Meaningless Murder Pony Portal Pals

My name is Vibia. I’m a pony. I don’t have a horn, and I don’t have wings. THe racist bastards around me think that makes me an earth pony. I say, ‘You know, we all live a fuckin mile underground, I think that makes us all earth ponies.’. They don’t like that.

I’m brown. Like, everything is brown. I hate brown. It’s the color of crap. I’ve got god damn poop eyes for crying out loud! I’m an ugly, hideous color, and all people notice is the earth pony thing. Damn stupid.

-

I woke in the morning feeling really shit. Worse than usual even. I broke my mirror trying to brush my teeth, so I just gargled 50 proof instead, killed the bugs that way. I had a couple of hours before work, so I decided to make my way to the recreation lounge and get a sandwich.

The lounge was pretty empty, and best of all there was no line for sandwiches. I trotted up to the counter and was about to place my order when the green whackjob pushes me aside and starts to place hers. What the hell, right?

I’m like. “Hey lady I was here first, gettin my sandwich!”

She doesn’t even dignify me with a response! I’m mad, but I don’t let it get to me.

“Aye, if you needa sandwich that bad, like you’re really diein of hunger or maybe you gotta bomb that’s only defused by sandwiches, I understand.” I say, using reverse psychology.

She still doesn’t even talk to me. Thats when I realize she dead, and her corpse which had hit me back was thrown from across the room by one of those mutant psycos. I was talkin to a dead chick while everypony else was evacuating the building. I was in the room alone with a roided up freak.

“You’ve made things awkward for me.” I say.

The genetic tests they do around here can create some true monstrosities I’ll tell you what. I could hardly tell this guy’s face from his ass, he was so freakin deformed. He couldn’t understand me, and he’s just smashing tables like they’d made a tasteless joke about his mother.

“What do ya thinks gunna happen first? You find me an rip my legs off, or the Hugs squard arrives and turns you to goo.”

As it turned out, HUGs squad arrived right then and blasted the freak with their lasers. I don’t know what HUG stands for, but I was just about ready to give them one.

“Aye! Thanks for savin me!” I call out.

They don’t like that. Just about melted my ass too before one of them decided to take me into custody instead. I yelling and hollering about my right and about how it was police brutality. I don’t really remember much after that.

-

“Hello?” My voice was weak. I couldn't move, I was strapped down.

Everything was dark. I closed and opened my eyes a couple of times, but it made no difference. I couldn’t tell a thing about where I was, except that the cool metal against my back was probably not designed for comfort.

“Hello? Any of you fuckers want to let me go yet?” I yelled. I guessed I was in a HUGs isolation chamber, or something like that.

I was queasy, like someone had been at my insides with a blender. Fighting back the need to puke, I tried my best to fall back asleep. It didn’t happen.

Hours and hours passed in abject darkness and almost as much silence.

A SOUND! For the first time in an eternity, I heard something besides my own breathing. It was muffled, but definitely speech.

“Hey!” I yelled. “Hey! Somepony here me? Heeeeeyyy!”

The voices grew louder, from the direction my hooves were pointing. A creaking door later, and everything was bathed in a soft purple light.

“Thank the god.” I groaned. “I thought you guys forgot about me. Please, I won’t even be angry if you let me go.”

I heard a gasp. I struggled to look up, but I was too weak. “What is it?”

“Is all that blood yours?” A feminine voice asked. I tried to look at the speaker, as she moved to my side.

“HOLY SHIT!” I cried, jerking away. It was a zombie come to eat my supple flesh!

The thing grabbed me, not that it affected much since I was still strapped down. It tensed with anger, then a kind of sad resignation.

“It’s not nice to make fun of other pony’s appearance.” The thing said. It had the shape of a pony, or an alicorn actually. It was a genuine undead alicorn monstrosity, and it didn’t want to eat me right away.

I took a deep breath, and let the act of letting it out slowly calm my racing heart. “Like I said: If ya let me go, we’re cool.”

Nodding, the alicorn magically disintegrated the bindings on my hooves and head. I guess HUGs wouldn’t need them anymore.

“Thanks a bunch. Am I free to go noOOOOOooOOOOO!” I had tried getting to my hooves, but I slipped on something slippery. I faceplanted with ‘Oof!” and a muffled ‘feck!”

“I warned you about the blood.” The alicorn above me said. What? In the dim light of her horn, the pool of liquid coating the entire floor was a deep maroon. Oh god, now it was all over me!

I scrambled to my hooves, cursing. The alicorn seized my shoulder.

“Do you know anything about what has happened here?” She asked.

“Those fuckheads spilled ten gallons of my blood on the floor, that’s what happened!” I screamed. “And, I’m really not feeling well because of it.”

It was true, for the sight nausea had blossomed into a terrible headache with a backup cast of constant vomit.

“We’re not on the same page here.” The alicorn said. “What happened here at C.A.R.E? Everypony’s gone, without a trace.”

That bombshell did nothing for my racing heart. “Gone? What… What…” I struggled to speak.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, princess and former director of the Arranged Restoration project. I have a team from H.A.R.M. here with me because your reactors have been shut down. When we arrived, we discovered that C.A.R.E. has been completely emptied of ponies.”

This had to be some sick joke. Zombie alicorns and the disappearance of the entire population was just too outlandish to be real.

“Who are you really?” I challenged. “Is it Chim under all that makeup? You had me at first, but you act about as well as I dance.”

Twilight Sparkle sighed. “This isn’t a joke. Follow me. My team have cleared a little area for the others we’ve found.”

-

C.A.R.E. was plenty ominous when it was well lit. Endless halls flanked by databanks storing all the knowledge of the old world. A pony sometimes felt the persistent notion that they were being watched by the man cameras that connected to the Overmind. Odd noises from empty halls, erie voices from vacant rooms: The place was clearly haunted.

This was magnified tenfold in the darkness. I was nearly clinging to Twilight Sparkle for the entire walk. The soldiers from H.A.R.M. had set up shop in the public commons of one of the residence cores. About fifteen other locals were there, in various stages of panic. Most of them were old geezers, but two of them were infants not yet old enough to be weaned. Our common trait was that we had been abandoned.

“Rockefeller reports that his team have nearly arrived at the reactor level.” One of the soldiers told Twilight Sparkle.

“Excellent. Has the Helibird returned?”

“Not yet ma’am. It’s taken time to offload the first batch of survivors.”

We were survivors? Survivors of what? Abandonment didn’t make for the best tale of courage and adversity. At best I felt like a refugee.

“Start leading this group up to the hanger. I’ll go down to the Overmind alone.” Twilight said.

“How’re you gunna to get into her chamber?” I asked.

“With magic, I imagine.” Twilight responded. “Unless you know better.”

“You bet I do. The Overmind has a security system, state of the art.” I said. “I helped install it.”

Twilight glanced at my cutie mark, a magno-kinetic load lifter. I was a teamster. I smirked. For a moment I pretended that the mummified alicorn thing was checking me out. “Like what you see?”

She huffed. “I thought you lost most of your blood.”

“I got better.” I said, waggling my eyes. No illness except maybe death can come between me and a fun time.

“Clearly.” I felt as though Twilight might have been rolling her eyes, if she’d still had them. “Your accent is getting healthier.”

One of soldier stepped forward. “If there really is a security system-”

“I’m unconcerned about the security system. However,” Twilight pointed at me. “You will come just in case.”

I bowed. “Of course, your worshipfulness.”

Twilight frowned, leading the way. “I get too much of that sincerely to find your mockery very funny.”

“Wow, so you’re like… The genuine article! A real alicorn!” I said. I hoped it would annoy her more.

“Yes, but the ponies of H.A.R.M. worship me because my robot daughter used me as her avatar while I slept for four centuries.” Twilight said. “She thinks acting like a distant and aloof god will make her losses more tolerable.”

I was about to say something snarky back, but Twilight spoke again. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t intend you to hear. I’m only telling the truth! Now come out where I can see you!”

A sleek lightish-purple robot emerged from the darkness, falling into step behind me. It had no eyes, yet I could feel it’s scrutinizing gaze.

“It’s laughable that you now think you have the wisdom to judge my choice of companions.” Twilight snarled at the thing, then after a moment. “If I wanted an opinion as naive as yours I would have visited the nursery!”

I felt like I was only getting half the conversation.

“Maybe Overmind stopped talking to you because you’re moody, not her.” Twilight turned away, and resumed her canter down the hall. “And no, so that’s the last I want to hear of it.”

With me and the robot falling behind, we descended to the Overmind’s core. About halfway, a low rumble echoed throughout the facility, heralding the reactivation of the main reactor. The vents began to shudder with the circulation of air resuming. The lights however, stayed off.