High Times in Ponyville

Twilight and Spike approached Fluttershy’s tree cottage. Their field research continues with Fluttershy being the next subject. Twilight is determined to find out if cannabis is harmful or not. Hopefully Fluttershy will offer some clues.

“Okay Spike,” Twilight started. “We’re gonna go invisible, again.”

“Wait, Twilight,” Spike said halting their trek. “I hear music.”

“Oh no, not again.”

“Why don’t we just peek into her window?”

“Yeah. I’ve never known Fluttershy to play music this loudly. Is that… cabaret music? I wonder if she’s smoking. Do you remember her acting weird yesterday?”

“Sorta. She was more social than usual but nothing I wouldn’t worry about.”

“Yeah, I agree. C’mon let’s see what’s going on.”

Twilight and Spike found a window where they can spy on the timid pony. However, the sight surprised them. Fluttershy was dancing provocatively with a chair to an audience of forest critters. The critters shared a confused and shocked look to the act. Twilight and Spike were no different. The routine came to an end when Fluttershy stole a move from her good friend, Discord, by pulling a cord to splash a bucket of water on herself in the chair and finishing with a pose.

“Um, Twilight?” Spike whispered. “At some point, you’re going to have to explain to me what I just saw.”

“When you’re older,” she responded.

“Fair enough.”

“There,” Fluttershy said panting. “Well, what did you think? I was going for ‘artful display of pent-up sexual expression.’”

The forest critters just sat there, some looking off into another direction. The bear was the only critter that applauded.

“Oh thank you, my lovelies. I’m just trying out new things and I’m finding it to be such an invigorating experience. And it’s all thanks to this glorious gift from nature herself!”

Fluttershy flew over to her water pipe. She packed it with the weed she was gifted by Vanilla. Once packed, she held up her pipe as if she was presenting it to the heavens.

“Oh glorious Mother Nature, I burn the fruit of this harvest so that I may consume its essence and be one with you. I mean, if that’s okay with you! If not, then I’m sorry I bothered you.”

Fluttershy took a long hard hit from her pipe, totally incinerating the entire contents of the bowl. She held in her smoke for 13 seconds before exhaling. Spike was so impressed by the sight he didn’t notice his mouth was agape.

“Okay Spike,” Twilight said casting her invisibility spell. “We’re going in for a closer investigation.”

The two walked around to the front door. Spike peeked through the keyhole to check if the coast was clear so that they could teleport into Fluttershy’s doorway.

“We’re all clear, Twilight.”

“Good, remember, once we’re in we have to be quiet. I think we’re going to learn a lot from Fluttershy. She isn’t the type to go out and socialize so we’ll have plenty of time to-”

“Look out, Equestria,” Fluttershy yelled bursting through her door slamming Twilight and Spike into the bushes. “Fluttershy is here and she wants to say ‘hello!’”

Fluttershy floated away carrying her satchel and singing a happy tune as Twilight and Spike recovered from their fall.

“This is not the Fluttershy we know,” Twilight, said slightly concerned. “We gotta catch up with her.”

“Right behind you boss,” said Spike.

The two followed Fluttershy as she made her way into Ponyville. Twilight and Spike stayed close to her, watching her every move. They first saw her approach a patch of wild flowers. She sat and chatted with them, complimenting them on their vibrant colors and irresistible aroma. Fluttershy continued on her way. She said hello to everypony she saw. Bulk Biceps was flying by and Fluttershy stopped to talk to him. Twilight and Spike eavesdropped on their conversation.

“What are they saying?” Spike whispered. “Are they making out?”

“Shh. I’m trying to listen!” Twilight hushed.

“...So if you’re not doing anything later maybe I can come over and we can talk about stuff and junk. Maybe get a little high and see where nature takes us!”

Bulk Biceps nodded eagerly to the idea Fluttershy proposed.

“Then it’s a date! See you later Bulk Biceps and thanks for being such a sweetie!”

“Whoa,” Twilight exclaimed. “Fluttershy just asked him out!”

“No way,” Spike said taking a look by hopping on the back of Twilight’s neck.

They saw the two ponies part ways. Fluttershy was finally heading into Ponyville. It was the afternoon and ponies everywhere were out and about taking care of personal business, meeting other ponies for lunch, or just enjoying another warm sunny day. The rest were waiting in a long line at a stand.

It was The Kush family and they were busy selling more goods to the citizens of Ponyville. Even Mayor Mare was in line, eager to get her hooves on some edibles. Fluttershy immediately found her spot in line. She tapped the pony in front of her and gave the stranger a hug. “You’re so special,” Fluttershy said to her. The pony immediately began to cry as Fluttershy continued to console her.

“How did she know-” Twilight started. “Spike, did you see that? Spike?”

Spike did not answer to Twilight’s call. He wasn’t near Twilight at all. The invisibility spell was still in effect. In order to find him again she would have to release the spell. Reluctantly, Twilight released the spell in the open, in front of a pony walking by.

“Whoa!” said the pony. “Well, that lady did say I might hallucinate smoking this stuff. I can live with cute purple ponies floating around.”

“I’m not a... forget it,” Twilight grumbled. “I have to find Spike fast before he blows this whole operation.”

Twilight looked around to find the baby dragon. Twilight finally found him in line a few ponies behind Fluttershy.

“Spike the Dragon!” Twilight yelled.

“Uh Oh,” Spike said with a cringe. “I must’ve did something wrong.”

“There you are! Do you have any idea-”

“Twilight?” Fluttershy called. “And Spike, too! The universe is smiling on us! How wonderful for us to meet here all at the same time! Are you here to get more buds?”

“Actually I want to try the edibles,” Spike said.

“Spike!” Twilight nudged “Our mission?”

“Yeah, listen, Twilight. I’m going to take a break here. Aside from cannabis stuff there is more stuff I need to pick up for us, and since we’re already here…”

“Well, okay, fine. Just be sure to pick me up some lemon tea.”

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that if this line will go any faster.”

“Yeah,” Fluttershy added. “It does seem slow. You think maybe we can help them move faster?”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea,” Spike cheered.

“C’mon, Twilight. I’m sure Vanilla will be happy to see us.”

“Yeah,” Twilight said with a nervous laugh.

Twilight’s mood was immediately lifted at the thought of Vanilla Kush. She left a big impression on Twilight, yesterday. Twilight continued to live in the moment of thinking fondly of her new friend. But she soon remembered the task at hand. It was then a grave thought came across her mind. If cannabis is proven to do more harm than good then Twilight might not be able to see Vanilla Kush or her family again. What was more important to her, a new friend or the fate of Ponyville? Twilight knew a difficult decision would have to be made soon. In the meantime she followed Spike and Fluttershy to the front of the line to offer a helping hoof.

All of the Kush family was present, struggling to service a long line of customers. Golden and Silver Kush were manning to stands on one side while Vanilla and Strawberry helped on another side. Aurora Indica offered diagnoses to customers, as well. Vanilla saw Twilight and the others. She smiled and waved at them. Twilight blushed and hasted over to her.

“Hey Twilight,” Vanilla happily greeted. “It’s great to see you. I wish I can chat with you now but as you can see, business is good!”

“Oh Vanilla,” Fluttershy said hovering. “It looks like you beautiful ponies could use some help. Can we please lend a hoof, pretty please?”

“My friends,” Golden Kush said with a welcoming half smile. “Help is always appreciated. If you may, my lovely wife can use your help young pegasister and you purplely folks can help us out here.”

Twilight sided with Vanilla, naturally. She and Spike helped take orders while Fluttershy played nurse to Aurora. They had a lot in common and chatted the whole time with each other. With their help they were able to clear the crowds in about half an hour. They took a break after serving Derpy Hooves a bag of medicated muffins.

“Whew, that was a rush,” said a tuckered out Silver.

“Indeed it was, my friend,” added Golden. “And we still have a bit left over. Here, why don’t you helpful folks take your pick of what’s left as thanks for helping us out. You deserve it!”

“Sweet!” cheered Spike. “I’ll take these and these and some of those. Oh and a bag of whatever this stuff is. I like the color.”

“That’s a special strain we’ve been perfecting for years, my friend. Tell him about it Silver.”

“We don’t have a name for it yet but it is a very potent Indica strain. This is the first time we had it for sale.”

“You guys should call it Dragon’s Fire,” Spike said. “Because it looks like the color of my fire, see?”

Spike blew a small ball of green fire to show the Kush’s what he meant.

“Dragon’s Fire, huh?” Golden Kush said rubbing the stubble on his chin. “My friend, I think that might be a fantastic idea.”

Vanilla finished wiping the counters of the stand and chatting with Twilight.

“So Twilight,” Vanilla started “Are you still coming over for dinner tonight? I’m making Strawberry’s favorite: Grilled brussel sprouts!”

“I wouldn’t miss it, Vanilla,” Twilight responded.

Vanilla Kush gave a smile to Twilight. A message was behind that smile. A sense of excitement. Twilight could see that. It was as if the message wasn’t what made her smile but the fact that Twilight said it. It was warm and anxious. This caused Twilight to blush and her heart to speed it’s pace. But a flash of Luna appeared in her mind and she soon came back to her senses.

Twilight spoke up, “But if I want to make it in time, there are some things I have to hurry and get done, first!”

“I understand,” Vanilla said. “I can’t wait!”

“Spike, I’m gonna go finish our mission. Can you meet me at Rarity’s when you’re finished?”

“Sure,” Spike said as he finished packing his goods.

“Thanks.”

Twilight darted off toward Sugarcube Corner. It would seem that Pinkie Pie is next on Twilight’s list. Twilight approached Carrot Cake and Cup Cake’s popular confections shop to find The Cake family leaving for an outing.

“Look it’s Princess Twilight,” Carrot Cake said waving her over. “She’ll know what to do.”

“Hello, Mr. and Ms. Cake. What’s going on?”

“Well, it’s Pinkie Pie,” Carrot Cake said solemnly. “She’s been acting different ever since she started doing pot.”

“Doing pot? Like, getting high?”

“Yeah that! Doing pot! Idunno, I heard somepony at the Hayburger say it. It seemed appropriate.”

“You mean you don’t do it?” Questioned the princess.

“We take the ointment for our achy joints,” Cup Cake started. “But we don’t take any of that stuff the messes with your head. We don’t want to be high around the kids.”

“That is interesting to know, but Is Pinkie Pie okay?

“No! She is not okay. It’s very worrisome. I love Pinkie Pie, almost like my own flesh and blood, here. But we have to think about the children and I don’t want her around here if she’s gonna be like that.”

“What do you mean? Like what?”

“Perhaps, I better show you, dear,” said Cup Cake giving both baby Pumpkin and Pound to their father.

Cup Cake led Twilight upstairs to Pinkie’s room. Unusual gritty music could be heard coming through her closed door along with the pungent odor of marijuana.

“Pinkie Pie, it’s me,” Cup Cake said knocking then entering. “You have a visitor.”

“Yeah…” Pinkie said feigning interest.

“It’s Twilight.”

Twilight entered Pinkie’s room. It was dark and the air was acrid. Pinkie Pie was sitting in her giant beanbag in front of a large box with an illuminating screen. Food and trash surrounded her. She seemed to be playing a game.

“Hey Twilight,” Pinkie said without looking up.

“You girls play nice,” Cup Cake said backing out of the room.

“Okay,” Pinkie said as she turned down her music with a remote control. “But don’t forget to pick up some more cool ranch chips while, you’re out, okay? We ran out.”

“Um, okay…” said the worried Ms. Cake.

“Hey Twi, you trying to hop in and play a round?”

“Play a round of what?” Twilight said sitting down next to Pinkie Pie.

“Call of the Battlefield: Hardline Warfare Strike 2 Pro Edition with all the DLC already unlocked. Me and some Pegasi from Cloudsdale are pwning these Manehatten scrubs.” Pinkie Pie blew up a tank with her C4. “OOOOOH! Get rekt, son. That deserves another hit!”

Pinkie Pie brought out a glass bong of herself as a dolphin and took a few puffs from it. Twilight took this time to take a good look at Pinkie. She didn’t look like herself. Pinkie was wearing sweatpants and it looked like she smeared cheese dust on them a few times. She had acne and her eyes didn’t shine like usual. Her mane was frizzier than normal and she looks a bit bloated.

“Are you feeling okay, Pinkie?”

“Aw yeah, dude, I’m just hungry. Playing games is hard work. It works up an appetite! Hey Twilight you should get one of these! It’s called GameStation360 U. It’s made by Pony! I love it! You can play with ponies all over Equestria. It’s mad dopey… I mean, mad dope! I'm still learning how to talk like a gamer!”

Twilight looked at the game with skepticism. Pinkie blew a helicopter out of the sky. She could hear expletives being shouted at XXxxPinkiePot_420xxXX.

“Yeah, ya motha! HeHe!” Pinkie retaliated. “Oopsies. My mic wasn’t on. OOH! I thought of a better one.” Pinkie unmuted her mic. “Yeah, that’s what I did to your mom, last night! BUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNN!!!!!!”

Twilight was extremely shocked by this behavior. Cannabis has done nothing beneficial for Pinkie Pie. She has gained weight, her attitude is negative, and she has become lazy. This was the sort of thing she was looking for. But she was frightened to have witnessed it firsthoof. She was secretly hoping that Celestia was wrong. But surely Luna knew about something like this. Why would she interfere with her warning, Twilight thought.

The doorbell was rung.

“COMING,” Pinkie Pie yelled, her eyes still fixed to the screen. “Hey Twilight, could you go grab that? I’m still playing. Thanks.”

Twilight reluctantly got up to go check the door. She opened it to see that it was Babs Seed. She was wearing a green vest, similar to Golden and Silver Kush’s.

“Babs, what are you doing here,” Twilight questioned.

“Hey there, Princess,” Babs greeted. “I’m helping out the Kush’s. We’re trying out a delivery service to see how well it works. Me and the crusaders are all doing it. We set up shop in the Clubhouse. The whole thing was my idea. I thought I was going to do it by myself but I told Strawberry’s folks about it and she thought this can be a Cutie Mark Crusader project and, BAM, here I am. We’re accepting donations if you wanna pitch in!”

Twilight playfully rolled her eyes and fetched two bits from her satchel and tossed them to Babs.

“Gee, thanks Princess!”

“So are you delivering something to the Cakes? Because they’re not here right now.”

“Actually-”

“Oh great! You’re here,” Pinkie said bumping Twilight out of the way and onto the ground. “How much I owe you?”

“70 bits, plus tip!” Babs said with her hoof out.

Pinkie Pie gave Babs Seed the bag of bits for an eighth of marijuana. Babs gave it to her in a small plastic baggie. Twilight slowly recovered from her rude encounter. She witnessed the end of the transaction.

“Pleasure doing business with, ya,” Babs said as she began to trot away.

“Yup,” Pinkie said smiling, cradling her bag of weed. “Hey Twilight, wanna join? I ordered this new stuff called Dragon’s Fire. This stuff is dank as buck!”

“Um, no thanks,” Twilight declined. “I’m going to go say hi to Rarity really quick. Wanna come with me?”

“No way! I have a box of pizza I didn’t finish from earlier. I can hear it calling my name: PINKIE! COME EAT ME. So I’m just gonna get high and do that and then pass out! Come over tomorrow if you wanna play!”

“I sure will,” Twilight, said in her best sarcastic tone.

Twilight left Sugarcube Corner and started towards Rarity’s Boutique. She was almost on the verge of tears. She was completely disgusted by what Pinkie has become. She was almost too afraid to go see Rarity. Twilight was upset about what’s going on. Everypony seems to enjoy cannabis. But she found that that it can be very bad for a pony. Princess Celestia seems to have known that already. But if Twilight works to ban cannabis from Ponyville that would mean that many ponies would hate her and she would have to send Vanilla away.

Twilight slowly continued her trek. She took a look at other ponies enjoying their high. There were a group of cults laughing at nothing in particular. One of them dropped an empty bag of chips and just left it on the ground. Twilight happened to catch another pony staring at a door that said push. He was completely out of it. Then Twilight overheard a pony on a soapbox preaching to others about how Princess Celestia is trying to control everypony in Equestria. Twilight picked up her pace to get out of earshot of the radical pony.

“None of this is good,” she said to herself. “I’m afraid I’ll have to make a really tough decision. I guess I can say goodbye to the title: Princess of Friendship. I guess I gotta say goodbye to Vanilla, too.”

Twilight finally approached Rarity’s home. She let herself in and saw that nopony was around. She called out to Rarity to see if she was home.

“I’m in my workroom,” Rarity yelled back.

Twilight made her way upstairs to Rarity’s workroom. She can smell the odor of marijuana from downstairs. Twilight was really nervous to go meet her because Rarity is not a pony she wants to she at her worst. But she wants to hurry up and get this experiment over with.

“Come in, darling, I’m just finishing up.”

Twilight walked in and could not believe what she saw...