Author's Note

I'm not allowed to have a comment chapter... that means I have to trust all of you to reread chapters when I post blogs announcing updates. Of course I know you won't, so except for the first 2 chapters, I have no real external incentive to go back and improve my work...

Unless you all prove me wrong by commenting and reviewing updated chapters.

WARNING: bad song is bad. None of my editors are lyricists, and neither am I. Kama might have been able to help, but he hasn't been on the past 2-3 days. This was all I could scrap together.

Reasoning Rainbow

Three curious fillies smiled as they held their ears against the door of the library. They had come to pick up some books on how to write erotic fiction about futas, whatever those were. Cherilee called it her ‘fetish’. None of them really knew what a fetish was, but they were willing to try anything to get their cutie marks!

To their complete and utter surprise the door had been locked. They had been about to leave, but then they heard weird noises that seemed to be coming from inside. Scootaloo, a proud and blustering pegasus, thought it sounded like ponies were fighting inside. Applebloom, the small orange and red earth pony of the group, disagreed, saying that it sounded more like the ancient Zebrican ritual songs Zecora had shown her. Sweetie Belle, the small white unicorn, just blushed brightly, remembering the time she heard these same noises coming from her sister’s room and went to investigate, walking in on Rarity and a stallion doing... things.

Twinkle Shine showed her teeth cheerfully as she strode down the street, stopping only to greet friends and family as she listened in on today’s “To-Do’s and Taboos”. The mare’s stride slowed to a crawl as she spotted three fillies with their ears plastered to the library door.

Unofficially, Twinkle Shine was known as Ponyville’s local rumor-monger, a position she enjoyed quite a bit. Most ponies avoided her when not seeking to learn about the next possible pregnancy or divorce. More importantly, she would never pass on the opportunity to chance upon any particularly juicy news about the resident princess.

“Hey girls, what are you up to?” She asked, ears twitching at the barely audible sounds coming from the library.

“Not much Miss Shine, just trying to figure out what’s going on in the library. The door’s locked and there are weird noises coming from it.” Answered Sweetiebelle as her friends continued listening at the door and arguing quietly between themselves about whether it was fighting or singing.

Twinkle Shine placed her ear against the door, and slowly a sinister smile spread across her face.

Discord left his private voyeur session to observe the chatty cathy that had come to Twilight’s door. Unfortunately for Twilight, it gave him a wonderful idea. All it would take was just one snap of his fingers, and then “OHH FUUUCK ME HARDER!”

Discord smiled as the replicated voice of Twilight echoed throughout the town. Today was a good day. Of course, he made sure Twilight and Alex weren’t disturbed in their cute little session.

Parents hurried their children inside, young teenagers and the more conservative ponies around town blushed brightly, but Twinkle Shine simply stood still in open-mouthed in shock. It was a good shock. She had never even imagined the day she’d get to spread word of Princess Twilight getting laid far and wide. Her contacts in Manehatten would love this.

This was the best day of her life…

This needed a song.

“Morning in Ponyville shimmers, morning in Ponyville’s to-op notch. Because Twilight has a stallion humping her crotch.” Twinkle Shine did a little spin as a crowd began to gather. “We ponyvillian’s always wondered, if Twilight actually had her female part, but now we all know better, because Twilight’s getting fucked hard!”

A few ponies stepped forward, perverts, rumor-mongers, princess watchers, all of them rose up ready to sing. “There’s the sound, of slapping fle-esh, there’s the moans of orgasmic bliss. Our Ponyville, is so star studded and famous, Do you think this endless source of paparazzi fodder will ever end? We don’t think it will!”

“Morning in Ponyville shimmers, morning in Ponyville’s to-op notch. Because Twilight has a stallion humping her crotch.” The growing crowd now twirled as they resang what was now the chorus. “We ponyvillian’s always wondered , if Twilight actually had her female part, but now we all know better, because Twilight’s getting fucked hard!”

The crowd began to circle the tree library, lost in the magic of song as they let their hearts out to sing, “There’s the moneyed interviews, the constant REMA support. We’re all making money hooves down, and Twilight’s sex can only improve our cash income!” The whole crowd broke into a choreographed salsa session for a few moments before beginning their finale.

“Morning in Ponyville shimmers, morning in Ponyville’s to-op notch. Because Twilight has a stallion huuuuuumpiiiiiiing heerrrrrrrrr CROOOOOOOOOOTCH!” The crowd threw up their hooves in exuberant lyrical climax, before each ran off to call the newspaper they worked for.

Rainbow Dash smiled as she stealthily approached the library. She'd heard the orgasmic screams emanating from Twilights home, the moans were so loud that It was no wonder the whole town had heard them, too. Though she herself had been the only one willing to take the risk and try to find out who had finally fucked Twilight. Every stallion in town had been accounted for, and the town matchmakers were still reeling from having missed out on pairing up a princess.

Rainbow Dash's smile grew. In a way, sneaking into the library was a service to the community. She was kinda like a reporter traveling into a hostile nation. One wrong move and she could lose her head, or the respect of one of her best friends, but she had to find out what was going on. The ponies had a right to know!

Rainbow Dash, heroic motives in hoof, silently slipped into the bedroom window of the treebrary. To her shock, it was empty. She had never considered that the virginal princess would let anyone rut her except in the most traditional of fashions. Rainbow Dash, having had her only guess fouled, stopped to consider just where the librarian might be.

The next obvious place was the library itself. The bookworm had once admitted she found paper a little sexy, after a few dozen sips of wine. Maybe the librarian had gotten kinky and reclined on a book pile while she was rutted. Unlikely, but Rainbow Dash had to admit it was kind of hawt.

Rainbow crept down the stairs, unwilling to risk the sound of flying revealing her position. Thankfully, her Pegasus magic proved to be enough to prevent the stairs from creaking as she descended.

Rainbow stopped halfway down as she spotted a blanket topped pile of something in the center of the main floor. It was a bit too small for two ponies, but taking a look around from her heightened position and not seeing any sign of Twilight, Rainbow zeroed in on this one mystery.

Soft as a feather, the normally brash pegasus gently lifted up the blanket. She wasn't prepared for what she saw.

In Ponyville’s market square. there was a group of ponies, too few to be a hoard, but too many to be a mob, really, it was just a generic crowd of colorful little horses. All of which were waiting on news from their polychromatic spy on the answer to the question on everybody's lips. ‘Who was fucking Twilight?’

The pegasus took a brief breath, and began her tale of intrigue, debauchery, and the total badassness that was herself.

"O-okay, so as we all agreed, I snuck in just as planned, but she wasn't in the bedroom." There were several murmurs of disbelief from the gathered townsfolk. They too had expected the naive acting Princess to go the traditional route.

"Did you get the wrong bedroom?” an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the crowd, an annoyed glare from Rainbow shutting them up.

"Of course I got the right bedroom, and she wasn't there. I, reasonably, guessed that the book humper had decided to rut on a pile of books downstairs or something." The gathered crowd nodded in agreement. It was generally assumed, mostly thanks to Rarity, that Twilight masturbated with books from her "private" collection.

"When I got there, all I could see was a blanket, too small for two fully grown ponies." The whole town gasped, each mind jumping to some perverted assumption or another. The most common was a shrinking spell, but a few of the less royalist ponies jumped to shotacolt, or perhaps, Celestia forbid, Blankflankophilia.

"I, being the ninja I am, had no problem sneaking over to check inside." There were a couple chuckles and eye rolls from the crowd before Rainbow leveled a glare at them.

"Good, now. I...I'm not sure any of you will believe me, so... let me just describe things in the order that I saw them..." Rainbow Dash steadied herself and took a deep breathe. A small sense of dread enveloped the crowd. Rainbow Dash almost never showed any weaknesses. This was serious.

"O-okay... so I was right about it not being two full sized ponies, it was only one." Rainbow let out a sigh as the previously stated 'less royalist' ponies gasped sighs of their own in relief, in tandem, to a tune. It was really quite disturbing.

After the short musical, and a yelled 'who was it!' from somepony in the back of the crowd, Rainbow continued.

"Right, so as I was saying, I saw one pony, a mare. By then I heard Twi's shower was on so I figured I had a bit of time." At this, nearly the entire crowd gasped simultaneously before they started gossiping among themselves at the scandal that surrounded one of the princesses being a 'fillyfooler', or lesbian if you didn't feel like being rude and offensive.

*Ahem* "If you'd let me finish!" Dash yelled, turning every eye on her again.

"U-um, right, as I was saying, it was a mare. A pegasus mare, that couldn't have been older than eightteen. Her coat was white, her mane was... brown. She- she had a cutie mark of a , well I’m not sure what it was, and... she had the m-most adorable bedmane I've ever seen, and the- the cutest look on her face while she shook her luscious, grabbable- squeezable... rump in her slee..." Rainbow Dash's description petered off, her speech slowing as her eyes glazed over, mouth open and drooling even as her wings unfurled and stuck straight up into the air.

"Rainbow!" A word yelled simultaneously by a crowd of ponies, turning it into more of a roar, successfully brought her mind away from her fantasies of Twilight's 'mare'friend.

"Ow! What! Wait... Right, back to what I was saying about Twi's mare. She, well, she had jizz all over her face. I didn't notice it at first, 'cause her fur you know, but her head was pretty much covered in the stuff. I-I figured I'd make a quick run through twi's place to find the stallion, but just then the shower turned off. So I bolted, and here I am."

"..." Was the entire crowds reaction to the revelation that not only had Princess Twilight Sparkle found a (still unknown) stallion, but that she had started a herd with him and an, according to Rainbow's still painfully stiff wings, quite attractive pegasus mare.

“...Wait... Why were you close enough to her face to tell ‘white’ from white?”

“U-um, no reason… At all, hehe.”

Alex felt something crusting his face as he-

“Oh yeah…” Alex wasn’t sure what to think as he rose up. He’d been tricked by Discord, face fucked by Twilight, and was also a pony. His life had pretty much done a-

Alex’s eyes went wide ((which was really saying something, seeing as how they were big and cute by default)) as he saw the cornucopia of technology before him. There was way more than he had ever owned. He was about to lament the lack of a power socket, but then he realized that Discord had promised everything would work. Discord was a trickster god, but trickster gods had their own rules, most considered outright lies to be out of bounds, too easy.

Alex knew he had some gaming to do.