Xenophobia

Punishment

The following is a series of recordings taken in the ‘Ponyville’ area, prior to the Invasion of Canterlot.

POWER GRID ACTIVE.

STARTUP INITIATED. WELCOME

“Sup, Mother. Ya miss me?”

PLEASE PROVIDE THE PROPER CREDENTIALS.

“Love you, too… lets see… jay-ee-arr aye-ess aye-doubleyou-ee-ess-oh-ehm-ee sixty-nine.”

PASSWORD ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK

“Good to be back. Now let’s see to them probes, heah.”

ACTIVATE AUDIO RELAYS Y/N?

“Aaaand… Poink!”

AUDITORY RELAYS ACTIVE. RETRIEVAL IN PROGRESS.

/--/ COLLATING…

/--/ COLLATING…

/--/ AUDIO RETRIEVAL COMPLETE.

“Hmmmm… two days ago… probe one.”

YOU HAVE SELECTED AUDIO CACHE ONE. PROCEED? Y/N?

BEGINNING PLAYBACK.

→/←

“Skrrtzzzt-t-t—Hey! Uhm… I mean, hello? Is, uhm, anypony home? Zecora?” *bang-rap-bang* “Hello?”

*creeaak*

“Ah, good morning pegasus of mane so fair. What is your purpose here at my lair?”

“Jer sent me…”

“…”

“He said you had something planned as… punishment?”

“…”

“Zecora… you’re kinda creepin’ me out… could you look me in the eye please? Zecora?”

“I… apologize, Miss Dash, if my greeting seems rather rash. I’m not accustomed to such fine company. Especially not from somepony so… shapely.”

“Umm… Yeah, s-sure. About the punishment?”

“Don’t fret my dear. You’ll see soon enough: you need not fear.”

“Ohhh-kay… so just follow you, then?”

“…”

“Okay.”

*clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop-clip…*

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…

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…

…

“WHAT IS THAT USED FOR?!?!”

→/←

FURTHER DIALOGUE FOREIGN IN NATURE.

PROCEED WITH PHONETIC TRANSLATION? Y/N?

“—ahahahahaHA! Oh, God that’s… that’s… AHAHA—”

PROCEED WITH PHONETIC TRANSLATION? Y/N?

“Au-Audio—snrktahaha! P-Probe t-two. Heh… hehe…two days ago… heehee…”

YOU HAVE SELECTED AUDIO CACHE TWO. PROCEED? Y/N?

“Get on with it, Mother!”

BEGINNING PLAYBACK.

→//←

“… and then Rose told me that he didn’t even send her a letter afterward!”

*GASP*

“The horror!”

“But that’s not even the worst part! At the spa, yesterday, Goldie told me that…”

PLAYBACK FAST FORWARD.

/--/ →→

→

→

PLAYBACK RESUME.

“… went to that party last weekend, right?”

“The one with the two giant monkey things?”

“Yeah. That ‘un.”

“No, but I met them in the Hayseed afterward.”

“After your set? How’d Chuckles do?”

“Fine, as usual. The crazy colt just keeps coming up with new stuff. I just wish more ponies came out to his show, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know. If that indecisive, marshmallow mare hadn’t taken so long to pick a stupid pair of curtains down at Q & S I woulda made it out to see ‘im.”

“You don’t need to make excuses, Davenport. It’s fine.”

“I know, Cymbal… what were we talkin’ ‘bout earlier?”

PLAYBACK FAST FORWARD.

/--/ →→

→

“… then what happened, Darling?”

“Well, I kind of slammed the door in his face.”

“What?!? Twilight, dear, this is Big Macintosh we’re talking about! Big FREAKING Macintosh!”

“Rarity!”

*ahem!*

“Your orders, mademoiselles?”

“Oh… yes. Terribly sorry, Stablesworth. I’ll have the garden salad and… Twilight?”

“The same.”

“Thank you, mademoiselles. I vill be right back vith your orders.”

*clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop*

…

…

…

“I… I’m sorry about that, dear. It’s just that… he’s so… BIG!”

“I realize that, Rarity. His name sort of implies, umm… size.”

“Why are you not taking advantage of this?! The most coveted stallion in town is practically yours!”

“I just… I’ve never thought about anypony like that before.”

“Please, please, PLEASE just talk to him! You shan’t regret it!”

“Fine. He… is rather handsome, after all.”

“You’re blushing~!”

“Shuddup, Rarity…”

PLAYBACK PAUSE.

“Hehe… Nice job, Mac. Future’s lookin’ bright. Lets see what else we got here. Hmmm… probe three, yesterday.”

YOU HAVE SELECTED AUDIO CACHE THREE. PROCEED? Y/N?

BEGINNING PLAYBACK.

→///←

*tinkle-jingle*

“Heya, Twilight! What’s up?”

“Hi, Pinkie. Have you seen Rainbow anywhere? I’ve been meaning to ask her about what happened a few days ago and I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Didja ask Applejack?”

“Yeah… she won’t tell me anything. She kept saying something like: ‘she up and got herself whupped’. I’m afraid she might have hurt herself or something.”

“Well… I did get a tingly in my tummy yesterday morning. That usually means either it’s gonna rain, or something weird happened to Dashie.”

“Something… weird? Nothing specific?”

“Silly Twilight: it doesn’t work that way! I have to shower leftways, second!”

“Whuh? What is that supposed—you know what? Nevermind. She’s not hurt, right?”

“Nopey-lopey!”

*tinkle-jingle*

“Heya, Carrot Top! Here for your ‘special’ carrot cake?”

“Pinkie. How many times have I told you? My name is Golden Harvest.”

“Here ya go!” *clunk*

*sigh*

“Thanks, Pinkie…”

*jingle-jingle*

“…”

“You do know ‘Carrot Top’ isn’t her real name, right?”

“Sorry Twilight, I can’t hear you. You’ll have to speak up.”

“Wha—”

*jingle-ring*

“Heya, Fluttershy!”

“Hi Pinkie. Hi Twilight. Umm… I found Rainbow. She said she’d be over in a bit, but when she gets here, don’t mention the giant—”

*ring-a-ling*

“SNAKE!”

“PINKIE! I said don’t mention—”

“It’s okay guys, really…”

“Rainbow… why is there a python wr-wrapped around your midsection?”

“Is he your new pet? Ohmygosh! Gummy has a new playmate!”

“Snakes and crocodiles don’t generally get along very well, Pinkie.”

“Twilight. You’re mumbling again. You really need to work on that if you want ponies to understand you.”

“Rainbow… you look terrible… what is that brown gunk?”

“W-What happened to you?”

“Zecora’s hut…”

“Why were you at Zecora’s hut? Is that where you met Mr. Wiggly, here?”

“H-Her name is Doma… and yes. I was there as punishment for smashing Zecora’s door and breaking half of her medicine flasks… along with some other things.”

“Um… if you d-don’t mind me asking… what was your p-punishment?”

“So… so much POLISHING! Why would she even have a ‘rack’? Those weren’t even used during Discord’s reign…”

“Rainbow?”

“…and the syrup! Why! That’s not even fun anymore! It’s just sticky! I’m gonna have to shower for a whole day!”

“Ummm…”

“I can’t even walk right anymore… I was bent over for hours…”

“Celestia, Rainbow! Z-Zecora did WHAT to you?!?”

“I don’t even know where she got half those things… where to you buy something that big! Prob *hic!* Probably found it somewhere... or got it in Zebrica, I guess.”

“I… I didn’t know Zecora was like that…”

“Coming-Out Party!”

“Pinkie! Not now! Dash? Are you all right? Do we need to… get somepony, or something?”

“Nah, I just need a bath. It wasn’t even really that bad now that I think about it.”

“Ummm... R-Rainbow. If you don’t mind, c-could you, maybe, tell us exactly what happened. Because, umm… it kinda sound like you and Zecora… ummm…”

“I didn’t know you were like that either, Dashie! Good for you! Maybe we can make it a Double-Coming-Out Party! Are you two together now? Or was it a one time thing?”

“Huh? What do you mean ‘like that’?”

“Rainbow. When you say ‘punishm—”

“So, Dashie, is Zecora any good?”

“Eh, I’ve seen better.”

“Really? Who?”

“Well, Fluttershy, for one.”

“EEEP!” “WHAT?!?!?”

“Whoah! Luna’s crown, calm down! What did I say? *erk* Ey! Let, up back there, Slippery!”

“Fluttershy? Is… is this true?”

“TRIPLE COMING-OUT PARTY! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! I’M GONNA GO PLAN!!!”

“N-No! P-Pinkie! I didn’t—eeep!”

“I have no idea what’s going on anymore. I have to go take Doma over to Redheart’s to make anti-venom. She bit Boaris while we were feeding all of them yesterday. Weirdest punishment ever. I swear.”

“Wait, wait, wait… what was your ‘punishment’?”

“Uh, I had to help her take care of her animals all day… what? It’s harder than it sounds, what, with all the poisonous snakes and pissy Everfree creatures.”

“I… I thought…”

“Awwwww! No Coming-Out Party?”

“Y-You said I-I was better… at taking care of animals?”

“Well, duh! What did you guys think I meant?”

“I… never mind. Don’t ask… wait… you said she had a ‘rack’! Like the torture device?!”

“Yeah. She needed me to crack her back. It takes two ponies to operate that thing, y’know.”

“And… the syrup?”

“Sad Simba likes sugar… and hugs, apparently. Need a shower…”

“Oh… phew… haha… that’s a relief.”

*ring-a-ling*

“Where’re you off to, Flutters?”

“Oh… um… just to go, umm, checkonAngelbye!”

*jingle-jingle-jingle-jingle!*

“Pinkie. Put those party supplies away. No. Just no.”

PLAYBACK PAUSE.

“Where are you off to, Dearie?”

YOU HAVE SELECTED AUDIO CACHE ONE. PROCEED? Y/N?

“Fast forward a bit…”

PLAYBACK FAST FORWARD.

/--/ →

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→

→

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*knock-knock-knock*

“Zecora?”

“Hello Ms. Fluttershy, apple of mine eye. I ask you, kind mare. How do you fare?”

“You can drop it, Stripey, dear. Nopony’s here but us.”

“Oh, thank Docaro. I was stuck talking like that all day, yesterday.”

“I heard. No funny business with Dash.”

“Haha! You think me unfaithful, Mistress Fluttershy?”

“I don’t know, slave. Let’s test your faith… um, if that’s okay with you…”

“Let’s go ‘crack my back’. I know that’s your favorite, Mistress.”

PLAYBACK PAUSE.

“M-Mother... set probe one to self destruct. Oh God…”

AUDIO CACHE ONE SET FOR SELF DESTRUCTION. PROCEED? Y/N?

/--/ COMPLETING…

PROBE ONE TERMINATED.

“I think I need to lie down…”

YOU HAVE SELECTED AUDIO CACHE FOUR. PROCEED? Y/N?

“Buuuut I should probably check on Scoots first…”

BEGINNING PLAYBACK: REAL TIME.

→////←

“… ank flank AND you don’t have any parents? You really are the lowest of the low.”

“Yeah. I heard orphans don’t even get their special talents. Something about the magic of family.”

“I…*sniff* I…”

“Leave her alone, Diamond Tiara! Who asked you anyway?!”

“Shut up, Sweaty Belch. No one has to ask me. I’m gracing you blank flanks with my opinion. Go back home to your sister’s tacky little boutique.”

“H-Hey! Leave her outta this!”

“Scootaloo, don’t! It’s not worth it!”

“I would say that my dad could beat up your dad, but… Oh! You don’t have one!”

“You wanna say that to my face?!”

I just did, stupid! Where have you been sleeping, huh? An orphanage? The hospital? I bet you’ve always lived someplace for poor families, even when you did have parents! Pshh. My dad wouldn’t even have to fight yours. He could’ve just given him a couple bits to beat himself up!”

“Graa!”

*scuffle-thump-scrape*

*vroom… vroom-vroom-vroooooooooooooooo…*

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…

“Jer? Why is Mother on? Jer? … Audio cache? Jer set up probes?”

“I’ll *pant* tell my father about this, Blank Flank. Whatever orphanage or whatever you’re staying at is so getting shut down!”

“Fuck you, *huff* Diamond Tiara! Your father is a stuck up piece of shit!”

“Ha! Did you even go to school before you came here? Those aren’t even words! Everypony knows you say bu—”

“Children! What is the meaning of this!”

“Scootaloo started a fight, Ms. Cheerilee!”

“She did not!”

“Stay OUT of this, Sweetie! I… I c-can handle—”

*ooooooooooooooooooooooooo-skreeetch!*

“What are you supposed to b—oof!”

“M-Mr. Hanes! What are you doing! Unhand that child, immediately!”

“J-Jer?”

“Hey, Scoots. Just one second, kay?”

“P-Put me down! My fath—”

“I’ll kill your father with my bare hands, then eat him along with the rest of your pompous, sniveling family.”

*whimper*

“Mr. Hanes!”

“Back off, pony! I’m having a discussion!”

“Tiara! What’s going on?!”

“Come here Silver Spoon. Stay behind me.”

“Jer! Please don’t hurt her! She’s just a bully!”

“Not now, Sweetie Belle. The adult is talking.”

*shink*

“PONIES DON’T TALK WITH KNIVES, MR. HANES!”

“I’m NOT a FUCKING PONY!”

“Shit… Mother, power down.”

*thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump*

→////←

POWER GRID SHUTDOWN.

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