The Greatest Stories Never Told (Vol. 1)

The castle was finally in Phoenix's view and despite the fact that it was falling apart, he thought the architecture was impressive. Trying to avoid panicking due to his fear of heights, he crossed the rickety rope bridge as quickly as he could without acknowledging how long the fall would be. He walked into the castle, to find absolutely nothing. He strained his ears and eventually heard magical blasts and shouts from a distant part of the palace. He instantly galloped towards the noise, but could only make it out when he entered the room.

The girls each had some kind of golden jewellery around their neck or in Twilight’s case, on her head. Nightmare Moon was in front of them cackling like a madmare, as Phoenix noticed the navy blue hue surrounding the girls, preventing them from moving or using the Elements.

“’Tis commendable that you found the Elements, but did you really think that I would simply stand and allow you to vanquish me?” Nightmare Moon said mockingly. Phoenix ran from pillar to pillar, getting closer and closer to Nightmare Moon. He had to do something. Anything. Anything to help the girls. He leapt from behind the pillar, into Nightmare Moon's line of sight.

"HEY! Your mother's so fat, when she turns around, ponies yell: BEWARE THE MOON!" Phoenix yelled. Nightmare Moon looked at him in shock for a moment before glaring as Pinkie giggled.

"What? Why are you saying such things about my mother?" Nightmare Moon asked.

"I'm just watching your lips move. They move more than your mother's do when she meets a nice stallion." Phoenix rudely replied.

"W-well... Your mother is so fat she... she has to iron her undergarments in the street." Nightmare Moon weakly replied. The girls realised that Nightmare Moon's grasp on them was weakening.

"Well, I took a photo of your mother last Hearth's Warming. And it's still printing!" Phoenix yelled, staying strong.

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!" Pinkie called.

"Well, your mother is so foolish, she tries to insult you with 'your mother' jokes." Nightmare Moon replied, all of her concentration on the stallion.

"Okay. Okay. Your mother... is like a brick. She's DIRTY. She's FLAT ON ALL SIDES. And she always gets LAID BY MEXICOLTS!" Phoenix yelled. The girls couldn't help it. They all cheered before they began to charge the Elements.

"Do you really think you can make a fool out of me?!" Nightmare Moon yelled. She then used her magic to blast Phoenix out of the stain-glass window that was behind him. Only for him to be caught by Celestia who was flying outside.

"Surprise, motherfucka." Phoenix said as the Elements blasted Nightmare Moon and caused all of the darkness to be expelled from her, revealing Princess Luna. The girls and Luna then fell to the ground, unconscious. Phoenix then looked back at Celestia, who was still carrying him.

"Want to draw on their faces?" Phoenix asked. Celestia looked up in thought for a moment before nodding and flying through the window.