On the four hundred seventy-first day of her reign over friendship, books, magic, and occasionally dorkiness, Princess Twilight Sparkle got wet.
It started the way an alarming number of her adventures started, with a visit from Pinkie Pie. "Hi Twilight!" she declared, bouncing into the kitchen where said pony was glaring at her coffee.
"GAH!" Twilight yelped, jumping into the table and rattling her steaming beverage. "How'd you get in here?!"
Pinkie bounced over to her friend, enveloping her in a hug. "Through the front door. Like I always--well, usually do!"
"Buh? But... how'd you get past the motion sensors?"
"Oh Twilight, for a mare as smart as you, you sure can be a silly filly some times. What do motion sensors detect?
"Um, motion?"
"Right! So to get past them, all I have to do is not move! Easy peasy!"
Twilight rubbed her eyes. "Right. Too early for paradoxes. I'm going to accept your Pinkielogism. What's up Pinks?"
Pinkie burst into a rather large grin. "I am sooo glad you asked! Wellllll...
♫This is a singing telegram to help with a great cause!
We're raising money for research on muscle control-loss.♬
Celestia, and Discord, and dear Princess Twilight too,♩
♪I give you all a challenge and one day to see it through.♭♫
♮♬Please donate ten bits in good will and then upon your head
Dump a bucket of ice water and then this message spread. ♯♪
♩But should you chicken out because you fear the cold wet mess,♪
You oughtta give one hundred bits to help fight ALS!!!♮♬
Having finished her song, Pinkie exploded into bits of colored confetti. One fluttered down into Twilight's coffee.
Twilight sighed, creakily dismounting from her stool. She trotted down the stairs into the staff lounge (Being a princess did have its benefits, like staff.) and toward the bulletin board. There, she erased one number on a sign and wrote in another. It has been 0 days since Pinkie Pie last exploded. Twilight scrunched her nose. She needed more coffee. A lot more.
As Pinkie pie traversed the distance between Ponyville and Canterlot, she briefly considered the irony of being able to pinch space-time on account of being herself, yet little else on account of not actually having fingers. Before this brief consideration could stretch into something lengthier like perhaps long johns, she arrived in Canterlot Castle's empty throne room, where Princess Celestia was--wait no, it was empty. Pinkie scrunched her face at the lack of ponies in the room, the only sounds coming from the annoying smooth jazz muzak that always seemed to hang about the building like a bad fart. Where did that music come from anyway? No matter; that could be pondered another day. Today, Pinkie had a message to deliver, and a quick glance at a serendipitously placed wall clock revealed that delivering it here meant waiting forty-five minutes for its intended recipient to arrive, forty-five minutes Pinkie Pie simply couldn't afford to waste.
Hmmm. She could spare an hour for fun and avoid annoying nobles at the same time. See, that's why she was princess. She knew how to multitask. She grabbed a permanent marker and fished around behind a cabinet for some poster board. Having found it, she scrawled a quick message upon it in the Royal Canterlock Voice.
ATTENTION PETITIONERS: CELESTIA'S 11 AM
ROYAL COURT SESSION HAS BEEN MOVED
TO PONYVILLE. AFTERNOON COURT WILL BE
HELD IN THE THRONE ROOM AS USUAL.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING.
~CELESTIA
It's spreading on their social media like wildfire! Here, it's been more like a slow burn. Fortunately, pictures and sound crystals still capture the message pretty well I think.
And it's really sad Twilight! I don't like sad things! That's why I'm doing this. I want people to be happy!
Well, based on my experience when I went through the mirror last year, Pinkie's slightly garbled secondhoof knowledge, and some weird cryptozoology books I borrowed from Lyra,
I mean, the closest thing ponies really have is magic decay syndrome, or MDS. Actually, based on what Pinkie's told me, it's a pretty good, well, not good. ... Um, appropriate analogous disease. Except you, know, MDS doesn't kill you."
Appplejack wrinkled her brow, the twang in her voice accented by worried curiosity. "Twilight, I may be a country gal, but I'd like to consider myself to be fair enough educated. How come I ain't never heard of this MDS?"
"See, that's the thing," the princess responded. "It's very rare. There's probably only a few thousand ponies in all of Equestria who have it. Probably no more than half a dozen ponies in Ponyville. And, I mean, it's not really one of those diseases--er, syndromes, sorry-- that ponies like to talk about. Losing your magic is a pretty taboo subject.
"I can imagine why!" Rarity said. "Losing the powers you've used all your life? Simply dreadful. Pinkie and AJ, I guess you can consider yourselves lucky not to worry."
Ten glaring eyes bore down on the mare, and Rarity giggled nervously. "Well, um, I mean, certainly it's not... not as bad for an earth pony. Right?"
Rainbow was half a second from yelling at Rarity, but Applejack took tail grabbing duty with the usual dose of "Simmer down, Sugar. She's just misinformed."
Twilight instead addressed Rarity. "Rares, you of all ponies should know better; we've been over this before. Can you imagine Pinkie slowly loosing her ability to throw amazing parties and defy the laws of physics? Or Applejack losing her remarkable bucking strength and stamina?"
"Well, I guess I didn't think of that.
Outline:
The mane six all dump it on twilight.
I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I nominate my B.B.B.F.F. Shining Armor, who I double dare to do it in the snow; Princess Luna, who can't cheat (Luna, you know what I'm talking about!); and Super Trampoline, for telling Pinkie about this in the first place. You all have twenty four hours!
Her ears twiched beefore her mind registered what was wrong.Twilight gaped in horror at the sound of six buckets of ice water falling toward her.
"AAAAGGHHHHHHHH!" Oh my stars that's cold! Sweet Crabapple pie!
