If I had a narrator that narrated my adventures, he would most likely say something along the lines of:

When we last left our hero, he had been transported to what looked like a peaceful version of the dangerous Equestrian Wasteland. He's relatively safe, for now. However, the inhabitants are not happy with Arceus's irrational thinking, which caused the pokémon of Miles' world to be moved to Equus, a new world full of potential.

Now in a world filled with sudden chaos and fear, our hero must find familiar faces if he is to keep his sanity intact. But first, he must escape the wrath of a lady with her privacy invaded...

Yeah, that sounds about right, imaginary voice in my head.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU... SCOUNDREL!!" The white pony shouted behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I caught a quick glimpse of my pursuer. It only took one second, however, before I snapped my head straight, shivering. You couldn't pay me to look back again.

I had never seen such... fury or fire in the eyes before. Looking at the mare's furious eyes was like glancing at hell itself. It was never meant to be seen by mortals...

After flinging a can of hairspray at my head, she kept berating me for my rudeness. "YOU RUFFIAN! STOP NOW SO I CAN GIVE YOU A FITTING PUNISHMENT!" She tossed a hairbrush at me.

I pathetically shielded my head from the beauty products assaulting me, and I attempted (and failed) to express my regret for the situation. "I'm so sorry, lady! I didn't know you lived there! I swear, just yesterday the place was in shambles! Not that I'm insulting your home or anything! It's really quite- OW- lovely!"

"I have no idea what you're saying to me... Greninja, but if you're trying to apologize to me, then do it TO MY FACE!" Some weird gel was catapulted towards my rear end at that. It didn't occur to me until later that the mare was a unicorn, and that she was using her 'magic' to telekinetically throw her belongings at my defenseless form.

"I'M SAYING I AM SORRYYY!" Another hairspray can landed forcefully on the back of my cranium. "OUCH! Watch it, lady! You could put someone's eye out with that kind of strength! OW!"

The ponies and pokémon alike were gaping at the comedic scene unfolding before them. Pokémon snickered and shook their heads at me, knowing all too well what hell awaits when you get a female pissed off at you. The ponies, who couldn't understand my side of the conversation either, still got the gist of the situation at hand.

It continued for what felt many agonizing hours... but in actuality, it was merely forty-five minutes. But it was the longest forty-five minutes of my life!

...Okay, that's a lie. But I'm not about to divulge any information on that horrible third-grade play. But enough dirt on Mrs. Terwilliger's bad directing skills, I'm telling a story on how I was assaulted by hair products by a white unicorn pony.

Sometimes I worry for my sanity, did I ever mention that?

I knew what had to be done. There was only one course of action to take in order to escape my doom. I had to lose her.

Benny Hills-style.

With the theme seemingly playing out of nowhere, I shifted gears and sprinted away from my pursuer. At the time, I just assumed that the tune was merely in my head, and not being played for all to hear from some unknown force. That was something I later learned was not the case.

I led her on a wild goose chase all around town. When she was looking for me by that gingerbread house, I was at the dentist's down the street. When she was at the dentist's down the street, I was at the quiet little cafe a few blocks down. When she was at the quiet little cafe a few blocks down, she almost followed me to the dance club across town, until a grey mare with a bowtie and british accent (I didn't even know that was a thing here) pointed her towards the fountain where I actually was.

She cornered me at the fountain, catching me off guard, but I still kept going. I had nowhere to run to without her knowing about it, so I desperately ran circles around the fountain. It was a goddamn merry-go-round. I don't know which would've happened first if we didn't stop: collapse from exhaustion, or hurl. Luckily, she was so fixated on running around and around and around and around and around and-

"HUH?!" I heard her say. She was wondering how I suddenly vanished from existence. In reality, I had ducked into the fountain. Thank Arceus I was a water-type, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't hold my breath that long after that work-out.

She left the area for a moment, which gave me just the right amount of time to leave the fountain and hide somewhere else.

A minute later, I was sitting on a park bench next to a minty-green unicorn mare. She was sitting... a lot like a human. I didn't dwell on it as I thumbed through the newspaper, wondering if every team in the universe known as "The Colts" were horrible. The white doom-bringer stomped up to me, and asked me if I saw a giant blue monster run by here.

I lowered the comically large paper from my face, revealing my ingenious disguise of a fedora and over-sized black mustache. She didn't recognize me as I pointed in the exact opposite direction I intended to go, indicating where the one she was after went that way. She thanked me and started galloping in that direction, before she came to an abrupt halt, kicking up dirt in the process. Damn, should've known that wouldn't have worked. She shot a death glare at the spot I was just at a second ago, but I was not there. It was just a dust cloud and a pathetic disguise floating down in it's wake as I ran for my life the other way.

The angry pony and I found ourselves in a part of town where the houses were a little too close for fire safety reasons, but was perfect for dashing in and out of their doors all over the place like a damn cartoon. Don't ask me why the inhabitants left all of the doors unlocked, or why they didn't freak out when a nearly five-foot blue frog and unhinged unicorn ran straight through their kitchen and out the side door.

That shit went on for a few minutes, after we finished dashing in and out and in and out again so fast that I could've sworn there were three clones of us running around, and a pink pony riding a Sharpedo on a unicycle joined in on the fun for a second. I ended when I collided face first into the last person-er-pony I wanted to see.

She was surprised for a moment, but her eyes went from confusion to murderous almost instantly. She was floating that can of hairspray dangerously close to my eyes, so tried to think of something.

I'll admit, I'm not the fastest thinker, so there was only one solution I could think of, and it would only buy me a few seconds at most before she got even angrier. But I didn't hesitate when she popped the lid off the can.

I kissed her.

I made a dramatic MMMMMMMWAH! as I did it, then bolted right out of her face. I probably made Bugs Bunny proud there.

END MUSIC

After that goof fest, the two of us were nearing an odd tree. It seemed to be a perplexing mish-mash of a scholar's laboratory, a library, and a large oak tree. Despite it's surprisingly warm exterior, I couldn't help but possess a foreboding feeling towards the tree. Maybe it existed in my subconscious, a brief glimpse of the plant in my memories. Perhaps I had seen it before?

Before that train of thought could leave the station, however, I felt all of my limbs lock up instantaneously. I was frozen in place, for lack of a better term for it. Caught in mid-run. I probably looked goofy in the pose, but at the moment I was caught off guard, and scared out of my mind.

I didn't want someone to push the pause button on me. I still had an angry woman pursuing my ass!

I tentatively turned my head over my shoulder, praying that I wasn't stuck right where she wanted me, and hoping that if she was, she would at least be quick about my death. To my astonishment, the mare was frozen in place as well. The female in all of her disheveled glory was surrounded by a horrifyingly familiar purple aura, upset that she was interrupted in giving me judgement.

For a moment, I panicked. I don't know if I got one too many hairbrushes to the noggin, or I was still a little tired myself from my rude awakening, but I honestly thought that the mad-mare had come back from the dead, and somehow followed me to this overly-bright town.

NO NO NO NO NO! NOT HER! I'd rather be brutally beaten by the white girl than be part of some psychopath's sick fetish! Hey, in my mind it didn't sound racist, so shut up...

Shifting my gaze around the vicinity, I located the source of the telekinetic intervention. I relaxed when I saw the source was not the killer mare, but a... purple unicorn with wings. Dammit, I'd be more relieved if this world would just stop throwing insane things at me!

The purple pony, which was (surprise, surprise, surprise) yet another mare, levitated the white unicorn towards her while keeping me pinned in place. "Rarity?" She spoke, "What's going on? Why is all of Ponyville in a panic? We just calmed things down!"

Panic? Is standing around and gawking at me considered panic? I spared a glance to the rest of the population of this small town. To my surprise, they were running around and screaming, pony and pokémon alike. Oh. Nevermind...

This seemed to just register with Rarity as well, as she saw the commotion happening through shocked eyes. "Oh dear... I GREATLY apologize, darling! I had no idea that brute and I made such a mess!"

The purple unicorn with wings set her friend down with a sigh. "And here I was finally starting to feel like I'm being helpful as a princess."

AND a princess on top of all that. Sure, WHY NOT?

Rarity looked at her right in the eyes, conviction heavy in her voice. "Oh no no no, Twilight! This is not your fault at all. You had everything under control before we scared everypony else!" She smiled sheepishly. "The fact that you even calmed all of Ponyville down somewhat within a day just goes to show how great you actually are."

Princess Twilight gave the white unicorn a small smile. She sighed again, but without as much sadness this time. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Rarity. I have to be good at something, right?"

She turned towards me, her tone shifting once she got an eyeful of me. "So Rarity, who's your friend here, anyway?"

Rarity's face grimaced when the topic went in my direction, and I wasn't too comfortable with being levitated closer to the two girls to get a better look. I gulped as she disdainfully narrowed her eyes. "This gentleman here was caught sneaking into my bedroom, and standing far too close to my bedside to be considered legal."

The purple princess scrunched face. "Is this true...erm... may we call you "Greninja" for now?" I shrugged, not really knowing an alternative seeing as how she still had yet to put me down.

"Okay, Mr. Greninja, is what Miss Rarity said true?"

I thought for a moment. No, not really. I didn't sneak in so much as teleport in. And how was I supposed to know somebody was living here? Last I remember, this entire world was in shambles! Come to think of it, where am I? This couldn't really be the same world, right? It just doesn't make any sense.

But, if we're being technical here, I sort of snuck into the boutique, but that was a completely different scenario, and it was in the fucking "Twilight Zone" version of this place! Arceus, I'm so confused...

My head had too many question marks floating around inside to make sense of the situation, so I opted for just shrugging. It was a better idea than nodding or shaking my head, at least.

"You don't know? What do you mean, you don't know?" Princess Twilight questioned. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a better idea. "If you don't know, than do you at least have an explanation as to what you've been doing all this time while the other Pokémon have already made themselves known?"

Dammit, quit putting more questions in my head and just give me answers, woman!

At this point, she put me down, ready to question my intentions. I decided that if I wanted that metaphorical "Get out of jail free" card, I needed to fess up. Taking a deep breath, I told my entire story to the two of them. I didn't care if it sounded insane, I needed to get it off my chest.

I opened my mouth, information gushing out in waves as I spoke. And I shall quote Rarity here as how she heard it: "Greninja gre ninja gre gre nin gre ja grenin jagren greninja. Ninja gre ja gre gre ninja gre ninja ja. Greninja ninja nin JA gre gre ja nin grej!" This sctick continued for the next five minutes or so, and I talked as vividly and clearly as possible. I even added in exaggerated hand gestures to go along with my speech. "GRE NIN JA!" I sighed loudly, having finally made my defense for accidentally wandering in on a lady's private quarters.

Two mares deadpanned, their faces telling me that my explanation was not clear. I was silent for a moment, wondering if what I said was too crazy to understand. Then my eyes widened as I smacked my face. Of course they didn't understand it, idiot! There's a one-way language barrier here!

A minute of an awkward silence fell over us. My face was red, and their's were blank.

"Well..." Twilight finally said, breaking the silence with a slightly sarcastic tone, "that sure clears things up."

"Grenin..." I halfheartedly replied, not even bothering to actually say something in pokélish.

Rarity giggled softly. "Your words, darling, not mine!" The princess next to her stifled a giggle.

I crossed my arms and glared at them.

"Okay, okay, we're sorry." Twilight responded with a sheepish grin, "But seriously, I can't understand a word you say without a Psychic-type to translate, Mr. Greninja. I just don't know where the nearest one went, so I'm afraid your story will have to be told again some other time."

It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea how these ponies even knew what a pokémon was, or how the panic that would ensue could be taken of so quickly. If a Psychic-type could make it's way into the picture, however, than so many things could be cleared up.

Every psychic-type I know has the ability to communicate telepathically with anyone, which seems to include ponies. Which meant that if I ever found a Psychic-type, then talking to the inhabitants of the new world I'm on would be possible.

Rarity cleared her throat, reminding me that she wasn't finished with me yet. I gulped before I turned to face her, ready to accept fate and go down like a man.

"Well, Mr. Greninja, we still have the issue at hand to solve. And if what you said was any sort of explanation for yourself... then I suppose I could let you go if you apologize."

I blinked. She wasn't seriously going to let me live, was she? The unicorn had the murderous glint in her eye not ten minutes ago!

I did not want to squander this opportunity to make up with somebody I pissed off. I nodded, and held out my hand. I tried not to think about how it was a weird Greninja hand, with only three fingers and how it was webbed as she placed her surprisingly pristine hoof in it. We shook... appendages, due to neither of us having actual hands, just front feet accustomed to things like this. I then stood up straight, and bowed as a sign of sincerity.

I'm grateful for peaceful times like this, because it's then that I can take note of details that would escape me at times I'm fighting for my life. I say this because I noticed that I stood about a foot taller than the ponies at full height, yet my normal stance (a ready crouch) was half of that, meaning I usually had to look up at the equines.

Weird.

Princess Twilight smiled. "I'm glad that you two were able to work out your differences. Rarity," She turned to face her friend, her smile turning into a sheepish one, "You should probably go and fix yourself up a bit."

Rarity tilted her head. "Whatever do you mean, darling? Do I not look my best?"

Twilight silently opened a window from her house with her magic, and levitated a hand mirror over to her. The diva looked into the glass, and immediately had a look of absolute horror. She ws quiet for a few moments, staring unblinking at the object before-

"AHHHHHHHHH!!"

The pony sprinted away at a speed I didn't even know was physically possible, running towards her not-so-humble abode in a panic.

I only stared in awe at the over-dramatic display of self-consciousness while the princess sighed once again. "Poor Rarity. She always works so hard to maintain a gorgeous image..." she said almost to herself. She looked at me, her nose scrunching. "And Mr. Greninja?" I looked at her back. "Maybe you should go apologize to the other citizens for scaring them all."

My gaze shifted back towards the rest of the town. Pokémon and ponies were still panicking, but they were somewhat calmer now. I groaned audibly as I went to go find a stick to write in the dirt with. No sense in going over to say I'm sorry if they don't understand what I'm doing in the first place, right?

Dammit...

Author's Note

So sorry for the long wait and unsatisfying update, guys. I have no excuses...