That One Lucky Chance

So hello everypony yet again. So I missed my deadline, sue me. Whatever, I got this in finally, and I do hope you enjoy. I shall get one in as soon as I can (Because deadlines are for chumps.) Happy Reading!

"-AND JUST TAKE AND SHOVE DOWN SOMEONE'S ASS!"

Allow me to explain. Or better yet, let me answer this with a question. How the hell do you react to a rainbow-colored flying mare  moving at lightning-fast speeds and colliding with your face? And what's the best way to deal with it without swearing? Well I can give an answer to both. You don't. You just wing it. And as you clearly can see, I really did not wing it.

Well, good thing my head's stuck in a bookshelf, otherwise I'm pretty sure everypony's (already getting sick of the pronoun) head would've exploded from the sheer naughtiness.

Funny thing though, it would've made it worse if I wasn't laughing so hard over the fact that the fucking door flew off it's hinges. Hoho, a sight you will not wanna miss while you're flying face first into a bookshelf. Well, half the wall too I guess.

And that was the feeling. That specific feeling. You know, that one when you were sitting on your ass in a specific way that made it go numb for a second? Well that was that feeling. And you know what happens next?

*POP*

*THUD*

Ladies and gentlemen, my first experience of magic was me getting pulled from my ass out of the wall.

"Well this sucks." Only thing to do now is to wash off this bloody nose now.

"I'm so sorry Tom!" Twilight said hastily. "Rainbow! Apologize!"

"What? How was I supposed to know he wasn't going to hurt you?" Rainbow exclaimed, pushing herself forward towards Twilight.

"You didn't even give him a chance to step outside!"

"Yeah! But you saw what happened! He came out Celestia-knows-where!"

"That's not an excuse! You shouldn't have gone straight to conclusions!"

"Look I already said I'm sorry before!"

"WHEN HE WAS UNCONS- wait where did he go?"

They all twitched their ears to a running faucet being turned off from the kitchen. And so here comes the almighty human, one of its kind! Coming out of kitchen with a wet face and a rolled-up napkin stuffed up his nose.

Only silence lingered.

"......what?"

And there's the trigger.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA" was the simple yet complicated noise filling up the entire library. I swear they were laughing for like 5 minutes now!

"Jesus, how long are you guys gunna laugh for?" I said with most likely steam coming out of my eardrums. Ah cartoon physics, gotta love em sometimes.

"Pfft-no Tom- cckk-it's nothin-pf-nothing reall-HAAAAHAHAHA!" laughed Twilight as she rolled over on the hard wood floor.

"Jesus seems like a cool guy Peachy!" Pinkie piped up before giggling her way across the floor.

'I'm hating this place more and more.'

With a disgruntled facial expression and a slight stomp, I walked to the door and closed it shut. A few moments go by before I realize what the hell I just did.

I walked back inside and closed the door, only to have the door fall back down to the floor.

"Haha Tom! I just had that fixed!" Twilight giggled as she used her magic to screw in the hinges back onto the door.

"Huh. Yeah. So, despite being nearly killed a second ago and was laughed at for stopping a nose bleed," I paused, pulling the napkin out of my nose and promptly flicked it out the window. "What were we doing exactly?" I ask.

"We were going to see Rainbow silly!" Pinkie exclaimed, popping out from under the table. "But wait! *GASP* SHE'S HERE! Rainbow this is Peachy! He's a-" She was cut off with a simple hoof shoved in her mouth.

'I feel like hooves do a better job at shutting someone up then my hands do.....'

"Pinkie I know, Twilight just told me 5 minutes ago!" Rainbow said with an unamused look.

"You still haven't apologized to me properly." I reply with a classic, smug bandit grin.

"Don't push your luck, buddy."

"Eh I'll take it."

So shit. I would say that things are escalating in some sort of form but that would be a very huge overstatement. In fact, I'm nervous in a way. Maybe because there's other beings not my species that would be filled in the town outside the slightly hinged door. Or maybe it's because I'm sobering up. That and because I'm still wary over the fact that I think that if someone sees me they'll react in the same way that Rainbow did a few minutes ago.

Or maybe all three.

Yeah let's go with the latter.

So I grabbed my bag, made sure no one touched my things, and came downstairs.

"So you ready Tom?" Twilight called from the bottom of the steps.

"No," I blankly said, beginning to go down slower. I took a look around the room to find no sign of Rainbow or psycho pink. "Where are the other two?"

"They went down to Sugar Cube Corner to pick up an order Pinkie forgot to bring to one of her customers. Oh yeah that's the place Pinkie works at."

To be really honest, I was kinda pumped to see that place. To see a building that looks like it came out of Hansel and Gredal is like a childhood dream, except it's not a dream, and it's just like a sight that I'd probably react to with a simple 'huh' to. But at the same time, I feel in the adventurous mood. Maybe I'll find a nice place to sit down and smoke later at night. The simple thought made me grin.

"What are you smiling at?" Twilight tilted her head at me.

"Oh nothing, excited for today I guess." I said walking to the door, checking to make sure it wasn't going to fall over again.

Already knowing something unusual, she took a quick pause before shaking it off and heading out the door. So I took my stride and followed her out, and that's where my happy demeanor left me almost immediately.

Eyes.

Eyes everywhere. And you know who they're staring at?

Me.

I didn't know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, but I was acting normal on the outside, but on the inside, I'm losing my shit.

So we took our "lovely" stroll through town, overhearing some hushing, some gasps, and I even saw some mare nearly flip over a stand when she fainted. Oh how badly I wanted to laugh.

But what took me by surprise the most, was how many ponies were actually waving to me!  Holy fuck! And if someone did that back home I'm pretty sure I'd flip them off at the most. But here was a different story. I felt like swearing here would give you a death sentence. Speaking of which I'm pretty sure back in that bookshelf I would've been arrested a good 15 times. But my point is that I hold in all these opportunities to mess with ponies I don't know, and I blow it off. Jesus Christ I just can't do anything about it! It's as if I'm being written in a horrible fanfiction!

Elsewhere, an author sitting on a computer shudders and gets chills for no reason, and shakes it off after drinking some more Mountain Dew.

So if I could describe what I'm feeling right now, it would be pretty awkward. Well I'm pretty sure it's awkward for Twilight too, the poor thing can't even show me around without everypony rushing away from it.

"And here's Bon Bon's stand where....oh they're gone. Oh and.... aww."

"Ok so, get to the point, where exactly are we going?" I grunted, leaving behind a slightly frustrated facial expression.

"Ugh, we're going to Fluttershy's, we're going to see if we can get something fix that gash in your neck."

"A gash? What?" I feel my hand on the back of my neck and sure enough, I felt some pain, pulling my hand back and noticing a slight stain of blood on my fingers.

'Huh. Surprised I didn't notice that.'

"So about how far down are we going?" I ask.

"About a mile and a half." She said, keeping her eyes straight, not daring to look around at the ponies staring back at us.

"Ughhh."

She turned her head. "What? It's not that far."

"I know, but you didn't have your head smashed through a bookshelf."

"At least I didn't have the bright idea of shoving tissues up my nose after having a nose bleed." She smirked.

"....I'm not going to enjoy this."

"You don't have to now come on." She picked up the pace a little, pretty much forcing me to keep up with her with the little twitches of pain in my head.

'I'm sure as hell this place is alot more fun baked than it is sober.'

So we finally arrived at the so called 'cottage.' It's funny, because people described Fluttershy's house as a cottage. Cool. It looks more like a cool treehouse/doghouse hybrid with a sideways double door. As we approached the door, Twilight was just about to knock, before I stopped her.

"What? What is it?"

"Well..." 'FUCK! I forgot! I'm not supposed to remember the ponies name's otherwise they'll think something's fishy! Think of something quick!'

"Is Fluttershy by any chance......shy?" I ask giving a sheepish smile.

She paused before tilting her head to the side. "How did you know that?"

'......I'm going to burn this place in a passion so great it'll get me high.'

"I...don't know, just a guess...I guess." I answer back, hand scratching my neck already feeling the itchyness coming in.

So she turns and knocks on the door and waits about 30 seconds before a creak of the doorway peeks open and a small eyeball comes from the side.

'.....the d'awww meter is near full about now.'

"Oh, Twilight! Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to keep you...." And then the sudden eye-widening, slight head-raising, terror-filled facial expression meets me when she sees this tall monstrous looking primate behind Twilight.

"Uh, Hi?"

"-Are you a herbivore like other monkeys? Oh my goodness I haven't seen a creature like you! I'm sorry, I would've gotten prepared if I knew this! So sorry, would you like anything?"

'Holy shit she just talked at the speed of Pinkie.'

Unfortunately for me, she noticed the cut on the back of my neck, and I swear I thought she was gunna go overprotective mom on my ass.

"GASP! Oh, nononono you poor little monkey you!"

"Little?"

"We gotta get that fixed up for you! I'm so sorry I'll be right back!" And so she zipped upstairs to grab who-knows-what, probably a first aid kit.

"I'm assuming she's not like that normally." I ask, giving a deadpanned look.

"Nope."

OHHHHHH SNAP SON. The plot is progressing! (Finally.) So with where my story is going, I can assure you that this may stick around for a while. So until next update!