Lyra Screws Up Big Time

Bon Bon sighed as they looked upon Sally’s body. “Lyra, remind me what déjà vu is?”

Lyra was sweating profusely. “It’s exactly déjà vu!” she whimpered.

Bon Bon pointed to the bag of trash Sally had dropped. “Lyra, you realize that bag is a treasure trove of our DNA! Blood, sweat, tears, hair, your lotion!”

“We’re gonna fry for this, Bon Bon!”

“Yeah… well, you’ll fry. I’ll plead down to community service of some kind.”

“Bon Bon!”

“But I’m still with you on this thing,” The earth pony declared with fire in her eyes. “And if you wanna go against everything we stand for, learn from our mistakes, then we should probably not dispose of that evidence. But…” She looked pointedly at Lyra. “If you want to stick to tradition… make the same mistakes over and over and over again, then we should just—“

“No. No, no.” Lyra interrupted. “I’m not touching a thing, Bon Bon. I don’t need to! You know why?” She took on a new air of confidence. “I’m Innocent, and the truth shall set me free!” When she was finished, she took a few deep breaths from the passionate speech she made.

Bon Bon grinned. “Hurrimane Carter… I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of me too!”

“But the truth is gonna land you in a field in Moab,” Bon Bon said a matter of factly.

“Oh, no,” Lyra whimpered.

“In front of a firing squad,” Bon Bon went on. “..Full of ponies that look like Patrick Whinnieson.”

“Drops! Heartstrings!”

Both girls turned to see Lassiter, who was far across the parking lot, walking toward them with a few police ponies behind him. “You two have a lot of explaining to do!” Lassiter bellowed. Bon Bon and Lyra looked at each other.

Lyra had a no nonsense expression on her face. “This ends now, Bon Bon,” she said coolly, and started walking over to Lassiter.

Bon Bon sighed. This was it. There would be no way out of this one. She looked down at Sally, then at the bag of trash. Inside, she could see shredded files that had obviously been glued back together by Sally. On there where names and numbers. Next to it, there was a contact lens. Bon Bon gasped. She knew who did it.

“Lyra!” she shouted. Her best friend stopped, and turned to look at her, looking very much confused.  “Never! I've got something, follow me.” With that, she took off running. Lyra reluctantly followed suit, just as Lassiter reached where they once stood.

“Where the hay are you going!?” he yelled after them. Then he noticed Sally lying on the ground. He scowled. “Playtime’s over Sally, get up. Sally!” When Sally didn’t respond, Lassiter bent down, and checked his pulse. There was none. Sally was gone. “Oh, crap.” he muttered.

Lassiter then noticed the yellow file on the ground. He picked it up, and read the teeth writing analysis results inside. “Heartstrings?” He murmured, actually surprised. Carrot Top’s friend? He quickly regained his composure. Perhaps, once she was detained, he would get a better insight on what was happening. He didn't really know Heartstrings well, but he knew she wasn't a murderer. But rules where rules… “Sheppard, call this in,” he instructed bluntly, handing the file to one of the officers. “Secure the crime scene.” He turned to the other two officers. “Morrison and whatever the hay your name is, come with me.”

Sheppard turned on his radio as Lassiter and the two officers went after where Lyra and Bon Bon had ran off to. “We have a body..”

Meanwhile, Bon Bon and Lyra galloped at top speed through the parking lot. They bobbed and weaved through cars, avoiding ponies that happened to walk past. Lyra felt nothing but adrenaline coursing through her veins. Lassiter and the other officers had lost them long ago, and gotten lost. Lassiter groaned exasperatingly. “Where the hay are we?!”

On the same floor that Creech’s memorial service was held, ponies were once again standing, while Merry was giving another speech. “It’s in times like these, our darkest hours, I find clarity…”

“Sorry we’re late!” Bon Bon gasped, as she and Lyra ran into the office. Ponies murmured to each other in surprise. “Sorry everypony! Sorry. Sorry! Excuse us!” They moved through the crowd of ponies to the front of the office. “Sorry to interrupt!” Bon Bon shouted, hopping onto one of the desks. Lyra stood next to it. Bon Bon took a deep breath. “With regards to this month’s sales contest, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives.”

Lyra looked up at her friend. “Bon Bon, get to the point,” She growled. “Lassie is gonna come around that corner any second now and arrest us!”

Bon Bon nodded. “All right, all right, all right,” she whispered.

“It is at this point,” she announced, “That I will give you all closure. I know who killed Dusty Creech.” She pointed at Merry. “It was this guy.” Ponies gasped, and started to murmur again. “Mitch Merry, the sharp dressed salesman who gave his life to this company, but who was also cooking the books. Inflating the numbers so it looked as if every branch office of Central Coast was doing gangbusters business.”

Merry frowned. “That is completely and categorically false!” He defended.

Bon Bon ignored him. “The police have a large bag of evidence on level 4-F of the parking garage,” she said as Carrot Top strolled in with a knowing smile on her face.

“5-E, Bon Bon.”  Lyra corrected.

Bon Bon went on.”Inside this large bag… they will discover a fax of various earning reports sent by Dusty Creech. A fax containing the real numbers.” She smirked down at Merry. “You came down here to sweet talk him, didn’t you? You knew he was on to your little scheme, and I bet that you tried to buy his silence by offering him a job as starting small forward for the Saddle Arabia Spurs.”

“With our pharmaceutical division in Saddle Arabia,” Lyra said in realization, putting the pieces of the puzzle together in her mind.

Bon Bon nodded, glad her friend was now getting it. “That too. But he didn’t want that job!” She said loudly. “He wanted the sweet, big wig job you have in Las Pegasus, isn’t that right?”

“So, you know what?” Creech yelled, throwing paper at Merry. “I don’t want your stupid job in Saddle Arabia. I’m gonna get your job.”

“Now because Dusty Creech is the three time gold medalist of jerks, he relished the opportunity to take you down. So what did you do?”

While Creech’s back was turned, Merry grabbed a letter opener from his desk, and stabbed him repeatedly until Creech fell into his chair.

“You stabbed him,” Bon Bon stated. “Three times in the back… with a letter opener.”

“Are you really gonna listen to her?” Merry chastised. “A girl who can’t decide on which voice she should stick with on a daily basis?”

Bon Bon blushed.

“Nopony even knows your name!” Merry said.

Bon Bon’s expression hardened. “What’s my name? Suck it. That’s my name. And for the record.. I’m a half-time voice actress. And what’s your fatal flaw? You didn’t realize that one of your contact lenses popped out during the attack.”

"This is Mr. Merry,” Sally said gesturing to the pony next to him. Mr. Merry blinked and shook Lyra’s hoof.

“That’s what put you at the crime scene, Jack. And what you definitely didn’t count on was rock star, all around best security guard Valerie Laverne Sally.”

“His name is Leslie, Bon Bon.” Lyra muttered.

“Sally was getting too close,” Bon Bon continued. “Just hours away from restoring the footage on the damaged security hard drives… so you poisoned the stallion’s Thermos!”

Merry straightened his tie. “Now the $60,000 question,” he said. “Is that accurate?” There was a long pause. Everyone stared at him and each other worriedly. “Your darn right it is!” Bon Bon smiled victoriously, while Lyra smiled in pure relief. The two of them did a hoof bump.

“Nowadays, I gotta pump up numbers,” Merry seethed, “Make excuses for all you losers! And that greedy numb skull, Dusty Creech, he decides he’s gonna out me and take my job? Well, that wasn’t gonna happen. Not By him. Not by nopony.” He gestured to Lyra. “I even promoted this foal to lead the branch, so as to avoid that ever happening again,” he said, as Carrot Top hoof cuffed him from behind.

Just then, Lassiter stumbled into the office, looking furious. “Don’t you move!” He yelled. He stormed over to Lyra and Bon Bon. “Drops! Heartstrings! I am…” He stopped when he saw Creech in hoof cuffs. Lassiter frowned. “They just solved it, didn’t they?”  Carrot Top nodded. “Pony feathers!” He cursed. Then he turned and pointed at Lyra and Bon Bon. “You two nimrods still have a lot of explaining to do.” He seethed, as he and Carrot Top walked off with Creech. As soon as they left, a number of conversations erupted in the office.

Bon Bon hopped down from the desk.

Lyra smiled at her friend, and the two embraced each other tightly. “Thanks, Bon Bon.” She whispered. “You saved us. Saved me.”

Bon Bon smiled. “Never could have done this without you,” Bon Bo whispered back. “We saved each other.”

Just after the two released from their hug, Paper Clip came over and kissed Bon Bon on the lips. Bon Bon seemed unfazed. Lyra blinked in surprise. “Uh… okay?”

Flinch suddenly appeared in front of her, smiling. “I like your mane, Lyra.” He said softly.

Lyra’s lips pulled back in a tight smile. She nodded. “Thanks, Flinchy. Thanks.”

That night, Lyra, Bon Bon, Carrot Top, and Octavia piled into Lyra and Bon Bon’s house. It had been…. a long day for all of them. Things had went back to normal… or at least as normal as Ponyville can be. Mr. Merry had been arrested. Lyra kept her new job as vice president, much to the office ponies’ delight. Everyone at the Ponyville Police station was thrilled to have an arrest. They haven’t had a case like this or anything close to it  since before a certain purple unicorn and her pet dragon came to town.

Speaking of, Princess Twilight and her friends had returned to Ponyville from their trip to Rainbow Falls. All of them were chatting with each other with glee, blissfully unaware of the events that had occurred during their absence.

Lyra’s phone started to ring. She answered. “Hello?... Flinchy, I can’t talk now.”

The other mares smirked at each other.

“…Yes, of course I like spicy food.”

Bon Bon chuckled.

“…What? No, I can’t go out to dinner with you. As a friend or…no, I will not text you later.” With that, she hung up the phone.

“What was that all about?” Octavia inquired.

Bon Bon grinned. “Lyra’s co-worker’s in love with her, but he’s a smoker.”

Lyra rolled her eyes.

“Guys,” Carrot Top said. “I’ve made a decision. I would like to remain… in the dark when it comes to the ways you guys go about your lives… concerning the specific subject that occurred today.”

Octavia nodded. “That goes double for me.”

Lyra smiled. “That is a very wise decision, ladies,” She said, returning Bon Bon’s knowing side glance. “The true beauty is that you have nothing to worry about. Bon Bon and I never leave anything behind when we clean up our messes.”

As the four mares strolled into the living room, they were shocked to find a certain mail mare still tied to the couch. Derpy smiled sleepily but cheerfully at her shocked friends.

“Hey, guys!”

                                                                             “Derpy!”