“Mud, mud mud!” I groused, replacing my tenth towel of the day near the front door of Daisy’s Fleuronic Fantasies. A howling gale left over from the earlier storm, which forced me to set up shop indoors that day, blew a cool, and very welcome, breeze through my sweaty mane.

On the one hoof, this meant I wasn’t standing around in the heat, which as any mare will tell you is the worst thing ever to deal with during estrus since you’re already feeling feverish. On the other hoof, the threshold at the front door was being trampled over by droves of muddy-hooved customers, waiting in front of the desk I sat behind with all the bits we’d earned for the day.

I shuddered involuntarily, wanting nothing more than to find the nearest rain puddle and dive into it to clean the spatters off my normally impeccable coat and mane. I wiped my forehead with one of my spare towels and prayed for the end of my shift, where I’d hopefully find relief in the form of a handsome stallion. Lacking a cold shower, I decided a glass of cold water would have to do for the time being.

Taking advantage of the temporary absence of customers, I rushed back to the house. Slaloming around the long sofa in the living room to get to the icebox on the other side in our tiny kitchen, I noticed my good friend and Boss Mare, Daisy, had the door closed to her office. So I was alone… and in heat... if any human stallions decided to show up to take advantage.

I shoved that thought as far into the back of my mind as I could. I was being absurd, after all. Discussing our new human guests from across the dimensional portal with Lyra tended to bring out the patently ridiculous, given her instant obsession with the bipedal species. However silly it may of been, there was no denying their dark allure: the predatory appearance, the repressed sexuality that took form in their modest use of clothing to cover themselves up, and their embarrassment at the very mention of sex in casual conversation.

To make things even more awkward, we ponies lacked the need to wear clothes except for special occasions, and according to Lyra, humans took notice of certain things we took for granted. It wasn’t difficult to imagine a man, as meek as mild as they seemed, to simply lose control at the sight of a beautiful mare and take advantage. I shivered at the thought, not entirely against such a development. Still uneasy, I was ready to slam the lid on the icebox at the first sign of intruders, I carefully opened the appliance, discovering it free of humans, and drank my ice water in uneasy peace.

The bell at the front door rang, introducing me to a familiar, if not always friendly face. “Good afternoon, Bon Bon. What can I do you for?” I cringed internally at the filly fooler-ish interpretations that one might draw from my unintended slip, but maintained my professional demeanor. I was randier than a rabbit after winter wrap-up, and more frustrated than Luna after nine-hundred and ninety-nine years on the moon, but Celestia knows I’d never be that desperate for intimacy…

Never.

Bon Bon hadn’t noticed, distractedly waving her right forehoof back and forth delicately. I wondered if she’d caught a good whiff of my heat… and if she was entertaining any thoughts of me for it. “I just have a little request is all,” the earth pony mare replied vaguely.

What gives, Bons? I wondered to myself, my mind taking her statement in various rude directions. The last we’d spoken, she hadn’t had any issue with me. Hay, that made her one of the few mares that did! Stowing my concerns for Bon Bon’s strange behavior, and my musings on the jealousy of lesser mares, I pressed on. “Well I’m here for all your floral needs, so ask away.”

Bon Bon nodded, “Well it’s rather technical since the flowers I need, that is the colors I need, are a little bit contrasting.”

She says to me inside the largest flower shop in town. “Come on, Bon Bon, look around: we’ve got all the colors of the rainbow in here.” I tossed my mane, proudly, showing off my two-toned tail. Perhaps somewhat rudely, I’d later thought given the mismatch of colors on her body — I mean come on, pink and blue tail stripes? — in all its pink and red pastel-colored glory.

Bon Bon looked towards the floor, more bashful than ever. Maybe she’s distantly related to Lily somehow? “I-I know... wh-what I mean is, I need the colors to be on the same flower. I heard you had some of those northern crystal roses; the ones that adapt to any pattern you expose them to?”

I blinked. Why did she want that? Nevertheless, I maintained my professional demeanor and nodded, gesturing towards the door leading to the greenhouse. “Yeah, we got a half dozen in from the Crystal Empire a few days back. But, Bon Bon… those are very expensive. They only grow in the caverns underneath the Yak mountains and they have to be kept —”

“— In very special conditions since they adapt to the first flash of color they’re exposed to.” Bon Bon finished for me. “I know. And I assure you, Rose, money isn’t an issue this time round.”

That meant a lot coming from the mare who once scowled at a farm filly over a matter of a bushel of apples. The poor gal must still be having nightmares from the description of the story I’d heard secondhoof. And yet, here she was, about to shell out even more bits for that flower than her now-legendary sackful of apples. “Alright…if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“I also need... two.”

My ‘professional demeanor’ shattered like china beneath the hooves of a buffalo stampede as I tallied up the number of bits in my head. “Two? Bon Bon… that’s quite a hefty price tag you’re looking at there.”

The chocolatier looked up at me intensely, exhaling her anxiety in one long sigh. “I know, but please, trust me; this is very important, and I have to do it right.”

I had no idea in Tartarus what right and wrong meant to her in the context of our discussion, but I understood the value of bits well enough. “Of course, Bon Bon. The customer is always right, after all. So what colors will you be needing them in?”

She reared back her hindquarters and flicked her two-toned tail at me by way of response.

She’ll be needing them in her… rear end? I thought dimly to myself, before my brain took back control over my mind from my estrus, leaving me feeling stupid. “Oh, you mean you want them in the same colors as your tail?”

Bon Bon nodded back, her eyes looking straight down at the only patch of floor not covered by muddy towels.

“Oh, well that shouldn’t be… too…” And then it clicked. “You mean…”

Bon Bon nodded, her face neutral.

“B-but two? Who would you —” I stammered, still not quite believing it. “D-do you mean you’re going to…”

Bon Bon nodded again, more slowly this time.

My head darted towards the door leading to the kitchen. Daisy wasn’t here, but one can never be too sure. The door to the greenhouse was shut, meaning Lily’s virgin ears would not be desecrated by our... unnatural discussion. Hurriedly shutting the window to deny any snooping pegasi a chance at espionage, I lowered my voice conspiratorially. “S-so what made you change your mind? Last we talked you were telling us about how —”

“— I know…” Bon Bon cut in sharply again, shades of her usual grouchy character returning. “I guess I’ve just had a… change of perspective lately.”

A change of perception or a change of scenery? I wondered, my flower quivering impatiently at the stem from the series of erotic images flashing through my mind, leaving my mouth to its own devices. “Y-you do know that doing… it won’t be exactly like with a regular stallion, right?”

“Actually not so different…” Bon Bon replied with a grin. “Just more... drawn out.”

More drawn out? I pondered. Is she saying they last even longer than stallions in the bedroom? Lyra hadn’t mentioned to this to me before. Trying repeatedly, and unsuccessfully, to pick my jaw up off the counter, I stumbled through the rest of the conversation. In the wake of Bon Bon’s departure, I was left two-hundred bits richer and a great deal sweatier than when our discussion began. The impossible had come true; Bon Bon was joining a herd with Lyra and a human stallion!

Was I really missing out on humanity? I’d seen the occasional human at my shop and found them… formidable to say the least — bipeds like minotaurs, though not as large or broad with an ape-like upper half. By coincidence or no, most of the immigrants to Equestria were young adult men in their sexual prime and the way they’d look at passing mares, unclothed and vulnerable, told me all I needed to know about them. Give them a month or two, and nature would take its course… and in at least case I knew of, it already had. I swallowed hard as Bon Bon walked off, leaving me alone with my shadow…

My very hungry human shadow. A relentless predator who hunted me patiently, an obsessed stalker who would not rest until he’d tasted mare…

Until he’d tasted me.

The thought made me shiver despite the warm temperatures, my hoof involuntarily moving towards my suddenly-sodden crotch. There were no customers around, so maybe...

“Hey Rose?” A voice called out to me, breaking his spell.

I immediately disappeared beneath my desk — all 5 foot nine and one-hundred forty pounds of me. “Don’t hunt me! I don’t taste good!”

“I’ll take your word on that, sweetie!” Daisy chortled as she came in from the back entrance to the house, then made a show of waving her hoof in front of her face as if to dispel a smell. “Whew! Rose, I think the stallions can smell you from all the way across Equestria. I better take over the front desk. I think one look at you is enough to knock you up! You can take over for me deadheading those bushes outside.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Daisy!” Banging my head on the bottom of the desk with a grunt, I dragged myself and what little remained of my dignity out the back door, confident that any men lurking outside wouldn’t likely be hiding in the rose bushes. Ignoring Daisy’s wisecrack as I headed out the door, I knew that with my heat just beginning, it was going to be a long week.

*****

My estrus passed, but my fears and fantasies did not. One week turned into a month, followed by a year, but my stalker never came for me. No matter how much I feared him. No matter how much I desired him.

Still, I could picture him, lurking unseen out of the corner of my eye. No matter how many stallions I was with, my obsession with him only grew until finally I couldn’t take it any more. I had to have him… or more to the point, I had to let him have me. But for it to happen, I was going to have to take matters into my own hooves. The only question was… how? There was no way to communicate my fantasy to human men without creating an awkward and cringe-inducing scene. And I was terrified of confiding in any of my friends. Lily would freak, and Daisy…

Well, she’d never let me live it down for as long as I lived.

Then the answer walked right into me. Carrying a sign, no less! Sea Swirl, a unicorn mare living on the northern end of Ponyville I only barely knew, asked me to join a group that called themselves H.E.R.D.—for Harmony Equestrian Reclamation Division—which was protesting the existence of a human/pony escort service called Gentleman For Mares. They were based in Manehatten but had an increasing number of branches throughout Equestria, and many mares were swearing by them… to the consternation of some ponies, including the group I was now with,. Most of the ponies with me lounging on the shore of Saddle Lake weren’t very interested in what she had to say, but a small cluster of supporters with angry faces gathered to hear her story about a man named “Harry” who had used her, ‘tricking’ her into making love with him just so he could make her a paying customer.

In retrospect, I should have told her she’d misspelled the word ‘deceivers’ on her sign. Oh well…

“Surely, you can see the obvious threat humanity poses to us, Rose.” The fanatical, sign-wielding unicorn insisted. “The sustained flow of human immigrants into our dimension is going to destroy our culture, break our bonds of harmony, and undo hundreds of years of peace!” she insisted. “Herds will crumble, stallions will be forgotten and many mares will be hurt. Won’t you help me stop this? Won’t you help expose this evil to all?” she asked earnestly as the others looked at me expectantly.

For the sake of the information I so desperately wanted, I decided to play along. “This all sounds very serious, Sea Swirl. Tell me where this “Gentleman For Mares” is and I will bring the fight to their very doorstep!” I gave a stiff salute, prompting smiles and hoofclops from the assembled supporters.

Sea Swirl looked unconvinced. “Such dedication from a new member! But are you sure you won’t end up being taken in by their lies? Your reputation is well known, Roseluck!”

Firefly, strike me down! Was it even obvious to mares I didn’t know on the other end of town how badly I needed human attention? But the lie came easily to me after a year of practice of giving it. “Hey now, filly! I’m all about stallions. Preferably with a six-foot wingspan and eight inches to spare… If you know what I mean!” That much was true enough, at least. I tended to go for well-hung pegasi, but increasingly, even they weren’t doing it for me. My human stalker had supplanted them in my psyche, and wouldn’t let me go.

And increasingly, I didn’t want him to.

Sea Swirl rolled her eyes, bringing hoof to face. “Uh, yeah. That’s kind of what I meant! You’re not exactly the most… loyal mare that I’ve met. How do you find common cause with us when you will so quickly sell-out your stallion for the purpose of another cheap fling?”

In a flash of anger, I felt my right forehoof lift off the grass. A single blow to her horn would be all it took to express my displeasure with her nasty tone and judgey stare. But before I could rear up and pop her one, I remembered I was supposed to be undercover and that despite being an earth pony I was absolutely useless in a fight. Chances were, I would probably miss her horn with my kick and would end up getting my flank kicked by these ponies if I tried anything untoward. Stomping my hoof back down hard to let them know I meant business, I changed tack. “Whatever you may think you know about my reputation is all horseapples! I wouldn’t dare sleep with a human. If you knew me at all, you would know that I live in fear of them! I’m terrified of being stalked by one!” Again, that was true as far as it went. I wasn’t about to say that there was also an unmistakable thrill that accompanied that fear.

That seemed to take the unicorn agitator by surprise. “Is that so? But don’t you have to deal with those two-legged freaks everyday?”

Sensing victory, I moved in to complete my deception, making a face. “I do, Sea Swirl, and it’s horrible! They’re so scary with their pointed teeth. I-I heard they even eat meat!” My shiver was real, though its source was decidedly different than they thought.

There was a loud murmur of assent from the gathered H.E.R.D. members.

Sea Swirl regarded me for a moment, then nodded. “I guess I had you figured all wrong, Rose. I’ll give you directions to the main office in Manehatten. If you can carry out a little… ‘redecorating’ of the building itself, we might consider you to join us.” Sea Swirl reached into her saddlebag and handed me part of what appeared to have once been a newspaper article. “Good luck, my sister.”

I saluted her again, exulting in my victory. “I won’t let you down!” I told them, even as I was planning to do just that. I’d make up an excuse later, but that was a question for another day. Directions in hand, I went straight to the train station and didn’t look back. For if I did, I feared I’d lose my nerve.

I looked down at the rain-soaked non-slick, steel surface of the tram to avoid the faces of the other passengers for most of the ride, tucking my protruding forelock back under my raincoat. The rain was blowing into the compartment sideways, making me wish they’d designed them like the train I’d rode into town on, certain they’d made them this way and scheduled rain on this day just to harass me. Whoever’s idea it was to build a carriage with a roof but no walls needs to have their head examined! At least I could take solace in the fact that the stone-lined street wouldn’t be reduced to a river of what ponies in Stalliongrad referred to as ‘rasputitsa’, and what Ponyvillians simply called ‘mud’.

It was night, a time back in Ponyville to be indoors with a good stallion to keep you company and a sturdy lock to keep the monsters of the Everfree out, but here in Manehatten neither human nor pony need fear the unknown. There were police ponies out on patrol, armed with powerful clubs holstered to their sides, stern looking and tough, but the atmosphere on the street was friendly, if a bit harried by the rain. The shops positively sparkled with light and color, combining unicorn magic with ‘magic’ of technology brought to us by our human guests. Finally reaching the 7th street/40th avenue junction, I jumped off onto the paved sidewalk with a loud ‘clop’, my heart beating a mile a minute as I finally neared my destination…

If not my very destiny.

“Don’t these ponies ever sleep?”I grumbled to myself in an effort to master my growing nerves, feeling smaller than ever before being surrounded my other raincoat clad ponies and people at street-level. Taking a left on 40th avenue, I made my way down the less-traveled and much older shopping district. The relative darkness only added to my foreboding considering where I was going. It felt wrong, thinking as I was about the stallions — comfort horses as they’re known — that haunted the big cities, selling themselves for money to buy ‘buck’, ‘dash’, and other sorts of drugs they’d become addicted to.

Even knowing where I was going, I almost walked past it. The boring old brick building blended in with the usual scenery of an older shopping district, overshadowed by the newer, flashier shops on 7th street. That is, until a white carriage pulled by four stallions pulled up beneath the shelter of the porte cochère, depositing a beautiful blue unicorn mare dressed all in white; her horn glinted with a silver, ringed ornament which spiraled up its length and cost more than I made in a month.

Encouraged by the sight of my fellow sister — or perhaps very wealthy distant cousin — walking inside the innocent-looking structure without a single hint of guilt or shame, I steeled myself for battle. I couldn’t shake the fear that I was handing myself over to my worst enemy, which in fact I was. Well if that prissy unicorn can do it, so can I! Strutting up to the front door, throwing back the hood of my raincoat to reveal my glorious, perfectly coordinated two-toned red and pink mane, I flashed the man at the door a roguish grin before setting hoof inside.

It wasn’t nearly as good as Miss Unicorn’s entrance, but it was one the doorman surely wouldn’t forget. They never do.

Author's Note

The scene with Roseluck and Bon Bon talking is taken from "The First Gentleman" by Betashade with his express permission and switched to Roseluck's perspective of the conversation.

Thanks to Betashade for letting me tie our two stories into a single continuity and to Firesight for editing and suggestions.

Now that the story is completely out of balance, I'll definitely need to expand the chapters. Welcome to TSoP 2.0 folks!