"You must be insane."

Equestria is the worst place in existence. It wasn't always so bad though. Legend tells that Equestria used be the happiest of places. Then the ponies of Equestria got greedy. Their greed led them down the path to war. They fought with a neighboring Zebra nation over different kinds of rocks. Things escalated rather quickly and soon megaspells rained down from the sky and covered the land in balefire. The happiest place in the world was reduced to a hellish wasteland. Most ponies died.

Some however, were able to take shelter in massive, underground fallout shelters known as Stables. When they emerged, they set out across the ruins of the old world to build new societies. They established villages and formed tribes. The residents of Stable Twenty-eight only remained inside for roughly eighty years. When they finally did venture outside they set out to explore and meet other survivors. They soon discovered that the other survivors of the great war weren't nearly as peace loving and friendly as them.

As a result they never again ventured too far from their Stable. Sometimes they would wander out to trade for extra food or weapons with which to fend off the occasional raider attack. Mostly, however, the ponies of Stable Twenty-eight lived very sheltered lives for more than a century.

Sortilege Harmony was born in Stable Twenty-eight. Growing up she wasn't the most social of fillies. She had friends and was generally well liked but for the most part she was very solitary. She preferred to be left alone, to read a good story or play with her dolls.

One night, when Sortilege was a small filly she had a strange dream. In the dream, Sortilege was floating through a seemingly endless white open space. Eventually she landed on what appeared to be nothing. There was a white flash and a pony appeared before her.

She was much taller and older than Sortilege but the differences ended there. The dream mare had the exact same dark blue coat as her, and the exact same bubble gum pink mane tied back in a pony tail just the way Sortilege preferred. The dream pony walked over to Sortilege and Sortilege gazed up into the ponies incredibly odd looking eyes. There was something about those eyes….

….Something...strange.

….Something...crazy.

Then the dream pony smiled. Not a kind, loving smile but a wide, almost silly looking grin. Then her eyes distorted even further. Her irises disappeared and were replaced by two multicolored swirls. Then the dream pony leaned down and touched her horn to Sortileges. There was a brilliant flash of white and Sortilege woke up.

‘What a strange dream.’ She had thought to herself. Sortilege didn't think much on the dream after that, but every once in a while, she'd lay her head to rest and the dream pony would appear again. The dreams never bothered her much but she always wondered what they could possibly mean.

Years passed and Sortilege lived a happy life within her small community. She never ventured outside of Stable Twenty-eight. She never desired to. She loved her life. She had a job as the Stable's teacher. She absolutely loved children, and the children utterly adored her. As a matter of fact, everypony in Stable Twenty-eight downright loved Sortilege.

She was known for being incredibly friendly and always having the most positive outlook. The Unicorn mare may not have had anyone she would call a close friend but that didn't bother her. She adored her Stable and she loved everypony in it.

Above all else, and it wouldn't be until much later that Sortilege would realize it, Sortilege loved the fact that everypony in Stable Twenty-eight was sane.

Then one day, all the simplicity, safety, and sanity in Sortilege’s life was taken away...

~O.o~

There are many miserable towns located in the Equestrian Wasteland but none are as miserable as the town called Misery. Not a single pony in Misery even pretended to be decent. Everyone in the town was a scumbag in one way or another. The town was populated with nothing but mercenaries, bounty hunters, chem dealers, chem addicts, prostitutes, weapon dealers, slavers and nearly every other sort of villain.

There was no law in Misery. Bottlecaps ruled the place. If somepony wanted justice they had to pay for it, and even then they were more likely to get robbed or worse. Nopony in Misery smiled. It was by far the most appropriately named location in the wasteland.

In the center of Misery stood the Miserable tavern, where the inhabitants of the town could stop in and fill their bodies with chems and alcohol in futile attempts to convince themselves that they actually enjoyed being alive. The tavern also served as a place where the vile denizens of Misery could come and discuss business. The bounty hunters, mercenaries and slavers all accumulated there to have a drink and discuss their next jobs.

On this day the tavern was packed full with the worst of the worst; or the best of the best, depending on the way one chose to look at it.

The biggest and baddest mercenaries in the wastes had all stopped in, drowning themselves in chemicals. At a booth in the corner a gang of ghouls, all pegasi, were enjoying a game of cards. A small number of decrepit looking mercenaries who reeked of drugs and gasoline sat in the corner, foregoing the pleasures of alcohol in favor of more intense substances. At the bar, a band of bounty hunters, led by a strange little ghoul celebrated the success of their latest endeavors. Further down the bar two more ghouls sat in silence, drinking and trying their best to forget their past. At the farthest corner of the place, a lone mare played an eerie tune on her harmonica and seated at the center table of the tavern, three mares were in the middle of an heated argument.

"This is entirely your fault Scar." The little sand colored filly was glaring intensely at her crimson pegasus partner.

If looks could kill, her winged companion would be deader than a pony caught in the epicenter of a balefire blast.

"How do you figure? Skitz was the one in charge of the bounty notice." The crimson mare retorted.

The large, grey Earth pony who accompanied them didn't say a word but instead focused all of her attention on the plate of wasteland cuisine she had ordered from the bar.

"Yes she was. And whose idea was it to put her in charge?"

"Well...mine, but I didn't exactly see you running to stop me."

"That's because I thought you were only letting her hold onto it. I had no idea you were putting her in charge of directions too! What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Bite me Sugar. You never put Skitz in charge of anything. I felt bad for her. I didn't think she'd fuck up this badly."

The grey pony still remained silent, munching down on her meal, seemingly oblivious the fact that her companions were talking about her.

"I don't blame Skitz." The filly said back. "I blame you! I trusted you to get the info we needed for this job while I rounded up supplies. I didn't think you were retarded enough to leave the detailing up to a pony with the IQ of a fucking potato!"

Scar dismissively rolled her eyes at the filly. "She's not nearly as dumb as you make her out to be. Speaking of you rounding up our supplies, what was with that fucking flamer you bought? You spent so much on that damned thing, that we barely had enough caps for ammo."

"I never used a flamer before. I thought it'd be fun." Sugar thought to herself for a moment. "And it was fun! It was fun as hell. And the price wouldn't have been an issue if we had hit the right hideout!"

Sugar leaned back and placed her forehooves over her face in frustration.

"Ugh! Why'd you have to fuck this up Scar?! The payout for this job was huge!"

"Well fine. I'm sorry for trying to make Skitz here feel like an equal member of our group."

The simple mare looked up from her meal and smiled wide at the Pegasus.

"Maybe if you included her in the planning of our jobs more often, we wouldn't have these sorts of issues."

The filly moved forward and slammed her head face first onto the table. "You're retarded. Both of you are. I hate you so much."

She repositioned her head so that her chin was resting on the tables edge. "What are we supposed to do now? We're flat broke and out of ammo. We couldn't go after Snake Eye Slim now if we wanted too."

Scar pondered quietly for a minute "Think we might be able to get something for wiping out the Vipers?"

Sugar gave a dismissive snort "Doubt it. They were small time. I don't think anyone was bothered by them enough to offer up a reward."

Skitz, the grey Earth pony, finally decided it was time to add her opinion to the conversation. "Whe cud gouh ta mauh."

"We can't understand you when your mouth is full Skitz.”

Skitz swallowed her mouthful and voiced her idea a second time.

"We could go to May. She might be able to help."

"We could." Sugar said. "Except May hates us. I doubt she'd be willing to throw us a bone."

"It's worth a try Sugar." Scar piped in. "Better than sitting here doin' nothing."

"Yeah fuck it. Might as well. I hate this place anyway. Stinks like Zebra shit."

"First things first though, We're stopping by a merchant and you're selling that fucking flamer."

"Like hell I am! You can sell this bad boy after you pry it out of my cold dead hooves!"

"Ha! Don't threaten me with a good time Sugar."

With that, the trio of mares gathered up their supplies and headed on out into the town.

~O.o~

Miserable May hated her miserable life. She hated her miserable job as the mayor of the town Misery. She hated her miserable employees who constantly bothered her about raises. She hated the miserable inhabitants of her miserable town. Miserable May hated just about everything and everypony under the miserable sun.

There were three particular ponies, however, that Miserable May hated more than any others...and those three ponies were currently making their way to her office.

Scar, Skitz and Sugar walked up to the front door of Misery's town hall. It was a miserable looking building. When the two guard ponies stationed outside the hall noticed the trio of mares approaching the building, they each shot each other a worried glance.

Sugar trotted up to the nearest guard.

"Is May in today?" She asked.

"She is...but I'm not sure how happy she's gonna be to see the three of you..."

"May’s never happy to see anypony. We're here to talk business, so how about you let us through and I probably won't light you on fire. Probably." The Unicorn filly motioned to the flamer she was carrying in her telekinetic pink aura.

The guard nervously stared at the weapon, before looking back down at the filly.

"O-okay. B-but you're g-gonna have to s-s-surrender your weapons before you go through the d-door."

Sugar nodded, then motioned for her two companions to follow her. They made their way over to the other guard pony who was standing behind a bench. Sugar laid down the flamer she had been levitating down on the bench. Next she unslung the ridiculously large automatic rifle she'd been carrying on her back. Finally, she levitated a large pistol that had been painted entirely pink out from her saddle pack. She levitated the saddle pack up to the guard, showing him that it was indeed empty. He nodded, satisfied and let her pass.

Scar, walked up next and undid the harness for her battle saddle and laid it out on the bench. Then, she leaned in close to the guard and spoke in a venomous tone.

"That battle saddle, is my most prized possession. I'm leaving it in your care. If anything happens to it I'm holding you responsible. Got it?"

The shaking guard pony swallowed before responding "Y-y-yes m-m-ma'am."

"Good."

With that, she reached her head down and drew a sawed-off shotgun from her foreleg and laid it on the bench next to her battle saddle.

Skitz's turn was next. She trotted up to the weapon bench with a smile on her face. She closed her eyes and gave both the guards a friendly wave. Then she reached into her cloak and pulled out a machete and placed it on the table. She reached into her cloak again and pulled out a large revolver and placed it on the table next to the machete. She reached into her cloak a third time and produced a sawed off shotgun and placed it on the table as well. She continued to reach into her cloak, pulling out various weaponry and placing them on the table.

After a few minutes she had produced: a pair of hedge clippers, a throwing axe, several knives, a baseball bat, a few grenades, a few landmines, some plastic explosives, a squirt gun, a couple of small pistols, a pair of hoofclaws, some nunchucks, a toilet plunger, a small submachine gun and a crossbow and she was still reaching into her cloak for more.

Scar and Sugar exchanged a knowing look between themselves.

"Hey Skitz, we're gonna head on inside. You meet up with us when you're done okay?" Scar said

The tall grey mare looked glanced over at her two companions and smiled and said "Okay." before reaching into her cloak again.

Sugar and Scar headed into the hall and towards the office of Miserable May.

May was sitting alone in her office, looking over some notices that had been sent her way on her computer terminal. According to one report, the raider gang known as the Vipers, had been wiped out at their base of operations. ‘That's good news I guess.’ May thought to herself.

Then, another thought crossed May’s mind. May went through all of the notices that had been sent to her that day. Each and every one contained good news.

"That can't be right." She said aloud to herself.

May reached over and turned on the radio on her desk. DJPon3 was in the middle of a news broadcast. May listened intently, trying to catch wind of some bad news of some kind. The stallion on the radio gave a few basic updates about the going ons of the wasteland, but it was just average news. Nothing particularly bad about any of it. Then he gave a few basic wasteland survival tips and put on some music.

May sat back in her chair, thinking to herself. ‘Today has been a pretty good day’ she thought. ‘I never have good days…’

Then, at that exact moment, there was a knock on her door.

May sighed. "And there it is."

She briefly wondered if she should even risk opening the door, lest the first good day she had since she could remember was ruined. After a moment of contemplation, she decided that maybe, just maybe, the Goddesses had finally decided to give her the break she so rightly deserved.

"Come in." She called out towards the door.

The door opened...and May immediately regretted her decision.

"Get out." She sourly told the two mares entering her office.

"Hello May!" Sugar smiled and trotted up to the older ponies desk. "You're looking wonderful today."

"Get out." The mayor didn’t hesitate when she repeated herself.

“Aww May, don't be like that, I thought we were your friends." The little one smiled brightly at the town leader.

"Why?" May muttered, glaring at the two.

"We're here to talk business May." Scar informed her. "We're wondering if you had any work lined up for us."

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the Goddesses. I want to know why they hate me so much."

May reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of medication. She stared at the bottle for a moment and cursed the fact that she didn't have enough left to kill her.

"I don't think the Goddesses hate you May." The little filly said. "Actually, I'm of the opinion that there aren't any Goddesses. They high tailed it outta here when the world ended."

"That would make a lot of sense. Now please, tell me what I can do to make you two leave me alone as soon as I possibly can?"

"Well like Scar said, we're looking for work. Did you happen to hear about the Vipers?"

"That was you? I thought you three were hunting down Snake Eye Slim?"

"Yeah well." Sugar glared over at her partner. "We had a communication issue."

She looked back over to May. "But now we're in a bit of a pinch. We're out of caps and we're out of bullets. Any way we could get a loan so we could go back after him?" She smiled up hopefully towards May.

"First off, you're too late. Someone already nabbed Slim and collected the reward money."

"Damn." The filly shot another, intense, frustrated glare over at Scar.

"Second, I don't have enough caps lying around to be giving loans and third..." The old mare leaned closer to the two younger ponies "...I hate you and I want you to die. So why should I even help you?"

"C'mon May. That's just a little bit harsh dontcha think?"

"You three consistently fuck up every job you've been given. Everything you do ends in a bloodbath. You have caused me more trouble than you're worth. I don't have any work for you and even if I did have something, I'm not helping you. Now get out."

"May..." Scar began.

"No Scar. No more favors. You're not worth the headache. You can go work the street corner for all I care."

"May," Scar pitched in again. "You know we're more than capable of getting things done. Give us one more chance."

The mare looked pleading at May. "We're desperate. Pretty please?"

She reached down, picked up her filly partner and placed her on May's desk. "With Sugar on top?"

The two gave May the best puppy-dog look either one of them could muster. May gave a frustrated sigh. She mulled it over for a moment.

Then she had an idea. A wonderful, fantastic idea.

"You know girls...you might be in luck. As a matter of fact I do have something. I was saving it for somepony special. But It might be just the job for you. You want to hear it?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" The filly exclaimed bouncing on the mare's desk, causing pencils to fall from it and papers to scatter.

"More than anything in the world May." Said Scar.

May reached across the desk and pressed her intercom button. "Crossbones. Would you bring me the bounty notice we got the other day?"

The intercom buzzed back "Which one?"

"The really interesting one. You remember which one I'm talking about?"

"I remember. I'll be right there ma'am."

The three mares waited in silence as May's assistant headed down the hall to the office. He entered, walked over to May, and handed her a piece of parchment.

"This came in a week or so ago. Biggest bounty notice we ever had." The old mare began. "I've been very reluctant to release it. The bounty's so large that if everyone knew about it, it'd cause a shit storm of chaos that I honestly don't need."

"What is it?" The crimson mare inquired.

"You know that stable up north from here?"

The duo nodded.

"I have no idea what she did or who she pissed off but a mare from that stable has a one hundred thousand bottlecap bounty on her head."

Scar let loose a low whistle.

Sugar's jaw dropped in shock "A hundred thousand?! You're kidding!"

May shook her head. "I don't have a sense a humor Sugar. One hundred thousand caps. But she has to be taken in alive is the thing."

"We can do that!" Sugar cried out enthusiastically.

May raised a skeptic her eyebrow at the filly.

"We can! I promise! Please, oh please, oh please, oh please! Oh please give us the job, May!"

"I was thinking about it. There's a couple problems though. First thing is the delivery point. It's all the way on the other side of Equestria."

"That's no big deal. What's the other issue?" Scar said.

“The other issue, is that someone else might have already beaten you to the punch."

May got up from her desk and trotted over to the duo. Scar tried to peek at the parchment she was holding but May pulled it away.

"No touching. This is for my eyes only. It says so right on the letter."

"Where does it say that on the letter?"

"I can't show you, dumb-ass. Only I can look at the letter." May took out her bottle of medication and swallowed another pill.

"The reason I'm telling you about this job, is that you'd actually be doing me a huge favor by taking it. A group of bounty hunters already raided Stable Twenty-eight earlier in the week. They killed everyone in it and took the mare with the bounty. Last I heard however, they haven't moved her yet. They’re keeping her at their base, just outside of town."

"So you want us to go in, wipe out the bounty hunters?" Scar asked.

The Pegasus and the tiny Unicorn shared a skeptical look with each other.

"Why?"

"Because it'd be good for business. Less competition. You take this job, I'll pay for all your expenses. Ammunition, healing potions, chems. Anything you need."

"And we get to collect the bounty on the stable brat as well?" Sugar asked, her suspicions rising.

"Eeyup. All you have to do is take her to the rendezvous point over toward Forb mountain."

May sat down and reached her front hoof towards the mare and the filly. "So, do we have a deal?"

The filly eyed the outstretched hoof suspiciously.

"I don't know...what do you think Scar?"

The crimson Pegasus thought to herself for a long moment. "Ya know, there's an old saying that goes: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

She stared into the old town leader’s eyes, searching for a hint of deceit. Then she reached out, grabbed May's hoof and shook it vigorously.

"But fuck whoever said that! They obviously didn't have any idea what they were talking about. You got yourself a deal May!"

"Great. I'll send word to the town vendors. They'll supply you with what you need."

She walked around her desk again, pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something on it.

"This is the rendezvous where you need to drop the bounty off."

"Gimme that!"" Sugar said as she used her magic to swipe the little slip of paper off of May's desk.

She glared over at Scar. "I'm in charge of directions this time!"

"Okay fine. In that case, I'm rounding up supplies. We're selling your stupid flame thrower."

The duo turned around, headed out of May's office and back down the hall.

"No you're fucking not Scar! I paid for it with my own caps! I would never ask you to sell your precious battle saddle would I?"

"I suppose not."

"Exactly. So quit asking me to sell my shit. We each have our own personal belongings. We have no right to ask each other to get rid of them."

The two mares made there way back outside.

"I suppose you're right...speaking of which..."

The two guard ponies from earlier were staring, mouths wide open in shock, at massive amount of assorted weapons that had been laid out on the bench in front of them. On the other side of the bench, Skitz was still reaching into her cloak, to grab the next deadly item she had stashed away.

Sugar and Scar walked up to the bench and grabbed their own personal belongings.

"C'mon Skitz. We're heading out. We got a job to do."

“Okie doke." Skitz replied and in one big scooping motion, she pulled the entire arsenal she had laid out on the bench back into her cloak.

Then she turned to guard ponies, gave them great big smile and said "Bye!" before she trotted off after her cohorts.

The guard ponies didn't respond. Instead they stared at the departing trio of mares, with wide eyes and open mouths. Their jaws hanging halfway down to their knees.

Back in her office, Miserable May was mentally patting herself on the back for a job well done. She had successfully killed two birds with one stone and she was feeling quite proud of herself. She motioned over to her assistant, Crossbones, who had yet to leave the room.

"Crossbones, get into the cabinet a bring me that bottle of wine I've been saving. Today has been a surprisingly good day and I feel like celebrating."

Crossbones did as he was told. He retrieved the bottle and two glasses and poured a glass for his boss and himself. The two began drinking.

After a couple glasses Crossbones decided to ask the question sitting in the back of his mind.

"Ma'am. Why did you lie to them about the bounty?"

May poured herself another drink.

"Because as stupid as those three are, I don't think they're that stupid. If they had known all the details of the job, they might not have taken it."

She took another sip and mulled over her own statement. "Well actually, they probably still would have but I didn't want to take the chance. It doesn't matter now. They'll go in, take care of those annoying bounty hunters, and in the time it takes them to realize how much danger they're actually in, they'll already be dead and out of my mane for good."

May sat quietly for a moment, staring at her wine glass and thought over the events of the day, which may have possibly been the best day of her miserable life.

"You know Crossbones, I don't smile much. As a matter of fact, I don't smile ever."

She placed the glass to her lips, and downed the rest of its contents.

"But if I did...this would be one."

~O.o~

Sortilege Harmony was having the worst day of her life.

It started out as any other day. She woke up, and walked around, greeting everyone in her stable. Sortilege was the kind of pony who could brighten up any ponies day. She knew everypony in Stable Twenty-eight.

She headed over to the cafeteria and enjoyed a delicious breakfast. She ate her breakfast alone, as always, but that didn't bother her at all. She very much enjoyed her privacy and everypony knew that. As friendly as she was, Sortilege had no close friends. That didn't bother her either though. Nothing really bothered her much.

After breakfast, she headed on over to the stable's classroom and began teaching her class. Sortilege, loved her job. She taught her students all about math, science, reading and magic. Her students adored her and she adored them. Sortilege absolutely loved children.

Then, in the middle of story time, the stables alarm sounded. The alarm didn't bother her much. It sounded all the time. Stable Twenty-eight was an open stable. They often did trading with the outside world. As a result, they would occasionally get attacked by raiders. It was never that big of an issue.

The guard ponies of Stable Twenty-eight were quite well armed. They usually fought off the raiders rather easily, sustaining very few injuries. When there were injuries, Sortilege was always the first pony there to greet them and brighten their day with a smile and her positive attitude.

Sortilege began the proper safety procedures for her class. Urging the little fillies and colts to stay calm and proceed in an orderly fashion, to the stables safe rooms. It was only a precaution. Raiders had never actually been able to get inside Stable Twenty-eight. It was still important to know what to do in these kind of situations..

Then Sortilege heard noises over the alarm. A series of loud thumps and what sounded like ponies screaming. The thumps and screams persisted, getting louder and louder.

For what seemed like the first time in her life, Sortilege began to feel worried.

Then the door opened and two stallions who Sortilege didn’t know stepped in before her. She had never seen a raider pony before, but had heard the guard ponies describe them. They had always told her they were sickly and emaciated, with bloodshot eyes. That they were covered in dirt and grime. Raiders from the guard ponies point of view, could easily be summed as the most evil looking ponies anyone had ever seen.

The two stallions standing in the doorway of Sortileges classroom did not fit that description at all. They weren't sickly and emaciated. They looked rather healthy in fact, and they were very fit and muscular. Their eyes looked...like regular pony eyes, except a whole lot meaner. They weren't nearly as clean as the ponies of Stable Twenty-eight but Sortilege wouldn't go so far as to say they were "covered" in dirt and grime. The guard ponies were right about one thing though.

They were definitely the most evil looking ponies Sortilege had ever seen.

They wore leather outfits and each one carried a rifle, strapped to his side in a special harness. One of them was a Unicorn, who had completely shaved his mane. The other was an Earth pony, who wore his mane in a strange spike style. Sortilege had never seen the style before and couldn't figure out why anypony would think that it looked good.

The two stallions stared at her. It seemed as if they were studying her. She stared back. She was too terrified to move. She had never properly prepared herself for this sort of event. One of the stallions, the Earth pony, turned to his unicorn compatriot and spoke.

"Is that her?" One said, referring to Sortilege.

The Unicorn stallion used his magic to levitate a piece of paper out of his pocket. Both stallions stared at the paper for a moment, then looked back at Sortilege.

The Unicorn nodded. "Eeyup."

Then he levitated out a strange looking device. A gun of some kind. He pointed it at Sortilege and fired right at her face.

Sortileges world went black...

She woke several hours later. She opened her eyes but she couldn't see anything. It appeared there was a bag over her head.

The young Unicorn tried to remove the bag using her magic only to discover she couldn't use her magic. Whatever they had shot her with seemed to prevent her from doing so.

She tried to scream but nothing came out. It seemed that her mouth was taped shut.

She attempted to move but it appeared that she was tied down.

Sortilege inhaled through her nose and gagged from the stench. It was quickly very clear that she was no longer in the confines of her stable. From what she could tel about her current situation, Sortilege had been taken prisoner by whomever had invaded her stable.

Unable to move, speak, or use her magic, Sortilege did the only thing she could think of.

She began to cry.

~O.o~

Skitz, Scarlet, and Sugar, sat on the top of a hill overlooking an old run down house. The little Unicorn filly was laying down, watching the house through a pair of binoculars. The large grey Earth pony was sitting down, sharpening her machete. The crimson Pegasus was pacing nervously back and forth.

After some time had passed, Sugar looked up at Scar and spoke.

"Now...we're one hundred percent sure that this is the right place?"

Scar answered back but never ceased her pacing. "We are one hundred percent, Sir. We've double, triple and quadruple checked."

"Well, I want to quintuple check! We can't afford to fuck this up again."

Scar ignored the fillies comment.

"How many of them are in there Sir?"

The Unicorn filly resumed looking through her binoculars.

"Can't get an exact count. I think maybe ten. Possibly as many as fifteen or twenty."

"Shit. I don't like this, Sir. I don't like this one bit. I think we're under prepared, Sir."

The Pegasus started pacing even faster than before.

Sugar continued surveying the house through her binoculars.

"Scar...you're doing it again."

"Doing what, Sir?"

"You're calling me sir."

Scar quit her pacing and sat down.

"Sorry. I'm just really fucking nervous about this one Sugar. These aren't fuckin' raiders. They’re well equipped and they’re seasoned. These guys know what they're doing. Are you sure we have enough supplies to pull this off?"

Sugar rolled over onto her back, placed her hooves behind her head and closed her eyes.

"Relax Scar. This is gonna be easy. We do this sort of thing all the fuckin' time. And we got Skitz. I don't care if they have fifty well equipped, seasoned mercenaries in there. This is gonna be easy-peasy. So relax. Quit worrying yourself to death." With that, she rolled back over and looked through her binoculars again.

Scar walked over and laid down next to her.

"So...do we have a plan?" She asked.

"You're the strategist here. You tell me." Replied Sugar.

"Well, I could fly in through the second story window. Neutralize anypony on the top floor and start heading down the stairs. Meanwhile, while you and Skitz will head in through the back door and sneak up on them. You quietly take out anyone you see. By the time they hear me it's gonna be too late. They'll start heading upstairs and I'll pin 'em with machine gun fire. When they try to run back, you and Skitz will be there to head them off and we'll have 'em trapped. Sound good?"

Sugar never looked up from her binoculars.

"Mhmm. So we're gonna barge in through the front door and slaughter everything we see?"

"Same as always."

"Thought so." The little filly giggled. "Oh now I'm getting excited. You two ready?"

Skitz looked up from her machete and smiled softly.

Scar reached in her saddle bag and pulled out a tiny little box.

"Hold on Sugar. I actually got you something while we were out picking up supplies. You're gonna love it!"

"A present? For me?"

The little filly took the small box and looked at it curiously. She opened it up and her expression lit up.

"Scar! This is the greatest thing ever! I haven't done this since we popped that guy over in Old Appleoosa! Thank you so much!"

Scar smiled. "Don't mention it. I know how much you enjoy it. And if I'm being totally honest, I think its pretty fuckin' badass."

"Give me a minute to put it on! Then we head down the hill and raise hell! Now I'm even more excited than before! Okay girls. You ready to fuck some shit up!?"

Skitz closed her eyes and smiled with her mouth around her machete.

"I'm ready!"

Scar put on her combat helmet and her mirrored aviator style sunglasses.

"Sir, yes, Sir!"

The killer filly slapped a magazine into her automatic rifle. "Then let's go nuts."

~O.o~

Sortilege Harmony had been sitting, tied to a chair, crying, for about three days.

Occasionally they would take the tape off and allow her to eat. If she tried to say anything they would strike her. So she quickly learned not to talk.

They would occasionally untie her and allow her to use the bathroom but never without supervision. Sortilege did not enjoy being watched as she was using the bathroom. It bothered her greatly.

In fact, Sortilege was beginning to discover that there was a great number of things that bothered her where as before she thought herself bother free. The smell of her captors bothered her. The way they spoke and the foul language they used bothered her. The way they breathed bothered her! As matter of fact, everything outside of her Stable bothered her.

The only thing Sortilege wanted, more than anything in the world, was to go home to her bother free Stable. She couldn't do that though. So for what must have been the hundredth time since she was brought to this awful place, Sortilege started crying.

She never knew her body was capable of producing so many tears.

It bothered her greatly.

While Sortilege was busy crying her eyes out her captors were busy doing...nothing.

They had been doing nothing for three days. The only reason they hadn't bothered to move their bounty out to the rendezvous point was that their boss had yet to return.

He had gone out to Forb mountain ahead of them to check out the legitimacy of the deal. It was a good idea. With a bounty this size, they had be sure that they weren't going to get fucked over.

The bounty hunters were fortunate in that they were the only ones at the moment who knew about the bounty. But once others began to hear of it, it would quickly escalate to the most dangerous mission of their lives. So they had to be sure the job was legitimate. If it was however, it would be well worth the risk. They would all be rich.

There were fifteen mercenary ponies stationed in the house. Ten on them were on the first floor. Five in the living room watching the front door and five in the back. The other five were up on the second floor, watching over their prisoner.

In the living room, four of them were gathered on the floor, playing games of tic tac toe to fend off their boredom. The other one was stationed at the window, acting as lookout. He spotted a rather unusual sight approaching the front door.

"Hey...hey guys. There's three mares headed towards the house." He called out.

"Tell 'em to go away." Another answered, not bothering to look up from his tic tac toe game.

The watch pony opened the door and called out.

"Hey. Go away!"

He was answered immediately with a bullet right between his eyes.

The other four were on their hooves immediately. They began to draw their weapons but were stopped short by the sight of the little Unicorn filly who rushed in through the front door.

The sight of the killer filly, wielding a weapon twice her size was usually more than enough to leave most folks in a state of bewilderment.

Today, however, Sugar's appearance was more bewildering than usual. She was no longer sand colored. She was covered from the bottom ends of her hooves to the tip of her horn, in pitch black body paint.

All except her hair, which remained bright yellow...and her face.

Her face bore resemblance to those long since killed. White make up broke the black on her face. She had large, ashen, hollowed eye sockets. They were framed by a bright white with little black dots trimming to the corners. Her mouth was an outline of teeth that went much farther than her actual mouth. Her cute filly nose was covered in black. She smiled, her own teeth complimented by the little black lines around her mouth that served to complete the equine skull that had been painted on her face.

The ponies’ confusion quickly turned to terror as she brought the barrel of her automatic rifle to face the remaining four. She squeezed the trigger and reduced them to nothing more than bloody pony chunks.

Two more ran in from the back. They stopped dead in their tracks as she brought the flamer to face them. The wide, devilish grin the filly wore on her face was made all the more horrifying by the face paint she was wearing. She prepared to roast the pair of ponies, but before she could gunfire erupted from behind her, dropping both of her targets.

“What the fuck Scar?!" The painted filly shouted in anger. "That was my kill!"

"Don't use that thing in here you little psycho! You'll burn the whole fucking house down!" Scar barked at the filly.

Before Sugar could retort, three more rushed in from the back with weapons drawn. They were barely able to aim, before a huge equine shaped mass leaped over Scar and Sugar and landed on the pony in the middle.

The two remaining ponies had no time to react when Skitz swung her head around and with one stroke from her machete, detached both of their heads from their bodies.

The pony she was standing on was crippled in pain. He could only cry as he trembled in terror. The massive mare grasped his head in her hooves and skillfully snapped his neck.

The trio regrouped in the center of the living room and the youngest of them began giving out instructions.

“Okay. We split up. Scar, you go look in the rooms over there and look for our target. I'll check in the back. Skitz, you head upstairs. Stay alert. There's bound to be more of 'em around."

"What does the mare we're looking for look like?" Scar inquired.

"Shit...we never asked. Just assume she's the one who isn't shooting at us and looks like a prisoner."

The three gave each other comprehending nods, then departed.

Skitz headed up the stairs. When she reached the top she was attacked by another mercenary, wielding a sledgehammer. He swung at her head, hard and fast…

...but she was faster.

She blocked the hammer with her machete and struck out with her right foreleg. The attack landed and smashed the pony’s head into the wall. The unfortunate merc’s skull was obliterated into bits of bone and brain matter against the mare’s immense strength.

Skitz headed into the next room encountering five more ponies. One of whom was tied to a chair. The other four, had their guns trained on the door.

They all fired in unison. Their guns hit nothing but air.

Skitz rushed into the room and dove into their midst, grabbing one of her attackers with both forehooves and breaking his neck while simultaneously stabbing another in the throat with her machete. She spun around and bucked another one in the head with enough force to cave in his skull.

The last one was able to fire off a couple shots, but Skitz rolled out of the line of fire before they touched her. She reached into her cloak with her front hooves and swung them out forcefully, embedding three knives into the body of her final opponent.

The pony was dead before she hit the ground.

Skitz surveyed the area for any surprise attackers. Satisfied that she had dispatched all her foes, she turned her attention to the only other living pony in the room.

The ghost-like mare sheathed her machete and walked up to the pony. She leaned forward and used her teeth to remove the bag from the mares head.

Sortilege Harmony stared back at the large grey earth pony, tears running down her face.

She gazed into the strange ponies eye's and she noticed that there was something, familiar about them. There was something about those eyes….

…Something...strange.

….Something...crazy.

The large grey mare dropped the bag and smiled at her.

Not a kind loving smile and not a killer crazy smile but rather a wide, almost silly looking grin.

Then she spoke.

"Hi. I'm Skitz."

Author's Note

This was super fun to write. Big 'ol thanks to my editors and anyone who took the time to read this. I hope you enjoyed. Will try and have the next chapter out ASAP.