The Greatest Stories Never Told (Vol. 1)

“What about you, lowly stallion? Is there anything you can do that Trixie can’t?” Trixie mocked with a smirk. Phoenix simply smiled.

“Biologically, I can think of a few things.” Phoenix stated calmly. Most of the audience began to laugh. Trixie simply looked offended.

“Do not joke in Trixie’s presence! Anything you can do, I can do better." Trixie boasted.

"Ha!" Phoenix laughed.

I can do anything better than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can, yes, I can!

Anything you can be, I can be greater.
Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

No, you're NOT!

Yes, I am. Yes, I am!
I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge.

I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow.

I can live on bread and cheese.

And only on that?

Yes.

So can a rat!

Any note you can reach, I can go higher.

I can sing anything higher than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I CAN!

"How do you sing that high?" Phoenix asked.

"I'm a mare!" Trixie replied.

"Could have fooled me, love." Phoenix said to the crowd causing them to laugh.

Anything you can say, I can say softer.

I can say anything softer than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can. YES, I CAN!

I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.

I can drink it quicker and get even sicker!

I can open any safe.

Without bein' caught?

Sure.

That's what I thought, you crook!

Any note you can hold, I can hold longer.

I can hold any note longer than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I can.
No, you C-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-N'T!

Yes, you ca-a-a-an!

"Impressed?" Trixie asked smugly.

"No. I always knew you were full of hot air." Phoenix replied, causing the crowd to laugh again.

Anything you say, I can say faster.

I can say anything faster than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

Noyoucan't.

YesIcan!

I can jump a hurdle.

I can wear a girdle.

I can knit a sweater.

I can fill it better!

I can do most anything!

Can you bake a pie?

No.

Neither can I.

Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter.

I can sing anything sweeter than you.

No, you can't~.

Yes, I can~.

No, you can't~.

Yes, I can~.

No, you can't~.

Yes, I can~.

No, you can't, can't, CAN'T!

Yes, I can, can, CAN!

Yes, I can~!
No, you can't~!

The crowd the proceeded to scream and cheer as Phoenix and Trixie bowed and curtseyed respectively. Phoenix then pushed her off of the stage into a puddle of mud.

"I'm a better arsehole. I win." Phoenix said as he walked off of the stage as Trixie ran towards the edge of town, not wanting to return.