y’all’s chores today.”

“Today? Granny don’t y’all remember today was our day off?”

“Day off? Today?”

“That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to tell you, Granny!” yelled Applebloom.

“Oh my. I done plumb fergot,” Granny said. “But that still doesn’t excuse BIG MAC FROM PLAYING HIS MUSIC SO LOUD!”

Big Mac suddenly came out of the room hanging his head.

“Ah’m sorry,” he said in his baritone voice. He then proceeded to leave carrying a bag of bits.

“Now what was it you wanted to tell me, Twilight?”

Back in Applejack’s room Twilight and Spike watched Applejack as she climbed back into her bed.

“Hey, Applejack, how is cannabis treating you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, I reckon it helps me out, here and there.”

“What do you mean?” Spike asked.

“This stuff gots more kick than any ol’ glass of warm milk,” Applejack said as she took a hit from her pipe. “Knocks me, right out! Before, I couldn’t get to sleep fer nothin’. But with this here cannabis, I sawed more logs than Rainbow Dash!”

“How does Big Mac react to it?” Twilight asked.

“Oh you should’ve seen him. All he does is imitate Hinny Hendrix. That’s his favorite musician ‘n’ such. Today he probably got a bit outta hoof.”

Twilight and Spike looked at each other with confused expressions.

“Why the questions anyway?”

“We’re just, uh, doing a survey,” Twilight said. “Y’know, for science!”

“Welp, y’all have fun with that. If’n y’all don’t mind, I wanna enjoy the rest of my sleep. Night!”

Twilight and Spike left the Apple home.

“Gee, talk about a major misunderstanding,” Spike commented. “Did we get what we needed from that?”

“Yeah, we actually did, Spike,” Twilight said finishing her notes. “C’mon, Fluttershy is next.”