Chapters Chapter 0.2
9-2-13, 7:47 A.M.
Jeremy stumbled against the medic’s office door, only to find that it too was locked. Shit , he swore under his breath. He falteringly knocked, leaning against the door and barely caring when it opened. The last thing he heard before he blacked out was a stifled cry of surprise.
9-3-13, 5:07 P.M.
Jeremy mumbled something unintelligible even to him as he came to. He was in the nurse’s office, in a bed that was too small for him. Looking at the clock, he couldn’t quite comprehend what he was seeing, and thus stared at it, lost in a daze. He felt… sleepy. No pain, definitely not in pain, but sleep… Sleepy. What was he doing again? He wondered vaguely. The nurse came in, and he gave her a shaky smile.
“Hey… doc… what’s up? Hehe,” he burbled.
The nurse surveyed him. “You’re alive… somehow,” she muttered. “Right now you’re high on morphine sulfate, it was the strongest thing I had for your stab wound,” she continued briskly.
Stab wound? Jeremy barely remembered getting stabbed. He certainly didn’t feel like he had been… wait. What was that around his waist? All… white… and fabric-y. Wait, that’s not a word! He thought, laughing a bit.
The nurse sighed and shook her head. “The office staff said you’re actually managing to kill these people, so they think that makes it okay to send you out on suicide missions. Dumbasses . Now you stay right here, and don’t move, you hear?”
Finally, this struck a chord within Jeremy’s brain. “No… no! Gotta save… the others…” he managed to get out, looking at her with a pleading expression.
The nurse crossed her arms. “Yeah? Right now you can barely talk, let alone fight,” she answered matter-of-factly, and Jeremy winced at her sudden increase in volume – they had been whispering. What if there was a soldier outside the door?
True to form, he heard steps outside, coming towards them. The nurse paled, and seized up in fright. Jeremy, meanwhile, scrambled around before finding the magnum, and waited behind the door. He didn’t have long to wait as another soldier burst through, leveling a pistol at the nurse. Jeremy brought up the magnum and fired once, and the soldier was flung forward by the force of the shot, spattering the bed Jeremy had just been in with a fresh paint of cherry-red. The pistol clattered to the floor, and Jeremy reached down and picked it up, before looking at nurse, who appeared shocked at the speed of the confrontation. The man groaned, clutching his chest as he attempted to sit up, and Jeremy attempted to put another shot into him. Unfortunately, the magnum clicked – it had run out of bullets! He pointed the pistol at the man instead, and ended his life with a few more rounds to the head.
The nurse looked at him, finally bringing a hand to her temple.
"Just… If there were any other option, I wouldn’t even be considering this. But… the phone and Internet are out, and they’ve barricaded off the school, nobody can get through either way. So… you know what, fine. You want to die a hero? Go right ahead,” she sighed.
She unlocked a drawer, and pulled his backpack out from under a shelf. From inside the drawer, she took out a bunch of medical supplies – Jeremy spied gauze, more morphine syringes, and a few other things. These she put into his backpack, before setting it down before him in a huff. “If you get shot, take a shot of morphine and bandage the wound – but don’t take anything more than two per day, or you’ll overdose. As long as you can’t feel the pain, you should be fine. And… take care of yourself out there.”
Before he left, Jeremy looked at her. “You, uh… wouldn’t know how to use this, would you?” he asked, pointing at the magnum. The nurse sighed, and to his surprise took the gun from him, easily flicking out the cylinder and pulling the right-sized rounds from his backpack, inserting each one with a practiced skill.
Jeremy looked at her with surprise written all over his face, and the nurse smiled. “I watch a lot of action movies,” she explained, and Jeremy gave her a confused smile.
“…Thanks,” he mumbled as he headed out the door.
9-3-13, 8:08 P.M.
Holy hell, he was hungry. Jeremy had been clearing out the corridors for hours now, somehow managing to get the drop on everyone else just by virtue of not wearing any shoes or loud clothes. Unfortunately, he didn’t always leave the confrontations unscathed – the bullet wounds in his chest attested to that. On the other hand, he had plenty of morphine, though he tried not to use it too liberally – that kind of thing wasn’t good for him. Dammit, he had always sworn he’d be the last of his friends to get addicted to the heavy shit like morphine, yet here he was. Speaking of which, he hadn’t managed to find any of his friends yet, though he had been avoiding the gym until he was sure the area was clear. Finding no soldiers in sight, he sprinted across the cafeteria to find that it was still locked – dammit. He had tried shooting the lock on the staff entrance, only to find that that didn’t actually work. He desperately looked around, feeling as though he were about to drop, and figured he’d give it another go with the steel pipe, maybe break the door down. Taking said pipe out of its chosen place in a belt loop on his pants, he raised it over his shoulder like a batter about to knock one out of the park. His first hit wasn’t too successful, but the second one made a dent in the door – Jeremy hoped it was plaster, or even wood.
To his surprise, the fifth hit went right through the door. He reached a fist through, and unlocked the door from the other side, swinging it open with barely contained glee. He hadn’t eaten for over a day, and holy shit he was starving.
A minute later, he was lost in the joy of prepackaged sandwiches and other assorted goodies, sugar cookies prominent. For a moment, he spaced out, watching the door he had made his way through in case anyone tried to get through. There was plenty of food here, enough to feed the entire school in his opinion.
9-3-13, 9:13 P.M.
Jeremy peeked through the doors to the gym, made of steel and firmly locked. To his shock, he saw so many more of the black soldiers watching the other doors, milling around, and generally terrorizing the huge group of kids and teachers that was in there with them. How many were there – twenty? Fifty?! Too many. Oh my god, how was he going to do this? How could he kill that many at once? Oh shit, one was coming this way – and this one had a machine gun in hand . Jeremy ducked around behind the door, hoping the guy didn’t come outside. He heard the door click, and elected to sprint around the corner. Unfortunately, the man saw him, and he heard footsteps as they gave chase. He whirled around, magnum in hand, and just as the man came around the corner, he unloosed as many shots as he could, hating the firing speed of the magnum. Most caught on the man’s jacket, but no blood was visible – did this guy have a bulletproof vest? To Jeremy’s surprise, the second one caught the man in the neck, and he actually spun around as he died. The last expression the man had was one of utmost surprise, and Jeremy weirdly felt that he was mirroring that exact same expression. After a moment, he snapped back to reality – he had no time to lose. He grabbed the machine gun, noting how heavy it was – this thing weighed much more than the .22 rifles he was used to. Examining the man’s vest, he noticed “Kevlar” written on the tag and grinned – this was going to be helpful.
A moment later, he came back to the door, outfitted completely in the other guy’s outfit – there was so much black Kevlar clothing he’d be surprised if anyone at all could recognize him. So, he was here. All the other kids were in there. What was he going to do about it? Uh… Well, he was dressed like one of them… Maybe he could just walk in and pretend he was one of them. And then… shoot them while their backs were turned? God no, that was so stupid. They’d be running around everywhere. The only way that would work is if they were all in a corridor… and their backs were turned, so the vests wouldn’t work… and he was currently standing in just such a corridor. So… what to do? He had hoped that the man might have carried something flashy and obvious, like a grenade, but he was flat out of luck on that front.
He decided, after some consideration, to walk into the gym – at least to size up the situation. To be fair, it was a stupid idea, but he was out of options and in way over his head. In fact, Jeremy thought, the only reason he wasn’t blacking out right now out of panic was due to the morphine coursing through his veins. Okay, confident. You own the fucking place. Lights, camera action. Oh dear God, they can see me. Almost as soon as he walked in, one of them walked up and asked him a question he couldn’t understand – right, shit, these guys were foreign. Jeremy gave a noncommittal grunt in response, hoping his voice was similar enough, and after a moment’s pause the other man turned away. Looking around, Jeremy saw that most of the kids were on the bleachers, huddled together and crying. They looked starving, too – had nobody been feeding them? Damn, now he felt bad about pigging out earlier. He strode across the gym floor, the other guy's too-small shoes squeaking and hurting something fierce as he scuffed them along. He could feel the fear singing through his stomach, and tried his best to ignore it – he suspected it’d be a whole lot worse if he were sober right now, and concentrated on that thought in an effort to escape the terror.
Finally, he came to the back, where a massive stash of weapons was – if he hadn’t been in the middle of a veritable army of hostile, armed, trigger-happy gunmen, he’d have started shedding manly man-tears at the sight of so many guns and so much ammunition. Holy shit, was that a chain gun? It looked heavy – Jeremy was beyond tempted to pick it up, but he didn’t think the others would approve. A small part of him whined that he might never have the chance again, and he managed to actually crack a smile, despite his fearful misgivings on what he was doing. So far, nobody had even so much as looked at him awry, which Jeremy was thanking each and every god that existed for – he must have the luck of the Freeman to pull something as spectacularly stupid as this. Maybe they thought he was dropping off the machine gun – speaking of which, he’d better grab some ammo for that. Jeremy rooted around until he found a stack of clips, already loaded, and grabbed as many as he could carry. Oh hey, more Kevlar vests. Jeremy took one and moved into a corner to replace his, which featured his own bullet holes – another thing he was glad nobody had spotted.
Moving along towards the west end of the gym, he spied something else – what he had thought at first glance was simply more ammunition piles was actually a crate of small, fanny-pack like packages. Jeremy picked one up curiously, noting the remote duct-taped to the side. Then, a devious grin came to him. He recognized these. Carefully stuffing a few into the backpack the man had been carrying, he once again traversed the gym, this time heading in the opposite direction. Once again, nobody even gave him a second glance, except for a few students he passed close to – they looked at him in fear, and it was all Jeremy could do not to give them some signal that he was friendly.
Before he stepped back into the gym, he took a moment to stack all the explosive packs from earlier on top of each other, right next to the door. With that, he opened the door and made a show of checking around the corridor, pretending that there might be someone else. He was tempted to fire off a few rounds for effect, but that might startle the others prematurely. Ah well. With that, he stationed himself just behind the vast majority of the terrorists in the gym, but then had a better idea. Quickly, he hurried to the back and dropped his M16 in favor of the chain gun he’d seen earlier. Hoooly fuck, this thing was heavy – he could barely lift it! Shit, this was gonna be hard – but at least he wouldn’t have to worry about the other guys’ bulletproof vests – this thing was a .50-cal, after all. Fuck yes.
Finally, he was ready to begin. He ducked behind the bleachers, just out of sight of the others, and rifled through his backpack for the remote detonators. They seemed pretty simple – even had the big red button and everything. How could he turn them on? Oh, there was a switch on the side. The screens lit up green as soon as he flipped it, and he laid them on the floor carefully until all five remotes were on. Jeremy grinned maniacally as he readied the chain gun by his side, and with only a moment of hesitation, quickly pressed all five buttons. There was a resounding explosion at the other end of the gym, and without waiting for their reactions, Jeremy sprang out from behind the bleachers. “SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” he screamed, the chain gun quickly drowning out all other sounds. He didn’t know how much ammo this thing had, and it was getting hard to hold – fortunately, his insane plan was working. Blood quickly spattered the walls as the terrorists, who had all turned around at the explosions, fled in panic and surprise from his sudden onslaught. The students were screaming in shock and horror, and Jeremy ignored this as he continued firing. Those who had machine guns were firing back in the moments before they were ripped to pieces by the massive lead slugs, and Jeremy felt impacts in his lower sternum that felt like hammer blows – wasn’t he supposed to be too high to feel that?!
Finally, the last one went down, and Jeremy dropped the massive chain gun in a huff, walking over and picking up his M16. Kids everywhere were staring at him in open shock, and he gave them a tired acknowledgement before taking a seat in the middle of the gym. Something shifted painfully in his abdominals, and he removed the shredded Kevlar vest in consternation. The sight he revealed made bile rise to the front of his throat – his chest was a mass of bruises, and was bleeding freely in several places. His legs had fared only a little better – genius that he was, he’d completely forgotten to move around when he was killing people – he’d probably been an easy target. Then again, he was alive. And they weren’t. And that was really all that mattered.
Jeremy managed to gather enough strength to go out and retrieve his backpack, which he had hidden in the empty auxiliary gym along with his clothes. Pulling out the morphine ampoules and medkits, he found a pair of tweezers and began poking around for bullets, noting with satisfaction that he could only barely feel the tweezers as they poked and prodded. Once he was sure most of the bullets had been extricated, he gave himself another shot of morphine to the leg and closed up the rest of the kits, dumping them back into the backpack and laying down numbly on the floor. Some students approached – not any that he recognized – and he gave them a tired smile.
“I cannot fucking believe what you just did!” one exclaimed, and Jeremy gave a shaky laugh.
“To be honest, neither can I,” he replied, and moved over to lean against a bleacher, assisted by the group of students. “Thanks,” he muttered.
He wasn’t planning to rest long – just long enough for the morphine to take full effect…
Chapter 0.3
9-3-13, 10:04 P.M.
After a few more minutes of resting, Jeremy pushed his way to his feet, shrugging off the concerns of the other students.
“I’ll be fine,” he muttered. He turned to the rest of the students, who had by now surged forward to get a look at him. “Okay. There’s still food in the food court, but I want to see if you guys can get the hell out of here first. Anyone know if escape is even possible?”
A tan student came forward, and promptly answered “No.” Jeremy looked at him, perplexed, and the kid continued. “I caught some of their conversations – they’re a bit similar to my first language – and they said they’ve blocked off every exit with barricades and snipers. Not gonna happen.”
Jeremy slapped a palm to his forehead. “Son of a dick. What now?” he uttered, staring at the hundreds of teenagers in front of him and hoping that one would come up with a solution. Just then, there was a commotion at the front door, and Jeremy whipped his assault rifle around, only to find with some surprise that his English teacher from earlier had led the group of students across the building to the gym.
“Damn, you got all the way here? Nice,” Jeremy complimented.
His teacher grinned. “Used to head out to the range once or twice a month – came in handy, eh?” Jeremy chuckled.
9-5-13, 2:04 P.M.
The next two days passed rather quickly, consisting of Jeremy running around with food and supplies as he gunned down more and more terrorists. Where did they all keep coming from? was a constant question in his mind. He began to lose track of how many he’d killed – not that he’d been scrupulously counting in the first place. Judging from what they could see out of the windows, the terrorists were now just as trapped in the school as they were, due to the combined efforts of the police and the military, which served as a convenient distraction for Jeremy – the military were desperately trying to get in, and the terrorists were just as desperately stopping them. Unfortunately, this had resulted in a stalemate so far – but maybe today would be different.
At this particular moment, he was traipsing along a corridor for the umpteenth time, looking for any additional supply caches – as it turned out, a few classrooms on each floor had been dedicated to emergency supply stashes by the opposing force, and while Jeremy felt he had found most of them, it was worth checking. As he moved along the corridor, it occurred to him that he hadn’t checked in on the gym in a while – he had left the students and teachers there with the full stash of ammunition and weapons, and they guarded the doors from the inside almost as zealously as he did on the outside. In addition, he had relocated every staff member and student he could find there, including the office staff and medic he had met earlier. In fact, according to the attendance staff, only a very few students and teachers were missing – and a significant portion of these had never shown up at all. Jeremy fervently hoped no kids had been killed yet – though evidence was mounting to support this being the case, there were always a few missing kids that hadn’t yet been accounted for. A few kids who were accounted for wanted to follow him out the doors and help, but Jeremy had stubbornly and viciously refused all offers – while he wasn’t going to stop until he killed every terrorist he could, he also wasn’t about to see someone else get killed due to his stupidity. He could manage that just fine on his own, thank you.
Exiting the gym doors a moment later, Jeremy was satisfied to see everything going well. At this rate, they actually stood a fair chance of surviving until the end of this nightmare – something he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around.
However, he was beginning to be concerned with the complete lack of opponents in his area – he hadn’t seen a one, despite the military still not having broken through quite yet. Where’d they all go? Were there many more? Jeremy often wondered. If there were, he felt sorry for them: He’d effectively stolen the vast majority of their weaponry via his gym takeover two days ago, and he’d since stationed teachers at every exit to that room, all heavily armed and now stocked with enough food to guard non-stop for days. All in all, Jeremy was simultaneously rather proud and extremely embarrassed by the fact that he’d somehow become the ‘leader’ of this whole operation – everyone was listening to him, even the teachers and admin staff. He’d become something of a hero to them, an idea that often left Jeremy’s face a burning red every time he thought about it. Did other heroes have this realization? He pondered curiously. The vague feeling of ‘Surprise! You’re the protagonist. Have fun, kid.’ It was such a weird thought to have, and Jeremy stifled a slightly manic giggle. Of course, there weren’t any other heroes to ask – the closest one he could think of was Alfred York, of which he’d only heard in an anecdote once. There was also that badass female sniper from World War II, but Jeremy didn’t think she was currently alive.
Finding nothing in his latest sweep of the area, he sighed and returned to the gym.
“Nothing,” he complained to the waiting students, slinging his M16 over his shoulder via the strap.
“You sure? We heard noises from somewhere,” a tall, sickly white kid pointed out. Jeremy grinned – this was one of his friends, Sam.
Sam shared a lot of the interests Jeremy did: Video games, anime, video games, music, video games… They played a lot of games together at lunch break, and it was Sam who had recently suggested Jeremy enter the My Little Pony fandom, pestering him about it all last year. Jeremy had been his usual, extremely stubborn self at first, refusing to have anything to do with the show until out of exasperation he tried it over the summer. To his surprise, the first episode was good. Really good. From there, the addiction had started, and had not ceased until he had watched all the way through Season 3, bringing him up to speed with Sam’s current knowledge. Speaking of which, Sam was talking to him.
“It sounded like they came from the building with the welding shop,” Sam noted thoughtfully, and Jeremy nodded.
“Not exactly thrilled to go outside, but… Better check it out, huh?” he mused.
Sam laughed. “Gonna save some damsels?” he teased, and Jeremy lightly bumped him in the shoulder.
“Bro, you know I am all-about being the Knight in Shining Armor,” Jeremy replied sarcastically. Some of the surrounding students chuckled.
Jeremy walked over to the ammo stashes, Sam tagging along uncertainly. “Hey… I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” Sam began, unusually serious.
Jeremy looked at him, grin slowly sliding off his face. “Yeah? What is it?” he asked.
Sam huffed a sigh, slightly alarming Jeremy. “It’s just… let’s be real, here. We’re best fuckin friends, right?” he asked.
Jeremy immediately nodded. “Yeah dude, we’re in this shit together…” Jeremy trailed off, unsure of where Sam was going.
Sam rose both hands up to his forehead, gripping his curly brown mini-afro in distress. “I just don’t want to lose you! I don’t want to be waiting here, and find out you’re never coming back, and…” Jeremy swept him up with a one-armed hug, the other arm loosely gripping a magazine of ammo.
“Dude. Don’t… don’t say that. I am not dying on you, you hear me? I will come back from the dead just to fuck with you if that’s what it takes,” Jeremy asserted.
And in that moment, he knew it was true. That despite his fear, his denial of the living hell he was in, something in him flat-out refused to die, while another something in him denied just as flatly the possibility of surrender. That really only left one option, then. He held Sam close as the latter sobbed into his chest, and it was a mark of the strength of their friendship that he wasn’t weirded out in the slightest by the emotional contact. Sam was his best friend, after all. They’d met in middle school, in drama class to be specific – Jeremy had been transitioning from his former hotheaded temper to his current quiet one, and drama had helped in encouraging a more positive development in his attitude. Sam, too, had been immensely helpful, and Jeremy felt as though he owed his current morals to the guy – through years of knowing Sam, and playing video games with Sam, and just constantly chatting with Sam every second they were together to the point where everyone else very publicly suspected they were gay for each other, Jeremy had formed a stronger bond with Sam than anyone else in his life. Even his parents didn’t nearly see him this openly, unreservedly himself , no, it was Sam and Sam alone who obtained that privilege. Other friends, depending on how long they had stuck around had seen most of his unrestrained personality – but Sam was the only one he met daily, in person, and thus Sam had seen the most.
In addition, there was just something about Sam. He had many friends, though none that Jeremy knew of were quite as platonically close as they two, and random strangers would often stop by to hug or fistbump him. It wasn’t that Sam was particularly charming, or noticeable, or even unique – there was just something about him that just screamed “goodness” to all who dared cast their gaze upon him. Jeremy was by no means resistant to this effect: If asked, he would swear on anything and everything that he would protect Sam with his life if necessary. Though, he had never been asked, so Jeremy’s feelings on the matter remained hidden behind the frequent, trolling-esque contact he shared with Sam every day. Their bond was reinforced by years of YouTube quotes, insulting each other, and generally being rude but simultaneously friendly whenever they met. And this friendship was unbreakable: Never in their years of knowing each other had they ever had a serious argument.
After a minute more of this, Jeremy gently broke off contact, Sam stepping back awkwardly.
“Yeah…” he muttered, seemingly unsure of what else to say.
Jeremy held up a fist, and Sam bumped it, a small smile coming to his face. “Hey, if anyone else comes by?” Jeremy asked.
It was an old question between them over the past few days, and Sam was happy to complete the slapstick quote of a response they’d come up with. “Git that motherfucker!” Sam replied dramatically, before chuckling.
With that, Jeremy put on a fresh Kevlar vest and made his way out of the gymnasium, grabbing a few syringes of alternative painkillers – he wasn’t sure how much morphine he had left, and the school nurse was remarkably resistant to letting him just take all of it. Jeremy suspected she thought he was getting addicted, and also suspected that she might be right.
He stepped outside, feeling oddly as though he were leaving the main school building permanently. It was drizzling outside, and Jeremy grimaced as he threw the green hood of his overcoat over his head to keep out the rain. Bad enough he could barely look up without getting his glasses wet, now he had to deal with being a walking, green target… He cautiously began to pick his way along the concrete path to the other, smaller building of the high school, feeling as though he were about to be ambushed. His suspicions proved correct when a patch of concrete exploded right next to him, and Jeremy stifled a scream as he ducked down behind the safety of the six-foot-tall concrete wall to his left.
“Oh fuck, a sniper, no wonder nobody’s been outside,” he breathed, already feeling that familiar twinge of panic.
Trying to control his breathing, he quickly strafed along that same concrete wall so as to avoid getting shot, all the while trying to plan out a path to avoid the sniper’s aim. The bullet looked like it came from a window facing me, so if I sneak around the back really fast, and make a zigzag motion, maybe I won’t get shot? But I’d have to be making zigzag motions orthogonal to the sniper’s position, meaning that if I were far enough to their right I’d have to walk backwards and forwards to properly do that…
“Aw, fuck it,” Jeremy grumbled, and charged up the steps, hoping his Kevlar vest would protect him.
As he sprinted around the corner, he was surprised to find not a single bullet had even been fired at him – had the sniper left ? Maybe he had just gotten really lucky. Jeremy pulled out his M16, checking the ammo mags strapped to his vest – satisfied that he was fully stocked, he opened the nearest door, into the Ceramics Lab.
The lab itself was deserted, except for a single terrorist at the end of the hall. Jeremy pointed his rifle at the guy, but to his surprise the man immediately turned tail and ran, screaming into a walkie-talkie as he went. Jeremy couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, and thus shrugged and followed him.
The Metalworking, Ceramics, and Business classrooms were all connected via one hallway, and formed the bulk of the building Jeremy was currently wandering through. Eerily, not a single person greeted him, the steps of the terrorist having long since faded into the distance.
“What the hell, what the hell, what the hell…” Jeremy muttered under his breath.
He peeked around a corner, once again finding nothing, only to hear some very loud gunfire a few halls over. But who the hell would the terrorists be firing at but… Kids, Jeremy thought with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Forgoing subtlety, he sprinted over to the Metalworking lab.
What he saw when he entered was nothing short of gruesome: Corpses were slumped all over the place, some with metal bars and rods stabbed straight through their torsos.
“What…the… fuck?” Jeremy muttered, looking around and fighting the urge to throw up – at least when he killed, he’d been clean about the whole process. Good, wholesome, family-friendly murder. He tentatively stepped around the corner, coming into full view of the lab…
Only to be shot in the chest.
Jeremy doubled over in agony, screaming endlessly – he’d forgot to use the morphine, oh GOD it hurt , and he was only vaguely aware of a feminine voice saying “Oh my God! Oh God, I’m so sorry, I thought you were…” the voice trailed off, and Jeremy looked up, wanting to get a look at the person who had ended his life by accident.
He stared for a moment. “…Jackie ?” he asked, and coughed.
“…Jeremy ?” Jackie replied, uncertainly. “Why are you… dressed up like one of them? Are you a spy?” she accused, and Jeremy fought back a laugh, instead turning it into a racking cough.
“No… stole their stuff… gimme a sec,” he replied, slumping to the floor as he reached into his backpack and pulled out a syringe. Grimacing, he jabbed it into the nearest visible vein, sighing with relief as the drug did its work. “Jesus, Jackie, how’d you get here?” Jeremy asked a minute later, bandaging himself up with the air of someone who was only going through a set of routine motions. Jackie didn't answer, watching him work with a disgusted, but morbidly curious frown on her face.
Jackie was one of his other friends, not quite on the same high pedestal as Sam but still pretty good – in fact, she’d been his bestie up until they forgot to talk to each other for a year and Sam jacked the title. Jeremy had been wondering what happened to her, but it was hard to remember they were friends sometimes: She was kept so busy with her own schedule that they rarely spoke anymore. Now he felt guilty for forgetting about her so easily. Jackie watched him work, wincing at the sight of the blood – the sniper round had easily penetrated the vest Jeremy had been wearing, and he had had to pick out the bullet, Jackie apologizing endlessly until Jeremy held up a finger.
“It’s okay, I don’t hurt that badly anymore. Besides, I’ve been shot a few times this week.”
Jackie looked at him as though he’d just claimed unicorns were real. “So, wait – are you the guy I’ve been hearing about?” Jackie asked.
Jeremy sighed. “…Probably, yeah.”
Chapter 0.4
9-5-13, 4:20 P.M.
“So, why are a bunch of… them here?” Jeremy asked Jackie as they walked back through to the Ceramics Lab, Jackie taking out a key and locking the door behind them as she balanced her sniper rifle like a cane.
Jackie shrugged. “I think they were planning to send some kind of message to you. No idea what, though, cuz’ they’re all dead.”
Jeremy nodded, chuckling slightly – he immediately stopped as he realized he was taking amusement from cold-blooded murder. “I guess that might make sense – first guy I saw up here ran from me while warning the others.”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “And ran right into me. Idiot probably forgot I was here…”
Her stomach growled, and Jeremy looked at her curiously. “When’s the last time you ate?” he asked.
“A few hours ago – I found a stash of snacks in some kid’s backpack, and I’ve been rationing. Was gonna make a break for it to your hidey-hole once I ran out, but I didn’t know what was out there.”
Jeremy snorted. “All of nothing , looks like. Matter of fact, I think we cleared most of them out.”
Jackie looked at him in surprise. “Dude, there must have been hundreds of these guys, judging from what I saw on the first day. We were in the school-opening assembly, and suddenly they just swarmed in and start taking hostages – I slipped away midway through, and found this rifle.” Jeremy half-interestedly absorbed this information. “What about you, when did you flip the badass switch?” Jackie joked.
Jeremy cracked a smile. “Soon as I got here, really – dude tried to hit me with a steel pipe, I stole it and hit him back, killed him, and things just sort of… spiraled from there.”
Jackie snickered. “What, no crowbar?” she asked, and Jeremy put a hand to his forehead in embarrassed laughter.
“I’ve been looking, without much luck!” he retorted, and the two of them laughed together just like old times.
Just then, they heard a scuff of a boot, and fell silent. Jeremy slowly held up his rifle at where he assumed the noise had been coming from.
“Come out of there, hands where I can see them,” he ordered.
A black-clad, middle-aged man slowly complied, hands holding what appeared to be some form of laptop. Making sure Jeremy could see his movements, the man put it on the nearest table, then shakily moved back to the far wall, hands in the air in surrender. Jeremy jerked his head at the man as a signal to Jackie, who aimed her sniper rifle at his head while Jeremy examined the laptop. Opening it, he found a single file in the center of the desktop screen, named “PLAYTHIS.wmv”. Raising an eyebrow, Jeremy opened it.
He was met with a dark room, where he could just barely discern movements in front of the camera. “Ah, hello. We are the-“ – here the man said a word Jeremy couldn’t understand – “and we have sent this video to give you one last chance, Jeremy. We know who you are, and where you live. If you do not surrender within one hour of watching this, we will track your family down and kill them. It will be your fault. You have one hour.”
Jeremy closed the video once it had finished playing, and calmly closed the laptop.
“…Jeremy?” Jackie asked, sounding worried.
“Kill him,” Jeremy tonelessly replied, and Jackie swallowed once before nodding.
She pressed the trigger on her rifle – but not before the man, realizing what was happening, thumbed the button on his walkie-talkie. A loud burst of static echoed around the room, followed quickly by an ear-splittingly loud gunshot as the man’s head burst open like an overheated watermelon. For a moment, all was silent. Then, Jackie turned back to Jeremy, her eyes matching her worried frown.
“Are you… okay?” she asked. Jeremy sighed, and looked away, eyes downcast.
“They’ve… they’re kidding. Right? There’s no way they can get past the military, that’s why they’re in here in the first place. …Right?” he asked, looking to her for reassurance.
Jackie, for her part, was quick to catch on. “Of course not. If two high schoolers with barely any weaponry can hold them off, what makes you think they’ll get past the military?” she reassured, and Jeremy slowly smiled.
“Yeah… you’re right, it’s all bullshit,” he decided, feeling as though he had convinced himself.
The trek back to the high school’s main building was silent and uneventful – Jackie had explained that she was in fact the sniper who’d shot at him earlier, and upon realizing her mistake had promptly avoided aiming at him while he skirted around the outside. Jeremy, meanwhile, filled her in on the state of affairs of the main building, including the gymnasium where everyone else was and how many he’d killed. Jackie’s eyes went wide as he described the amount of corpses that were currently strewn around the high school’s halls, and went still wider as he detailed the amount of food he’d managed to stockpile for the rest over the course of the past three days. As they neared the gym, Jeremy became aware of the stench surrounding the dead bodies: He’d been around them so frequently, he’d built up a tolerance to it. He himself probably didn’t smell any better, he surmised, due to not taking a shower in days and barely even sleeping, not to mention all the physical activity that running around and shooting people involved.
He walked over to Sam, and shot him a devilish grin. “Wait, he isn’t dead – Shia Surprise!” Jeremy greeted, and Sam burst out laughing at the oddball quote.
“I’d continue that, but… no, fuck you,” he replied, and Jeremy barely suppressed chuckles.
“So, how were things on your end?” Jeremy asked, and Sam waved a hand in a so-so motion.
“Well, some of the Black Brigade stopped by while you were out, and we pushed them back with bullets,” he mentioned.
Jeremy nodded unenthusiastically. “Right… should’ve figured they’d wait until I was gone.”
Sam looked at him curiously. “What about you? I see you found Jackie – and where’d she get that rifle?”
Jeremy gave a brief explanation of the past few hours, and Sam’s eyebrows raised to the point Jeremy feared they’d spring off his forehead and fly skyward, never to be seen again. “Dude, they’re threatening to kill your parents? That’s… fuckin harsh, man.”
Jeremy shrugged. “It is also quite clearly bullshit – if they could’ve gotten past the military blockade, they would’ve by now.”
Sam gave him a frown, but a moment later simply shrugged. “If you say so…”
Jeremy decided to take the rest of the night off, now that Jackie was with them. The other kids crowded around to hear Jackie’s tales of her, a sniper rifle, and nothing but time, and she gave a nervous grin over at Jeremy as they continued to press around her, demanding more. Jeremy, who’d been on the other end of this exchange multiple times by now, simply gave her a “what-can-you-do” shrug and a guilty smile.
“C’mon, guys, leave her alone,” he called out after a while of watching this, and the students reluctantly slunk away to their assigned positions.
The gym had also been converted to a living space of sorts, the hard foam mats that had covered the yoga room being repurposed as mass beds and the gym itself sectioned off into areas. Around the outer perimeter was the loosely designated “guard” area: Here teachers patrolled, guns and ammo at the ready and stocked all around the outside walls instead of in a big pile at the back. Inside this, the gym was split into three rough areas, with ‘sleeping’ and ‘food’ taking up one half and ‘socializing’ taking the rest. Jeremy felt bad that they didn’t have blankets for the sleeping students, but there was no way to get any – the few that had been saved from the nurse’s office were still covered in blood, and currently being used to treat the injured – while nobody had died, plenty had gotten hit or bruised by a terrorist operative in their attempts to plead for mercy. All in all, it was a pretty decently organized system, though Jeremy couldn’t take the credit for devising it – that went to the admin staff. They were surprisingly effective at keeping things calm and orderly in this trying time, and Jeremy was actually beginning to feel some respect for them.
Jackie walked over, muttering a “thanks” as she surveyed the area. “So, was all this your idea?” she asked, gesturing in a wide arc to the layout of the gymnasium.
Jeremy snorted. “Nah, teachers came up with this little system. Personally, I think it’s a good idea – we’ve got everything we need here, after all. Food, water, medicine, a relatively comfortable space to sleep… We could hold out for a few more weeks, easy.”
Just then, there was a commotion among some of the students – a fight had broken out. Two teachers rushed over and pulled them apart, and Jeremy watched with a detached interest – he’d figured eventually people would start getting cabin fever, and it worried him somewhat.
Jeremy’s sleeping spot, which he rarely used, was right next to Sam’s, and Jackie took another spot right next to his – Jeremy moved his backpack, coat and shoes out of the way as she laid her backpack down, kicked off her own sneakers and sat on the floor with a thump.
“Oh, damn, it feels good to be in the safe zone,” Jackie sighed, leaning back, and Jeremy chuckled.
“Yeah…” He trailed off. He’d been about to quip that he was the only one who could ever leave the safe zone, but then the implications of that hit him. He tuned back in to the conversation to find Jackie staring at him.
“You alright?” she asked. Jeremy thought about it for a moment, then buried his face in his hands.
“I just… I can’t do it, Jackie, I can’t fucking do this ,” he mumbled, taking shuddering breaths and trying to control the rampant thoughts of his mortality. “Every goddamn day I’m running and shooting people, and rounding up food, and all these kids look up to me as some sort of leader or hero – it’s not what they think, it’s not fun or cool or any of that shit! And eventually someone’s gonna get me in the neck, and then I’ll be dead , and then someone else’ll have to do this and they’ll die too, and…” he was cut short by Jackie placing a hand over his mouth – she never had been known for subtlety.
“Dude. You’re gonna make it. You know why?” she asked, looking him dead in the eye.
“…W-Why?” Jeremy asked.
“Because you are the most goddamn headstrong, stubborn idiot I’ve ever met. You won’t take anyone’s shit – not even Death’s. So when you’re at death’s door, bleeding out from some gun wound? You get right the fuck back up and kick some ass ,” Jackie finished.
Jeremy smirked, laughing a little as his sobs subsided. “Heh… ha… yeah… thanks,” he got out. Sam had been watching the whole thing with a worried look on his face, but upon seeing Jeremy calm down somewhat he relaxed as well.
Jackie took out a sewing kit from her backpack, and Jeremy and Sam watched curiously.
“…What’re you doing?” Jeremy asked nervously as she examined a needle. He didn’t like needles of any variety, though the life-or-death motif of the last few days had managed to put this phobia on a temporary backburner.
“Just had a thought – you mentioned worrying about getting shot in the neck, and we do have a lot of those Kevlar vests…” Jackie muttered.
Jeremy and Sam, seeing where she was going, grinned and got up, hefting stacks of the Kevlar vests over to her spot as she began cutting them apart. A teacher surveyed this curiously, wearing a Kevlar vest of her own.
“What are you doing?” she asked, and Jackie looked up.
“Well, since Jeremy’s the one who risks his neck every day, I thought I should make his neck a little harder to risk,” she quipped, and the teacher looked at her suspiciously. Then, to everyone’s surprise, she took a seat next to them.
“I do some sewing and clothing myself – mind if I help?” the teacher asked. Jackie, Jeremy and Sam bemusedly shook their heads, and for the next few hours Jackie and the teacher sewed Jeremy’s new outfit together while Jeremy watched Sam play on his DS – it was almost like old times.
Just then, there was the static burst from the speakers stationed around the gym that indicated someone was making an announcement from the admin area. Everyone fell silent to hear the news.
“Your parents are dead, Jeremy. You are next,” a stunted and heavily accented voice proclaimed, and the speaker beeped once more, signaling the end of the transmission.
Jeremy’s heart felt like it had stopped beating, and was now immersed in liquid nitrogen. He’d refused to save them, and in his arrogance his parents had paid the ultimate price. Unless… unless they were lying?
“No… no, you’re lying – YOU’RE LYING!” he yelled up at the speaker, uncaring of the fact that the announcer couldn’t hear him.
He gave a frustrated scream of rage, slamming a fist down on the mat before collapsing in a heap, sobbing uncontrollably. Time seemed to disappear as he laid there, facedown with his eyes covered by his arms, and he felt a soothing hand on his shoulder as he lost track of reality.
9-5-13, 8:42 P.M.
When Jeremy finally poked his head up again, they were serving ‘dinner’ – this consisted of snacks, vegetables, and whatever else the cafeteria staff could serve that didn’t need to be heated. Many students complained about the lack of burgers, pizza and other hot foods, but Jeremy reminded them that he was physically incapable of lugging any of the massive grilling machines up one floor to the gym, and after that they reluctantly accepted their meals. On the plus side, no one had to pay for everything, though they did get rather small portions so the food could last longer. He slowly got up, walking over to the food line with a red face and a still-distraught complexion. He took his place in the back of the line, refusing any attempts to move him forward, and politely waited, expression like a zombie’s as he sluggishly grabbed his food and went back to his spot.
Sam and Jackie, who had already ate, were waiting for him with somber expressions.
“Dude, I am so, so sorry-“ Sam began, but Jeremy interrupted him before he could finish.
“I don’t want to hear it,” Jeremy snapped, and Sam was taken aback.
Jeremy’s expression softened a moment later, and he looked towards the floor – he’d just lost his parents, he didn’t want to lose his friends too. “Sorry…” he muttered, and Sam wisely decided to remain silent.
Jackie, however, cleared her throat nervously. “So, uh… we finished your new suit a while back… it’s got pads on just about everywhere, and we really bulked it up – you should be able to withstand everything short of a 12-gauge with this,” she announced.
Jeremy gave a small smile. “Thanks, Jackie…” he looked over at the suit she and the teacher had made, appraising it as he tried to distract himself from thoughts of his parents. It looked like at least six of the other vests had gone into the chest and back padding, with various thick layers of black fabric comprising the rest – even the neck and head was covered by a makeshift ‘hood’, padded with yet more thick Kevlar. To Jeremy’s confusion, the head area was blocked off by a thin layer of black, see-through fabric.
“What’s with this?” he asked, holding it up.
“Oh, that,” Jackie remembered. “Well, it occurred to us that this suit is all black, and you’re… well, no offense, but you’re really pale.”
Jeremy chuckled. “None taken,” he replied.
Jackie nodded before continuing. “So, we figured that if you went out there, that’d make your pale head an easy target due to color contrast. This fixes that problem while still allowing you to see.”
Jeremy nodded interestedly – that was good strategy. “Good to know someone’s looking out for me – this is genius,” he complimented.
Jackie smiled, going back to a book she had been carrying in her backpack – Jeremy wished he had brought a book. Finding nothing else to do or talk about, he returned to his meal, thankful for once of the lack of temperature – the miniature deli sandwich was just as good now as it had been ten minutes ago. Normally he only ate hot foods, preferring pizza and the chickenburgers – he’d tried the actual cheeseburgers here, and had quickly sworn never to do so again. Finishing the sub, he sighed and lay back on the mat, pulling over his jacket for use as a makeshift blanket and wishing he could just forget about existing for a while.
Chapter 0.5
9-6-13, 7:07 A.M.
Jeremy finally sat up, deciding to start his day as he shook himself from his semi-conscious stupor. From the looks of things, most of the other kids were still asleep, and he quietly stepped around them as he walked over to the teachers who had been taking the night shift.
“How’s it going?” he quietly asked.
They gave him weary smiles, and he gave them an equally tired thumbs-up before grabbing some breakfast. He didn’t really feel all that hungry just yet, so he grabbed a prepackaged PB&J sandwich and a single, large carrot. Jeremy reflected on the odd thing that was his diet as he munched on the carrot, trying and failing to eat quietly and hating himself for it. The events of yesterday felt like a dream, as though he’d imagined them – then again, this whole week had that same surreal quality to it. He was fighting a bunch of Middle-Eastern terrorists, who’d arrived here to do who-knows-what because who-knows-why, and so far he was winning. Somehow.
He finished his sandwich and walked over to his newly made Kevlar suit, slipping it on. It was a little uncomfortably tight in some places, but all in all Jeremy thought Jackie and the teacher had done an excellent job – the only problem was that he was back to being loud as hell when he moved around, the fabric shuffling and rubbing against itself. The ‘feet’ areas weren’t too helpful either, being made of the same material – while they didn’t produce the annoying squeak of regular shoes against the tiled floors, they still made a rather noticeable dry, shuffling sound.
Finally, he walked over to one of the several weapons caches, and grabbed a M16 rifle and some ammo for it. Stashing the ammo in as many pockets as he could find, Jeremy sauntered past the night crew and entered the rest of the school building, wanting to get a head-start on the mass murder that was his new routine.
9-6-13, 12:02 P.M.
Jeremy knocked on the doors once, using his own ‘special knock’ and calling out “Hey, it’s me!” The doors quickly opened, and Jeremy slipped through, tracking viscous red bloodstains onto the gym floor.
“How many?” a day guard called out, and Jeremy thought for a while.
“…Three,” he finally responded, and the day guard looked at him suspiciously.
“All that blood from just three people?” he asked.
“One of them got too close” was Jeremy’s only response, and he struggled his way out of his suit, dumping it in a bloody pile at the door entrance. He traipsed over to Jackie and Sam, who were among Sam’s several other friends having a quiet conversation. This stopped momentarily when Jeremy walked over, and he gave Jackie a grin as he took a seat nearby.
“That suit of yours is a lifesaver, really. Something like sixteen bullets, completely stopped – I didn’t even have to give myself a shot this time.” Jackie smiled appreciatively, but frowned at the last comment.
“Doesn’t it hurt, though?” she asked.
Jeremy waved his hand in a so-so motion. “Bruises, yeah, but still a damn sight better than how I was on the first few days.” Jackie winced – she’d heard the stories from the nurse. Just about everyone had.
As Jeremy took a moment to relax, he watched idly as a student walked out of the gym with a teacher, heading downstairs to use the bathrooms. In order to leave the gym, the admin staff had decided that any student must have a heavily armed escort in order to prevent surprise attacks. This had led to some complaining among the remaining teachers, due to the sheer volume of students needing to go every day, but it had slowly become routine, and all the doors in the gym area were closed and locked anyway.
Some time later, a student walked over to him. This happened to Jeremy occasionally, now that he was in the “hero” business: Students would come up and ask him stuff. Jeremy took this in stride – answering questions was actually the least stressful part of his day. To his concern, though, this student didn’t look curious.
“Hey, so, um, some of us in the Radio Club overheard part of a message from the hostiles, and we thought you might want to listen.”
Now curious himself, Jeremy got up and followed him over to where the rest of the Radio Club were apparently waiting. He sat down next to them, and motioned for them to continue. One held up his phone, and tapped a button – a recording of a Middle Eastern accent began playing.
“We then ran that through some translating apps, with the help of some of the transfer students, and came up with this,” one of the students said, and held up a crudely written note with several words crossed out, rewritten, and crossed out again.
“Army to me – meet? In room 309 at 2, send…” Jeremy trailed off – all the words at the end of the sentence were crossed off.
“We think that’s a few names, or something,” the student clarified. Jeremy checked his phone – it was 2:12.
“Well, shit, I want to be in on this. Thanks for the heads-up!” he yelled over his shoulder as he rushed back to the door to put his suit on. He had no idea how a few kids hacked what was presumably a high-security radio, but he wasn’t about to question it.
Before he could rush off, however, Sam approached him. “Hey. Just an idea? Take a grenade or two, trap the door.”
Jeremy looked at him shrewdly. “You, sir, have been playing far too much Demoman,” he joked in response, obediently grabbing a cylindrical grenade from their pile nearby the door. Having never used one of these, he looked it over. There was the pin, and if he remembered right, he just had to pull it and throw it. With that, M16 in hand, he ran off to room 309.
Normally, Jeremy didn’t visit the 3rd floor all that much. Nobody liked to hang out there, even back when the school wasn’t a turf warzone – it was just too tedious, and all that was up there was the Math department anyway. The meeting had already started, so he didn’t expect to see much in the way of terrorist activity – though he still kept an eye out. Room 309 itself was a business conference room, with windows for walls – although it appeared the shades were drawn, so Jeremy wouldn’t have to worry about being seen so easily. Approaching room 309 from the left, he was surprised to see that the door was open, blocking him from being seen if he crouched. Grinning, Jeremy bent down into a squatting position and slowly began making his way forward.
As he neared the door, he heard voices – this time, American accents. “What we’re offering is this: We go get the kid, bring him up here, and give him to you, and in exchange you get the fuck out of here scot-free. Nobody else has to die, it’s all quite clean.”
There was a moment of silence, and Jeremy processed this. What kid could they be talking about? Maybe one of the students here was the son of some governor - that might explain their school being targeted.
“What makes you think he trust you?” a gruff, accented voice demanded.
“We’re the military, we can claim just about any bullshit we want. Besides, even if he figures it out, he’s one of those hero types. He’ll probably do it anyway.”
Jeremy paled – they were talking about him . The military had finally arrived, only apparently not to save the kids – at least, not in the conventional manner.
“What if we do not accept?” the gruff voice replied sternly, and the American laughed.
“Then we bomb the school, of course. You think you don’t have missiles pointed at you as we speak? The only thing stopping this place from being exploded is the fact that there’s living kids in there, and… we can always just claim we found them like that.”
Jeremy’s eyes widened. What the fuck? This guy was pure evil, from the sounds of things. He had thought the military was on their side! Instead, it seemed like the army just wanted to coverup the whole debacle while making themselves look good. Jeremy had already held a profound disrespect for the military before this whole trainwreck of a week, but now he was seething with rage. He made to get up, to get in there and start busting heads, but stopped. And grinned. He had a better idea.
He would do this quietly, Jeremy decided. No shouts, no screams of rage or announcing his presence, just the quiet roll of a grenade into the room. He unhooked it from his pouch, the plastic making a loud ‘click’, and had his hand on the pin just as one of the Americans asked “Did you hear something?” Jeremy paled, and hurriedly pulled the pin and rolled the grenade inside, slamming the door shut and running for his life down the end of the corridor. There was a muffled cry of “SHIT!”, an ear-destroying explosion, ringing… and then nothing.
Jeremy trained his rifle on the door, just waiting for some asshole to pop out so he could gun them down. Five minutes passed, and he cautiously crept forward, keeping his gun on the door the whole time. He waited outside the door for another solid minute, not daring to go in and pressing an ear to the wood expectantly. Not a sound came, apart from something falling over – this made Jeremy jump, but he didn’t say anything. He’d probably already attracted enough attention as it was – any minute now, others would be rushing up to discern the cause of the explosion, guns in hand, and he didn’t want to be there when they showed up. Jeremy swallowed once, steeling himself, and entered the room.
What he saw next, only years of gory video games could have prepared him for. There weren’t even recognizable corpses anymore, just strewn body parts. The table they’d been conversing around was broken in half, and judging from the fracture marks Jeremy presumed the grenade had rolled right under it. Several of the soldiers were groaning with pain, so Jeremy casually put them out of their misery with a few shots to the head, putting much more venom into his expression than was really necessary – even if they had bargained his sacrifice. As he finished, an insignia on their uniforms caught his eye. “Squad 15” was emblazoned on the front, with each of their names below it.
The only things in the room that had survived the explosions relatively unscathed were the weapons: They were behind each corpse, probably having been strapped to the adults’ backs. Jeremy gingerly stepped around a pool of blood and ravaged intestines, and picked up the only different weapon he saw in the room. Unlike the thinner, slightly rounder shape of an assault rifle, this one was heavy, and blocky, with a pump on the end and a space for bullets on the underside of the pump handle. This was an auto-shotgun, Jeremy realized with a sense of delighted surprise. It had been under the corpse of a soldier, judging by the helmet, so Jeremy assumed the terrorists didn’t have any shotguns of their own. Why was that?
He picked up the shotgun, surprised at how lightweight it was for its bulk – it was about as heavy as the M16, despite the thicker metal profile. Unfortunately, the weight of the two combined was too much for him even with the M16 strapped to his back, so he reluctantly discarded it – they had more back at the gym, so he wasn’t too concerned about using it. Having an idea, he carefully wedged the M16 into the space where the shotgun had been, so that it looked like he hadn’t stolen a weapon – as long as no one looked too closely, that was. That done, he turned his attention back to the sleek, black shotgun. It looked like it had been modified somewhat crudely – the bottom tube part at the front looked as though it had been repurposed by hand into another barrel, and a second trigger was added to the handle. So, maybe this thing does double-blasts? Jeremy wondered, appraising the new weapon with a by-now practiced eye. But why would a soldier carry a modified shotgun? Jeremy shrugged – maybe the guy was a gun enthusiast. It wouldn’t surprise him, if said adult white male was in the military.
The soldier was also wearing two bandoliers filled with shotgun shells, but some at the front looked a little… melted. Jeremy discarded these, strapping the bandoliers around his uniform and loading a few shells into the chamber. To his surprise, it fit more than one, indicating the shotgun could be used multiple times in succession. Checking the side of the gun just above the trigger, he found a tiny, unlabeled switch. Jeremy flipped it, and it did nothing, so he shrugged, exiting the room cautiously.
Just as he was about to take the stairs, he heard a voice shouting as it ran up the stairs, the sounds echoing loudly. Jeremy ducked around the door, pulling out the shotgun and pumping the handle once. Just as the man sprinted through the door, Jeremy unleashed a blast to his chest, in his haste pressing both triggers instead of just the main one. The gun jerked back and nearly hit him in the face, and the terrorist was blown apart, a visible hole in his chest as he went down and blood began pooling around Jeremy’s shoes. Jeremy stared for a moment, awed by the raw power of the weapon in his hands. He pumped the trigger again, and two shells ejected from the chamber. Now he knew what the modifications were for: This shotgun could fire two shells at once. Holy shit , this was overpowered – if he’d been on the other end of this gun, he’d have been fifty shades of fucked . Listening at the top of the stairs, he didn’t hear any other voices – but just in case, he kept the gun close.
Despite a few mishaps and ambushes along the way, Jeremy managed to make it back to the gym – and by now, he was both excited and absolutely terrified at the power this weapon possessed. Its only drawback was the constant reloading and pumping of shells. Once again, he knocked on the door, calling out his presence. The door jerked open, and he quickly slipped inside before the woman inside slammed it shut again. Jeremy wiped the sweat from his brow, taking off his hood as he started to make his way out of his suit.
“New gun?” the woman asked, noticing the bandoliers and shotgun as Jeremy cast them to the side.
“Yeah… looks modified. And very, very overpowered,” Jeremy joked.
Once it was off, the woman moved his suit on top of a towel so it wouldn’t bloody the floor. “Well, go talk to Mr. Reichgott, he’s an expert with guns,” the woman counseled, and Jeremy thanked her.
Just as he was about to leave, he turned back around, and the teacher looked at him expectantly. “…Which one is Mr. Reichgott?” he asked, and the woman sighed slightly and pointed to a middle-aged, German man over in the far corner. Thanking her again, Jeremy walked over.
He found Mr. Reichgott with the other teachers, evidently instructing one on how to put on a Kevlar vest. As Jeremy approached, Mr. Reichgott looked up with a frown.
“Hello. Do you need something?” he asked, and Jeremy nodded, holding out the now-unloaded gun.
“I was wondering if you could tell me what this is,” he asked, and Mr. Reichgott nodded.
“This... is a Franchi SPAS-12, manufactured sometime around the 80’s by the French. Looks like it’s been modded, too – there’s a second barrel here, or something, and another trigger too.”
Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, it does double blasts – I saw two shells eject from the chamber every time I pressed both triggers.” Mr. Reichgott appraised the gun with an appreciative grin on his face, and Jeremy got the feeling Mr. Reichgott did some gunsmithing in his spare time.
“All in all, you’re lucky to have this – one of a kind, probably, and very powerful. I’d advise saving whatever ammunition you have for tight scrapes,” Mr. Reichgott concluded, and Jeremy thanked him before putting the gun by his suit, with a hastily-written, large note that read “DO NOT USE – Modified weapon, limited ammo” by the side.
He finally took a seat back by Jackie and Sam, and told them what had happened, leaving out the particularly gory bits. Sam laughed at his description of the new gun, and Jeremy shared a smile with the other two as Sam reminisced on how similar it sounded to a “higher-level weapon” from an FPS video game.
“Well, one thing’s for certain – this is gonna go a lot quicker now that I have that thing,” Jeremy asserted, and Jackie clapped him on the back.
“That’s the spirit, Wonderboy,” she complimented, and Jeremy blushed as only a compliment could make him blush. He lightly slugged her on the shoulder, and Jackie laughed it off.
Chapter 0.6
9-8-13, 3:07 P.M.
Jeremy returned from one of his latest rounds to find that some terrorists had attempted to storm the gym in his absence. Thankfully, the teachers had successfully repelled the invasion, and there was a fresh pile of bodies to add to the increasingly awful stench of decay that permeated the air of the school. He himself hadn’t run into anyone, and was beginning to suspect they were avoiding him due to how insanely lucky he had been at killing them.
The special shotgun he had picked up two days ago was left untouched, as Jeremy was suffering from a horrible case of “Too-Good-To-Use Syndrome” and wanted to save it for something special. He had instead found another M16, and used that. He had also considered dropping the pistol and revolver, but Mr. Reichgott informed him that those were a Glock 19 and a Colt Python .357 respectively, and Jeremy nodded out of semi-interest as he decided to keep them – he never knew when he might be forced to rely on them.
The Radio Club had been hard at work deciphering the latest transmissions, but they were having a hard time piecing together the meanings – sensing an opportunity to be useful, a decent portion of the students and even the teachers joined in, chiming in with their ideas. Jeremy had even contributed, making sure to steal a walkie-talkie off the next one he killed. This helped immensely, as now they no longer had to tap into the frequency every time they wished to listen in – they could just wait for the walkie-talkie to do its work.
“Christ, now I know what it’s like to be you,” the leader said to Jeremy as the rest of the Radio Club lounged around, taking a break due to radio silence.
Jeremy snorted with amusement. “Yeah? Grab a rifle, see if you still feel that way.”
Considering this, the radio club president remained silent. Feeling awkward, Jeremy looked at him after a moment of silence. “I mean… sorry, but…” Jeremy started to apologize, but she cut him off with a raised hand.
“Don’t. I know what you mean.”
The radio crackled to life, and the two immediately rushed over to hear it, the rest of the radio club listening in as well. One of them held up his phone to record the message, and Jeremy briefly wondered if he kept that app open constantly now. A string of garbled words issued from the mouthpiece of the walkie-talkie, and all were silent until the transmission finished.
“Got that?” the president asked, and the guy with the recording phone nodded. “Alright, play it back. Anyone catch anything?” the president asked some of the Foreign Language club, who had stationed themselves nearby.
“I think the number ‘nine’ was repeated twice, then a ‘three’,” one pointed out, and a debate immediately started.
Sighing, the radio club turned back to Jeremy. “We’ll have this one figured out in just a sec,” she asserted, dismissing him.
Jeremy politely nodded, and made his way back over to Sam and Jackie, who were discussing Sam’s current Nintendo DS game. Jeremy immediately joined in, always glad of a reprieve from being serious.
9-8-13, 9:09 P.M.
It wasn’t until after dinner that the radio club leader sought Jeremy out, and he reluctantly got up and followed her over to her group’s area. Once again, he was presented with a translated note – this time, however, it was free of corrections.
“Sorry about the handwriting,” a guy apologized, and Jeremy dismissed this with a wave of his hand.
“Nah, it’s cool, I can read this.” He began reading the note, frown growing as he read farther and farther. “’Helicopter scheduled to arrive at 9 P.M. on 9/9/13, we are pulling out to the roof at 8, repeat, we are pulling out to the roof at 8.’ They’re just leaving?” he asked the radio club, who gave a collective shrug.
“I guess they didn’t want to call this a complete failure,” the president mused.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because losing a decent portion of your group to a 17-year-old can still be counted as a ‘success’…” He thought about this new information. A grin slowly grew on his face as an idea occurred to him.
“…Alright, what’s with the face?” The radio club leader asked, slightly alarmed.
“Well, think about it. Every single remaining terrorist is going to be in one place, at one time. Even the ones guarding the borders,” Jeremy pointed out.
“Which means…?” the president asked.
Jeremy sighed, aggravated that they weren’t getting it but jubilant at the conclusion he had just drawn.
“We can escape.”
A few hours later, rumor had spread like wildfire that escape was possible, and Jeremy did all he could to prevent students and teachers alike from speaking loud enough that outsiders could hear them. Still, the atmosphere of the gym was that of subdued, hushed excitement – they were finally going to leave this hellhole. Jeremy, meanwhile, was working out a plan of his own: As soon as the terrorists learned of the escape attempt, they would probably attempt to delay the helicopter leaving so they could start picking off students and accomplish something. But, they couldn’t do that if they couldn’t get off the roof…
With this aim in mind, he approached Jackie.
“You heard?” he inquired in a whisper, and Jackie nodded.
“So damn close, I can’t even wait,” she pronounced in an equally quiet tone.
“Okay. I need you to do me a favor,” Jeremy asked, and Sam put away his DS to listen.
Jeremy took a seat on the mat. “What I need you to do is, right around 8 P.M., follow me up to the rooftop staircase.” Jackie cocked an eyebrow.
“…And then what?” she asked.
“Lock me out,” Jeremy answered, grinning. Jackie looked at him as though he were crazy, which he probably was to some extent.
“Are you – are you sure ? They’re all gonna be up there, you know,” she pointed out.
Jeremy shrugged. “Can’t be that many left, right? Besides, even if I die, they’re locked out – that way, they can’t shoot anyone trying to escape.” Jackie clearly saw the logic in this, but she was inclined to argue – Sam stopped her.
“Let it go, girl,” he told her quietly. “It’s the best strategy we’re gonna get.”
Jackie sighed, then slumped her shoulders. “I just… don’t you dare die up there, okay?” she pleaded with Jeremy, who gave a cocky grin.
“Die? Me? Nah. I’m gonna get up, and I’m gonna kick some as s,” he replied, and Jackie laughed. With that, they prepared for bed.
9-9-13, 2:00 P.M.
When next Jeremy walked into the gym, tensions were running high. The prospect of escape, combined with the thrill of having survived an entire week had taken its toll on the collective emotional psyche of the students and teachers, and everyone was circled up in hushed whispers. Jeremy grabbed a lunch that had been saved for him, and didn’t even bother to take off his suit as he sat down by Jackie and Sam, who wrinkled their noses at the offensive stench of dried blood that permeated every square inch of the fabric.
“Hey, no fresh blood. Nobody come by?” Sam asked, and Jeremy shook his head.
“I think they’re trying to hold out until their helicopter arrives,” he answered. Jackie, meanwhile, had grabbed her sniper rifle, and was checking and rechecking it to make sure everything was in working order.
“Say, you going to use the God-Killer Shotgun for this one?” Sam asked.
Jeremy smirked. “Might as well, ain’t got nothin’ better to do with it.”
Sam chuckled, going back to his game and barely flinching as one of his friends stroked the inside of his sweater – Jeremy had long ago learned not to question such things. And besides, the sweater in question was extremely fluffy to the touch.
9-9-13, 6:42 P.M.
Jeremy had been making the rounds around the school, even though he knew that there would be no one there – he was mainly putting on a show for the cameras, including wearing an increasingly ‘confused’ expression each time he surveyed the area and found no one. Having just finished such a round, he knocked on the gym door once and they let him in. Once he had removed his suit, he approached his old P.E. teacher cautiously. He looked at Jeremy in surprise, as they hadn’t spoken to each other in quite a while, never having had a reason.
“Okay, what I’m about to ask, I want you to take with the utmost confidentiality, alright?” Jeremy asked. His P.E. teacher slowly nodded. “What do I do… to prepare for a really big fight? Is there anything helpful I can do beforehand?” he continued.
His teacher thought for a moment. “Stretch,” he decided. “Stretch in as many different positions as you can – no telling which way you’ll need to bend.” Jeremy nodded, and went to do just that.
To his surprise, Jackie joined him without saying anything – perhaps because she, too, understood what he was trying to do. Fitness classes were sporadic at best, as with the other classes – while teachers would give lessons if the kids approached them, most kids just wanted extra time off to socialize. For a solid half hour, they warmed up, until Jeremy’s calves were burning and he felt more limber than ever before.
At the end, he busied himself getting ready for the ultimate fight of his life. Jeremy slipped on his suit, noting how comfortable he had become in it – he felt almost as though it were his new uniform, save for the bloodstains and bullet holes. He tried once more to grab both his M16 and SPAS-12, but as to be expected, they were too heavy for him to carry both effectively. Finally, Jackie came over and showed him a configuration of the bandoliers he was wearing that allowed him to support the weight of both – it was still heavy, yeah, but now possible for him to carry two guns at once. Just to be sure, he also put the Colt Python and the Glock 19 in two pockets near his waist, loaded and ready to go just in case something happened. By the time he was ready, he felt as though he were wearing a suit of iron instead of Kevlar, but he was about as fully prepared as he could get.
9-9-13, 8:07 P.M.
“Oh shit, man, you sure this’ll work?” Jackie whispered as they crept up to the rooftop entrance. The guard was on the other side of the door, and was looking away from them – now was the perfect chance.
“Yeah, we should be good. You got the key?” Jeremy asked. Jackie held up the small brass key that would lock the rooftop door. Jeremy nodded. “Good. Let’s do it.”
Jackie put a hand on his shoulder, and Jeremy sensed her misgivings as he turned to her. “Jeremy, you don’t have to do this. We can just let them go, and they’ll probably never harm us again.”
Jeremy gazed up at the ceiling for a while, as though hoping to find a suitable answer there. Finding none, he sighed. “And read in the news a week later about them torturing some other children, who weren’t so lucky? No, Jackie, I have to do this. I have to .”
They peeked out the window to find what looked to be thirty terrorists, milling around. Part of Jeremy was surprised there were so many, and another part was surprised there were so few. The main portion of his brain, however, was just worried at the thought of taking on so many at once – if they decided to dogpile him, he’d be a goner. Jackie, meanwhile, was looking at his shotgun.
“At least set that thing to auto if you’re going to be doing this,” she hissed in his ear.
Jeremy looked at her confusedly, and she pointed out the small switch above the trigger, flipping it upward into what Jeremy assumed was the “automatic” position. “Now you won’t have to reload each time,” she informed him, and Jeremy smiled gratefully.
“Good to know,” he whispered back.
Jackie positioned herself to the right of the door while Jeremy approached from the left, and walked right up to it and opened it. For a moment, all was silent as the terrorists stared, caught off guard by his unexpected entrance.
“Gentlemen?” he remarked, sounding significantly less French than he had hoped – but not before he caught a snicker from behind him, followed quickly by the sound of the door locking. Jeremy grinned – if nothing else, at least his last joke had been appreciated. He brought up his shotgun, and began blasting away.
The next few minutes were utter pandemonium – terrorists were running all over the roof, trying to escape him and his shotgun while also trying to shoot him. Jeremy, for his part, mostly stayed in the open, not wanting to get cornered and strangled or something as he shot at every terrorist in sight. One even jumped off, with the intent of crashing through a window to escape below, however, the black-clad operative missed the windowsill and simply fell off the building, screaming for just a second or two before going silent once more. Meanwhile, Jeremy was taking on six or seven at once, barely feeling as the bullets penetrated the pads on his arms and legs, and ignoring the sledgehammer blows to his chest – he’d made sure to inject himself with a full shot of morphine before the fight started, and was now just about immune to pain.
“DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS! DIE DIE DIE!!” he howled, blasting more of them apart before hurriedly reloading – seeing their opportunity, the remaining forces surged forward.
Jeremy ran backward, feet slipping momentarily as he traversed the edge of the roof – he could barely see, it was so dark out. Finally, he had enough shotgun shells, and blew the oncoming hostiles apart with two double-barrel blasts.
Finally, all was silent. Jeremy looked around, hardly daring to believe that he had won, and made to get up. Roughly, he was pushed back down, and he hesitantly turned around to just barely make out a dark form behind him. A gun barrel pushed up against his temple, and he looked into the eyes of his killer.
“You die now,” the man simply said, and Jeremy swallowed nervously.
“Can’t we, ah, talk about this?” he stammered, terrified.
The man pushed a button on his walkie-talkie, and was about to respond, but a fraction of a second later his head burst into red mist, his body slumping to the floor. Jeremy looked around, bewildered. Who had saved him? Then he heard the sound of the door to the rooftops locking again, and smiled.
There was no one else on the rooftop – so why had the man used his walkie-talkie? Jeremy wondered, looking around. He heard a soft step behind him, and whipped around only to find Jackie, hair blowing in the nighttime breeze.
“What the hell are you still doing here?” Jeremy furiously whispered.
Jackie rolled her eyes, though Jeremy could tell she was scared. “Saving your ass, dipshit! The chopper’s going to be here in a few minutes, and it’s loaded with guns – we gotta get off the roof!”
Jeremy, not wanting to face a hunter-chopper with just an M16 and a SPAS-12, hesitantly nodded. “But if I don’t take care of the chopper, who will?” he asked as they fairly flew down the stairs, Jackie leading him somewhere.
“The military. They’re finally doing their job, they got a rocket launcher for it – also, they apparently activated some missiles just north of here the second they saw you. Something about hacking into the U.S. defense system? Guy wasn't exactly specific over the phone... Anyway, point is, the military counterhacked them and shut the missiles off – we’re safe.”
Jeremy looked at her wondrously. “You mean… it’s over?” he asked, voice small.
Jackie gave him a tired smile. “Yeah,” she said. “We’re finally done.”
The chopper went down without too much fuss – while Jeremy didn’t like the U.S. military’s negotiating tactics, he had to admire their weaponry. With that accomplished, and once they had sweeped the area to determine no terrorists were left alive, the military released the kids and teachers to their waiting families, who swept them up and drove them home. Jeremy waited at the border for his own family, hoping for a miracle, but a female police member approached him after just a few minutes.
“They’re not here… I’m so, so sorry,” she admitted, and Jeremy looked down at the ground. It was true, then. His parents were dead.
“I… I need to be alone,” he whispered, and stumbled away from the whooping crowds, away from the military, away from his friends and their families and their happy ending.
A few sharply-dressed men came to visit him after a few moments. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, but we need to talk," one said, adjusting his tie. Jeremy dully stared at him, not really processing the words. What did it matter? What did anything matter?
They went over to an unused classroom, where the group of people spent some time closing the doors and locking the windows. This would have made Jeremy worried under ordinary circumstances, but he no longer cared. So what if they were going to arrest him for killing the military? His parents were dead. As far as Jeremy was concerned, his life was effectively over. He was about to make some quip about getting it over with, when he noticed a familiar face at the window. Sam was looking in, seemingly concerned. It occurred to Jeremy that even if he didn't care about his life anymore, others would. He had friends... and to be honest, he needed them right now.
The group of businessmen finally motioned him over to a makeshift conference table.
"We're aware that you may have seen some... questionable decisions by the military squad dispatched into the school," one began nervously. "We're here to offer you a deal. In exchange for you not informing the public about what happened, we'll allow you a request of your own. Anything you want, if we can get it."
Jeremy glared at them suspiciously. What game were they playing? He knew that the military had done some unconscionable things that probably shouldn't be publicly spread, but why would they try to bargain with him? They could just silence him by force, or something. In fact, Jeremy realized with a sinking feeling, that was probably exactly what they were going to do. They'd wait until he thought he was safe, and drag him off somewhere to never be seen again until he swore he'd keep the secret. How to prevent this? Jeremy thought. Finally, something occurred to him. It was by no means foolproof, but it would do in a pinch.
"I get to keep the guns," he replied, and they looked taken aback.
"Why?" one asked, and Jeremy simply glared at him until the man started shifting nervously.
"I keep the guns, and I don't get a medical checkup after this. I'm fine," he asserted.
They looked at each other, then nodded. "That sounds... reasonable. We'll fill out the necessary paperwork for the firearms," one finally answered. Jeremy thrust his hand forward, practically daring the man to shake it. He was not going to be backstabbed by the military a second time. He'd make sure of that much.
It took about half an hour, but he'd finally loaded all the guns he wanted to keep into his car. He'd only taken one of each - the M16 assault rifle, the modified Franchi SPAS-12, the revolver, and the Glock 19 - but he stocked up on ammunition as well, taking as much as he felt like from the massive stockpiles that remained in the school. One of the businessmen watched him do it, quietly standing off in the background.
9-9-13, 9:07 P.M.
Jeremy got in his black, clunky car and headed home from his school. It had been an insanely long week, and he was glad it was all over…
Chapter 1
9-09-13, 9:07 P.M.
Jeremy got in his black, clunky car and headed home from his school. It had been a long week, and he was insanely glad it was all over. No more fighting, no more looking around a corridor and wondering if a bullet was going to greet his face, just some rest and quiet time. Pausing a moment to wipe the blood and gunpowder off of his face, he surveyed his reflection in the car mirror. His faded, milky blue eyes contrasted heavily with the dried blood that was splattered on his clothes and rectangular glasses, not to mention his coppery hair and pale complexion, and his clothes were severely torn. Worse, it looked like some of his bullet wounds were re-opening. Fun.
He didn’t look forward to what awaited him at his house. He hadn't yet seen anything, and the police would have presumably removed the bodies, but there was bound to be blood everywhere - or, at the very least, memories. Well, at least he got the job done in the end - although he wasn't in the safe zone yet: Blood was still dripping down his face, obscuring his vision until he angrily brushed it off, swerving a little as a result. As he drove down the road, he noticed that the military had disappeared, presumably out of shame. In addition, yet more spectators were watching him drive away, presumably to victory. Some were taking pictures, and yet more were pointing and staring – Jeremy would simply have to learn to live with it. He was going to be some sort of celebrity now, whether he wanted to be or not. He waited for the light of the underpass to turn green, and sped off into the night.
As he was driving, Jeremy noticed how dark it was – typical for a September night, but still annoying because he had only recently graduated from driving school. He turned up the hill to his house, and sped off into the even darker, forested confines of his neighborhood. Damn Seattle-area suburbs - so many trees even the headlights weren't doing much. Still, he always enjoyed the look of a streetlight surrounded by trees and pavement - maybe it was just because this was home for him. Unfortunately, it made it hard to see where he was going. Every time he turned the corner, the pile of guns in the backseat would clink against each other annoyingly, so that wasn't helping his concentration either. At least he was almost home - as soon as he opened the door, he planned to flop onto the floor and sleep off the pain. The morphine in his veins was still present, causing them to stand out against his skin like he was an anatomy drawing - the nurse had said this was a normal effect, but it was still extremely creepy to Jeremy.
Suddenly, there was a bright blue light in front of him, and a THUMP! Swearing profusely, Jeremy quickly got out of his car, and went to see what he had hit. What had caused the light, anyway? Maybe his headlights had reflected off of something odd? Wait, could he have hit a person ? With a flashlight, maybe? Searching in the dark, he finally came across a quadruped mammal – much more than that, he couldn’t tell in the low light. While part of Jeremy was deeply relieved he hadn't hit a human, he was still shocked and curious. He felt its body, trying to determine what it was - it was so dark, he could barely see his hand in front of his face. It felt like a sort of dog, maybe? The fur was a barely noticeable covering, maybe a few millimeters long. As he passed his hand over the side of the thing, his fingers hit soft, fluffy appendages - wings ?. Shocked, Jeremy jerked his hand away, brushing against the neck of the creature and causing it to moan with pain. Grimacing, Jeremy decided to take it back to his house and see what he could do there - he did have some leftover morphine, after all, and he might be able to call a vet or something. He picked it up, and slowly carried it over to his car, placing a towel on top of the seat so it didn’t get blood over the upholstery – not that there wasn’t enough blood on that already from when he entered. As he did, the inside light of the car flicked on, and he could finally see what it was.
Jeremy stared.
This was not what he had expected.
To start with, Jeremy had recently come into the My Little Pony fandom, watching most of the episodes and discussing them with the friend that had gotten him interested. He did enjoy the show, but he certainly wasn’t enjoying what he saw here. Was he dreaming? Had he passed out in the car for some reason, and was now hallucinating or even asleep? Jeremy shook such thoughts from his head – if he were asleep, he wouldn’t be in such pain. So he was almost definitely hallucinating.
Just a few minutes later, he arrived at his house, and pressed the button for the garage door. The sound caused both him and the pony to groan with pain – it was like a hangover, but so much worse. Not that Jeremy knew how a true hangover felt, but he’d been dehydrated plenty of times, even to the point of blacking out for a few seconds. This was that plus lacerations in several places, plus an all-over ache and fatigue that could have only come from strenuous exertion and lack of sleep. Worst of all was the ache in his shoulder - firing a gun for days on end tended to do that. Jeremy dragged the pony into the kitchen, and rubbed his eyes one more time to make sure he wasn’t just dreaming.
It was most definitely Princess Luna.
She was bleeding dark red from a gash in her side, and it looked like she had several bruised ribs. Noticeably, her flank was pockmarked with spots of blood that gently dripped down her side, landing on the floor and beginning to pool. Thankfully, due to his recent actions, Jeremy had plenty of morphine sulfate on hand – he’d meant to turn it in to some police station or other, but had ended up using it out of necessity. He took out one of the pre-measured hypodermic needles carefully, and briefly considered how much she should need. He needed about one and a half the last time he had to overcome injuries like this, which was about three days ago. However, she was lighter than he was, so he decided to just use one. Positioning the needle tip over the nearest vein he could find, he gently inserted it and pressed the plunger. The drug, as usual, quickly took effect, and Princess Luna sighed and stilled, giving over to a deep sleep.
Jeremy then took out the other medical supplies he had raided from the medic and bandaged her multiple wounds, only pausing when he came across what appeared to be a bullet wound. Unless there had been hair-trigger shotguns attached to his front bumper, he had definitely not shot her. So where the hell did the bullet wounds come from? He found a pair of tweezers from upstairs and cleaned them off, and attempted to poke around gently for any sort of bullet. To his half-surprise, he found one – but definitely not any bullet he had ever seen, and he had seen far too many over the past week or so. It was spherical, for a start, and about the size of a BB pellet – but made of lead, like a standard bullet. Though this didn't resemble any bullet he'd ever seen... He went and found a vial in his garage lab – one perk of hobby chemistry was that you always had plenty of scientific apparatus on hand, even if some desperately needed cleaning.
Every time he found a bullet hole, he would dig out the strange bullets and place them in the vial. Soon, it was full – it was only a 10mL vial, but the amount of bullets was concerning to him. Maybe when she woke up, he’d ask her. After he was satisfied that he couldn’t make her condition any better, he gently restrained her to an ottoman with some rope from a drawer before going back to the kitchen table and sitting down heavily. Jeremy considered his options, head in his hands. Calling the police, hospital, or veterinarian would be a huge no-no, as they would most likely get the media… more involved than they were going to be. Calling his friends would do nothing to help his situation, as being an Eagle Scout he had more medical knowledge than any of them. So, he was on his own then. That was okay. He was used to that. Sighing, Jeremy looked over once more at Princess Luna, who was still sleeping, a frown on her face. She had had weight and substance, not to mention plenty of blood - so either this was the most realistic hallucination ever, or he had just witnessed First Contact from Equestria and it had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Jeremy tried to examine her, to determine from what time she had come from - all he got, however, was that she had transitioned to her darker-blue Season 2 form. Also, despite being depicted as a cartoon, she was very realistic in this world, each feather and hair on her coat more realistic than any artist could ever hope to portray. The only truly surreal thing about her appearance was her hair: It didn't look like hair at all, instead resembling an opaque cloud of gas that swirled around her head. Jeremy was tempted to touch it and find out what was up with it, but he feared the reactions if Luna woke up to him touching and poking her. Thus, he simply went back to treating his own wounds, eventually running out of medical gauze and resorting to paper towels. Thankfully, he hadn't gotten shot anywhere vital, and the school nurse had been invaluable in treating the worse injuries.
Jeremy completely failed to notice as Luna broke free of her bonds. Unsteadily, she got to her feet, and began using magic to patch herself up. The effort caused her to fall back into unconsciousness, shocking Jeremy out of his trance as she hit the floor again. Looking up, he noted with some surprise that she had gotten four feet away from her makeshift bed before collapsing again. Examining her further, he found to his surprise that she had managed to heal all of her injuries. Shrugging, he tied her to the ottoman again, more securely so she wouldn’t break free and hurt herself again so easily. He then went up to his own bed, and attempted to sleep.
His dreams were filled with images of Luna, some real, some fake in the way only dream logic could distinguish them as such. Jeremy tried to ask her what had happened in the dream, but it seemed she was in just as much of a haze as he was, as she couldn't answer. After a while, she simply disappeared, leaving his dreaming mind to its own artifices.
9-10-13, 2:34 P.M.
When Jeremy woke up, sunlight was streaming through the windows and it was clearly late afternoon. He was sore all over, but feeling well enough to get up in his opinion. This thought was neatly shattered when he attempted to stand and a tidal wave of pain crashed over him. Curling into a sitting position and breathing shakily, he examined his arm: the morphine must have run its course, as his veins were once again nearly invisible. So, he was sober now, then? Jeremy had no idea - he didn't have much experience with morphine, not until last week at least. His stomach chose that exact moment to remind him how little he had eaten recently, so he decided that he needed to get downstairs to the kitchen, whether he liked it or not. Carefully hugging the wall so as not to pass out, he made his way to the stairs. He literally slid down – he had done this sometimes as a little kid, and while it was jarringly bumpy, it was not so painful as attempting to put his weight fully on either one of his feet. It was also kind of fun. Once at the bottom, he slowly picked himself up and grabbed the wall again, only to be distracted by the sight of Luna standing in the hallway to the kitchen. So, it wasn't a hallucination, he thought. He would have been relieved, but she looked furious, and was threateningly levitating a chair as though to bludgeon him to death with it.
“THOU.” She spoke. It wasn’t her usual shouting voice, most likely due to her own recent injuries, but it was loud enough to cause instant headache all the same. Jeremy groaned and turned his head away in response, not feeling nearly well enough to speak.
“Thou art a carnivore – I looked in thy cooling device! Were thou to tie me up and eat me?!” Jeremy violently shook his head. “Speak, knave! Or face – art thou bleeding?”
Confused by the sudden change of subject, Jeremy looked up to see her examining his many bandaged injuries. She was still saying something, but all he heard was a vague buzzing. At this time, his legs finally gave out and he slumped to the floor, passing out.
When he woke up, Jeremy felt a whole lot better – he wasn’t hungry, or tired, or even in any pain. What the hell? Was he on morphine again? He looked around – he was back in his bed, and there was an empty tray that looked like it had contained food and drink. He decided not to get up just yet – the pain before had made him forget how nice it was to be in a comfy bed, and forget about the world. Luna came in, glaring at him as soon as he looked at her. He looked away guiltily. Was she the one who had put him back into bed? And... fed him ? Judging from her expression, he didn't think she would have bothered for a second, but there was no other explanation.
“Can thou speak? T'would seem so, yet thou art silent.” Luna queried.
“Yes,” Jeremy whispered. He cleared his throat and tried again, almost too nervous to continue. “Yes, I can speak.”
Luna stared for a bit before answering with a stern and threatening tone. “Then explain at once. We have woken up twice now restrained and sedated, and there was the flesh of other animals in thy steel cooling chamber.”
Jeremy grimaced – how best to explain? “I tied you up and gave you painkillers because I didn't want you to hurt yourself more,” he finally managed to reply. “And... Humans eat meat... sorry.”
This caused Luna to stare at him with even more intensity than before, enough to make Jeremy look away awkwardly once more. “Truly, thou art human? We have never seen one of thy kind before… thou art presumed to be mythical.” To that piece of irony, Jeremy could only chuckle. “Have we said something amusing?” Luna asked, clearly somewhat offended.
“Well, yes. In this world, pretty much every sentient species of your world is mythical. So, it’s ironic…” Jeremy trailed off. It had just now occurred to him that he was talking to a fictitious member of a mythical species from an alien planet. Well, this was an interesting turn in his life – and certainly a much better one than the previous week of hell he’d been through. Meanwhile, Luna was looking perplexed, almost as though she could read his mind.
“Fictitious…?” She whispered, confused and dismayed. “Are we… not real?” She finally asked, finding no other way to state her question. Jeremy thought about his answer, and also tried to hide his thoughts from her, not to mention his fear - this mare could move the moon if she so desired, he didn't think she'd have a problem with decapitating him on the spot if he misspoke.
“Well, you're here... and physical.. But...” he pondered out loud. How was he going to get out of this? He couldn't possibly tell a character of a fictional universe that they were fictional, that might break the universe. But he couldn't lie to her, either - she'd know! He began shaking in fear, and Luna stared at him, concerned.
Finally, she put a gentle hoof on his shoulder, and Jeremy froze. "Thou can trust us. We promise not to harm thee for thy answer," she assured calmly, gazing down at him with such warm sincerity that Jeremy actually felt better.
"I..." he began, trying to formulate enough actual thought to come up with a coherent and logical answer. Luna waited expectantly, and after some more thinking he suddenly had an idea. “You know that adventuring pony, Daring Do?” he asked. Luna slowly nodded, suspiciously.
“Of course we do… but how do thou ?” Jeremy rolled over to face her completely.
“You and a few ponies you know are basically Daring Do here - fictional characters that teach life lessons while going on adventures.” Blushing, Jeremy wished that he didn't sound so maddeningly smug - everyone always said his tone sounded a bit disdainful when explaining things, no matter how much he tried to prevent this. Also, he just revealed the existence of the Fourth Wall - was some extradimensional police force going to kill him for that, or something? That sounded stupid, but Princess Luna of Equestria was currently on Earth, in his house, having a conversation with him - possibility had clearly taken a right turn at reality and disappeared entirely.
Luna was clearly shocked from being told that she was essentially a children’s storybook character, but it didn’t look like she was about to shout at him again. "We... believe thou think this is true. But what proof dost thou have of such an... extraordinary claim?" she asked carefully. Jeremy looked away - he had already told her the biggest part of it, might as well go all the way.
He got up, noticing how easy it was to do so, and slowly walked over to his desktop computer in the next room, noticing that all his wounds were now just pink scars. “Did you heal me, by the way?” he asked Luna, who was following him curiously and a little bit impatiently. She nodded. He booted up his desktop, which was a somewhat old model and thus a little slow to start.
Luna appraised the technology. “Such complexity... Equestrian technology has not advanced nearly this far, even in the time we have been absent,” she commented as she examined the computer with what appeared to be X-ray vision, her horn lighting up blue. Jeremy fascinatedly stared at the innards of his computer – not that he hadn’t seen them plenty of times when his Dad took the PC apart to upgrade or repair it, but it was still interesting, and he still didn’t want to think about his dad.
Once he had finally signed in to his account, he waited the required 30 seconds for the desktop icons to load, and opened Google Chrome. He searched for the first episode of the first season of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic, and was rewarded after some searching with the full episode, in moderate quality. Luna watched as the opening scene unfolded and the music started. Jeremy couldn’t keep a straight face, but was unsure whether to laugh or blush with embarrassment. They watched in silence for the full 20-ish minutes, and when it was done Jeremy looked at Luna for her reaction. Her mouth was open in astonishment, and her eyes were as wide as they could go. “That was exactly how it happened, down to the most minute detail… Then thou art speaking truthfully? We are already known here?” she exclaimed. Jeremy simply nodded, unsure of what else to say.
"If you want to keep watching, this goes on for a while - three seasons, about twenty-six episodes per season. Looks like this site hosts all of them, too," he commented, quickly finding the next one and clicking on it. Standing up, he left to eat, and Luna cautiously sat down, manipulating the mouse clumsily to play the next video.
It was late at night when he finished, and he came back upstairs to find Luna still perusing episodes. “Don’t forget to sleep, or something,” he commented in her direction, some of his old sarcastic humor beginning to resurface. She vaguely nodded and continued watching. Jeremy rolled his eyes, but thought better of his unspoken criticism - he'd been doing the same thing for years on end. Plus, he had reacted the same way when he had first gotten into the show. Jeremy went to bed, and slept normally for the first time in a long while.
Chapter 2
9-11-13, 9:30 A.M.
When Jeremy woke up, the first thing he was aware of was that he couldn’t hear the muffled sounds of the My Little Pony episodes in the next room. He dragged himself out of bed, got dressed, and slowly and silently headed downstairs to breakfast – he was not a morning person. At least it was the weekend - though he'd probably be taking a week off of school to rest and recover anyway. To his surprise, Luna was already sitting at the kitchen table, eating toast and jam and lacking her usual black and blue armor. Jeremy raised an eyebrow as he approached, and began cooking his own breakfast, carefully choosing vegetarian ingredients so as to avoid potentially enraging her. “Aren’t you nocturnal, anyway?”
Luna finished her mouthful before answering. “We are, yes. But judging from what we remember, this world seems to be twelve hours behind ours - or perhaps ahead, depending on one's perspective. Therefore, we have decided to experience the day." Jeremy absentmindedly unwrapped an old bandage around his arm, discarding it in the garbage. Princess Luna looked over, concerned. “We noticed bullet wounds on thy person when we… healed thee… Didst thou engage in a gun-fight?” Luna asked curiously.
Jeremy looked over at her, alarmed. "...How do you know what a gun is?" he asked suspiciously. To his surprise, Luna gave him an equally suspicious look.
"That is not thy concern - answer our question," she flatly replied.
Part of Jeremy was still pretty scared of her, but this statement riled him - didn't he have a right to know? "Fine. Yes. I shot at people. A lot of people. They shot back. Anything else you want to know?" he rudely retorted. Realizing what he had just said, he looked away, only to return his gaze to Luna - she looked oddly apologetic.
Finally, she spoke. "We... apologize for prying. We will not do so again." Jeremy sighed and placed a hand to his forehead, taking a seat across from her.
"It's... fine..." he tiredly answered - he just wanted this conversation to be over.
Princess Luna appeared to acknowledge this, and went back to her food - but every so often, he would catch her staring at him, as though sizing him up. Feeling uncomfortable, he put his plate away and headed back upstairs, hoping for a day of relaxation. He could hear Luna rummaging around downstairs, but wasn’t too concerned until he heard a shotgun blast right outside his house. He immediately ran out and around to the backyard, foregoing shoes in favor of his bare feet, to find Luna with a rectangular bruise on her face in the backyard. "Princess Luna, what are you doing ?!" he called out, running over. She started guiltily, and looked over at him like she had been caught stealing.
“We... we must learn to use this!" Luna asserted, levitating the shotgun so that it pointed off to the side.
Jeremy looked at her in horror. "Why?!" he asked angrily - the thought of Princess Luna with a SPAS-12 in hoof made him think of all sorts of Equestrian post-apocalyptic scenarios. He marched over and snatched the gun from her magical grasp, and unloaded it with a practiced rigor. "Okay, first of all, don't steal stuff you don't know how to use! Second, what do you need this for? Are you going to shoot me for insubordination? Is that what this is about?" he asked, part sarcastic and part hysterical. Luna clapped a hoof to her mouth.
"Is that... what thou think of us?" she asked, lower lip quivering. Oh, fuck , Jeremy thought. The image of Princess Luna crying was enough to snap him out of his tirade.
"I..." he tried to answer.
Princess Luna lowered her head, on the verge of tears. "It is true we are inexperienced at making friends. But that is what we want to do! We want to befriend thee, not harm thee." She looked away as though she expected him to attack her.
Jeremy approached her cautiously, dropping the shotgun onto the lawn. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he mumbled. Luna sat down on her haunches, seemingly not even caring about the dew, and after a moment's hesitation Jeremy took a seat beside her. Finally, she looked over at him, still sad but now with a hint of uncertainty.
"May we... May we start over? I never did... get thy name," she asked. After a moment, he nodded, and Luna tentatively held out a hoof. "Luna," she greeted, and Jeremy gave a small smile as he clasped her hoof in his hand and carefully shook it.
"Jeremy," he replied, and she smiled. He let go, and they both stood up. "Now... we believe we owed thee an explanation," she mentioned, and Jeremy looked at her in confusion before he remembered what she was talking about. They headed inside first, as Luna claimed the story was somewhat lengthy. Along the way, Jeremy picked up the shotgun and ammo, setting them carefully down on the table and taking a seat across from Luna once more. She took a deep breath before beginning.
“By now, we are certain thou art aware of the existence of the changelings, insectoid creatures who can take the form of any they see. A short while ago, the queen Chrysalis was defeated by the combined efforts of the Elements of Harmony, Princess Mi Amore de Cadenza, and her groom Shining Armor. She has since gathered her forces, preparing for a new attack.” Jeremy nodded, intrigued. “This time, Chrysalis has amassed enough changeling troops for a direct invasion, and has started in Ponyville as it was the closest town to where she lives.”
Jeremy looked up. “Incidentally, where does she live?” Luna thought about it. “As far as we can tell, inside the Everfree Forest. No pony has ventured near enough to the changeling lair and returned alive to confirm this.” Jeremy nodded, and waved a hand for her to keep going.
“At first, Princess Twilight was confident she could overcome the changeling hordes with her magic, but was quickly coerced to surrender when the changelings presented similar weapons," Luna continued, pointing at the shotgun. Jeremy's eyes widened - changelings with guns ? What the hell! Luna cleared her throat nervously. "We... have not heard from Princess Twilight since." Jeremy was by now officially worried - his first thought had been to wonder why Twilight hadn't just used her alicorn powers to wreck the army. "Thusly, we were called upon to act while Celestia stayed in Canterlot to oversee evacuation and war strategies. We were ambushed by a squadron of changelings and their weapons, and before we were about to die, we cast a spell in desperation to take us anywhere else. And, by some act of chance, it took us here," she finished.
Jeremy winced. “And you promptly got hit by a car. Sorry about that.” Luna graciously accepted the apology.
“Equestria has never seen extensive use of these ‘guns’ – ponies could not use them, due to our lack of additional appendages. It has taken our armies completely by surprise - not that we have much of an army anymore. We swear, if this were the old days..." Luna grumbled. Jeremy forced back a smile at her griping expression.
"So, you're just going to suddenly learn how to use guns, and go to town on them?" he asked, grinning at her.
Luna embarrassedly laughed. "Now that thou put it that way... nay, that will not work. But... the only other option we see... is for thee to take our place."
Jeremy stared. She was asking him, after he had just gotten out of the hell that was war, to jump right back in. Against changelings . He quickly shook his head. “Oh, hell no. No, no, NO! Once was enough – I am not fighting an army again. I don't care how important you think this is, just no. Not this time!” he shouted, holding his head in his hands and shaking slightly. Luna appeared to be unsure how to respond for a moment, then pushed his hands away with her hooves, forcing him to look at her through furious, tear-stained eyes.
“Jeremy, if thou should refuse to help us, our people will surely die. These are innocent, civilian lives at stake – and if anyone can save them, by all rights it could be thou. After all… the shot-gun was not the only gun we saw in the back of your motorized carriage.”
Jeremy glared at her stubbornly, and she shifted a bit. "Yeah, how about no . You watched the episodes: Twilight Sparkle will get lucky, pull some sort of deus ex machina to save the day, and everypony will go home happy, safe and sound. That's how it works, right? Destiny and all that?" he rhetorically asked.
Luna uncertainly nodded. "But... if you put so much trust in the workings of fate... then why, pray tell, am I here?" she rebutted, and Jeremy considered this.
"Well... still! I'm not helping. Just... no," he flatly answered, feeling somewhat nervous behind his anger - this was Princess Luna he was denying. She could easily force him to comply if she so chose, and Jeremy thought she might not have a problem with that if she were this desperate.
“Look... we promise to reward thee as thou see fit. Just... please...” Luna whispered. Surprised at her tone, Jeremy stopped his own train of thought to reconsider. Clearly, she was desperate - he had expected the Canterlot Voice treatment at every step and she was actually begging him for help . Did she really consider him that much of an advantage? Why? He had gotten lucky last time - the only things he had known when driving to school on that fateful day was minor knowledge of guns from Boy Scouts and a very, very small knowledge of self-first aid from the Internet.
Jeremy placed a hand to his forehead, grimacing as he said words he had never wanted to say again. "Okay... okay. I'll fight for you guys. Just... after this, I'm done. Forever. That'll be my reward - peace, quiet, and an utter lack of gunfire in my vicinity. Got it?" Luna nodded solemnly, her expression giving way to a tentative smile as she swept him into a surprisingly strong hug for her size.
"Thank you," she whispered, before nervously stepping away from him, looking away in embarrassment. Princess Luna cleared her throat awkwardly, Jeremy still taken aback by the sudden emotions. "We thank thee most greatly... and on our word as Princess, we will honor thy deal," she replied, holding out a hoof. Jeremy shook it gently, and stood up, sighing with discomfort.
"So... might as well teach you how guns work, if you're so interested to learn. Come on, I'm not doing this inside," he remarked irritably as he walked over to the garage, slipping into a pair of shoes. Walking over to his car, he pulled out the keys and unlocked it. For a moment, he stared at the guns within, as memories began to flash through his mind. Another fake throat-clearing noise from Luna brought him back to reality, and he started nervously for a moment before remembering where he was. "Right, right..." he muttered, tentatively reaching a hand out and scooping up a heavy armful of iron and lead. Princess Luna levitated the rest along, and they marched off to the backyard.
"This is an assault rifle," Jeremy said, holding it up. "Out of all the ones I have, this was the most useful - it outputs a lot of bullets in a short time, but isn't a 'burst' fire like the shotgun." Demonstrating, he shot at a tree, the stream of bullets making the usual loud "pchchchch" sound, causing Luna's ears to noticeably twitch - Jeremy noticed that unlike a human's ears, hers could swivel and move. She was watching from the sidelines as Jeremy pulled out each gun he possessed. Most of the small arms had been discarded as "too weak" in her opinion, but Jeremy had insisted he keep the revolver he had obtained. So, his total gun count was three: A SPAS-12 shotgun, an M-16 assault rifle, and a Colt .357 magnum. Jeremy wouldn't normally know the names, but he had actually asked a teacher at his school who turned out to be amazingly helpful with guns.
9-11-13, 1:07 P.M.
Was Jeremy a hero for his actions, or a mass murderer? He wasn't sure, and probably never would be. Sure, he’d been there the day the mysterious terrorist group attacked his high school. After taking a moment to ascertain whether something that stupidly unlikely was actually happening, he’d grabbed a piece of steel pipe and fought back, later switching it out for an amassment of guns he had looted from various corpses. And yes, after a long and protracted series of battles up and down the halls of his school and sometimes in the outside parking lots and recreational areas, he’d killed enough of them to turn the tide in his favor, all without a single student death due to the combined efforts of him and his erstwhile teachers. For just coming back to school, they were surprisingly prepared – most knew how to fire a gun, lock doors, hide, and everything else they would need to survive. After it became clear he was in it for the long haul, Jeremy began stealing food from the kitchens and stockpiling it in the gymnasium where the rest of the students were holed up, with his teachers' aid. About midway through the week, the group had managed to send him a message over the intercom that they would kill his parents if he didn't stop. Jeremy ignored them, and sure enough, he received news that his parents were dead. Stupid, stupid. He had assumed that the police were blockading the area, preventing the terrorists from getting through - and they were, but that didn't stop a dedicated group from escaping and managing to shoot them before being messily dispatched by the local police.
Eventually, the military arrived at the scene, only to attempt to negotiate with the hostile party: Jeremy’s life for their leaving without taking a single life. Jeremy didn’t take too kindly to that, and after a single tossed grenade, Squad 15 and the negotiating party was only so many body parts. That in particular was one of his most regretted actions – it would have been far better to kill only the original terrorists, without harming a member of the military. Of course, after that, it was a simple game of rounding up the rest of the group, and leaving none alive. After a week of running, shooting, and desperately clinging on to life by the tips of his fingers, Jeremy had finally managed to come out alive and relatively unscathed. The rest of the students, trapped in the facility until his intervention, only escaped at the very end, when he lured all the remaining terrorists into a rooftop battle which he only barely survived and won. Thankfully, all of the terrorists had stayed in the high school buildings until the very end, trying desperately to scrounge a victory and kill Jeremy as he managed to kill more and more of them. Were they really terrorists? Jeremy had always been unsure of their goals, and simply presumed that they wanted to kill children to show the world they could. Besides, he had no other word for them, except perhaps 'attempted murderers' - every time he thought of the word 'terrorist', it reminded him of the Red Scare, but he couldn't think of a more accurate term.
Jeremy ruminated on this often, now that he was left to his own devices. Another thing that struck him was that he didn’t feel any grief, either for the deaths of his parents or the slaughter he had already committed. This was certainly inhuman, as Jeremy was under the impression that he was supposed to be crying his eyes out – all he could feel was a dull ache every time he thought about it. Was this post-traumatic stress disorder? He didn’t know enough, and he certainly wasn’t going to ask – after what he had been through, he was almost definitely a unique case. Still, once in a while he tried to feel sad for their deaths, and every time he simply could not manage to do it. It wasn’t sadness or guilt that defined his feelings, Jeremy decided. It was emptiness. He’d been bled dry of guilt, sorrow and grief, and all that was left was a dull ache where his heart should be telling him to stop, slow down, maybe shed a few tears for all that had happened. Anger, too, was gone: Initially he had been blazing with fury at the newcomers, terrorist and military alike, and had cut them down without a second thought.
He looked down at his backpack, stained with blood and emptied of textbooks and papers in favor of ammunition cartridges and medical supplies (most of which had been used last night). Was it possible to clean it? No, he’d simply have to switch to a new backpack, as this one had been ripped and torn from its extensive use anyway. He went and found another backpack, this one usually only for day trips and vacations. He neatly packed all the ammunition he had in the new backpack, as well as the remaining morphine ampoules and gauze. He then went outside to gather the rest of the ammunition for the shotgun and the other large guns, which for obvious reasons couldn’t be stored in the backpack. Luna was still out back, but he wasn’t hearing anything. He went around to the backyard to investigate, to find her still firing guns – but with no sound, evidently the result of magic on her part. She looked tired, but satisfied.
As Jeremy entered her vicinity, she stopped, pausing a moment to disable the spell and wipe the sweat from her face. “So, we’re just straight-up murdering a bunch of changelings?” Jeremy asked to confirm his thoughts. Luna nodded her head by way of greeting, and then thought about it.
“Actually, we are not sure they would die from such weapons – their form is already so amorphous that a bullet would do little more than irritate them in the long run. Still, they do feel pain when it penetrates their exoskeletons, so if thou can hit them with thy bullets enough times, they should pass out from the pain alone. We have been attempting to use these weapons, but we are not accurate enough to face the tasks ahead. Thou, on the other hoof... thou hit what thou aim at.” Jeremy considered this. On the one hand, he wasn’t committing mass murder again, which could only be a good thing. On the other, wow that would hurt them – most humans died after a short burst of rounds due to organ failure, whereas changelings would apparently keep going until the pain cut them off from consciousness. Luna went inside to wipe the gunpowder and sweat off of herself, and Jeremy followed, finding a towel for her. Then, they discussed a battle plan over dinner.
9-11-13, 8:37 P.M.
“Would that we could modify the weapon to only affect changelings,” Luna sadly remarked as she stared at the assault rifle laid on the table.
“What if I wore armor?” Jeremy queried. Luna shook her head.
“We have tried. Steel armor is simply punched through by these bullets, and we have no other material which can withstand their force, never having needed any.”
Jeremy smirked. “Thankfully, we’ve had to deal with firearms for over a thousand years, so humans have made some good steps in modern armor. First, multiple layers of nano-ceramic plates linked together like chain mail is the current bulletproofing used by our military, and it’s more effective than Kevlar – a similarly designed fabric that dampens the shock if thick enough. I was wearing Kevlar... last time... and it didn't work so well against higher-caliber bullets, and I had a full-body suit on.” Luna took notes on a notepad she had managed to find. “As for melee weapons, simple rubber padding is enough to stop most of that, and we recently invented a sweet new material called sorbothane – a derivative of polyurethane that absorbs shock insanely well.”
Luna looked up. “But what of cutting weapons? Surely a material designed for shock and impact would not withstand stabbing?” Jeremy brought over a laptop and entered a Google search.
“I once researched this as part of a pipe dream for a suit of armor - nothing I could ever actually build, mind you, just as something that would be really cool to have. Stabproof fabric is possible too – but I’m thinking it has to be a separate layer.” He pulled up a site, and together they read about nano-silicon dioxide particles mixed with a shear thickening fluid such as polyethylene glycol, and applied to a fabric such as Kevlar or even nylon. “So… what we could do to tie these all together is alternate a few layers of each, until we have a thick, padded layer of armor – plus, each one is relatively lightweight. It’ll be like wearing a particularly heavy shirt,” Jeremy mused.
“Where would we get all of this?” Luna wondered.
“I can definitely pick up some polyethylene glycol as antifreeze, and after a distillation with oven-dried salt it should be free enough of water to use. We already have the nanoparticles of silicon dioxide – it’s used as a spill cleanup, and it’s soft enough to put in the coffee grinder to pulverize it. As for the sorbothane, Kevlar and nanoceramic, those we might have to create magically – even if I placed an order for them online, it might take days or even weeks, which we probably don’t have. Speaking of which, how long do we have?” Luna considered this for a few solid minutes.
“Hmm. Given that Shining Armor has been reinstated as commander, and his troops are battling the changelings in the streets of Canterlot as we speak, and my own sister has been directly engaging the troops and knows of their weapons, we estimate we have two more days before they will presumably overrun us. As for creating those items magically, if thou can show us how they are made than we will make them – we have recovered greatly after healing.” Jeremy nodded.
“Then let’s spend tomorrow getting all of this ready, and get back there as soon as possible. You do know how to get back, right?” Luna nodded.
“Finding our home universe is easy - the spell is normally quite specific. We can send both of us back at any point, but we will be exhausted for a short while afterwards.” Jeremy grimaced.
“Then you’ll have to teleport us a distance away from any actual battle, so we can find you a place to recuperate while I go clean house.” Luna agreed, and they went upstairs to get ready for bed.
Jeremy decided to play some first-person shooter video games, to better get himself in the mood for the upcoming fight. Luna fascinatedly watched as he shot his way through scores of virtual enemies. “Canst thou replicate such performance in the real world?” she asked.
“I wish I couldn’t,” Jeremy replied.
Chapter 3
9-12-13, 7:00 A.M.
As soon as he woke up, Jeremy drove off to the nearest auto shop to get some ethylene glycol to distill. Luna did research on the structures of sorbothane, nanoceramics, and Kevlar. Jeremy got home an hour later, jugs of ethylene glycol in hand, and poured them into the boiling flask. Thankfully, he had a distillation rig that could fit the amount he needed. Luna watched apprehensively as he hooked up the rubber tubing to the sink across from the stove.
"Bit of a... what is the term? 'Nerd'? Yes, that... aren't you?" she asked, a small smile on her face.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, smiling as well. "Only a bit? Luna, you wound me." She laughed, and Jeremy gave her a grin - were they becoming friends? Carefully, he turned on the heat below the flask, pushing around some of the sand bath to better heat the glycol. That done, he sat back. "And now, we wait."
9-12-13, 9:17 A.M.
“How much hast thou obtained?” Luna asked, reading a bunch of articles on polyurethane and sounding somewhat bored.
“About 100 milliliters of water taken off? Distillation is such a slow process,” Jeremy replied.
Luna looked over. "The green colorant doth not seem to be affected... will that matter?" she asked curiously.
Jeremy shrugged, and shook his head. "Probably not - worst I'll end up with is a green suit," he joked. Luna smirked.
Making sure that the rig could be left alone safely, he studied along with Luna. He had also brought down some various, unwanted articles of clothing and a printout of the chemical structure of Kevlar, so that Luna could alter them at the molecular level to make them Kevlar fabric. By the time she was finished, and satisfied with her results, three more hours had passed. Luna ate lunch, and Jeremy breakfast. When they finished with their meals, the distillation was done, and Jeremy left the flask of newly purified and filtered ethylene glycol to cool.
9-12-13, 1:34 P.M.
Jeremy had since gotten some broken pottery and silica particles, which they were transforming into the final parts of the armor.
“I can’t believe this thing is almost done already,” Jeremy commented. “Guess that’s magic for you – efficient and above all, quick. I wish we could do that on this planet - it'd be nice.” Luna nodded, and then looked over at him.
“Thou dost not have magic in thy world… at all?” Jeremy shook his head.
“All the stuff we have is science,” he said. "Magic's a myth." Luna's horn lit up, and a plate from the table lifted off and bumped him in the shoulder. She smirked at him as he rolled his eyes. "Okay, was a myth."
9-12-13, 3:32 P.M.
They had taken the burlap-like armor out for a test run. So far, it was stabproof, and bulletproof. The tiny lead shells the changelings were presumably using were about as effective as BB pellets. “Now, could we get about a thousand of these for our military?” Luna joked.
“Hey, that’s an unfair advantage. Arms races are supposed to be one step up from each side, not like two or three,” Jeremy just as jokingly replied. Luna chuckled in response. He was finally beginning to loosen up around Luna, treating her as he would a friend. Were they friends? He wasn't sure - she was royalty, after all. He should probably not overstep his bounds, in that case. Finally, Jeremy got to put on the jumpsuit-shaped armor for the first time.
“How does it feel?” Luna asked as he slid into the skintight fabric.
“Like I’m putting on a snorkeling suit. Not heavy at all.” Jeremy replied, pleased. Luna then took out his piece of steel pipe and gave him a quick whack with it, surprising him. Jeremy winced, but then stared at his shoulder.
“There would definitely be a bruise there,” he commented.
“And what did happen?” Luna asked, with clinical curiosity.
“Nothing at all,” he responded enthusiastically.
Luna grinned. “It is ready.”
Jeremy raised a finger. “I still need a helmet, right? If they’re shooting at me, they’ll probably be aiming for the head once they figure out the body's not going to work.”
Luna thought a while, then marched off. She came back with the bag of powdered silica they had made earlier. Using her magic, she melted it, then shaped it into a roughly dome-shaped, transparent helmet, with some holes in the back so he could breathe.
“Quartz helmet. Nice,” Jeremy complimented.
"Thankfully, thou needst not worry about suffocating on our world - our oxygen content is only slightly higher," Luna informed him.
“Sounds good to me - and I’d like to see the bullet that could get through this,” Jeremy commented, appraising the helmet's smooth texture with a gloved hand.
Luna appeared to be deep in thought as she examined his suit. "Something wrong?" Jeremy asked.
"Nay, just wondering... hmm." Luna mused as her horn lit up, the M16 lifting into the air and the magazine glowing brightly. Jeremy watched in fascination, unsure what was going on. Finally, Luna stopped working her magic on the gun, and Jeremy examined it suspiciously.
"So what did that do?" he asked curiously. Luna chuckled.
"We hath enchanted thy bullets to reassemble themselves and teleport back into the magazine every time thou dost 'reload' - essentially, infinite ammunition." Jeremy's eyes went wide.
"That is... wow. That is one hell of a cheat," he remarked half-jokingly. Luna looked at him, amused.
"Tis' not cheating! Tis' merely 'bending the rules', so to speak," she retorted. Jeremy laughed.
"If you say so, Luna..."
He picked up the gun, not seeing or feeling any difference, and shot a stream of bullets at the tree again, being sure to empty the magazine. Once he heard the admittedly satisfying 'click' that indicated it was empty, he popped the magazine out, looking down the bore and seeing no bullets. Shrugging, he put it back in, pointed it at the tree and pressed the trigger. He was almost surprised when it started shooting bullets again - sure, Luna had told him, but that didn't make the effect any less magical. Luna, meanwhile, had been enchanting the SPAS-12 shotgun and the Colt .357 revolver to do the same. Finally, she levitated the newly enchanted weaponry over to him, and Jeremy grunted at the weight. Luna surveyed his difficulty with a hint of amusement.
"Yes, carrying all of these would be a task, wouldn't it?" She mused aloud. The guns lit up again, and then disappeared entirely. Jeremy spun around, looking for them.
"Um... Where'd they go?" he asked. Luna smiled deviously.
"We created a small dimensional void with which to carry them - simply think about the weapon you wish to take out or put away, and it will be done." Jeremy raised an eyebrow, but tried it out, the M16 flashing to the forefront of his mind. It appeared where it would be if he were holding it - however, his hand was not closed, so it slipped and fell to the floor.
"That'll take some getting used to," he muttered, picking it up and stowing it in the odd space Luna had created. Princess Luna giggled in response, and Jeremy noticed she was slightly panting from exhaustion. "You okay?" he asked, and Luna nodded.
"Those spells are quite complex, but we shall be fine," she reassured him, and Jeremy shrugged amicably. He went over and picked up his steel pipe, putting that in the void as well.
After checking over the suit one final time to make sure it was spotless, Jeremy thought of one more thing to do. “How am I going to know which ponies to shoot and which to protect, if the changelings start transforming?” Jeremy asked. Luna frowned.
“It has long been a point of research to try and figure out a means of telling. Unfortunately, the only thing we have discovered is that they are much colder than any pony could be."
Jeremy brightened. “If we can make an infrared camera and attach it to my glasses, I’d be able to see how hot things were.” Luna was confused by this, but looked it up, and quickly made the tiny circuitboard and camera necessary. Jeremy messily hot-glued it onto the left eye of his glasses, where he could already see well enough.
After that, they took the evening off. Jeremy decided to introduce Luna to his favorite bits of pop culture, and Luna happily complied as they made their way through his soundtrack. “Best video game sound track,” Jeremy commented. “Joel Nielsen is amazing.”
Luna nodded, eyes wide and headphones on. “We should put this in the suit somehow,” she remarked.
"Why?" Jeremy asked, as practical as ever.
"It might give thee suitable adrenaline to keep fighting," Luna answered. This made sense to Jeremy, so he went and found a small speaker and amplifier circuit he hadn't used. He tried to determine the best place to put it inside the suit until Luna placed it in the front, just below the helmet.
“That works too,” Jeremy thought aloud. They tested it, and the sound emanated perfectly from the speaker, reverberating in the helmet as well.
After the video game soundtracks, Jeremy moved on to actual mainstream music. As it turned out, Luna had some of the same musical interests he did, but laughed at others. “Art thou quite sure this is popular?” she chuckled.
“It was fifteen years ago,” Jeremy retorted, and gave a slight laugh. From that, they moved back to video games, as Jeremy played through a few more he liked. This continued for most of the night, only stopping for dinner (yet more quesadillas for Jeremy, and the rest of the salad in the fridge for Luna - he would have complained, but it wasn't like he enjoyed the stuff). After a few more hours on the computer, Luna leaned on Jeremy’s shoulder, half asleep and half out of contentment. Jeremy, after a few uncomfortable minutes of his inner shy and antisocial voice screaming at him to do something, decided to allow it.
9-13-13, 9:02 P.M.
Before they went to bed, Jeremy approached Luna curiously - this had been bugging him for quite some time. “Hey… what's up with your hair? Is it real hair, or what?” he asked, then blushed furiously at the nature of his question. Jeremy hated himself for blushing, as normally he was untouchably emotionless unless around friends. Luna blushed as well, but turned her head, evidently intending for him to touch it. Jeremy examined her hair, which at first sight appeared to simply be a cloud of stars. He poked it with a finger, to find that it parted just like normal hair, and was otherwise regular hair – aside from the fact that it floated and blew as if in some unseen breeze, and glowing stars twinkled in its depths. Luna appeared pleased at the attention.
“We use this style to fit our role as the princess of the night – Celestia adopted a similar style upon adulthood. Our original hair was a light blue, as thou may have seen, and hers was a light pink," she explained. Jeremy nodded in interest, and gave her hair one final, gentle tousling before heading to bed.
9-14-13, 5:14 A.M.
Jeremy tossed and turned in bed. Someone was calling his name, but no one was in his dream - he was alone. The loudest scream yet made him bolt upright in bed, hearing a muffled scuffling and continued screaming. “Jeremy! Help! He-“ Luna shouted, but was quickly silenced. He quickly got up and rushed downstairs, only to see that changelings had arrived through a green portal of their own, and were dragging the unconscious Luna through - she hadn't been shot again, but it looked like she had taken a nasty knock to the head. Ignoring him, they finished pulling her through, leaving the portal open for some reason. For a moment, Jeremy panicked - all he could think was oh god it’s happening it’s happening again what do I do , until he snapped himself out of it and ran into the garage, where they had placed his suit after the testing. Staring at the green, crackling hole in space, it occurred to him that in their time, it was the middle of the day - he'd be as visible to them as they were to him. He hurriedly slipped into his armor, stuffing it over his pajamas. Grabbing his armor and all of his weapons, he shouldered his assault rifle and stepped through the green, spheroidal wormhole.
The transmission appeared to be instantaneous for Jeremy. He arrived in the sunlit square of Ponyville, where changelings were still running rampant. Jeremy ducked behind a building, and took stock of his surroundings. Looking down at his body, he was almost surprised to find it wasn't cartoonish - in fact, it looked about the same. Everything else was equally realistic - no cartoon outlines, perfect three-dimensional 'rendering' and 'shading' - as far as those terms went in what Jeremy presumed was a completely real universe. He peeked out into the square again.
Luna, obviously, was long gone – the five minutes it had taken him to haul his ass over here had cost him any chance of immediately recovering her. Well, he did have a job to do anyway. Jeremy shouldered the assault rifle again. The changelings stood out from their surroundings by being a purple color on infrared, whereas the few ponies that were still running for their lives were a much hotter orange color. As he began firing, all Jeremy could feel was outrage and confusion. What the hell? How did they find us? Did they track Luna or something - how is that even possible if she teleported completely randomly? Finding no obvious answers, he continued dispatching every bit of purple he saw. All the while, he kept up a constant inner monologue: Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.
When he was finished, Jeremy was surprised at the ease at which changelings went down. They had fired back at him, but it mildly stung as opposed to being actual bullet wounds. Of course, they might have heavier weaponry, so he’d have to still be careful. All the while, he had begun constructing a sort of coping method that actually worked quite well. Jeremy imagined he was behind a screen, simply playing another video game. It wasn't too hard - the colors here were unrealistically bright, he had a transparent optical surface right in front of his face, and he had infinite ammunition. After a while, he didn't even flinch as changelings went down - just like that, he'd managed to desensitize himself.
So, where would the civilians be? The changelings probably wouldn't have moved them too far if they were amidst a battlefield, so Jeremy scoped out the largest buildings he could find. All were empty save one, which had a lone changeling hiding in the shadowed doorway. Jeremy examined the building's sign, finding that this was the town jail. Makes sense , he thought, and took out the guard changeling with a well-aimed shotgun blast. Jeremy wandered into the front office of the jail, and opened the door to the cells only to find a literal wall of green sludge, somehow firm. Jeremy took out his steel pipe, glad he had remembered to bring it, and gave the gel a good, solid thwack - the pipe went right through. A few more swings, and he had created a hole big enough to slide through. Entering the cell blocks, he began searching the cells for occupants. Finding none, he continued on. The jail was relatively small, perhaps the size of his house. As he came to the back end of the jail, crammed into just 4 cells were perhaps a hundred green, bulging sacks, each containing a pony. Thankfully, the cells were open – evidently the changelings had planned for many more ponies to be ‘stored’ here. Jeremy took out his steel pipe, and began to swing.
The shock of the membrane bursting open woke most ponies, who had been asleep - possibly due to some effect of the fluids inside the viscous green cocoons. The cocoons themselves broke easily, having only thin membranes stretched over a liquid medium. Twilight in particular was fast to wake, stretching her wings and beginning to thank her savior when she noticed who he was. She immediately shrank back to the wall in fear, as Jeremy stared on. When she had confirmed that he wasn’t hostile, she shakily extended a hoof in greeting. Jeremy, meanwhile, could not think of a single opening word to say – just what did you say to the main character of the story? After a second or two of thinking, he decided to remain mute and shook her hoof, gently gripping so as to not cause her any discomfort.
Some changelings picked that moment to burst into the room, guns drawn. Jeremy almost automatically whipped out his own assault rifle and mowed them down before they could fire a single shot, the speed of his movement causing several bullets to miss and hit the walls before he found his targets. Unfortunately, the other ponies winced from the loud noise. Jeremy frowned. He’d have to be careful about using guns indoors – didn’t want anyone to go deaf, after all. He motioned for the ponies to stay where they were, and gave them the guns of the two changelings he had just rendered unconscious. Twilight hesitantly grabbed one, and with that, Jeremy walked out of the room, continuing on towards Canterlot.
9-14-13, 6:02 P.M.
//{Black Mesa OST – Forget About Freeman}
Youtube Video
What the hell? His suit was playing music. He hadn't even touched the interface - come to think of it, he didn't think there was a user interface. It just... magically played sounds. Luna must have done something particularly weird. Oh well - he couldn't say he wasn't enjoying it.
A few minutes later, Jeremy was moving through Ponyville, gunning down any changelings he happened upon. Twilight hadn't followed, for whatever reason, so he was once again alone. Despite his innumerable advantages, the numbers of changelings and the wide open spaces were starting to wear him down – another thing he had forgotten to mention was that he was no track runner, although long hours of walking rather than taking buses or driving had rendered him much less easy to tire. In fact, he had had an ingrown toenail before the school incident, right up until Luna healed it somehow, so he was rather enjoying being able to walk and run without having to limp or feeling like his foot was being stabbed every time he took a step. Unfortunately, he wasn't so healed that he could sprint long-distance, and resorted to walking or jogging most of the time, keeping an eye out for any changelings who might try to jump him as he tried to pace himself - Canterlot looked awfully far away...
As he traversed yet more of the dusty pathway towards the Canterlot mountain, changelings seemed to pour out of every house and tree he came across, to the point where he was battling six or seven at once. Why were they all attacking him? Was it because he was seemingly the only one able to fight back? His arms began to ache with the familiar pain of firing a gun for extended periods of time, and his whole body was already stinging irritatingly from the small arms fire they were sending his way - although, to be fair, he much preferred this feeling over the feeling of a bullet actually penetrating skin and flesh. Also, he was hungry - he had gotten up at 5 in the morning and his body thought he wanted breakfast.
Scant minutes later, he stood amidst a spectacularly green bloodbath. Twenty or so had decided to engage him at once, and he had to teach them the hard way that he was not to be messed with. Nineteen lay twitching on the floor, and the last remaining one had dropped his weapon and was backing against the wall. For a fraction of a second, Jeremy felt he should let this one go - it was pretty much defenseless, and looked scared out of its mind. A fraction of a second later, he decided against it and pumped the changeling full of lead until it slumped to the floor, the building behind it pockmarked with bullet holes. No mercy. Not today, not ever. And so it went. On and on, Jeremy shot more and more changelings as the music seemingly fit every shot – another enchantment on Luna’s part, Jeremy supposed. He’d have to thank her assuming he made it to her.
//{end}
9-14-13, 7:08 P.M.*
Finally, he came to a train station at the very edge of town, and the music ended. A few trains were still there, the rest having departed and never returned - probably with evacuating citizens. Jeremy examined the train route – it was pointed directly towards the mountain leading up to Canterlot. But how to get it working? He examined the front compartment. Some changelings were there, but already unconscious and bleeding in multiple places. “Well, you sure don’t look like any bug I’ve seen today,” a gruff and vaguely Texan accent greeted him. He looked up to see an earth pony in a leather apron, crowbar in hoof. Jeremy nodded mutely, and pointed up at Canterlot.
Looking at his finger curiously before following its path, the earth pony gave a short grunt of amusement. “Well, newcomer, I ain’t takin ya. It’s a warzone up there, and while I ain’t no coward, I’m not dumb enough to walk inta that,” the pony explained. “If’n ya want to go yourself, I can start the train up for you, but I ain’t taggin’ along - gotta stay here in case anypony else needs a ride.” Jeremy nodded again in agreement. The pony set about starting up the train, which was coal-powered to Jeremy's dismay. However, when it started, there was no sooty smoke to his surprise – perhaps magic had found a way to make the combustion more efficient. The point was, he was on his way that much faster, and Jeremy smiled and waved at the helpful train conductor.
Chapter 4
9-14-13, 8:55 P.M.
The most unsettling thing about Jeremy's day so far, he thought, was that the sun hadn’t gone down yet. Having the sun stay where it was in the sky was weird enough, but it was almost 9 P.M. according to his watch, which he had adjusted earlier on the train to account for the 12-hour time discrepancy Princess Luna had mentioned earlier, and the sun was still blazing overhead as if it were high noon. Perhaps Princess Celestia was incapacitated or otherwise prevented from lowering it? Or maybe it was always like this - Jeremy couldn't quite recall ever seeing a sunset in the episodes he'd watched. He avoided shooting any changelings he spotted along the way, if only because he didn’t want to attract attention - it was bad enough he was on a moving train, but hopefully they'd think he was just an attempted escapee from Ponyville or something. Things were going to be hard enough on the center stage even if he had the advantage of surprise.
9-14-13, 9:17 P.M.
Canterlot was rapidly approaching, the train having already taken the loop up the mountain. As he got closer, a thought occurred to Jeremy, something he felt he should have considered a while ago.
How was he going to stop the train?
Jeremy frantically looked around for brakes. He was in the front of the train, so they should be around here somewhere. Spotting them, he was about to pull them when something caught his eye up ahead. Quickly glancing again, his suspicions were confirmed: The changelings had hastily constructed a barricade to prevent entrance to Canterlot. They were here already? Dammit. Jeremy thought about what to do - he did need to get through, and it didn't look like he had time to go around. Property damage it was, then. He ignored the brake lever, and instead opened the door out of the train car. Blown back by the sudden wind, he struggled his way out onto the space between cars. This was going to hurt like hell. Jeremy took a deep breath, and jumped off the train, twisting his body and landing with a thump, jarring his head against the quartz bubble helmet. For a moment, his vision spun wildly as he bounced and rolled, pain shooting through his body as he slowly came to rest. The sorbothane helped, he thought dizzily as he lay there, unable to move or even breathe from having the wind knocked out of him, but it didn't quite solve that problem . Oh, wow, that hurt . Jeremy took a few heaving gasps as he attempted fruitlessly to get up, mentally punching himself in the face for having attempted something that incredibly stupid. He could have died ! Bet Luna would like that - no honorable death here, just an idiot jumping off a fast-moving train like he knew what he was doing!
The train, still moving of its own accord, had sped towards the barricade... and punched through it, the keen of tearing metal and shattered stone piercing the evening air as the front car crumpled. Jeremy finally managed to get to his feet, still taking deep breaths as he surveyed the wreckage. That oughta wake them up, Jeremy thought grimly. He looked down at himself - the armor was still in pretty good shape, except for a small tear at the base of one of his gloves - Jeremy resisted the urge to pick at it. Thankfully, the rest of the train was intact, so at least he would only have to pay for one smashed train car.
As Jeremy stepped gingerly through the barricade, he considered the chain of events that had lead him to this. Luna barely had to ask, and he had agreed to commit senseless slaughter. Was it because he wanted to protect the admittedly cute little ponies? Well, yes, but he didn't feel like that was the whole reason. Was it because it was Princess Luna asking? While Jeremy considered them friends at this point, he didn’t know what to think beyond that – and was unsure what Luna felt about him. Besides, it wasn’t like he was guaranteed to win or even survive - he was just as likely to die here as in the school incident, if only because sooner or later someone would figure out how to rip off his suit. Jeremy shrugged and got out his shotgun. Maybe he just wanted to die a hero.
The Canterlot streets, much to his surprise, were empty of ponies and changelings alike. Many of the shops interested him, having never been indoctrinated to Equestrian culture where things like ‘Alchemy’ were real business practices. As he passed the streets, several windows opened and then quickly closed, despite no breeze being present. Jeremy would almost have smiled at their tactlessness, but decided to leave the hiding civilians alone.
As he walked onward towards the castle, he became aware of a commotion to his left, the sound of gunfire permeating the air. Jeremy was faced with a choice: Continue to the direct objective, or investigate this? His decision was made for him as he was physically pulled over into the shadow of the alley, to be greeted by what appeared to be Shining Armor. Jeremy checked with his infrared camera – yes, this was indeed Shining Armor. “I’ve heard reports of a lone fighter in Ponyville, and you fit the bill. What are you?” Shining asked. Jeremy decided to remain silent – he didn’t know exactly why, but if humans were mythical in this world, a conversation as such would be a distraction. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re with us. A large group of changelings has taken that building and every occupant hostage, and is threatening to kill them if we don’t surrender.” Jeremy looked out towards the building. On the cobblestone exterior, he could make out the words “Canterlot Day Care.” Fresh rage ignited inside of him, and before he knew it, he had shoved aside Shining Armor and ran straight at the changeling horde, assault rifle blazing.
//{Black Mesa OST – Questionable Ethics 1}
Youtube Video
It was insanity. Jeremy didn’t even feel the bullet impacts, he was so furious. Every single changeling attacked at once, and his rage gave way to barely restrained panic as he punched, shot and hit them off, steel pipe swinging from the hand that wasn’t gripping his assault rifle. The part of him that was still remotely sane wondered if despite the sorbothane padding on his shoulders he would get a bruise in the morning. Still, the changelings were being cut down faster than Jeremy had time to pay attention to. Moreover, his vision was beginning to tunnel, and his hearing began to sound tinny and fuzzy. He guessed he was going to pass out if he kept this up. What a fine way to get yourself killed – get so angry, you pass out right in the middle of a fight. Jeremy attempted to take stock of his surroundings through the haze. There were only a few changelings left, running for their lives as he came after them. As he caught up to the first, he picked it up and slammed it against the nearest wall, instantly knocking it out. He gave the second a blow to the head, continuing with the momentum of his fist until this changeling too was driven to the ground, then shot it up for good measure. The final runner was picked up by the legs, and in true Hulk-style, smashed into the ground on either side of Jeremy – it had gone limp a while ago, whether from fear or unconsciousness.
//{end}
“Holy Celestia,” Shining Armor exclaimed as he came upon the battlefield that used to be the front of the daycare. At least the kids couldn’t see this – the windows had been boarded up prior to the changelings’ invasion, when it became clear they would reach Canterlot. Changelings were strewn about, some looking as though they had been through a trash compactor. Honorable fights were one thing, but this was pure brutality. Shining Armor considered the earlier reports his own sister had given him via teleportation before running off to see how she could help – according to her, this thing had remained perfectly calm before.
Oh my God, they were going to kill little kids , Jeremy thought. It was the only thought his brain could process, for though he was beginning to come out of the white fuzz that accompanied his unbridled, psychopathic bloodlust, he was still out of it mentally. Taking deep breaths and attempting to restore some sense of clarity to his sight and hearing, he leaned against a wall before slumping down into a sitting position, panting with exhaustion and adrenaline. Jeremy felt like he was already dying - he'd walked about a mile, jumped off a moving train, and curbstomped a small army into bloody, unconscious submission. He'd had no food, not even any water, and he was already sweating - the sun was not showing any mercy to his ceramic-plated body armor. A hoof pushed a small thermos full of water into his lap, and Jeremy gratefully pulled off his helmet and drank nearly the whole thing, looking up to see Shining Armor standing there expectantly. "That... was one hay of a job, mister. You okay?" Shining asked. Jeremy weakly nodded, handing back the thermos. Shining took it, noticing his shaking limbs. "Wow, you must really like kids, huh?" Shining joked. Jeremy gave him a small grin, and Shining smiled, apparently glad that communication was working. "But hey, listen. Don't overdo it. I know a lot of soldiers who had to be shipped off halfway through their careers because they burned out a bit too bright," Shining coached, a serious tone to his voice. Jeremy, surprised by the sudden change in conversation, nodded calmly, slowly getting to his feet. He held out a hand, and Shining Armor grimly shook it. "Now let's go wreck the rest of their army, soldier," Shining cheered, and Jeremy grinned as he rejoined the group.
He was only interrupted from this train of thought when his infrared camera picked up something strange. A symbol had appeared on a door – a crescent moon of cold blue, surrounded by a splotch of warmer yellow-red. Compared with the yellow-green of his current surroundings, it made quite a stark contrast on the camera –and Jeremy was sure it hadn’t been there before. He cautiously entered the building, Shining looking at him suspiciously.
As soon as he entered, a counter of the shop lit up blue. An object appeared on the tabletop, and Jeremy quickly switched to infrared version. It was room temperature, and didn’t look too odd. In fact… it looked just like a laser-guided rocket launcher. A very familiar rocket launcher. “Oh man, thanks a million,” Jeremy quietly said as he appraised Luna’s gift, flicking on the laser sights. He stowed it in his suit, still fascinated by the way it disappeared and reappeared whenever he thought about it, and moved on.
An odd thing about Jeremy’s metabolism, in his opinion, was that his weight stayed relatively constant at a lightweight 135 pounds, no matter what or how much he ate. Nonetheless, he was hungry. He might eat something from one of the nearby restaurants, but would have no way to pay for it - try as he might to rationalize it, he'd rather starve than steal. Still, it was about 10 A.M. back home, and he would have certainly eaten something by now. Maybe he could get some rations off the guards? He came back to Shining Armor, who was eyeing him apprehensively. “So... where did you come from?” he asked, evidently trying to make small talk. Jeremy, true to form, remained silent, only giving a small shrug as his answer. No sense shocking anyone with his ability to speak, or his extraterrestrial origins. Even though that didn’t really make much sense, Jeremy was going to roll with being silent as long as he could.
Shining was about to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of a siren nearby. “Under cover! NOW!” he screamed to his troops and a few ponies who had strayed out of their homes to view the carnage. Jeremy followed him to the shelter of a nearby building. “Stranger, stay down. The changelings have sent a gunship over here – and these are much worse than the changeling soldiers. They’re impenetrable, and can fire bullets from afar – we can’t combat these things, only hide as they pass over.”
To Jeremy, that sounded like a hunter-chopper. He looked outside. Sure enough, it was almost helicopter-shaped, although the exterior was covered with the usual brittle, carbonized and pockmarked texture of the changelings. Well , Jeremy thought as he took out the rocket launcher and grimly strode outside. Looks like Luna knows a bit more than me .
//{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 1}
Youtube Video
As soon as it saw him, the chopper made a beeline for him. Jeremy grinned. Good – this would give anyone else a chance to escape while he showed this chopper a good time. He was therefore very surprised when it unloosed a hail of bullets, shattering his confidence faster than it shattered the nanoceramic platelets on his suit. These were bigger than the usual projectiles – these ones very seriously hurt. He shot a rocket back to it, using the targeting laser to guide it around the chopper. After stumbling backwards from the amazing kick of such a weapon and falling over, he got up and shouldered it in what he assumed was a better position and continued leading the chopper away from Shining and his group.
Jeremy was concerned. Despite the infinite ammo (which was surely tiring Luna out something fierce), he had given this thing 4 rockets and it still hadn’t exploded, and the bullets were beginning to get to him - had that last one punctured? He wasn't about to check. At least the music hadn’t had to loop yet – in fact, this whole exchange was going relatively quickly. How to end this quickly? Jeremy had an idea. He fired another rocket, and after going through the usual crazy trail as the ship attempted to shoot it down, brought it up towards the chopper blades. It was a direct hit, and without anything to keep it aloft, the gunship quickly fell towards the Earth, crashing in a spectacular explosion of flying debris. Shining Armor was visibly flabbergasted from his position inside the safety of the nearest building – the citizens were gone, presumably having been evacuated to another safe point, but the military was still there. Somewhat randomly, Jeremy noticed they were all armed with bows and swords – a few guns were present on their persons, but it looked like they weren’t being used. Inwardly, he was cheering - he had just taken down an armed helicopter ! All by himself! Hell yes , he might just actually do this!
Shining opened the door and stepped outside, a congratulatory remark already passing his lips, but before he could finish the siren sounded again – two short bursts instead of one. Jeremy looked up to see two ominous shadows on the horizon, and he certainly wasn't mentally cheering now. He couldn’t distract both of them with the rockets, as when he shot at one the other would obviously attack him. Plus, with bullets of this caliber, he couldn’t be invulnerable forever – eventually they’d break through. It vaguely reminded him of chess. Another thought came to him, no doubt born of an unhealthy liking for gaming. No, absolutely not. He couldn’t use his rocket launcher to blast himself up there, as that was just stupid. He'd die instantly. Do it , a voice said in his mind. What have you got to lose? My life, Jeremy answered mentally. Was the train and the daycare not enough? Was he just suicidal today? The ships got closer and closer, and the voice became more and more insistent. Trust me , the voice whispered, and Jeremy thought it sounded vaguely like Luna. Almost as if to prove a point, the rocket launcher lit up blue again. Jeremy considered this in the second before the choppers arrived. Well, he did have seriously thick sorbothane padding on his shoes, and if he rolled when he landed... Oh, what the hell. “If I die, I blame you,” Jeremy muttered as he pointed the rocket launcher at the ground. In what he thought was the right timing, he jumped onto it like a pogo stick, aimed the back end at the ship, and pressed the trigger, head ducking around the side to prevent being hit by the backblast.
The explosion sent him flying, and part of Jeremy was amazed he hadn’t just exploded himself. The shrapnel from the exploding rocket bounced off of his suit (thanks to the stabproof fabric embedded within), but he could feel the heat wave – another thing to take care of after this would be first-degree burns. He flew up, far too fast for his comfort, and the helicopter loomed closer and closer - Jeremy could just make out a wide-eyed changeling pilot, and had to stifle a grin.
Unfortunately, he had timed his attack incorrectly – instead of overshooting and landing on top as he had planned, he got hit in the stomach by a blade of the helicopter. The suit prevented him from getting anything more than the wind knocked out of him, but he had better recover fast – a fall from this height was almost certainly fatal. Partially out of instinct and partially for convenience, Jeremy grabbed on to the spinning chopper blade, riding it around. He let go, and was flung onto the far end of the ship, just out of the blades’ reach. To his surprise, the second chopper began shooting at the first, with him on top – either these changelings were very stupid, or very anxious to see him dead. As the bullets hit his legs, he screamed in pain, though there was no blood - the suit was still doing what it had been designed to do. In an even worse change of plans than riding the chopper to victory, Jeremy decided to use the rocket launcher while still on top of the first, scoring a direct hit on the blade rotor and sending him reeling backward, tripping backwards over yet another pockmarked hole in the shell of the ship - was it made from changeling skin, or something? The second chopper fell towards the ground, coming dangerously close to the first, which unsuccessfully attempted to avoid it. In a remarkable display of forethought, Jeremy casually stepped onto the second chopper, re-aimed his rocket launcher, and shot at the rotor of the first, though he missed the first time due to his shaky aim and the fact that he was standing on a falling object. The second time, he hit it just enough to bend one of the blades downward, thus stopping the rotor from moving. A blade slammed into the side of the other chopper, and got stuck - there was an ear-piercingly loud wrenching noise, and the blade snapped off entirely. Jeremy shot one more rocket at the opposing windshield as the ship he was on plummeted towards the earth, somehow managing to score a hit despite the chaos. Both gunships fell to the earth in a stream of flaming debris.
//{end}
As they hit the ground, Jeremy unlocked his knees and braced for impact, spreading his body out horizontally and rolling as soon as he landed. He almost immediately smacked against a wall, and lay there upside-down, chest heaving as he gasped for air. Once again, he had the breath knocked out of him, as well as another, much worse feeling - Jeremy thought one or two of his ribs might be broken. The pulse in his ears reached a crescendo, and he blacked out.
Jeremy came to with a groan to see a different unicorn in front of him, his chest glowing the same blue as the pony's horn. "One broken rib, multiple bruises and injuries - it's a miracle it survived at all," the pony grunted to a closely watching Shining Armor. "Yeah, well, whatever it did, it worked - the changelings only had three gunships. With those out of the way, not much should be stopping us from retaking Canterlot." Noticing Jeremy was awake, Shining Armor trotted over and motioned for him to pay attention with a hoof. Jeremy achingly moved his neck the few degrees required to directly look at the unicorn captain, feeling as though that one motion cost him the energy of running a marathon. "Hey. What did I say about burning yourself out?" Shining sternly admonished. Jeremy gave him a weak grin - it was about all he could do at the moment. Shining put a hoof to his face, trying and failing to hide a smile of his own. "Well, whatever anypony says, you've got the luck of an alicorn - I can't believe a land-bound creature accomplished that..." He surveyed the wreckage of the three changeling ships, parts still ablaze. The medic unicorn straightened back up, extending a hoof - Jeremy gripped it tightly as he hauled himself back to his feet, the unicorn wincing from his painfully strong grasp. Jeremy gave him an apologetic frown as he let go, and the unicorn quickly snatched their hoof away and rubbed it. Jeremy considered actually verbally apologizing, but that would require speaking, which would then require a long and very distracting conversation on just how he could speak their language and whether or not he was a changeling after all. Best, then, to stay silent.
Chapter 5
9-14-13, 11:32 P.M.
//{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 2}
Youtube Video
In Jeremy’s opinion, the war was now going pretty well, though he was still constantly getting that feeling of "precisely how the fuck am I alive right now?". They slowly fought their way through the streets of Canterlot, and each time a changeling dropped Jeremy stole the gun and gave it to one of the soldiers. They learned how to use the new weapons fairly quickly, and after a bit of practice were more or less hitting what they aimed at – although no one would give them awards for marksmanship just yet. Jeremy’s only complaint was that the streets of Canterlot were tiny for him – he was barely keeping march with the rest of the entourage, and often found himself shunted to the front or back. They did seem to enjoy the music, though. Changelings came around a corner, guns drawn and voices hissing. To Jeremy’s satisfaction, they were taken out by the guards, who were actually fairly accurate now that they knew how to use the oddly tiny machine guns the changeling forces carried.
They came upon a particularly devastated street, that had a single path through – single-file for the ponies, impossible for Jeremy. He might have been thin enough to make it through sideways, but the helmet certainly wasn't - and he wasn't about to take it off. “This is our only way through, and we don’t have time to look for another one. I’m sorry, stranger, but you’re going to have to find your own way through – we need to see if the royalty has been compromised as soon as possible,” Shining informed Jeremy. Jeremy nodded. Shining put a hoof on his chest, to make sure Jeremy’s attention was fixed on him – a meaningless gesture to Jeremy, as he was already listening. “One last thing – if you see my wife, do what you can to protect her. She’s pink, with the mark of a crystal heart, and has purple and yellow hair. Last I saw of her, changelings were carrying her off to the caves underneath Canterlot. Got it?” Jeremy nodded once more. With that, Shining’s group sped off, presumably straight to the castle, while Jeremy scouted an alternate route for himself.
//{end}
He found one in the form of a lone, intact building. The building was fairly low, perhaps 20 feet high. What’s more, it had plenty of available handholds and footholds in the form of steel decorations. Jeremy was unsure what kind of building this used to be, but at the moment didn’t really care. He climbed on top of it without too much difficulty, and looked at the next street over, which was significantly more open – and devoid of anything living. Did he hear something? Jeremy was almost sure something just grunted in the distance. It’d have to be pretty far off to make such a noise without him seeing it. Besides, he had guns. He’d be fine.
9-15-13, 12:07 A.M.
//{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 3}
Youtube Video
Jeremy carefully climbed down the building, noting the music playing from his speakers. Wasn’t this one of the calmer, wandering tracks? It wasn’t like he selected the music – it just seemed to know when to start, stop and loop. He was almost to the ground when he felt a sudden, small shake, as though a minor earthquake had just occurred. Concerned, he looked around, and nervously returned to climbing down. He was quickly interrupted by a second vibration, and then more. As he dropped to the ground, he heard a massive, earthshaking roar, and fearfully looked up. A single changeling, easily the size of the building he’d just climbed down, had spotted him and was now running at him. After being paralyzed in terror for a full second, Jeremy’s survival instincts kicked in and he started doing just about the only thing he could – run like hell.
As he ran, Jeremy was being extremely distracted. He was hungry. Tired. Yes, scared. Terrified, even, which was an emotion he’d had experience with before but not on this level. The only thing running through his mind at the moment was OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO I STOP THIS THING , and his heartbeat was going so much faster than normal he could've mistaken it for a low-power engine. He ducked through alleyways, small streets, through shops – anything he could find to slow the monster that was after him. However, it was much faster than he was, and crashed through the streets with a callous disregard for the obstacles he attempted to put in its way, as well as anything in its way in general. Finding an open space, he quickly turned around, pulled out his rocket launcher, and fired at the thing. To his relief, it was a direct hit – but the thing shook it off and then continued running after him, seemingly only barely hurt. What the hell?! Jeremy thought. What kind of organism shrugs off a rocket-propelled grenade ?
Jeremy had been sprinting for quite some time now, and was approaching the edge of Canterlot once again - he had been going in the opposite direction of the castle, just to have more room to run. The music was not at all a song for wandering – it had quickly shifted over after the first minute to a very actiony-sounding beat, full of heavy drums and bass. It certainly helped with his adrenaline levels, at any rate. As he ran, not stopping despite the pounding in his chest and the fatigue in his sides, he considered if it was even possible to kill this thing. Certainly it didn’t seem to do much, aside from roar and attempt to crush him with a massive hoof every time it got close. He came to the outskirts of the city – he was running out of room to run, and while the giant changeling didn’t have wings, it could probably improvise. And suddenly, the answer came to him. Strangely enough, it came in the form of a Disney movie – an impossible adversary, and only one viable weapon. Mulan, the time she faced an army of Mongolians, and defeated them all by causing an avalanche. Jeremy looked around. Well, he was on a mountain…
Jeremy pulled out his rocket launcher. Would one rocket even do it? He didn’t know anything about the weak points of a mountain, or how to go about specifically causing avalanches. His deal was chemistry, video games, and guns. Not… this. As he ran up and down the winding cliffsides of the back of Canterlot Mountain, stumbling slightly at a rock nopony had bothered to clear off the path, he looked around. Nothing to either side of him that could help - an overhanging, loosely attached ledge would've been helpful, or maybe one of those Acme boulders. The changeling was right behind him now, and probably about to corner him, but was having some trouble on the narrow path - it compromised by slowly inching its way along the mountain, blocking off his only exit. Jeremy certainly couldn’t use any part of the mountain below where he was, he knew that much. The giant slowed its pace, presumably closing in for the kill. Jeremy did the only thing he could, and looked up. Initially finding nothing, he desperately scoured the mountaintop with his eyes for something, anything that could help him. To his amazement, there was actually something there. An overhang of rock, almost directly above them and what looked to be sixty feet up. Some yellow caution tape, old and fading, was fluttering in a mild breeze. Jeremy took aim with the launcher and fired. The changeling, thinking Jeremy was attempting to hit him, sprang backward, and out of the way, nearly falling off the cliff on its own - but it got up a moment later, presumably angrier than ever. The rocket hit exactly where he had intended, the yellow caution tape incinerated in the resulting explosion, but nothing happened - the mountain shook a bit, but that was all. Hissing, the giant changeling turned its gaze back to him and closed in. Jeremy closed his eyes – he didn’t want to watch himself die. But then, he heard an enormous, rumbling crack – and the overhang dropped, breaking into pieces as it fell. Jeremy spotted one headed right for where he was standing, and nimbly dove out of the way, almost launching himself off the cliff with his own momentum. He desperately scrambled for a hold on the ledge he had just been standing on, finally succeeding and poking his head over the top. The giant changeling looked up, almost stupidly fascinated by the tons of rock bearing down on it, and was promptly smacked in the face by a decently sized chunk. Dazed, it stumbled backwards.
Right off the cliff.
//{end}
Jeremy climbed back up and looked over the edge of the precipice, hardly believing his luck. The changeling was down there, alright – buried under a few tons of freshly broken mountain. It didn’t look like it was getting up soon, possibly ever. Jeremy swallowed, and sat down, taking a few deep breaths as he tried to comprehend what he had just done. He'd just defeated something that was nearly four times his height, with barely a scratch on his body to show for it - sure, he was exhausted again, but he was still alive! Jeremy actually laughed out loud at his luck - this was Superman levels of ridiculous success. He checked over his suit, noticing that the chopper fight from earlier had managed to punch a few holes in the outer layer. This took the edge off his almost maniacal glee at surviving - if a changeling managed to shoot him in any of those places, he'd have an actual bullet wound to deal with. Jeremy stiffened as he remembered he'd forgotten his backpack full of morphine - if he got shot any time soon, he'd be feeling all the worst of it.
He was interrupted after a minute more of ruminating by another huge boulder crashing down next to him, reminding him that this area was no longer safe. He looked up to see if there were any more coming – and then promptly looked left, puzzled. The boulder that had just landed right next to him had gone straight through the ground, and evidently opened an entrance to some cave or something. He was about to leave, and simply note the interesting occurrence, when a familiar hiss came echoing out of the cave mouth. Jeremy looked back at the city, then back into the cave. He took out his rifle, biting his lip and trying to decide. Well, he did make a promise… Reluctantly, he started climbing down into the cave opening.
9-15-13, 12:56 A.M.
//{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 4}
Youtube Video
As Jeremy climbed down, his eyes slowly adjusted, and he became aware of a vast expanse of crystal. In fact, the entire cave itself seemed to be a never-ending network of semi-reflective, translucent facets. The music from his speakers filled the cave, echoing curiously – and to Jeremy, unwantedly. Surprise attacks didn’t work when you can be located by the music you’re listening to. Thankfully, the echoes were so omnipresent they nearly obscured the original source – although he couldn’t count on that. There were a few changelings around the next corner – easily taken care of. Thankfully, the cave didn’t branch off in all directions – in fact, it was fairly linear, as though some unseen force had taken great care to carve out a perfectly faceted crystal path, just for him. Odd.
Jeremy reflected on how common all the gems and gold were here. So far, the quality of the gemstone lining the walls seemed good, and he was tempted to take some of the smaller pieces that had chipped or broken off over the centuries. However, utility won out over fascination, and he decided to leave them be. Perhaps he’d come back for them later. Then again, maybe not – he’d probably forget. His train of thought was interrupted when a changeling shot him in the back of the head, the bullet getting stuck in one of the many air holes drilled out the backside of the quartz dome. Startled, Jeremy returned fire, and the changeling went down quickly. He then turned around to where he had been facing, and kept walking.
This continued for a short while – changelings would attempt to ‘surprise’ him, only to find that ambushes didn’t work very well when one had a bulletproof suit. One even tried to bite him – after it latched on, Jeremy hurriedly shook it off, a panicked expression on his normally still face. The suit was resistant to biting due to the anti-tear fabric, but what else were you supposed to do when something that big tries to take a chunk out of you? He examined the suit for puncture marks. Finding none, he winced at the twin quarter-inch bruises he’d be adding to his collection and moved on. Just as the music was finishing up, Jeremy heard a voice monologuing to itself. Due to the echoes, he couldn’t quite place who it was. He walked towards the area of the cave where it was coming from, seemingly no different than the rest of the place.
//end
“Hello? Is someone there?” The voice asked falteringly. It sounded though she had been crying for hours. In response, Jeremy knocked on the cave wall three times, partly to give her a signal and partly to check if it was fake or some other such trick. To his dismay, it was solid stone. “Are you a friend?” Cadance asked – he could tell who it was now that he was this close, and was relieved to have actually found her. One more promise to mark off the list.
Should he talk? Sure, why not – it’d sound weird considering the sound could only vibrate out the back end of his helmet, but she would probably hear him – plus, there was no one around. “Hi.” Jeremy answered, voice hoarse - he realized he'd only had the one drink of water, and had been exercising all day. “Yes, I’m a friend. Can you hear me?” he asked in return.
“Yes, of course – the stone between us is porous. Can you please get me out of here?” Cadance pleaded. Jeremy considered. He took out his metal pipe, which had been unused in quite a while and was now covered in dry, flaking changeling blood, and whacked the stone wall as hard as he could. Unsurprisingly, the crystalline wall was unaffected. He puzzled over how to get her free for a short while. “Are you still there?” Cadance questioned.
“Yes, just… figuring this out. Is there a space for you to get out of the way of this stone wall? Like, off to the side or something?” He listened as Cadance sounded as if she was shuffling around her confinement.
“Yes, there’s a small niche that I can crawl into. Are you going to break the door down?” she asked.
“Not quite,” Jeremy answered, taking out his rocket launcher and backing away for room.
He fired, and Cadance briefly screamed in terror as the odd crystal wall was blown to pieces, right into her room. Finding herself unhurt, she walked out and bowed to him. “Thank you, kind… stranger?” She had evidently noticed his alien appearance, from his bubble-head and burlap-like suit to his human characteristics.
Jeremy sighed, noticing her discomfort. “Can we just move past the fact that I’m an alien?” he irritatedly asked. After a moment, Cadance regained her composure.
“Of course. Lead on, then.” Jeremy laughed and continued down the direction he had been taking.
“I have no idea where I’m headed, just so you know,” he commented. Cadance smirked, and motioned towards a different cave, somewhat smaller.
"This will take us back to the surface, if I remember right - this isn't my first time down here," she remarked. Jeremy smiled, remembering her initial incarceration back at her wedding - had Chrysalis really used the exact same location to store her in?
A few moments later, they came to an impassable drop. “I can fly across this. What about you, do you have wings?” Cadance thought aloud. Jeremy shook his head, looking around for some kind of solution.
“I’m definitely too heavy for you to carry,” he muttered. “And I don’t have anything to cross with… wait! I might have an idea,” he exclaimed while looking up at the roof of the cave. Stalactites littered the ceiling, huge and dripping occasionally. Taking out his rocket launcher again, he attempted to hit one right above them. It fell down, and the tip snapped off when it hit their ledge. Jeremy hurriedly went over to it, and pushed with all his might – after a split second’s hesitation, Cadance helped. Together, they had just enough strength to push it towards the pit – only to find that it was just barely too short. It toppled down the hole, and Jeremy glared down. “Damn,” he swore. “Thought that would work.”
Cadance searched the ceiling. “Try that one,” she said, pointing it out – it was the biggest one on the ceiling.
“You sure? We could barely manage the last one,” Jeremy noted. Cadance frowned, considering this. While she thought, Jeremy went over to the nearest wall and slid down it. All this lack of eating and ridiculously strenuous exercise was starting to catch up to him… he felt a bit lightheaded again.
Chapter 6
9-15-13, 1:32 A.M.
After zoning out for a bit, Jeremy achingly got up and looked over at Cadance to find her still puzzling how to get him across. Jeremy looked around – maybe stalactites weren’t the answer. Was he sure there was nothing else to get across? He looked over the edge. A few feet down, there was another ledge which led to a wall, thinning out considerably. Patches were missing entirely, gone from years of friction and gravity taking their toll. Jeremy shuddered – it would be instant death if he were to make one mistake there. He looked elsewhere. Nothing of use. “I have an idea, but it’s risky, and you might get a little hurt,” Cadance said, catching his attention.
“Pain is nothing new for me, at this point. What’s your idea?” Jeremy asked, curious.
“While I can’t fly or teleport you across, it would take significantly less magic to launch you across. However, if I aim wrong… you might end up with a broken bone. …Say, do you even have bones?” Jeremy, taken by surprise, chuckled.
“Yeah, we have an endoskeleton. Pretty similar to yours, I’d wager.” Cadance smiled at this answer.
Jeremy curled up into a ball, evidently ready to be thrown. With some effort, Cadance levitated him into the air, and almost passing out herself, managed to launch him. Unfortunately, she had put a bit more into the spell than she needed – Jeremy would smack into the far wall at this rate. He quickly uncurled and twisted around, so that his padded back would hit the wall rather than his slightly less padded front. Thankfully, human backs had significantly fewer nerve endings than human fronts, and all he felt was a jarring thump. He slid down the wall, and rolled as he got to the bottom. After a moment of shock, he stood up. “Good throw!” he yelled across the chasm. Cadance, seemingly exhausted, picked herself up and weakly smiled. She jumped out into the pit, and spreading her wings, easily flew across. After she landed, they looked for an exit.
Cadance looked over at Jeremy. “Hey, are you okay? You look a bit paler than when I saw you first.” Jeremy, zoned out again, took a moment to respond.
“Yeah… I haven’t eaten in a while…A long while,” he answered. Cadance immediately looked sympathetic.
“I’ll find you something when we get up there,” Cadance asserted. Jeremy grinned weakly in thanks. He could feel a migraine coming on, and the hunger pangs just wouldn’t leave. “Say, what do you eat?” Cadance asked.
“Normally, both plants and animals,” Jeremy said, but when he saw the shocked look on her face he quickly backpedaled. “But I’d be perfectly okay with just plants. Whatever you can find, really – I’m not too picky at the moment.” Cadance agreed, and they went back to searching for an exit.
9-15-13, 1:47 A.M.
“Hey, is that a hole in the ceiling, or a trick of the light?” Jeremy asked, pointing at a shining pinprick among the scattered, smaller stalactites that made up this side of the roof of the cave. Cadance examined it.
“Maybe. But how would we get up there? We had enough trouble getting across a pit, let alone through the ceiling,” she responded.
Jeremy frowned. “What if we piled rubble up to the hole entrance?” Cadance shook her head.
“One slip or misfire of that weapon of yours and we’re both buried alive or worse.” She casted about for other potential solutions. “Hey, there’s an old abandoned mining cart track here,” she called over. Jeremy went over to look at it. He examined the track – it was relatively straight.
“You think we could rip this off the floor?” he asked. Cadance nodded, and used her magic to easily lift a section of it off.
“They just come right off, for maintenance,” she explained.
“How do you know?” Jeremy asked curiously.
“I run an empire made out of crystals – mining’s a big part of our economy,” Cadance answered.
They began piling up pieces of track, Cadance lifting them out of their places and levitating them over to Jeremy, who pieced them together on the floor again. Eventually, they had a ladder that was just a bit longer than they needed. Jeremy used a rocket to blast the hole a little wider, and Cadance propped the impromptu ladder up against one corner of the cave floor and the newly created hole in the ceiling. After checking that it was stable, Jeremy quickly scampered up the ladder, and Cadance flew up to join him in the sunshine.
9-15-13, 2:00 A.M.
They looked around. They were just outside the castle wall, in a rocky area. The castle doors were closed, and changelings were audibly inside. Jeremy nodded at Cadance. “Go find Shining Armor,” he said.
“We still have to get you some food!” Cadance reminded him. Oh yeah, Jeremy thought. He had been sufficiently distracted by the ladder-building to temporarily forget his hunger pangs. Thankfully, the area just outside the castle walls was such prime real estate that it was almost entirely devoted to restaurants and shops, so Cadance and Jeremy wandered into the first one they saw – a bakery.
“Sugar, just what I needed,” Jeremy happily commented as he loaded up on cookies and pastries. Cadance raised an eyebrow.
“You seem to have quite the sweet tooth,” she remarked.
“Oh, yeah – these are better than the ones on Earth,” he replied, lost in chocolate chip heaven.
They then gathered some vegetables and fruits from the other assorted shops, Cadance promising to pay for them, until Jeremy was satisfied he had made up for the 2 mealtimes (and sleep) he had missed. The whole process took about 5 minutes, as Jeremy was still pretty hungry and both recognized that they were in a hurry. “Thanks for that,” Jeremy said as he finished.
“You’re quite welcome – I have the feeling you’re going to need the energy,” Cadance said as she left. “I’m off to find my husband – best of luck in your future endeavors!” Jeremy nodded in reply and put his plate back on the counter. He took out his rifle, and strode off in the opposite direction, towards the castle wall.
How the hell was he going to get past this? So far he’d been pretty lax with the rocket launcher, and it occurred to him that it was probably difficult to regenerate the ammo – laser tracking circuits were kind of complex. Plus, it was vandalism – so, no on the rocket launcher. He came up to the wall itself, and examined it closely. It was a solid, smooth wall, so climbing was also not an option. He looked back towards the hole he’d crawled out of. The ladder was still visible, a foot or so poking out of the ground. Jeremy walked over to it, and attempted to pull it over. He gave up after a few tries, panting – way too heavy, and he had a terrible vantage point. Plus, the ground here was starting to cave in from his earlier enthusiasm with the rockets – he quickly stepped off the rocks and back onto the much safer grass. He decided to go over to the door. There was a massive stone door here, also unsuitable for climbing. Jeremy reflected on how difficult it was to invade castles.
So now what? He was pretty much out of options – nothing he could do was safe or stood a decent chance of succeeding. He circled around the wall, annoyed. I didn’t come this far to be stopped by a stupid stone wall , he thought angrily. Still circling around, he came across some trebuchets, easily half the size of the wall and looking as though they hadn't seen use in years - in fact, according to the plaque in front of them, they were actually leftovers from Equestrian wars long past. However, somepony had recently attempted to arm them, the ropes taut and the arm of each contraption bent back. He looked at them again. A plan formed in his mind…
Of course, it would have been tempting to launch himself over the wall with the trebuchet – but whether he would survive such an impact, he was inclined to doubt. Instead, he grabbed a jagged stone from nearby and used it to hack at the rope attaching the arm to the body, eventually severing it. The arm quickly slammed forward, stopping at a sharp angle as the mechanism hit a pre-made stopping point - perfect . Grunting with effort, he then pushed the wheels of the trebuchet so that it was right up against the wall. Finally, he pushed the arm so that it touched the very top of the wall, and stopped a moment to sweat. So, that solves getting up , he thought. But how am I to get down ? Maybe they have stairs ? He got up again and started climbing up the trebuchet.
As Jeremy finally reached the top, he was greeted by two changelings pointing their guns at him and hissing. Jeremy grinned, and gestured for them to go ahead and fire. Without waiting for an answer, he shoved them aside and ran, taking out his rifle. Turning back, he gave them a sarcastic wave before shooting both of them to the ground. He then strode off along the top of the wall.
He didn’t get far before something hit his helmet – this time with enough force to jar it. Jeremy looked around to see a changeling with a long-barreled rifle aiming at him… a sniper! He ducked and wove, seeking cover – it looked like his helmet had a few cracks in it from that last one. A few more rounds came his way, but thankfully didn’t hit him. Finally, there were stairs to the ground, and Jeremy took them three at a time. He sprinted towards the sniper, still weaving and ducking until he was right below them. Taking out his rifle, he greeted the barrel pointing straight down at him with a hail of bullets, causing the sniper to jerk back – and drop his weapon. The sniper rifle clattered down to the floor. Jeremy glanced up at the changeling, who raised his front hooves shakingly in a gesture of surrender. Jeremy neatly picked up the sniper rifle and shot the changeling in the forehead – an easy shot, considering its window was only ten feet up. It slumped halfway out the window, unmoving, and Jeremy shot it again for good measure. He then stashed the sniper rifle in his extradimensional pocket – he wasn’t too good with scoped rifles, but the extra firepower could come in handy – plus, this way the changelings wouldn’t get it back.
Finally, he came to the castle door, a massive decorational piece that was set atop a large flight of stairs. Seeing no doorknob, Jeremy gave a tentative push - the door, being twice as tall as he was, didn't budge in the slightest. He pushed harder, putting his shoulder to the massive construct and grunting with effort. Nothing. Jeremy stepped back and surveyed this, glaring at it in frustration. What next in this parade of constant obstacles...
He walked back around to where the sniper had been, having had an idea. A cart was parked just outside the castle, the label on it endorsing the products inside. Jeremy towed it directly under the window, noting how heavy the cart was - and ponies just lug these things around? - before climbing on top of it. From there, he hoisted himself through the open window, noting and grabbing the modest pile of sniper rifle ammo cartridges the changeling had been carrying. With that done, he wrenched open the door, and finally entered the castle.
His first thought was how incredibly lavish this place was - red carpets, gilded trim on the walls and portraits, and carved statues were abundant. He'd clearly entered into a public section of the castle, but it was devoid of all activity - the only thing that prevented Jeremy from feeling creeped out about the place was the warm sunlight filtering in through the windows.
Turning the corner, he was met by a pair of patrolling changeling guards, guns held loosely in their teeth. Jeremy grinned as he pulled his rifle out and shot them, their startled expressions only serving to amuse him further. His grin slid off his face a moment later as a memory came back to him - a different corridor, just about a week and a half prior, and a very different color of blood coating his clothes. Jeremy viciously shook his head to clear it - the past was dead. He had to keep moving.
A bit further on, he came across something that made him sick to his stomach. A pony corpse was lying in the middle of the hallway, a pool of blood spattered around it. Oh my God , Jeremy felt, trying to quell his rising nausea. He somehow became more aware of his surroundings, as though he'd been wandering through a fantastic dream this whole time and was only just now waking up. He examined the corpse shakingly, trying to find how it had died - to his surprise, he found a spear nearby and a hole through the guard's chest. There were no bullet wounds nor bite marks... Had the guard taken his own life? At any rate, the 'imaginary camera' he had been using was good and properly shattered - he couldn't pretend this was still all a game. Not... not with this in front of him. Jeremy stepped away from the body, shuddering with fear as the full extent of the situation hit him. He was going up against a powerful changeling queen, who had guns, and giant changelings, and airships and God knows what else... Oh, God, he was going to die. That was it, that was all there was to it. He was going to die on an alien planet, probably by evisceration at the hands - no, hooves - of a mad changeling queen. A choked sob made its way to the front of his throat, and he quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard. No... he had to keep going. Others were depending on him, he couldn't afford to feel sorry for himself now...
A particular corridor was deserted entirely, with a piece of paper taped to the wall, the stark white standing out against the beige and maroon of the rest of this wing of the palace. Jeremy read it, frowning as he did so. It read “This way! ~Luna ”, and was stamped with her mark, the ink still dripping fresh. He shrugged and walked down the corridor, wondering if it was simply directions to where she was or another cool new weapon. He was therefore actually surprised when changelings swarmed in from all directions – perhaps forty or so were occupying the corridor, from both ends. Without waiting, they immediately unleashed a hailstorm of bullets, and after a moment’s panic, Jeremy returned fire. The bullets quickly started stinging, and the mob of changelings pressed forward. Furious at being ambushed, Jeremy put away his rifle and took out his steel pipe as they pressed closer and closer…
When he was done, he had a pile of beaten changelings almost halfway up the wall. Many were moaning in pain, and he kicked them until they stopped. He was reluctant to keep hurting them, but he was pretty angry that they’d managed to trick him so stupidly. Also, it was important he show them no mercy, as it might make them think they could exploit his sympathy. He had also gone back to being mute, as he had an idea for when he faced Chrysalis.
Unsurprisingly, the long hallway he had picked led to a dead end. Jeremy took out his rifle once more, this time prepared. As he walked back, his eye was caught by a sign saying “Kitchen”. More food? He could always use a bit more. He walked in, and was surprised by the spacious accommodation. Clearly, this was meant to be staffed by a few tens of people – ponies, he mentally corrected. It had also been abandoned before being used, and to his dismay most of the food stores had been ransacked and ruined already.
He discovered a loaf of bread that was untouched, and bit into it, looking around the room. He found a small, cabinet-shaped indentation in the wall, almost like a chimney with a compartment inside of it and no flue vent. What was this? It was something important, he thought. He looked around, and found what appeared to be an order list from yesterday. He read down the list. “Deliver marzipan cake directly up dumbwaiter to throne room. ” That was it – it was a dumbwaiter! They used to be used in old-fashioned houses to escort items and food around the house conveniently – and this one was just barely big enough for him to fit inside of. Good thing he was pretty scrawny. Plus, he could reach and use the rope from here… But wait, there was a lever just outside of it. Maybe it was automatic? Jeremy crammed himself into the tight space and began readying himself for the throne room – that had to be where Chrysalis was.
Jeremy took the time to reload all of his weapons with full clips, brush off the dust, dirt and blood from his suit, and arrange himself into a comfortable position – he needed to be able to get out quickly. He fidgeted and shoved, until he was in a very cramped but suitable position, and finished the loaf of bread. For a moment, he was tempted to just go to sleep, but he firmly and angrily reminded himself that he had a job to finish. Jeremy pulled the lever, and the dumbwaiter’s cabinet began slowly rising, silently traversing up the secret chimney.
Chapter 7
9-15-13, 2:34 A.M.
//{Black Mesa OST – We’ve Got Hostiles}
Youtube Video
Well, here he was. Final battle – unless something else came up. It’d be hilarious if this didn’t open into the throne room, for instance, or if the throne room was not where Celestia and Luna were being kept. Jeremy briefly reflected on this, readying himself anyway. This was not going to be easy...
As soon as the doors opened, he burst out and quickly began shooting changelings, the muzzle fire echoing loudly in the spacious chamber. Chrysalis, immediately noticing him, shouted at her changelings inside the room to attack. Celestia, Luna, Twilight and her friends were all trapped in the green sacs he had first seen, unable to move. Plenty of high-society ponies were trapped as well, presumably to be Chrysalis’ first victims. Thankfully, all the changelings were at the door, guarding it, so he didn’t have to worry much about aiming until they started flying around the place. He was sure he hit the stained-glass windows once or twice, but they seemed to hold – probably enchanted. Seeing that he was too accurate for flying tactics to work, the changelings instead decided to swarm him up close. Switching to his metal pipe, Jeremy began bashing their heads in – and because this was his last fight, he was executing some truly forceful swipes at their heads and spinal areas. He didn’t even notice the bullets anymore – his entire body had become such a stinging mass of bruises that he doubted he’d ever notice pain again. All he concentrated on was destroying every changeling within reach.
Finally, they had all slumped to the ground, unconscious. Chrysalis sprang off Celestia’s throne and stalked forward, furious. Jeremy remained silent, took out his shotgun, and began firing at her. To his surprise, a green sphere of energy deflected the bullets. Chrysalis grinned in satisfaction, and began firing what seemed like bolts of energy at him. Jeremy was now on the defensive. He ducked and rolled until one finally connected with his foot, and he was blown backwards to the opposite wall. Choking a bit due to having the wind knocked out of him, he ignored the signals from his spine and front and charged forward again, a double-barrel blast exploding out the shotgun and once again hitting the energy sphere. Was it just him, or did it seem to flicker a bit this time? As Jeremy reloaded, Chrysalis managed to connect another bolt of energy, this time directly to the chest, and Jeremy flew backward again, hitting a pillar.
Quickly reorienting himself, he sprang forward off the pillar and issued another double report directly on top of the sphere, which seemed to crack before breaking. He then switched to his metal pipe once more. Chrysalis, visibly furious at losing her protection, grabbed him – she was way stronger than her looks suggested! – and threw him behind her, turning around to face him. There was an audible crack as he hit the wall, and the hostaged ponies gasped as Jeremy slumped to the floor, unmoving. Glasses half off, Jeremy didn’t get up, looking as though he were only barely conscious. Chrysalis grinned again and moved in, presumably for the kill. Jeremy jerked his head up. “Hey love-bug !” he yelled, hoping to startle her.
Miraculously, it worked, and Chrysalis jerked back, a surprised expression on her face. This was all Jeremy needed, and he sprang up and delivered three quick blows to the head with his pipe – one to the left of her face, one to her right, and a final one straight down the middle, each making a wet cracking sound as they contacted her skull. Chrysalis tottered backwards a little, before finally slumping to the floor, down for the count.
//{end}
Jeremy stood there for a moment, his brain still processing what he had just done - he'd just won . He'd defeated Queen Chrysalis! Holy shit, he'd actually won ! After a moment of self-congratulation, he snapped back to reality and noticed the green sacs attached to the ceiling and walls – these he set about removing. As soon as he shot Luna’s off the ceiling, she broke free, and flew down. “Thou hast done it!” she happily exclaimed. With a well-placed rifle shot, Celestia flew down as well, merely nodding at him, a small smile on her face. Jeremy nodded back, and used his pipe to break open Twilight and her friends’ imprisoning spheres of green gel on the floor - these were much easier to destroy, almost as though they had been constructed in a hurry. Just as he broke the last one, Applejack crawling out with a thankful smile pointed his way, his body suddenly decided to remind him that he was exhausted, severely injured, and shaking from adrenaline. All at once. Jeremy slumped forward, blacking out.
9-16-13, 4:22 P.M.
Jeremy woke up in a hospital bed. He looked down at himself. His suit was off, and aside from his dark green pajama pants and white bedshirt, he wasn’t attached to or wearing anything else. Briefly checking, it appeared he was once again fully healed – no bruises, bite marks, blood or otherwise. He didn't feel any pain, although he certainly felt tired - in fact, he was tempted to go back to sleep. He slowly got up, his spine cracking like an artillery cannon, and swung his legs over the side of the bed, surprising himself when he found the floor was only a foot down. Jeremy got up, groaning, and opened the door, crossing the hospital corridor to look through a window.
Outside the hospital, he could see Canterlot. Ponies were out and about, repairing the damage from the invasion or simply socializing outside the destroyed remains of their favorite restaurants or shops. Jeremy briefly wondered what insurance was like here. He stared outside for a little while, and then headed down the hospital corridor to find someone to talk to. He figured he was free to roam, as he hadn’t been hooked up to an IV or saline drip or anything (not that they would have similar enough blood to give him). Venturing downstairs and ducking to avoid the low ceiling, he found a cafeteria with various ponies who immediately stared up at him. Jeremy gave them a tired smile and a brief wave before moving on. He got a fruit salad and peanut butter sandwich before heading over to the lone unoccupied table. This was a common habit for him, unless his best friends were there – talking and eating didn’t mix in his opinion, nor did casual icebreakers with either of the two. To his satisfaction, not a single pony had the courage to head back to his table. After he finished eating, he headed to the front office and asked to check out, as he felt fine. After some reluctance, the pony at the desk agreed, and he walked out the front door, heading once again into the warm sunshine.
Jeremy's initial happiness that he had succeeded in his almost impossible mission of rescuing Luna and saving Equestria diminished when he saw ponies' reaction to him. They shied away, whispering in hushed voices and pointing at him with wide-eyed looks that Jeremy could only interpret as fear. Frowning, he continued walking, unsure of quite where he was going. To be honest, he hadn't thought he would get this far - and now that he had, he had no idea what to make of his life. Judging from the looks, he was probably considered a vicious monster, so staying around was likely not an option - Jeremy could almost see the torches and pitchforks. Plus, he'd come into visual contact of Twilight Sparkle a few times, which near-guaranteed attention from the Fourth Wall that apparently translated this universe's occurrences into a TV show back home - that would not be good. Best-case scenario, he could claim innocence to Hasbro and company, and hope they didn't look into it too thoroughly. As he continued walking, he picked out all the landmarks of the previous day. The hole to the caves. The street where he had met the giant changeling. The street where he had fought off the gunships. The day care he had mercilessly defended. It seemed he was going through the battle in reverse order. Finally, he came to the trainstation, and Jeremy surveyed it for a moment. Did he really want to leave Canterlot so soon? Yes, he decided, he did. No good could come of staying here.
Jeremy felt very out of place as he walked up to the line for buying tickets - and this feeling only increased once he saw the reaction to his presence. Almost in unison, every single pony that had been in line moved out of the way, providing him with a clear path to the ticket booth. Nervously, Jeremy walked forward, and dropped a nod to the pony hoofing out tickets. "I don't suppose I could get passage to Ponyville?" he asked quietly, and the stallion shakingly nodded before shoving a single ticket through the window. Jeremy took it, giving an apologetic look to the booth stallion, and took a seat on a bench. Finally, a train came into the station, and a very familiar conductor shouted "All aboard for Ponyville!" Jeremy smiled up at him, and the gruff stallion did a double take upon recognizing his tall, human form. "Ay, it's you again! You leavin' Canterlot already?" Jeremy nodded, but didn't feel like explaining. He held out his ticket, and the earth pony grabbed it with his hoof, Jeremy watching curiously as the ticket just stayed attached somehow. "Looks good to me - hop aboard!" the train conductor enthusiastically replied, and Jeremy smiled as he got on, ducking through the tiny door and taking a seat on the equally tiny bench. Deciding that these quarters were too cramped for his liking, he made his way to the back of the train, finally leaning off the very end of the last car. Much better, he thought, and watched as Canterlot receded into the distance.
The train ride was uneventful – nobody came out to talk to him, and that was just the way he liked it. Maybe they didn't know he was out here, or maybe they were simply shy like all the others. It didn't much matter to Jeremy - talking meant explanations, and explanations likely meant a mental asylum room with his name on it. Jeremy wasn't too fussed about them buying the whole 'alien' schtick - no, it was the "TV show" part he was worried about. He was nervous that if he talked to someone, he'd slip up and reveal he knew a detail he shouldn't - and, therefore, elected to remain mostly taciturn.
Just an hour later, he got off the train, and realized he was missing his suit - they'd likely taken it off before submitting him to the hospital for treatment. Oh well – birthday present for Luna. He felt bad for leaving Luna without any kind of note or anything, but figured she probably didn’t want to actually get to know him, having just befriended him for use in that war. Or maybe that was just a justification? Jeremy didn’t know. She hadn’t been hanging around the hospital, so she couldn’t have been all that interested. Then again, he shouldn't expect her to simply have waited hours for him to wake up - that would be rude of him. Jeremy continued to cycle and rationalize his thoughts as he re-entered the town, searching for the green portal that would lead him back home.
//{Black Mesa OST – Unforeseen Consequences}
Youtube Video
He traveled the streets of Ponyville, noting that the green, slimy substance that was the hallmark of changeling occupation was still being carted out of the town jail. The sun had gone down a few minutes ago, causing Jeremy to jump at the sudden lack of light. He shook it off and continued. Not far now…
He traipsed out into the square, searching for the green portal. It was right about here... he remembered, looking around for it as though he thought it might have moved. It took a few seconds for him to realize that it would probably have been taken down by the changelings, or even the ponies. Well. Shoot… what now? He aimlessly wandered around the square, trying to think.
//{end}
Jeremy jumped about a foot when Luna’s voice sounded out right behind him. “And what art thou doing out in the cold night?” He turned around to see her casually leaning on a floating dark cloud, hovering about two feet in the air right behind him.
“I… uh… Sorry, I..." Jeremy stammered, all the reasons in his head unable to make their way to his vocal cords.
Luna cocked an eyebrow. “We suppose we should ‘come clean’ – we have been reading thy mind for quite some time now,” she stated. That shut him up quickly. “Do not worry, we did not pry. We only ever listened to what thou had been thinking at the time.” Luna explained. Jeremy relaxed. There were some things he didn’t want anyone to know, let alone Princess Luna.
“So… how did you know where I was when you sent me that rocket launcher?” Jeremy asked in return, as they walked back to the train station.
Luna blushed a little. “We… may have placed a recording circuit in thy infra-red camera when we created it, and it was a simple spell to view the recording a fraction of a second after it happened."
Jeremy thought a bit. “Does this mean you have a video recording of the whole thing?” Luna nodded. “Well, at least I won’t forget anything…” Jeremy grumbled. Princess Luna lit her horn, and Jeremy was temporarily blinded by a flash of light. When he stopped rubbing his eyes and looked around, they were back at Canterlot - more specifically, they were right outside the castle doors.
“Why didst thou run, anyway?” Luna queried, gesturing for him to follow her.
“A few reasons…” Jeremy mumbled. When Luna merely raised an eyebrow at him, he explained. “First, every...pony has been avoiding me - I think they're scared of me, and I'd rather not be chased down with pitchforks and torches any time soon . Second, I... still have to answer for what I did on Earth."
Princess Luna, to his surprise, chuckled. “Pitchforks and torches? My, my, one wouldst think we had not yet been banished to the moon... As for the stares and avoidance, tis' likely due to ponies' having a rather herdlike mentality around strangers- rest assured thou art not special in this regard. ” Jeremy supposed this made sense. "Besides," Luna continued, "thou had just pulled off the equivalent of a one-pony army against the heavily armed forces of Queen Chrysalis - thou wouldst think they would respect and fear such an unmatched alien warrior, yes?"
Jeremy blushed. “Oh, stop. The whole thing was a sequence of my getting stupidly lucky - you saw how ridiculous things got, right?"
Luna rolled her eyes as they went through a network of towers, all very grandiose with flags and gold- and silver-burnished rooftops. "We think thou were more than capable - honestly, cease thy modesty." She stopped at one labeled ‘907’. “But please, stay a while! There is so much we want to discuss with thee, and wouldst thou not like to explore a world decried as 'fictional'?" Jeremy thought for a while, reconsidering his earlier decision to leave as soon as possible.
“Would it be possible to send me back in time or something if I ever need to return home? I don’t want to have ‘disappeared’ for a while… I have friends back there, I don't want to just leave them behind...” he asked, feeling hesitant to ask such an immense favor from her - time travel didn't sound easy, unless you were a certain purple alicorn. But all the same, he already missed Jackie and Sam - they were his besties, his lifeline to sanity. Luna had done an okay job of replacing them for the time being, but he wasn't about to just stop missing them overnight.
Luna, to his surprise, nodded eagerly. “Certainly. The spell is complex, but tis' the least we owe thou for risking thy life.”
Jeremy smiled. “Then sure, I guess I can hang around for a while.”
Luna grinned jubilantly. “Splendid! There is so much we wish to show thee! The gardens, the armory, the royal library... we could visit towns..." she continued to list off increasingly unlikely things, until Jeremy held up a finger. Luna immediately shut up, gazing up at him sheepishly.
"How about we start with something small?" Jeremy answered. She chuckled, embarrassed, and nodded, looking away for some reason.
"In that case… We would very much like to invite thee to a special event tomorrow night. Wouldst thou be interested?” She pulled a brochure out of seemingly thin air and hoofed it to him, looking oddly embarrassed. Was she blushing? Jeremy took it and read - it was some affair involving singing and food, nothing too special. He noticed Luna staring at him expectantly - clearly, she was waiting on an answer. He cleared his throat.
“Hmm. Sure, I guess – I hope it’s not too ‘high-society’ like that Gala - I may have forgotten to pack a tuxedo.”
Luna chuckled. “It is much less formal than that – it’s a night for ponies to ‘let their hair down’, so to speak." Jeremy looked up at Luna’s eternally waving, ethereal hair as they climbed up the stairs to his suite.
“So, does that mean you’re going to make your hair obey the laws of gravity?” He was rewarded by Luna’s delighted laughter. As they stepped into his room, Jeremy noticed the lack of a lock. “What, no security?” Luna nodded.
“We do not have much crime, and it is almost never petty theft. Thou needst not worry about thy belongings being stolen.” Jeremy shrugged, and checked out his bed. It was very posh, and the mattress was huge - he had expected the beds to be tiny here, so this was a pleasant surprise. He sat down on it, and was surprised when it was cool and soft.
“Wow. This is… way better than the beds back home,” he appraised.
“Pegasus down,” Luna explained. Jeremy smiled appreciatively.
“One more thing: Where do I get some clothes? I can’t go around in the same pair of pajamas all day,” he asked.
“What are ‘pajamas’?” Luna asked, and Jeremy quickly explained. “Ah. It should not be too hard to commission new clothing for thee – we will do so immediately. Incidentally… dost thy kind wear clothes constantly?”
Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, there's a big thing against being naked for us humans. Oh, and a word of advice - don't ask Rarity to do this.” Luna nodded in understanding, and summoned a measuring tape. Jeremy nervously stood still as she took his measurements, and tried to ignore the feeling of her magic on his skin - not unpleasant, but odd all the same. Finally, she finished, nodding to herself with satisfaction. "We shall have clothes for thee on the morrow," she informed him, and Jeremy nodded appreciatively. With that, Luna departed, and Jeremy turned around to examine his new quarters. They were relatively furnished, yet oddly sparse, reminiscent of a hotel room. Walking across the room, Jeremy found a placard on one of the tables that read "Dearest Guest - We the Princesses of Equestria hope you enjoy your stay!" and inwardly smiled.
Okay, so he was friends with Princess Luna - at least, he thought so. She seemed friendly with him, but maybe that was just part of her routine as Princess? Still, he was an alien, and she knew him better than anyone else, so he should probably expect to see her often - if only due to diplomatic relations. Part of Jeremy couldn't believe he could think that with any hint of veracity, but here he was - just outside Canterlot Castle, in Equestria, and friends with royalty. Maybe he had died, and gone to heaven - honestly, it wouldn't surprise him at this point. Oh well, better to enjoy it while it lasted instead of questioning it. Maybe now he could finally get around to doing what every card-carrying brony wanted to do - enjoy the sights and sounds of Equestria, make friends with the local populace, all that fun.
As Jeremy took off his clothes and got into the shower, he started humming. Finally, as the hot water crashed over him, the humming gave way to singing “Fireflies” by Owl City – one of the few artists he enjoyed who's music didn't make him quiver with adrenaline. As he sang, he became aware that he was perfectly on pitch, tone, and harmony – in fact, he was singing as though he were in choir. Jeremy was tempted to stop and question this, but decided to roll with it – he didn’t want to spoil it if it was a one-time thing. "I'd like to make myself believe, that Planet Earth turns slowly! It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'cause everything is never as it seems..." he sang, rubbing conditioner into his coppery hair. As he finished, he could've sworn he heard applause from somewhere, and looked around. Hearing nothing, he shrugged and dried himself off with the surprisingly correctly-sized towel provided - was this room meant for minotaur guests?
Chapter 9
9-18-13, 12:37 P.M.
Jeremy woke up in a pile of papers, glasses still askew on his face. His pencil had slipped to the floor, and he adjusted his glasses and rubbed his eyes. As he looked at what he had been sleeping in, his mouth cracked in a faint smile.
Lunch was served in the castle, which was a short walk from where he lived. Thankfully, Equestrian concept of distance was a lot shorter than the human version – which made sense, considering the average adult pony only came up to his waist. Lunch today was, as usual, a myriad of vegetarian offerings of potatoes, fruits, and grains. Jeremy accepted a pancake without comment, and loaded up on various other things.
He returned to his room to find that all his papers had disappeared - what the hell! He poked around for a while, trying to remember if he had misplaced them. During his search, he tripped over a package, and a brief inspection revealed that it was addressed to him. It was large, perhaps two feet in length by one foot square. Who would send him something, and what on Earth or Equestria was it? He picked it up and walked inside, noticing that his room had been tidied up and his papers had been misplaced. Whatever it was, it was heavy – easily the weight of a shotgun, and about as long. It just then occurred to Jeremy that he could find out what the object was by looking at the label – and that he probably shouldn’t be opening the package if it didn’t have one. After some searching, he found a small square of sticky paper bearing a wax seal with a sun and moon coat of arms on it. “To Jeremy – from Luna and the R&D department” was written in extremely fancy, dark purple ink around the sides of the wax seal. Now less suspicious and more intrigued, Jeremy went and found a kitchen knife, and slit the box down the middle and sides so he could fold it open. He opened the box, and for a moment he could only stare at the object embedded within. It was perfect, down to the sleek black-and-white glossy finish. Grunting, he lifted it out of the box and inspected it. The black was seemingly very heavy, but in all other aspects similar to carbon. The white was obviously thick sheet metal from the texture, although it was in turn very light. Aluminum? He hadn't specified what those parts would be made of in his blueprints, finding no need for any specific material. All in all, the gun was disproportionately heavy, if balanced – then again , he reminded himself, containing a miniature quantum singularity was by no means without its gravitational drawbacks . Smiling at the thought he just had, he examined the handle.
This was the only part of the portal gun that was clearly modified – it had been tailored to actually fit smoothly into his hand. Was that in the blueprints? He wasn’t sure – the worldmodels he had looked at featured a simple rod, bent twice to form a sort of square “U” shape. He’d have to check – maybe Luna noticed something he didn’t. After all, the key to the computer she built was shared by both of them – it stood to reason she had tried her hoof at some of the games. Moving on… There were two triggers where the index finger would be, and a small button below that. Jeremy guessed that these controlled the portals and the levitation, respectively. Finally, on the opposite side in the middle of the face of the tube part, there was a small slide switch. Was this the ‘on’ switch? Again, Jeremy wasn’t sure. Oh well – best to try it out anyway. He carefully pressed the lone switch, and the gun flickered to life, claws sliding out from their inward-bent positions and red lights switching on.
So far, so good. Now, to find a surface… Jeremy walked around the room, looking for a roughly human-sized, blank part of the wall. He found it in his own bedroom, just above his bed – a bit of a tough fit, but he could climb if he had to. He took careful aim, and fired the gun. The kick was amazing – it very nearly flew out of his hands, comparable to a shotgun. Almost too fast to see, a blue ball of energy fired out the front end, and hit the wall. In the split second following, Jeremy found himself desperately hoping that it would work. To his relief, the blue portal spread out, even making the appropriate sound before beginning the standard routine of swirling and glowing. Shakingly, Jeremy reached out and touched it, wondering if he was about to get radiation poisoning. To his surprise, the membrane across the portal entrance gave somewhat – he could press it beyond the confines of his bedroom wall, ever so slightly. Something to mention to the build team, then. Now, to find a second surface…
The apartment, both on the inside and outside, was too decorated with differing surfaces to accommodate a second portal. So, he looked elsewhere. From here, he could see the castle – ponies were going about their business. There was a small patch of marble that was unadorned, just on the outside of the castle wall under a window. That would be perfect – it was right above the ground. Taking aim again, he fired. The portal hit the grass, a good distance away from where he’d intended to place it. It took him a few tries, and a few near-misses of the milling populace, but he finally got a second portal placed. He couldn’t quite make out from here if it had opened, though, so he’d have to go back inside.
Walking into his bedroom, he noticed that the portal had indeed opened – and the passersby were staring through it. “Don’t mind me, just testing this out,” he called out by way of greeting. Most shrugged and continued on, but a few stayed to watch. Carefully, Jeremy climbed through the portal. The temperature difference was the most striking – that and he seemed to break some sort of invisible barrier, like a giant soap bubble but a bit thicker, when he passed through. His apartment was fairly well cooled, though Jeremy didn’t know how – there was no A/C, so he was inclined to suspect magic. Here, he had stepped outside directly into the heat of the afternoon. Jeremy looked back through the portal. His bedroom was visible. He put an arm through the portal, shivering at the odd sensation of once again breaking that mysterious barrier. He could only tell it was there because of the odd feeling it caused and a slight light distortion whenever something traveled through. He grabbed the candle-light lamp off of his bed and pulled it through. The lamp traveled through without a problem, and he examined it for any kind of obvious visual defects. Finding none, he pulled the box of matches from the space next to where the lamp was, and lit it. Again, nothing presented itself as obviously wrong, so he snuffed the flame and put both the matches and the lamp back where they were.
The final thing he had to do was – wait. Wait. He heard a very familiar voice… and immediately ran around the castle to stay out of sight. Twilight Sparkle and her usual entourage were walking up the steps to the castle doors, animatedly talking. What was she doing here? Shouldn’t she be back in Ponyville, learning stuff about friendship? Jeremy racked his brains for any reason she would be here. He never did ask Luna what the timeline was – maybe she had seen future episodes? The last episode he knew of was the one where Twilight became a princess, which had plainly already happened, considering her new wings. Speaking of which, she was evidently having trouble – crashing all over the place. Jeremy listened in. They were speaking about the Summer Sun Celebration, which Jeremy was confused by. Shouldn’t that occur on the longest day of the year? On his world, the longest day of the year was usually June 21st or something, marked as the summer solstice. Another thing to ask Luna.
Evidently, Twilight was doing something in Canterlot – Jeremy didn’t think she would drag her friends all the way out here just for flying practice. After her most spectacular flop yet, involving three clouds and a furrow a few feet long, the six quickly ended the practice session and went off towards the castle. Jeremy grimaced. Looks like he’d have to wait before entering the castle. Once he was sure they were gone, he stepped out into the open again, hoping the invisible camera that somehow kept track of all relatively important movements within this universe didn’t pick him up. Not that he could tell. He stopped cold when he realized the orange portal was still clearly visible – he had left it open. Jeremy immediately held up the front end of his portal gun and turned it off. The lights on the gun went out, but the portal was still active, and Jeremy frowned. How the hell did he reset the portals? Something else to work on… He took aim back towards his apartment, searching for any available surface to replace the portal. After a moment’s searching, he remembered that he had already scoured his apartment on the inside and outside for portalable surfaces, and found none.
Jeremy had a thought – he did intend to check in to work today, so why not try for a portal there? Unfortunately, from here he was too low to get a good shot – he’d have to go back to his apartment anyway, so he stepped through the orange portal into his bedroom. Jeremy then walked outside and aimed at the office complex. Nope, still too low – he couldn’t get a shot close enough to the ground to land safely, and didn’t want to risk breaking his legs – his suit with all its sorbothane padding was inconveniently located at the very office he was attempting to reach. He stepped outside his door and walked up the stairs to the next suite – the door was closed, so he didn’t have to worry about any awkward conversations about what he was doing. Finding a suitable spot that he could just barely make out, Jeremy took careful aim, lining up the portal gun as though it were a sniper rifle, and fired. To his satisfaction, he hit about where he had aimed at, although the portal was a few feet up from the ground. Oh well – a few feet was tolerable. Jeremy quickly went down the stairs and through to his bedroom, and stepped through the portal.
Jeremy made his way to his office, and entered. The worktables were strewn with what appeared to be trial experiments for the portal gun – Luna and the rest of the development had evidently been busy. Jeremy looked over these in fascination, reluctant to touch any of them. He went to his desk, where the computer had been moved to. There was nobody present, for some reason - just where was the build team that had supposedly made this sweet gift? Logging in, he supposed he might as well attempt to get some better drawings for some of the game models. Picking a game at random, he found a spot in the map with decent lighting and began to draw…
9-18-13, 9:07 P.M.
It was night when he looked up again. To his surprise, no one had come and gone while he was preoccupied – the lab was exactly as he left it. He left his copious drawings by the computer, logged out, and placed the portal gun next to the computer before locking the door. Things had been looking up for him – by all rights, he should be depressed and suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder given recent events. However, he was in Equestria, had the best girlfriend, a steady job with more pay than he'd ever need, and people thought he was a hero. Oh, and the magical devices certainly helped too. Life literally couldn’t get much better for him. That being said, Jeremy still wondered if there were things he could’ve done better.
One of the things he wondered about was if there was a way to help the changelings. He was sick of them being treated as villains - they were just trying to survive, by all accounts. Plus, he had to admire Queen Chrysalis' way of doing things: Using guns against Equestrians worked very well, considering they’d never seen a firearm before. Where’d she even get a gun, anyway? And turret-mounted helicopters – what ? Where did those even come from? Jeremy suspected he should have a chat with her. Having nothing better to do, he made his way over to do just that.
Jeremy heard she was in the dungeons, but had no idea where to look – the only listing he could find was “High Security Prisoners”, in the west wing. There was no one at the desk to help him – where was everypony? The door to the cell blocks was open, and he hesitantly entered, feeling as though he wasn't supposed to be here. So, assuming that Chrysalis was important enough to deserve such a classification, he went that way.
It took him a few minutes of searching, but he finally found her cell. She was spacing out, staring at the wall until he arrived – she snapped to attention the moment she saw him. “Come to kill me?” she plainly asked. Jeremy just shook his head.
“I was just curious to know,” he started, adopting a bored tone. “Where did you get all of those guns and helicopters and stuff?” Chrysalis, for a moment, looked unsure how to answer.
Then she gave a truly devilish grin. “From you , of course – or more specifically, your kind.”
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Of… course. Why did I expect any different.”
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Is your kind exceptionally warlike?”
Jeremy thought about it. "...Sort of? Hard to explain."
“Well, give it a try, moron,” Chrysalis retorted.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, grinning - banter was always his favorite part of any conversation. “Violence is pretty normalized in our culture, but no one does any sanctioned killing except for the military. Really, the populace is pretty tame,” Jeremy explained.
“What about you?” Chrysalis asked, her voice dripping with contempt on the you .
Jeremy shrugged, a capricious smile coming to his face. “Mm, I don’t know… magic?” he replied, much to Chrysalis’ infuriation.
She growled for a few seconds, before giving over to muttering darkly. “Have you heard? I’m scheduled to have a trial tomorrow,” she bitterly informed him.
“Good – I’m sure the punishment will be fair,” Jeremy said offhandedly. This was partially on purpose – if she thought he was uncaring, he would be. To his consternation, Chrysalis laughed.
“You don’t understand how things work here, do you?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I won’t spoil the surprise – but I know what they have in store for me, and it isn’t pleasant.” Jeremy attempted to think of any possible punishment the Equestrian government could give that Queen Chrysalis would dread.
“…Death?” he guessed. Chrysalis shook her head. “Community service?” he half-joked. Chrysalis’ mouth twitched up in an attempt at a smile, but she quickly suppressed it.
“No. Now run along, human… I have eternity to think about,” Chrysalis sullenly replied, dismissing him. Jeremy frowned, and left, finding he had nothing else to say.
As he opened his door, got into his pajamas (which had been freshly washed), and climbed into bed, Jeremy couldn’t help but feel that something was wrong. Before he could process what it was, he fell fast asleep.
Chapter 10
9-19-13, 3:02 A.M.
Jeremy wandered through the high school, looking perhaps for a new gun or some morphine. Was he hurt? He didn’t remember getting hurt. In fact, he’d had the strangest dream about My Little Pony. He opened a closet door, and walked out into his bedroom, which quickly changed between his Canterlot bedroom and his Earth one. He walked over to his desk and opened a book, which read “Come Outside” in the middle of a bunch of text on physics. Jeremy was suddenly standing outside, and Luna was beside him. She reached out a hoof, and promptly hit him across the face.
“Ow… what… huh?” Jeremy spluttered as he staggered away.
“We need thee conscious in this dream, this is important,” Luna explained.
“I… um… I’m dreaming?” Jeremy asked to confirm his thoughts. Luna nodded, and he looked around. “So, now that I’m conscious…” Luna gestured to his house and the void surrounding it.
“Until thou wake up, thou have full control of thy dream world. But that is not why we are here!” Jeremy frowned.
“Why even are you here? I mean, it was nice to visit, even if I’m asleep, but…” Luna shushed him with a hoof.
“Our sister has been captured by some sort of sentient plant. We are going to see if we can rescue her.” Jeremy whirled around in alarm.
“So, shouldn’t I be waking up? I can’t rescue her if I’m asleep!” Luna motioned for him to let her continue, and he reluctantly did so.
“That is exactly what we are not asking,” she replied. “Do not rescue our sister, or us if it should come to that. Twilight Sparkle should have things well in hoof. We can’t afford thee getting seen, not after what we discussed.” Jeremy shifted from one foot to the other anxiously.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do to help?” he asked. Luna thought for a moment and then shook her head.
“Too risky. Stay in Canterlot, as we are sure Twilight will venture to Ponyville the moment she learns.” Jeremy didn’t like it, but it was sound advice. “We thank thee, this takes quite a load of worry off!” Luna stated, relieved. Jeremy raised an eyebrow – clearly she understood the gravity of the situation… or maybe she was just concerned about him? Luna, obviously reading his thoughts, replied “A little of both. Now, if thou will excuse us, we must attend to the sun and moon in our sister’s absence.” Jeremy shrugged in agreement, and she exited the dream world in a flash of light.
Unsure of what to do, Jeremy wandered around his own dream. He could make things appear and disappear, but if he wasn’t concentrating they went back to what they were doing. The oddest part was, now that he was ‘awake’, it all felt so real. What to do? Jeremy decided to try flying. He took a running leap, and jumped, soaring off into the sky above his home town. Rapidly, the surface below him flickered between suburbs and what appeared to be a cold, gray surface – that was new. As Jeremy came closer to the ground, it flickered again and settled on the other place. He landed perfectly, wondering how he knew how to do so. Where was this? Jeremy inspected the rocky terrain – it appeared devoid of just about everything, except for gray rocks and lighter gray rocks. He looked upward, and his eyes widened.
He was staring at a vague facsimile of Earth – but something was missing. The continents were smaller, the planet seemed either too close or too large, and the shapes of the continents were less defined than in the NASA photos he’d seen. It was clear that he was on the Moon – but what was up with the Earth? Jeremy had thought that dreams were only influenced by his own memories, but these weren’t his. As he looked around, he had a thought – these were Luna’s memories. Somehow, he’d gained access to her memory of banishment on the moon.
As fascinating as being on a moon was, after a few hours Jeremy had to admit he could understand why this was a hell of a punishment. The moon was, after the first few minutes, boring . It wasn’t like he could take soil samples or anything interesting like that, and now that he was in Luna’s memory instead of his own, he didn’t seem to be able to leave – would he have to wake up? Or would he simply never wake up at all? The one fun thing to note was that gravity, like the moon back home, was lower here – Jeremy could jump over tall ledges if he so wished. As he jumped over one such crevasse, the world around him suddenly turned to white.
9-19-13, 7:30 A.M.
Jeremy woke up with a start. What the hell? Unlike his usual dreams, he remembered everything – a side effect of being ‘awakened’, he supposed. He got on his clothes, and stepped outside. And stared.
The sky was split in two – the moon on one side, the sun on the other. Fittingly, the backdrop of the sky was also split between day and night. Ponies who were just waking up were also glancing confusedly, while guards ran around trying to reassure the populace that everything was going to be alright.
Jeremy went back inside to wait until lunch, as well as to stay out of any potential cameras’ sightlines. So what happened? Luna said she was going to raise the sun, and then lower the moon, in that order. Then, Jeremy thought, she must have successfully raised the sun, but was unable to lower the moon before being interrupted and most likely captured. Jeremy gripped the sides of the table. God dammit . He was going to take Luna’s advice and stay put, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He had to do something! He looked out the window towards the thorny mass of black-and bluish-green vines advancing on Ponyville. They looked oddly familiar, like a plant version of a changeling. Hey… that was something to do! He could interrogate Chrysalis as to whether she knew anything or was responsible. It wouldn’t surprise Jeremy if this was some kind of revenge.
He walked off towards the prison, being sure to take back alleys and avoid the streets as much as possible. After taking a few roundabout routes, he arrived, and carefully walked inside. He quickly found Chrysalis’ cell, where she was staring out the barred window. “Oh, it’s you again,” she said without turning around.
“Yep, me,” Jeremy said by way of greeting.
“Did you know Equestria’s being invaded by vines?” Chrysalis asked with the air of one discussing the weather.
“Yeah. Came up here to see if you knew anything, because the vines look awfully familiar,” Jeremy inquired. Chrysalis shook her head.
“No relation to us, or anything we’ve made – although you shouldn’t take my word on it.” Jeremy had to agree with that statement. Chrysalis, as though just realizing something, turned around to look at him.
“…Why do you keep visiting me?” she asked bluntly. Jeremy wasn’t sure how to answer.
“I get bored easily, and your conversations are interesting,” he replied. Hey, it was mostly the truth. Chrysalis grinned.
“Really? Perhaps you’d find me more interesting if you got to know me,” she smoothly remarked.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “As if I’m that stupid – who’s to say you won’t hypnotize me the moment I’m off guard? No, I prefer you behind bars.”
Chrysalis angrily looked back towards the window, and Jeremy casted about for another topic. He found one that would work. “So, I did some research on love,” he casually announced.
Chrysalis slowly turned back, glaring. “And?” Jeremy inwardly smiled; he could tell she was secretly interested.
“Turns out, love magic can be synthesized. You just need the chemical formula for the compounds that send the brain the right signal.” Chrysalis slapped a hoof to her face, an overdramatic response in Jeremy’s opinion.
“You idiot – no one’s ever managed to pin that down, and we probably never will. One of the many, many reasons my changelings are hungry.” Jeremy laughed, and this time it was he who got to drop the bombshell – an extremely pleasant feeling.
“Guess what I know?” he taunted in a singsong voice. To his delight, this shocked Chrysalis into silence.
“You can’t be serious… You’re just a child among your race, how could you possibly know?” she asked disbelievingly. Jeremy smirked.
“We have something called the Internet – among other things, it’s the largest information database available to the public. I was bored one day, looked it up, and found out. Plus, chemistry is one of my many hobbies – so I know the molecular structures as well.” Chrysalis seemed unsure of how to respond. Finally, she hung her head.
“Alright… what do I have to do?”
Jeremy was confused. “For what?” Chrysalis placed her hooves against the bars so her face was only a few inches away from him.
“To get those compounds, you…!” She seemed to be restraining herself from hurling insults at him.
“Well…” Jeremy thought out loud. What did he want from her? He wasn’t the right person to be exploiting others – he didn’t have the stomach or the cleverness for it. Was there something she could do, or should he just give them to her? Oh. No, wait, he had the perfect idea.
“I want you… to do the following,” he started. Chrysalis listened attentively. “One, never invade any other country, ever again.”
Chrysalis raised a hoof like she was in a classroom. “What if some hapless nation invades us?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Then, it’s your call. Rule number two: Changelings are never to drain the love or whatever of other sentient beings – after all, you shouldn’t need to.” Chrysalis nodded in agreement.
“Fair enough – anything else?” she asked, with the air of one who wanted the conversation to end quickly.
“Third? Form an alliance with Equestria, or at the very least a peaceful truce,” he finished. Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.
“…Why?” she asked – not belligerently, but curiously.
“You know how Equestria never loses a fight? They’re basically invincible – fate is on their side,” he said. It wasn’t all of the truth, but it was the truth she needed to know.
“So you’re saying it’s best to never fight them? They can do anything they want?” Chrysalis demanded. Jeremy smiled.
“Not quite, but as long as they're doing good stuff, you should be with them," he answered.
Chrysalis frowned in thought. “For a larvae, you’re awfully prescient about politics,” she observed. Jeremy laughed.
“Please, this is hardly politics. Throw in a few more nations and non-governmental organizations, economic sanctions and civil unrest, and then you’ll have an idea of what we think goes for ‘politics’ back on my home planet.”
Chrysalis chuckled, and then collected herself. “I agree to all of those terms – but what of Equestria’s plans for me? It looks like I’m going to be here for a while, and my changeling army has undoubtedly regrouped at the hive by now.” Jeremy thought.
“Equestrian prison shouldn’t be that bad – I mean, look at this place. Ignoring the bars, you have a comfortable bed, free food, and amenities. Do they even call you trash daily?” Chrysalis confusedly shook her head.
“Ha. See? It can’t be that bad,” Jeremy continued jokingly.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Regardless… when do I get those formulas? A deal’s a deal, after all,” she demanded.
“I’ll give you more than just formulas – if you go through with all that, I’ll build you the machine to do it,” Jeremy proudly announced.
Chrysalis’ eyes widened. “You would do that for me? You are confusing – scant days ago, you were terrorizing my army with a length of pipe and a smile.”
Jeremy shrugged. “The way I see it, if I do this for you guys, you'll hopefully leave the rest of us alone. Otherwise, we would start some ridiculous cycle of revenge. Can't have that.”
They were interrupted by a royal guard coming through. Catching Jeremy’s eye, she coolly nodded before unlocking Chrysalis’ door and magically clamping chains around her wings and horn. “What’s going on?” Jeremy asked.
“Our royal princesses have just gotten back, and Celestia wants to see her immediately,” the guard stated professionally. Jeremy nodded – so Twilight came through. He hadn’t seriously doubted her, but some small part of him always wondered. “Celestia also invited you to this meeting as well – she thought you might be interested,” the guard continued. Jeremy nodded and walked along with them, Chrysalis darkly muttering to herself before getting a jab in the ribcage by the guard.
They entered what appeared to be a conference room, where Celestia and Luna sat. Celestia looked furious; she snarled the moment Chrysalis entered the room. “You must have thought you were pretty clever,” she spat. Chrysalis looked at Jeremy, and he shrugged – he had no idea what was going on. Luna noticed, and looked at him, to which he remained impassive. Celestia used her magic to lift a small paper bag on the table. Taking it out, she revealed a fragment of vine and passed it to Chrysalis. Now that they were side by side, the texture similarities were striking to Jeremy: If he hadn’t known better, he’d say that the vine could have been a severed limb of a changeling. “I’ll ask you once, and only once: Where did you get these, and what did Discord give you for them?” Celestia imperiously demanded.
Chrysalis looked up at her, cold fury in her eyes. “I don’t know what these are. They look similar, that is true, but surely you cannot judge by-“ She was interrupted by Celestia slamming her hooves on the table.
“Do not play games with me! I know you were behind this. Where did you get these?! ”
Now Chrysalis was truly frightened. “I swear, I do not know!” This obviously didn’t convince Celestia. Luna looked nervous at Celestia’s behavior, but wasn’t saying anything. Chrysalis was silent, in fear of inciting Celestia’s retribution. In fact, Jeremy realized, the only one in the room with a free tongue was him .
But as he was about to speak, Celestia pulled out an official-looking scroll. “For royal treason and kidnapping of two princesses, we the royal judge sentence the defendant to Tartarus for eternity in solitary confinement.” She leaned over the table. “Last chance to back out, changeling .” This spurred Jeremy to action, and he interrupted Chrysalis this time.
“What are you doing ?” he asked furiously. Celestia looked at him in surprise, and he continued. “This isn’t a fair trial – this is you throwing a temper tantrum and making a mockery of logical conclusions. I will not stand for this, relationship with Luna or no – this isn’t you, Celestia. Come on, Chrysalis – you’re going home, and that will be that.” At the end of his speech, Celestia was openmouthed in shock.
“But you – you were the one who defeated her in the first place! Surely you must hate her?!” Jeremy turned back to look at her, shooing Chrysalis out of the room with one hand.
“At least I hated her for a reason ,” he coldly replied. “Luna, I’ll be seeing you later tonight – it appears I have to do Celestia’s job and make peace for a change.”
With that, he departed from the room, Chrysalis in tow.
Chapter 11
As they walked through the streets of Canterlot, ponies were unsure how to react to Jeremy leading Chrysalis along. Some whistled, catcalled and jeered; to these Jeremy gave a furious glare until they fell silent. A few royal guards walked by, did double takes, and then walked on – sometimes giving him a conspiratorial wink or smile. What was all that about? Jeremy wondered.
Finally, they came into the office complex. Jeremy reluctantly had Chrysalis enter – if she waited outside, she might well be snatched up again, this time without hope of escape. Chrysalis was silent the whole time, though she was evidently drinking in the sights of the research and development building. He pulled the portal gun off of its place on the desk, still struggling with the weight. “What is that?” Chrysalis asked when he brought it out.
“A shortcut,” Jeremy cryptically answered. He walked out to the nearest cliffside and took aim at the furthest structure he could – it was too far away to make out, but it sort of looked like a clock tower. He pressed the trigger, and a bolt of orange streaked away. Unfortunately, the device didn't light up, so Jeremy assumed he had missed. He tried again, aiming more carefully, and Jeremy thought he saw the orange circle open. He was satisfied when the device lit up orange.
“What did you just fire? Looked like a ball of magic to me,” Chrysalis commented curiously. Jeremy smiled, turning around to aim at the office complex. He fired the other trigger, and the blue portal almost instantaneously expanded on a wall. Chrysalis stared, openmouthed.
"Like I said; a shortcut,” Jeremy replied to her unspoken question.
9-19-13, 12:32 P.M.
Through the blue portal, a brown bunny viewed them, startled for a moment before hopping away. They stepped through, and Jeremy gestured for Chrysalis to lead the way. To his surprise, she began simply walking down the path that led to the forest – maybe they would stray off the path later? He followed, striding down the path to catch up with Chrysalis.
They strolled down the sunlit path, the forest slowly encroaching on the light overhead. Chrysalis looked at him as though trying to hold back something, and then finally burst out “You took out nearly my entire changeling army, all by yourself. You aren’t even affected by our guns, even though they’re supposed to be enormously deadly weapons – on your planet! You even defeated Chitin , the single biggest changeling alive, and now you’re rescuing me? Who are you? What are you?” Chrysalis exclaimed in a confused paroxysm of rage and relief.
Jeremy looked at her. Quick, he had to think of a witty response. Dammit, he couldn’t think of anything! The one time he had an opportunity for a sick one-liner handed to him on a silver platter, and he couldn’t think of a response. Jeremy decided to answer truthfully. “Just some guy… who’s been through a lot,” he replied. Chrysalis grumbled, unsure of how to respond to this.
“So… You mentioned something about a relationship with Luna?” Chrysalis asked, looking at him slyly while changing the topic.
“Yeah, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now – or marefriend and coltfriend? Screw it, we’re boyfriend and marefriend,” Jeremy answered at length.
Chrysalis smiled. “But I thought human culture wasn't okay with that sort of thing - you don't mind the species gap?” Jeremy vigorously shook his head. “The species gap doesn’t make any sense in this context. Who cares if we look different? We’re both sentient, we both consent to the relationship, and really that’s all that matters.”
She was evidently amused by this. “What does your culture think of this, anyway? I've had some interaction with humans before, but they never explained,” she asked. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“They’d think it would be “wrong” – because she looks different. Then again, they do have a reason – humans are the only sentient species on our planet, although a lot of others come close. This leads to us taking a rather supremacist view of our sentience – our species is even named ‘Homo sapiens ’.”
Once again, Chrysalis laughed - Jeremy didn't really think it was funny, but hey, maybe it was just his cultural gap. “So what would you think of a relationship with me?” she asked.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, unamused. “I already have a marefriend, so I don’t need more,” he bluntly stated. Chrysalis looked a little put off by this. They walked on for some time, and even though it was the middle of the day, it was dark enough to be evening. Finally, Chrysalis turned off the path, motioning for Jeremy to follow.
The shade of the trees made Jeremy notice that Chrysalis’ eyes glowed in the dark. He’d once learned the scientific name for this odd feature – tapetus lucidium , it was called, though Jeremy had no idea what the literal translation of that was. Whatever, as long as the path was easy to navigate. Jeremy cautiously stepped out of the way of thorns, nettles, and odd-looking leaves. Chrysalis walked straight through, her exoskeleton leaving her impervious to any of the sharper flora. She was obviously amused by his struggle, and continued to lead him through the thick of the forest.
Finally, they came upon a massive cave. “Here we are, hive sweet hive,” Chrysalis said happily. Jeremy admired the cave: It was remarkably unremarkable, a perfect hiding place for a changeling hive.
“So, where your hive at?” Jeremy asked, peering inside.
“It’s much further in – hope you like the dark,” Chrysalis commented evilly. Jeremy hefted his portal gun, still giving off bright blue light.
“Nah, I’m good,” he drily replied. With that, Chrysalis turned around and walked into the cave.
The cyan light gave the cave an eerie blue glow, and Jeremy began to notice strands of a dark gray material spanning across the walls and ceiling - it looked like... a spiderweb, woven into some sort of fabric. Like a cocoon, he supposed. A really big cocoon... Jeremy nervously glanced around. "Wow. Nice decor," he commented sarcastically, and Chrysalis darkly chuckled. The strands of substance grew more and more prominent, until they took over the cave completely - stepping on the new terrain, Jeremy was surprised to find it was somewhat sticky, and the fibers held together as if glued.
As they went further in, the blue light he gave off was slowly replaced with green, until they came upon a massive expanse, that looked to Jeremy like the entire mountain had been hollowed out. “Damn,” he breathed, looking up at the huge green spheres attached to the ceiling, each the size of a large mansion and connected by more of that strange web-like material. “This place is huge…” He didn’t notice until he looked down again that an entire horde of changelings had gathered towards him, hissing angrily - though they looked tired, and many had bullet wounds. He looked at Chrysalis. She looked back, smug as ever, with an “I don’t know what you expected” look in her eyes. Jeremy jerked a thumb at Chrysalis. “Who do you think rescued her, idiots?” This caused stirring and confusion in the gathering, most of which were staring at Chrysalis for answers.
“Yes, it’s true. It seems he had a change of heart, and is now helping us solve our food problem.” Jeremy nodded. Though the changelings still regarded him with suspicion and in some cases open hostility, they no longer made as though they were about to kill him, which was appreciated – Jeremy had left his suit back at the office complex. He continued examining the hive.
The massive drops of glowing green substance hanging from the ceiling seemed to house the general populace. Changelings could be seen flying from drop-shaped area to drop-shaped area, carrying various items Jeremy couldn’t make out from where he was standing. Closer to eye level, a number of caves led to more housing – possibly for the upper echelons of changeling society, as these were carved out of stone and some were decorated. The cave also extended deep below the surface – but no changelings were occupied down there. In fact, the only thing Jeremy could see down below was a sulfurous yellow cloud of smoke that occupied the whole bottom of the cavern, and smelled bad. Vaguely, he wondered what was down there. Perhaps he’d ask sometime. Jeremy whipped out the portal gun, and tried to find an adequate wall to point it at. Unfortunately, the cave walls were too sloped to allow a portal, and he unsuccessfully tried a few locations before Chrysalis motioned for him to follow her. He did so, and they walked into a cave almost equivalent to a small, modern house back in Equestria or on Earth. The walls had been carved perfectly flat, and there was an open-ended cocoon in one corner, rather akin to a discarded wasp hive but the typical changeling black in color, and filled with what appeared to be some sort of green slime. The room was littered with newspaper articles, most depicting dates and times of important Equestrian events.
"So, before you open that hole in reality and head back... What would you like your reward to be?" Chrysalis asked, a seductive smile creeping onto her face.
"Um... what?" Jeremy asked intelligently.
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. "Your reward. For helping me escape. That's how it goes, right? The big, heroic human saves me from certain doom, and in return I transform into the mare of their dreams and let them live their fantasies?" she rhetorically asked. Jeremy looked at her, horrified.
"Wha - no! No, you don't have to do that for me. I'm not going to ask you for any kind of reward, especially not something like that. Look, just... I'm going to help you. That's it, okay? I don't expect much of anything in return."
Chrysalis stared at him, openmouthed. "You don't... I... what?" she finally asked. Deciding to ignore this, Jeremy hefted the portal gun once more.
Jeremy placed an orange portal on the far wall, over by Chrysalis’ bed, opening to the office complex. “Alright, so I’ll get started on your thing, and try not to get arrested myself. In the meantime, lay low here – according to what I’ve been told, no one quite knows where you live.”
He was about to step in the portal when Chrysalis called out “Wait!” He looked back. “Um... Don’t you want to stay, look around a bit?” she asked.
“Maybe later – this place does seem pretty interesting. For now, I’ve got to go see how many ponies I’ve managed to tick off – I’ll be back some time tomorrow.” Chrysalis nodded reluctantly, and Jeremy stepped through the portal.
He quickly made his way back to his office, unlocked it, and slipped inside, replacing the blue portal right beside his desk. “Also, post a guard here if you can,” he commented to Chrysalis, who had noticed.
“I already have,” she replied, and a changeling with a gun peeked around the interdimensional hole, glaring at Jeremy when it saw him. “Alright, good,” Jeremy remarked, and continued his search.
Finally, he found his suit – a bit rumpled, but it would still work. He struggled his way into one leg, and then the other, finally stretching the top around his head. He neglected to put the helmet on, as he didn’t feel he needed it. Chrysalis raised an eyebrow in surprise at his appearance. “Just in case,” he offhandedly remarked.
With that, he locked the door and walked out into the warm Equestrian evening. He wouldn’t know if it were evening except his rough guess of time – after all, he’d started his trip to the hive around noon, and they had spent quite some time hiking. Jeremy headed back to his room, only to find guards posted around the entrances. Oh, please, he thought to himself. Thankfully, all his weapons were still in the dimensional pocket that came with the suit, so he took out his double-barreled shotgun - might as well look intimidating. Walking out into the open, he gave a smile and a wave to the guards. One, after a moment’s hesitation, trotted over. “You are summoned to the royal chamber for a private conversation,” he read off of a scroll, and the rest of the guards circled around him.
Jeremy sighed. “Of course I am,” he tiredly said. “After all, making peace is clearly illegal.” Some of the guards exchanged looks of mild confusion. Jeremy decided to take advantage of the moment. “Oh – did your royal monarch neglect to tell you? My crime is establishing peace between two nations permanently. Such an offense – it must really get her blood boiling.” If there was one thing Jeremy considered himself good at, it was sarcasm. Without bothering to hear a reply, he confidently walked in the direction of the castle, unloaded shotgun swinging carelessly in his right hand.
9-19-13, 7:06 P.M.
Of course, it was the same meeting room as last time – except Luna was not present. “What happened to Luna?” Jeremy asked.
“She was biased in your favor, so she could not attend,” Celestia sternly answered.
“Fair enough. What am I here to ‘discuss’, then?” Jeremy inquired politely. Celestia stood up and walked over to him intimidatingly – a difficult feat when she was slightly shorter than he was, but she managed to pull it off.
“For a stunt like that, ordinarily you would have been shipped off to Tartarus yourself. But it seems you are rather… resourceful,” she claimed, putting careful emphasis on the last word. “I’ll allow you to try your little love project – but the second it goes wrong, and I am sure it will, the blame will rest squarely on your shoulders.”
Jeremy laughed. That was her threat? “When hasn’t it? Calm down, Celestia – if they try anything, I’ll be the one to stop them personally.” Celestia nodded once in agreement, and opened her mouth as if to say something else. Instead, she closed it and pointed a hoof at the door, signaling his dismissal. Slightly perplexed at her behavior, Jeremy exited the conference room.
Humming cheerfully, Jeremy walked out the door, straight into Luna. Luna dismissed his apologies, instead asking “How did it go?”
Jeremy shrugged. “She said if I mess up it’s on me – nothing I didn’t already know,” he grumbled. Luna wasn’t sure what to say to that, so instead she asked for him to follow her. He did so, and she went up to what appeared to be her private quarters – the door here was marked with a crescent moon, while the door next to it was marked with a sun. Jeremy waited outside until Luna came back with a brochure – the same one she had showed him for that event two nights ago. Jeremy still felt joyfully happy about that night. “What about it? I thought I read it already…” Luna pointed out a part of the text that he had clearly not read enough. “Second Night will take place three nights after the first, and is usually reserved for the partner who didn’t sing last time. I have to sing?” Jeremy asked worriedly. Luna laughed.
“Only if thou want to. Besides, thou art fine at singing.” Jeremy looked at her shrewdly.
“How do you know?”
Luna blushed. “Remember how we can read your mind?” Jeremy still couldn’t get over that.
“Uugh. Was it in the shower ?” Luna nodded.
“We noticed you seemed surprised at the time. Art thou not normally that good?”
Jeremy shook his head. “No, that was very odd. Was that some sort of magic?”
Luna shrugged. “We do not know – it seems there are some enchantments that have been made in our absence,” she replied.
“Hmm. Well, if I can repeat that level of singing quality, I guess I’d be up for it. What about music?” he asked.
“Try wearing your suit to the performance – you’ll find it does more than just soundtracks,” she remarked.
“Works for me,” Jeremy replied. They wandered around the hall for a bit, talking about anything from love magic to plans for magical engineering. From there, the topic turned to the games themselves.
“We have been finding that each of your games has a rather intricate story – are all games like this?” Luna asked curiously.
“They’re supposed to be, so all the good ones are,” Jeremy replied. “Games are stories – they’re just more real than the words on a piece of paper could ever be, and more fun for the listeners than television could ever accomplish.” Luna thoughtfully appraised this.
“We are interested in finding more – perhaps when thou return to Earth, thou can send some our way,” she teased. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
Luna went off to raise the moon, and Jeremy was left alone in the castle. He reviewed the brochure Luna had left with him, as he had managed to misplace the original. As he read down the brochure, he considered what to sing. He had plenty of love songs to pick from, but only one that he truly liked – and hey, the symbolism fit. Choice in mind, Jeremy walked back to his apartment.
Once there, he took out a piece of paper and a pencil. At the top, he wrote “Love Generator v1”, and began to sketch a rough outline. So, how to do this? He consulted the physics books he had borrowed from the library. Skimming through one, Jeremy was disappointed to find that it didn't feature anything about synthesizing chemicals. It did have some interesting sections on enchantment - Jeremy noted the similarities to programming a computer back home. Just give it a set of instructions...
An hour later, he was feeling frustrated. He had drawn up everything he could: How to output the finished love magic, how to filter out the three different compounds and mix them together... but he hadn't come up with a way to synthesize them yet. Jeremy considered the structures he had drawn out from memory onto a sheet of scratch paper. Surely there was some way to do this, right? A thought occurred to him, born of a fleeting memory of a shop in Canterlot. Alchemy was, in fact, a thing here: Could he find something in alchemical research on synthesizing compounds using magic? He decided to go to the library and find out.
"Oh, hello again! You're up a bit late," the librarian greeted as he entered. Jeremy nodded and chuckled - it was what, 11 PM? He had been surprised the library was still open.
"Yeah... I'd like to see if you have any books on alchemy," he asked, and the mare gestured at a shelf on the far left. "Right over there," she pointed, and Jeremy thanked her, heading over to the shelf in question.
"Alchemy for Beginners..." he muttered under his breath. To his surprise, a rough drawing of the Periodic Table was present on the first page, though it was missing a few elements - notably technetium, osmium, iridium and everything after bismuth. Jeremy frowned at that last bit - had they not even invented nuclear chemistry? Interesting. He'd better put the word in to some of their chemists. He continued to skim through the book until he found something interesting: 'Magical Synthesis'. "Any chemical compound can be synthesized given the right instructions. However, the cost of energy to the user becomes more complex as the complexity of the chemical in question increases," he read under his breath. Energy... that was it! Jeremy grinned, and walked back over to the librarian, checking out the book.
Once back at his apartment, he started drawing the new version of the love generator, with all the components listed on the left with labels. Of these, a certain toroidal shape was paid special attention to, Jeremy drawing in notes stating the requirements of heat and pressure, as well as resistance to these two factors. As he worked, he grinned: These ponies would never know what hit them. He was going to introduce this world to cheap, clean, infinite energy: Nuclear fusion.
He drew this and the other components in, and made a rough container around them. Finally, he worked on connecting everything up – this was the hardest part. Once he was satisfied he had accomplished something, he wrote “Work in Progress” across the page in light pencil in case someone attempted to take the papers again. With that, he put them on his bedside table, put the pencil next to them, doused the lamp, and drifted off into sleep.
Chapter 12
9-20-13, 11:54 A.M.
As Jeremy woke up, he looked over to see that the papers were still there, untouched. Relieved, he got some clothes on, and headed over for work, taking the papers with him.
His day at the office was fairly uneventful. Occasionally, a changeling would wander through the portal to stare at his work, at which he stared back until they left. Eventually, the changelings got the memo to not disturb him, and stayed on the other side of the portal. Just in case, Jeremy kept his loaded shotgun on the desk - after all, they might try something. Meanwhile, he worked on some possible designs for the love machine, focusing mainly on the emitter and the power source.
To be honest, he still didn’t trust Chrysalis – her surprisingly honest and straightforward manner with him might be nothing but another ploy to lull him into a sense of false security. Jeremy needed some kind of trump card – something he could pull out and Chrysalis couldn’t outwit. With that in mind, he checked the portal to the changeling hive. Evidently, Chrysalis and the others were out – her personal hive was empty. Good – although mightn’t they be invisible? Jeremy turned on the infrared camera on his glasses and looked around. Nothing, so they likely were out. Just to make sure, he checked under his desk, around the room in the various hiding corners and blind spots, and for good measure he poked his head through the portal to check there.
He was entirely alone. Excellent. Jeremy pulled out a new sheet of paper and began drawing a rough sketch of the same blueprint as before. However, he began messing with the wires, wiring them to all sides of the chassis and insulating each face of the cuboid design from the others. He then placed all of the inner components on the bottom of the device, leaving a significant empty space in the top. This was soon taken up by a rough drawing of a powdery substance, and a small notation “2 Al + Fe2O3” over it. Into this powdery area, he put a long strip which he labeled “Mg” connected to a wire labeled “NiCr”, and connected this to the power source and a magical receiver – it was basically an infrared receiver, but much more long-distance, although the nature of the device prevented it from transmitting any serious power. That was okay, as Jeremy only needed a binary switch. After making a few technical edits for completeness, Jeremy thought about where to hide this blueprint, so that Chrysalis wouldn’t find it. In a drawer? No, that was easily searched. How about his suit – it was looking pretty inconspicuous over there in the corner… Hmm. No, this wouldn’t work – there was no location here that was protected enough. Jeremy did a quick check around for any changelings that might have invisibly wandered into his room, and of course found none. He was beginning to be a little too paranoid…
Just then, he had the perfect idea. He scribbled a note on a folded-in-half piece of paper, saying “Out for errand – be back soon! (Do not touch anything while I’m gone)”. Next, he set off towards the castle.
It was a rare event to see Jeremy outside of his defined quarters – ordinarily he only ventured out for mealtimes and to enter and leave the office complex. Even rarer, he actually entered the castle this time, checking the front door to see if Twilight and her friends were around. Satisfied that they were not, he headed up the stairs to the royal quarters. This was done in full view of Princess Celestia, who’s throne was right inside the front door. Apart from looking at him curiously, she did nothing, and Jeremy gave a casual nod to her as he went upstairs.
It was easy enough to find Luna’s door – all but hers and Celestia’s had numbers on them. He slipped the correct blueprints under the door, and calmly left.
To disguise the true intent of his mission, Jeremy next stopped at a small eatery to pick up a snack – just a small chocolate chip cookie. He had received his first pay from Luna a short while earlier, consisting of an enormously heavy sack of gold coins dropped on his front step. For a while, Jeremy had wondered why no one had stolen it yet – after a cup of cold water and breakfast, he had quickly remembered that theft was pretty much nonexistent in Equestria. Thankfully, food and other such consumable goods were cheap – even so, he was an unusually conservative spender. Long teenage years of having to earn only a few tens of dollars had taught him to save whatever money he had, and he hated asking favors.
Munching contentedly on the chocolate chip cookie, he noticed it was evening – Luna was probably already up and preparing to raise the moon. He was distracted from this by a soft mental laughter. Luna? he mentally queried.
Yes? she answered, surprising him.
…How are we using telepathy? I certainly don’t have that power , Jeremy commented.
But we do , she reminded him. We saw thy blueprint – it is good. We were at first afraid that thou had been taken unawares by Chrysalis’s spell, but we are now assured thou art still thyself . Jeremy wasn’t sure what to say to that – clearly a whole lotta mistrust was going on between parties.
Yeah, I was meaning to ask you about that at dinner. Is there a way to hide my memories of that from outside parties? After all, if you can read my mind, she almost definitely can as well. In response, he got a vague feeling of surprise – on Luna’s end, presumably. Telepathy was weird – he was having a hard time distinguishing her emotions from his.
After a pause, Luna answered. Yes, we can , she affirmed. Jeremy felt a vague tingling in his head – a bit like something was either tickling or mildly electrocuting his frontal lobes. There. Now, no one else but us can access thy mind – not without some serious magical power.
Jeremy smiled slightly, and replied Good. Hey, how long-distance does this connection get? Luna appeared to think for a while.
We do not think there is a limit , she answered. Jeremy noted this in mild surprise, and continued walking back to his office.
To his surprise, when he got back, Chrysalis was lounging about. “Oh, hey Chrysalis,” he greeted as he sat down and opened a game to play. Thankfully, a few years of drama class and an additional few years of high school had rendered him so blasé in attitude that Chrysalis didn’t even notice anything was wrong.
“Hello. So, this is the finished thing, hmm?” Chrysalis said while examining the fake blueprint.
“Yep,” Jeremy affirmed indifferently. He stopped at a particularly well-lit screenshot and began to draw, making careful and light strokes across the blank sheet of paper.
“Pretty well-done… now, if only they’d been willing to give us this technology before ,” Chrysalis angrily spat.
“I don’t think they knew it was there themselves – even though they had all the pieces, I don’t think anyone would have ever thought to put them together.” Chrysalis considered this, but her lip quickly went back to curling in disgust.
“More likely they did, and didn’t do anything – with all those Cutie Marks, somepony was bound to have the idea.”
Jeremy looked up at her, glaring slightly. “Girl, you need to move on . We’re giving you what you want, and letting you off the hook in the bargain – one would think you’d be grateful!”
Slightly taken aback, Chrysalis stared at him for a moment. Then she finally dropped her eyes. “Right,” she muttered darkly. Jeremy grimaced, and paused for a moment to get some particularly specific details down.
“It’s not good to hold grudges,” he finally said. Chrysalis looked at him disbelievingly. “Yeah, I know. Everyone hears that, all the time. But I know from experience. You think your army were the first casualties I ever made?” he asked Chrysalis. Confused by the change of subject, she slowly shook her head. “Right. Before you guys, I had to deal with a bunch of idiot terrorists who thought it’d be a good idea to raid a school. And… I killed all of them.” It had only been a short time, perhaps a week or so since the Incident, but talking about it was still hard for Jeremy. It was probably going to be hard for a long time – maybe even the rest of his life.
Chrysalis was looking at him in an expression of shock. “You humans kill your own?” Jeremy nodded.
“No one else to kill, really – with us being the only sentient species on our planet, eventually someone’s going to want someone else dead. And we made a lot of dumb excuses – the color of your skin, your sexual preference, or even your religion – even though religion’s not really a thing here, so maybe you wouldn’t know what that is? Anyway, getting off topic. Point is, yeah, we’ve been killing each other since our beginnings. Back to the story. So, I killed a lot of people in that week. I don’t even know the full count – I know it was somewhere over 50, and probably closer to 100 – they were evidently expecting full national attention, holding out for weeks or months, or something like that. Heh. Guess they weren’t expecting me.” At that, Chrysalis could only smile. “But at the end of the day, now that I’m home, and safe, and alive – I don’t really hate them. Sure, they tried to kill me, and my friends. And, yeah, at a lot of points they nearly succeeded. But really, they weren’t the ones at fault. Their upbringing was probably at fault – they believed we were evil, and the enemy, and we were responsible or were going to be responsible for the death of something they loved – I didn’t pay too much attention. And, hell, maybe they were right – as far as countries go, America isn’t as high and moral out in the international arena as the civilians think it is. But they were fighting for their ideals, and I was fighting for mine – and I just happened to win.”
Chrysalis thoughtfully considered this, and Jeremy mentally cringed at the thought of what she must be thinking of his long and esoteric tangent. “So… are you saying I shouldn’t blame them for not thinking of it, because they weren’t taught to?” she clarified.
Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. All these ponies have been taught to think of changelings as 'the enemy', as nothing more than love-sucking monsters. So it’s no surprise that they didn’t want to help – they probably thought you would just eat them or something.” Chrysalis made a disgusted face, and Jeremy chuckled. “So, we’re going to change that,” he said. “Give them something to think about – maybe if changelings weren’t so hung up with stealing love, they’d actually be cool to hang with, hmm?”
Chrysalis smiled appreciatively. “And you think this will work?” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“Please. They forgave Princess Luna for the Nightmare Moon incident, they forgave Discord for his shenanigans… I think you’ll do just fine.” Chrysalis’ smile turned into a joyful grin, and in that moment Jeremy truly felt terrible for deceiving her.
9-20-13, 7:02 P.M.
Chrysalis left shortly thereafter, to attend to her “queenly duties”. Jeremy packed up his stuff and took an early leave – he had a bit of time before dinner to practice singing. He could always opt out – but he felt he owed it to Luna to at least try. Suit in hand, he headed for his own home.
When he reached his apartment, he closed the door. He went into the bathroom, and slipped the suit on. Wondering how to switch it to the appropriate song, and then how to generate an instrumental from that, he was surprised when it began doing it on its own. He began to sing along, quietly at first – barely a whisper, really. Then louder. Then, as a smile broke out onto his face, louder.
At dinner, hardly a word was exchanged between him and any other person at the table – business as usual. Besides, the grilled vegetables were delicious and he would not hear a word otherwise. As he put his plates away, Luna approached him. “So, before we submit thy name, art thou in or not?”
Jeremy nodded enthusiastically. “Unless something goes stupidly wrong, I think I got it!”
9-20-13, 10:07 P.M.
The place was just as he remembered it – red, pink and all. He was let in first, along with the rest of the singers, and one such nudged him excitedly. “You giving her a response? Alright, good. Me, I’m pretty nervous, but I think I can pull it off,” he chattered. Jeremy wasn’t exactly calm himself, but he looked the pony straight in the eye.
“Relax, you’ll do fine,” he said, and the pony visibly calmed down. To his surprise, it looked like there were some reporters hanging around the entrance to the stage area – and they were pressing for interviews. A yellow mare in a fancy suit trotted up to him.
“Hi, I’m Starshine,” she said breathlessly. “We’d love to put you in for an interview in the Manehattan Times – are you interested?”
Jeremy was a bit taken aback by her excited manner, and frankly more than a little confused. “…Sure?” he said, not really conscious of what he had just signed up for.
“Great, I’ll see you right here at six o’ clock tomorrow!” she said, and sped off again. Jeremy frowned. He would have to make a note of that. Also, did he just agree to an interview? Ugh. Jeremy really hoped it wasn’t too sensationalist.
Cadance was there, and she smiled at him as he went backstage to wait with the others. Discord gave him an enthusiastic cheering from the middle of the crowd, and just before he stepped out of view, Jeremy mockingly blew him a kiss, to which Discord pretended to blush and fall over. Two could play at that game. Sitting backstage with the others, Jeremy waited.
Finally, it was his turn. Jeremy confidently walked on stage, and right on time, his suit started playing. Jeremy started singing, and caught the eye of Luna, who was so far backstage as to be almost invisible. For a while, all he could perceive was the sound of his own voice and the look on her face – it was almost like the bloodlust he had demonstrated earlier, except this felt really good, and he didn’t feel like he was about to pass out. “Tell me again, was it love at first sight? When I ‘walked by’, and you caught my eye… Didn’t you know love could shine this bright ? Well, smile because you’re the deer in the headlights!” As he looked on, Luna was visibly sniffling – hopefully out of joy, or something. He decided to put it out of his mind and keep singing, and it was as perfect as he could hope for.
Youtube Video
Chapter 13*
Chapter 13
9-20-13, 10:42 P.M.
Jeremy stepped off the stage, and Luna was there instantaneously, returning the hug he had given just a few days earlier as they made their way to the exit, accompanied by the applause of the ponies around them. “That was a beautiful choice of song,” she said.
Jeremy grinned, blushing slightly. “Thanks,” he replied awkwardly.
Luna cocked an eyebrow at him. “’Pepper spray’?” Jeremy laughed.
“Hey, you weren’t exactly raring to make friends when we first met!”
Luna chuckled to that. “What about the last part – something about you being sorry you ever tried?”
Jeremy nervously kicked at the ground. “Well, the meaning behind that is… well… you live for a few thousand years, right?” Luna nodded uncertainly. “Well, I’m going to live for probably about 70 or so more years – and I’m not sure I want you to see me get old and… die, I guess.”
Luna bowed her head. “It has long been a curse of alicornhood, that any partner not of our own cannot outlive us. Well…” Luna appeared to want to continue, but stopped herself.
“…Yes?” Jeremy asked after a pause.
“Nothing,” Luna answered unconvincingly. Jeremy suspected she was hiding something – he’d ask later, when they weren’t in public. As it was, they were standing outside the stage doors, getting ready to leave. It was a cool fall night, and Jeremy was beginning to wish he had a jacket – winter would probably be very cold.
“Hey, you got some time to hang out later tonight?” Jeremy asked.
Luna smirked. “Depends on what thou have in mind.” Jeremy thought for a while. “I don’t know – I guess we could play some games together? Unless you can think of something better,” he inquired.
Luna shrugged, and looked at him with a playful smile. “Then it’s a date,” she said. Jeremy was somewhat surprised – wasn’t that a modern phrase? He said as much, and Luna smiled in response. “We have been studying,” she informed him. Jeremy laughed, and Luna sauntered off, leaving him alone in the streets of Canterlot.
Jeremy made his way back to the office – he intended to stay up late tonight, so he could always do some work while he set up for two-player games. Not that he had many – most of his game titles were solo adventures, as he rarely had the time to play with others. Nonetheless, a few had co-op features, and he wondered how to reconfigure them so that the two could play on one computer, keyboard and mouse. Dammit. He needed someone with magic. Almost as if on cue, Chrysalis walked through her portal. “Hello, Jeremy,” she greeted.
“Hi,” Jeremy said back, and inwardly cursed himself for being so uninterested.
“Did you get mental barriers while I was out?” Chrysalis asked curiously. Jeremy nodded.
“You never know when someone might try to snoop,” he remarked casually. Chrysalis glared at him.
She hung out for a while longer, occasionally making remarks on his other projects and discussing various aspects of changeling life – she was surprisingly informative on the intricacies of sociality in the hive. Chrysalis continued this way for quite a while, until she paused as if in thought. “Have you two done it yet?” she asked. Jeremy froze in the middle of sketching.
“W…what ?” he asked. Chrysalis grinned sadistically.
“You know, had sex. Mated? Whatever the term is for procreation in your species.” Jeremy blushed intensely – this was not at all what he was expecting.
“No, we haven’t done… that… yet,” he falteringly answered.
Chrysalis looked surprised. “Truly amazing, the restraint of that mare – I thought you two had done it a long time ago. I suppose it makes sense, if one considers the courting customs of a thousand years ago…” Unwilling to continue the conversation, Jeremy tried to think of something else to talk about. Unfortunately, Chrysalis was on a roll. “Say, how does procreation even work amongst your kind? I’d assume it works the same as every other mammal, but hey, you’re an alien. Do you even know what a vagina is ? Are you maybe a hermaphrodite? Or-“
Jeremy held up a hand. “Stop!” he said loudly. Chrysalis immediately clammed up. “First things first: Yes, I’m a mammal. Same rules as every other mammal, and I’m biologically male. Second, why are we discussing this?”
Chrysalis laughed uproariously. “I knew I’d get you to crack eventually. Looks like the stone-cold, emotionless alien does have a few conversational weak points…” Jeremy grimaced and slapped a hand to his forehead. The whole thing was Chrysalis trolling him, and he fell for it hook, line and sinker.
“Auuugh. Can you not?” he asked, glaring.
Chrysalis seemed to consider for a while. “Oh, alright – I won’t tease you about it.”
Jeremy issued a terse “Thank you”, and went back to drawing.
Chrysalis suddenly seemed rather uncertain. “Are you… angry at me?” she asked.
“Yeah, a little. I wasn’t expecting that, all right? Plus, I’m still trying to work through the whole ‘sexual relationship’ thing myself,” he mumbled.
“Sorry. It’s just – you two are a fascinating couple, you know that?” she remarked.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It’s probably all over the tabloids – don’t remind me.” Chrysalis chuckled darkly.
“You think Equestria’s the only nation interested in your love life? My entire hive has been clamoring to hear news of what you two are up to.” Jeremy looked at her, alarmed. “Oh, don’t worry – I haven’t been telling them any stories.” He relaxed a bit, and began drawing a dark outline of the sketch, carefully tracing over the lines.
Say, wasn’t he supposed to be figuring out how to do two-player? “Hey, change of subject. You see this keyboard, mouse and computer setup?” he asked. Chrysalis nodded. “Would you have enough magic in you to copy that?” To his surprise, Chrysalis nodded. Her horn lit up green, and a second later there was another computer sitting on the table. Jeremy narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Where did you get that kind of magic? That was a pretty complex object…” Chrysalis pawed the ground guiltily.
“I… may have hung around that karaoke place you keep going to. Please don’t hate me?” she pleaded. Jeremy smiled. For a queen that was almost as dangerous as she was vain, Chrysalis sure was trying hard to stay on his good side.
“Well, as long as you didn’t feed too much, I’ll consider Rule 2 still intact,” he compromised. Chrysalis smiled. Jeremy thought about what he had to do next, and the obvious social convention presented itself. “Thanks, though,” he continued. “That’s going to be really useful in a short while.”
Chrysalis smirked. “Oh, yes. I heard about your 'date'. I should probably leave you to enjoy that – goodbye!” she replied as she stepped through the portal, out of sight. Jeremy sighed deeply, and went back to drawing.
9-21-13, 3:03 A.M.
A few more hours had passed by, and Luna was due to show up any minute. Jeremy kept nervously glancing out the window, wondering when she would arrive. Just then, it began to rain, and a few scant minutes later thunder and lightning arrived on the scene, so loud that Jeremy could have sworn his own building was being electrocuted. There was a knock on the door…
Jeremy walked over and opened the door. There stood Princess Luna, draped in a soaked overcoat and grinning. Jeremy looked outside – the rain was still coming down by the bucket, and an arc of lightning split the sky every few seconds. He looked back at Luna nonchalantly. “You just had to go for the dramatic entrance, right?” he asked teasingly. Luna walked inside, and levitated her coat onto a nearby table.
“Nay, this was scheduled – and we forgot until we were amidst it. No matter, we are here and that is all that matters,” she promptly answered. Luna walked into his office, and was startled by the second computer.
“Yeah, Chrysalis made that. Did you know she’s been hanging around the karaoke place for free love?” Jeremy inquired. Luna’s eyes narrowed.
“Is she expecting more of us? We are, after all, providing her entire kind with a means of food…” Jeremy shrugged.
“According to her, she didn’t feed too seriously – but you’re right, we should keep an eye on that.”
Luna nodded somberly. "At any rate, t'was not necessary - we realized the difficulty of playing 'multi-player' games without multiple computers. So, we hath come up with an alternative proposal: We could play single-player games, and take turns." Jeremy amicably nodded, and started a game. Immersed in the loading screen, he looked up and was surprised to find that they had teleported – he was now sitting on the edge of Luna’s bed, in her room in the castle. The computer had been moved to a drawer opposite the bed, and the keyboard was in front of him on the bed, the cord stretched nearly taut. Luna sat next to him, smiling. “I will never get used to that,” Jeremy muttered, earning a chuckle from Luna. He then stretched into a more comfortable position on the bed, and Luna did the same. Finally, the game was ready to go, and Luna picked up the keyboard.
They played for at least an hour – Jeremy walking Luna through the more difficult parts, and Luna quickly learning the mechanics of the game until she was able to find the solution faster than he was. Throughout the game, Jeremy couldn’t stop thinking of the conversation he had had earlier with Chrysalis – and judging by the looks Luna was giving him, he wasn’t being exactly subtle with his thoughts either. Finally, after finishing her part of the puzzle, she put down her controller and looked at him. “Art thou a virgin?” she asked bluntly, and part of Jeremy wished once again that he could just vanish from the universe. Unfortunately, whatever cardinal forces ruled this one were rather obstinate towards his desire, and he remained existent.
“I, uh… yes?” he answered. Luna rolled over.
“Wouldst thou like us to… fix that?” she asked seductively, flicking her tail. Jeremy blushed intensely, and thought of what to say. There was no possible way to say no – he couldn’t let her down like that. At the same time, though, for all the airs of nonchalance he put up, for all the calm and collected attitude he possessed, Jeremy was still squeamish about the thought of sex with her – or anybody, for that matter. Oh, to hell with it, he decided. Nobody could think worse of him than they did already.
“Y – yes,” he answered, mumbling with embarrassment.
Luna smiled, and her horn lit up. A second later, all his clothes were gone, and Jeremy felt himself blush even deeper – at this rate, one could probably fry an egg on his face. Luna placed a hoof on his stomach, and trailed it down towards his groin – he was already ready to go, judging by the looks of things. He was also far too tense, and Luna rubbed him gently, frowning as she looked up at him. "Please, relax. We shall make this enjoyable, we promise." Jeremy reluctantly loosened up, and Luna blushed as she saw his erection. “Thou art very… gifted in this area,” she said, giggling slightly.
This more than anything snapped Jeremy back to semi-coherency. “Really? I thought all the stallions would be so much bigger than I am,” he commented.
“Their proportions make your size acceptable, and if we say so, slightly on the big end,” Luna mused. “Still…” she began rubbing her hoof up and down the length, beginning to blush herself. Jeremy stayed perfectly still, unsure if he should move. It occurred to him that he should probably reciprocate, and so he began reaching towards her hind legs, stopping when he felt her labia. Luna looked at him, now blushing almost as furiously as he was. Jeremy gave a weak smile.
“I really don’t know what I’m doing…” he said, and gave the area a soft, gentle rub.
Luna, shocked, gave out a quiet moan of pleasure and gave herself over to enjoying his touch. "Oh, it has been a thousand years..." she giggled.
“Wait a minute…” Jeremy said, stopping so he could snap his infrared camera onto his glasses and look around the room.
“What?” Luna asked, concerned.
“I thought Chrysalis might be snooping around – it would be just like her, and she did know we had a date…” he remarked. “Oh well, back to… what we were doing…”
He laid down again, and Luna bit her lip as he resumed stroking her. He stopped when something poked him from down there, and he looked at her vagina, confused. A small, pink something was popping in and out from between the folds – the clitoris, Jeremy presumed. His suspicion was confirmed when he gave it a small rub and Luna cried out in ecstasy. Jeremy raised both his eyebrows. “Wow. I guess I’m doing something right, huh?” he commented, and Luna nodded eagerly. Time to take it to the next step, he supposed. Carefully, so as not to hurt her, he slipped two fingers inside of her. Luna moaned, and twitched ever so slightly.
“This is much better than our hooves…” she panted as Jeremy moved his fingers in and out of her. It was tighter than he expected – her inner walls were clenching around him fiercely. Jeremy grinned, and continued, until Luna squirmed her way off. Jeremy looked at her, confused, and she spread her legs open. “We are… ready for thou…” she whispered, and looked almost as embarrassed as he felt. Jeremy positioned himself at her entrance, and vaguely remembered that this was his last chance to keep his virginity. What an idiotic idea – if there was anyone he loved, it was her, and he wanted her to know it.
Jeremy gently pushed his way inside, eliciting a gasp from Luna despite his attempts to take it slow. As he made his way inside her, her insides clenched and unclenched, and he was tempted to just stay like that – but she needed to feel good too. Jeremy began moving in and out, and he moaned a little himself – he felt like a flood of happiness was dulling his ability to think. “Luna, I… won’t be able to hold out… much longer…” he said haltingly. Luna sat up and kissed him on the lips, and Jeremy was surprised by his first real kiss – her tongue exploring his own with a rigor no amount of battle adrenaline could ever provide. She broke away, smiling.
“Then finish, my love,” she purred, and Jeremy nodded. A feeling of white-hot pleasure roared through him as he came inside her, and they laid on the bed together for a while, simply hugging and enjoying each other’s company.
"Thou art still awake," Luna commented with some surprise.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Jeremy asked curiously.
"Most stallions either leave, or go to sleep at this point," she informed him.
Jeremy gave an unamused glare to some imaginary stallion off in the distance. "Well, I am a human, and humans don't leave their lover's side," he decided, smiling a little as he kissed her on the forehead. Luna hummed contentedly.
After a good half hour of resting there, Luna sleepily whispered “Jeremy?” Jeremy looked at her – he honestly couldn’t tell if she was awake or not.
“Yes?” he quietly replied.
“Don’t ever leave me,” she begged.
Jeremy smiled, and hugged her close to him. “Not ever,” he promised.
Chapter 14
9-21-13, 1:07 P.M
When Jeremy woke up, Luna was still next to him. She had evidently gotten up and moved, presumably to lower the moon, but was trying to make it look like she hadn’t. Jeremy grinned and hugged her closer, and then blushed furiously at the events of the night before. Part of him couldn’t believe he went through with it, but part of him was so glad he did. Luna turned around to look at him, evidently awake and smiling.
"Good morning, my love," she whispered, and Jeremy smiled - those two words sent a pleasurable chill down his spine.
"Morning, huh?" he asked, looking at the clock.
Luna giggled softly. "We should-" she paused a moment to yawn cutely - "should really be asleep right now... Sorry..."
Jeremy tousled her hair. "Not at all. Sweet dreams, my little moon princess..."
He gently wriggled his way out of Luna’s embrace, tucking the bedsheets further up for her before putting his clothes on – they were in a pile in the corner. Well, at least they weren’t gone entirely , Jeremy mused. That would have been bad.
Just as he was about to go, a movement from behind stopped him. "Wait!" Luna cried. "Thou... thou will come back, yes?"
Jeremy leveled his gaze at her. "Of course I'll come back," he answered, smiling gently. "How could I ever leave you for long?" Luna reluctantly nodded, smiling as well, and went back under the covers.
Jeremy left via the front door – Celestia once again said nothing, but was she glaring at him? She was just far enough away that Jeremy couldn’t quite make it out. Oh well, he thought, and left the castle.
The blustery fall air was refreshing to Jeremy, who had been getting sick of the hot summer days. He headed over to his office, joyfully speedwalking up the stairs into his room. Putting on clean clothes, he took the stairs two at a time and speedwalked his way over to the office.
Chrysalis was waiting, and so was a small, nondescript gray cube on the table. “Finally!” she exclaimed. “What kept you wai-“ To Jeremy’s discomfort, she sniffed the air.
Chrysalis then laughed, long and hard. “By the hive, you actually went through with it!” Jeremy was by now fairly alarmed.
“How the hell do you know?” he asked, irritated already. Once she finished laughing, Chrysalis wiped a tear from her eye.
“I can smell all that love on you – it’s positively intoxicating,” she breathed. Unsure what to make of this, Jeremy tugged at his shirt and went over to the love machine.
“So, anyway… might as well explain how this works,” he started. Chrysalis stopped giggling and paid attention.
“Dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are synthesized and mixed together in the right ratio. This is then combined with an artificial magic synthesizer – not anything specific, mind you, just raw magical energy – and the whole thing can be either sprayed as an aerosol, or dispensed as a much more powerful liquid. The feedstock for the synthesis can be anything that contains carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and sulfur – so, air works pretty well for everything but the sulfur, which I bet can be found in that awful-looking cloud at the bottom of the hive,” Jeremy explained. He picked up the device, and stepped through the portal to her hive.
As soon as he arrived, Jeremy became aware of the stench of hydrogen sulfide – perhaps he hadn’t noticed it last time, but the hive had quite a lot of the toxic gas. Thankfully, it was far enough down the central pit that he didn't need to worry about getting poisoned. He went over to the edge of the cave, overlooking the strange pit of yellow-brown gas, and set up the love machine. It occurred to him that he might need a hose – though the synthesis mechanism sucked in gases and solids on its own, the pit was too far down. “Hold on, I need a rubber hose or something,” he said to the gathering crowd of changelings, quickly walking back to the portal. Searching around the room, he finally found a suitable length of rubber tubing, and attached it to the synthesis port. The other end was dropped over the edge, swinging gently just above the sulfurous yellow haze. Jeremy then placed the battery – a special design involving nuclear fusion and water – in its compartment, and turned the machine on. As it began to spew pink vapor into the air, many changelings took a few steps forward.
Chrysalis in particular was entranced, and took a cautious whiff of the substance. “It’s love, all right!” she happily called back to the rest of the crowd, and they surged forward. Jeremy stayed well back, trying to not breathe too deeply. After she had had her fill, Chrysalis walked over. “Why the reservation? Come join us,” she urged. Jeremy shook his head.
“Can’t – at those concentrations, I’d either keel over from ecstasy, or just overdose and die. This stuff’s toxic in large quantities for us,” he explained.
Chrysalis looked at him curiously, and then shrugged. “Your loss, I suppose.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“Now, I believe we had a deal?” he asked. It was now or never - either she'd betray him now, or not at all. To his surprise, Chrysalis nodded, and gave some sort of signal – something like a quiet screech? – to a few changelings who had already gorged themselves. Jeremy went and got his suit on, and a piece of parchment he had drafted up containing the same rules he had outlined to Chrysalis, who was now staring at his suit.
“Why do you need that?” Chrysalis asked. Jeremy shrugged.
“I don’t know, doesn’t hurt to have it.” With that, the group left the changelings to feed themselves.
The group headed out through the portal, and out of Jeremy’s office into the streets. Several ponies gasped and shied away, and after noticing Jeremy at the head of the group, the royal guards who were patrolling nervously watched them. Smiling, Jeremy led Chrysalis towards the castle, her entourage guarding her from all directions.
The trip to the castle was, as usual, a short one. Celestia immediately jumped off her throne, ready to fight the moment she saw Chrysalis, but Jeremy quickly got between them, shotgun in hand. “Enough. Don’t you remember why we’re here?”
Celestia glared at him, and Jeremy glared right back. “I still think this is a horrible idea,” she stated.
“Since when was peace ever a bad idea? Whatever reservations you might have are based on fantasy and conjecture. There is no reason for your two nations to fight anymore, so why should you continue holding a grudge?” Jeremy retorted. The various ponies who had been mulling about their business in the throne room had by now stopped to watch. Celestia grimaced – most of the ponies were nodding in agreement, much to Jeremy’s pleasure.
“Fine, I will hear your terms,” she replied begrudgingly, and Jeremy handed the scroll to her. “These are… interesting. Very well, I accept,” Celestia stated, and signed with a white quill. Chrysalis accepted the scroll back, and summoned an acid-green quill of her own, signing as dramatically as she could.
And with that, it was done. The two rulers shook hooves, each looking the other in the eye and hoping to find weakness. Jeremy stood off to one side, satisfied – it might be a cautious peace, but it was a victory nonetheless.
9-21-13, 5:37 P.M.
Word spread quickly that Chrysalis had agreed to a peace treaty. Strangely enough, word spread just as quickly that Jeremy was involved, and he hoped this wouldn’t reach Ponyville. The last thing he needed was Twilight coming down on him. He grabbed a quick dinner, and headed back to the karaoke place – he did have an interview or something to do, right?
To his surprise, he found that in its off time, the karaoke place was a regular bar. They didn’t serve any alcohol, but they did serve a variety of fruit juices, some of which seemed to be intoxicative on their own. Maybe they were fermented? Jeremy didn’t know, and he didn’t want to try.
The pony showed up quickly, and an additional journalist was there as well. “Glad you made it!” she called out as she approached, and Jeremy nodded in response. “So, as you know, we’re going to ask you some questions, and just try to answer them honestly.” Jeremy nodded again – sounded legit, he thought. He hoped the questions weren’t biased.
They took a seat at the bar, and waved off the bartender. “Alright, question number one: What is your home planet like?” she asked, and Jeremy was surprised by the straightforward nature of the question.
“Er…” he said, unsure of how to answer. Suddenly, he was gripped by an overwhelming surge of anger at his home. “Awful,” he responded.
The interviewer quirked an eyebrow. “Why is that?”
“Well, on our planet, humans are the only sentient species – other species can make tools, communicate both audibly and inaudibly, and some other higher-thinking traits. But we’re the only ones who have all of that. So, what did we do with that advantage?” Jeremy asked rhetorically. “We took over the Earth, made it our own. The population exploded, and in fact, unless we don’t do something soon we’ll be overpopulated. This wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s just the beginning. We also invented the money system… and it was promptly abused by royalty and the upper echelons from a multitude of nations. Whole lotta people died because of that, both from being too poor, and then from being too rich when the poor decided they had had enough. Eventually, we reached a balance where there existed a ‘middle class’ – neither peasants nor lords, and that’s where I come from. There were also a few wars over religion, which is basically a system of beliefs on why the world is what it is. Some people didn’t like some other people’s opinions, and they decided to kill each other for it. Sounds fun, right?”
The interviewing pony – he just remembered, her name was Starshine – was by now thoroughly alarmed, but Jeremy hadn’t nearly had his fill. “Yeah. Religious wars alone have probably killed more people on our planet than any other social conflict. Plenty of other types of wars going on, too – mostly political. One such was over some relatively small island ruler who had amassed a lot of power – in fact, he ruled over a few continents by this point. One such continent was so far away, it was called the “New World” – and compared to the other lands, it had only been officially discovered fairly recently. After murdering quite a lot of the original inhabitants with a combination of “land ownership” claims enforced by guns, and disease, the new occupants of the New World decided they didn’t want an overseas king, or really a king in general, because he was kind of being a jerk. They declared war, won, and that was the beginning of our country, the United States of America.” Starshine was furiously scribbling notes. “It was a great idea at first – a democratic constitution, that could be changed by voting that was equalized both between states and population. If we had stuck to the letter of the law, that would’ve been a pretty sweet place to live.” Jeremy stared wistfully for a while.
“But no, once again, the people in charge had to have their little bonuses. I’m not going to go into all the details of what they did and are doing, but I will tell you what I think is one of the worst. It’s called “gerrymandering” – and it means this: Politicians can redraw the districts that vote for them, to only include their favored voters. They stay on their political perches forever because of this. And no one cares, or even really knows this is happening.” Starshine frowned. “Wow. That does sound terrible.” Jeremy waved a finger. “Believe it or not, I’m still not even done with how horrible our planet is. You see, when America was just starting out, it needed an economy. Turned out growing plants like tobacco and cultivating corn worked pretty well, so they did that. But they didn’t have enough people to do it themselves – well, okay, they did, but not efficiently. So, naturally, the only solution was to exploit the labor of another continent, called Africa. We took hundreds and hundreds of their population, against their will, and imprisoned them to work for life without pay – the birth of the slave industry.”
Starshine was horrified, and Jeremy grimly pressed on. “As if this weren’t bad enough, justifications started to pop up – our darker-skinned brothers were ‘inferior’, or ‘born of the devil’ because their skin color was different. Even after our nation had a civil war that temporarily tore the country in half before the anti-slavery side won, that prejudice lasted through to just a few decades ago, when someone finally protested these ideas. Even then, racism is still around today – but we Americans love to claim that we support ‘liberty and justice for all’, it’s even in our pledge we make to our flag every morning. Not only that, we also held the notion that males were somehow superior – they owned all the property, could punish their wives as they saw fit, and were masters of the house. Girls couldn’t be educated on practical manners until just a hundred years ago, as at the time, what they needed to learn was cooking and cleaning. Only in the past fifty years or so has any progress been made in that direction.” Starshine twirled a quill nervously. “Please tell me that’s everything,” she replied. Jeremy solemnly shook his head. “Nope, although we’re getting there. Let’s see, I’ve covered wealth, race, war, gender… oh yeah, sexuality. How could I forget?”
Starshine was confused. “What’s wrong with your sexuality?” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Remember that ‘religion’ thing I mentioned a while back? One of the more popular one’s book got misinterpreted in a certain spot to say that if someone was gay, or preferred same-sex relationships, they should be killed.” Starshine clapped a hoof to her mouth. “Yep. So, that was what they did up until just a few decades ago, when someone had the brilliant idea that maybe we shouldn’t kill someone for their type of love, and that religion really shouldn’t be enforcing these kinds of rules anyway – as it’s supposed to be about love and tolerance? Not only that, recently we discovered that sexuality wasn’t just limited to gay and straight – there’s a whole spectrum. Now we include bisexuals, who prefer male or female, transsexuals, who don’t identify as the gender they were born with, asexuals, who don’t do sex at all, pansexuals, who have no sexual preferences whatsoever, and a few others that I don’t remember. And of course, some people refuse to accept they exist too – which is an insult in itself.” Jeremy sighed, and breathed deeply. “Okay, I’m done.”
Starshine finished her notes. “Wow. Is there anything at all good about your planet?"
Jeremy considered. "We've made a lot of neat things, not having the use of magic of any type. Stuff like atomic fusion, airplanes - those are basically trains that can fly long distances, there's also motorized vehicles that do the same on the ground, electronics, and a bunch of polymer and materials science. In fact, the last decade or two has seen some pretty amazing advancements in technology, some of which are actually bringing the whole world closer together. Like phones - you can dial in a number and your best friend can answer you from the other side of the planet without a problem. Plus, there's the Internet - basically the largest information database ever created, as well as the social hangout of everyone with a computer these days. Communication is instant, portable, and uncensored - that part's pretty awesome. Really, if humans weren't so caught up with hating one another for various reasons, we'd make for an amazing society - although that's to be expected, I guess. And really, the standard of living as a whole has rapidly increased over the past century - at this rate, in a few decades we might see the end of a few of those prejudices from earlier, hopefully for good."
Starshine finished taking notes, then slipped off the barstool, flicking through them with a practiced hoof. “Well, that alone oughta keep us busy writing for a while – can I see you tomorrow too? We didn’t get to discuss any other questions – I wasn’t expecting quite a long answer….”
Jeremy grinned, slightly embarrassed by the speech he had just given - easily the longest he had spent talking to anyone about such a thing. "Sure. Same time, same place?" he asked, and Starshine nodded. With that, they went their separate ways.
Chapter 15
9-22-13, 3:06 P.M.
Jeremy relaxed in his office, reading the Manehattan Times. His interview had made it into the paper immediately, and he was pleased with the results: They didn’t make assumptions, they didn’t speak for him – it was pretty clean journalism, all in all. Luna had quickly checked in last night to make sure the changeling escapade went well, and he assured her that all was going smoothly. After that, she teleported a single computer back to its original location and left to do her own thing. Frankly, Jeremy couldn’t believe he had just reconciled two bitter enemy nations – then again, a lot of stuff he had done recently was unbelievable. Folding up the newspaper, he cast about for something else to read – the game was still loading, and he needed something to do. His eye fell on the karaoke brochure – not exactly new material, but maybe he missed something? He was beginning to develop an awful habit of not reading important documents.
Much to his dismay, he had indeed missed something – there was to be a third night, where a most-popular newly formed couple would sing a closing song for the crowd. Jeremy rolled his eyes – he wasn’t arrogant, but if he and Luna weren’t the most popular couple, he would be very surprised. Plus, of course the third night was tonight – when else? So, time to think of a song…
Jeremy scrolled through the list of songs he knew – thankfully, Luna had copied over his music files as well. When he or Luna had sang before, the songs had meant something – some subtle symbolism that only they would understand. So, what would compliment her Carly Rae impression and his Owl City? Oh. Oh . Jeremy scrolled down, grinning. Perfect.
The game loaded, and he took out another weapon and began drawing it, pausing a moment to fight off some enemies that had spawned. Jeremy liked drawing weapons, almost as much as he liked making replicas of them. A thought occurred to him: Why didn’t he ever see the design team? Maybe they worked in the morning? He’d have to ask Luna when she showed up – she had promised to meet him tonight, presumably to break the news about the third night. Jeremy sighed, somewhat displeased with his sketch, and set it to the side before starting a new one.
He vaguely remembered he had another interview scheduled – again at six. Then, he had to go to dinner and meet up with Luna, who he’d hang out with until about ten o’clock, when they had to be at the karaoke place. Not only that, he had to finish this drawing – and he was just not getting this goddamn perspective right. Jeremy groaned in frustration, erasing yet more lines.
9-22-13, 5:54 P.M.
A few hours later, he headed back to the karaoke bar for another interview. Starshine was already waiting, ready to go – she led him inside as soon as he arrived. “Wow, our article yesterday was really popular!” gushed Starfire. Jeremy wished he could emulate that enthusiasm – truly, it was something to behold. He smiled in response.
“Yeah, I read it too. Good job.” Starfire beamed.
“Thanks. Okay, so, next question: What do you think of Equestria so far?”
Jeremy smiled – finally, an easy question. “Oh, man. Don’t even get me started – this place is too great to quantize.” Starshine grinned, and Jeremy continued. “The monarchs are nice, they care about the civilians, there’s basically no crime, the education system looks great, the economy isn’t exploited, there isn’t any prejudice, just… I think this qualifies as a utopia back home. It’s amazing!” Jeremy finished, by now openly smiling.
“And yet, there’s plenty of evil along with that good,” Starshine reminded him. Jeremy grimaced.
“Sure. But all the good and evil is so well separated. Back on Earth, there’s almost no one you can point at and say ‘They’re good’ or ‘They’re bad’ because everyone is just so morally gray. They have some good morals, some bad ones, and a whole lot of neutral ones. Here, you can tell when someone’s evil – it’s really obvious.”
Starshine searched her papers for another question to ask, evidently pleased by his answer. “Okay, last question for the day. What do you think of Princess Luna?” Jeremy laughed.
“Is this a setup? Is she going to burst down the door if I don’t answer correctly?” he joked. Starshine laughed along with him. After settling down, Jeremy actually answered the question. “She’s… intelligent, funny, cute, everything I could possibly ask for in a girl and so much more.”
Starshine smiled at this, writing more notes. “Nice. Anything else you want to say?”
Jeremy considered for a while. “Not really.” And with that, Starshine and her assistant gathered up their notes.
“That’s all we have for a while – if we find any other questions, we’ll find you.” Jeremy nodded, and the two groups left.
Jeremy walked over to the castle for dinner. He was rather pleased about this interview – it wasn’t so harsh as the last one. He took a seat in the royal dining hall, and waited for the meal to be served. Luna quickly arrived, and sat next to him – this was unusual, as typically the princesses were situated at the end of the table. “Hey,” he greeted.
“Hello,” Luna jovially replied. The course was served – it appeared to be some sort of cooked salad? Jeremy shrugged and tried it. It was good, as always – the cuisine here defied all his expectations. Ordinarily he was a bit nervous about eating with the upper echelons of society – all that stereotyping about the plethora of utensils was true here. However, Jeremy was usually able to guess what each one was for, and asked if he had no idea. As for manners, he did try somewhat, though he rarely thought others were impressed with his table skills.
They finished dinner, and Jeremy and Luna walked out, heading up to her room. “Welp, we’ve got time to kill before the third karaoke night,” Jeremy mentioned. Luna looked at him askance.
“So thou actually read about that. Good, we were hoping not to break the news a third time.” Jeremy chuckled.
“I plan ahead. Sometimes.” Luna laughed in response, and opened her door.
They relaxed on the bed, playing through a singleplayer campaign. Although his job was fun, Jeremy reflected, it was nice to actually just play games every once in a while. Luna seemed utterly at ease, stretching and watching the screen. As the next level loaded, Jeremy handed the keyboard over to Luna, as they were switching every level. Jeremy watched for a while, sleepy, and put his hand on Luna’s side, gently rubbing it. She seemed a bit startled, but a moment later allowed him to continue. A moment later, she had paused the game and was laying on her back, evidently in ecstasy. “How art thou doing that?” she asked. Jeremy very seriously wanted to laugh – it seemed ponies were especially weak to belly rubs. It was so cute.
“No, I’m not continuing, I’ve been doing this for an hour now, my hands are tired,” Jeremy said as he stopped.
Luna pouted. “But it felt so good !” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“I’d better stop before you get addicted.” They continued playing the game for a short while, both blushing slightly.
“So… what wouldst thou think about marriage?” Luna prompted out of nowhere. After taking a moment to make sure he had heard correctly, Jeremy adopted a more serious look.
“Girl, I’m like, seventeen years old – way too young for that. Humans usually don’t marry until they’re nineteen to twenty-one years old, if I remember right.” Luna looked upset.
“Does that mean we have to wait two years at least?” Jeremy shrugged.
“If I ever decide to go home, I’ll look it up. Besides, I’d be… uncomfortable with marriage this early on.” Luna reluctantly nodded, and Jeremy gave her a small hug. “Relax, the answer isn’t ‘no’.” She smiled and returned the hug. “Hey, I got an idea for the song we could sing tonight,” Jeremy mentioned.
“Do tell,” Luna replied, interested. Jeremy clicked on a file in his music folder, and Luna listened attentively. Then she smiled. “Perfect,” Luna complimented.
Jeremy nodded. “I thought it’d be nice for a closing song.” Luna agreed, and left for a short while to rummage through the workshop.
Jeremy watched, curious, as she pulled out what appeared to be a second copy of the love machine. “We had the idea that the changelings should be allowed to attend – under the promise that they only fed from here.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Gonna be hard to resist all the love in the air, don’t you think?” Luna grinned.
“And therein lies the challenge – let us see if they can resist the temptation.” Jeremy gave her a devilish smile. This was going to be good.
He stepped through the portal, greeting a surprised Chrysalis. “What do you want?” she snapped, before realizing it was him. “Oh, my mistake. I thought you were someone else,” she amended hastily.
Jeremy waved a hand, dismissing her apology. “Yeah, that’s fine. Hey, listen – you know that couples’ karaoke thing? You and a few changeling friends are invited.”
Chrysalis stared at him. “By who?” she finally asked.
“Me and Luna, who else?” Jeremy impatiently replied. “Anyway, we have to go soon, but you guys can show up at the normal time. There’ll be a love machine there, so don’t feed off the ponies. See you there, I hope!” And with that, he stepped back through the portal.
A short time later, they headed out for the third and final night of karaoke. Jeremy took the infrared camera attachment for his glasses, and his suit. He and Luna chatted animatedly along the way, to the interest of passersby – though Jeremy could tell they were trying to hide it.
As they arrived, Jeremy clipped on the infrared camera to his glasses, and began looking around. No sign of Chrysalis yet, but he thought she would show up later. Carrying the love machine, Jeremy stepped inside and walked over to a refreshments table, placing the machine in the drinks section and hastily scribbling a sign that this was for changelings only, and for the other ponies to keep out. Just to make sure, he drew a biohazard logo on the sign and his signature, and made sure it was well away from the other drinks. Finally, he took out a small vial of sulfur that Luna had picked up along with the machine, and inserted it into a collection nozzle.
The audience began to pile in. Some were regular ponies, a significant portion were disguised changelings, and a rare few were undisguised changelings, making the hall surprisingly crowded. Chrysalis herself was undisguised, regally striding along before taking her seat at the front of the seats. To Jeremy’s surprise, Celestia had attended as well, glaring at Chrysalis when she thought no one was looking. She caught Jeremy’s eye, and he stared at her, one eyebrow raised. She turned around, not acknowledging his presence. Jeremy frowned – was she actually still angry at him? This seemed to be going well, in his opinion. Maybe he should meet with her and apologize later – perhaps this was all too sudden of a turn of events for her, or something like that.
The same announcer as from the previous two events walked onto the stage. “Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the two hundred and twenty-fifth annual Couples’ Night Karaoke, Day Three. It has been my great honor to observe our newly formed romantic partners, and it is now my privilege to announce the most popular, so that they may sing a closing song.” She opened a wax-sealed envelope, and after pausing for a moment to turn it right side up, she read “Would Princess Luna and the human Jeremy come onto the stage?” Jeremy and Luna got up from their seats to tumultuous applause – and Jeremy was surprised to notice that a significant portion of that applause was coming from the changelings.
Finally, all were quieted down, and Jeremy took the microphone. “This is a song that I thought fit rather well for Closing Night, and I’m glad I get to sing it. Feel free to join in on the chorus!”
Youtube Video
And with that, his suit started to play the music. He and Luna took their respective positions, and he began to sing. “Woke up on the right side of the bed – what’s up with this prince song inside my head? Hands up, if you’re down to get down tonight~!”
The song was very upbeat and cheery, and the audience reflected this – Jeremy couldn’t spy a single frown. Even Celestia was smiling and nodding her head to the beat, if only slightly. They joined in perfectly on the second chorus, and were silent when they needed to be – Jeremy presumed this was what a music studio’s dream come true would be. Was there some magic in the air that only affected singing? Jeremy decided he would have to look into it before shouting out another “It’s always a good time!”, Luna joining in enthusiastically.
The audience gave them a standing ovation, although it was odd for Jeremy because there was no clapping, only hoof-stomping. Still, it made the place shake – they evidently liked the choice of song. Jeremy paused for a second, and then gave an overdramatic bow, to even more applause, while Luna did the same in her royal manner. With that, they stepped down into the audience.
Chrysalis walked up, sipping a cup of frothing, glowing pink liquid. She gave a sigh of satisfaction. “This is like a candy store,” she commented. “So much love… I might have to invade Equestria again just to hold nights like this every night!”
Jeremy lightly punched her in the shoulder. “You do that and Tartarus will be the least of your worries – this is way too tiring to do every night.” Chrysalis laughed, and filed out, her changelings in tow.
Jeremy walked up to Celestia, who looked at him expectantly. “Hey, can we schedule some time to talk? I want to go over some stuff,” he mentioned.
Celestia looked at him, as if trying to decide his motives. “Absolutely – come in any time tomorrow,” she answered, and Jeremy nodded before packing up the love machine and leaving.
Chapter 17
For a moment, when he woke up, Jeremy was still dreaming enough to have forgotten yesterday’s events. But as he pulled on his pants, it all came rushing back. Jeremy grimaced. He was not looking forward to talking with Celestia again. Also… polygamy. What. Just what . Did that mean he could start taking multiple marefriends? Did he even want to do that? So confusing. Having gotten dressed, he wandered off for lunch.
Lunch was a relatively short affair – a simple peanut butter sandwich was sufficient for him on most days. As he ate, Jeremy considered what to do for the day. Well, he still had to talk to Celestia, obviously. And then there was work… He should probably also visit the hive to check up on the machine… Should probably also meet up with Luna, because it had been a while… Hmm. This day had already turned out to be busier than he had anticipated.
Jeremy headed back to his office, to find that the portal-reset field was ready for testing. In addition, two large, thin stone panels were sitting on a table, a small button jutting out on top. Jeremy pressed one, and a new lime-green portal opened on it, the membrane of the closed portal gently pulsing. He opened the other one, to find that this portal was a more bluish-green, and connected to the first. But why would Luna send him a pair of surface-locked portals in the first place? Evidently, the colors meant something, and Jeremy rolled his eyes once he had figured it out. He carried the still-open lime green portal through the original portal set to the hive, and placed it against the wall. Jeremy then propped the teal portal against a wall of the office, and then got to work on the field.
It was relatively simple, consisting of two oblong, gray emitters. Jeremy set them up right in front of the door, and turned it on. The field flickered to life, a sort of web-like pattern slowly moving across it. Jeremy smiled in satisfaction, and went to find the portal gun. It took some searching, but finally he remembered it was under his desk. Grabbing it, he cautiously stuck just the gun through the field. As soon as it reached the back of the gun, his hand felt tingly. As soon as he pulled it out, it stopped, so unless he had just been irradiated, Jeremy felt he was probably fine. He stepped through, and the portal gun flickered, the blue portal on his end disappearing. “Nice,” he said, still warming up his voice after sleeping.
Well, he didn’t have anything else to do but draw, and he had made enough progress on that yesterday that he felt he should take a few hours off. Jeremy put on his suit and boots, and wandered through the portal to the hive.
The changeling guard was different today – bulkier, and with larger fangs. Jeremy dropped him a nod as he went by, and after some hesitation the guard returned it. Walking out of Chrysalis’ room, he noticed that most of the changelings were clustered around the love machine again. Was it good for them to feed constantly like that? he wondered. They didn’t seem to be impaired in any way, so he dismissed his concerns. Chrysalis was nowhere to be found – on the ground level, at least. Jeremy spotted what he thought might be her, far above. Jogging back to grab the portal gun, he shot a portal in the space it had been before he had tested the Emancipation Grid and shot another one roughly where she was.
Thankfully, he was getting better at aiming – and the higher walls of the cave were relatively flat. Chrysalis stared at him in surprise as he slowly approached her from the thinner ledge that he had gotten himself onto. She looked rather indignant. “Hey! Wasn’t that your only way back?” she asked.
“No, we got a new set of portals specifically for that,” Jeremy informed her. At this, she seemed less irritated than before, and went back to her discussion with a regal-looking, presumably male changeling.
“If your… king wants to submit a challenge, I’m afraid he’ll have to send more than an official notice. After all, what’s a threat without proof? Empty. Come back with your finest fighters, and maybe we’ll talk.” With that, the disgruntled silver-shelled changeling left, and Chrysalis turned to face him again.
“Sorry about that,” she apologized politely.
“More political difficulties?” Jeremy asked.
Chrysalis seemed unsure of whether to tell him, then slowly nodded. “After your little… episode … our changeling army has effectively disbanded. What we didn’t count on was that the other hives have been wanting to challenge me for a while, and have been challenging the throne.”
Jeremy sighed. “Great. Just what we needed, more politics.” Chrysalis nodded her head.
“Without our changeling army, the hive is worried that we may not be able to sustain my position as queen. If I don’t find a suitable replacement in time, I will be dead, and both of our efforts will be for naught.”
Jeremy groaned in frustration – what choice did he have now? “Fine, I’ll fight for you,” he answered.
Chrysalis gave him a joyful grin. “Really? Thank you!”
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I just don’t want to have to go through all that again…” he started explaining, and Chrysalis looked hurt. “Plus, how could I lose my changeling friend?” he finished, chuckling.
Chrysalis semi-indignantly smacked him with a wing. But soon after her expression changed, and she looked almost… relieved? Huh. Jeremy decided to ignore this.
After a short round of small talk, in which Chrysalis assured him that aside from the previous difficulties the hive was doing fine, Jeremy decided to leave. He jumped down to the ground floor – his heart in his throat as he fell what seemed to be over a hundred feet, and promptly landed without so much as a jolt. Jeremy shook his head, and after a second of calming the adrenaline in his legs, strode off for the portal to his office.
When he returned, yet another package was waiting for him – but it was far too small to be anything from the R&D team. He opened it cautiously, to find a stack of papers. Inside was a note reading “From: Lyra – To: Jeremy”. Jeremy set the heavy bundle on top of his desk, next to his drawings.
In addition, a note was attached to his computer monitor, this time from Luna. “Please come back to the office after hours – the R&D team wants to say hello,” he read aloud. “Okay,” he replied to no one in particular, and set this aside as well. He grabbed the first page of Lyra’s story, and began to read.
Halfway through the first page, Jeremy was staring openmouthed. It was a completely modern story, though the main character most likely didn’t exist in his world. Maybe. At least, he hoped so – it would put quite the metaphysical spin on things if Lyra turned out to be responsible for their universe just as they had been responsible for hers. But then, which one came first? With that headache-inducing thought in mind, Jeremy continued reading.
He read on, but couldn’t stop thinking about his upcoming meeting with Celestia. She had flipped her lid at him last time they spoke – what would she do now? He put down the story, too irritated and apprehensive to read. What now? It was an hour until dinnertime, so he might as well get it over with. Sighing in frustration, he left, locking the door.
With each step he took approaching the castle, an inner voice was screaming at him to stop. Fortunately, it was his own and not Luna’s, so Jeremy didn’t have to worry about her misgivings, instead focusing on his own. What if she attacked him? Jeremy wished he remembered his suit, but that would’ve probably also been a bad idea – he didn’t want to put the idea across that he was afraid of her. This was supposed to be a confident and assertive refusal. And it was a refusal – he wasn’t willing to put the time and effort into being with such an unstable person, no matter how wise they seemed on the outside.
Finally, he was outside the doors. Last chance to back out , he thought to himself. Steeling himself, he opened the door.
Celestia seemed surprised to see him, and she put down some paper she had been writing on. “And what do you want today, Jeremy?” she said, her voice bitter and laced with traces of fury.
“I wanted to explain a bit more about our conversation last night.” Jeremy answered calmly. Inside, he was quaking in his shoes.
“Well?” Celestia prompted.
“The thing is, our culture back home is entirely monogamous – I didn’t know yours was polygamous until after we spoke, so I was a little shocked you would be asking me such a question,” Jeremy explained.
Celestia visibly brightened. “So it’s all right then?” Jeremy grimaced. Here came the hardest part.
“No,” he stated flatly. Celestia appeared shocked. “You’re a bit too… unstable for my tastes. I thought something was up when you attempted to punish Chrysalis with no proof, but your outburst last night basically proved it. We are not anything, Celestia, and we never will be.” With that, he turned around and quickly left, noting the look of shock and hurt on Celestia’s face.
What had he gotten himself into now? Jeremy reflected over a plate of fries and grilled vegetables. Should he go back and apologize? No, that would seem weak. But what else could he do? Maybe he’d get lucky, and she would actually calm herself down or something. Jeremy smirked. Yeah right. He knew all about psychotic girlfriends from some of his relatives’ past experiences – they could pretend like no others. Well… damn. Jeremy supposed he would just wait and see how this played out.
He headed back to the office to find a few night pony guards waiting for him. “Oh, hello,” Jeremy greeted. To his surprise, they saluted him, and one opened the door for him. Smiling slightly and now very confused, Jeremy went inside.
He found his coilgun propped up on a table, with a box of nails beside it. No one else was in the room. Just then, the sky switched from day to night, and the guards filed in, taking seats opposite him. One, with more elaborate armor than the others, cleared her throat. “We’re the research and development team. Nice to finally meet you, human.” The others chimed in with their assent.
“Oh. Nice to meet you too, then,” Jeremy responded back, just beginning to understand what was going on.
Luna chose that moment to teleport in right next to Jeremy, nearly startling him off his chair. She chuckled at his reaction. “We would like you to demonstrate this ‘coilgun’,” she informed him.
“Ah. Okay… I guess I can do that,” Jeremy replied, picking up the weapon in question and pointing at various parts. “It uses a rapid pulse of electromagnetic energy, generated by these capacitors, to accelerate any ferromagnetic projectile placed in the barrel. The power source is this fusion battery, and it can probably fire a few thousand times before needing a recharge.” He took a nail and placed it in the barrel, flicking on the switch and waiting for the capacitors to charge. “Anything you want me to hit?” he asked Luna, who shrugged.
“Why don’t thou try there,” she asked, pointing at a table at the other end of the room. Jeremy aimed carefully, and pressed the button. The nail made a small noise as it exited the barrel in a blur, embedding itself deeply into the aforementioned table. This delighted the guards, as they began excitedly muttering.
“So, there you go. It can fire anything made of iron or steel, and doesn’t require any maintenance besides recharging,” Jeremy finished, placing the coilgun on the desk. “Any questions?”
One guard raised his hoof, and Jeremy looked at him. “Do you use these back on your planet?” the guard asked. Jeremy shook his head dejectedly.
“Unfortunately, we don’t have infinite energy or magic – this fusion battery here is a pipe dream for us,” he answered. There were no more questions, so he put the coilgun away and the R&D team filed out, claiming they had to eat. Finally, it was just Jeremy and Luna, alone in the office once again.
Luna looked at him, a small smile playing about her muzzle. “So, what is new with thou?”
Jeremy anxiously frowned. “Well, Celestia’s really, really ticked off at me, because I spurned her advances.”
Luna was openmouthed for a second. “She attempted to seduce thee?”
Jeremy chuckled nervously. “Not quite… She said she wanted to pursue a relationship with me as well, and when I said I was already with you, she kind of... went a bit off. Started talking about how nopony was better than her, stuff like that. She got really mad, and... I think she was about to attack me when I left. Then I learned from Chrysalis that polygamy is the thing here, and went to talk to her again. I turned her down again, because I don’t think I want to be with her if she’s that unstable. And that’s everything.” Jeremy stared apprehensively at Luna, waiting for her reaction.
“And she… ‘flipped out’?” Luna queried, reading his thoughts.
“Yeah – if I hadn’t left, I seriously think I would've gotten badly hurt, or killed,” Jeremy clarified, cringing slightly. Luna, noticing this, placed a reassuring hoof on his shoulder.
“We will speak with her – surely there is some alternative cause than thy conduct,” Luna thought aloud.
“Then - you're not mad?" Jeremy asked, surprised. Luna vigorously shook her head.
"Wherefore should we be angry? Because she is our sister? Nay. We believe thou art not lying, and... that worries us."
Jeremy sighed. "It worries me, too. I thought we could just be happy together..." he trailed off. Luna pulled him into a hug.
"And we shall be. We - I - shall make sure of that personally, even if it means confronting our sister." Jeremy returned the hug, smiling in relief down at the love of his life.
“Now… We believe we owe thee something for that stomach rub thou gave us last night,” Luna mentioned seductively. Jeremy nervously tugged at his shirt collar.
“Ehehe…” his voice trailed off, unsure of her intent.
“Oh, relax, we art more than satisfied with that . We recently had a massage, and wanted to see if thou wouldst like one,” Luna informed him.
“Oh. Sure?” Jeremy answered, and an instant later, they were once again transported to Luna’s bedroom.
“Now lie on thy stomach, and relax,” Luna instructed him. Jeremy complied, unsure what she was going to do until he felt her digging her hooves into his back, almost enough to hurt but not quite.
“What are you- Oooohhh yessss,” Jeremy interrupted himself as a sensation of pure, relaxed bliss settled throughout his spine. He hadn’t felt this good in years. Half asleep, he allowed Luna to continue, and she was evidently enjoying his comfort, humming a comforting tune as she continued to work out the years of stress.
A loud crack snapped him back to reality, and Luna jerked away, staring at him. “Art thou alright? Did we break something?” she worriedly asked.
Jeremy dismissed her concerns. “It’s fine, my joints do that a lot. Keep going, please, you're doing wonderfully.” After a moment’s hesitation, Luna resumed her massage, and Jeremy settled back into utter, calm relaxation.
Chapter 18
9-25-13, 12:47 P.M.
Jeremy woke up in his own bed, which was confusing. He still felt so good from the massage yesterday. In fact, as Jeremy rotated his joints and spine, not a single crack was heard – evidently he was as flexible as could be right now. Hell yes , he thought, and sprang out of bed.
It was a quiet Wednesday as Jeremy read more of Lyra’s script. He kept being surprised at the little details she had gotten – although she seemed to use “technology” as some sort of catch-all noun or adjective, rather like the use of ‘magic’ back home. Feeling slightly unsettled, Jeremy put away the stack of paper, saving his place.
With no more inventions to develop for the day, he lazed about, before deciding to go to the hive. Why not? He could have some fun with the portal gun, and also check up on Chrysalis and her political troubles. Really, he just wanted something to do. Man, he was bored.
Changelings had gotten used to the sight of him – they no longer looked at him like they wanted to bite him to death, or flee in terror. It was actually kind of relieving, Jeremy reflected as he traversed a ledge along the upper walls, searching for Chrysalis. Some even waved a wing or hoof in greeting. He waved back, smiling, and continued on.
He finally found Chrysalis inside one of the glowing green, gigantic pustules attached to the ceiling. She was cradling a baby changeling, singing what appeared to be a lullaby to it in a language of hissing and sibylline whispering. Jeremy watched for a moment, giving Chrysalis a small smile when she looked up. Chrysalis gently laid the murmuring infant back inside a hole in the wall, half taken up by a small cocoon. “Cute,” Jeremy mentioned, and Chrysalis returned his smile.
“As queen, I personally oversee every wriggler we hatch,” she replied.
“Anyway, I got bored, and decided to hang out here,” Jeremy offhandedly informed her.
“Huh – Equestria must be pretty boring if you want to hang out here,” said Chrysalis, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, this place is pretty interesting, and I get tired of Canterlot easily,” Jeremy answered.
They made their way down to the ground floor. “So, looks like you and Luna have a steady relationship going,” commented Chrysalis.
“What makes you say that?” Jeremy replied curiously.
“Please – as if I can’t tell. You’re still giving off a scent of happiness,” Chrysalis answered.
Jeremy blushed. “Oh. No, she gave me a massage last night – a real massage, not the other kind.”
Chrysalis looked at him in surprise. “Really? That’s sweet of her.”
Jeremy nodded. “Well, I did give her a belly rub a while ago, so apparently she wanted to return the favor.”
Chrysalis laughed. “A belly rub. Really, you two are just adorable sometimes!” Jeremy blushed even further, causing Chrysalis to laugh harder.
They reached her room, and Jeremy leaned against the wall. “So what about Celestia? I'm guessing she's still angry,” Chrysalis remarked.
“Yeah… I don’t know what to do about that. I haven't seen her since I tried talking to her again... and I'm not sure I want to.” Chrysalis nodded.
“It isn’t like her,” she remarked, and Jeremy agreed. Chrysalis appeared to be in thought. “She is beautiful, though…” Chrysalis commented, not without a hint of jealousy.
“Meaning what?” Jeremy asked.
“Well, if I had to pick which one of us you’d be most likely to date for looks alone, it wouldn’t be me,” Chrysalis answered.
Jeremy glared at her. “I don’t hook up with someone just for looks. In fact, they don't factor into my decision,” he angrily answered.
Chrysalis looked at him, this time in consternation. “What do you look for in a romantic partner, then?”
Jeremy thought for a bit. “They’ve got to be... hmm. I guess I never really listed any qualifications - I never thought I'd get this far, you know? So, uh... the only thing I can think of is that they love me back...” Jeremy trailed off, lost in thought.
“So what about me?” Chrysalis asked – and for the first time, it sounded like a genuine question. Jeremy looked up at her.
“I tried to kill you the first time we met. I also… what was it? Took out your entire army, defeated that giant changeling, and am currently helping you? Whatever you ranted about earlier.” Chrysalis chuckled. “Point is, it’s complicated,” Jeremy answered. “Like, I would date you. You seem cool. But... I have no idea of the potential implications of that, plus… I don’t know. Still getting over the whole polygamy thing. And what would Luna think?”
Chrysalis nodded sagely, and answered. “Of course. But just so you know, there are no real 'implications' - nopony's ever willingly entered a relationship with a changeling before... And as for Luna, why don't you just ask her?”
Jeremy thought about it. “Sure, I guess. And... thanks for your help.” He felt odd just saying that - he'd beat the hell out of this mare just a few days ago, after all.
Chrysalis relaxed into laying on her stomach, while Jeremy took a seat against the wall he had been leaning on. “Speaking of Luna, how’s she doing?” Jeremy smiled.
“Pretty good – I did a demonstration for a gun I made recently, and we sang the closing song for that karaoke festival thing.” Chrysalis laughed, and then got serious.
“Say, change of topic. Do they have the concept of different sexuality on Earth?” Jeremy was confused by the change of topic.
“Yeah, we have a bunch of different types. Why?”
Chrysalis looked at him, grinning. “I was just thinking about how you’re technically bisexual for Luna, that’s all.”
Jeremy looked at her, even more confused. “…What?” he queried.
Chrysalis looked at him openmouthed for a second, and then closed it. “Ah... never mind. Forget I said anything.” Jeremy’s mind raced through all the possibilities of what that could imply, coming up with a blank.
“Uh… Alright then,” he answered, still very wrong-footed.
From that, the conversation turned back to mild as they discussed various aspects of their day lives. Jeremy was interested to hear that the changelings had very nearly started worshipping him until Chrysalis put a stop to it, and she was just as interested to hear about his escapades with the various devices he was making. They talked for a few hours, until they heard a commotion outside. Perplexed, Jeremy and Chrysalis ventured outside.
9-25-13, 8:57 P.M.
Royal guards were attempting to enter the hive, and a horde of changelings were holding them back. After spending a short moment taking in the scene, Jeremy ran forward to assist, pushing aside royal guards as he made his way to the front. To his surprise, it was nighttime already, and both Celestia and Luna were there, Celestia looking furious and Luna looking not at all happy to be there. Chrysalis made her way out as well, and upon seeing her, the guards stopped attempting to get in, and clustered around them. Jeremy glared at them, readying himself for a potential fight.
“I knew it – look at him, he’s already fighting for her!” Celestia spat to Luna.
Jeremy faced her, a vitriolic snarl on his face. “Is that a problem? You do seem to be encroaching on her territory, after all.” Celestia glared at him, coldly unamused.
“You are no judge of her character – or mine, for that matter.”
Jeremy gave her a humorless smile. “So says the royal hypocrite. What makes you a better judge, you insensitive racist?”
Celestia took a step forward. “How dare you!” Jeremy simply crossed his arms, too angry to acknowledge his fear.
“So, what brings you to the Hive? I doubt it’s for pleasantries, judging by the ridiculous excess of law enforcement,” he continued, glaring at the guards surrounding them.
Celestia ignored him, and turned to Chrysalis. “So, this is where you live. Not exactly a palace, but then you changelings never were civilized, were you?” Chrysalis merely snarled in response.
Jeremy looked at Luna, who worriedly looked back. The hell is going on here ? He thought in her direction. She gave no answer, possibly due to her sister’s proximity. Right. Looks like he’d have to figure this out on his own.
Chrysalis, to his surprise, turned around and began to walk back into the Hive. “I’ll not consort so rudely. I am a Queen , not an arrogant wriggler with a crown on her sun-spotted head. Come along, Jeremy.” Torn, Jeremy looked between Luna and Chrysalis, who looked back at him, surprised. “You can’t seriously want to continue this travesty of a conversation?” Chrysalis asked. Jeremy considered what to do.
“I’ll see what they want. If it’s anything worthwhile, I’ll hear them out.” Chrysalis nodded grimly and went inside, and the changelings allowed her through before resuming their blockade.
Jeremy turned back towards Celestia and Luna, adopting an almost bored look. “Well? You heard her. We do this calmly and politely, or not at all.” Celestia looked at him with utter disdain.
“In fact, I’m here for you. Not her – she can keep her little queendom.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“Is this about yesterday?”
Celestia nodded. “Luna spoke with me, and explained your views in further detail. If you’re monogamous, I can respect that.” Jeremy cleared his throat.
“Luna, we’ll have to talk about that later.”
Celestia looked at him in surprise. “Wait... you mean you’re open to being with multiple lovers? Well, that was sudden.” Jeremy nodded.
“Chrysalis explained how it worked to me, and I feel like I could manage it.”
Celestia smiled. “So that works out fine, then. I’ll see you tomorrow morning!”
Jeremy looked at her. “…What?”
Celestia looked confused. “Well, you said you were up for polyamorous relationships, right? So, there should be no problem with us being together.”
Jeremy slapped a hand to his face. “Were you not paying attention to what I told you yesterday? I didn’t reject you just because I already had Luna – I rejected you because you’re crazy!” Luna made a sudden motion forward, as though she were going to object. Jeremy glared at her, which was a new and unpleasant experience. “Don’t try to defend her! Or is this normal behavior?”
Luna now looked torn between him and Celestia, before lowering her head. “We think… we will go and speak with Queen Chrysalis,” she said, hurriedly and nervously heading towards the hive entrance. To everyone else's surprise, the changelings let her through, possibly out of confusion.
Celestia watched her leave furiously. “Not you too! Sister, come back!” she shouted after Luna, to no reply. Jeremy also watched her leave apprehensively. When he looked back, Celestia was glaring at him. “Now look what you did!” she accused. Jeremy turned to face the solar princess, a cold glare on his face.
“If she chose to hang out with Chrysalis over you, I don’t think that’s my fault. Or even really my problem,” he taunted. Celestia looked at him as though she wanted nothing more than to incinerate him on the spot. Her hair seemed to turn a shade redder than normal, and her eyes glowed slightly in the darkness. Then, she seemed to relax, and gave him an unnervingly sincere smile.
“Well, if you want me to be calm, then I will be. You only had to ask, after all,” she laughed. Jeremy stared at her, now somewhat afraid - this new Celestia was terrifying. What happened to the calm, wise Princess he'd watched on the show? Had she always been like this, secretly? "So, now that I’m calmed down, how about it? We don’t even have to have a serious romantic date – just a drink would be nice. We could get to know one another, talk things out...” Celestia continued.
“Yeah, how about no. I don’t trust you. At all. Ever,” Jeremy replied.
Celestia looked hurt. “But... I calmed down! That was what you wanted, right?!” Jeremy could feel his rage building, and in that moment he made a decision. It was time to let everyone know where he really stood.
“How dumb do you think I am? You're the most obvious fake I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. And no amount of kissing up, or apologies, or anything like that is going to make me reconsider. Everything that's happened so far is your fault! You could have made peace with the changelings and invented a love machine, you could have bothered to ask me out normally and explain yourself like a grown fucking mare instead of being petty and jealous, and YOU COULD HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME!" he roared. Celestia looked taken aback. "It really was that simple! But no , you just had to be a smug, arrogant, awful monster of a pony! I'll never love you, Celestia - in fact, I hate you, you MISERABLE waste of royal blood!" he screamed, fists balled up and glaring at the white princess.
Celestia stared at him for a second, her mouth hanging open in shock as Jeremy panted. Finally, she composed herself. “Fine,” she whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear. “On your own head be it,” she added, a little louder. Celestia then walked way, attempting a dignified poise.
“As if I haven’t heard that before,” Jeremy replied to her receding form. The guards, after some hesitation, followed.
Jeremy staggered into Chrysalis’ room, and leaned against the wall, his adrenaline wearing off. “My god, that was terrifying. Anyone got a drink?”
Luna, who had been anxiously watching him, looked surprised. “Thou partake in intoxicative drinks? We never knew.” Jeremy, after staring at her for a second, laughed.
“Heh. No, I meant water – although now that you mention it, I could live with not remembering this night. Urgh.” He slumped against the wall. Luna went over beside him, and Jeremy placed a comforting hand on her. “I’m fine,” he answered to her unspoken question. “She just... I... oh hell, I'm not fine.” Luna nodded.
"We heard thee... from all the way in here." Jeremy winced, and Luna gave him a frown. "Art thou... angry at us too?" she asked, and Jeremy looked at her in surprise. Luna looked away, eyes tightly shut and ears twitching as though she expected him to yell at her.
Feeling guilty, Jeremy gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Of course not, Luna. You've done nothing wrong. You've been perfect ," he soothed.
Luna gazed up at him, watery-eyed, before pulling him into a bonebreakingly strong hug. "We... I needed that..." she whispered.
Chrysalis, who had gotten up to check outside, came back in and took a seat on the floor. “Wow. I don't think anypony's been that rude to her face before,” she commented, and Jeremy gave her a weak smile.
“For what it’s worth, you have my full support if she decides to attack,” he remarked to her, and Chrysalis nodded solemnly. Luna seemed torn, before getting a resolute look in her eyes.
“We support you as well,” she added. Both Jeremy and Chrysalis stared at her in shock.
“…Are you sure about that?” Jeremy asked after a moment.
“Yes,” Luna firmly answered. “Our sister is not well… We think she is giving herself over to jealousy and bitterness… like… well, you know. Me.” Jeremy stared at her. She had abandoned her royal “we”, as well as her old-school speech quirks, and the difference in tone was striking. It was like she'd transformed into a different mare - where before she had been regal, and royal, and a princess... now she just looked like a scared little filly.
Chrysalis was still staring, intrigued, before clearing her throat and speaking. “So… do we call the Elements of Harmony into this? That’s what happened last time, right?” Jeremy briefly considered this.
“Well, I don’t think that’s going to work. Firstly… I don’t want to involve Twilight or her friends, if at all possible. Luna, you know the main reason why. Plus, I don’t think Twilight could raise a hoof against her. After all, Celestia mentored her for most of her life – I don’t think Sparkle could bring herself to fight her idol.”
Chrysalis looked down, frowning in thought, and both Luna and Jeremy did as well. “I guess we should just be careful for now, and not initiate a confrontation,” Jeremy finally mentioned aloud.
Chapter 19
9-25-13, 10:32 P.M.
“So, not accusing you of anything, but why did you tag along with your sister, Luna?” Jeremy inquired, still a bit jittery due to his recent adrenaline high.
“Well, I was wondering where thou were – we did not see thee at the office,” Luna mentioned - the three of them having calmed down, she had re-adopted her speech quirk, though noticeably absent of the royal 'we'. Jeremy stopped cold.
“Oh shit – I forgot I had stuff to do today!” he exclaimed. He got up, but Luna forced him down with a hoof.
“It’s fine, really!” she replied. “I assumed when thou weren’t there that extenuating circumstances were the cause, and when I found thee, I was assured that this was in fact the case.” Jeremy turned to face her anxiously.
“No, I was just hanging out with Chrysalis. We weren’t doing anything important!” Luna rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, it’s fine. Thou haven’t taken a single day off, even on weekends. Frankly, I was starting to get a little worried.” Jeremy looked at her. “What?” Luna asked.
“Nothing, it’s just – it’s weird hearing you speak in first-person,” Jeremy muttered. Luna frowned.
“Now that I have sided against my sister, I cannot use the royal ‘we’ – it would be facetious to imply that we were still in complete agreement with each other on all issues.” Jeremy nodded – it made sense to him.
Chrysalis cleared her throat again, with the air of a clinical psychologist. “Now, Jeremy, didn’t you have something to ask?” she reminded him.
“Oh yeah…” Jeremy replied. Luna looked at him nervously. “So, Chrysalis mentioned wanting to be in a relationship with me, and I wanted to see what you think. Personally, I’m okay with it... She's been nice, really.” he explained to her. Luna looked at Chrysalis, who nervously smiled back.
“But... will you still love me?" she asked forlornly. Jeremy was taken aback at the question.
"Wha - yes, of course! I wouldn't stop loving you just because I started loving her too!" he rebutted, hugging her. "I love you, Luna. I love you more than anything else. But... don't you think she deserves to be happy too?" he asked. Luna looked over at Chrysalis, who looked away guiltily.
"I... okay." Luna finally answered. "Just promise me. Promise me you'll treat us equally." Chrysalis looked over in shock.
Jeremy solemnly nodded. "I promise," he answered. Chrysalis immediately rushed over, engulfing the two of them in a hug.
"Thank you! I promise with all my heart, you won't regret this!" she jubilantly asserted, before stepping back and giving them a sheepish grin. "Too much?" she asked, and Luna gave her a small smile before pulling her back into a hug. "Just enough," she answered. Jeremy encircled his arms around the both of them, and Chrysalis hummed contentedly.
“So, Luna, I had something else to ask you…” he continued nervously. Luna looked back at him, and he took a moment to calm himself before asking. “Chrysalis told me that I should technically be bisexual for you… what’s that about?”
Luna appeared shocked for a moment before turning to Chrysalis in outrage. "That was not thy secret to reveal!" she exclaimed furiously. Chrysalis stared at her, extricating herself from Jeremy's arms to put some space between her and Luna.
"Well, you weren't going to reveal it on your own! And what about when he finds out?" she gestured, pointing a hoof up at Jeremy. "Think he's going to be pleased you hid this from him?"
Luna looked as though she wanted to argue some more, but then hung her head in shame. "Jeremy?" she asked quietly. "Dost thou remember our special night together?" she asked, and Jeremy looked at her in alarm.
"Yeah... why?" he replied, wondering what this could be about.
"I... changed my appearance before we... mated," Luna falteringly admitted, tearing up.
Well, now Jeremy was just confused. "Okay... how?" he asked.
Luna looked at him. “I… well… I’m a hermaphrodite!” Luna blurted, and buried her head in her hooves.
Jeremy stared at her. “As in… you have both sets,” he clarified. She nodded, too embarrassed to speak. For a moment, Jeremy was unsure how to reply. Then his self-critical side kicked in after days of not being used, and he pulled her into a hug, gently prying her hooves away and turning her head to face him. “That’s okay,” he said. Luna looked up at him, shocked, and even Chrysalis looked over in surprise.
“But… I’m a biological freak! Celestia said this was unnatural, that it doesn’t normally happen!” In response, Jeremy hugged her tighter.
“She's technically right, it's not genetically 'normal'. But Luna, I don’t love you for your body, although it is a sweet bonus. I love you for you – and nothing you were born with can change that.” Luna looked at him for a moment before squirming around to return his hug.
"Thou aren't even mad that we lied to you?" she asked. Jeremy shrugged.
"Hey, you had your reasons. For what it's worth... I'm glad you told me," he admitted. "It'd be a little jarring if I looked over one moment in the middle of something and you had both parts, but now that I know beforehand it's fine." Chrysalis looked over at him.
"So, what if I told you I had an ovipositor?" Jeremy looked over at her suspiciously.
"...Do you?" he finally responded.
Chrysalis laughed nervously. "I... yes," she finally admitted. "It's for impregnating the female changelings with eggs..." Jeremy looked at her for a moment, then shrugged.
"Cool by me, as long as I don't wake up with eggs in my stomach," he replied. Chrysalis looked at him, openmouthed, then looked over at Luna. "Is that - is that normal ?" she asked.
Luna, who had been watching this exchange with some amusement, giggled. "No, most stallions would be running in the other direction."
Jeremy simply shrugged. "Hey, you're both aliens - everything else was trivial after I got over that," he replied. Chrysalis, after looking at him for a moment, shook her head in confusion and moved over, Jeremy holding out an arm. For a while, they stayed like that, Jeremy blushing more and more as he looked down at the two mares in his embrace.
Finally, Chrysalis moved out of his arms, and Luna took this as a cue to sit up as well. “So... I think thou should give serious consideration to enhancing thy personal protection - my sister is not to be trifled with," Luna thought out loud.
Chrysalis nodded, surprising Jeremy with a tight, crushing embrace of both hooves and wings. “No way I’m letting her get you - not after all you've done,” she replied viciously. Jeremy mumbled something unintelligible, and Chrysalis looked down before hurriedly letting go.
"Thanks, couldn't breathe for a sec - Jeez, girl, it's not like I'm going anywhere," he reminded her. "As for increased protection... What if you guys enchanted my suit so that it couldn’t be taken off?” Chrysalis frowned.
“But what if I want to take your suit off?” she asked. Jeremy looked at her, pretending to be unamused before bursting into laughter.
“Okay, well, how about if you guys enchant the suit so that only I can take it off?” he amended.
“That seems reasonable – she can’t hurt thee nearly as easily if thou art wearing it. What about the helmet?” Luna asked.
“Going to say yes on the helmet – it’s going to make it hard to sleep, but it’ll probably be worth it in the long run,” Jeremy answered. He went and got the suit, but came back alarmed. "The helmet's gone! I must have left it at my apartment," he informed them, and slapped a hand to his forehead.
"Can we summon it from here?" Chrysalis wondered. Luna shook her head.
"If we are to enchant this suit to resist magic, one errant spell might cost us dearly - it will cost us all of our magic to resist my sister's wrath. Jeremy, I hate to say this, but... you may need to retrieve it manually," she finished.
Jeremy grimaced, taking a breath. "Okay," he nervously replied. Luna and Chrysalis’ horns both lit up, the bright blue and acidic green casting colorful shadows on the walls. The suit lit up in a sort of teal medley of their two colors, and then ceased glowing. Looking a little tired, both Luna and Chrysalis slumped on the floor. “You two okay?” Jeremy concernedly asked.
“Yes, we’ll be fine,” Luna replied, sounding exhausted.
“We used a whole lot of magic – those are the strongest enchantments I've ever done,” Chrysalis added, also sounding as if she were about to drop.
“Thanks… that means a lot,” Jeremy replied.
“Oh, don’t start again with the sentimentality,” Chrysalis replied, yawning. Jeremy smiled slightly.
“Luna, will you be returning to the castle?” Jeremy asked. Luna considered this.
“No, I do not think I will,” she answered. “Celestia would probably not take it well, after I left her.” Jeremy nodded.
“Staying here with Chrysalis then?” he said.
“Yes, that would probably be best,” Luna mentioned before yawning loudly. Jeremy grinned at the cute spectacle. Luna stared back at him, sleepily frowning. "Jeremy?" she asked, quietly.
"Yeah?" he replied, taking a seat by her and scratching her ears. She hummed in pleasure, Chrysalis looking somewhat jealous.
"I was just wondering... if we had never met. If you had continued your life on Earth, and I on Equestria... you'd be happy. You'd take a human mare, and life would have been simple. You never would have had to go through this... it's my fault..." she trailed off, head resting between her hooves. Jeremy gently lifted her chin up so that she was looking at him.
"Princess Luna, if I had never met you, I would still be getting over the trauma of my own past. I wouldn't 'be happy'... in fact, I would have probably committed suicide or gone insane," he sadly replied. Luna clapped a hoof to her mouth, and Jeremy gave her a sad smile. "But now that I'm here, I know this much: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Both of you," he added, looking over at Chrysalis, who gave him a surprised smile. "And I would never trade you away for a pretense at normalcy."
Luna wrapped her forelegs around his midsection, leaning her head into his chest and sighing deeply. A moment later, she began gently breathing: She'd fallen asleep. Jeremy carefully went into the office and found a jacket of his, which he draped over her as a makeshift blanket.
Chrysalis looked down at her sleeping figure. “I’m tempted to put her in my cocoon…” she thought aloud.
“Don’t, she’d probably freak out when she woke up,” Jeremy replied.
"Did you... mean what you said? About my being the best thing that's happened to you?" Chrysalis asked curiously. Jeremy nodded.
"Every word," he replied, and pulled his suit on. "Okay," he announced, an increasing feeling of trepidation in his chest. "I'm going to go get my helmet, before the sun comes up. Wish me luck!" Chrysalis nodded.
“Don’t get caught,” she reminded him.
“I know, jeez,” Jeremy answered sarcastically.
9-26-13, 1:02 A.M.
Jeremy swiftly traveled through the back alleyways, staying out of sight. There were no royal guards about, not even night guards – a fact he found disconcerting. Finally, he found his apartment, squinting through the darkness to make out the metallic "907" inscribed upon the door. Funny , Jeremy thought. I’m probably visiting this place for the last time . He cautiously opened the door, cringing at the sound it made, and stepped inside.
Of course, it was dark. He lit a match, and used this to light the lamp. Looking around, there was no one in the room. He attached the infrared chip to his glasses, and checked again. Still nothing. Somewhat more relaxed, he found his quartz helmet, and put it on.
Checking around, he didn’t find anything else – the suit still had all of his guns, including the portal gun. The coilgun was missing, but Jeremy wasn’t too fussed – he didn’t think it would be too useful considering he still had infinite bullets.
Just as he was about to leave, he staggered against a doorway. Confused, he attempted to get up again, only to find that he couldn't. He heard a noise behind him, and attempted to whirl around, feeling like he was moving through water. All he caught was a glimpse of white as he fell to the floor, losing consciousness.
It seemed to him that he had woken up instantaneously. He appeared to be confined in a small room by chains, and Celestia was standing in front of him. Jeremy was still too sleepy, but the ramifications of this quickly hit him. “How long have I been out?” he asked, trying to keep himself from panicking.
“A few hours. It’s morning, by the way.” Celestia answered, businesslike. She started pacing. “Now, I’m afraid there’s going to be some changes in how you and I treat each other. After all, you are now under my command. You will not do anything unless I say so, and in turn I will allow you such privileges as eating and breathing. You will also provide me with any sexual favors I desire – such is only fitting for royalty.” Jeremy looked at her, regaining his higher-order functions – and with them, his fear.
“And what if I disagree?” he asked.
“Then you’ll die, of course. So, what’ll it be?” Celestia asked, looking at him as though she had just won.
Jeremy grinned darkly. “Looks like you’re gonna have to kill me, then. Ain’t no way I’m doing any of that for you, you pathetic waste of –“ He was cut off by Celestia. She stopped pacing and looked at him.
“Really? You’d sacrifice your life, just to secure your dignity? And they said my problem was pride,” she mused. Jeremy looked at her, confused. No one had ever said Celestia was proud, either here or on Earth. Really, pride was something he had never expected in her. “Well,” Celestia continued, “maybe a few days in here will make you talk. I can wait.”
Before she left, Jeremy struggled for a moment before calling “Wait!” She turned back towards him, expectantly.
“What’s so important about me? Why are you doing this?” he asked. Celestia smirked.
“It isn’t really about you. I just have to show that idiot moon princess that I’ve beaten her in every way, even after she thought she won over me.” A horrible suspicion began to take root in Jeremy's mind. No... surely not , he thought to himself. Just as she was about to exit the door, Celestia's expression changed. She looked incredibly guilty and remorseful, gazing back at him. "The ropes..." she whispered. A second later, she winced in pain, and when she looked at him again she was glaring once more. "...Are secure. There is no way to exit this room. If you try to escape, I will kill you," she asserted, and promptly left.
Jeremy breathed deeply, attempting to calm himself. He had to find a way out of here. It looked as though Celestia had been giving him a clue - almost as if she wanted him to escape, weirdly enough. The chains were indeed secured by rope – he should be able to remove that if he could find a sharp surface. Unfortunately, he couldn’t bite it off, as he was blocked by the helmet. He looked around the room, also trying to feel what he was laying on. It appeared that he was on two tables, end-to-end, designed to secure a pony in place. But not a human, Jeremy reminded himself, and kept looking for an escape. As he struggled to look around, one of his restraints lengthened itself just a little longer than the other. Jeremy looked at it in surprise – he couldn’t see where it attached to the table, but he felt certain that it was coming out. He pulled harder, straining with the effort, until his arm finally came free, the rope snapping. It hurt like hell, but he couldn’t concentrate on that now. He didn’t know how long he had until Celestia dropped by again to check on him…
He leaned over, and pulled with all his might on the other arm, and the rope snapped with an unfortunately loud crack. Scared by this, Jeremy hurried even faster. Leaning forward, he flipped over, crossing the ropes, and pushed his legs apart, snapping both ropes. The sound of two ropes snapping was loud enough that he was sure Celestia had heard, and sure enough he heard hoofsteps approaching his cell. Hurriedly, he whipped out the portal gun – thankfully, the room was smooth concrete – and aimed at a nearby building, and then placed another portal on the floor, falling through just as Celestia burst in furiously.
//{Portal 2 OST – An Accent Beyond}
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The chase was on, and Jeremy didn’t stop for a second as he landed on the ground, thanking whatever powers existed that he had remembered his boots. He ran for the edge of the cliff, and without hesitation, jumped off, to land in the outer district of Canterlot. Celestia was right behind him, flying after him with a look of utmost rage. Still running, he jumped off the main cliff of Canterlot, and flew down the mountain.
The wind rushing by him obscured all other sounds, and he approached the steep side of the mountain from above, finally beginning to slide on the steep incline before jumping off again. As he fell, he saw Celestia frantically attempting to catch up with him, apparently unwilling to execute a freefall herself. Finally, he approached the ground – there was an opening for a train, and a horn sounded. Jeremy gulped – he’d have to time this pretty perfectly. He once again hit the side of the mountain, and used the overlooking lip of the cave mouth as a slide, converting his vertical momentum into horizontal momentum. He flew out over the ground, and the train, being much faster than him, quickly sped out the cave opening and below him. He landed on top, grunting as he rolled across the top of the smooth car, and quickly got into a space between two train cars, hoping Celestia hadn’t seen him.
Apparently, she hadn’t, but after a moment’s hesitation, she started to fly after the train – evidently she was tracking him. Jeremy’s heart sank. He tried with all his might to send a message to Luna. Celestia after me – just escaped. Need help!
To his relief, she responded almost instantly. Thou art okay! Keep running – I will help speed thee up. Head for the Hive! Jeremy nodded grimly, as the train came to a stop in Ponyville Square.
Ignoring the shouts of alarm, he jumped off the train before it stopped completely, and continued running, Celestia close behind. To his surprise, he found that he was running amazingly fast – in fact, he appeared to be gliding along the floor. He looked down to find that his boots were coated in orange – it looked like it had been teleported on in a hurry. Jeremy smiled, grateful, and sped on.
As he ran, he sped right past a bewildered Twilight Sparkle, and grimaced. That would almost certainly come back to bite him. Not stopping, he headed for the forest, also passing Fluttershy and Applejack, who stared at him, confused and more than a little frightened.
Chapter 20
9-26-13, 4:44 A.M.
//continue{Portal 2 OST – An Accent Beyond} {t=80s}
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Jeremy reflected on how he was probably about to die. His suit didn’t do anything against heat except a slight insulation due to the sorbothane and ceramic, and really all that did was make him feel hot in the blazing sun. Thankfully, the Everfree Forest was shady. He ran past Fluttershy’s cottage, trying to remember the path to the Hive. Celestia was still after him, flying over the treetops. He crashed through the undergrowth, trying desperately to avoid trees. This was the right path, right? Just then, he felt Luna trying to reach him. Change of plans! she informed him. Head to the old royal castle, the one we saw in the first episode! It’s right along the main path from Fluttershy’s cottage, you can’t miss it! Jeremy nodded uncertainly, and sped back towards the path, narrowly missing a squirrel.
Jeremy rapidly approached the bridge to the old castle, which was evidently still out. Still running, he jumped at the last second, slamming into the edge of the cliff and scrabbling frantically for a hold. He finally picked himself up, and kept running. The old castle was now in sight, and he saw some royal guards of the sun hauling Chrysalis and Luna inside. Not stopping for a moment, he barreled right into them, grabbing the two captives. He then set about with a flurry of punches and kicks, dispatching all the guards before they had a chance to recover, and brought Chrysalis and Luna into the old castle.
//{end}
Jeremy looked around – the place was evidently in worse disrepair than the show had made him think. Banners of the sun and moon were strewn about, some ripped. He hurriedly untied them.
“I can’t believe you escaped!” Chrysalis exclaimed, pleased to see him. Jeremy smiled at her.
“It wasn’t that hard – the ropes were kind of weak,” he explained briefly. Unfortunately, before he could finish, Celestia burst in, blazing with a burning magical aura.
“NO!” she shouted, and Jeremy was thrown back from Luna and Chrysalis. With another burst of magical energy, they were flung against the wall, which grew stone shackles to keep them from moving. Jeremy got up and whipped around, taking out his assault rifle. “I will NOT let you be with them! You’re MINE, human, MINE FOREVER!” Celestia screamed.
Jeremy leveled the rifle at her. “Let's settle this like adults , you worthless mongrel!” To his surprise, Celestia laughed.
“You think you can beat me with your simple guns? I am not Celestia, foal!” Her bright magic swirled around her, coalescing until Jeremy couldn’t look. A dark shape sprang free, and Celestia slumped to the floor, unconscious.
Nightmare Moon surveyed the room, sparkling with both dark and light energy. Her coat was now half black and half white, and her hair was a mix of blue and red flames, but she was still recognizable - her unforgettable, razor-sharp smile and catlike eyes attested to that. “Thou ?! Thou art dead , demon!” Luna shouted. Nightmare once again enchanted the stone wall imprisoning her, this time to cover her mouth.
“Me! And this time, I won’t let anyone stop me – I own the night AND the day!” she arrogantly announced. Jeremy fired off a burst of rounds, but they were quickly deflected by Nightmare Moon’s magical energy. Now would be a great time for the Elements of Harmony to burst in here , he thought desperately. Nightmare turned to him, her horn and eyes glowing a deep electric blue. “Jeremy, you will SUBMIT ,” she intoned, her voice laced with power. Strangely, nothing happened – Jeremy felt the same.
Chrysalis laughed. "You think you can use mind control?! There is only one master of that here - me!" she asserted. "And I will not let you control my love!"
Nightmare Moon appeared surprised, before returning to her usual furious look. “It didn’t work? Very well then – I’LL BEAT YOU INTO SUBMISSION!” she roared, springing forward.
//{Portal 2 OST – Bombs for Throwing at You}
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Jeremy ducked at the first assault of energy blasts, and rolled to a different position. He seemed to remember that the shotgun worked well on magical shields, so he switched to that and fired both barrels, his arm wildly swinging from the kick. It appeared to do nothing, so he switched to the rocket launcher. This caused Nightmare Moon to stagger, her shield temporarily fading, but she put it back up again, determination in her eyes. Jeremy reloaded, and as he did so, she fired a bolt of energy at him, hitting him square in the chest and sending him flying back towards the far wall. He hit it with his back, and landed on the floor again using his boots, somewhat winded. Glaring, he shot another rocket at her, and she dodged. Jeremy grinned, and redirected the laser, and the rocket whipped around to hit her from behind, once again breaking the shield and causing her to stagger forward. Before she could react, Jeremy sprang forward and hit her with his steel pipe, using the T-shaped attachment on the end to grab hold of her horn and swing her around into a decorative stone pole.
Shakingly, Nightmare Moon got up. “How are you beating me?” she asked in dismay. Then she shook her head. “No matter – I’ll have you yet!” Lighting up her horn with an electric blue, she issued a bolt in the middle of both of them, blasting Jeremy backward with an explosion that rang through his ears. The building shook, and a portion of the ceiling opened, revealing that the sky had been split into day and night once again. But didn’t the sun and moon look closer? Jeremy looked again, and his dread was confirmed. Nightmare Moon was using Celestia’s magic to move the two celestial bodies closer together, into a collision trajectory. “Still willing to fight? I’ll kill everyone unless you give in!” Nightmare Moon raged. Jeremy looked at her – by moving the two huge objects, she was evidently tiring herself out even further. She didn’t even have her blue magical shield up.
“I’ll just have to kill you faster, then!” Jeremy retorted, and whipped out the portal gun.
Aiming at the wall some distance away, he fired a blue portal and rapidly aimed at Nightmare Moon, firing an orange portal under her hooves. She fell through, and was momentarily distracted enough for him to whip out the shotgun, scoring a direct hit to her side and causing blue blood to fly everywhere. Nightmare Moon gasped for a while, before regaining her footing unsteadily. “I’ll murder you for that!” she screamed, and forgetting about her magic, launched herself forward, her hoof connecting with his chest. Jeremy skidded backward, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain. He had to keep going.
Jeremy gave Nightmare Moon a vicious uppercut, noting the satisfactory feeling of having his fist slam into someone’s jaw. Nightmare Moon jerked back, and issued another magical bolt of energy – clearly she was faking having run out of magic. Jeremy was blown high, high up into the air, slamming against the ceiling. As he fell, he took out his assault rifle and issued a stream of bullets towards her, most of them connecting. As he landed, he noted that Nightmare Moon’s injuries were eerily in the exact same place as Luna’s – not important. He had to concentrate on winning. He pulled out the shotgun again, and aimed at her face, hoping to end it quickly.
He was disappointed, however, when she simply bowed her head, and her blue armored helmet absorbed the shock, the bullets harmlessly clattering off of it. “Your bullets are as weak as you are!” Nightmare Moon taunted, blasting energy all around him. In the confusion, the stone walls began to turn to dust, and Jeremy was quickly blinded. He couldn’t afford to start shooting everywhere, as he might hit Luna, Celestia or Chrysalis. Speaking of which, where was Celestia? Oh, there she was – chained to the wall, like everyone else. God dammit .
As the dust cleared, Jeremy spotted Nightmare Moon on the opposite side of the room. She looked as exhausted as Jeremy felt, but the sun and moon looked as though they were almost touching – he didn’t have much time to spare. He took another shot with the shotgun, and a few pellets connected, spinning her around. He sprang forward, as she tried to regain her senses, and starting hitting her in the back with the steel pipe, noting with a grim pleasure the screams of pain coming from her lips. Gone was any sense of honor, or decency in battle – either he killed her, or everyone died. To his dismay, she was able to light up her horn, stealing his shotgun away from him and pointing it at him. With a click, she fired, and Jeremy was blasted backwards.
The pain was unimaginable - the ceramic nanoplating could only take so much abuse, and Jeremy looked down at the dark red stain on his body. The bullets had certainly penetrated, but the suit had managed to hold back most of the force. He lay on the ground, blood seeping out in rivulets as he struggled to make his body respond. Get up. Get up! GET UP! he desperately thought, and finally struggled into a sitting position. Nightmare Moon had dropped the shotgun, maybe out of pain or exhaustion, and all three mares chained to the wall were calling his name. Shakingly, he got to his feet, and Nightmare Moon regarded him with amazement. "How are you getting up from that? You're dying !" she screamed in rage.
"Not the first time I've been shot," Jeremy grunted by way of reply. Still, he didn't think he could handle much more of this - his breathing was rapid and irregular, and his vision pulsed red as he forced himself into a standing position. Taking out his assault rifle once more, he issued a spray of bullets, catching Nightmare Moon on the neck only once. The gun jerked out of his hands, and he slumped back to the wall, exhausted and nearly dead.
//{end}
//{Portal 2 OST – Your Precious Moon}
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Nightmare Moon swayed for a moment, before collapsing. Jeremy watched her anxiously, as she struggled to get up, before giving up, exhausted. To his dismay, she began to laugh. “Foal! My spell is still in effect – even if I die, you’ll never avert the sun and moon from their course! If I can’t have you, NO ONE CAN!” Jeremy looked up to find that the sun and moon looked as though they were in fact touching – and he became aware of the music that was pumping through his speakers. He looked at Luna, unsure. She sadly nodded, tears streaming down her face. Shakingly, Jeremy aimed a portal at the ground between him and Nightmare Moon, grateful that the surface here allowed a portal. “Wait. What are you doing? What is that music? What did she just tell you ?!” Nightmare Moon demanded.
“Jeremy!” Celestia screamed at him, and he stopped what he was doing to look at her. “I’m so, so sorry,” she said, tears streaming down her face.
Jeremy gave her a calm, casual smile. “It’s alright,” he said.
As he aimed at the ceiling, right towards the middle of the colliding spheres, Jeremy took a moment to pray to whatever gods existed in this once-happy world. He prayed that his shot would land in the right place. He prayed his crazy plan would work. But most of all? He prayed that Luna, Chrysalis, and Celestia would forget him, and move on. He was not important. What was important was that they were happy. With this in mind, he pulled the trigger, and the portal’s sound seemed to echo around the room as the blue ball disappeared off into the distance. As soon as it opened, Jeremy felt the pressure drop, and both he and Nightmare Moon were sucked through.
Thankfully, Luna, Celestia and Chrysalis were still chained to the wall, so they were saved. As he flew from the moon, towards the sun, Jeremy could only concentrate on two things. One, it was getting really hot, really fast – he estimated he had seconds before he burned up. Two, he had to do what he got here to do. Gripping the portal gun tightly in both hands, he brought up his knee, and slammed the gun down on it. It didn’t do anything, so he tried again. Break it ! He thought to Luna, and she gave him a feeling of utter sadness. He tried again, and it cracked. “You idiot!” Nightmare Moon screamed, the sound traveling through space somehow. “We’ll both die!”
Jeremy looked up at her, somehow managing to speak in the vacuum. “That’s the plan,” he replied, grinning like a madman, and brought the portal gun down again on his knee, one last time. It broke in half, and the black hole hidden within began to glow and emit light. Jeremy stared, entranced, as it rapidly expanded, engulfing him and the screaming, terrified Nightmare Moon. For a moment, he felt utterly at peace. And then Jeremy stopped feeling anything at all.
//{end}
Jeremy slowly became aware that he was still there, somehow, as if his consciousness still held itself together. He opened his eyes – when had he closed them? and found that he was in some part of space, the stars twinkling all around him. Screens lined an invisible hallway stretching off into the distance, and Jeremy noticed they depicted scenes of his recent adventure. Some were of him singing, or laughing. Some were him fighting – Jeremy noted the furious, determined look in his eyes. Was he really that angry? And some were just of him drawing, calmly sketching out his latest ideas onto a sheet of blank paper. The last featured a massive explosion between the sun and moon, the shockwave powerful enough to stop the moon and begin moving it in the other direction. Jeremy gave a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping forward - he seriously hadn't expected that to work so well.
“You did it!” a voice said, causing him to spin around, looking for the source. Finding none, he cautiously looked at the far end of the corridor, in case the source was out of sight.
“…Hello?” he ventured, noting that his voice still worked somehow. A shining figure appeared – like Celestia, but older somehow. “Celestia? Is that you?” he asked.
The figure laughed. “No. I hate to disappoint, but I am in fact Celestia’s mother – my name is Queen Solaris.” A deeper, male voice chuckled, and a midnight blue alicorn walked into view, his mane and beard a rich, royal blue.
“And I am King Orion, Luna’s father.” Jeremy found he could move, and walked forward.
“…Am I dead?” he asked. Solaris laughed.
“All in all, I think not. After all, we would know – wouldn’t we, dear?” she asked Orion, who chuckled again.
“After our daughters took over the sun and the moon, we became guardians of Fate – as alicorns, we could choose between this or death.” Jeremy took a moment to collect his thoughts.
“So… you’re sort of dead, I’m still alive somehow, and what about Nightmare Moon?” he asked. Orion looked at Solaris, and they both looked grim.
“She is most definitely dead.” Orion answered.
“Ah. Okay then. So… can I… go back?” Jeremy asked. To his dismay, Orion shook his head.
“We have knowledge of future events, and I’m sorry to inform you that you will be returning to Earth.” Jeremy looked down forlornly, giving a deep sigh as he tried not to burst into tears.
“Can I at least… say goodbye?” Orion looked at Solaris again, who nodded once.
“We think that would be alright. Say, how about you do it in the form of a song? I did rather enjoy those karaoke nights – first time I’ve seen my daughter that happy since she was a tiny little filly.” Jeremy gave him a small smile – he knew which song to sing. He found the strange dimension around him fading, and readied himself.
Celestia, Luna, and Chrysalis were in the Canterlot throne room, gathered for a funeral. Luna was evidently crying, and so was Celestia. Chrysalis looked as though she were about to cry, and Cadance, surprisingly enough, was comforting her. How many days had it been since he had sacrificed himself? he wondered. There was no eulogy being told – perhaps it had already been given. Well, now was as good a time to start as any. He strode forward, slowly fading into view, and the music started. Luna and Celestia looked up in shock, and Chrysalis toppled over from her chair.
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“Switch on the sky, and the stars glow for you,” he sang, and reached over to hug Luna. To his delight, he physically felt her, despite being a spirit. “Go see the world, ‘cause it’s all so brand-new! Don’t close your eyes, ‘cause your future’s ready to shine, it’s just a matter of time – before we learn how to fly ! Welcome to the rhythm of the night ! There’s something in the air you can’t deny…” he continued, and kissed her on the lips, savoring the kiss like nothing else.
“It’s been fun but now I’ve got to go! Life is way too short to take it slow! But before I go and hit the road; I’ve gotta know! Till then? When can I see you again?” He sang loudly, spinning her around in a classic and very old-fashioned style of dance.
As he sang, Jeremy went to each pony he had known – first Luna, then Celestia, then Chrysalis, and Cadance too, and hugged them, punctuating each heartfelt goodbye with a chorus of “When can I see you again?” It felt like he was going through all the emotions he had never got to express, all the things he had never got around to doing. It felt so good. And it felt so bad. Jeremy started crying about halfway through – he didn’t really know whether they were tears of joy or sorrow, but it certainly didn’t affect the mood.
Finally, he finished, quietly echoing a sentiment of a song he knew to reflect his deepest fears and desires, all in one. “Tell me when~? When can I see you again…” he finished, whispering. To his sorrow, he began to once again fade, and Luna rushed forward, tackling him for one final hug and sobbing. Jeremy returned the hug – if he actually died right now, he would almost be okay with it. "I'm okay," he whispered to her. "I'm fine, I'm alive..."
As he faded from existence, he tried to hold on to the feeling of Luna’s embrace, but was met only with empty air. And… a feeling of falling?
Jeremy woke up in his own bed, instantly springing into a sitting position. He looked around. This was his room, back on Earth. He was wearing pajamas, and soaked with sweat. “Oh, hell no ,” Jeremy angrily exclaimed. Like hell it was all a dream! He got up, and strode forward to his computer to write a message to his friend, only stopping when he noticed his backpack. It was filled with morphine and medical supplies – he had forgotten to take it, back when all of this started. “Okay, so the school incident wasn’t a dream,” he muttered darkly.
Continuing to his computer, which was only in the next room over, he found that his chair was occupied by a folded set of clothing, too dark to see. He went over and flipped the light switch, and it was revealed to be his nanoarmored suit, complete with speakers and severe damage. As he watched, the damage to the suit fixed itself, and he picked it up. A small square of paper fell out, and he reached down and picked it up, shaking with nerves. It was a photograph of Luna, holding the portal gun in a heroic pose, with two portals in the background. ‘“Enjoy your gift!” ~Luna’ was written on the back. Evidently, she had meant to give this to him, but it had gotten lost - probably transported through time and space to here, instead. Jeremy clutched the photo to his chest, drinking in the feeling that it had all been real.
Chapter 21
12-19-13, 4:07 P.M.
Jeremy strolled along the edge of the pool, drinking in the sights and sounds of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. The hotel here was absolutely ridiculous – 7 or so pools, one with a miniature slide and another with a bar, a hot, sunny beach just a minute’s walk away, and all the relaxation he could ever hope for. Things were pretty nice here – well worth what he had been going through in the past few months.
To start with, he had been feeling down for quite a while now. When he had returned from Equestria after sacrificing his life to save the world, he had found that Luna and Celestia’s mysterious alicorn parents had honored the agreement between him and Luna. He had returned the very night after leaving, so effectively no time had passed at all in the human world.
Of course, the very next day he was pestered by reporters, who all lined up to get a look at ‘the teenage hero’. Jeremy merely grimaced, closed the blinds and doors, and stayed inside for the remainder of that day, getting back in touch with all the friends he had left behind via online contact, especially Sam and Jackie - two people he was actually happy to hear from, if not see. After he went through the motions of discussing the School Incident, there wasn’t much to talk about with them – they too were recuperating from it, but they had families to recuperate with. Speaking of which, according to a few questions hurled his way, his fresh lack of parental guardians was a point of major confusion among the vigorous discussions pertaining to his killing spree at the high school.
He had spent most of that September, as well as the majority of October answering trial summons, getting a lawyer, and listening to a jury debate on whether he should be tried for mass murder or not. Unsurprisingly, due to the nature of the incident, he was quickly acquitted of all charges, and as with all one-time celebrities, left to fade into obscurity. This was just how Jeremy preferred things, so he kept a low profile online, staying in contact only with his closest circles of friends. The following months, he had gone back to school to finish his high school diploma. There was the usual congratulations and such for defending the school, but Jeremy wasn’t feeling any of it – though he really did try his hardest to act enthusiastic that he had accomplished such a feat. Eventually, people caught on and left him alone, although there was still whispering and pointing in the corridors when he walked by, headphones in and ignoring everyone else as he walked to his next class. The whispers never ceased, no matter where he went.
Jeremy missed Luna, Chrysalis, and even Celestia so much, it was like an ache in his chest. Of course, he kept up on the episodes, hoping for a glimpse of any of them – though Luna was rarely featured at best, and Chrysalis seemed unlikely to ever make a reappearance. To his surprise, the third season had started in late November, featuring the scene with Twilight Sparkle that he narrowly missed appearing in, weeks before. How did time work between their two universes? He often wondered. Had it been days since Luna last saw him? Weeks, months, years even? How would he know? He spent weeks attempting to research some sort of chronological establishment, only to be frustrated again and again.
He was therefore very surprised when Hasbro Studios contacted him for a private meeting. They provided a plane to Los Angeles and a hotel for him to stay in, which Jeremy thought was generous – while all his parents’ money was in the process of being transferred to him, he had no idea how to reserve a plane or hotel. Yet another thing he should have learned.
When he entered the meeting room, the table was covered with half-finished sketches and attempts at animation scenes, always with him somewhere in the background. Some Jeremy recognized immediately, such as a scene of him in a gruesome, acidic green bath of changeling blood, firing off shots into some unseen foe. More were parts he would never have recognized had he not been paying attention – a shot of him walking to his apartment, a sketch of him speaking with Luna in the background of some other ponies. He stared at that one for a while – a relic of a time he wanted both to forget and remember for as long as he lived.
Hasbro informed him that they had been trying to draw up episodes again and again, and he kept appearing. Evidently, they knew about some of the changeling war, but not all of it, so Jeremy remained silent on that particular matter. He politely thanked them for their time and effort, and apologized that he couldn’t say any more on the matter, lying through his teeth that he didn’t know what could possibly have occurred. With nothing more to say, they sent him home, and after that attempted to trick him via email into divulging details. While he very nearly slipped up on more than a few occasions, Jeremy thought he had done a rather good job of not breaking the news to them.
Months passed, and the ache in his chest dulled to a cold twinge. The media made a resurgence of his affairs all of a sudden, and after a few days of being pestered he went outside and tiredly pleaded with them to stop, and go home. To his dismay, he was ignored, and eventually a call to the police solved the situation.
Checking online sites, he was equally dismayed to find that some of those same sketches Hasbro showed him had been leaked, but was relieved when they were dismissed as particularly good fanart. Jeremy reviewed the vitriolic comments ‘debunking’ his presence with a grim satisfaction; evidently living in a world of skeptical fans paid off sometimes.
He was also extremely surprised to learn that he had quite the following dedicated to him. Having heard that he was refusing media attention, and being generally depressed and reclusive, a couple intrepid fans had started a crowdfunding approach to get him to an unspecified vacation spot – apparently he could choose. Initially, Jeremy was skeptical of the merits of a vacation – after all, he did want to keep up with his homework, but over time he warmed up to the idea, even contacting the leaders of the attempt to express his gratitude. When the money was raised, he found a check in the mail addressed to him. Thankfully, he had since learned how to charter plane flights and reserve hotels, and he picked winter break as a good time to take a week off. His teachers were supportive as well, refusing to accept his doing homework over the vacation and insisting that he simply enjoy himself.
So, he was here – Cabo San Lucas. He had picked this location after reviewing a few of his parents’ documents – they were a planning sort when it came to vacations and getaways, and this was their most-researched destination, implying that they had intended to take him here. Jeremy could see why: This was a really good vacation site. Here, the tourists only had a vague knowledge of his stunts up north, and while the check-in lady recognized his name, she merely held a finger to her lips and smiled. For the first time in months, Jeremy had smiled back.
It wasn’t that he was crying, or sad, or even angry. Depression was a different feeling – as though there was a void inside you, something physically missing from your state of being that ate at the core of your self-identity. Jeremy was constantly spending his waking hours tormented by things he should have done better, and his dreaming hours were consumed by thoughts of the past. All the psychologists online said he had to make an effort to move on, and find something new, but it was hard, so much harder than he had anticipated.
He dedicated his time nowadays to leisure – reading up on the latest online comics, or manga, or just gaming with a few random strangers over the Internet. More emails from Hasbro employees came, and they were starting to get to him. Eventually, after one particularly smug one informing him that he had to be involved somehow, using all sorts of proofs that he thought tangential at best but verifiable at worst, he responded with a simple “Please stop. It’s over, and it’ll never happen again. I’m sorry.” The emails stopped for a few days after that.
One day, he was feeling particularly brave, and ordered food while still on the beach, like he saw others doing. It was an odd feeling to eat on the beach, but pretty enjoyable, he reflected as he eagerly finished off his plate of fries. He was tempted to order seconds, but felt it would be a waste of money, and instead decided to simply lay back and enjoy the sunshine.
He sat up with a jolt as someone called his name, far off in the distance. Looking around, he didn’t see anyone looking at him or making any obvious cues, so he laid back down, attempting to resume his relaxed position. Unfortunately, some sand had decided to make its way into his bathing suit, and he simply could not get comfortable. Grimacing with irritation, he headed up the many stairs, elevators and sunlit concrete walkways to his personal hotel room.
It was spacious, comprised of two adjoined rooms. One was host to simply two beds and a bathroom, while the other had the rest of the trappings of a modern hotel room – wide-open kitchen, TV, and another bedroom and bathroom. He opened a carton of a passionfruit-orange-guava drink mix – it was easily his favorite part about being here, though he was careful not to drink too much at once to avoid running out. Checking his email, he found a curious apology note from a Hasbro employee. Opening it, he read that they had evidently figured it out – he was depressed at the thought of never seeing Equestria again. While they apologized, saying they didn’t know how to get him back or even if they could, they informed him that if he did make any more cameo appearances they would announce him as a character, or some other such coverup. Well, it was a generous offer, he thought, but unlikely to ever actually happen. He sent back a short “thank you”, and added that his guess was as good as theirs on the interuniversal logistics of attempting to “write him in”. It occurred to Jeremy that he could ask Hasbro to write in the changelings and their happy ending, but he dismissed this. The last thing Chrysalis would want was more attention from the show – it didn’t have a chance of ending well. He vaguely attempted to play some games before quickly giving up, not finding any fun in them. Jeremy went through the motions of checking the few social sites he attended regularly, and after smiling at some of the funnier posts he closed his browser and went off to find dinner.
His plate was stocked with an odd combination of both vegetarian and meat-containing dishes – a curious side effect of returning to the meat-imbued culture of America after a month-long vegetarian isolation from the substance had rendered him able to enjoy both types of food. He did feel a little bit guilty about eating meat when he had gone back to the cafeteria food, but reminded himself that anyone who could have criticized him for it had no way of doing so.
This was also another point of wonder for him: Luna had clearly had the ability to enter his universe. Therefore, why hadn’t she tracked him down yet? A memory flashed in his mind of her explaining that she had entered his universe and planet by pure, random chance. Jeremy gave a slight smile – he had long since learned that the odds of that were truly astronomically against, assuming most universes were comprised mostly of the endless vacuum of space. Luck, or design? was another thing he thought about, but the circular logic loops he found himself entrenched in often left him with a pounding headache, so he tried not to think about that one too much.
Heading home from the diner, he felt different: An insistent buzz reverberated through his brain, reminiscent of an oncoming migraine but strangely painless. Jeremy simply assumed he was experiencing the first stages of the aforementioned migraine, and quickly drained the rest of his water in an effort to stay hydrated.
12-19-13, 12:06 A.M.
A few short hours later, he was lying in bed, attempting to sleep. The buzz was back, and it sure as hell wasn’t leaving him alone. In an effort to distract himself, Jeremy messed with the bedside radio, finally coming up with an oddly soothing underwater sound loop that could also be mistaken for the sounds of dark caverns and tunnels. With this playing softly next to him, it was a little more bearable, but something in him still didn’t want to go to sleep.
Resigning himself to a sleepless night, he lay back in bed and opened his eyes, adjusting the bedsheets so he wouldn’t be so hot. Not that it helped – he was not used to such warm climates. The TV certainly wouldn’t help, either – nothing he was interested in was on at such a late time of night, and he wasn’t really all that enamored of TV anyway.
Jeremy gradually became aware that someone was shining a light down in the courtyard, where all the pools were. The entire hotel was in a “U” shape around the pools, so anyone crossing through them was visible from all angles. He rolled over, but it only got brighter – in fact, he realized as he looked back, the light was pointing directly at his window. As he noticed, it moved away – and then tentatively came back. Now truly annoyed, he swung his legs over and hopped out of bed, opening the glass screen to examine his erstwhile grievance. He could just barely make out…
Jeremy rubbed his eyes and looked again.
Princess Celestia was staring up at him, seven stories down, her horn emitting the cone of light that had irritated him so.
Chapter 22
After so many months spent agonizing, Jeremy simply stared at Celestia, and she stared back. For a minute, they didn’t break eye contact. Jeremy couldn’t believe it. She was back – she’d come back for him. Part of him refused to accept that it was real, that this was all clearly just a dream. A second later, she had teleported right in front of him, causing him to silently stumble back into the darkness of his room. They spent another moment just staring at each other, Jeremy noticing that Celestia looked tired. In turn, she appeared to be examining his physical differences – a slight change in height, as well as the beginnings of a beard.
“…Jeremy? Is it really you?” Celestia finally spoke, still looking at him. Apparently his thoughts were answer enough, because she immediately hugged him, head on his shoulder and tears streaming down her face. “I am so, so sorry for how I treated you,” she frantically apologized.
“No… really, it’s alright,” Jeremy said, patting her hair in an attempt to console her, and still extremely shocked by her sudden return. She was apparently unconvinced, and continued gently sobbing into his shoulder. After a moment, he gave up any attempt to be stoic and joined in, shoulders heaving slightly as he buried himself in her mane, sobbing out of both joy and sorrow. All the tears he had shed those many months ago came back with a vengeance, and for a long time they stood like that, holding each other and crying their eyes out. Finally, Celestia stopped sniffling long enough to speak.
“I was selfish, and wrong, and I want to make it up to you. But… if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I can respect that,” she hurriedly amended.
“I... you mean it?” he asked, his voice sounding small.
"With every atom of my body," Celestia replied.
Jeremy looked at her, still shocked by her sudden reappearance. It occurred to him that she was waiting on his response, and he gave a shaky smile. "You have no idea how I've wanted to hear that," he replied, and promptly went right back to crying into her shoulder.
After giving him a watery smile in return, Celestia hugged him once more, and Jeremy felt as though he were having the life crushed out of his ribcage – and yet, he was infused with a feeling that something was being created down there – as though the void in his chest had finally begun to fill.
Sensing this, Celestia stepped back, apologizing with a quick “Sorry!” Jeremy rolled his eyes and gave her an even tighter hug, wordlessly expressing his gratitude at her presence. "Thanks for coming back," he whispered.
He led her through his hotel room to the kitchen, and poured her a cup of the sweet passionfruit-orange-guava nectar. He just had to ask the first question on his mind. “How long?” he quietly asked her as he set her cup down on the table. Celestia seemed confused for a short moment, but quickly understood.
“Not long. Perhaps three months? It's the middle of winter for us. But… you look so different… how long has it been for you?” Jeremy sighed deeply, partially relieved but even more saddened by the time gap.
“It’s been a month longer for me, due to time travel,” he informed her, and Celestia clapped a hoof to her mouth, shocked.
“I – I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” she sympathized. Jeremy turned on the light, and Celestia’s brilliant white coat temporarily blinded him, causing him to look away while his eyes adjusted.
Jeremy decided to give her a more exact estimate. “It’s been around four months, give or take a few days – I got sent back in time to early September, and right now it’s late December.” Celestia almost looked as though she were about to start crying again, and Jeremy sat down heavily next to her, all thought of sleep gone.
“How did you find me? Were you seen? And… where’s Luna?” he asked, almost dreading the answers.
Celestia hesitated for a moment before answering. “I found you by use of a simple tracking spell, combined with the use of one of your ingenious ‘portals’. I arrived at your house, to find it empty. Another tracking spell slowly led me down here – you may have heard a buzzing when I got close,” she explained. “I made sure to be invisible for almost all of the trip, and apart from a few close misses with some strange giant flying metal devices, made it here just fine. As for Luna… she insisted that I go find you. I believe her reasoning was to prove that she trusted me once again… and you can too.”
Jeremy smiled. “So she’s alright? And Chrysalis too?” Celestia returned his smile, sipping from her cup and apparently enjoying the taste.
“Well, Luna seemed about as sad as you were when I last left her. Though she agreed to ruling in my absence, and to our duties of the sun and moon, she will only truly begin to heal when you return to her. As for Chrysalis…” here Celestia’s smile turned to a frown, but one of concern rather than disgust or hatred.
“Chrysalis too mourns your loss, but she is also concerned with her state as queen. She claimed you were to support her position by force, but died before you could do such a thing. Is this true?” Celestia asked, and Jeremy nodded.
“One of my biggest regrets was that I couldn’t follow through with that – is there still time to do so?” To his relief, Celestia nodded.
“Whatever event takes place between the hives, it does not occur for a week or more. We have sent guards to the hive to assist her, but Chrysalis has refused all help from us – maybe you could help convince her.” Jeremy nodded once more.
“So, the portal to Equestria’s still at my house?” he asked.
Celestia shook her head. “I closed it after arriving, so no one could enter while I was absent. I’ll re-open it when we get back – that shouldn’t be too hard now.” Jeremy nodded appreciatively. Then a thought occurred to him.
“Hey… Could we stay here for a while? Just you and me?” Celestia nodded.
“It does look rather nice. How’d you manage to stay here?” Jeremy briefly explained, and she looked surprised.
“So humans can be generous after all,” she mused.
“Rarely,” Jeremy replied, back to frowning. He was grateful, but that wouldn’t stop his cynical side any day of the week.
They retired to bed, Celestia respectfully choosing the bed next to him. After a moment, Jeremy got up and crawled into her bed, hugging her tightly. Surprised, Celestia remained still for a moment before returning the hug with her wings. And for the first time in a long time, Jeremy slept peacefully.
12-20-13, 9:44 A.M.
When Jeremy woke up, he heard the sounds of cooking in the next room, instantly quieting any fears that the event last night had merely been the result of some fever dream. True enough, Celestia was standing in the kitchen over a sliced cantaloupe and a few quesadillas. She smiled as he came in. “I got up to raise the sun, but forgot I didn’t have to do that here,” she laughed by way of greeting. "So, I'm allowed to cook breakfast for you, right?" she asked, sounding nervous. "There aren't any human customs against that?"
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "No... no, there aren't," he answered. Celestia relaxed, and he looked at her suspiciously, wanting to say something but also not wanting to come off as rude.
After a moment of awkward staring, Jeremy chuckled – and as he did, he began to remember how much he missed this feeling. The feeling that everything was right with the world… A guy could get addicted to this. He walked over and hugged Celestia once more. "Wow, I didn't think you'd be so... affectionate," Celestia responded, blushing. "It's just... I thought I'd never get the chance to see you again... Sorry," Jeremy muttered.
A few hours later, things had become significantly more relaxed. Jeremy and Celestia lay on the couches, simply enjoying each other's company and relaxing. “So… I don’t think people would react too well if you were seen in public as an alicorn. Maybe we could transform you into a convincing human?” Jeremy mused. Celestia looked at him.
“Why would I need to be seen in public?” she asked, confused. Jeremy grinned.
“What, did you think I was going to lock you in here? If I'm taking time off, it's only fair you should too.” Celestia smiled back. Lighting up her horn, she transformed into a form halfway between human and pony – the feet and hands, as well as the peculiar head shape and breasts were there. She had also kept her height, being slightly shorter than he was. However… “Humans aren’t normally that white – probably want a shade of tan, or even brown,” Jeremy commented, examining her appearance more thoroughly. After a few more trivial details, Celestia resembled a passable human. She tottered around on her legs for a bit, and Jeremy demonstrated walking for her. A few minutes of stumbling around passed, and Jeremy had to catch her more than once before she got the hang of it. “Alright, ready?” he asked. Celestia had created a fiery orange bathing suit for the day, and the effect on her skin was striking.
They slowly passed through the crowds of tourists and the occasional staff. Finally, they found the stairs down to the beach, which Celestia had some trouble with. She noted the vendors who haggled their various items up and down the beach. Jeremy, having long since gotten used to their presence, simply ignored them – they were already quite busy. They traipsed across the hot sand, Jeremy thanking himself for remembering to wear flip-flops – he’d burned himself on the hot sand just a day ago, and had no desire to repeat the experience.
12-20-13, 2:00 P.M.
It had been a pretty relaxing day, as Jeremy and Celestia enjoyed the smooth, clear ocean, and sunbathed on the pool chairs that had been placed in neat rows, with large umbrellas providing shade. Jeremy couldn’t get over how good he felt now that the ponies were back in his life – the past few months seemed like a distant memory, another person, even. As they were relaxing in the shade after a particularly playful swim, Celestia turned to look at Jeremy, distracting him from his book. “…How is it so sunny here, anyway?” she asked.
Jeremy was glad to remember the answer. “We’re near the middle of the planet. Here, the temperature’s pretty much like this for quite a lot of the year, because the Earth is tilted and heats up based on where light from the Sun hits it. Since we’re so close to the middle, this place gets light almost all the time.” Celestia nodded thoughtfully.
After a short lunch, they lounged about in the hotel room, Jeremy finishing his book and Celestia starting one he had finished the day before. “You have quite the voracious literary appetite,” she commented. Jeremy chuckled as he turned the page.
“Yeah, I’m a bit of a speedreader. Dunno why, it's just how I read things.” Celestia gave him a slight smile as she opened her novel, and the two simply read for a while, Celestia occasionally asking questions about the book series.
12-20-13, 8:42 P.M.
“So, looks like I’m missing Christmas again,” Jeremy commented again as he flicked through online sites, taking a renewed pleasure in showing Celestia how each one worked.
“What’s Christmas?” Celestia asked curiously. Jeremy tried to remember the name of the equivalent Equestrian holiday.
“Like… Hearth’s Warming Eve, but with gifts and pine trees,” he explained. Celestia nodded, intrigued. “We decorate the pine tree with ornaments – a family tradition for us was to pick out a single ornament and mark our name and the year on it, so we could keep a running tally,” Jeremy continued. “Then, each family member gets at least one gift for someone else – I was kind of bad at that part,” he muttered. “Mom and Dad were always providing the most gifts to everyone. Anyway, the mascot is this guy called ‘Santa’ – legend says he delivers all the presents to the kids who’ve been good, and only gives sacks of coal to the bad kids. Although, I could use a sack of coal…” Jeremy finished, now lost in thought.
Celestia smirked. “I’m sure we could dig something up,” she joked, and Jeremy laughed.
Jeremy began to walk Celestia through gaming – she wasn’t quite as interested as he seemed to remember Luna had been, but she listened nonetheless. Trying her hoof at some of the games, she seemed to be quite good at the simple puzzle games, but flat-out refused the ones involving killing. “I’m sorry, I just don't enjoy it,” she apologized.
“That’s okay, I’ve got plenty of games that are less bloody,” Jeremy replied.
They spent another few days like this, and Celestia expressed the desire to actually ‘ride’ a plane, having since learned what they were. Jeremy agreed, though he cautioned her that the experience was quite boring in between takeoff and landing.
Finally, it was time to leave Mexico in favor of the significantly colder and windier outskirts of Seattle. Celestia had transformed into a human for the journey, and Jeremy bought a last-minute ticket for her on the flight. She was startled by the sudden acceleration of takeoff, and Jeremy avidly stared out the window seat as they rose off the ground, the airport quickly shrinking. Finally, they reached cruising altitude, and passengers were free to move around.
Celestia looked around her. “So… we have to sit here for six hours?” she asked.
“Yep. Told you it was boring,” Jeremy reminded her.
After managing to re-read every single book he had brought along, they landed in the Seattle-Tacoma airport, where they took a shuttle to Jeremy’s car. “God, I hate this thing,” he mentioned. Celestia examined the black model, clearly old and with one side mirror only hanging on by a few wires and some duct tape. He started it up, remembering gratefully that he had filled it up before departing.
12-24-13, 11:37 P.M.
The drive was long, but eventually they made it home. Thankfully, the driveway was devoid of anyone, reporters or otherwise. Jeremy appreciated the gray exterior of his house for a moment, before unloading his luggage and opening the garage door. Celestia helped him move the luggage in, and Jeremy simply shoved it off to the side of the door before heading upstairs. “I’d offer my own bed, but it's kind of small compared to the hotel ones. Mind using the guest bedroom?" he asked Celestia, who nodded. Jeremy went to his own bedroom, getting into pajamas and brushing his teeth before remembering that he had to do something very important. He started up his computer at home, and after waiting a full ten minutes for it to go through all the software checks, opened his email. He paged through the usual spam, marking all of it as ‘read’ before scrolling down. He found the latest email from Hasbro, and clicked ‘Reply’. Frowning in concentration as he stared at the text, Jeremy began to type. “Looks like I might have to take you up on that,” he typed, and added in a smiley face for good measure.
With that sent, he powered the computer down and climbed into bed. “Goodnight, Jeremy,” Celestia’s voice called from across the room and down a hallway.
“G’night, Celestia,” he sleepily responded, before sinking back onto his cool pillow, and slipping off into dreams.
Chapter 23
12-25-13, 8:22 A.M.
Jeremy woke up, an odd twinge in his heart. Today’s the day , he thought. Finally going back . He grinned, and pulled on a pair of long pants and a t-shirt, grabbing a heavy winter jacket.
Celestia, of course, was already up by the time he got downstairs. “Ready?” she asked.
“I still have to pack some things,” Jeremy answered, and she politely nodded. They ate breakfast in silence, and Jeremy went up to hurriedly pack a few comforts – toothbrush and toothpaste, music player, and of course his ever-present armor suit. Before he left, he logged in to his computer, and checked his email. Unsurprisingly, the response had come just a few minutes after he had turned it off, consisting of a simple smiley-face emoticon. Jeremy smiled slightly and turned his computer back off.
Celestia was waiting downstairs, an orange portal swirling on a wall. Jeremy shouldered his backpack, and nodded to her. She gestured for him to enter first, and he did so.
12-25-13, 9:15 A.M.
Jeremy once again marveled at the seemingly instant transportation across universes. He stepped out into what appeared to be Celestia’s private room – it was surprisingly clean. Celestia came through a moment later, closing the portal with her magic just after she came through. “Alright, so where’s Luna?” Jeremy asked her.
Celestia checked a clock on the wall before answering. “She should currently be in the throne room. I hope she isn’t too sleepy – ruling over both the sun and the moon can be hard.” Jeremy understandingly nodded and made his way out the door, Celestia following behind.
As Jeremy got closer and closer to where he remembered the throne room to be, he kept getting these odd twinges of dread. What if she found someone else? What if something had happened, and they could no longer be together? The rational part of his brain argued that these thoughts didn’t make sense, but that didn’t stop Jeremy from having them.
He opened the door out onto the throne room, and Luna was sitting on the throne, evidently addressing royal business. Writing a letter, she hardly looked up as he approached, so he walked directly in front of the throne and casually leaned over. Annoyed, Luna looked up, but her expression changed to that of shock when she saw it was him. Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Merry Christmas,” he joked. After a second of just staring, Luna dropped the letter and quill and tackled him, hugging him with all the might she could muster – which was evidently quite a lot. “Ow – okay, okay , get off, I can’t breathe!” Jeremy laughed.
Luna reluctantly let go, and sized him up. “Thou hast grown,” she commented. “But thou could not have attained even such a small change of height in just three months – and is that facial hair on thy chin?” Jeremy chuckled, and nodded.
“It’s been four months for me.” Luna looked horrified, and Jeremy quickly thought of something better to say. “But it’s fine, really, I’m fine! Point is, I’m back. And Celestia and I are friends now, so that’s cool!” Luna smiled appreciatively.
“We hoped by sending her first, the two of you would have the chance to bond. Glad to see that is the case.”
With that, Celestia quickly took back over her position as ruler of the day, and Luna retired to bed. Jeremy followed her up, discussing what he had been up to over the past few months, and leaving out the parts that were particularly depressing. Luna knew he wasn’t telling her everything, but apparently decided not to press it. They arrived at her room shortly, and Luna looked around before rearing up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “Go see Chrysalis – and when thou get back, we have some catching up to do,” she whispered in his ear. Jeremy nodded once to show he understood, and Luna gently closed the door on him.
So, was his office still open for business? Walking along the snowy streets of Canterlot, he noticed that ponies were back to pointing and whispering. Jeremy smiled, by now long used to it, and walked on.
His office was locked, so he supposed he’d be taking the long way. Heading back to his apartment, he stopped a moment to take in how alien this room felt. The last time he had been here, he had been kidnapped by a possessed Celestia. A stack of papers was sitting on the table – evidently Lyra’s old script. In the closet, he discovered his Long Fall Boots, cleaned and polished. To his satisfaction, he also discovered his office key in a drawer, and slipped it into his pocket. Dropping off his backpack, he set off into the wintry air towards his office again.
The walk back to his office seemed shorter than he had remembered, but he kept reminding himself that everything was smaller here. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, and was shocked to see changelings milling about, working on various projects. One looked up at him and smirked. “Nice try, Keratin. You almost had me going for a moment there.”
Jeremy looked at him confusedly. “Who’s Keratin?” he asked. The changeling stared for a moment, then ducked out of the room. Jeremy looked after it as it headed for the lime-green portal he remembered setting up, quickly vanishing into the dark Hive. After a moment’s hesitation, Jeremy followed.
Chrysalis was hard at work, viciously fighting another changeling with a shell the color of rust. Deciding not to interfere, he watched as she gave him a quick bite to the neck, followed by a kick to the head. The other changeling dropped like a stone, and she hissed in triumph. The changeling from the office earlier skittered up as soon as the fight was done, and using the changelings’ unintelligible language spoke to Chrysalis, pointing at him. Chrysalis whipped around and stared. “Sup,” Jeremy greeted casually, only to find himself on the floor a second later as Chrysalis furiously shook him by the shoulders.
“I’ve been mourning you for months, and you’re not dead? What have you been doing? Where have you been ?” she screeched before collapsing on top of him. Jeremy, by now thoroughly confused and scared, tentatively wrapped his arms around her.
“I came down with a bad case of death, but I got better,” he explained in view of the surrounding changelings, who muttered nervously.
Chrysalis quickly led him back to her room, and forced him to sit. “You are going to tell me everything,” she demanded. Jeremy frowned.
“Not everything,” he argued. “Some things no one but me should know.” Specifically, he was thinking of both the presence of Orion and Solaris, and his depression – two useless details that would only complicate the story. So, he told her what had happened, making it sound like he simply woke up back on Earth, and spent some months there. Chrysalis was quiet for a moment.
“Are you… okay?” she finally asked.
“How so?” Jeremy replied cautiously.
“I can smell the emptiness in your heart – and you said you’d been gone for months ? No, you’re not okay,” she rhetorically answered.
Jeremy frowned. “Okay, yes, I went through some rough times. But that’s not important! What’s important is that I’m back, and you’re still here.”
Chrysalis gave him a smirk. “What, you think I would have died without you?” Jeremy grimaced.
“No, that’s not what I-“ he was cut off as Chrysalis pulled him into a kiss, her fangs gently pressing down on his bottom lip.
“Because you’re completely right,” she answered as she pulled away. Jeremy was still for a moment as he attempted to process that, and Chrysalis softly laughed at his discomfort.
“So… anyway… how’s it going?” Jeremy asked. Chrysalis went back to frowning.
“Not good – the other hives are not backing down on their claims, no matter how many of their ambassadors I defeat. At this rate… we won’t be able to hold out much longer.”
Jeremy sighed. “Well, it’s a good thing I was only gone for a few months in your time,” he mentioned. “Now I can start helping.” Chrysalis brightened.
“You remembered!” she happily exclaimed. Jeremy nodded, smiling slightly. He then remembered another reason he was here.
“Hey, what’s with not accepting Celestia’s help?” he asked. Chrysalis’ lip curled into a disdainful frown.
“If I were to accept such a thing as an entire outside army, I wouldn’t be able to be queen. I’d be seen as weak. But a lone fighter from an outside race… I think I can get away with that,” she mused.
“Okay, good. I don’t want to have to turn into a changeling just to help,” Jeremy mentioned, and Chrysalis looked somewhat hurt.
“What’s wrong with becoming a changeling?” she asked indignantly. Jeremy, embarrassed, scuffed the floor with his shoe.
“Well… I don’t know, I’d like to keep this body.” Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.
“So if say, Luna asked you to become a pony… you wouldn’t go through with it?” Jeremy shook his head, then looked at her suspiciously.
“Is there something you know that I don’t?” he asked. To his surprise, Chrysalis denied this.
“While I know more than you about a number of things, that was purely conjecture.” Accepting this, Jeremy moved on to a different topic.
“So… I don’t know if you know, but Celestia and I have been hanging out for a short while,” he mentioned. Chrysalis looked up, interested.
“Really? I would’ve thought you’d have murdered her on sight,” she remarked. Jeremy was almost hurt.
“Hey! She was possessed, I don’t hate her!” Chrysalis made a calming motion with her front hoof.
“Relax, I was only teasing. Really, you seem unusually sensitive today,” she noted. Jeremy made a short groan of frustration.
“Sorry, it’s just – I had to go back and listen to twelve people try to decide if I was a hero or a murderer. Then, I had to go back to school, where I heard no end of murder jokes. They’re getting a little tiring,” he finished.
Chrysalis nodded sympathetically. “I’ll be sure not to make them, then,” she concluded, and Jeremy tiredly thanked her.
“Anyway, do you think you’re going to be Celestia’s lover?” Chrysalis asked. Jeremy looked at her askance.
“I... I don't know. She's nice now, which is great. But I just feel like this is all going too fast, you know?"
Chrysalis smirked at him. “Two princesses and the reigning queen of every changeling hive in the land are in love with you – why are you complaining?” Jeremy frowned at her, and she laughed.
“Yeah, well… Hopefully the list doesn’t get any longer,” he muttered.
Chrysalis seemed confused by this, but amended her expression a second later. “Right, right, you’re supposed to be monogamous,” she thought out loud. Jeremy nodded.
“Even if all three of you are perfect, it just feels weird to be with three different lovers – not to mention the whole ‘alien’ thing.”
They made small talk for the rest of the evening, and finally Jeremy departed, promising to see Chrysalis early tomorrow. He headed through the office, stopping to say hello to a few changelings who were still working. They seemed surprised at his appearance, but otherwise said nothing. Jeremy headed for the castle – after all, he had no reason to stay away from there anymore.
Of course, the pointing and whispering was back with a vengeance. He ignored them, and opened the front doors of the castle. Finding that Luna was still embroiled in official business, and Celestia was also there, he took a seat on the floor beside her throne and waited. Most of the stuff was pretty boring, but he looked up as a letter appeared out of thin air in a puff of green smoke, and Celestia opened the scroll and read it. “Oh! Twilight sent me her latest picture,” Celestia informed Luna, and Jeremy instantly froze in shock. Luna also looked at her in alarm. “…Did I do something wrong?” Celestia asked, noticing their discomfort. After taking a moment to compose himself, Jeremy leaned into view.
“No, nothing’s… nothing’s wrong,” he falteringly answered. Well, at least he had the cold comfort that that scene was a bare second of screen time – but it was going to feature in at least an entire season. Dammit.
Celestia got off her throne, and motioned for Jeremy to follow her. Talk to you later , he thought in Luna’s direction, and she responded with a practiced nod, staring straight ahead. Celestia led him to her personal room, before sitting down on her bed. “Is there something you should be telling me?” she asked.
Jeremy frustratedly took a seat as well. Not this again , he thought. “Okay, yes. But you’ll have to promise to not be mad, and hear me out until the end,” he forewarned. Celestia agreed, and Jeremy began.
When he finished, Celestia looked shocked and dismayed. “Our entire world is a story?” Jeremy made a so-so motion with his hand.
“I recently discovered that my world might have similar origins.” He told her the story of Lyra’s script, commenting on the many parallels and corollaries to his world. Celestia appeared to think for a moment.
“And you said the reason you and Luna reacted was because I was shown opening that letter in the beginning of every episode?”
Jeremy nodded. “So, now someone might notice that there’s a human on the show, and people might start asking questions. I did strike a deal with Hasbro in case this happened, though…” he remarked, thinking hard to himself.
“So is this 'Hasbro' in complete control of our universe, and Lyra is in control of yours?” Celestia thought out loud.
Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t think so, because they contacted me, and said that they tried to write some episodes earlier on, only to find that I mysteriously appeared in their drawings. If they couldn't 'edit me out', that indicates they aren't in complete control - that some things are outside even their scope.” Celestia frowned, and went back to thinking.
“Plus, there’s the time gap to consider,” Jeremy remarked. Celestia looked up.
“Ah, yes. You say that you didn’t see the invasion of the Everfree Forest for about a month after it happened, correct?” Jeremy nodded.
“I wonder how that works – does time pass slower here than there, or something?” he mused. Celestia shrugged.
“The nature of time is not something I have much experience with – it usually gives me a headache just to think about it,” she confessed. Jeremy agreed, and they went back to thinking.
Chapter 24
12-25-13, 9:12 P.M.
“Well, one thing’s obvious enough,” Jeremy remarked.
Celestia looked over at him. “What’s that?” He moved to a more comfortable position.
“I’ve gotta stay away from Twilight Sparkle. Meeting her is pretty much guaranteeing visibility, after all.” Celestia nodded.
“I used to wonder if you simply weren’t interested in her – but that does make more sense.” Jeremy glumly nodded.
Luna walked in, informing them that she had assigned an advisor to official duty for the night while they spent time together. “Isn’t that shirking your job?” Jeremy asked curiously.
“Not really – we are typically allowed to take as much time off as we need for personal duties, and romance certainly counts,” Celestia answered. Jeremy shrugged.
“So, Jeremy… what hast thou been up to?” Luna asked. Jeremy uncomfortably shifted, and explained once more, this time not leaving out the bit about Orion and Solaris. Luna’s eyes widened. “We had presumed them missing…” Celestia too was interested, but made no comment.
“So, then Celestia found me, we hung out for a few days at the beach, and then headed back,” Jeremy finished. Luna had since laid down next to him, and he casually stroked her hair, once again noting its odd properties.
“So, anyway… here’s what I was thinking,” Jeremy continued. “I’d like to leave a portal open to Earth, well-hidden of course, so that I can come and go, and keep track of things both here and there.” Celestia and Luna considered this for a moment.
“We think… that would be possible… but aren’t thou worried about even the possibility of discovery? Surely if thy race is as terrifying as thou say, they would not hesitate to take advantage of a situation,” admonished Luna. Jeremy nodded grimly.
“We’d have to make it so well hidden that only we could access it – whatever that would entail. On our end, a simple spell would probably do it – not even the best technician on our planet could crack magic.”
Celestia nodded thoughtfully. “And with stronger protection on this end, I could certainly see this happening. Perhaps vocal, willing authorization from you would allow others to pass through?” Jeremy agreed.
“This would also allow for Internet on this side, if we could get a cell tower up and running,” he mentioned to Luna, who nodded thoughtfully.
They stayed like that for a few hours, with Jeremy sleepily holding Luna, Celestia serenely watching them. Apart from occasionally moving into more comfortable spots, or adjusting the position of his hands, Luna stayed perfectly still. Jeremy suspected she was having a secret conversation with Celestia, as Celestia would periodically glance at Luna as though she had just said something funny. This was confirmed when Celestia looked at him, asking “So… could I get a belly rub?” Jeremy blushed with the force of a thousand blast furnaces, and Luna burst out laughing. Jeremy looked at her, unamused, and finally groaned and stood up.
“Alright, just this once. And not for an hour this time.” Celestia rolled over, and Jeremy carefully began to rub up and down her belly, eliciting a hum of satisfaction from Celestia.
“Oh, this is as good as you said, Luna…” she gasped as he continued. Jeremy attempted to hold back a giggle at her reaction.
A few minutes later, Celestia was arching her back, holding back a moan as Jeremy continued. Luna watched, grinning with satisfaction. “What even is the attraction of a belly rub, anyway?” Jeremy asked.
Luna laughed. “Tis' like... like a very pleasurable, soft massage,” she answered. Jeremy chuckled as Celestia gave a shuddering breath and kicked a hind leg out, narrowly missing his face. "Oh! Sorry, I..." Celestia trailed off as Jeremy held a finger to her lips.
"Relax, I'm good," he soothed. Reluctantly, Celestia laid back down.
"So, do humans give belly rubs to each other back home?" she asked curiously, and Jeremy winced.
"Not... really... they're typically reserved for significant others, or... pets. Not that I consider either of you on the same level as pets, you're much more than that-" Celestia frowned, sitting up and stopping his hands with her hoof.
"But... I'm not your significant other... or your pet. Aren't you... breaking tradition, then?" she asked worriedly. Jeremy shrugged.
"Celestia, you're a very close friend of mine, and Luna's sister at that. I really don't mind." Celestia looked as though she were about to object, but then sighed and laid her head back down.
"Well... thank you, I suppose," she said, and with that Jeremy went back to rubbing, Celestia quickly letting out a pleased hum.
Ten minutes later, Jeremy took his hands off her, and Celestia reluctantly settled back down into her original position. “That was… something…” she commented, blushing heavily and still smiling.
Jeremy held back laughter at her reaction. “Yep. Glad you enjoyed it,” he replied, uncertain of what else to say for such an odd moment as this.
Finding nothing else to do, Jeremy headed home for the night, hugging both princesses once more as he set off for his old apartment. While he walked, he thought about how violent his last time here was. Sure, there was a whole lot of bloodshed, but he kind of missed opportunities like that to take his anger out on something. Hmm. Did he enjoy hurting others? Jeremy seriously wanted to say no, but a part of him insistently whispered that yes, he did. Ignoring such concerns, he opened his door, and pulled a pair of pajamas and his cellphone out of his backpack. Climbing into bed, he set his cellphone’s alarm, and stayed awake for a few hours before finally dropping off into unconsciousness.
12-26-13, 7:30 A.M.
The soft but insistent buzz of the alarm clock roused him from semi-consciousness. Jeremy estimated he had only had a few hours of sleep – business as usual on a school day. He blearily got dressed, and headed off into the Canterlot morning.
Although the air was cold as ever, and the snow was still out, the sun was out too. Thankfully, he had remembered to pack a jacket, although it was a bit too thin for the cold air, and Jeremy shivered slightly as he treaded through the city streets.
As he approached the office, he heard scuffling inside. Quickening his pace, he wrenched open the door to find a few of Chrysalis’ changelings and one from a different breed, sporting a lilac shell, having a tussle on the lab floor. As soon as they saw him, all three froze. Jeremy looked down at them furiously, before picking the intruder up, an ugly expression on his face. Walking over to the portal, he found Chrysalis dispatching another group of changelings of the same color, and joined in with vigor. After kicking the changeling he had caught into Chrysalis’ path, he picked up a purple changeling skulking around the edges of the fray, and raising it high above his head, bodily slammed it into the floor, repeating this a few times until it seemed to pass out. Yet another interloper was trying to escape the rolling ball of insectoid fury that was Chrysalis, so Jeremy neatly planted a knee in its face and forced it back in. Damn, that felt good , he reflected. What was wrong with him?
The fight was over pretty soon, and Chrysalis panted. “Thanks for the help,” she tiredly commented in his direction, before walking over to the love machine and sitting for a while. Jeremy didn’t dare approach due to the toxic effects of the chemicals it was outputting, and stayed at a respectable distance until Chrysalis finished. As she walked over, there was a new spring in her step and a satisfied grin on her face, although she still looked tired. “If it weren’t for that machine, I’d have been dead long ago. As it stands… thank the Hive the official trials start in just a few days,” she remarked, leading him back into her room.
“So, what’s the plan? You said there was an official trial?” Jeremy asked as they sat down, Chrysalis taking a moment to breathe deeply.
“Yes… How it works is as follows. Each hive takes their strongest contestants, and all of them gather at a previously set location. The contestants are all trapped within the area, and forced to fight to the death for supremacy. Whichever team survives to the end crowns the new changeling ruler.”
Jeremy winced. “That sounds extremely bloody and unnecessary.” Chrysalis frowned.
“It keeps other hives working towards a common cause – overthrowing the current monarch. Plus, it keeps population levels down, as the other hives’ available love is diverted to those who are preparing to fight.” Jeremy nodded.
He didn’t like it, not in the least because it reminded him of the war-economy strategy that had worked so unbearably well back home. Jeremy sighed. “Alright, so I have to actually kill some more changelings. Even though I said I wouldn’t…” he muttered.
Chrysalis looked at him. “What, are you having reservations about killing? It’s a little late for that,” she pointed out.
Jeremy put his head in his hands. “I’m trying to not be a murderer! You know, move past that, become a peaceful member of society?” Chrysalis hissed at him.
“You agreed to this! It’s too late to back out now, you’re fighting for me whether you like it or not!” Jeremy furiously slammed his hand against the ground.
“When I agreed to this idiocy, I was still shell-shocked from being in Equestria! I thought it’d be like before, where they’d just pass out from the pain or something!” For a moment, they glared at each other, before Jeremy looked away. “Fine. Fine . You want me to fight, I’ll fight. I hope you enjoy the bloodbath,” he spat as he stood up and left.
“Hey, wait!” Chrysalis’ voice called out, but he stalked into the labs and closed the portal behind him.
Jeremy sat down at his computer desk, and briefly considered slamming his head into the desk – it would certainly be distracting enough to direct his attention away from his shame. He had just tried to go back on his word – and he’d never live it down. For a while he stayed like that, simply sitting there, head down on the desk, and thinking about how he could have made the conversation go differently. He didn’t cry, although he knew he probably should. Jeremy hadn’t cried in a long time, partially due to the flip-flopping series of events that was his life, and partly because… well. Jeremy supposed he had been undergoing shock ever since the School Incident – he didn’t feel anything but a pounding numbness whenever he tried to think about how many had died at his hands. His recent realization that the blood train wasn’t going to stop there certainly didn’t help, and neither did the fact that he had just alienated one of his few friends on this side. He almost chuckled at the ‘alienated’ joke, but wasn’t feeling up to it.
He slowly became aware of a concerned feeling in his head, and it wasn’t his own. But it wasn’t Luna’s, either – this feeling came from a different source. Who is this? He tried, wondering if he was just being stupid and the feeling really was his own. An image of Celestia’s frowning face flashed in his head, and she replied, sounding as if she were a bit distracted.
Is there something wrong? She queried. Jeremy sent a mental image of him shaking his head, not knowing if it had come through. Just had an argument with Chrysalis, and I don’t want to talk about it, he answered. A feeling of understanding reached him, and ebbed away. Jeremy concentrated for a moment in case anything else was forthcoming, and when nothing happened he sighed once more and logged in to the computer.
It was exactly as he remembered it, games and all. For once, Jeremy avoided the bloodier ones – too many associations with what he didn’t want to deal with. Finding that he didn’t seem to have any games where there wasn’t blood of some sort, he dejectedly signed out of his computer, staring for a while at the black screen.
Getting up, he decided he’d take the day off: Surely Luna and Celestia would understand that he couldn’t cope, right? Part of him was telling him off for even daring to think of skipping work, but he resolutely ignored it and set off for his apartment.
12-26-13, 8:47 A.M.
As he arrived at his apartment, he slipped his shoes off and flopped into his bed, fully dressed. Maybe he would just sleep in for the rest of the day, or something. Jeremy stared up at the ceiling for a few hours, noting every crack and texture, before sinking into oblivion.
He was once again wandering around the halls of his school, but this time he was unarmed. Armed terrorists – or were they changelings? wandered about, and he was desperately trying to avoid them, while wondering where his metal pipe had gotten off to. Without being told, he somehow knew that if one of them saw him, he would be instantly dead. He ducked into a classroom as one of them came around the corner, and instantly fell into open space.
Jeremy landed in a very old-fashioned bedroom, comprised primarily of stone bricks and ornate ironwork. He looked out a window to find Luna outside, looking younger and playing with a stick, using her magic to levitate and swish it around as though she were fencing. He decided to join her, but as he opened the door of the bedroom, it disappeared. He was now trapped in the room, until the wall suddenly vanished, and Luna looked up at him, now back to her current age. Luna teleported up to him.
“What art thou doing here? Is it not daytime?” she asked, concerned. Jeremy was strangely unable to respond until she tapped him on the chest, a breath of air entering his lungs as he seemed to regain consciousness inside the dream.
“I… headed home for the day,” he shamefacedly mumbled. Luna looked at him as though he had sprouted an extra limb.
“And what would cause thou to do that?” she asked, with a hint of indignation – presumably over his leaving his post.
“Chrysalis and I had an argument, and I felt terrible, okay?!” Jeremy burst out suddenly, then sat down heavily in the tall grass. Luna sat by him.
She sighed deeply, wrapping a wing around him. “We understand thou art upset. But thou of all beings should know that thou cannot run away from thy problems.”
Jeremy immediately objected. “I wasn’t running away, I was… I…” It occurred to him that he had done exactly that: run away without solving anything. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “I’m an idiot.”
Luna looked at him sympathetically. “We know it’s hard. What pushed the two of thee into a fight, anyway?”
Jeremy gave a dejected hum. “It was about the whole thing about Chrysalis being challenged,” he clumsily answered. “She told me I’d actually be killing this time, and I kind of flipped out. I don’t want to kill anymore!” he burst out, burying his face in his hands.
Luna seemed unsure what to say. “Do what thou think is best,” she told him, lifting his head up with a hoof and planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. “But first… wake up .”
Chapter 25
12-26-13, 11:34 A.M.
As soon as Jeremy woke up, he flung himself out of bed and strode out of his apartment, heading back towards the office. Speedwalking, he opened the door to find no changelings in the area. Jeremy crossed the room to the portal surface, and pressed the button. With a small shudder, the portal opened to reveal Chrysalis laying in the center of her room, surrounded by tiny changeling babies. She looked up at him, surprised, and Jeremy noticed her eyes were tinged with a chlorophyllic green – was that the changeling equivalent of being red-eyed? Chrysalis looked away.
“So… do you still want to fight, or not?” she asked, getting to the point, and sounding like she had been crying herself. Jeremy lowered his eyes, starring at a wriggler who was tugging at his pants with its mouth. He sighed deeply, sat down, and gave it a quick head rub – it butted his hand with its head, desperate for more.
“I did promise,” he sullenly replied. “And… to be fair, this is kind of my fault. I should have seen this coming,” he finished. Chrysalis nodded, and lifted up a baby who was struggling to walk by the neck and deposited it by her side, where it instantly snuggled up. “So… what’s with all the babies, anyway?” Jeremy asked.
Chrysalis gave a small chuckle. “They always cheer me up when I’m feeling sad – although I doubt you’d agree.” The corner of Jeremy’s mouth quirked into a smile.
“Are you kidding? This is adorable to watch.” Surprised, Chrysalis smiled back. Jeremy continued to pet the tiny baby, then shied away as it attempted to bite him. “Hey!” he exclaimed, startled.
“I don’t know what you were expecting – it’s trying to feed on your love,” Chrysalis explained, half-laughing. Jeremy grimaced and tentatively held out a finger, which the changeling happily latched on to. Chrysalis watched in fascination. "You're... letting it feed off of you?" she asked, confused.
Jeremy nodded. "It's just a baby... and it's so cute !"
Chrysalis stared at him for a while. "Um... Huh. Well... okay, then," she trailed off, watching him. They stayed there for a few minutes, idly playing with the adorable baby changelings as Jeremy tried to think of something else to say.
Jeremy got up, recognizing he still had to work, and Chrysalis watched him through the portal. Remembering something, he stopped and turned around. “Hey, I keep seeing your changelings working on stuff. What’s that all about?” he asked.
Chrysalis embarrassedly twirled a hoof on the floor. “Some of the changelings were interested in all the stuff to do, so I gave them permission to mess around a bit. I hope you don’t mind?” she asked. Jeremy shook his head.
“As long as they don’t break something, I’m okay with it. You might want to ask Luna, though, as she’s in charge of all the official stuff.”
Chrysalis nodded agreeably. "Already did... but you own the office, so I thought I'd ask," she answered, and Jeremy shrugged and nodded. It was hard for him to quite grasp that he was actually in charge of something - it hadn't occurred to him that he would have authority as such. Ah well , Jeremy thought as he took a seat at his desk, examining the placard with his name on it.
He had nearly exhausted drawings for weapons last time, but that didn’t mean some couldn’t use an update or rehash – occasionally drawings were rejected with statements saying that even magic couldn’t provide for that level of technology. Selecting one such drawing, he began to erase the labels of components, writing in new ones.
Jeremy kept at this for a solid hour before his body reminded him that he needed food. Thankfully, lunch was still in session, so he stepped out of the office and locked the door. Celestia was usually present at lunch, so he would get the chance to update her on the situation there. Approaching the food line, he grabbed a plate and set about making a sandwich, avoiding the more species-specific ingredients such as hay and grass.
Quickly finishing, he searched up and down the area for Celestia. Lunch was held in the gardens outside the castle, so it was sometimes hard to see everyone what with the maze of hedges. Walking around, he finally found her, enjoying a donut in a corner. “Hey, Celestia,” he called out as he came within earshot. Celestia looked up. “How’s it going?” she casually asked, setting down her donut on a plate laying on the grass.
“Pretty good,” Jeremy answered. “Got the whole situation with Chrysalis resolved… although I still don’t like it.” He explained his reservations about committing murder once more, and Celestia nodded wisely.
“Not to equivalate the two, but I had similar reservations when I banished my sister to the moon – I always wondered whether there wasn’t some more peaceful course of action. Why don’t you put all that engineering skill towards solving that problem? You might find that the politics would allow for an exception if all other combatants were unable to fight, for instance,” she pointed out. Jeremy nodded thoughtfully.
“That's a pretty good idea, actually. I'd have to see what Chrysalis thinks... See you tonight?” he asked. Celestia nodded, smiling slightly. With that, Jeremy set off back to his office.
Jeremy opened the locked door with his key, and headed towards his desk. Taking out a new sheet of paper, he began to sketch out a few ideas for an incapacitating weapon – something that wouldn’t kill or hurt a changeling in the long run, but would make them unable to fight for at least a few days. A few ideas were instantly discarded as unsafe, and a few more as impractical. Finally, Jeremy had one or two ideas he thought would work, and set about developing these into more finished weapons.
It took him two solid hours to finish drawing, and one more to label everything. Jeremy always found it harder to draw original weapons, as he was used to fitting the technology to a pre-existing container, instead of the other way around. Finally, he was done, and he laid the papers in an “Outbox” tray on his desk before logging into his computer. Selecting a particularly bloody game, he winced a little at the gore – it still reminded him of terrible things – but otherwise thought he could handle it.
Before he knew it, it was dark outside. That meant it would soon be time for dinner, so he brought his current drawing to a decent stopping point and headed out. While he walked, Jeremy reflected on his schedule – school started back up in just a few days, on January 5th. Until then, he was probably going to hang out in Equestria, as this was a hell of a lot better than most winter breaks of his. Dinner was much the same as lunch, only the gardens were lit by lamps, adding an interesting feeling to the area. Jeremy did his usual thing – ate without talking to anyone, put his dishes away, and headed towards the castle.
Celestia was, as usual, waiting on her throne, Luna beside her. As soon as Jeremy entered, Celestia stepped off her throne and approached him. “Hello, Jeremy,” she casually greeted. Celestia then led him off to her private quarters. Once more laying down on her bed, she adopted a somewhat serious pose. “As soon as Luna gets back, we have something to show you,” she informed him. Jeremy nodded.
“I also brought some cool stuff,” he mentioned, and Celestia raised an eyebrow.
They waited for a few minutes, with Celestia returning to her book and Jeremy simply spacing out for a moment. For once, he wasn’t really thinking about anything – a welcome relief after the stressing events of earlier that day.
Luna finally walked in, settling down next to Jeremy. “Sister, thou didn’t show him already, didst thee?” she asked. Celestia shook her head. “Good. In that case, please proceed,” Luna told her, and Celestia pulled out a small rectangle of paper – another brochure, Jeremy realized. “We made it biannual,” Luna commented, and Jeremy read the brochure - another karaoke night?
“I hope that doesn’t inconvenience the planners or civilians too much,” Jeremy mused.
“In fact, we put it to a vote – and the answer was overwhelmingly yes. Even the management didn’t complain. Apparently they’ll enjoy the extra business,” explained Celestia.
“So, more singing. Hmm – the last time I sang, I proposed to someone,” Jeremy pretended to think out loud. “I wonder what could possibly happen this time?” Celestia looked at him, a slight smile on her face.
“Is that a yes?” she asked.
Jeremy laughed. “Yeah, well, it’s pretty much tradition at this point, so why not? Still have to figure out what song to sing – gotta parse all the symbolism and all that.”
Celestia looked at him, intrigued. “There was symbolism? I must have missed it.” Jeremy nodded.
“I try to make all the songs I pick have hidden meanings – it’s kind of fun.” Celestia frowned.
“I wish I could go back over the previous songs, then…” To her evident surprise, Jeremy held up a finger for her to wait and dug around in his pocket, finally pulling out a small cyan square of metal, about an eighth of an inch thick.
“This is a music player,” he explained. “I can listen to thousands of songs at any time I wish, in good quality.” Celestia examined the tiny music player, fascinated. “So, this button turns it on, and you touch the screen or drag it to do stuff,” Jeremy explained. He then held up his pair of earbuds. “These fit in the ears, and play the sounds – that way you can listen to music in private.”
With Jeremy’s help, Celestia donned the earbuds and selected a song at random. Jeremy watched the expression on her face, which looked shocked before transitioning into a delighted smile. “This is amazing!” she commented, taking out one earbud. Jeremy grinned.
“Now, I believe you wanted to hear the songs I used previously – I set up a playlist for those.” He showed her how to reach the playlist, and Celestia scrolled through the action music before tapping the first song after those. Jeremy left her to it, and dug into his pocket again, this time pulling out his cellphone.
Luna appraised the device. “Is this another music player? It looks larger,” she commented. Jeremy shook his head.
“This is a phone,” he replied. “It’s also a miniature computer, text messaging device, music player, calculator, has some very simple games, and does a bunch of other stuff that I almost never use. It’s pretty much my go-to device for when I need to do stuff but can’t find an actual computer.” Luna stared openmouthed, then looked up at him in disbelief.
“Surely thou art joking – such a small device cannot accommodate so many functions,” she declared.
Jeremy merely raised an eyebrow and smiled, entering his password into the phone and showing her each one of the functions. “Gotta love miniaturized transistors,” he commented.
He handed the phone off to Luna, who promptly turned it off. “Oh. Yeah, you’ve gotta be careful with that button,” Jeremy remarked as he turned it back on and re-entered his password. Taking care to avoid the button, Luna scrolled around the phone, mesmerized by the touch screen and its bright colors. Jeremy looked around. “Well, my work here is done – you are both now addicted to modern electronics. Have fun!” he joked.
Celestia smiled, and showed him the screen of his MP3 player. “What do you think about this one?” she asked. Jeremy examined it, and thought deeply. Oddly, it fit very well - he suspected yet more fateful involvement.
“You know what? That works perfectly, let’s do it,” he replied.
Celestia asked to keep the music player a little while longer, and Jeremy reluctantly agreed, wishing that some of the songs on there were a little less silly. Clearly reading his thoughts, Celestia laughed. “Oh, come on, they can’t be that bad,” she replied as she placed the MP3 player on her bedside desk.
Luna giggled as she gave him back his phone. “So, we believe Celestia owes thee a massage this time,” Luna commented in Celestia’s direction, eliciting a blush from her.
“Oh, we’re still doing that trade agreement?” Jeremy remarked, grinning. He got up and laid on the bed next to Celestia.
“Sister, I’m unsure of what to do here…” Celestia admitted, looking at Jeremy.
“Just follow my lead,” Luna said, and started. Jeremy quickly gave himself over to the pleasurable sensation of their hooves working out the kinks in his joints, and he was even aware of making a few moans.
What seemed like an eternity and also a split second later, they took their hooves off of him, and Jeremy got up. “Oh, thou actually managed to stay awake this time,” Luna commented. Jeremy gave a quiet laugh, and Celestia looked over at Luna.
“Did he fall asleep when you did this?” Luna nodded, and Jeremy blushed. Celestia chuckled, and Jeremy promptly blushed even harder.
“So… is this what you two do in your off hours?” Jeremy asked. Celestia shrugged.
“When one spends their working hours constantly answering questions, making public appearances and ruling a country, a little time off can be just what one needs.” Jeremy understood this, and nodded.
“Honestly, sister, thou make us sound so boring,” Luna commented. Celestia laughed.
“I swear, we’re interesting!” she fake-insisted.
“You sure?” Jeremy commented mockingly.
Celestia leveled her gaze at him. “Want me to prove it?” she seductively replied. Jeremy immediately shut up, and Luna burst into laughter. Jeremy joined in after a second or two.
12-27-13, 12:46 A.M.
At about this time, Jeremy realized he should probably head to bed. He excused himself politely, and headed back to his apartment. When he got there, a note was posted to his door. Pulling it off, he stepped inside and read it by the lamplight. “Get over to the Hive early tomorrow – we have to get you trained. –Queen Chrysalis”, he read aloud. “Ugh. Getting up early again…” he muttered, setting his alarm. He assumed ‘early’ meant sunrise, so he set it to 5:30 A.M. and crawled into bed.
For a while, Jeremy lay there staring at the dark ceiling. He knew he should concentrate on going to sleep, but all he could think about was this so-called training, and the battle he was being ‘trained’ for. There was a notable difference between his normal style – just rushing into battle and rolling with it – as compared to actually training for things. Jeremy wondered how exactly he would be ‘training’ – would he be mock-fighting changelings? He didn’t look forward to it. Also, it occurred to him that he should probably also be working on that incapacitory weapon. He’d have to wait for the R&D team to approve the design, but it should be fairly simple – and suitably ironic.
Chapter 26
12-27-13, 5:35 A.M.
Jeremy was frantically looking around for his suit – where had he left it? He’d lost track of the darn thing lately, and now it was missing on the one day he needed it most. Finding nothing, he decided to head out, and to mention to Chrysalis that he’d lost it and would have to make another one.
Jeremy opened the office door, searching fruitlessly for his suit before blearily making his way over to the portal. Stepping through, he noticed that the room was suspiciously devoid of all objects; even Chrysalis’ cocoon was removed. He was about to contemplate this when he felt a weight land on him from behind. Whipping around, he spotted a changeling with a yellow shell, and this snapped him out of his sleepiness. Acting quickly, he punched the changeling right on the snout, and as it reeled back, he pounced back on it, using his superior weight as the advantage. Jeremy then began to simply punch it over and over again, aiming for the windpipe, the stomach, the face, and delivering the fastest flurry of blows he had ever given – he was pretty sure he was going to die if he didn’t.
After a few minutes of this, the changeling stopped struggling to escape and went limp. Jeremy picked it up distastefully, and holding it by the scruff of the neck, brought it outside of the room – to an observing Chrysalis. Jeremy was surprised by this, but the changeling he was holding suddenly decided to jerk its head up, and he immediately reacted by slamming it into the nearest wall. “Hey, knock it off, the test’s over!” Chrysalis protested. Jeremy stopped slamming the changeling into the wall, and gave it another look – its shell color had changed to Chrysalis’ blue-green.
“That was a test?” he asked, dropping the changeling, who hit the floor with a thud and groaned.
“Yes. Needless to say, you passed – the point was you could be ambushed at any moment,” Chrysalis explained. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“I knew that,” he replied irritatedly. “Now, have you seen my suit? I seem to have lost it.” Chrysalis laughed, and turned around, the crowd of spectating changelings parting for her and allowing Jeremy to follow.
They came to a hole in the wall Jeremy hadn’t noticed before – unlike all the other cavities in the cave, this one actually had a tunnel dug into it. Unfortunately, the tunnel was only a few feet high, and Chrysalis examined it. “Hmm. Might have to have it brought out to you, actually – forgot you weren’t changeling-sized.” Jeremy rolled his eyes, pushed her aside, and started crawling through the hole. It was fairly spacious, but a short while later it got much smaller – Jeremy thought even a changeling might have to crawl through this.
Flattening himself against the floor, he squeezed through, emerging into another large cavern on the other side – about twice the size of Chrysalis’ room. Here, relics from an age past could be seen: parts of gunships, machine guns, and even a few sniper rifles. Chrysalis herself easily crawled through the entrance, and Jeremy surveyed the room distastefully.
“You still have this?” he asked accusingly.
“Well, we weren’t exactly going to disassemble it,” Chrysalis commented.
It made sense, but Jeremy still didn’t like the idea of guns being a possible contender in future events – it didn’t fit with the show. Then again, he didn’t fit with the show.
In the middle, his suit was propped up on a tilted table, and a lamp was placed over it. Jeremy stared at the modifications. For one thing, the suit had been outfitted with what appeared to be plastic reinforcement. Jeremy surveyed this curiously - it now looked a bit like a Star Wars Stormtrooper outfit, but surely that couldn't have been what Chrysalis was going for.
"So... what's with the plastic?" he asked.
"It's ultra-high density polyethylene - Luna loaned me your computer for a short while, and I looked up the latest in bulletproofing developments. It's got the tensile strength of steel, give or take, but it's much, much lighter - an inch thick of this stuff will stop a .50-caliber bullet." Jeremy's eyes went wide. Turning to face Chrysalis, he swept her up into a hug, and she gasped in surprise before returning it uncertainly. Jeremy let her down after a moment, before casually slipping into the suit, noting how cool and still lightweight it was.
“So, I guess you’ll be wanting the list of upgrades, so here goes. By the way, this was a secret project between me and Luna – Happy Whatever-Your-Favorite-Holiday-Is.” Jeremy laughed, and she flashed him a smile before continuing. “Internal cooling or heating to adjust for temperature, external non-invasive vital sign sensors, a miniature synthesizer and microneedle for medication and anti-poison, not to mention repairing organs, bones, blood and tissue. Really, you couldn’t die with this thing on even if you tried,” she remarked.
“What if some of this stuff breaks?” Jeremy asked, concerned – even bulletproofing only got you so far. Chrysalis looked at him with what appeared to be a hint of suspicion.
“Strangely enough, we found that we couldn’t damage the suit – it repaired itself. Since you can’t do magic, and your old suit was supposedly destroyed anyway by Nightmare Moon, who did this?” Jeremy knew exactly who, but he wasn’t going to say it.
“I know what happened, and it happened while I was dead, and that is all I can say on the matter,” he replied. Chrysalis looked at him.
“You know, someday you’re going to have to tell me – I can’t bear secrets.” Jeremy sighed and nodded – even though it really wasn’t up to him, nor was he sure he was even supposed to hide the existence of Solaris and Orion from any but their daughters in the first place.
Chrysalis pulled out a helmet, which of course was his old helmet with a few new modifications, such as what appeared to be a miniature gas filter on the breathing holes, which were now relegated to the front. “This hooks up with your suit, and we altered the infrared chip on your glasses to serve the same function in case you ever lose your helmet. Now, both can tell you when a changeling is disguised as something else – but we haven’t worked out a way to tell if changelings are disguised as other changelings, and that’s a problem because that’s most likely what you’ll be facing in the arena.” Jeremy stared at her.
“Really? Even you can’t tell?” Chrysalis shook her head. “Hmm… what if we used some kind of code message?” Jeremy wondered.
“No, because then any changeling who listened in or happened to overhear would know it,” Chrysalis countered. Jeremy made a short groan of frustration.
“Well, I can’t just go around attacking every changeling I see – I’m assuming your changelings will be on the field as well?” To his surprise, Chrysalis shook her head.
“Nope, just you out there – but occasionally one of us will come out to assist you if you should ever need help.” Jeremy waved her offer away.
“Either I win, or I die – I won’t need much help either way.”
Chrysalis looked at him, concerned. “You sure? Even for someone who’s died before, that’s a little cavalier,” she noted. Jeremy was indifferent.
“I’ll be fine – this suit is too overpowered for me to lose.” Chrysalis seemed to have her doubts, but apparently decided to not continue the conversation.
They crawled out of the secret room, Jeremy in the lead. As he slowly stood up, stretching after crouching for a while, the changelings surveyed his new armor. “Anyone got a crowbar?” Jeremy jokingly asked before putting on his helmet, and Chrysalis went around in front of him to talk to him. One drawback of the helmet, Jeremy noted, was that his peripheral vision was gone.
“Can you hear me?” she asked, and Jeremy nodded before realizing she couldn’t see it.
“Yes,” he replied, hoping his voice carried through the suit. Chrysalis smiled in response, and led him over to the crowd of changelings.
“Now, your training will start tomorrow – I want you to get used to the suit today. Wear it as long as possible, and try out some of the functions – but don’t poison yourself,” Chrysalis jokingly lectured.
Jeremy gave an amused chuckle, replying “No promises.” Chrysalis laughed for a second, before becoming businesslike once more.
“Right. So, what weapons will you be using?” she asked.
“Actually, been meaning to ask about that. Do I strictly have to murder all of the opponents, or is incapacitating them also okay?” Jeremy asked.
Chrysalis looked at him. “If you could incapacitate every single other opponent, I think they’d have to invent a new rule to deal with it.”
Jeremy grinned. “Sounds good to me. Been developing a vapor-based tranquilizer weapon – kind of like the love machine, but it puts anyone to sleep for a few days.” Chrysalis considered this, interested.
“Well, assuming they don’t get up for a long while… you might be able to get your wish - but couldn't you incapacitate them with regular guns, the way you did before?” she asked. Jeremy considered this for a moment.
"Really, the point I want to make is that all this violence and pain could so easily be avoided, they aren't even necessary," he explained.
Chrysalis looked at him. "Quite the pacifist you've become. Alright, if that weapon works, I'll allow it." Jeremy raised a fist in triumph, and Chrysalis theatrically rolled her eyes.
Chrysalis retreated into her room, and Jeremy followed. From there, she adopted an extremely seductive pose. “Now, I know I said to keep the suit on, but I don’t think anyone would mind if you took it off for just one moment,” she suggested. Jeremy looked down at her – was she…? Yes. Yes, she was. Oh boy.
“I uh… I’m actually kind of waiting on Celestia – I felt she kind of deserved next turn after what she’s been through,” he falteringly replied.
After looking at him for a moment, Chrysalis sighed and stood up. “Oh. Okay then,” she responded, before sitting down heavily.
“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Jeremy pleaded.
“Yes, I know! It’s just… when do I get a turn?” she demanded. Jeremy took a moment to control his frustration – both at himself and at the world around him.
“Okay. Look. How about this. First thing after I get done with Celestia, I’ll go straight over to you, no hesitation or anything. We’ll do a song, because that seems to be a thing between me and everyone I love, and then I’ll be down for that,” Jeremy declared. “Fair?”
Chrysalis looked at him. “And you won’t beat around the bush?”
Jeremy shook his head. “If I do, you have rights to smack me upside the head.”
Chrysalis grinned. “It’s a deal.” Jeremy shook her hoof, and then exited the room.
He felt pretty bad about doing that, but Jeremy still felt like his reasoning was valid. Celestia’s own bitter disappointment had led her to insanity – he couldn’t do that to her again. Whereas Chrysalis understood all this, even if she wasn’t willing to admit it – in fact, Jeremy supposed she understood a great deal more than he did. She was well versed in pony romance – and changeling romance too, he thought as he sat down and continued to design the new weapon. He had a paper in his inbox – his old design had been rejected, with a comment asking how he himself would avoid the soporific vapors. Jeremy frustratedly groaned – that was just stupidity on his part. Well, wait. He had an idea that might solve the problem.
Jeremy scrolled through a list of solvents for the tranquilizers he had chosen, finding a particularly viscous one and making a note of it. Chrysalis had looked over his list of compounds, crossing out a few she claimed didn’t work too well on changelings. Next, he drew a rocket-launcher-esque barrel, adding a few notes at the back for a special launching mechanism rather akin to a squirt gun. Finally, he drew a synthesizer pointing out the top - rather like the one inside the love machine, but adapted to produce a few different compounds.
12-27-13, 9:40 A.M.
Jeremy sat back, rubbing his eyes – he had been staring at the drawing for quite a while, making sure everything was in place, worked, and everything else that constituted a successful weapon. Placing the paper in his Outbox tray and hoping that this one worked, he wandered off to get breakfast.
Finding that the castle breakfast was closed at this point, he visited a shop, buying a simple sandwich and a few sweets. Finding nothing else to do, and wondering if he should actually just go back to sleep for a while, he headed back to the office.
His paper was gone – presumably they had somehow visited while he was out to breakfast. Or maybe there was some teleportation going on? Intrigued but too lazy to test this, Jeremy settled for another round of gaming and drawing. He had to admit, this was clearly the best job – it was a bit like reverse play-testing his games, only without all the tedious glitch hunting. Plus, the sack of gold coins he got every week gave him no small thrill. It occurred to him that he should probably spend that on something, as right now it was just sort of sitting in his room and accumulating. The worst part was, it was solid gold – if he tried to spend it back home, he’d probably end up crashing the economy. However, he certainly could set some aside for a college fund – his parents’ accounts had been distributed to their various relatives, leaving him significantly more wealthy but not nearly enough to get him through college without debt.
The rest of the day went uneventfully – he got used to the new features and geometry of his suit only after bumping into just about everything – the problem with the new cover armor was that his chest was much thicker than it used to be. He did notice that the suit was heated and cooled so that he was always comfortable. The sheet metal didn’t weigh down on him too much, and he still had the extradimensional pocket for storing things – and it still held all of his guns. Speaking of which, Jeremy realized, it was about time he made another portal gun – the last one was currently only so many radioactive molecules drifting about in space.
Going to dinner, he found that Celestia was waiting outside the entrance to the gardens. “Ready for tomorrow?” she asked as they went inside.
“Sure am. You know the lyrics?” he inquired in return, and Celestia nodded.
As they ate, both slightly fidgeted, uncomfortable. “So… New suit, I see,” Celestia commented.
“Yeah. The changelings made this, apparently – it’s got a bunch of upgrades to it now.” Jeremy replied as he popped a fry in his mouth.
Celestia nodded appreciatively. “How’s the tranquilizer weapon coming?” she continued. Jeremy waved his hand in a so-so motion as he finished the last of his fries.
“First design got rejected, waiting on approval for the second,” he explained.
They continued to have small talk for the rest of the dinner, marking the first time where Jeremy had stuck around instead of eating and immediately leaving. And despite his asocial preferences, all in all the experience wasn’t that bad.
Chapter 27*
Chapter 27
12-28-13, 6:00 A.M.
Jeremy sauntered into the hive, ready for just about anything. He was therefore surprised when Chrysalis was waiting for him outside, no attack in sight. “So, what’re we doing today?” Jeremy asked. In answer, Chrysalis gestured towards an area that had a few of the larger changelings milling about. Speaking of larger changelings… “Where’s that huge one? Chitin, or something?” Jeremy asked. Chrysalis gestured towards the nursery, where muffled thumps could be heard as though some giant object – presumably Chitin – was having a party.
“The wrigglers love him,” Chrysalis explained, “…And it keeps him busy.” Jeremy shrugged – the thought of a changeling the size of a building taking care of the adorable, tiny infant changelings only made the spectacle that much cuter.
He walked over to the larger changelings, most of whom nodded in greeting. “So… what exactly are we-“ Jeremy began, but a changeling tackled him before he could finish. And judging by the dripping green fangs, this one meant business. He shifted his position so his legs were under it, and kicked it off. Jumping up, he noticed that he had been promptly surrounded. Jeremy grimly took out his metal pipe – at the sight of it, some of the changelings backed away, still hissing. The ones that still came after him stayed out of arm’s reach, so after a few swings he switched to the assault rifle. This caused them to burst into action, but they didn’t attack him – instead they took to the air. Jeremy grimaced – hadn’t they tried this before?
He took aim, and was about to start firing when he was knocked onto his front by the recuperated changeling from earlier. “Remember where everyone is, idiot!” Chrysalis yelled from the sidelines, and the surrounding changelings snickered. Okay, now he was pissed. Jeremy began to issue bursts of hot lead into the air, and these hit a few stray changelings.
The fight went on for hours – it seemed like every single damn changeling that had fought him before was returning for a second round. Eventually, Jeremy settled into a sort of routine, and began to move around the hive instead of staying stationary. The changelings that were defeated were quickly carted off – and Jeremy didn’t really care what happened to them so long as they didn’t reenter the fight. He was startled out of his daze by a particularly boisterous changeling who insisted on getting close enough to where his gun wasn’t working. When it tried it again, Jeremy snapped his arm out and punched it on the nose, stunning it so he could step back and dispatch it with a burst from his rifle – which still had infinite bullets. At this point, Chrysalis was openly smiling, though Jeremy did his best to ignore her and focus.
12-28-13, 12:32 P.M.
“Alright, stop,” Chrysalis called out. The remaining changelings, which seemed noticeably fewer – how many had he beat? Jeremy briefly wondered – slunk off. After taking a moment to ensure the fight was actually over, he leaned against the wall, tired but twitching from adrenaline. “It took a while, but you’ve still got it,” Chrysalis remarked.
“Why did I even use guns? The whole point is not to use them, remember?” Jeremy asked irritably.
“That was a just-in-case scenario – if you had lost the weapon, say, or it got broken. When the Equestrian research team finishes building it, you can test fighting with it all you like. Until then? More running, jumping and shooting.” Jeremy groaned, and Chrysalis gave him a ‘dismissed’ signal with her hoof. As he left, Jeremy noticed that most of the changelings around the love machine today had bullet wounds – and were apparently just fine after they fed. Huh.
Jeremy exited the portal into his office, wiping the sweat from his brow. The adrenaline had kept him going at the time, but now that he had had a chance to slow down and stop fighting, it hit him how tired he was – he could use a nap. But, unfortunately, he did have things to do. Approaching his desk, he saw a note in his inbox. Jeremy pulled it out and read it over in his head. “Liquid-based Tranquilizer Launcher, Approved,” was written across the top. Below it appeared to be a personal note from Princess Luna. “Take the day off and practice your singing – not to mention rest! Chrysalis contacted me about what you’re doing, and you need to sleep more. Love, Luna”, he finished. He was tempted to write an appreciative thank-you note back, but it would be a waste of time – he could just thank her in person later tonight.
He practiced his singing – effectively a useless exercise in terms of actual practice value, but it did help his confidence. As usual, it was perfect – and Jeremy was beginning to suspect why. Thankfully, his suit still provided music, although the speaker was now hidden somewhere inside the front, the sound coming out the top just below his head. Of course, because it was a duet song, it went a little oddly without Celestia actually present, but his part was just fine. Jeremy finished his lyrics, and satisfied with the results, he pulled out a book from his backpack and began reading, glad of the relaxation. Unfortunately, he had read this book quite a few times before – Jeremy didn’t find much interest in new book series nowadays. He put the book down, marking his page, and casted about for something else to read or do. It occurred to him that he could revisit the Canterlot library in hopes of finding a fiction book, but he didn’t feel like moving around at the moment – he was still very tired. So, what to read? Starved for ideas, he pulled out some of his drawers, vaguely remembering that he had read something while he was here. And at the bottom of the largest drawer lay a stack of heavily written-on pages – Lyra’s script! Jeremy pulled it out, noting where he had left off last time. Settling down on his bed, he turned a page and began to read.
To be fair, it was a fascinating story. Plenty of romance and intrigue, even if the characters were slightly two-dimensional – and one of them seemed like a bit of a Mary Sue to Jeremy. Wait… wasn’t this supposed to be the origins of his own world? Hmm. Jeremy wondered about this for a while, and then shrugged and continued reading.
12-28-13, 5:07 P.M.
After a while, he put the latest page down, blushing heavily – well. Um… Lyra had quite the vivid imagination, he gave her that much. He’d probably better come back to that part when he wasn’t so flustered. But hey, at least he had managed to kill time. He only had an hour before dinner, and then a few more hours after that until the show. So… what to do? Jeremy was starting to get kind of bored – having a day off had its benefits, but after a while you just ran out of things to do. He was tempted to take another trip into dreamland, but he felt a little apprehensive for doing so, considering Luna had basically told him off last time.
Thankfully, he had plenty of paper, and pencils were not hard to come by. Even more luckily, he had remembered to bring a pencil sharpener from Earth. Unfortunately, either he had the worst luck in manufacturing or was just really bad at sharpening pencils – he kept snapping the point off. After Jeremy finally got a working pencil, he began to doodle. The sketches quickly turned to pictures of his friends here – Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis being prominent. From there, they turned to drawings of all the scenes he’d been through – he tried to sketch areas such as the Canterlot caves, the Ponyville town square where he had first arrived, and the final showdown with Nightmare Moon among them. Too bad he couldn’t draw.
Despite Jeremy’s woeful inadequacy at drawing what was so vivid in his mind, he did manage to keep himself occupied until dinner. Dinner was inside now, due to the cold weather – the dining hall was comfortably warm. Seeking out Celestia, he found her deep in conversation with Luna, the two stopping only when he approached. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked, politely concerned.
Luna shook her head. “No, we were just discussing some royal business. Care to join our table?” Jeremy accepted, taking a seat across from the two of them. It was a fairly small table, so they could still converse easily.
“Hey, Luna,” Jeremy began, and Luna perked up. “Just wanted to thank you for the day off – that was nice.” Luna nodded her head in polite agreement.
“We thought thou might enjoy the time off – Chrysalis tells us thou hast been working hard.” Jeremy placed his elbow on the table, leaning into his hand in a gesture of exhaustion.
“Oh, you have no idea,” he replied. To show them he wasn’t actually displeased with the training, he gave a weak smile before going back to his food. The conversation wasn’t too interesting after that, so he excused himself and headed back to the apartment complex.
12-28-13, 10:00 P.M.
After keeping himself somewhat entertained for a few hours, Jeremy decided he couldn’t stand the boredom and headed out early, making sure his suit was still musically functioning before leaving. Satisfied that it was, he ventured towards the restaurant, only to become aware of a growing commotion.
It seemed like all of Equestria had stayed up to watch Celestia sing – Jeremy sorely reflected on Luna’s comparative obscurity. The whole area was crowded to the point of impassability – he simply could not get through. Fortunately, there was a back alley he could duck through, and a few hopped fences later he was directly behind the restaurant building. He entered a back door to find the staff staring at him. “Front entrance was blocked completely,” he explained, and most nodded and pointed him to a door on his right. Entering it, he exited onto the stage, and stepped down. Celestia and Luna were waiting in the audience, and looking at him curiously. “Took the back entrance,” he said by way of greeting, and Luna nodded understandingly.
“Art thou ready?” she asked, and Celestia looked at him, seemingly interested in the answer.
“I, uh… didn’t expect this to be so popular,” he responded. Celestia blushed slightly and looked away.
“Sorry about that – I hope you aren’t too nervous?” Jeremy suddenly remembered his old days as a blossoming drama student, which he had given up in favor of his other hobbies. He might have the mental fortitude to engage in street gunfights, but did he seriously have the guts to sing in front of a crowd of what looked like hundreds?
Jeremy referred back to his old standard for dealing with psychological problems, which was Screw it, just get it over with . He nodded grimly. “I can handle it.”
The ponies started slowly filing in, and Jeremy appreciated how relatively few tables there were – that would make this somewhat easier. The other singers were lining up backstage, and he motioned for Celestia to follow as he got up and headed back towards the stage. Looks like he wasn’t the only one who was nervous, Jeremy noted as he waited backstage with Celestia and the others. Most of the others had noticed the popularity of this show, and were sweating bullets. After reassuring them that they were going to be fine, he went back to taking several deep breaths of his own. He was going to enjoy singing the song, that was true… but all the same, he wished this night was already over. There were quite a few other singers, and once again he and Celestia were scheduled near the end. Jeremy watched them progress with increasing trepidation. Finding nothing else to do, he turned to Celestia, who was casually brushing her hair. “You sure you’re ready?” he asked. Celestia calmly nodded. Inside, Jeremy groaned. Right. She was the princess, stuff like this was nothing new to her.
Finally, it was their turn. Feeling his heartbeat increase to what he thought might be dangerous levels, he took advantage of the lighting overhead to temporarily blind himself, thus making him unable to see the actual audience. Ah. That was better. The music started, and he calmly waited for his turn to start.
Youtube Video
“I opened my eyes… last night… and saw you in the lowlight… Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore… I was feeling the night, grow old, and you were looking so cold… Like an introvert, I drew my overshirt, around my arms and began to shiver violently…” As he sang, Jeremy easily relaxed – it was soothing to hear himself.
Celestia was absent for a moment, then as he finished and the music preluded her part, she walked on stage to some applause. “Time together, it’s just never quite enough~!” sang Celestia.
“When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home,” Jeremy joined in.
“What will it take to make or break this hint of love?” she continued, gazing at him with an expression of utmost satisfaction.
“We need time! Only time…” Jeremy replied, grinning at her. For now, she was all he could see, and that was fine by him.
Once they finished their duet, wild applause could be heard from the audience – and from outside. In fact, Jeremy realized that their performance had probably been broadcast to the entire outside world. Celestia smiled at him once more, and Jeremy realized her eyes were watery. In fact, he was very nearly crying as well – he’d forgotten how good that felt. “Princess Celestia,” he began, turning to face her and smiling slightly. "How would you like to be my marefriend?" Jeremy asked while they were still on stage.
Celestia bowed her head. “With all my heart... yes.” They hugged once, to raucous applause, and then exited backstage.
Jeremy wanted to wait until the other singers finished, but Celestia evidently had other plans. After a nod from Luna, Jeremy found the two of them standing in her bedroom. Jeremy blushed. “Quick on the draw, aren’t you?” he asked, to which Celestia giggled. A second later, he found that all his clothes, including his suit, were once again missing. Shocked by the sudden cold, he drew his arms around himself. Celestia grinned as she gestured for him to join her on the bed. He sat down, and before he could react, she had kissed him deeply on the lips.
After spending a moment like that, he drew away, and Celestia looked at him with an element of nervousness on her facial features. “I hope you don’t think I’m going too fast,” she admitted, recalling both of them back to their earlier encounters. To her surprise, Jeremy pulled her back into the kiss.
“No,” he said, once they had pulled away once again. “This is perfect.”
Celestia smiled, and rolled onto her back, her dripping marehood present. Jeremy blushed as he looked at it – he’d never get used to the sight of that. He himself was already aroused – he had been the moment his clothes came off. “You know what to do next,” Celestia said, and Jeremy nodded. He positioned himself over her, but stopped just as he was about to enter. "What's wrong?" Celestia asked nervously.
"Nothing, nothing," Jeremy soothed. "I just had a better idea." Changing position so that he was kneeling on the floor just in front of Celestia, he leaned forward and took a lick of her dripping fluids. Celestia gasped as his tongue flicked her clit, which had winked out just in time. Jeremy grinned, and licked her once more. She tasted sweet, not at all like he had been expecting - he vaguely wondered if she had used magic to alter the taste.
"What - ooh... What brought this on?" Celestia asked, quivering slightly as he continued his ministrations.
Jeremy stopped for a moment to answer. "I wanted to make things right between us, you know? Show you that I care," he mumbled.
Celestia blushed, a small, delighted smile coming to her lips. "I - why, thank you.." she falteringly responded. Jeremy gave her a sincere smile of his own, and returned to his prior activity, Celestia shivering in excitement.
A few minutes later, they were well into it - Celestia's gasps and shivers had turned into moans of pleasure. He had since added his hands into the mix as well, groping and rubbing her teats as well as teasing the nipples. As she got louder and louder, Jeremy increased the speed and complexity of his foreplay, swirling his tongue around in circles before suckling on her clit the instant it popped out. At this, Celestia gave out a shocked cry, and came, her back arching right off the bed and her wings flaring out with enough force to topple Jeremy over as her fluids coated his face. He quickly leaned forward once more, grinning with satisfaction as Celestia came down from her orgasm.
"My... goodness..." she panted, after a solid minute. "Where... on Earth... did you learn... that?"
Jeremy laughed. "I did some studying after me and Luna got together for the first time. Was it... was it good?"
At this, Princess Celestia surveyed him with a surprised expression. "Good ? Jeremy, no stallion's ever done that for me before... I don't think any stallion's ever thought of that before..."
Jeremy gave her a concerned frown. "Do I need to speak with Princess Cadance about the state of romanticism in this country? Because reciprocating with your partner is... well, it's common sense!"
Princess Celestia smiled. "My little ponies, bless them, are normally more concerned with their heat cycle than their skill," she answered.
"What about you, how does your estrus work?" Jeremy asked. This, too, he had read about, though it left him more confused than anything.
Princess Celestia blushed, and looked away. "Well... it started just a few days ago... I was trying to hide it-" she was cut off as Jeremy leaned over and kissed her.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he replied, and Celestia merely looked at him for a moment before smiling once more.
Jeremy once more positioned himself over her entrance, and looked to her for confirmation. Celestia nodded once, and he slowly pushed himself inside her.She moaned a little as he entered, not as loud as earlier - but Jeremy was determined to change that. “Oh! I can see why Luna enjoyed this,” she commented as he slowly started moving.
“I really think you two should reconsider – I’m not the biggest there is,” he replied. Celestia, showing astonishing flexibility, leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.
“It’s not like we choose our partners for their body… although that is a sweet bonus,” she responded, and Jeremy remembered another conversation he had had with Chrysalis. He looked at her mock-suspiciously, and Celestia giggled. "Besides, yours is so... alien... I've never experienced anything like it before..." Jeremy gave an embarrassed laugh. Sensing his reservation, Celestia looked him straight in the eye. "Jeremy, in the past few days you have shown me more consideration, care and outright love than any stallion before you... I don't care if it's your cultural training, your own personal preference, or anything else - you have earned the right to call yourself my lover. And... I hope I've earned the right to the same," she trailed off, now looking guilty.
Dismayed, Jeremy stopped for a moment to lean down and hug her tightly - this was rather uncomfortable, but he didn't care. "Of course you have. Don't ever think for a second you haven't," he answered. After a moment, Celestia gave him an emotional smile, and her wings wrapped around him.
He went back to moving after a moment, and began to sweat a little from the work of thrusting. Celestia had already been sweating from the get-go - whether from a combination of nerves, pleasure, or the same exertion that he was experiencing, Jeremy wasn't sure. His thrusts built in intensity and rhythm as he reached orgasm - but just as he was about to go over the edge, he noticed something - Celestia wasn't quite there yet. She was getting close, sure, but it didn't look like she was about to orgasm just yet.
So, Jeremy did the natural thing - he clamped down on his own rising orgasm, refusing to acknowledge the signals of pleasure coursing through his body. Celestia appeared to notice this, but she was quickly distracted by her own rising orgasm. Once more, Celestia's moans began to build in volume, until they were nearly approaching the Royal Canterlot Voice - Jeremy hoped the guards at the door weren't too embarrassed. Though the door was closed, so he'd never know.
Celestia gave one last scream - "YES!" and came, the sudden clenching of her inner walls breaking Jeremy's concentration and causing him to orgasm as well, their juices mixing together with near-explosive force.
Finally, Jeremy rolled over next to her, wrapping an arm around her and breathing deeply. “…You’re not asleep, are you?” Celestia asked, and he gave a tired laugh.
“No… just resting.” Celestia smiled and laid her head next to his.
"So... you... held yourself back, I felt," she commented.
"Yeah... I didn't know I could do that, I just didn't want to stop before you were done," Jeremy explained.
Celestia smiled. "Truly, you are full of surprises."
As they laid together, Jeremy considered his luck. He’d managed to bed both of the Equestrian royalty… and apparently they both enjoyed it. Not bad for a guy who was still in high school, huh? Some part of him still wished he were older, stronger…bigger, but another part of him responded that if he was good enough here, that should be enough for him. Jeremy sighed contentedly and went back to sleep, arms around Celestia like she was his life support – which she practically was, at this point.
"Um... Jeremy?" Celestia asked, after a while of laying together.
"Yes?" he asked, sleepily running a hand through her mane.
"You... you know the changeling trial we've been talking about?" she asked, audibly swallowing.
"Yeah?" Jeremy asked, still too sleepy to think much of this.
"Can you... oh, Jeremy... please don't go!" she cried, suddenly hugging him tightly - this woke Jeremy up. "Please, let's just send somepony else, just... please don't..." she trailed off, sobbing slightly. Jeremy looked over at her, alarmed. "Now you probably want to break up with me," she mumbled, turning away from him. Jeremy put a hand on her shoulder.
"Celly... I'd never, ever do that to you. Even if you went and broke every rule and tradition in the human dating book, even if we argue and fight, I'll always be there for you. I love you, Celestia," he whispered, pulling her into a hug. Celestia looked over at him, then returned the hug suddenly, sobbing into his chest.
"T-thank you... I needed t-that..." she mumbled, and Jeremy tousled her hair.
"Anytime, girl." He held her there for a moment, Celestia slowly calming down. Finally, when her sobs had subsided, Jeremy felt it was time to speak again.
"You know I have to fight. I wouldn't be doing my job otherwise," he gently stated. Celestia looked up at him.
"What job?" she asked, sounding like a stubborn small child. Jeremy smiled.
"You know, the Royal Pony-Changeling Advisor. Queen Chrysalis' lover. Those jobs," he answered. Celestia looked down glumly.
"I know... but part of me wishes you didn't have to. What if you don't come back?" she asked. Jeremy grinned at her.
"Then I'll just have to have some serious words with whoever runs the afterlife. I'll survive, Celestia. I always do." Celestia giggled slightly, and laid her head back down on her pillow. The two of them resumed drifting off to sleep, arms and legs intertwined in an embrace that expressed far more than just comfort.
Additional A/N: Due to spoilers, I couldn't place this with the rest - song is Saltwater Room, by Owl City and featuring Lights. And yes, Lights was chosen specifically for the pun.
Chapter 28*
Chapter 28
12-29-13, 6:02 A.M.
As Jeremy woke up, he became aware that Celestia was no longer beside him. Pushing himself up into a sitting position and pulling on his suit, he looked around, only to hear a humming noise and the sound of rushing water coming from an adjacent door. Apparently, Celestia was showering. Having mentally noticed he was awake, she sent a brief image of her smile his way telepathically before calling out “Just getting ready to raise the sun.” Jeremy acknowledged this mentally. “Hey, I’m going to head back to my apartment, then. Anything you need?” he replied. Celestia exited the shower, grabbing a towel with magic and refusing his offer by shaking her head. She might have been technically naked all the time, but Jeremy still blushed at seeing her dripping wet and toweling herself off – some human psychological coding, he supposed. Plus, it was Celestia. He still couldn’t get over that.
“Hey, you look a little strange. Are you feeling all right?” Celestia asked, concerned.
“Yeah, it’s just… I can’t believe the three of you are in love with me. You two are practically gods, right? Chrysalis is a queen. And I... I'm just a human. Some guy who happened to meet Luna, and know how to fire guns. I... I feel like I was just in the right place at the right time,” Jeremy mused. Celestia kissed him on the cheek.
"Aren't we all?" With that, she left to attend to her duties. After a while, Jeremy smiled and exited the room himself, gently closing the door.
Of course, he still wanted to get the proper amount of sleep, and he knew Chrysalis was already expecting him to. So, he headed back into his apartment, and was about to perform the most graceful swan dive into his bed when he noticed there was a small square of paper already in it. Unfolding it, he read another official royal notice, this time stamped with both Celestia’s and Luna’s seals. “By the order of the two Princesses of Equestria, the human Jeremy has been officially appointed the Royal Pony-Changeling International Advisor, and may carry out all duties as such.” Underneath this was a note from Luna. “Chrysalis is still waiting? You should fix that soon.” Embarrassed, Jeremy grinned before setting the notes on his desk, taking off his suit and crawling into bed. Sleep first, Chrysalis next , he thought as he slipped away from reality.
12-29-13, 12:12 P.M.
As he woke up again, Jeremy felt pretty good. The events of earlier that morning seemed like a day ago already, but he knew they weren’t – his internal clock was always confused when he took a nap. Feeling refreshed, he swung over the balcony and fell off the edge of the stairs, his boots cushioning him. Grinning at the shock absorbers, he set off for the office.
By the time he arrived, he had realized that his key was trapped in his pants pocket under the suit, and was struggling to get it out. Having finally done so by the time he got there, he inserted it and turned it, only to find that the door was already open. Okay, that was dumb , he thought, and stepped inside.
The office, as usual, was deserted, and he briefly considered taking off his suit – despite all its features, it was still slightly bulky to wear. However, Chrysalis would probably attack him if he did so, and Jeremy resolved to keep it on as he stepped through the portal to the hive. Curiously, as he stepped through, he noted that his computer was already on, and a few programs were opened - had someone been poking around? He decided to investigate later.
Youtube Video
As soon as he entered, his suit started playing music that he only faintly recognized. Alarmed, he looked around to find he was surrounded by changelings. They gestured him outside, and Jeremy confusedly followed to find Chrysalis, humming along to the beat before she began singing. “No more gas, in the red, can’t even get it started,” she began, and Jeremy immediately recognized the song. He leveled his gaze at her, half delighted and half amused – well, he did say a song was required at this point. Chrysalis, noticing his expression, winked and continued. “Throw on your brakelights~! You’re in the city of wonder, ain't gon’ play nice! Watch out, you might just go under – Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered, so if you must falter, be wise…” she sang as she circled around him. Jeremy followed her, unsure of what to do. The changelings in the back were keeping up the beat, mimicking the voices perfectly – which was one thing they were already really good at.
As Chrysalis continued singing, Jeremy slowly became aware that she had remembered his favorite thing – symbolism. Every time “city of wonder” or “city of lights” was spoken, the green sacs that covered the walls and ceiling lit up, painting the entire massive cavern in an eerie, shifting green light. Plus, the song was mostly about a mysterious affliction that had taken the singer by surprise – this was obviously love, and Jeremy found it extraordinarily funny that a changeling would refer to it as such.
Chrysalis finished the last of her lines, and the suit stopped playing music. She stepped towards him. “So… how was that? Not exactly a love song, but I thought it fit, don’t you?” she asked.
Jeremy grinned. “That was perfection incarnate - really, I think you could make a killing in the music industry. Especially with such good backup singers!” he complimented while looking around at the group of changelings who had been helping with the singing – each of them looked away, a green tinge creeping onto their cheeks. Chrysalis chuckled and gestured back towards her room. As she and Jeremy walked towards it, the crowd of changelings who had been watching – when had so many arrived? – parted to make room for them, some cheering. Jeremy blushed furiously, and Chrysalis burst into laughter.
“Oh, you wriggler – you’re going to have to get used to that someday ,” she teased him.
12-29-13, 1:12 P.M.
They entered her room, and Chrysalis lit up her horn. A single red rose appeared out of nowhere, and floated over to Jeremy, who looked at it before trying to hold back laughter. “Really? A rose? How cliché of you,” he teased back. Chrysalis laughed and pounced at him, and before he knew it, they were on top of her cocoon. As far as cocoons went, it was like a cross between a bean chair and a water bed, and highly comfortable, although moving about felt odd - though his weight was supported, the flexible outside of the cocoon felt as though it might burst at any moment.
“So, Mr. Changeling Ambassador,” Chrysalis started mockingly, and Jeremy grinned up at her, surprised but still willing to play along. “What would you like to do with me today?” she asked, tracing a hoof along the panels of his suit.
“Oh, you know. A game of Monopoly, maybe a few card games?” Jeremy replied innocently, giving an insolent grin as he looked up at her. Chrysalis giggled, and teleported his suit off.
“You know, I’m starting to get tired of you ladies ripping my clothes off every day,” Jeremy remarked. “Maybe I’d just like to take off my own clothes for once, or something.” Chrysalis shook her head.
“If you don’t want us taking off your clothes, maybe you should stop wearing them!” she retorted. Jeremy bit back the culturally obvious response.
Chrysalis looked down to find him already aroused just by being naked. “Well, someone wants to get going,” she commented as she shifted her position, stopping when her head was positioned just above the tip.
“I can’t help that, it’s-“ Jeremy protested, but was cut off when she started caressing it with her tongue. For the first time, Jeremy noted a changeling’s tongue: It was very long, prehensile, and quite thin, with a forked end. Whatever he had been about to say before, Jeremy had already forgotten it as she used her tongue to squeeze and kiss him in the oddest places.
“Enjoying yourself?” Chrysalis asked, grinning evilly. Jeremy had no reply, as he was too busy trying to control his raging hormones. Sensing this, Chrysalis gave a short chuckle before taking his whole length in her mouth, her jaw expanding farther than Jeremy thought possible to accommodate. Jeremy lost himself for a moment to her movements, before remembering stupidly that he was expected to hold up his end of the deal as well. He grabbed hold of her haunches, attempting to twist them up towards him, and after a moment of Chrysalis' confusion she allowed him to do so.
Jeremy examined Chrysalis' pussy - it didn't seem all that different from any other mare's. Aside from the fact that it was bright bluish-green, that was. He reached out with his tongue, giving it an experimental lick. Chrysalis tasted even sweeter than Celestia, almost to the point where Jeremy suspected her fluids were engineered to mimic sugar - this would make sense from a biological standpoint, to attempt to get ponies addicted to the fluid. He might have to be careful... As he licked, Chrysalis shivered, and Jeremy grinned - he still had it. From that, a new idea surfaced in his mind - something he'd wanted to try out with Celestia, but had forgotten. He centered his tongue at the opening of her folds, then pushed inward - Chrysalis gasped with surprise around her mouthful of his manhood.
The second after he did so, Jeremy's tongue felt something much different from her moist vaginal walls - this thing felt like a small appendage or two. To his shock, the foreign object stiffened and wrapped itself around his tongue, pinching it on the sides with what felt like small limbs. All this had occurred in the space of less than a second, so Jeremy had no time to react, only giving out a muffled cry as his tongue was now trapped inside her. Chrysalis looked back, startled, and a moment later the pressure on his tongue released, and he pulled it out hurriedly as Chrysalis turned to face him.
"Oh, by the hive - I am so sorry , I didn't mean to hurt you!" she quickly apologized.
Jeremy felt his tongue with the roof of his mouth - it felt fine, though slightly sore. "That's... okay... If you don't mind me asking, what exactly was that?" he asked.
Chrysalis looked away, her expression one of shame. "It's used to keep stallions'... cocks... inside, so they can't pull out once we drop our disguises..." she falteringly explained, and looked away again, looking for all the world as though she expected him to smack her.
To her obvious surprise, Jeremy simply shrugged. "Huh. Makes sense," he remarked, and went right back to licking.
"You... ah... don't mind ...?" she asked, her face now caught between sexual pleasure and openmouthed surprise.
Jeremy stopped for a moment, giving her a small smile. "I thought something like this might happen - and I remember what I said. I don't mind what body parts you have."
Chrysalis simply looked at him for a moment, before smiling genuinely. From then on, she seemed gentler than she had before - where her earlier expressions could have resembled the rape her changelings were famed for, now her motions were unsure, gentle, and somewhat timid. Jeremy suspected she simply didn't know how to react, and thus decided to boost her confidence by responding as sincerely as he could to her every motion. After a while of this, they were both smiling as they passionately sucked and licked at each other. Unsurprisingly, but disappointingly, Jeremy was the first to orgasm. Chrysalis clamped down on his member as his seed spurted down her throat.
With that, she turned to face him. "We can... stop, if you're finished now..." she mumbled, and Jeremy was caught off guard by how unsure her voice sounded. No, he couldn't end it like this - her expression was clearly asking for him to say no, he could go another round. Jeremy didn't actually know if he could - but he wasn't about to let his marefriend down. Jeremy looked down at her, a devilish expression on his face.
"You know the rules, girl," he started, and repositioned her so that she was lying on the cocoon on her back, with his legs touching hers. "It isn't over until we're both finished."
Chrysalis gave him a delighted smile, but crossed her legs. "Wait..." she asked, and to Jeremy's shock used her hooves to make them swap positions - he was now lying on the cocoon, and she was straddled atop him. "I want you this way..." she whispered.
Jeremy smiled up at her. "Whatever works," he answered, and Chrysalis began rocking back and forth, trying to get him hard again. It only took a few seconds of this before he was ready to go once more, and Chrysalis raised herself up with both her hooves and a buzz of her wings, before dropping down, seemingly impaling herself on his member. Jeremy gave a short grunt of surprise, but this quickly gave way to a moan as Chrysalis began moving up and down, using her weight to both balance herself and keep him under her. After he had already came once, Jeremy was super-sensitive - and Chrysalis was tight . He once again called upon his mental concentration, holding himself back from orgasm - but after he had already done so, he found it oddly easier, despite the stimulation.
Chrysalis, to her credit, was quick, and her inner walls clamped down on him like a boa constrictor as her juices seeped out from under her. Jeremy let himself go the instant he sensed her finish - he had already drained himself dry after the first time, but the feeling was still as sensational as ever - like stars were dancing in his head.
12-29-13, 1:32 P.M.
They lay on top of the cocoon, taking a moment to rest. “So… was that… what you expected?” panted Jeremy.
“No... it was so much better,” Chrysalis replied, still smiling. Another thought occurred to Jeremy, and he suspected he wasn’t the only one who was thinking this. The first time they had met, they were mortal enemies. The second, grudging allies. And now… Now, they were more than friends. Jeremy sometimes wondered if he had done something really good in a past life at times like this – after all, normal people didn’t get this kind of romantic luck.
After a while, Jeremy felt cold enough to push Chrysalis off of him, seeking his suit. “Don’t you have any insulation on that ridiculous hide of yours?” Chrysalis complained, noticing him shivering.
“No, and I don’t want any – interferes with motion,” Jeremy answered. It was true he was skinny as a nail, but that was more genetics than anything – or so it seemed. Finally finding his suit in a corner, he slipped it on, and returned to his position, cuddling Chrysalis as he had with Celestia and Luna. “Chrysalis, why the hell are so many ponies attracted to me?” he wondered aloud.
“Probably something to do with your hero status? And the way you go out of your way to save them, risking life and limb just to protect those you hardly know? We tend to like that,” answered Chrysalis seriously. Jeremy could think of no reply to this, so he simply went back to hugging Chrysalis, pressing her body firmly into his so the both of them were warm. Chrysalis seemed to enjoy the attention, and closed her eyes for a moment, before making a purring sound. Her eyes flew open and she stopped, sitting up rapidly.
“Did you just…” Jeremy asked.
“No!” Chrysalis frantically answered.
Jeremy burst out laughing. “That is so cute!” he exclaimed, and Chrysalis blushed green.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone,” she threatened. Jeremy was still laughing.
“Relax, I won’t tell a soul,” he promised. “Still, that is ridiculously adorable,” he added after a pause and Chrysalis swatted at him with her front foreleg. Still laughing, he got up, making a placating gesture with his hands. After a short moment, Chrysalis laughed as well.
“Sorry, I just – if word got out…” she explained.
Jeremy dismissed her faltered attempts with a wave of his hand. “It’s fine, really.”
With that, he left, Chrysalis actually cheerfully waving him good-bye as he exited through the portal. Jeremy rolled his eyes – looked like he wasn’t the only secretly hopeless romantic around here. He sat down at his desk and pulled out another sheet of paper, and began drawing. His doodles this time were centered around Chrysalis – and he found the subject noticeably easier now that he had gotten so close to her. Satisfied with the results, Jeremy put the drawing away and went back to focusing on his actual work.
12-29-13, 2:07 P.M.
Jeremy decided to play through some games – it was refreshing to get back to them, even if it was on a different computer. Slowly trekking through the ruins of a city, he didn’t notice when Chrysalis came up behind him. “Having fun?” she asked, and Jeremy very nearly jumped out of his chair.
“Fu – don’t scare me like that!” he exclaimed after a moment, putting a hand to his chest to quell his racing heart. Chrysalis laughed, and jumped up into his lap, resting her head on the table and watching his paused game.
“So, let’s see some of your ‘games’ – this is like those hero tales in stories, right?” she asked.
“Yep, pretty much,” Jeremy awkwardly said as he allowed her to remain in his lap and unpaused the game.
"Never read one of those before - I hope this doesn't ruin them for me," she commented in reply.
Jeremy looked at her. "You've never read a book before?"
Chrysalis grimaced. "I can read, but I had better things to do than steal books." After a moment, Jeremy shrugged and went back to the game.
Of course, Chrysalis was not nearly as squeamish as Celestia when it came to blood and gore, and watched with rapt enthusiasm. “There wouldn’t be a pony version of this game – I don’t think they could handle such images of violence,” Chrysalis commented.
Jeremy gave a noncommittal grunt. “True. But it’s not like I play the game for all the blood.” He spent a while checking for hidden loot, to Chrysalis’ displeasure, before getting back in his vehicle and moving on.
12-29-13, 6:24 P.M.
A few hours later, he quit the game and sat back – he’d get to this part later. Chrysalis jerked a little at the sudden motion, but quickly re-adjusted her position so that she was lying down on top of him. “Mmm… I could go for a nap, right about now…” she remarked as her eyes closed.
“But then I won’t be able to move!” protested Jeremy.
“Your problem,” she replied and went to sleep. Unamused, Jeremy gently picked her up, putting her in his chair before heading out to dinner.
When he came back, she was still asleep on the chair, an ear twitching and a smile flashing as she dreamed of something particularly pleasant. Jeremy looked at her, a small smile coming to his own face, and quietly turned off the lights and closed the door. In the dark, he trekked back to his room, wondering about the upcoming fight. Chrysalis had said it was in just a few days, but it had felt like forever – probably because of all the stuff he had done in the interim period. Now that he was officially coupled with Celestia and Chrysalis too, Jeremy felt marginally better about the whole situation – and the weapon he was having built was a plus as well.
He decided to read some more of Lyra’s story before going to bed. With a straight face, Jeremy watched as the girl blushingly proposed to the boy, to which the boy responded yes as his friends cheered him on. Jeremy would have to find this couple someday – it would be metaphysically fascinating.
Additional A/N: Song was 'Disturbia', by Rihanna.
Chapter 29
12-30-13, 6:07 A.M.
Jeremy rubbed his eyes as he walked into the hive, anticipating an ambush at any second. He was therefore surprised to find Chrysalis speaking with another changeling, this one with green coloration only slightly more vibrant than Chrysalis’ own. It wasn’t from the hive, judging by the other changelings hissing as it passed by. As Chrysalis saw him, she motioned him over. “Good, good, just who I was looking for,” she said, switching to English. “Care to explain yourself to my resident psychotic murderer?” she asked the other changeling, who visibly shifted. Jeremy simply stared impassively, carefully not reacting to her comment – clearly it was meant to be a threat, but it hit home all the same.
“We’ve… moved up the day of the Trial,” he falteringly managed.
“When?” Jeremy asked, still feigning calm.
“It’s… today,” he mumbled, and promptly fled, Chrysalis’ changelings snickering. Jeremy looked at Chrysalis in outrage.
“Today?!” he exclaimed. Chrysalis shrugged.
“Hey, I don’t like it either, but it’s true. Apparently, this is an attempt to interrupt our training. They think you’ve got some sort of secret weapon, and were hoping to stop you from finishing it.” Jeremy groaned.
“Well, they succeeded – although, to be fair, they’ll be worse off from that decision than me,” he considered. Chrysalis smirked, using her magic to bring over two boxes. Jeremy stopped his internal musing to examine the larger one. “The sleeper gun, right?” he asked.
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at him. “Not the name I would’ve chosen, but yes. Luna finished it early as soon as I told her, although it’s a prototype model, so it’s not quite stable.”
Jeremy frowned. “If it’s going to break on me midway through, that’s going to be problematic.” Chrysalis shook her head.
“We can use magic to fix it from afar, provided we’re close by.” Jeremy nodded understandingly. He opened the other box to find a second portal gun, as clean and smooth as the first.
“Aw yeah!” he enthusiastically commented. “I was beginning to miss this thing.” Chrysalis grinned.
“We made it harder for you to break – as useful as it was last time, I don’t think it would be very safe if you dropped it and it went nuclear.” Jeremy chuckled, and went back to focusing on the other gun, stashing the portal gun in his suit.
“Okay… well, this one's not the best,” he remarked as he picked the sleeper gun up. It was very lightweight – Jeremy felt like it would break if he so much as dropped it. “But it should be good enough. So… where is this ‘Trial’ taking place?” he asked. Chrysalis took him over to her room, where a massive map covered a large section of the wall. A huge red circle was marked off, and Jeremy noticed that it was mostly open terrain. “Lot of fields… not many places to hide… looks good to me,” he concluded.
“No, it isn’t. This is the overhead view – the arena itself is actually underground,” Chrysalis explained.
Jeremy stared at the map for a while, before uttering “Son of a dick.”
Chrysalis nodded sympathetically. “Thankfully, you’ve spent some time in caves – this should be much the same, only without all the crystal formations,” she reminded him. Oh yeah. That. Jeremy rolled his eyes as he remembered his short trek through the caves under Canterlot – he had been half dead from lack of food, and he had been rescuing Cadance on top of that. It wasn’t exactly an unpleasant memory, but Jeremy didn’t really like to remember any of those first few days in Equestria.
“Alright, so the arena’s in a cave, it’s starting today, and I have a working but unstable version of the sleeper gun,” he concluded. “Today is already terrible,” he finished under his breath.
“There is an upside,” Chrysalis mentioned. Jeremy raised an eyebrow at her, and she continued. “If – Once you get out of that arena, Luna mentioned she would have a portal back to Earth ready.” Jeremy smiled.
“That actually is an upside, thanks.” Chrysalis looked away, frowning. “…What?” Jeremy asked.
“It’s just… are you really so eager to go back to your home?” she asked.
“Um… yes? The portal would be constantly open, like that one,” he replied, pointing to the office portal.
“But I wouldn’t get to see you as much,” Chrysalis protested. Jeremy sighed.
“Hey, I don’t like it either, but I do have to get an education. I wouldn’t feel right otherwise,” he informed her. Chrysalis lowered her head, and Jeremy immediately felt terrible. Then he felt conflicted – he did have a right to educate himself, and she knew it. “I don’t know, maybe you could come with me or something,” he thought out loud.
“To… Earth?” Chrysalis asked, seemingly touched. Jeremy gave a single nod.
“We could hang out, and I could show you Earth stuff,” he mumbled. To his shock, Chrysalis hugged him.
“That sounds wonderful – count me in.” Jeremy patted her on her hair, still very confused about this turn of events.
Chrysalis had since left to make preparations for her delegation moving out to the arena, as well as to round up Luna, who was apparently staying up into the daytime now that she had heard. While they were gone, Jeremy reflected on Chrysalis’ drastic change in personality. She had started as the queen he had watched on the TV show, but quickly became more… happy. Upbeat, even. What was up with that? Jeremy decided he’d ask her once he got out.
12-30-13, 12:22 P.M.
The planning phase had finished, and it was time to move out. Fully dressed in his suit and helmet, Jeremy rode on the back of Luna as she flew to the meeting area. It hadn’t been the most convenient arrangement, and Luna complained about his weight more than once, but a half hour into the flight she seemed to have grown accustomed to his added mass.
"Jeremy, may we speak with you a moment?" Luna asked as she flew a short distance away from the rest of the hive.
"Sure I guess. Not like I have much choice in the matter," Jeremy joked. Luna smiled, but her amusement was quickly dampened.
"It's just... we feel... we feel jealous, Jeremy," Luna forlornly stated. Jeremy looked at her, surprised by her sudden change in demeanor.
"And why do you feel that way?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound like a moron. Luna looked down at the ground below, as though hoping to find her answer.
"Well... Tis' just... When we started this relationship with thee, we had never assumed it would expand. We had always assumed thou wouldst... only want us." Seeing the look on Jeremy's face, she hurriedly pressed on. "But we do not blame thee for thy choices, please do not think that! We're very happy that our sister and Queen Chrysalis hath found happiness in thee as well. But we're... I'm... afraid, too. Afraid that if I kept feeling this way and told nopony, I would turn back into the monster I was before..." she finished, head drooping. Jeremy immediately reached out and stroked her neck, trying to find the right words to say.
"Well... I'm glad you told me instead of keeping this bottled up. But... I don't know what to say, Luna. I love you, but I love them, too. Maybe you should talk to them about it?" he suggested, but Luna vigorously shook her head.
"Nay! They'd... they'd hate me!" she exclaimed, before covering up her mouth with her hooves - thankfully, the nearby changelings didn't seem to have heard.
"No they wouldn't!" Jeremy argued. "Celestia's your sister, she couldn't possibly hate you. And Chrysalis... she's not like that. And I want to respect your wishes here, and let you keep this to yourself, but I couldn't do that to you, Luna. You need to talk about this, it'll only get worse otherwise. So, please. Please let us help you through this," he finished. Luna bit her lip, and didn't respond for a few minutes.
"V-very well... we shall talk to them, if it makes you happy," Luna gave in. Jeremy hugged her warmly, and she gave him a half-smile as they flew back to the group. Chrysalis, who was leading the flight, looked over at them.
"Something happen?" she asked. "You two were talking for quite a while."
Jeremy shook his head. "Tell you later," he answered, and Chrysalis looked at him sharply before merely nodding.
They touched down in the middle of a sunny clearing deep in the Everfree Forest, next to a cave opening. Of course, it wasn’t sunny for long – in the first five minutes, as the other delegations began to arrive, the clouds quickly took over the sky, and it began raining. Groaning in dismay, the others retreated into the cave, and Jeremy reluctantly followed – it was the first time he had seen rain in Equestria, and it was actually rather enjoyable. Sensing his thoughts, Luna flashed him a smile, and he gave her one back through the suit before following into the mouth of the cave.
It was dark enough that Jeremy couldn’t see anything, until a blinding green glow lit the room. Night vision, Jeremy supposed as he looked around – some changelings from other hives were approaching him, evidently trying to scare him. Jeremy remained still – he didn’t want them to know he had night vision, after all – until they were right on top of them, then leaned forward and poked the first one square in the middle of the forehead. It jumped back, and after a bit of frantic hissing the others jumped back as well. Jeremy made sure his suit microphone was off before he chuckled – another useful feature he had discovered, and it was certainly better than a few air holes around the back of his neck.
The changelings gathered around Chrysalis, evidently expecting her to do something. Chrysalis began hissing in her own language, and Luna mentally translated for him. Welcome to the 342nd Trial, Chrysalis began. None of you will perish tonight – most of the changelings perked up at this, confused – if only because we have a much worse fate in store for you when I succeed. A changeling attempted to interrupt, and Chrysalis stopped her introduction to viciously bite him in the neck. The changeling fell to the floor, twitching slightly, and Jeremy and Luna exchanged an alarmed look before Chrysalis calmly continued. After this, there will be no more violence among our kind. We will feed forever, and live in peace, and be happy. Whether you like it or not. Seemingly finished, she stepped out of the circle, and it quickly disbanded back into the respective groups – Jeremy could only see green with his night vision, but he thought he counted no less than seven respective groups of changelings. He vaguely wondered what the color of their shells were.
Another changeling took her place, and Luna began translating again. Chrysalis, you must have hit your horn in that invasion, they started, and Jeremy glared at it. Allying with ponies? With aliens? Using their alien weapons instead of the advantages we changelings were given naturally? This ends now, Queen. Starting today, your insanity will be no longer tolerated. Jeremy crossed his arms, and Luna too glared at the speaker. Noticing this, the changeling orator directed his words at Jeremy directly. Alien, though I doubt you can understand me, you are no more worthy of being here than that moon princess , it stated, and Jeremy felt the brief urge to attempt to rip it in half before Luna sent a quelling gaze his way. The Trial has always been fought by changelings alone – and no matter how strong you think you are, Chrysalis’ hive was nothing compared to ours . If Jeremy could have projected onto his screen an expression of rolling his eyes, he certainly would have.
With this, the orator too left the circle to hissing that Jeremy wasn’t sure meant applause or jeering. After a moment more of internal hissing amongst the various changeling populations, Chrysalis beckoned to Jeremy. “You’re to go down to the largest part of the cave, and wait there. When I give the signal, you’ll begin. Is your weapon ready?”
Jeremy nodded, giving her a terse “Yes”.
“Is your suit charged?” Feeling somewhat henpecked, he affirmed once more. “Then get going,” Chrysalis admonished, and Jeremy began walking down the cave path, feeling nervous but also strangely excited – the thought of actually fighting something made him feel good.
//{Half Life 2 Episode 2 OST – Sector Sweep}
Youtube Video
Finally, they entered into a vast underground cavern, with beautiful stalactites hanging off of the ceiling and a subterranean lake over to his left. Most of the cave was still open space, but the walls had plenty of holes, outcroppings, and other places to hide. “Ready?” Chrysalis whispered over his headset. Jeremy almost missed this, because the 'music' feature of his suit was back with a vengeance.
“No, but are you?” Jeremy whispered back, forgetting his outside microphone was still off.
“They’re all going to start on my signal,” she whispered back. She spoke again in the changeling language, this time audible from even their position, and Luna translated. Three. Two. One… Chrysalis paused for a moment. GO! Jeremy immediately whipped out the weapon and began firing around him, and changelings dropped like flies. Thinking that their comrades were dying, the other changelings fled deeper into the cave, and Jeremy picked a group to pursue. Thankfully, the changelings that went down stayed down, not moving or even so much as twitching.
Some of the lighter-shelled changelings – yellow, maybe? – engaged him at once, biting and flying around him. Unconcerned, Jeremy sprayed the weapon around him, and they too dropped. After the first few fell prey to the sleeper gun, the rest stayed back, wary of him. Jeremy gave a brief, unseen smile as he attempted to hit them from afar. Unfortunately, these ones were good at dodging, and after a moment they took to the air, heading for an outcropping on the top of the cave. Jeremy looked at them, unamused – he’d get to them later.
As tempted as he was to mess with the changeling contingents, Jeremy remembered he had a job to do. Unfortunately, the weapon did not have a long-range mode, so he had to get closer. He ran after the nearest group, causing them to scatter – some of them even turned invisible, and Jeremy grinned as he switched on his infrared camera. There was one, hiding behind a rock. Jeremy pretended he didn’t see it, and just as it was about to jump out he whipped around and blasted it with the sleeper gun. It fell silently, and he continued on, surprising a few who had hidden in a miniature hole. Eventually, the whole group of that color was lying at his feet, gently breathing.
After the initial fight, most of the changelings had by now hidden deep in the subterranean trenches and floors of the massive cave. On one hand, Jeremy was almost constantly creeped out by the surroundings – on the other, this was easily one of the coolest places he’d ever been. Caves like this back on Earth were restricted from access, presumably for public safety as well as ecological preservation. Here, he could break off stalactites that changelings were hanging onto all he wanted – in fact, it was probably encouraged. Just then, a beep from his headset signaled that Chrysalis was trying to contact him. “Yes?” Jeremy answered as he wandered through the cave, searching for more changelings.
“It’s - oomph! – gotten pretty brutal over here. The other hives are trying to directly kill me and Luna – seems they brought assassins,” Chrysalis haltingly mentioned, sounding as though she were fighting for her life.
“What the hell! Should I get up there?” Jeremy asked.
“No! Stay where you are, and finish the job – we need you to win in order for this nonsense to end. I can handle these idiots, especially with Luna at my side.” An explosion sounded in the background, and Jeremy could vaguely hear Luna shouting angrily in her royal Canterlot voice as changeling screams echoed through the headset.
“Ahaha. Yeah, I guess you two can handle yourselves. Just… don’t die, alright?” he asked, still concerned.
“Love you too, hairless ape. See you in a bit,” Chrysalis mockingly signed off. Grinning once more, Jeremy continued his hunt.
//{end}
Unfortunately, he found them – almost every single remaining changeling had grouped together by the lake. As soon as they saw him, as one they dived in, vanishing from sight. “…The hell?” Jeremy wondered out loud.
“What is it,” Chrysalis answered, sounding much calmer.
“Literally every other changeling just dived into the lake when they saw me.” Chrysalis thought for a while, and the rustling of paper was heard in the background – evidently she was consulting the map.
“If I’m reading this right, there might be another series of caverns that connects to the lake – ordinarily you’re supposed to take a much longer way around.” Jeremy frowned.
“Well, screw that! I can swim, unless it’s more than fifty meters or so.” Chrysalis muttered something to Luna, and she just as inaudibly answered back.
“It should be closer to twenty – and Luna says you really need to learn our unit system.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“Add it to the list of things I’ll do when I get back,” he replied, and gracefully dived into the frigid waters.
Chapter 30
As soon as Jeremy hit the water, he stopped any attempt to be graceful – his suit might have dampened the cold and been waterproof, but the sudden loss of gravity stopped him all the same. Reorienting himself, he looked around for a hole in the lake. He found that an entire section of the wall was missing, resulting in an underwater cave at the edge of the lake. Going back up to the surface to take another breath, he dived down and made for the cave.
Thankfully, Chrysalis had been right: The swim was only a few meters. He poked his helmet out of the other end of the lake, taking in the surroundings. There were a lot of side caves, and he fruitlessly switched to infrared – there were no changelings here. He heard a rustling behind him, and he whipped around to find nothing. Shrugging, he turned back to find that in the short time he was facing away, the entire space in front of him had filled with changelings. Jeremy groaned – this again?
He pointed his weapon forward, only to find it snatched away by a changeling who was close to him, and promptly broken in half. Grinning, the changeling tossed the two pieces off to the side, and faced him. “Jeremy! Run, we can fix the weapon!” cried Luna, evidently watching.
“No! Don’t run, it shows weakness!” Chrysalis countered, and the two quickly started a vicious argument. This irritated Jeremy, and he still had to deal with the oncoming horde – should he attack or not? Sensing that he was indecisive, the crowd pressed in and began biting every inch of him they could reach – none of this actually punctured the thick suit, but it still pinched enough to hurt.
Soon, he was being slowly crushed under an ever-increasing mass of changelings – evidently they had all teamed up just to kill him.
“What art thou – get out of there!” Luna ordered.
“He can’t, you idiot!” Chrysalis retorted, and they resumed their argument.
As Jeremy’s vision turned black, he reflected on his life choices. Maybe he should have ran. Maybe he shouldn’t have given up the weapon so easily. And as he was about to slip away from consciousness from the sheer weight that was pressing down upon his chest cavity and exposed joints, the feeling of mild irritation gave way to a burning, white-hot rage. He hadn’t fought his way through Chrysalis’ entire hive, Celestia and Nightmare Moon, and come back from the dead to be beaten by such a simple tactic as being crushed to death. Everywhere he looked, changelings were laughing and hissing, and he could still hear Luna and Chrysalis frantically arguing in the background. Jeremy decided he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Shut. UP !” he yelled, and in a burst of rage he threw the pile of changelings off of him. There was a shocked silence on the other end of the receiver, and Jeremy didn’t care anymore. No longer worrying about peace, nonviolent confrontation or any of that, Jeremy grabbed the nearest changeling – he remembered this one’s laughing face specifically – and slammed it down onto the stone floor, with enough force to cause the surrounding loose stones to quiver. Something glowed behind him, but he didn’t care, instead solely focusing on ripping the changelings apart. The next one was quickly dispatched by a ruthless foot stomp to the skull, and the others began to run away, screeching. Immediately, Jeremy gave chase.
After a few short seconds of catching up to and ruthlessly pummeling each changeling he came across, Jeremy’s radio alerted him that Luna and Chrysalis were about to speak to him. “Jeremy. We fixed the device, it is lying right where thou left it. Get back here and retrieve thy weapon,” Luna demanded.
“In a moment,” Jeremy muttered as he ripped a changeling off of him and threw it on the ground, stomping on it with his metal boot in a psychotic fury.
“Not just a moment! NOW !” Luna yelled, nearly blowing out the speakers with her royal Canterlot voice. Startled, Jeremy stopped what he was doing and immediately ran back to the spot he had left his weapon, noting that it certainly looked fixed.
“What’s the hurry, anyway?” Jeremy asked as he picked it up.
“I didn’t want you doing something you’d regret,” Luna answered. Jeremy stared for a moment as it hit him that he had snapped. And done exactly what he wasn’t supposed to.
“Ah…” Jeremy started, searching for the right words to finish that sentence. Fortunately, Luna seemed to understand the sentiment.
Chrysalis spoke up, somewhat shocked but trying to sound amused. “The ones you – ahem – ‘caught up to’ aren’t too bad. Gravely injured, but they’ll regenerate – the purple-shelled ones do that.”
Jeremy made a disparaged sound. “I can’t see anything except green down here, but sure. Why the hell do purple ones specifically regenerate?” Chrysalis grumbled, but sounded glad to change the subject.
“Each of the most popular hives goes after love in different manners,” she explained. “I won’t go into what each does, as we really just lure in prospective food differently – suffice it to say that the purple ones try to infiltrate militaries and win them over with their enhanced combat skills, then use the love they get to make themselves stronger and thus attract more military interest. In fact, I believe some countries let them.” Jeremy noted this, half-interested.
He went back to spraying the changelings, and paid extra attention to the ones he had already taken care of, noting with distaste that they had already mostly healed by the time he had gotten back to them. Part of him still wanted to break them – to make sure they would never get up and hurt him again. But he had to keep that under control. Keep moving. Keep spraying.
He was interrupted by a changeling with a seemingly colorless shell beckoning to him, and actually speaking his language. “Over here!” it cried. Jeremy cautiously walked over to find more of the same color of changeling, all huddled inside a crevasse. The one who had spoken addressed him again. “We… um… would like to ally with you. You know, to get rid of the competition.” Jeremy considered the offer – a changeling posse of his own would actually be rather helpful. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between friend and foe on the battlefield.
He turned on his outside microphone, wincing at the audible click it made. “Sounds nice, but I don’t trust anyone here on principle – plus, I’m just going to get you all eventually with this,” he noted, pointing to the spray gun in his hand. The changelings recoiled in fear.
“No! I don’t wanna die!” another female one pleaded. Jeremy stopped, and lowered the weapon in surprise.
“What, you think this kills you?” he asked. The changeling curiously nodded.
Jeremy chuckled. “We said we weren’t killing, remember?” he reminded her. “This gun just puts you to sleep for a few days – no harmful effects whatsoever.” There was a brief bit of confused-sounding hissing among the members of the oddly colored hive.
“Well, it’s not just that,” a male spoke up angrily. Jeremy made a questioning noise in his direction, and judging from the beep in his ear, Chrysalis had just started listening in. “We’re not a very popular hive, and we don’t get much food as it is… if we come back from this fight without scoring a high position, our queen will kill us off just so there are less mouths to feed.”
Jeremy was once again irritated. “We… also said something about infinite love, forever, right? That was a thing, if I recall,” he remarked sarcastically. The changeling nervously shifted its hoof.
“Yes… well… a lot of us hives are skeptical about that – we think Chrysalis is just putting on an unusual act for this Trial in order to confuse the rest. Or maybe she’s just crazy, who knows.” Jeremy was startled out of responding by a vitriolic torrent of combined hissing and speech from Chrysalis – judging from the parts he could understand, she was extra pissed off at that idea.
He quickly switched off his outside mic and advised Chrysalis to save it for later, before continuing his train of thought. “So… you said you needed to score high compared to other hives and they’d leave you alive?” he asked, and the changeling group nodded. “Well… hold that thought, and whatever you do, don’t cross me again. I’ll come find you when everyone else is down.” With that, he left – he had been absent from the game for far too long, and he bet the other competitors were getting complacent.
12-30-13, 9:07 P.M.
Oh, how very wrong he had been. Jeremy stepped out onto a full-on battlefield – so this was what Trials were like without his presence. It had quickly turned into an all-out competition, and the fight was so thick in places that dust clouds obscured those who were actually fighting. Through unknown means, changelings had managed to blast a hole in the roof, letting moonlight through and giving the whole chamber an eerie glow. It was being repaired, and any changeling who dared approach the hole in an attempt to escape was ruthlessly shoved back by none other than Chitin, a massive hoof blocking the way as he guarded the newly made exit from the outside. The changelings bit, slashed with their wings, and kicked at each other viciously, and Jeremy decided he should probably put a stop to this before someone got badly hurt. Taking out the spray gun, he waded around the cavern, sticking to the shadows until he struck with a large burst of the tranquilizer, and then stepping back into invisibility.
This seemed to work, for the most part – a large portion of the changelings had been taken by surprise by his re-entrance and promptly dropped to the floor, breathing peacefully. A few managed to notice his approach, but weren’t able to avoid the liquid spray of his gun. Finally, he took out the last group by firing at random into the air until the ceiling and surrounding changelings were thoroughly coated in the transparent, non-viscous sleeping agents, and dropped out of the air, landing with audible thumps. Jeremy reached a hand up to wipe the sweat from his brow, but was physically stopped by his helmet. Lowering his hand, he felt briefly embarrassed for forgetting it existed – he was acclimatizing way too fast.
He decided to check in with Chrysalis. “Chryssi, Luna, you there?” he asked. There was a distinct silence on the other end.
“…'Chryssi '?” Chrysalis asked, voice dripping with mockery. Jeremy blushed, and thanked science she couldn’t see him.
“It was shorter to pronounce!” Jeremy protested, and Luna could be heard laughing in the background.
“Ugh. You and I have to have a talk about this when you get back – no pet nicknames.” Chrysalis stated flatly.
“Fine,” Jeremy huffed. “Anyway, besides the group I talked to earlier, is that all of them?” Luna stopped laughing in the background.
“…Now that you mention it… yes, I think that’s all of them. So why haven’t the others surrendered yet…?” Chrysalis wondered. Judging from the sounds that happened next, she had been shoved aside, audibly protesting as Luna took the mic.
“We did an echolocation spell for thine area. Something’s coming, and whatever it is, it’s big . Brace thyself.” Jeremy nodded. What could it be? he wondered as he took stock of himself – he was bruised and battered, but otherwise recovering alright from his recent near-death experience. The suit, as usual, was perfectly fine, having once again mysteriously repaired itself. Well… not so mysteriously to Jeremy, at any rate.
Jeremy became aware of a tremor in the ground every few seconds. Getting ready, he hid behind a tall stalagmite jutting out of the ground, gun at the ready. To his surprise, the tremors faded away for a moment, but he wasn’t stepping out just yet. He took a single step out, to look out from the side of the rock formation. The tremors suddenly, violently came back, as if hearing him. Jeremy distinctly remembered that he was in a giant cavern, and sounds echoed. Really, really, well.
{Half Life 2 Episode 2 OST – Vortal Combat}
Youtube Video
A massive changeling burst out of a cave opening, the opening itself enlarged by its entry. Two more appeared from under the lake, and to top it all off, a fourth appeared furled on the ceiling of the cave, where the opening had been earlier. In the background, Luna was yelling at him to do something, while Chrysalis was hurriedly apologizing that she hadn’t seen this coming – not that he was paying much attention. Jeremy vaguely remembered screaming once before they were upon him.
The next few minutes were a series of blurs for Jeremy, but he still was somewhat cognizant of what was happening, and forced himself not to freak out and go berserk again, no matter how much the music made him want to. The first one attempted to stomp him to bits, but there was a hole in its hoof in just the right place – Jeremy dove through it and scampered up its leg, using the other holes as hand- and foot-holds until he was riding atop its back. It screeched and bucked forward, causing Jeremy to begin to slide off – and it was no small drop to the cave floor below. Not wasting a second, he grabbed its hair and swung up to the bridge of its nose, and hurriedly picked himself up. It reared up, flinging him into the air, and opened its mouth expectantly. Jeremy was aware that he couldn’t fly, and really wished someone had done something to fix that. As the mouth closed over him, he gave the entire inside of the changeling’s maw a spray with his sleeper gun, and it stumbled a second before collapsing to the ground, the shock of landing thankfully absorbed for Jeremy by its massive tongue. Grunting with exertion, he crawled out of its mouth to hear Luna cheering. “Fight’s not over yet,” he grumbled, facing the three remaining.
They appeared stunned for a second before all three sprang forward, with the obvious intent to attack him together. After noticing the trajectory of their heads, Jeremy sprang back and two collided with a dull thud. Jeremy took advantage of this to spray both of them up the nostrils with the sleeper gun, distastefully noting how that would’ve felt if it had been done to him – at least they went down quicker from direct ingestion. The final remaining changeling, who had been invisible before it teamed up with its comrades, stalked towards him, hissing angrily. “Yeah? Well c’mon then, let’s see what you got!” Jeremy yelled back, forgetting that his mic was off. It made an attempt to bite him, but seemed to think better of it, evidently remembering what had happened to the others. Instead, it reached out a hoof and casually smacked him, and Jeremy went flying. Thankfully, there was a wall close by – but as Jeremy achingly got up, he thought he’d be seeing stars for weeks. The giant changeling then lowered its head, and charged at him, intending to impale him on the wall with its huge, curved horn – as good as his suit was, Jeremy didn’t think it could take that.
What could he do? There was no way he could escape to the side – he had been thrown into an unfortunately narrow crevasse, just a few feet too deep into the wall for him to escape in time. No going under it, either – its head was so low to the ground he’d be crushed if he tried. Only way out was up, then. Just as it was about to hit, Jeremy jumped up, pushing off of the wall in a desperate attempt to avoid its horn. Unfortunately, he had miscalculated, and tripped over the horn itself, slamming down onto the forehead of the giant. Scrambling up, he noted that the changeling appeared confused – it had expected him to be a smear mark on the wall. Smirking tiredly, he took out his gun, and in a display of bravado for the confused giant, whirled it around once before turning on his mic. “Goodnight,” he jeered, and sprayed the liquid mixture all over its face. The changeling initially resisted before giving over, and dropping with a thump – Jeremy was pitched head over heels, landing with a metallic clang to the changeling’s side.
//{end}
As Jeremy picked himself up, he tried to think. But he was hurt, and tired, and hungry – all he really wanted was to sleep. An obvious question came to mind, and he tuned back in to his headset to find Luna and Chrysalis still cheering. “Hey, girls.” Jeremy mumbled, causing them to stop and shuffle around for a moment before waiting for him expectantly. He tried to remember what he was going to ask, succeeding after a moment's wait.
“So… is it over?”
Chapter 31
12-30-13, 10:47 P.M.
God, Jeremy was hungry. He mentally smacked himself for not bringing food to this – he had stupidly assumed he’d be able to finish this fight sooner than the others. He was partially right – this was the fastest he’d ever killed a large group. Or… wait, right, he wasn’t killing. Incapacitating? No, he hadn’t done that before, so the analogy was ruined. Oh well. Point was, he was hungry, and very, very tired.
As he wandered through the caves, he recalled Luna’s advice: Find that last group, take them out carefully, and exit the cave the same way he entered. He wandered around for a while, silent – he wasn’t going to make it too obvious for them. Finally, as he admired the crystal formations on a wall, he was tackled by a colorless-shelled changeling, teeth dripping with what might have been saliva or venom. Jeremy squirmed to extricate himself, finally succeeding in throwing the changeling off. As he started to climb to his feet, more appeared out of nowhere and held him down, and the changeling he had spoken to earlier came out of the gloom of the cave, hissing eerily. He struggled for a while, but not too hard – putting on a show was so much easier than actually fighting. Finally, as she reared back to bite, he rolled out of the way, twisting his arms uncomfortably as she stopped and attempted to pin him down again. Bursting up, he threw the remaining changelings off of him and whipped out his gun, only managing to drop a few before they got out of range. They charged him, knocking the gun from his hand – were they faking or not? Jeremy was starting to get confused – he thought the agreement was that he would eliminate them last, but they were clearly going for first. Mentally shrugging, he punched the nearest changeling in the face before scrambling for his sleeper gun. One changeling got to it first, and sprayed it at him. Jeremy stumbled back, wiping the tranquilizer off of his helmet – he didn’t know if the onboard air filters could take out that much. After clearing his vision somewhat, he made a grab for the weapon, only to see it tossed over his head. Okay, now he was irritated – he hated Keep-Away games. As a changeling near to him caught it, he took advantage of its distraction to deliver a roundhouse to its neck – it dropped like a stone, clutching where he had hit with its hooves. Jeremy frowned – he hadn’t intended to do that. Was he getting too bloodthirsty again? Best to finish this quickly. He took his weapon back, and quickly fired at the changelings who had closed in again, and they all dropped. Finally, he took care of the changeling who was still on the ground, moaning in pain, and it slumped to the floor, almost gratefully.
As Jeremy trudged out of the cave and into the open sunlight, he noted the stares of the changelings around him – they clearly regarded him with fear. Some openly stumbled back as he walked past, and Jeremy gave a tired sigh before finally coming over to Chrysalis and Luna. Luna held out a hoof for a hug, but instead of taking it he collapsed against the wall, not daring to remove his helmet in case of a surprise attack. Luna quickly sat beside him, placing a hoof around his shoulders – he was slumped so low against the wall he might as well have been laying down. Art thou alright? Luna mentally asked.
Jeremy took a while before answering – now that the usual battle adrenaline had worn off, his thoughts came slowly and disjointedly. No , he finally answered, and Luna frowned but didn’t press him. Looking over wearily, he saw Chrysalis accepting her odd little crown back – when had she lost it? Jeremy couldn’t remember.
12-31-13, 8:04 A.M.
The preparations had been made for their departure – surprisingly, they were traveling by land this time. Even more surprisingly, Chitin was carrying them home, and Jeremy, Luna and Chrysalis rode on his back as he crashed through the treetops, managing to only knock a few over in the process. Jeremy was unusually silent for most of this, and Luna seemed to notice, not saying anything in turn. Chrysalis was carrying on a hissed conversation with Chitin, who’s deep rumbling responses made his whole body vibrate in a sensation that was not altogether unwelcomed. Of course, Jeremy was focused on something very different as he finally got around to pulling his helmet off, and stashing it in the extradimensional void his suit carried with it.
“Luna?” Jeremy asked, his voice sounding small. Luna looked over at him, concerned – this was a new tone for Jeremy. His voice usually ranged from sarcasm and snark to concern for others or apathetic resignation, with rare interludes of joy or rage.
“…Yes?” Luna prompted. Jeremy stared at the ground for a while before answering.
“Can I quit my job?” Chrysalis looked over, now concerned as well.
Luna stared at him for a while. “Why?” she finally asked. Jeremy gave a deep sigh.
“It’s just… Making all these weapons… and then using them to fight things… it’s killing me.” Luna merely looked at him. Jeremy buried his face in his hands. “I can’t take it anymore! I keep fighting, and fighting, and everyone I love looks at me like I’m a monster. And maybe I am! How can I tell?!” he hysterically finished. Chrysalis attempted to place a calming hoof on his shoulder, but he shook it off. “First thing before I got here, I killed over a hundred people. Next thing? Gunned down a bunch of changelings. And then what? I fought off a crazed mare, and died. And now I’m back to do – what? Kill more ?” Luna interrupted his ramblings by grabbing him by the shoulders with her hooves and shaking him hard.
“Jeremy, look at me,” she commanded. When Jeremy refused to do so, she used a hoof to move his head for him. “Defending thy life is no act of evil. We cannot undo the things thou hast done, or thy perception of them. But we are here to help thee move on.” Jeremy acknowledged this with a nod. “If thou still want to quit thy job, we will accommodate. But… please don’t ever think thou art a monster.”
Chrysalis nodded at him. “I might not have your body count, but I know what you’re going through – and I’m sure Luna and Celestia do too. We’ve all been monsters, and we all have our own ways of coping with it – just let us help you.” This was an unusually serious tactic for Chrysalis, which snapped Jeremy out of his self-pity. He gave them a tired smile.
“Yeah… you’re right. And… I’m not sure about my job. I just… can I have a few days to work that out?” Luna nodded.
“Take all the time thou need,” she answered, wrapping a hoof around him.
“You know, there are better ways to get out of work,” Chrysalis commented, back to her old snide tone. Then she frowned. “Sorry, was that insensitive?”
Luna glared at her. “A little bit, yes.” Chrysalis drooped her head, and Jeremy reached over and tousled it.
“Relax, I’m not that mad,” he replied, and Chrysalis enjoyed the attention for a moment before Luna protested, clamoring for his affection as well. As the three laughed and relaxed together, Jeremy sighed inwardly – but this time with a modicum of content. Sure, his life had been hell. But it had also been heaven, in a way – and he was fighting as hard as he could to keep it that way.
After a while, the earlier tension had all but been forgotten. Luna and Chrysalis were curled up on either side of him, and he had a hand on both of their manes. Luna was asleep, her job of lowering the moon accomplished. Chrysalis was still awake, but only barely. Jeremy, still wide awake, was reflecting on the insanity that had been and continued to be his life. When he had burst out back there, he had seriously considered running away from all of this. But now? He realized he couldn’t do it. Here were more sources of joy and happiness than he had ever had back home. Leaving Luna? Impossible. He would die for her – already had, in fact, and would gladly do it again. Chrysalis… She used to be callous towards his feelings, and was the only one here he knew could rise to the same level of sarcasm he himself displayed frequently, but she had changed recently. Speaking of which… “Chrysalis?” he asked.
The Queen looked up at him. “Yes?” she asked.
“I don’t mean to insult, but… you were always so negative. And sarcastic, and snarky. Why, then, are you so…” Jeremy spread his hands in search of a suitable word.
“Happy?” Chrysalis finished, smirking at him.
“Sure,” he replied. Chrysalis looked away.
“I could give the usual answer, but… why not. I’ll tell you the truth,” she responded, somber. “I first started changing my attitude when you started helping me, with the food problem,” she began, still serious. “No pony had ever dared to build such a thing before, let alone deliver it to the Hive in person. They run at the sight of me. To them, I’m a freak of nature – don’t deny it, you know that’s how they see us!” Chrysalis exclaimed, seeing him about to protest. “We’re a mutated version of them, with holes, and insect-like parts. Legend has it we steal their babies and replace them with our own, converting their babies into more of ourselves – not that we would bother with such an enterprise,” she hastily amended when Jeremy looked at her. “But you… you were never culturally trained to hate us. So… when you brought down our entire army, using the same technology we stole from you, I thought it was the final proof that nobody could ever like us - that even a race as warlike and dangerous as our own couldn't bring themselves to respect us.” Jeremy frowned, and she looked down. “But then you came to my cell – you might have done it out of boredom, or curiosity. But you visited. And… you were so different . You refused to demonize me – and then you stood up for me, in royal court, against two who I had considered your closest friends. So then I was confused – what were your motives? Did you simply want to trick me into thinking you had forgiven me, so you could follow me to the Hive and kill off the remaining changelings?” Jeremy grimaced. “But… you never gave any indication of being anything other than sincere. You didn’t even try to seduce me or anything. It was the first time anyone had done such a thing with no intent other than helping me, and let me tell you, it shocked me,” she admitted. “Then, after just a week’s scant work, you stood there, grinning like an idiot as the problem that had consumed all my waking hours was solved. Just like that.” She paused to catch her breath.
“Being a changeling, I’m used to manipulation and lying. It’s part of our culture, in the same way violence is a part of yours.” Jeremy made a disgruntled noise, and Chrysalis gave him a small smile. “But to make such a rebound like that – from our worst enemy to our best friend, without skipping a beat – it made me realize something. Maybe my perception of being hated was my own design – maybe I could be liked if I made an effort. So… I made an effort. It was hard, at first – I wanted to scorn you, like I’ve done before. But you were always so accommodating, even if you didn’t say it out loud. And… it worked. We became friends. And to tell the truth? For the first time, I was nervous about going further. What if you spurned me? I didn’t think I could take that,” she admitted, head drooped. “I mean, I thought it could never work from the start, when you said you were monogamous. But then you changed – and that was what really won me over. You went against everything you’d been taught, just to make me happy.” Chrysalis looked away, cringing as though she expected him to be angry. “And what's worse, you didn't stop there - it's like no matter what I do, or how I mess up, you won't ever hold it against me. I... I don't understand it..." she admitted, lip quivering.
Jeremy pulled her into a tight hug, eyes watering as he laid his head on top of hers. “Chrysalis... I think that's called 'love'," he answered.
She looked up at him, mouth opening in surprise. Jeremy smiled down at her, blushing, and after a moment, she returned it, and settled back down so that she could lay on his lap.
After a moment more of silence, Chrysalis struck on a new topic. “What are you going to do when we get back?” she asked. Jeremy was surprised by the mundane nature of the question – he’d heard it before at the end of camping trips, or vacations. Certainly not while riding on the back of a giant alien while conversing with a smaller alien that he was in love with.
“I… I’m probably going to work on heading home, figuring out the interuniversal stuff so we can hang together.” Chrysalis smiled.
“Never a dull moment, hmm?”
Jeremy gave a tired nod. “You have no idea,” he muttered.
She grinned. “Oh, I think I do~,” she growled playfully. Jeremy gave her a shove, and she actually started to slip down Chitin’s back before he hurriedly pulled her back up, apologizing. “Oh, stop! I could have just flown up, you sap,” Chrysalis teased. Jeremy frowned as this obvious conclusion hit him.
“Well… still…” he mumbled, and Chrysalis kissed him on the lips, shocking him into silence. As she pulled away, she grinned. “You are such a hopeless romantic,” she remarked.
“Is that a bad thing?” Jeremy asked as he pulled her back onto his lap and began rubbing her belly.
“Ooohhh… not at all…” Chrysalis replied, before once again making that odd purring noise. She covered her mouth, and Jeremy gently pried her hooves off before continuing.
“Did I mention I love that sound?” he commented. After a moment of seeming indecision, Chrysalis actually blushed before succumbing to his hands. Jeremy grinned – he had actually won a blush from her.
As they entered Chrysalis’ hive, Jeremy looked up, feeling like he had just returned home after a long vacation. “Hive, sweet hive,” he happily commented. Chrysalis grinned, and gave out a jubilant hiss. Immediately, the hive sprang to life, changelings pouring out of every corner to greet their queen. Upon seeing her crown still on her head, they grew more excited. Chitin lumbered off to his duties, leaving Jeremy and Luna to watch as Chrysalis was swarmed by her adoring drones. After a moment more of Chrysalis joyfully conversing with her changelings, they turned to him and Luna, quickly surrounding them before raising them up into the air. Jeremy froze in fear, unused to the sudden change in elevation, and Luna was similarly surprised.
“What? Isn’t this what you do for celebrities?” Chrysalis asked, noting their looks.
“…Yes…” Jeremy answered after a moment. He gave a confused, but happy grin, and Luna looked over at him. “Looks like you’re quite the returning hero these days,” she commented. Jeremy gave her a genuine smile at the reference.
For a while, they stayed there, and the mood was festive as the changelings partied in their own special style. Jeremy, unused to parties of any sort, simply stayed off to the side, calmly conversing with any changeling that approached him but otherwise not making any attempt at being social. Only when Luna pulled him into a conversation of hers did he begin to relax, and even then it was difficult to resist the urge to escape the conversation. Not that it wasn’t bad – Jeremy found himself more and more interested as he listened. As far as lifestyle went, just talking like this wasn’t nearly as hard as fighting – and he was determined to appreciate the break in pace.
Chapter 32
1-1-14, 12:07 P.M.
Jeremy attempted to roll out of bed to find that his bed was liquid. And he was naked. He made a startled sound as he attempted to escape, only to find Chrysalis staring at him. “Is it really that bad?” she asked. Jeremy looked down at the cocoon he had just been in, filled with green slime.
“Well… no… I guess not,” he sleepily answered. “Just… I’ve never woken up like that before…”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Get used to it – if you want to sleep with me, I’m not settling for those ridiculous ‘beds’. Too uncomfortable.”
Jeremy shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, sure, I guess. What even happened last night?”
Chrysalis laughed. “After you passed out midway through the conversation, I offered to escort you to bed while Luna left to catch up with Celestia.” Jeremy frowned.
“I passed out? I didn’t think I was that tired…” Chrysalis chuckled.
“After what you just did? Nobody blamed you for still being exhausted.” She teleported a set of clothes next to him, and a towel. After attempting to wipe as much of the oddly viscous slime as possible from his body, Jeremy gratefully pulled them on.
Chrysalis then walked over to the secret lab, and Jeremy followed, once again thankful that the odd properties of the carbon-like, porous substance that coated every wall prevented any dust or dirt in the cramped passageway. He entered the lab to find that his suit was there, once again in pristine condition. “You know, I think I’ll leave it here for now,” he commented. Chrysalis looked at him in surprise.
“You’re not worried about anyone attacking you?” Jeremy made a so-so motion with his hand.
“Not really – you’re still officially queen, and I’ve got no current political problems with Equestria.”
Chrysalis slapped a hoof to her forehead. “I meant on Earth, you id- er…” Jeremy smirked at her.
“Okay, yes, that’s a fair point,” he noted, choosing to ignore the insult. Chrysalis visibly relaxed, and he looked at her in consternation as he pulled the suit on. “You don’t have to keep a civil tongue around me – half my friends call me the worst names imaginable in good fun.”
Chrysalis appeared surprised at this, before shaking her head and smiling. “You humans are just so… refreshingly odd.”
Jeremy laughed. “I could say the same about everyone here.”
They discussed what had happened after he had won. A group of delegates, one from each Hive that made it to the final five groups, presented Chrysalis with her crown, which had been taken away from her at the start of the Trial. Chrysalis then unveiled the love machine, showed how it worked, and allowed every changeling in the room to have a taste, making sure to keep it away from Jeremy due to his earlier requests. After that, the changeling delegates had very quickly acquiesced to her new rules, and Chrysalis had arranged their transport home. Jeremy looked embarrassed for a moment, before Chrysalis asked him what was wrong. “Well, it’s just… You talking about how I don’t manipulate or lie reminded me… I put a self-destruct in that love device, in case you ever betrayed me.” Chrysalis appeared surprised for a moment, before bursting out laughing.
After a moment, she calmed down enough to explain. “I knew that – Luna told me when you were… gone. I was angry at first, but I got over it.” Jeremy noted this with interest – she didn’t even care? Chrysalis lightly punched him in the waist with her hoof. “As if I’d be that angry that you were intelligent enough to prevent my betraying you – that’s just common sense!” After a minute of intense confusion, Jeremy mentally shrugged – changelings .
He departed cheerfully, Chrysalis stopping him at the last minute to steal a quick kiss. “Get a hold of me when you get that portal working, okay?” she muttered.
Jeremy nodded. “See you when I see you,” he replied, and exited through the portal. Walking out into the bright Equestrian sunlight, he at first shielded his eyes.
Ponies stared at him for only a moment before going back about their business – and this time they were only making comments about his alien attire. Jeremy smiled and walked to the throne room – he was fairly certain that his update on events counted as “royal business”.
Celestia was calmly sitting there as usual, answering questions about various aspects of Equestrian life and signing documents. Jeremy calmly stood in line, subtly trying to keep his posture straight while still appearing relaxed. To his delighted surprise, the line didn’t take long – Celestia’s judgment on each item was well-reasoned, quick and as to be expected, final. Finally, it was his turn, and he approached her with a small smile on his face. “How goes it, Jeremy?” she asked politely.
“Better,” Jeremy answered, assuming Luna had told her about his outburst. “Chrysalis is still Queen, so no worries there – and they’re working on being a more peaceful nation.” Celestia nodded.
“Excellent. By the way, see me after dinner?” she asked. Jeremy nodded.
“You got it. Have a great day!” he called as he left. Before he could exit the castle entirely, he was stopped by a royal sun guard, who promptly took him up a back staircase and through a corridor before arriving at Luna’s door. “Isn’t she asleep?” Jeremy wondered. The guard shrugged and knocked once before leaving him there.
“Enter!” Luna’s voice called, and Jeremy stepped inside.
As usual, her room was messier than Celestia’s, being covered in books and all manner of papers and notes. “Hey, you’re up. In the daytime. What gives?” Jeremy asked, confused.
“Our sleep schedule’s all messed up ever since we headed over there, so we are taking a day off to recuperate. And we heard thee downstairs, so we sent a guard down. We have something new to show thee!” And without further ado, she pressed a button next to her bed and a portal opened on the wall, leading into solid blackness. “Hmm… well, thou do have the suit on…” mused Luna, and used her magic to push him through. Jeremy fell through the void, yelling in shock as he landed on seemingly nothing. He looked up at where he thought he had entered from.
“Luna, what the hell, where am I?” he asked, still a little frightened and irritated from the sudden change.
“Oh, just wait for it!” she called back.
Wait for what ? Jeremy wondered, dreading and yet anticipating what might happen. A loud electronic noise started, and he covered his ears, only to open them in surprise. “Rise and shine, Dr. Freeman… rise and… shine…” an eerily familiar voice opened, and Jeremy was surrounded by odd hallucinations. “No way. No way ,” he exclaimed, instantly delighted.
“We thought this might help thee blow off some steam and keep thyself in shape.” Jeremy laughed.
“This is the best thing ! Thank you, so much!” He contented himself with watching the intro scene for a while longer, before experiencing the odd sensation that was being spatially inserted into a train. Reminding himself, he called out to Luna, hoping she could still hear him.
“We can hear thee regardless of thy volume. What is it?” she asked, with amusement.
“I have to see Celestia at dinner, so don’t leave me in here too long.” Luna gave him a thoughtful hum.
“If thou wish to exit, simply think about opening a door somewhere in the game to here.” Jeremy interestedly took note of this.
Hours had passed before he wished to quit – and the door instantly opened in the side of a wall as soon as he thought about it. “What time is it?” Jeremy asked as he exited the odd pocket dimension, the coat of blood and sweat vanishing off of him as soon as he stepped through.
“About 3 P.M., thou art fine,” Luna replied without looking up from her latest book. Jeremy sat down on the edge of the bed with her, and stroked her hair, and Luna sighed contentedly.
A few more hours passed, and it was time for dinner. Jeremy and Luna attended together, eating inside the castle as was custom during the winter months – and of course it was magically warm. After he finished, which was as usual much faster than anyone else, Jeremy approached Celestia, who swallowed her bite of food before addressing him. “You said I was to see you?” he asked. Celestia cleaned her face off with a napkin before nodding and standing up, motioning for him to follow. Surprised that she had interrupted dinner for this, Jeremy followed her down to a secret staircase, accessed by her horn only. Inside was a single stone panel, and Celestia used her magic to press a button. A portal opened, golden yellow in color, and his room – his bedroom , on Earth – was visible through it. Jeremy looked at her.
“You can leave anytime you wish,” Celestia stated, wiping a tear from her eye. Jeremy noticed with dismay the look of sorrow on her face.
“Aw, don’t act like that – it’s not forever, I’ll probably visit every day!” he protested. Celestia shook her head to clear it.
“I… of course,” she replied thickly. Jeremy hugged her tightly.
“As if I would ever leave this behind,” he muttered. Celestia smiled, and pulled away, trying to appear regal once more.
“So… when do you plan to… head back?” she asked, clearly trying to make such a thing sound non-permanent.
“Tonight, I guess. I already invited Chrysalis to hang out on Earth sometime – you and Luna are welcome to join whenever you get time off,” he mentioned. Celestia nodded wisely.
“I think we’ll take you up on that,” she answered, and the two went back to dinner.
The evening was uneventful, and after a while of waiting Jeremy traipsed back to the hive to alert Chrysalis that he was going to Earth. Almost immediately, she bounded out of the portal and stared at him expectantly. “…What, you’re coming with? Now?” he asked, perplexed.
Chrysalis looked at him, hurt. “I thought you wanted me to attend?” she retorted. Jeremy made a calming motion with his hands.
“I just meant – don’t you have queenly duties or something?” Chrysalis shook her head.
“My drones are building more love machines – once we get those distributed to the individual hives, I won’t have to do much of anything for a while.” After a moment, Jeremy shrugged and turned around, leading her out the door and into the Canterlot streets.
Ponies who saw Chrysalis immediately moved to the other side of the street, skittish at her presence. “How come they didn’t run when you were at the karaoke thing?” Jeremy wondered.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I could tell they wanted to, but their princess was there.” Jeremy grimaced.
Finally, they came to the throne room. Jeremy entered, and stopped. Chrysalis looked at him curiously. “What?” she asked. Jeremy cleared the memory from his head – that begrudging glare of Celestia’s would never quite leave him – and instead decided to continue on. Luna merely nodded in his direction, and he smiled at her as he wandered over to the corridor that led to the secret staircase. To his dismay, Celestia’s horn-based lock was closed.
“Well… shoot. Forgot about this. Celestia’s probably asleep, too…” he thought out loud. He leaned against the door, intending to puzzle out what to do next, when it swung open, and he toppled over. Chrysalis laughed, and he grumblingly picked himself up off the floor.
Taking the steps down two at a time, Jeremy approached the blank dead end of the staircase. “Why do they even have this staircase, anyway? It doesn’t lead anywhere…” Jeremy mused. Chrysalis had no answer for this, and Jeremy reached out and pressed the button to activate the portal. It did so, opening with a small tremor, and Jeremy stepped through. He looked for Chrysalis at his side, but she was struggling to enter, pushing against some unseen barrier.
“I can’t get through!” she burst as she pushed and strained. Jeremy tried to think of how this might have happened, laughing slightly as Chrysalis pushed against nothing.
“Oh, wait, I got it. I have to give you permission or something. Um… I, Jeremy, give Queen Chrysalis permission to enter and exit this portal as she pleases.” Chrysalis instantly toppled through when he finished the sentence, and he resumed his laughter from earlier as she glared at him. “Now we’re even,” he remarked, and looked around. His bedroom was just as he remembered it, which was always a good thing.
Chrysalis examined his room. It was typically messy, to the point that walking on any given part of the floor would make noise due to the papers and plastic objects that were strewn everywhere. Jeremy explained that this was on purpose, and Chrysalis shrugged. He went over to his computer, and booted it up, waiting a while. Once everything was loaded, he examined his games – he had completely forgotten about some of the newer ones he had gotten after Luna had copied over his old computer data, and wondered if he could get the new stuff over in Equestria as well. Chrysalis was preoccupied by the TV in a corner of the room, fascinatedly pressing buttons and changing channels. She noticed the long-abandoned console plugged in, and picked it up. “You have more games?” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, I stopped playing those a while ago,” Jeremy offhandedly mentioned. Once he was satisfied everything was in order, he opened his email and promptly stood up – at the rate his emails loaded on this old thing, he would have a while to wait. “Want to see the lab?” he called out to Chrysalis, who reluctantly abandoned the TV to follow him once more.
When they went downstairs, she was quickly distracted by his food stores – more specifically, his fridge. “Luna wasn’t kidding – you do have meat in here!” Chrysalis exclaimed. Jeremy looked over, somewhat embarrassed.
“Yeah… sorry you had to see that…” he shamefacedly muttered. Chrysalis looked at him.
“Hey… it’s alright, I don’t care…” she responded, consolingly. Jeremy cleared his throat.
“Yeah… I just feel like I should now…” he mumbled. Jeremy opened the garage door, and led her out to an unused third car bay. This area was stocked with both Jeremy’s lab and the gardening equipment, which was perpetually rusty due to his younger self not understanding about acid fumes.
Beakers and flasks covered a wood worktable, which was stained with bright and varying colors of chemicals long since cleaned up. “Not a big fan of organization, are you?” Chrysalis asked, staring at the mess.
“A clean chemist is a lazy chemist,” Jeremy answered.
With not much else to do, he went back upstairs and entered his own bathroom in hopes of taking a shower, closing the door behind him. "You alright in there?" Chrysalis asked.
"Yeah, humans just need privacy when in the bathroom," Jeremy answered, and turned on the running water. For the next few minutes, he relaxed as the warm water washed away his troubles.
About half an hour later, he got out and got dressed again, this time in his pajamas. Finally, he grabbed a comb and made his way to the mirror, noticing the door had been opened. Smirking, he decided to ignore it, and resumed combing his hair. He had only just touched the comb to his hair when Chrysalis peeked through the door, and made a startled squeak at the sight of him. "What are you doing ?!" she asked frantically, trying to take the comb from his hand.
"Combing... my hair?" Jeremy answered, feeling both startled and confused as he resisted her attempts to take his comb.
"But... you don't have to do that anymore!" Chrysalis cried, eyes watering as she looked up at him. Jeremy stared at her for a second, then put the comb on the countertop, leaning down to her eye level.
"Is there something I'm missing here?" he asked, and Chrysalis mouth opened in surprise.
"You don't... of course, you don't know! Oh, I'm sorry for yelling at you," she apologized. "It's changeling tradition to let your partner style your hair, so when I saw you doing it yourself..." she trailed off. Jeremy swept her into a hug.
"Sorry, I wasn't aware. Do you... do you want to comb my hair for me?" he asked, feeling embarrassed at asking such a question. Chrysalis immediately smiled, and nodded. Gently, she opened her mouth and lowered it towards his head, biting down on a lock of his hair - Jeremy shivered slightly at the odd sensation, as well as having her fangs so close to him. Slowly, she began to use her fangs as a sort of comb, teasing out the kinks and tangles in his curly swathe of copper hair with a practiced rhythm. "That does feel kinda good..." Jeremy mumbled as she laid her head on top of his quietly.
A few minutes later, she finished, and Jeremy examined his new hairstyle in the mirror. It wasn't much different from what he usually looked like - though she had neatly styled the hairline. "Looks good," he complimented, and Chrysalis blushed green. With that, he headed to the bedroom.
Chrysalis looked like she wanted to poke around some more, but Jeremy mentioned wanting to sleep and she instantly joined his side, looking up at him with a smile. “Do you want to use the guest bedroom? Or, wait, you mentioned something about a cocoon earlier,” Jeremy remembered. Chrysalis waved a hoof, dismissing his concerns.
“I forgot to bring it… so why don’t I sleep in your bed tonight?” she asked, grinning. Jeremy gave her an embarrassed grin of his own.
“I hope you enjoy me fidgeting constantly,” he replied. Chrysalis laughed, climbing into his bed as Jeremy changed into pajamas.
“Just don’t knock me out of bed,” she admonished, and Jeremy chuckled as he got into bed with her, immediately hugging her tightly. Chrysalis appeared surprised, staring at him with her luminous green eyes before slowly placing her hooves around his shoulders to return the hug. "I... thank you, Jeremy," she whispered. "For everything."
Chapter 33
1-2-14, 8:43 A.M.
When Jeremy woke up, he was still too sleepy to think much of Chrysalis still being next to him. She rolled over, and sleepily bit him on the forearm. It didn’t penetrate, it was more of a pinch, but Jeremy was still very uncomfortable. She opened her eyes, and noticed what she was doing, quickly unlatching and sitting up in horror, frantically apologizing. “Were you… feeding off of me?” Jeremy hesitantly asked. Chrysalis looked away before nodding. Jeremy tapped her on the shoulder, and offered his forearm. She looked at it in surprise. “Well? It’s yours, after all,” Jeremy commented. Chrysalis seemed unsure of what to do. Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Girl, I’m not going to starve you while we’re here. Hurry up, already!” Chrysalis looked at him, the tiniest hint of gratitude expressing itself in a small smile on her face before she gently bit back into his forearm. A pink vapor seeped out of the bite marks, and she stayed like that for a while before unlatching once more.
“Thanks, I… thanks,” she muttered.
Jeremy smiled. “Anytime.”
It was a casual day as Jeremy caught up with his homework, stopping occasionally as Chrysalis questioningly brought up item after item for him to explain. When she was downstairs digging in the garage, he composed an email to the last Hasbro employee to contact him. “Hey, so I got back,” it started off. “Kinda confused about a few things. First, what’s up with the time synchronization? I don’t want to find out today that it’s been a month for them when I get back, or something. Second, try to stay out of Canterlot if at all possible, or give me a heads-up if the six head over there. Third? You guys aren’t the only authors out here…” Signing off with his name, he sent it just as Chrysalis came up, levitating a coffee grinder that had once contained aluminum foil. Jeremy smiled as he began to explain.
Finally, finding nothing else to do, Jeremy decided to head back through the portal to check up on Equestria. Carrying his phone with him, he was surprised to discover that he still had wi-fi, although it wasn’t usable if he was outside the castle. Chrysalis opted to stay at his house, still curious about Earth. Celestia was pleased to see him, greeting him with a wave – she was as busy as ever with her various royal duties. Luna was asleep, so he went over to his computer at the office. To his pleasure, he found that it had updated to include the more recent games he had acquired. He had lunch with Celestia in the royal dining hall, and afterwards headed back through the portal, once again finding himself bored. Maybe Chrysalis had found something they could do?
To his surprise, Chrysalis was surfing through websites, using her magic to push keys and her hoof on the mouse. As soon as she saw him, she choked and hurriedly clicked away from her tab. Jeremy placed his hands on his hips. “Alright… what did you find?” he asked, reminding himself of his own parents. Chrysalis was blushing too hard to answer, and seemed to be holding back laughter. Jeremy waited patiently, and she finally calmed down.
“I… oh, you’ve just got to see it,” she replied and clicked back. Jeremy himself blushed as it depicted an extremely lewd picture of Chrysalis herself.
“Um . Yeah, that’s… a fan-made picture,” he falteringly explained. Chrysalis laughed louder, nearly slipping out of her chair.
“And here I thought we were just a wriggler’s entertainment!” she taunted, still laughing as hard as she could. Jeremy gave an embarrassed laugh. What was he supposed to say in this? After a while, she calmed down enough to breathe. Chrysalis turned to him, smirking. “So… I found some pretty interesting ones on here. Feel like acting them out?” she seductively asked, and Jeremy’s heart missed a beat as he went right back to blushing.
“Um… no. No, I’m good, thanks!” he stammered. Chrysalis went back to laughing at his reaction.
“Relax, I wouldn’t do that to you,” she chuckled. Jeremy took a moment to still his beating heart. “What’s gotten you so flustered, anyway?” Chrysalis asked. “I didn’t see anything too out of the ordinary.” Jeremy looked at her in disbelief.
“Clearly you weren’t looking hard enough,” he muttered. Chrysalis gave him a suspicious look, but shrugged it off. For a while, Jeremy showed her some of his favorite websites – mostly science sites, with only a single, obscure social media account. Chrysalis perused these briefly, and moved on to her own research projects – among them, Jeremy caught various news sites. He read an article with her on recent Middle East conflicts. “Planning something?” he sarcastically asked. Chrysalis shook her head.
“No, but your news reports are fascinating – to see deaths discussed so casually…” Jeremy shrugged.
“Yeah, it happens.” He left to get lunch.
By the time he came back, Chrysalis had headphones on and was staring at a YouTube video, a rapt expression on her face. Smiling, Jeremy decided not to interrupt her, and instead focused on continuing a book he had begun reading a few days ago. This continued on for a few hours, and Jeremy was relieved at the rest – he felt that his life in Equestria was always far too hectic. Was this how Celestia and Luna felt about their jobs? Still vaguely on this train of thought, Jeremy was extremely surprised when Luna tapped him on the shoulder. “Good evening! We see Chrysalis is enjoying herself,” Luna noted, watching Chrysalis as she clicked through yet more videos – judging from the titles, they were all love songs.
“Yep. I might have to intervene at some point – she’s been on there for hours,” Jeremy replied. Apparently, Chrysalis heard this, as she hastily took off her headphones and paused the video, swinging around the chair to face the pair of them.
“Sorry, I just… alien culture, you know?” she commented. Jeremy smirked.
“Can I check my email?” he asked, and Chrysalis got up and stretched, trotting over to Luna and striking up a conversation about her day as Jeremy logged in. As he waited for the computer to load his messages, he reflected on how friendly Chrysalis and Luna were being – he had half expected some sort of jealousy amongst his three mares. Hearing them giggling in the background, he elected to ignore it and focused on reading the latest emails.
Most were spam, one or two were petitions he didn’t feel like signing, and there was just one from Hasbro. Interested, Jeremy opened this one. “Dear Jeremy,” he mentally read. “The synchronization should be 1:1 – we’re not sure if we can do anything about that, but we’ll see how things work. As for Canterlot, Twilight should only visit in this season’s final, so you don’t have to worry about that. And what do you mean on that last line?” Jeremy composed a quick response, noticing yet more giggling and muttering behind him.
“Sounds good to me – P.L. just checked in on time, so I think it all worked out? Who knows. Any tips on knowing when to avoid the finale? Oh, and whatever you do, don’t mess with a certain mint pony… -Jeremy” He sent it, and turned around to find Luna blushing as Chrysalis whispered into her ear.
“Oh, for god’s – did you have to?” he asked Chrysalis, instantly catching on. Chrysalis giggled.
“Seeing her reaction was almost as good as seeing yours!” Luna looked at him, interested.
“We wish to see some of these!” she proclaimed in the most serious voice possible. Jeremy froze and went straight back to blushing, and Chrysalis was on her back, struggling once again to breathe as peals of laughter echoed through the room. Luna looked at her, confused. “What is so amusing?” she asked. Jeremy was still too embarrassed to answer, and Luna got this after a few seconds. "Ah... er... we are sorry, if we have said something wrong..." she said, perplexed.
"No, it's fine!" Jeremy barely managed to squeak out. Chrysalis laughed even harder.
"Do you have a camera anywhere?" she asked him, cracking up. "I want to take a picture of this beautiful memory!"
Luna was looking back and forth between them, before finally giving up with a shrug. "As the foals say, what ever."
Just then, Jeremy was reminded of a rather important conversation. "Say, Luna... I know Celestia isn't here, but do you want to talk about that thing we discussed while flying?" he asked, and Luna stiffened. She looked at him, frowning.
"Do we... do we have to?" she asked, and Jeremy solemnly nodded. Chrysalis looked over, interested, and Luna cleared her throat. "W-well... thou see, Queen Chrysalis... ever since thou and mine sister hath entered this relationship, we have been feeling..." she trailed off.
"Envious?" Chrysalis suggested, and Luna looked up at her in surprise. Chrysalis frowned at her. "I can sense emotions, remember? I've been picking up on your stress for some time now. Let me guess: You feel like this relationship isn't what you wanted, and now you're scared because you think you'll turn back into Nightmare Moon or something," she lectured, and Luna's mouth fell open in shock. Even Jeremy raised an eyebrow at the deduction. Looking at them, Chrysalis held up her hooves. "Well, am I right or not?" she asked, and Luna hesitantly nodded.
"Yes... thou art correct. But... thou don't hate us for feeling this way?" she asked, and Chrysalis snorted in amusement.
"Hardly. Jealousy's a perfectly natural emotion, no matter what you ponies might say. As for what you worry about, I'll say this much: There is nothing to worry about. He has the rest of his life to spend with you, it's not like there's a rush to compete or anything. You want him to yourself for a day? Take him, we'll understand. Ah, with his consent, of course," Chrysalis hastily added, noticing Jeremy looking at her. He smiled, acknowledging this, and she smiled back before turning back to Luna. "Point is, if you feel you need him more than we do, go for it - just don't leave us out of the loop entirely, okay?" Chrysalis finished, and waited for Luna's response.
To the changeling queen's surprise, Luna engulfed her in a hug. "Thank you... thank you..." she mumbled into Chrysalis' shoulder. Chrysalis nervously patted her on the back, and looked at Jeremy, who could only shrug. Luna moved on to him next, and he gladly returned her embrace, stroking her mane.
"See? I told you everything would be alright," he teased, and Luna blushed and looked away.
"Very well... Thou were right. Now be silent," she admonished as she went back to nuzzling his chest. Jeremy chuckled, and did as she asked.
He spent the rest of the day chatting with friends and surfing the Internet, being careful not to give any details about recent events. After assuring them that he really did feel much better, he signed off and ate a quick dinner. When he came back up, he noticed that Chrysalis was moving around in his room, her horn casting a green glow on the bedroom walls. Walking in curiously, he noticed that the space formerly taken up by a cabinet was now dedicated to a large cocoon, easily twice the size of the one in her own room. “Nice, I guess, as long as it doesn’t spill – I do vacuum occasionally,” Jeremy commented. Chrysalis waved a hoof.
“I’ll clean it up if it does – and you vacuum?” Jeremy nodded.
“I’ve done my own chores ever since I got back,” he informed her. Chrysalis sized him up with a look.
“…Do you also take long walks on the beach?” she asked sarcastically. Jeremy laughed.
“What, a guy can’t do housework? Sexist.” Chrysalis grumbled something, before rolling her eyes.
Getting back on his computer, Jeremy noticed an incoming call on the phone downstairs. Grumbling, he walked back down the stairs and picked it up, Luna looking at the phone as though it were a strange beast that had wandered into the kitchen. As soon as he held the phone to his ear, a voice began speaking, skipping the usual introductions. “Don’t give out any more information. We’re being watched,” the male voice said, and promptly hung up. Jeremy was thoroughly perplexed. Being watched? By who? Shrugging it off as possibly a wrong number, he went back to killing time on the computer, reading through a new comic his friend had sent him, claiming it was yet another fandom he needed to enter. It was pretty long – something like 7,000 pages? However, it was pretty interesting.
A few hours later, it was midnight, and Jeremy needed to go to bed. He reluctantly saved the page he was on, and went into his room, pulling on his pajamas and brushing his teeth. Chrysalis climbed into her cocoon, sighing as she quickly drifted off to sleep. Jeremy crawled into his own bed, and jerked away when he discovered something was already in it. To his surprise, Luna poked her head out from under the covers. “Couldst thou turn off the lights?” she sleepily asked, and after some hesitation Jeremy did so, plunging the room into pitch darkness. Feeling his way back into bed, Jeremy pulled up the blanket and draped an arm over Luna. He gave a content sigh at the boredom of the day – just what he needed, he thought to himself before slipping into dreaming oblivion.
As he dreamt, the still-lucid part of him noted that he wasn’t having any nightmares about fighting or killing. In fact, his dream was relatively peaceful, consisting of wandering down endless steel and stone corridors, picking up random objects that he dazedly thought were important before continuing on. Sometimes, he would turn a corner to see Luna watching him interestedly, but after she didn’t appear for a while, Jeremy promptly forgot about her existence – such was the nature of his dreaming mind.
It seemed like only an hour or so before he started to wake up, the sunlight streaming through his window causing him to turn over and face the wall. Wait, where was Luna? And why did he hear giggling? And why was he so cold ? Jeremy opened his eyes to find Luna and Chrysalis both sitting on the bed, the covers pulled back. Jeremy looked down at himself, and immediately regretted it: While they had left his pajamas on, they were very clearly having fun with his sleeping body. Chrysalis walked forward and sat on his chest, face inches from his. “You know, I really wasn’t expecting you to have those kinds of dreams,” she mentioned, and Luna giggled in the background. Jeremy got over his shock and sat up quickly, startling Chrysalis. He looked back at her, an embarrassed smile on his face.
“Likewise, I wasn’t expecting this kind of wake-up call,” he responded. Chrysalis mockingly traced a hoof around his collarbone before walking off of him. He swung out of bed, and went into the bathroom to change, pulling on a skintight pair of jeans and a warm winter jacket to compensate for his being so cold. Walking downstairs, he ate a quick breakfast before going back up to his computer.
“Is this what you do all day? Check the computer, do random experiments in the lab?” Chrysalis asked, sounding bored.
"Hey, it’s still midwinter break for three more days,” Jeremy argued. “Next Monday, I’m going to be doing classes and homework, and all that other stuff that bores me senseless.” Chrysalis frowned.
“Why do you put up with it, then?” Jeremy shrugged.
“I don’t know… a college degree is nice.” Chrysalis gave him a confused look, and it occurred to Jeremy that she might not know what college was.
They spent the day relaxing, as was the usual, and Luna popped in and out due to her royal duties. Celestia even walked through once or twice, commenting interestedly on the various aspects of his house. Finally, Jeremy decided to head to Equestria out of sheer boredom, walking through the royal garden to his office.
To his surprise, Lyra and Bon Bon were once again at his door. As soon as she saw him, Lyra whipped around and greeted him with a huge grin. “Hello, mister Jeremy!” she happily exclaimed. Jeremy gave a small smile in return.
“Hey. How’s it going?” Lyra bounced up and down, the picture of joy.
“Great! I was so sad when I thought you had died, but now that you’re alive I can finally ask you!” Jeremy raised an eyebrow.
“…Ask me what?” he inquired. Lyra beamed at him – all her enthusiasm was starting to infect Jeremy at this point, who jovially smiled.
“I was wondering if I could go to the human world, of course!” And there went Jeremy’s mood.
“…You. As a pony. In the human world,” he clarified, and Lyra nodded. “Absolutely not,” Jeremy answered sternly. Lyra immediately protested, and he silenced her before continuing. “You know what it’s like there – in fact, I seem to recall you literally wrote the book on the subject! It’s not safe for you.” Lyra pouted, and Bon Bon glared at him. “Yeah, I know, I’m a joykiller,” Jeremy admitted, hating himself for doing this. “But you would have a very serious risk of death – I noticed you skated over the government and corporate sectors in your story, and they are not to be ignored. They’ll dissect you, or imprison you just for being a living, functioning unicorn – let alone the author of their universe.” Lyra looked down, by now on the verge of tears.
Jeremy sighed, knowing he was taking a risk but unable to stand the sight of a crying pony. “Okay, how about this. We can find some way to disguise you as a human, and… you can tag along with me, I guess.” Lyra looked up, mood instantly changing back to jubilant, and Jeremy looked at her, somewhat alarmed.
“Yes! That works, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed. Jeremy decided to let Lyra's seeming bipolarity slide.
“By the way, a few others will probably be joining you – Queen Chrysalis among them. Still up for it?” he asked. To his surprise, Lyra furiously nodded. “Okay… well, stop by the castle sometime next week. I’ll let Celestia know what you’re up to in advance,” he told her, and Lyra bobbed her head up and down so quickly Jeremy feared it would fall off. Bon Bon gave him a glare that said “If you end up hurting my Lyra, I’ll kill you”, and Jeremy gave her a solemn nod before continuing into his office.
Chapter 34
1-4-14, 3:07 P.M.
It had been a few days of relaxation, and the human world had quickly lost its allure for the two alien mares. Jeremy felt much the same way, and not even various trips to Equestria served to dampen the boredom, as there was nothing to do there either. So, Jeremy spent most of his time being a couch potato, or playing games in Luna’s new pocket dimension – right now he was checking various websites, refreshing each page and hoping for an update.
Luna walked in, and pulled up a chair from another room. “Jeremy, we have been reading your email, and we need to talk,” she declared, and Chrysalis looked at her before taking a seat on the floor.
Jeremy grimaced. “Yeah…” Should he apologize? Explain, maybe? Luna cut him off.
“We wish that thou would keep us informed of such matters – they are of critical importance to us, after all. Still… it troubles us, this ‘finale’…” Jeremy shrugged, dismissing her concerns.
"If it’s in the show, we’re pretty much guaranteed to win, so I wouldn’t be too unhappy.” Luna frowned, but apparently accepted this argument.
Chrysalis looked between them. “What are you two talking about?” she asked, in utter confusion. Jeremy quickly explained the fourth wall to her, and she looked at him as though he were crazy. To this, Jeremy sighed, and pulled up an episode of My Little Pony for her to watch, specifically selecting her own debut. Chrysalis watched for a while, looking away in disgust at her own monologues and Cadance’s dialogue. Finally, when the episode was over, she turned to Jeremy. “So, this ‘Hasbro’… they’re in control of our universe?”
Jeremy shrugged. “It’s up for debate – honestly, I have no idea at this point which universe is influencing which. Maybe we’ll never know.”
He turned back to his computer, checking his email once more out of boredom. Finding nothing, he turned back to the two mares, who were doing their usual thing and relaxing. Chrysalis seemed to have a special preference for the heating vent over in his bedroom, and Jeremy honestly didn’t blame her – the house could get very cold during the winter. “Anyone else bored out of their skull?” Jeremy asked, and Luna nodded.
“As relaxing as this is, we are beginning to look forward to thy first day of school,” Luna grumbled.
“Oh yeah, that’s tomorrow,” Jeremy remembered. He got up and found his backpack, and checked through the mounds of loose papers for any homework. To his annoyance, he was interrupted by a phone call.
“I got it,” he called out before putting down the backpack and heading downstairs.
Picking it up, he was expecting pre-recorded political advertisements or other spam – none of his friends ever actually called him – but was surprised by a smooth, male voice on the other end, evidently human. “Hello, is this the residence of one Jeremy L.?” the unknown male asked.
“Yes, why?” Jeremy answered, once again expecting nothing good. As the man answered, Luna curiously walked downstairs.
“This is the Federal Bureau of Investigation – we have recently received confirmation of potential anomalous activity involving you, and are requesting a meeting at your earliest convenience.” Jeremy paled even whiter than he normally was, an impressive feat, and the phone shook slightly in his hand as he answered.
“Do you even have the authority to force me to go?” Jeremy alarmedly replied, wishing he were more eloquent in this scenario. The voice chuckled slightly.
“Not at all… but if you don’t, then we have to come over and investigate ourselves. Waste of both our time and yours, not to mention resources. So, are you going or not?” Jeremy thought for a moment, and drooped his head, feeling the embarrassment of a scolded child.
“Yeah, alright, fine. I’ll come. This Saturday sounds good, I guess. Where is this ‘meeting’ at?” he answered dejectedly, fearing the worst.
There were sounds of shuffling paper in the background, and the voice finally replied “We can meet you at our headquarters, which you can find with a simple Google search. Transportation and room and board will be provided should you ask for it. Any other questions?” Jeremy answered in the negative, and they exchanged the usual closing remarks before hanging up.
“Art thou okay?” Luna inquired. Chrysalis was still nowhere in sight. Jeremy gave a shaky sigh before sitting down.
“The government’s onto us,” he explained. Now Luna was alarmed as well.
“What did they want?” Jeremy angrily glared at the phone, as though it were the object of offense and not the nameless man who had utilized it.
“Right now? They want me to meet them, in their headquarters, on the other side of the country. Probably to interrogate me, or something.” Luna gave a thoughtful hum.
“Perhaps they merely wish to speak with thee – despite thine attitude towards thy culture, we still refuse to believe every other human is as bad as thou say.” Jeremy wasn’t willing to argue the point, so he simply shrugged.
Chrysalis came downstairs, laughing to herself about something and quickly stopping at the serious look on the other two’s faces. She paused to sniff the air curiously. “Fear, dismay and just a hint of anger – alright, what happened?” she asked, all traces of earlier mirth gone. Jeremy explained, and to his surprise, Chrysalis reacted more violently than he would have expected. She staggered her way into a chair, face in her hooves.
“…Are you… okay?” Jeremy falteringly asked after a short moment.
“Oh, yes, I’m absolutely fine ,” Chrysalis practically snarled through her hooves, her sarcasm dripping. “It’s just – this is the same government you’ve been talking about, which had no problem with committing horrific atrocities and probably wants to strip-mine Equestria now? Oh yes, absolutely peachy ,” she continued. Jeremy looked at her – as much as he agreed with the sentiment, he thought her reaction was a little dramatic.
“Relax, I’m sure we’ll be fine. The military couldn’t stop me before, remember?” he reminded her, trying to sound confident. Chrysalis glared at him.
“Even you don’t believe what you’re saying,” she retorted, and Jeremy glared right back at her, remembering that she could read minds and sense emotions.
“Alright, maybe I don’t, but I’m not going to lose hope just yet.” Luna watched the exchange in mild alarm, before clearing her throat. Both Jeremy and Chrysalis looked at her.
“Perhaps we should focus on what we can do about this, and not what this ‘FBI’ might do to us,” she suggested. Jeremy glumly agreed, and set about to brainstorming.
A solid hour later, they didn’t have any good ideas. “Can you teleport me out if anything happens?” Jeremy asked Luna, and she considered.
“Yes, we could, but that would not solve much. Thou would simply have to deal with them later, and they would be even less happy,” Luna replied, and Jeremy grimaced before settling back into his chair and gazing around the kitchen table, as though vaguely hoping to find an answer there. Chrysalis had been silently musing all this time, and Luna had had a few ideas, though with her lack of knowledge of modern human diplomacy, none were viable. Finally, Chrysalis spoke up.
“What if we pretend we’re the ones with the upper hoof here?” she asked. Jeremy looked at her in disbelief, and she pressed on. “Hear me out here. If you act like you hold all the cards, you might be able to intimidate them into leaving you alone. You could threaten them with any number of things – they don’t know how our magic works, right?” she asked, and Jeremy nodded, quickly warming up to this idea. “Then you could say, for example, that Celestia could rain fire down from your own sun if they don’t do as you say. Or that Luna could move your moon away from Earth permanently. Something like that,” she finished. A wicked smile came to Jeremy’s face.
“I like that idea. Incidentally, can you do any of that?” he asked Luna, who shook her head. Of the three, hers was the only face still frowning.
“We do not like manipulating them so… it seems wrong,” she pondered aloud. Chrysalis immediately objected to this, while Jeremy was now inclined to doubt the idea he had been so sure of earlier.
“We’re only going to use it if we have to,” he replied, interrupting Chrysalis’ tirade about unfair play. Chrysalis looked like she was going to object as well, until Jeremy shushed her with a look. “We’ll play by the book… right up until the second they stop. Then all bets are off,” he concluded. Luna still looked skeptical, but less so.
“We still do not think this is a good plan, but… It is a plan,” she conceded. And with that, they adjourned to bed, Jeremy setting his alarm for 6:30 A.M. tomorrow and wishing he only had to deal with either school or the government. Luna crawled into bed with him, and he smiled as he placed an arm around her – an act as comforting to him as he meant to her.
1-5-14, 6:51 A.M.
Jeremy walked into his school building, Luna and Chrysalis tagging along behind him. Luna had taken a while to settle on her human appearance, but Jeremy thought the overall result was very convincing. Chrysalis found no trouble with disguising herself, settling on a random female teen she had seen in the audience of some political speech video. Their official cover story was that Chrysalis – newly renamed Christian – and Luna, who had kept her name, were transfer students from England attending Jeremy’s classes as part of an exchange student program. After the quick conjuration of some official paperwork, they were set to go, and Jeremy warned that these wouldn’t be the only exchange students, thus covering for Lyra and possibly Celestia as well. Luna and Chrysalis fascinatedly followed Jeremy around as he went to his various classes, living up to his exchange host role by explaining to them everything he could think of about the school. The teachers were at first surprised by the sudden appearance of two exchange students, but quickly moved on back to their lesson plans, to Jeremy’s satisfaction.
After four monotonous periods of mind-numbingly boring subjects and note-taking, it was finally time for lunch, and Jeremy did his usual thing and got downstairs before almost everybody else, casually waiting in line. “Salad’s over there, pizza’s over there, and I am off to the grill line,” he stated as he waited for the lunch staff to raise the metal grille and allow the students to enter the serving lines. Once they had all gotten their meals, they headed off to Jeremy’s favorite table, where his human friends usually met up. Introductions were made, and Jeremy found it surprisingly hard to resist telling his friends that they were, in fact, speaking to Princess Luna and Queen Chrysalis – but he successfully resisted the urge. They asked how Mexico was, and he replied with enthusiasm, going into detail on the trip while avoiding any mention of Celestia. After eating quickly, he adjourned to the library, finding to his delight that it had gotten some new books over break. He checked as many out as he could, exchanging small talk with the librarian before heading over to a reading section and opening the topmost of his new books. “How long will those take you to read?” Chrysalis queried, sitting down next to him as Luna looked around the library.
“Hmm… maybe a day?” Jeremy half-jokingly replied. Chrysalis picked up a book from his stack, clumsily dropping it before finally managing to pick it up and open it.
“I never did like opposable thumbs – too unwieldy compared to magic,” Chrysalis muttered so the librarian wouldn’t overhear.
Two class periods later, it was time to go home. Jeremy strode out the door, heading for the bus area as Chrysalis and Luna struggled to keep up. “Do you have to walk so fast?” Chrysalis complained.
“Yes,” Jeremy smugly answered as he walked past the flood of other students, freely stepping off the sidewalk to circumnavigate when needed. Greeting the bus driver with a wave, he walked back to a spot he chose to sit in often, Luna and Chrysalis squeezing into the seat with him.
As soon as they got home, Jeremy took off his ski jacket and tossed his backpack to the side of his computer, waiting for it to boot up. Chrysalis changed back into her normal form, stretching vigorously before heading back through the portal. Luna also headed through, and Jeremy was left to his own devices.
Hours passed before Chrysalis returned, as nonchalant as ever. “So, what have you been up to? Nothing too interesting, I suppose,” Chrysalis commented. Jeremy smirked.
“Homework, research, and games – the usual cocktail of time-killers. You?” Chrysalis shrugged.
“Just making sure the hive was still going in my absence – which it was, of course. We’ve almost got our series of love machines finished, and have started distribution.” Jeremy smiled.
“All right, nice.” Chrysalis crawled up into his lap, and he gave her a brief head rub before resuming his homework.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Chrysalis inquired.
“Sure, what?” Jeremy answered.
“While I was poking around online, I found something called a ‘tranquilizer dart gun’ – why didn’t you use that instead of spraying tranquilizers everywhere?” she asked. Jeremy nervously shifted.
“Truth be told? I’m kind of… afraid of needles,” he mumbled. Chrysalis arched an eyebrow.
“So what? It’s not like you’re getting hit by one.” Jeremy nervously shifted some more, causing Chrysalis to have to steady herself with a hoof.
"Yeah, but… it’s just… whenever I even think about that kind of sensation, or see someone getting injected…” At this point, Chrysalis sat up from her earlier position.
“Okay, seriously, stop. I’m going to fall off at this rate.” Jeremy noticed what he was doing, and immediately stopped, still twitching nervously. “Wow, you really do have a phobia, don’t you,” Chrysalis noted.
“Yeah, well, doesn’t everyone?” Jeremy grumbled. Chrysalis waved a hoof.
“Not always, and not on your level most of the time. Say… how are you okay with fangs in your skin if you’re not okay with needles?” Jeremy shrugged, recalling the incident two mornings ago.
“I guess because it’s easier to see the fangs? I don’t know, they just seem too different for me to make the mental connection or something.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes and settled back down.
As they got ready to go to their respective beds, Lyra bounced through the portal, tackling Jeremy. While he didn’t fall over, he did stumble back, before returning her hug somewhat uncertainly. Chrysalis looked over in surprise.
“Who is that?” she asked in confusion.
“Chrysalis, this is Lyra. She’s really, really into humans, so she’ll also be hanging here,” Jeremy introduced. Lyra backed away at the mention of Chrysalis’ name, whereas Chrysalis just shrugged.
“Sounds good – just don’t touch my cocoon.” Lyra mutely nodded, and Jeremy looked at her quizzically. Guess some prejudices die hard , he thought.
Chapter 35
The week went on much like this. Lyra enthusiastically followed him around every day, and Luna or Chrysalis occasionally tagged along. Celestia only visited once, exchanging the usual small talk about his school as they wandered around. Luna offered to help with his homework, and Jeremy gladly accepted. As it turned out, her original thousand-year tenure on Equestria had rendered her intelligent in a wide variety of subjects, though she struggled with distinctly human concepts. Chrysalis, meanwhile, claimed she had no interest in learning mathematics, not seeing the use. Jeremy was sorely tempted to argue this point with her, but he decided to let it go for now. He got on the bus with Lyra, who had managed to rebound from her earlier fear of Luna and Chrysalis, though she still addressed them as respectfully as she could.
Suddenly, as the bus lurched into motion and lumbered around the school building, a question occurred to Jeremy – one that he was amazed he hadn’t asked before. “Hey, Lyra. What do you know about Hasbro?” he asked. Lyra thought for a while, and then shrugged.
“Nothing. Why, should I know something?” she asked, and Jeremy debated on whether to tell her. Ah, what the hell.
“They seem to have created your universe,” he answered. Lyra looked at him in shock – thankfully, no one was paying attention to their conversation, and the bus was loud enough to obscure it anyway.
“Yep. You created ours, and we created yours. Fun, right?” Jeremy finished. Lyra appeared to be attempting to puzzle this out, and Jeremy zoned out for a while.
Finally, the weekend rolled around, but Jeremy was not feeling the usual anticipation of a calm Saturday. He packed up his stuff for one or two nights, and Luna joined him, ready for the meeting with the FBI. Chrysalis elected to stay behind, taking the armor suit for her own use. “What if they try to steal your things while you’re away?” she pointed out when Jeremy expressed confusion at her not wanting to come. Agreeing to this point, and wishing he had thought of it earlier, he waved goodbye as he and Luna teleported to Washington D.C.
“Dost thou even know thy way around here?” Luna grumbled.
“No, that’s what Google Maps is for,” Jeremy replied, tapping buttons on his phone. Finally, they established a route, and began walking, Jeremy forced to go slower due to the sheer volume of pedestrian traffic.
Luna, meanwhile, was taking in the sights and sounds of America’s capital. “So many people,” she commented, and Jeremy nodded.
“This is a pretty popular place to watch old white people argue with each other.” Luna laughed, and they continued walking.
Some hours later, they arrived at the J. Edgar Hoover building, housing the FBI’s headquarters. It was an unassuming building but for the pillars across the entrance, featuring the exact same drab gray as the rest of the buildings in the area. Jeremy turned to Luna as they were about to enter. “Stay with me,” he asked her, and Luna solemnly nodded. They walked in, checked in with the front desk, and waited. Finally, they were called into a meeting room, surprisingly well-lit and welcoming, with a cadre of six men waiting for them. Despite the pleasant nature of the room, Jeremy nervously twitched as he shook hands with one of the men, who had stood up to greet them. They exchanged introductions, and the man shook hands with Luna.
“And who might you be?” he asked. Jeremy looked at Luna – should they tell the truth? His question was answered for him when Luna, in a bright blue flash of light, transformed back into her alicorn form and introduced herself, as formally as possible.
“We are the Royal Princess Luna of Equestria, Protector of the Night and Dreams, and Ruler of the Moon.” As scary as the situation was, Jeremy couldn’t resist cracking a smile – what would these guys think of a title like that? To his satisfaction, this caused a whole lot of nervous shifting among the FBI members. Point for us , Jeremy thought. The leader cleared his throat.
“Er, well. Nice to meet you, Princess Luna.”
“Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here,” another FBI person asked as Jeremy and Luna sat down next to each other in the two remaining chairs. Luna merely impassively stared, and Jeremy followed suit. “You were probably under the impression that we were going to try to dissect ponies, or exploit magic, or something. We get that kind of thing a lot,” remarked the second person, to Jeremy’s surprise. They had certainly caught his interest, at any rate.
“Yeah, I was thinking along those lines,” he mentioned after a short pause. The speaker chuckled a bit before continuing, and Jeremy suddenly recognized that chuckle – this was the man who had called him in the first place.
“Well, hate to disappoint you, but we’re not that evil, despite what everyone thinks,” another member chimed in.
“Very true. We want the United States to be the best that it can be, but we’re not about to pull another Trail of Tears,” the man who had shook their hands added. Jeremy was actually beginning to be somewhat impressed – maybe they were legitimately on Equestria’s side. Or , his cynical side said, maybe they’re buttering you up . He decided to reserve judgment for now.
“What we do want, however, is some sort of assurance that things don’t start ‘bleeding’ across universes – we don’t wake up one morning and find that this ‘Discord’ is destroying the White House, or that the 'mint pony' you mentioned - we're assuming it's Lyra Heartstrings? has changed something fundamental,” the fourth member spoke. Jeremy smirked.
“Not having any control over Discord, I can’t promise anything for certain – but he seems pretty occupied with Fluttershy, so I think we’re fine there. Apart from him, I don’t think anything else is going to find the portal – we have it well hidden and protected. I'll put in a word to Lyra - she seems to be doing fine so far,” Jeremy explained. A few of the committee were taking notes, while the remainder nodded in approval. “And what about your end? What’s to say some hapless Congress member finds out about this and decides he wants to spill everything?” Jeremy asked cynically. Several of the FBI members chuckled.
“Trust me, your secret’s safe with us. The President won’t even know,” one claimed. Jeremy shrugged.
“Works for me, I guess.”
They exited the building, Luna having since turned back into her human form and looking at him expectantly. “What? Oh. Okay, yes, you were completely right. Happy?” Jeremy asked, grinning a little now that it was over. Luna smiled.
“Very. Art thou ready to head home?” Jeremy shook his head.
“We need to find a more secluded place to teleport from – doing that in public would probably cause more than a few people to freak out.” Luna nodded.
“We are aware of this. Come along, then – we can see such a place.” Curious, Jeremy followed her as she made her way through the streets before stopping at an old warehouse. Using her magic discreetly, she unlocked the door and the two slipped inside, Luna locking the door behind her. Jeremy held out his hand, and Luna looked at him curiously.
“I thought you had to be touching each other to teleport?” Jeremy asked after an awkward pause. Luna laughed, and they were engulfed in light. When Jeremy had finished rubbing the spots out of his eyes, he found himself back in his bedroom, Chrysalis looking up from inside her cocoon interestedly.
“Back already? How did it go?” Chrysalis asked, concerned. Jeremy shrugged.
“Pretty well – all they wanted was to know whether stuff could get through the portal and mess with Earth. We told them no, and they let us leave.” Chrysalis raised an eyebrow, adjusting her position in the cocoon to face him better.
“Really? Sounds like you didn’t even have to threaten them,” she remarked. Jeremy blushed.
“Yeah, kind of forgot about that,” he mumbled. Chrysalis sighed.
“Well, at least you ended up not needing to act confident,” she replied. Jeremy gave an embarrassed laugh, before tossing his backpack full of useless clothes to the side.
“So, now that I’ve had enough nervous tension to last six lifetimes, what are we going to do?” he asked. Luna and Chrysalis grinned at him.
“We know of one thing to lighten the mood…” Luna commented, before tackling him onto the bed. Chrysalis watched on, grinning, as the two kissed, Jeremy staring in shock for a moment before leaning back and settling into it. Luna broke away after a moment, smiling. “We have been missing that,” she breathed. Jeremy smiled back, and Chrysalis walked over.
“Well? My turn,” she announced, and was promptly picked up by Jeremy and dumped on the bed, only for him to lean over and kiss her as well. As soon as he stopped, Chrysalis’ cheeks were once again chlorophyllic green. “Well, that was… new,” she commented.
“Better get used to it, wriggler,” Jeremy taunted. Just then, Lyra walked into the room, stopping when she saw them staring at each other and blushing.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I – I’ll just be out here, then,” Lyra exclaimed in embarrassment before quickly shutting the door. Jeremy was also embarrassed – he had completely forgotten they had a guest. Chrysalis was simply glaring in the direction of the door, while Luna seemed more bashful.
“Perhaps we should save this for later, then?” Luna suggested regretfully. Chrysalis shook her head.
“I don’t know about you, but all that time spent alone has made me hungry.” She quickly locked Jeremy back into her embrace, wisps of pink smoke being seemingly drawn out of his body as she inhaled with a deep sigh. After what seemed like quite a while, she stopped, looking much more tired but just as satisfied. Jeremy, meanwhile, felt slightly dizzy.
“Whoa, that was… odd,” he commented, slumping back onto the bed.
“Feeding usually goes something like that – the longer we go at it, the worse you feel. And because changelings are usually hungry enough to take all of their victim’s love, we gained a reputation for knocking hapless ponies unconscious – or worse,” Chrysalis explained. Luna looked on in concern.
"Jeremy, art thou okay?” she asked.
“Mostly, yeah,” Jeremy answered as he got up. “A cup of water and I’ll be good as new.”
1-11-14, 7:00 P.M.
After Jeremy had busied himself drinking directly from the sink (to Luna’s dismay), a shout was heard from downstairs. Ignoring his still-throbbing temples, Jeremy hurried downstairs, Luna and Chrysalis in tow, to find Lyra motioning them over to the television. “Look, it’s Twilight!” she commented happily. Jeremy sighed – here we go again , he thought, and prepared to explain the metaphysical abstraction that was the link between their two universes. Sensing his thoughts, Chrysalis spoke up.
“Don’t worry, I explained after she got a turn on the computer.” Surprised and more than a little pleased, Jeremy gave her a nod, and the three sat down to watch the latest episode. It featured Pinkie Pie apparently finding out she was Applejack’s cousin, and the two going on an adventure to find out whether it was true, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith in tow.
By the time the episode had ended, Jeremy was still laughing, Chrysalis had a hoof to her forehead, Lyra was still gazing raptly towards the television screen, and Luna merely watched calmly, being used to this. “This is what gets shown as an episode these days? How boring,” Chrysalis commented.
“Well, they do have to occupy the time between each finale and opening episode somehow … and besides, the point of the show is valuable life lessons. Such as ‘family's what you make of it?” Jeremy suggested. Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and Luna smirked at her before getting up to head back through the portal, promising to report to Celestia the recent events.
For the rest of the day, Jeremy took care of his homework, teaching Chrysalis the basics of algebra while he worked his way through precalculus. After getting over her initial boredom, Chrysalis actually started to pay attention, making sure to learn each concept. Noticing this, Jeremy was confused. “What’s up with you, by the way? You weren’t interested in this before,” he remarked. Chrysalis shrugged.
“One more step towards becoming ‘civilized’, I suppose. After all, with the love problem finally solved, we changelings need to work on getting the rest of our national assets up to speed. Maybe start an economy or something, I don’t know.” Jeremy pondered this for a moment.
“Well, you’re not going to learn much about economics from algebra… but yeah, it’s a start,” he agreed.
11 PM rolled around, and Chrysalis and Lyra retired to bed, Jeremy staying up to finish reading the comic he had begun earlier. Closing the tab, he turned off his computer, and waited for his eyes to adjust enough to the darkness so he could move safely. As he entered his room after brushing his teeth, Chrysalis’ voice spoke out of the pitch dark corner of the room. “Hey, want to join me in the cocoon?”
Jeremy briefly considered refusing, but realized it would be rude – he did need to be accommodating, after all. “Alright, give me a sec,” he said, taking his clothes off.
“Oh… I didn’t know you had that in mind," Chrysalis remarked in a sultry tone.
“What? No, it’s just… I’m not going to wear clothes in a liquid environment,” he answered. Chrysalis was silent for a moment.
“So… what do you do when you want to swim?” Chrysalis asked.
“Bathing suit,” Jeremy answered as he got into the cocoon. It was surprisingly warm and comfortable, and he immediately relaxed next to Chrysalis. “This really isn’t so bad,” he noted. “How do you make these?”
Chrysalis shifted, though in the low light Jeremy couldn’t tell whether this was from being nervous or simply to adjust her position. “…Do you really want to know?” she asked.
Jeremy nodded, then remembering that it was dark, replied with a short “Try me.” Chrysalis sighed.
“Alright, if you must. The liquid is a mix of nutrients produced by a certain type of changeling, in a manner similar to mammal lactation. The shell is the shed skin of many changelings, woven together. Happy?” she finished.
“Huh,” Jeremy replied, unsure of what else to say. "Sounds pretty cool - so it's like a nutrient bath..." Chrysalis looked at him, and opened her eyes, revealing their green glow.
“…You really aren’t disgusted by that?” she asked. Jeremy made a so-so motion with his hands, by now aware that Chrysalis could see him perfectly well even if he couldn't see her.
“No, not really. That was honestly kind of tame compared to what I was expecting.” Chrysalis made a confused noise, apparently attempting to process this. Finally, she sighed. “You know what, I give up trying to predict you.” With that, she closed her eyes, and Jeremy placed an arm around her before falling asleep himself, head resting on the lip of the cocoon.
Chapter 36
1-12-14, 11:14 A.M.
It was a calm Sunday, and Jeremy was incredibly bored. Right now, it was day on Earth, meaning Luna was probably busy with her royal duties, and Chrysalis had bade him goodbye temporarily as she once again had to check on her hive. Lyra was on the computer, leaving him in his home lab, waiting for a compound to finish filtering so he could wash, dry and set it on fire. Hearing the garage door open, he tugged off his goggles and glove, and walked out. He jerked in surprise when he found that it was in fact Princess Celestia standing in front of him.
“Hello… I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” she politely asked.
Jeremy quickly recovered. “No, I was just surprised to see you here,” he replied. “So, what’s up?”
Celestia smiled, peeking around him to examine his lab. For the first time in a long time, Jeremy wished he could keep the place clean – right now, the worktable was so crowded with glassware and chemical containers that he barely had room to place things. “Just that Luna requested that you come over to the castle when you get a chance. I elected to carry the message over, as I was heading to bed anyway.” Jeremy thanked her, and she headed back through the portal, stopping once to acknowledge Lyra bowing with a calm “Good evening, Lyra Heartstrings.” As she left, Lyra looked at Jeremy in surprise.
“P-Princess Celestia knows my name?” she squeaked. Jeremy smiled.
“I imagine she would, universe creator,” he jokingly replied.
Lyra gave another small squeal of delight, seemingly having a heart attack of joy. Jeremy attempted to hold in his laughter at the sight of her, succeeding only after a long and valiant effort. With that, he quickly put on some better clothes and headed through the portal himself.
Luna was waiting on her royal throne, and to Jeremy’s shock, Twilight, Spike and her friends were there as well, bleary-eyed from the lack of sleep. They were chatting about something, and Jeremy considered the possibilities. The fact that all six were present meant that something was clearly going down – but hadn’t someone mentioned the Mane Six wouldn’t visit Canterlot again until the finale? Maybe they were just meeting with Luna for some reason. As he hid behind a pillar, just out of sight, he overheard a snippet of conversation.
“…Shouldn’t he be here by now?” Rainbow Dash was saying.
“It is rather impolite to keep us waiting at such a late hour,” Rarity added.
“Actually, he is here at this very moment – just too shy to reveal himself. Come out, Jeremy,” she called, and Jeremy stiffened.
Nervously, he walked over to the pillar. Spike screamed and immediately hid behind Twilight, but Jeremy was too distracted to pay much attention. Luna. WHAT , he mentally queried, nervous and also irritated.
Relax – we ensured that nothing was happening. It is perfectly safe , she replied.
Jeremy gave a deep mental sigh, and turned to Twilight, holding out a hand. “Hello, my name’s Jeremy. I’m an alien.”
As usual, everyone in the room except for Luna stiffened when he spoke. Twilight nervously shook his hand with her hoof. “Hello, my name’s… Twilight Sparkle…” she falteringly responded.
“What in tarnation are y’all?” Applejack asked bluntly. To everyone’s surprise, Spike was the one who answered.
“That’s a human! They’re terrible creatures who hunt and kill dragons with their metal death weapons, and eat the young ones!” The other six looked at Jeremy, apparently dreading his reaction, and Luna looked as though she wanted to issue a sharp retort. They were evidently surprised when Jeremy burst into laughter. Finally, when he calmed down, he addressed Spike.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just… what you said is extremely ironic. We have the exact same legend on our planet, in reverse – that dragons would kill and eat hapless humans, and were considered unstoppable and terrifying forces of nature. Anyway, relax! I’m not going to attack you guys,” he finished, the earlier tension broken. Twilight shifted nervously, then held up a hoof as though she were in class. “…Yes?” Jeremy asked after a brief pause.
“Did you come through the mirror?” Twilight inquired curiously.
“What mirror – oh. No. No, I come from a different world – a different universe, in fact. No relation to the mirror’s inhabitants at all, aside from basic biology,” Jeremy explained. The others were looking at Twilight curiously, but she didn’t explain.
From there, the conversation quickly went downhill for Jeremy. “So, why have you been so reluctant to meet me?” Twilight asked, and Jeremy stiffened. He looked at Luna nervously, and she gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head. He turned back to Twilight, who was still staring at him.
“I... was unaware you wanted to meet me," Jeremy claimed. It was half-true - he had no idea of Twilight's reaction once she learned a human had been running around for quite some time.
After a moment, Twilight appeared to accept this. Jeremy took a moment in the resulting silence to gauge the reactions of the Mane Six to his existence. Twilight was confused, but not altogether frightened. Fluttershy was, as expected, both shy in his presence and curious as to his species. Applejack, having gotten over her initial shock, was regarding him with a friendly but suspicious look, and Rainbow Dash was looking bored. Pinkie was smiling at him, with absolutely no trace of suspicion or dislike – no surprises there, and Rarity appeared to be judging his clothes, only stopping when he looked at her. Spike was still behind Twilight, but was glaring at him slightly less suspiciously and significantly less scared than before.
Just when Jeremy thought the conversation really couldn’t get much more awkward, a familiar laugh graced his presence. Luna glared at the walls and ceiling. “Discord, show thyself!” she demanded. Her throne warped, and turned into Discord himself, who lazily uncoiled as Luna jumped off in fright.
“My, my. So touchy , Luna. I’d think you would be more thankful – after all I did for your relationship!” Luna looked at Jeremy in confusion, and he sighed.
“He let me know you had feelings for me,” Jeremy muttered. Fluttershy looked at Discord angrily.
“Discord, what did you do?” she demanded.
“Well, instead of me giving you the usual reassurances, why don’t we ask the primary source?” Discord replied, moving over to Jeremy and placing a giant, flashing neon arrow sign over his head. Jeremy chuckled a bit – Discord was as funny as ever.
“Nah, it’s fine,” he answered Fluttershy. “He wasn’t that bad, really.”
Fluttershy clearly wanted to say more, but didn’t, and Discord disappeared the floating sign, instead manufacturing a couch out of thin air. “So, I might as well break the ice once more – Luna and Jeremy are dating,” Discord announced with an air of delight. He then teleported over to Twilight, stage whispering into her ear so everyone could hear as she reared back in shock – though from the information or from Discord’s sudden proximity, Jeremy didn’t know. “He’s also dating Queen Chrysalis and Celestia on the side, but we all know who’s really ‘caught his eye’…”
Jeremy shifted a little as he remembered that particular lyric – was Discord even there for that? Wait, yes he was. Twilight stared at him. “You’re dating Princess Celestia? And Queen Chrysalis ?” she asked. Jeremy sighed again in irritation, and nodded.
“Believe me when I say that I didn’t see it coming either, on all three counts,” he answered. Discord was by now off in the background, delightedly munching on handfuls of popcorn. Jeremy glanced over to him, and immediately regretted it, trying to hold back laughter. Twilight was a little put off by this, but had heard of his exploits and defeat of Nightmare Moon, and so decided to accept it.
Finally, the conversation turned to a far easier topic, as Twilight asked Jeremy to explain just how he got here and started dating the three royals in the first place. Jeremy gave a brief summary, glossing over the sappier parts in favor of the more action-packed parts, as well as skipping the existence of the portal to Earth. “…And that brings us to now,” he finished. Discord took out a pair of reading glasses, shuffling a stack of papers titled “The Lost Human”.
“Hmm, looks like you missed some parts – let’s see here, Chapter 13, Chapter 13…” Discord mused, flipping quickly through the pages as the rest looked on in utter confusion. He turned to about halfway through the stack of papers, and blushed, looking around guiltily and hiding the papers back in whatever dimension they came out of. "Oh, goodness! Never mind, there are children in the room - looks like I'll save this for later, then." Jeremy was by now thoroughly confused, but decided not to press it.
With nothing much else to say, the Mane Six plus Spike left, Discord remaining behind to give Jeremy a wink and a nudge before poofing out of existence. Jeremy gazed at the space Discord had just occupied, unsure of whether to laugh, be angry, or just be confused. Eventually, he decided to let it go, and turned to Luna.
“So… is that how you imagined the conversation going?” he asked, trying not to sound irritated at how sudden it had been.
Luna shook her head. “We were not expecting Discord… but then again, nopony ever does,” she noted.
Jeremy chuckled as the unintentional cultural reference hit him – Discord in a Spanish Inquisition outfit would have been hilarious.
1-12-14, 3:27 P.M.
As Jeremy headed back through the portal, his stomach growled, and he remembered that he had accidentally managed to skip lunch. To his surprise, Chrysalis had returned, glaring at him the moment he entered the downstairs kitchen.
“Where were you? The house was empty, I thought something had happened!” she exclaimed. Jeremy held up both hands in a calming gesture.
“Whoa, it’s fine! Luna called me over for a surprise meeting with Sparkle and her friends,” he explained nervously. Chrysalis approached him threateningly.
“Don’t you dare scare me like that again!” she growled. Jeremy backed away, now thoroughly alarmed.
“Okay, I promise!” he replied, and after a moment, Chrysalis backed off.
“Look, just… I’m not losing you, got it? Not again,” she mumbled. Jeremy looked at her – where she had appeared threatening before, now she just looked small and scared. He bent down to her eye level, placing a palm on her front shoulder.
“Don’t worry. I’m not dying that easily. It took a nuclear explosion to kill me last time, remember?” he joked.
Chrysalis looked away. “Don’t even joke about that,” she muttered.
“What, not funny?” Jeremy asked apologetically.
“Not really, considering we all thought you were dead for three months,” she replied. Jeremy glared at her.
“I thought I would never see you guys again for four ,” he replied.
After a moment, Chrysalis dropped her head. “Sorry,” she whispered.
Jeremy sat down with her, placing an arm around her. “It’s fine. I get it, you’re worried. I am too, really…” he admitted.
Chrysalis laid down in his lap, and he stroked her hair, paying curious attention to the holes embedded within: Oddly enough, they kept their form even though he separated the hairs from the main body. Magic? To his embarrassment, his stomach growled again, and Chrysalis looked down, slightly alarmed. Jeremy laughed at her reaction, and attempted to get up. Chrysalis was having none of it, though, and refused to get off of him.
“Hey, get off, I’m hungry!” he protested.
“So am I!” Chrysalis retorted, and Jeremy blushed.
“Alright, fine. Just do it quickly, okay?” he asked.
Chrysalis kissed him on the lips, and Jeremy held her, feeling as though something was draining out of him. Sure enough, when Chrysalis pulled away, her mouth was slightly stained pink. Jeremy suddenly felt lightheaded, and shakingly got to his feet. He managed a few steps, before collapsing back onto the floor. Alarmed, Chrysalis caught his head before it hit the wall, and fluttered around him anxiously.
“Are you alright? I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to take so much!” she apologized hurriedly.
Jeremy dazedly looked up at her. “It’s fine, really. I’ll be fine, right?” he asked. Chrysalis slowly nodded. “Then do me a favor and grab some fruit – still hungry,” he reminded her.
Chrysalis flew over, grabbed a banana and an apple with her magic, and flew back, gently holding the apple just in front of his face. Jeremy reached a hand up and grasped the apple, feeling as though his limbs were made of lead. “Thanks,” he mentioned, lifting it out of her telekinetic grasp and taking a bite. Chrysalis stayed beside him until he finished, making sure he was feeling well. Jeremy didn’t want to show it, but he was a lot more tired than he let on – he knew this feeling: He’d probably pass out pretty soon. So, after he finished his food, he hesitantly stood up again, leaning against the wall for support. He stumbled his way over to the nearby couch in the living room, collapsing onto it in relief.
“I think I’m gonna stay here a while, that alright with you?” he sleepily asked Chrysalis.
“Of course,” she agreed, and Jeremy slipped off into a deep sleep.
Once again, he was dreaming, though he knew not of what. Luna made a few appearances, sometimes in two places at once. Finally, she walked up to him, touching him gently on the chest. Jeremy gasped like he had been drowning as control of his conscious mind returned to him.
“What art thou doing? It’s too early for thou to be asleep – did something happen?” Luna asked, concerned. Jeremy took a moment to recollect his memories.
“No, nothing like that,” he answered. “Chrysalis fed off of me, and I kind of passed out because I was already hungry.” Luna looked outraged.
“The nerve! We are beginning to think she is becoming greedy with thy love.” Jeremy shrugged.
“She was really sorry about it afterward, so don’t be too harsh on her.” Luna looked like she wanted to object, but finally nodded.
With that, she left him to his dreams, and he watched the scenes around him with a slight blush – was this really what his unconscious mind thought up? And more importantly... had Luna been watching ?
1-12-14, 6:47 P.M.
When Jeremy woke up, he was surprised to find that a blanket had been carefully tucked around him, and pillows had been tucked under his head. Looking around, he spied Chrysalis, who looked up the second he moved.
“How are you feeling?” she tentatively asked. To her alarm, Jeremy got up and stretched.
“Better…” He sat back down, and Chrysalis sidled up next to him. “Luna visited my dream,” he mentioned, and Chrysalis looked over at him in interest.
“Oh? And just what do you two get up to in your dreams?” she commented devilishly. Jeremy smiled.
“Nothing like what you’re thinking, at any rate. Mostly we just talk.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“You can do that perfectly well when you’re awake – honestly, you can be so boring sometimes!”
Jeremy chuckled. “I prefer being boring – much less chance of dying,” he quipped.
Chrysalis’ mouth curled up in a smile, and for a while they sat there on the couch, simply enjoying each other’s company.
Chapter 38
A few weeks had passed, and life had quickly settled back into a routine for Jeremy. He would go to school by day, trudging through the usual monotony of classes and homework. But when he got home, there was always something Luna or Chrysalis wanted to do with him – whether it was simply cleaning the house, playing a board game they had found, or something else. Celestia also popped by whenever she could, which was almost every night. If there was nothing to be done on Earth, Jeremy simply popped over to Equestria for a while, sometimes simply busying himself with wandering around to get a feel for the area. He also visited Chrysalis’ hive every once in a while, surprised to find that significant portions of the main cavern had been converted into the changeling equivalent of assembly lines. When he was feeling particularly bored, he would often enter Luna’s game simulator to try his hand more realistically at some of his favorites – and it wasn’t easy.
Sex was a more common occurrence between Jeremy and his various marefriends now that there was no imminent danger preventing them. Occasionally he could tell by a covert glance in his direction when attention was wanted, but most of the time he was simply dragged to his bedroom as soon as he got home. Chrysalis was especially unrelenting in this aspect, to the point where Luna complained that she “was draining more out of him than the rest of us” – Chrysalis eased up a bit after that, although she was still more frequently in the mood than the other two. Celestia was least likely to need him, if only because of her demanding job and time conflicts. She was also the most accommodating, never overstepping her bounds or trying to push him into something new. Luna, however, was significantly more energetic – now that Jeremy had accepted her being a hermaphrodite, she was eager to try new things, and he went along with them most of the time. All in all, it was a good life – it certainly made up for the boredom of his daily activities.
After one such occasion involving Luna, Jeremy stepped into the shower, only to bump into something invisible. Chrysalis revealed herself, and Jeremy stepped back out in alarm.
“Relax, it’s only me,” Chrysalis chuckled, turning on the shower water.
“Why are you in here?” Jeremy asked suspiciously.
“I like the hot water – hot showers are something I’ve never had before,” Chrysalis admitted.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Have you even bathed before?”
Chrysalis looked away. “…No,” she answered. “Whenever I needed to get clean, I would find the nearest lake and swim for a while.” Jeremy sighed as he stepped back into the shower with her, turning on the hot water and waiting for the tub to fill up. “Are you going to give me a bath?” Chrysalis asked suspiciously.
“Might as well, got nothing better to do and I need to shower,” Jeremy replied, flinching as the cold water hit him.
“You sure? It’s a little odd to see you so comfortable when you’re naked,” she answered, flying up to perch herself on the bathtub sides and escape the cold water. Jeremy laughed at her reaction.
“Guess I’m getting used to it,” he teased. Once the water was scalding hot, he closed off the drain, standing up to turn on the shower.
As they got out of the shower, Jeremy grabbed his towel, handing Chrysalis a spare from a neatly folded stack. Pulling on his pajamas, he stared for a moment.
“What?” Chrysalis asked, noticing him frozen in thought.
“Nothing, it’s just… These were the clothes I wore when I first came to Equestria, they were under the suit. Weird memories, huh?” Jeremy asked, trying to joke it off. Chrysalis smirked.
“My memories of the time were instructing my drones to stop you at all costs – I really wasn’t concerned about your attire.” Jeremy grimaced – his memory had quickly soured at the thought of their once violent hate for each other.
As he wound down for the day and prepared to go to bed, Luna approached him, a serious look on her face.
“We remembered thou said thou would research marriage in thy country – hast thou done so?” she asked. Jeremy nodded.
“The legal age is 17 with parental consent, 18 without, but I can petition to marry at 17 under ‘special circumstances’,” he recited. “I looked that up just after I got back.” Luna considered this for a moment.
“Well, there’s no sense petitioning for thee to marry early here – or really, marrying at all on Earth – people would wonder who thou were getting married to ,” Luna thought aloud.
Jeremy laughed. “I also think a sudden triple marriage wouldn’t go down well,” he added, and to his surprise, Chrysalis blushed furiously as she ran from the room. “…What’s her deal?” Jeremy asked. Luna shrugged, and they went to bed.
2-13-13, 3:07 P.M.
Jeremy arrived home after yet another tiring day, and opened the door to find himself pounced on by Chrysalis, who promptly showered him in kisses. “Ow – what? Get off – what are you – stop!” Jeremy spluttered, half-laughing as he struggled to get out from under her. Chrysalis swept him up into a bear hug, and Jeremy was reminded of just how strong she was for her size – he was seeing spots by the time she let go. “What was that all about?” Jeremy asked, staring at her as he got up and closed the door, hoping the neighbors hadn’t noticed. Chrysalis blushed.
“It’s just – I thought you were only marrying Luna!” she admitted, still with an uncharacteristic air of joy. Jeremy frowned.
“No? Definitely triple-marrying all three of you,” he replied.
Chrysalis smiled. “I’m sorry if I’m acting weird, it’s just – I never thought this day would come!” At this point, she was prancing around, and Jeremy found it adorable .
“Well… surprise!” Jeremy joked, her mood infectious. A thought occurred to Jeremy. “Did you think I’d never marry you?” he asked. Chrysalis stopped dancing around and looked at him, still smiling but now more serious.
“Well, no, I guess I had it in the back of my head that you probably would. It’s just – I never expected to get married at all, is the thing!”
Jeremy laughed. “To be honest, neither did I. Wasn’t really planning on dating anyone, and then this happened.”
Jeremy decided to visit Equestria for a while – he didn’t have much homework. He waved hello to Celestia, before heading over to his office. To his surprise, as soon as he did so he was accosted by a rogue group of changelings, who immediately hoisted him onto their shoulders, carrying him through the portal like a guest of honor. Stunned, Jeremy remained silent. Finally, they came to the main chamber, where changelings were lining every single ledge and crevasse, creating the impression of a massive auditorium. By now, Jeremy was truly confused. A single changeling, male by the looks of things, approached him, and to his shock, bowed.
“Our queen relayed to us that you plan on marrying her – we wish to express our gratitude.”
And to round out the whole spectacle, every single changeling began cheering in various voices, both sibylline hissing and what Jeremy thought might have been English. It was deafening, and for a moment he was too stunned to react. As the applause died down, more and more changelings looked at him expectantly, and Jeremy realized he should say something.
“Wow,” he finally said. “I… wasn’t expecting such enthusiasm… Well, I suppose you’re expecting some sort of speech, judging by the looks.” Most of the changelings were listening in, and you could hear a penny drop in the cavern. Jeremy frantically racked his brain for something to say – he hated speeches. Then it occurred to him, and he smiled. “All I can say is that I’m going to treat her like the queen she is,” he concluded.
There was a moment of silence, and Jeremy wondered if he had sounded stupid. Then, the entire cavern once again burst into applause, and he grinned, embarrassed. With that, the crowd of changeling drones around him parted to allow entrance back through the portal. As he left, Jeremy hoped Luna wouldn’t pull anything similar – as flattering as that was, he’d rather not be put on the spot like that again.
The office was just as he remembered it, and he smiled at a stack of papers piled up on his desk – his latest project had taken quite a lot of thinking, drawing and calculating. Sitting down, he tried to continue before realizing he was just as stuck as before – he’d have to wait until some of his online questions had been answered. So, he set off for the Canterlot shops.
To his surprise, there was quite the commotion on the main street. A section of the road was floating upside down in midair, and a cart of ice cream was attached to the underside, looking as though it too had been flipped upside down while still attached to the road. Less surprisingly, Discord was at the center of the scene, arguing with some darker pink pony with a yellow mane, and a cutie mark of three bright red cherries.
“That’s not funny!” she protested.
“Say it,” Discord countered, smiling as devilishly as usual. She mumbled something. “What was that? Couldn’t quite make it out,” he continued.
“Can I have my cart back, pretty please with a cherry on top !” the mare yelled. With a flash, the piece of road was teleported back onto the street, and the pink mare found herself on top of her cart, and jumped out, yelping at the freezing temperature. Discord, as per usual, was laughing as hard as he could. Jeremy strode up, staring at him.
“Really? Cherry on top ?” he asked.
“Why, what were you expecting, my little human?” Discord asked as he swiveled to face Jeremy, laying on his stomach in thin air and putting both his claws on his cheeks.
Jeremy grinned. “Something with a bit more… taste .”
Discord stared for a moment, then went right back to laughing. “I see you have an appreciation for the jokes of life! Very well, let’s hear your idea.” Jeremy smiled back, glad Discord was playing along.
“Well, I don’t know – ponies around here seem awfully cold to be eating ice cream.” He whispered into Discord’s ear, and Discord listened attentively before grinning and snapping his fingers.
“Oh, I like this – I don’t even think anypony will blame me for this one!” Discord laughed, before disappearing into thin air and reappearing just outside the crowd. Jeremy walked up to the mare, who smiled at him uncertainly.
“Why do you even have ice cream right now, anyway? It’s winter,” Jeremy wondered aloud.
The mare rolled her eyes. “Haven’t gotten that question before. I move these to my other home in the winter, because they would all melt in the summer – normally I’ve got a lot more than a cartful, but business hasn’t been going so well.” Jeremy grinned.
“Well, why don’t you try selling one?” He pulled out a bit from his pocket, and handed it to the surprised mare, who curiously hoofed over a cone. To her increasing suspicion, Jeremy handed it back.
“Try it, you might like it,” he remarked, noting the stares of the crowd. Looking at him with an air of utmost suspicion, she took a lick. Eyes widening, she took another.
“It’s… warm? Really warm. But it’s still vanilla ice cream,” she said wonderingly. Jeremy chuckled.
“Sounds like something that would sell well in a cold environment, hmm?” With that, he left the mare to the crowd, who quickly pressed in for a chance to try the newly enchanted substance. Before he walked out of sight, Jeremy looked back, and the mare flashed him a grateful grin. He gave Discord the thumbs up, and after a moment’s hesitation, Discord gave the thumbs up back – ponies were pressing around him now, asking what else he could do.
Jeremy headed back through the portal, still grinning – he had the vague feeling Discord knew exactly what Jeremy was going for, and appreciated the gesture. Huh, maybe Discord had changed. Then again, maybe the draconequus was just trolling as usual – you never could know. Exiting his bedroom, he found Chrysalis spread-eagle on the floor of the upstairs living room, reading a book.
“So I went to the hive an hour ago,” he informed her.
Chrysalis rolled over so that she could face him right side up, putting the book down. “And what did they do?” she asked, with the air of one who already knew the answer.
Jeremy sat down next to her. “Gave me a standing ovation. Was it really necessary?” he asked, embarrassed.
Chrysalis laughed. “No being has ever willingly wished to marry a changeling queen – such is an unprecedented event in history. Add that to the gossip that’s been circulating around you and I for ages now in the hive, and that’s what you get.”
Jeremy looked at her. “There’s still gossip going around? Thought that would’ve died down once we were confirmed as a couple,” he muttered. Chrysalis simply shrugged, and went back to reading her book.
Dinner was an eventful affair – Luna had elected to cook, and promptly needed help turning on the oven. After a few mishaps with the timer, they finally got it up and running, and she placed the pasta-based dish inside with her magic, gently closing the door.
“Must be nice, having magic,” Jeremy commented. “Never have to worry about burning yourself on the grates.” Luna laughed.
“Believe us when we say magic comes with its own hazards.” Jeremy laughed as well, remembering the many mishaps on the show.
After dinner, Jeremy checked around his websites for updates. Finding none, he was about to sign off when a curious email caught his eye. Chrysalis was in the room, reading a book.
“Weird… no subject,” Jeremy commented, and she looked up. Seeing that he was on his email, she hurriedly rushed over.
“Don’t open that!” she begged, physically attempting to move his hand away from the mouse with her magic.
“What the hell? Why not?!” Jeremy asked, irritated and very confused as he kept the computer mouse out of her magical reach.
“It’s… You don’t even want to know,” Chrysalis mumbled. Jeremy picked her up and dumped her in his lap, staring at her intently.
“Chrysalis, don’t keep secrets from me. What happens if I open this email?” he asked. Chrysalis looked around, as though hoping some form of escape would present itself; finding none, she sighed.
“It’s… it’s that guy,” she finally admitted. Jeremy was utterly confused for a moment.
“…What guy?” he inquired. Chrysalis hissed angrily.
“The guy who gave me all the weapons, remember? Tried to rape me? That idiot?” The memory quickly came back to Jeremy, and he nodded.
“Oh, yeah. Him . What does he want?” Jeremy asked unhappily – nothing this guy wanted could possibly be good. Chrysalis sighed once more.
“He’s somehow gotten your email address, and what’s worse, he knows I’m here – he’s been trying to contact me all day, alternately apologizing and making veiled threats.”
Jeremy looked at her, by now thoroughly alarmed. “Did you respond with anything?” he asked uncertainly.
Chrysalis shook her head. “I’m not going to humor his ridiculous attempts, but that’s not what I’m worried about! How does he know I’m here, with you ?”
Jeremy thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Tell you what – let’s bring it up to the others, see what they think,” he suggested, and Chrysalis nodded.
Chapter 39
Unfortunately, their combined schedules meant Jeremy had to wait until the next day’s dinner to bring it up again. As he laid out the plates, Luna picked up on his unusually somber mood.
“Alright, so I’m sure you’ve guessed we have a problem,” he began as he sat down. He briefly explained the events and history Chrysalis had told him of, and was surprised to see Luna glaring at her in outrage.
“We just spoke with the FBI to prevent this sort of occurrence – the least thou could do was mention it!” she accused Chrysalis, who glared right back.
“For you to do what? Track him down? Kill him? Because that’s the only way he’s going to be silent for certain.” Luna fell silent at this.
Jeremy glanced between the two. “We can’t modify his memory or something?” he asked after a pause. Luna shook her head.
“If his contention is such that he still remembers after all this time, it is likely he would suffer permanent brain damage by attempting to forget such a span of time in his life.”
To be fair, Jeremy would have almost preferred the brain damage for how much he already hated this figure – but he still had an inclination that there might be a more humane option.
“Well, it’s not like we can bring in the elements of Harmony - last I checked, those were still in the Tree, and besides, if Nightmare Moon survived her harmonization, who knows what it’ll do to this guy…” Jeremy pondered aloud.
“Would it be possible to convince him to submit peacefully?” Luna curiously asked. Jeremy thought for all of half a second before shaking his head.
“Even if we reached some kind of agreement, there’s nothing holding him back from lying or double-crossing us – and God forbid we agree to any of his terms.” Chrysalis solemnly nodded. Unable to resolve the conundrum, Jeremy frustratedly finished his food and packed up, departing for the computer.
To his dismay, he found yet another email from the nameless rapist – this one with the threat to kill himself if he didn’t get a response. Jeremy sighed – did he really want to indulge this? He thought of what to do – any response would provoke the guy, it seemed. What he needed was something that confused the sender so much that they wouldn’t know how to respond. What would Discord do? Jeremy pondered. An idea came to him, and he pressed the “Reply” button, and without typing a thing, clicked “Send”. The email system asked him if he had meant to do this, and he clicked “Yes”. Chrysalis walked up, and he quickly explained to her what he had done.
“…Interesting…” Chrysalis noted.
“He wanted a response, and he got one,” Jeremy remarked, a smile tugging at the corner of his face.
With that, they went to bed, Jeremy sleeping with Chrysalis this time. He had gotten used to the cocoon, and while it was still a very odd sensation compared to sleeping in a bed, he had long since adjusted and even grew to enjoy the feeling of weightlessness.
As Jeremy dreamt, his subconscious was plagued by images of the other guy – his appearance kept changing, but in the logic-defying nature of dreams, Jeremy always recognized him. His dreaming mind got the idea that if he could kill the other guy in the dream, they might never wake up, and he was about to do so when Luna came up behind him and tapped him on the waist. The dream instantly vanished, and Jeremy looked around, realizing what he was doing.
“…That was dumb,” he commented.
Luna sighed. “Didst thou really think that would work?” Jeremy shrugged.
“Kind of? It wasn’t like I was sober enough to realize how stupid that was,” he replied.
They spent some time in the dream world, discussing various things as the scenery shifted to memories around them. Finally, as the scene shifted to the Equestrian moon, Luna got up, motioning for him to follow. Curiously, Jeremy walked behind her as she approached what appeared to be a bright green hole in their reality – it gave off a soft light, and Luna examined it carefully with a practiced eye.
“We wondered what that feeling was – Chrysalis’ mind has sensed our dream.” Jeremy looked at it.
“She can do that?” he asked in consternation.
Luna lightly chuckled. “All magic users can do at least some dreamwalking – exceptionally powerful ones such as alicorns and fully-loved changeling queens can reach out with their minds and interconnect with other dreams directly, though only true dreamwalkers, such as ourselves and awakened dreamers, can enter these gateways.” She stepped through, instantly disappearing, and after some hesitation, Jeremy followed.
They emerged in Chrysalis’ hive, but it looked different: Chrysalis herself was in her room, and a cluster of changelings was around her – including, Jeremy noticed, a human that wasn’t him. He had brown eyes, and long, curly hair - Jeremy would have suspected he were a hippie except for the time period. Lying on her back, Chrysalis groaned in pain as the various changelings applied differently colored liquids from their fangs.
“Follow my advice and you won’t even have to do this anymore,” the human mentioned as casually as though Chrysalis wasn’t dying in front of him.
“Is that…?” Jeremy asked, pointing. Luna nodded.
“That would appear to be the one. Remember, this is only a dream – attempting to harm him would do nothing.”
Jeremy nodded, and continued to watch, feeling oddly out of place. Was this what Luna did all the time – simply watched dreams from the sidelines, intervening when necessary?
The memory shifted, and this time Chrysalis, who was looking significantly better but not quite healed, was traipsing through the forest along with the human, who was looking at her every few seconds nervously.
“So… Ethan, was it? You said the portal was closed,” Chrysalis mentioned.
“Yeah, it was right here, I’m sure of it,” the man grumbled as he surveyed a tree.
Personally, Jeremy didn’t know how he could tell, as it was exactly the same as every other tree in the forest – but then again, maybe he was missing something. Chrysalis grinned, and her horn lit up green. The familiar green portal opened, and another house was visible through it.
“I may not have much power, but I certainly have enough to open a simple gateway,” she boasted. The male gazed openmouthed. “Now, remember our part of the deal, human,” Chrysalis intoned forcefully, and the male raised his hands in mock surrender.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I can get you everything you need,” he answered. “If I’m not back in a week, come find me.”
Chrysalis watched him step through the portal, smirking to herself.
Once more, the scene changed, as instantly as though it were simply a movie. This time, the portal had been relocated to inside the hive, and Chrysalis was smugly conversing with the other human – Ethan, Jeremy reminded himself. He listened in.
“You mean the whole time, you wanted to mate with Princess Celestia? That’s what you wanted out of this? And now that you’ve realized that she would never submit to such dark intent – a fact readily obvious to everyone with brain cells, you want me to take her place?” Chrysalis inquired mockingly.
“It’s always been a dream of mine, and you owe me,” he threateningly stated.
Chrysalis looked at him in surprise, and began to laugh. Her laugh filled the chamber, until Jeremy realized it was being echoed by the thousands of changelings who were already surrounding the defenseless human.
“You are living on my whim, human ,” Chrysalis spat, advancing toward him as he backed up towards the wall the portal was next to. Jeremy watched with interest as the crowd of changelings came closer and closer towards where he and Luna were hiding, only to pass right through them. “You’re lucky I let you live long enough to give me your blueprints. If I weren’t so amused by your pathetic attempt at satisfying your equally pathetic desires, I would have ripped out your throat for daring to speak to me that way.” The changelings stirred, hissing slightly and narrowing their eyes at the human figure in the center.
Ethan shifted uncomfortably. “What… what are you going to do?” he asked, his voice having lost its earlier bravado.
Chrysalis pretended to consider, before giving a single hiss. The changelings surrounding Ethan opened a path from him to the portal, and he stared around in shock. “Well,” Chrysalis continued, the look on her face expressing her absolute control over him, “I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll allow you to live another day – I have more important things to do than dispose of your corpse. But if you don’t leave fast… I may just change my mind,” she threatened, wings spreading out and fangs bared in an impressive display. Without a moment’s hesitation, Ethan fled the hive, to the hissed laughter of the surrounding crowd of changelings.
“We think now would be a good time to interrupt,” Luna mentioned as she trotted up to Chrysalis and tapped her on the shoulder.
All the other changelings instantly disappeared, and Chrysalis looked around in shock. “I- what?” she asked, her voice having notably changed back to the more demure and polite voice she had adopted recently.
“We and Jeremy would like to speak with thee, and – Jeremy?” she called over in his direction.
“Yeah, what?” Jeremy asked, jogging over as he looked around at the hive.
“…Nothing,” Luna commented after a while. She turned back to Chrysalis. “It seems this human was intimidated easily – perhaps the same tactic would work twice?” Chrysalis huffed, taking a seat in the memory-projection of the main cavern.
“As much as I appreciate your interrupting this travesty, we could just as easily discuss this in the real world.”
Luna nodded wisely. “We could, but then both of thou would be still half-asleep and only partially lucid,” she reminded Chrysalis. “This way, we can discuss it at length – time is very subjective in dreams.” Jeremy nodded – this made sense.
After an indeterminate amount of time later, they were still at a standstill. Chrysalis had quickly rejected any notion of intimidation, as “she wasn’t about to go back to that”. Grudgingly, Luna had accepted this line of reasoning, and the three were now firmly planted on square 1.
“Ugh – at this point I’m tempted to just turn the guy over to the FBI – why can’t they deal with him? He’s a threat to national security, or something, right?” Jeremy frustratedly remarked. Luna looked at him in delight.
“Of course! They have many more resources than us – and they can detain him and figure out what to do!” Chrysalis looked at the two of them for a moment, then shrugged and nodded.
“Whatever floats your boat. The last time I checked on a map, he was somewhere in the state of Florida – although he could have moved,” she noted.
“Well, that solves that, I guess…” Jeremy remarked uncertainly – he had meant the idea of involving the FBI as a joke, but he could see it being taken seriously.
For a while, Chrysalis too wanted to discuss her day with him.
“Weren’t you just complaining about how my dreams are boring?” Jeremy taunted. She looked at him with a slight glare.
“We never talk anymore – you’re always at school,” she grumbled. Jeremy laughed, and with a nod of his head, gestured for her to continue her train of thought.
This was interrupted quickly, however, by Luna staring at him.
“…What?” Jeremy finally asked during a pause in the conversation.
“Thou art… fading,” she commented.
Jeremy looked down to find that every few seconds (as far as the concept of ‘seconds’ went here), his body would fade and turn translucent.
“Okay, what does that mean?” he asked.
“It would usually mean that thou art waking up, but what-?” Luna began, but was unable to finish her sentence before the world around Jeremy went black.
Jeremy sat up in shock as he woke up – an incredibly loud crack had just sounded right outside his house. In fact, if he didn’t know better, he’d say that was… gunfire! Resolving to save his conversation with Luna and Chrysalis for later, he hurriedly pulled on his suit, taking out the assault rifle.
As he headed out into the night, the clock on the oven told him it was approximately 2 A.M. He was amazed that neither Luna or Chrysalis had woken up – the gunshots repeated once every few minutes, as though whoever it was had been target practicing. Heading out the door, he kept to the shadows, hoping he wouldn’t be seen. He followed the sound of the gunshots until he reached a street the same as any others, devoid of all activity. Sighing with irritation, Jeremy was about to go back and wake up Luna for help when he found himself locked into an iron embrace, and a cloth pressed to his nose and mouth. Jeremy accidentally inhaled in shock, and the sweet smell changed to a very rotten one. Why had he forgotten his helmet? Why hadn’t he woken up Luna beforehand for assistance? Why… Before he could finish this latest thought, he passed into dreamless unconsciousness.
Waking up, Jeremy’s first thought was that he had a hell of a headache. His second thought was to vaguely wonder where he was, and why he was in the back of a car seat. Too out of it to process these thoughts, he slipped away from reality again.
The second time he woke up, the headache was even worse, and he was smelling something awful. A blurry object was taken away from his face, and he groaned as he tried to remember what had happened.
“Oh, God… where am I?” he mumbled.
“Safe,” a clipped voice answered. Why did Jeremy remember that voice? Everything was so confusing… Wait… the hive. Chrysalis… where was Chrysalis? She had been talking to… Jeremy’s eyes flew wide open as the truth hit him.
“Who are you?” he asked, hoping the answer wasn’t what he thought it was.
“Name’s Ethan,” the other guy grumbled, coming into view. “Not that it matters, because you and I aren’t going to know each other for much longer.” As casually as though he were flicking a light switch, he pulled out a pistol from a jacket pocket, and it occurred to Jeremy how very haggard Ethan looked: Specifically, as though he had been up for the entire night – perhaps more than one.
Aiming the gun at his face, Ethan spoke carefully, as though he had rehearsed this moment.
“Now. The longer you talk, the longer you live – and since that plagiarized suit of yours prevents me from hurting you anywhere but the head, first slip-up means death.” Jeremy mutely nodded.
“First question: How did you seduce Chrysalis?” Ethan asked.
“I… solved the problem of feeding her hive, and then we got to know each other as friends,” Jeremy hazily replied.
Ethan nodded as if this made sense to him. “Alright, next question: What do I have to do to steal Princess Celestia from you?” Jeremy looked up at him sharply, and Ethan waved the gun in his face.
“No lying or stalling, now. Remember, I can kill you just like that.” A thin bead of sweat made its way down Jeremy’s face.
“You… what? I don’t know how you would do that, I’m no miracle worker!” Jeremy protested.
“Shut up!” Ethan yelled, causing the pressure in Jeremy’s skull to spike to unbearable levels. Finally, his head couldn’t take it anymore, and he gratefully accepted oblivion.
Chapter 40
As Jeremy came to once more, he noticed Ethan was off in another room, and took advantage of the moment to gather his surroundings, hoping to either deduce where he was or a means of escape. The room was quite dark, so he could only make out that he was tied to a chair along one wall, and the room looked like it hadn’t been occupied for some time. Unfortunately, the only door out led right to where Ethan presumably was, and the sole window wasn’t helping much, providing only a view of a dark forest. Was it nighttime still, then? Or maybe this was the next day. How long had he been out? Thinking quickly, he attempted to send a mental message to Luna. Kidnapped – a little help? He thought, attempting to project his thoughts outward and only succeeding in worsening his headache. To his dismay, the response was so garbled that he couldn’t make it out – either they had finally discovered a limit to their mental connection, or he was so messed up after being drugged that their connection had frayed. So, that probably wasn’t working. What then? He was still wearing the suit – he surmised one or even all three of his marefriends could track it or him if necessary. Until then, he’d simply have to hold out.
Unfortunately, Ethan came back into the room and promptly noticed he was awake.
“Ah, good. Feeling better? Man, you have the chloroform tolerance of a baby, you went out like a light,” Ethan remarked, as casual as ever. Jeremy tried to laugh a little in an attempt to lighten the mood, but couldn’t bring himself to do much more than wheeze. “Abandoned house. Nice, huh? I scoped out the place before coming to collect you. Apparently, it’s been closed down due to asbestos, but I think we’ll be fine.” Jeremy looked up at him, coughing a little.
“So… isn’t this the part where you tell me just how the hell you tracked me down?” he asked, stalling.
“Heh. Yeah, this is that part, isn’t it? Where the good guy tells the bad guy just how he beat him. Alright, I’ll bite – you’re going to die either way. I’m sure you’re aware of my former escapade of Chrysalis, although she probably made me out to be a lot worse than I was,” Ethan began, pulling up a second chair.
“After that, I went back to my daily life – it was pretty depressing, being rejected from Equestria, I’ll tell you that much. After all, I befriended her when no one else would – don’t you think that entitles me to a little action?” Ethan claimed, gesturing at Jeremy. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“Just continue the story,” he replied, trying to hold back the insults he wanted to hurl at this scum.
Ethan laughed. “Fine, since you’re such a good listener. During my tour in Afghanistan, I became friends with a guy who later worked in the NSA – and I made a bet at the time that Chrysalis would want to contact more humans. So, I had my friend tap into the Hasbro email system – apparently, it wasn’t even that difficult. He sent me concept art, and I began to notice you. You looked awfully familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it. That was when I found this.” He pulled out a newspaper article, and with a sinking feeling, Jeremy saw his own picture staring back at him with the headline “Local Teen Rescues High School, Kills Over 100”. He had read that article – and concluded it was the usual sensationalist tripe. “Once I saw this, I knew who you were and where to find you. To my surprise, you never disappeared – how did you do that, by the way?”
Jeremy grimaced. “Time shenanigans,” he said by way of explanation.
Ethan chuckled. “Figures – did you get Twilight to do that?” Jeremy made a noncommittal motion with his head, the only part of him that could move.
“So, I knew where you were, and I knew you had been in Equestria at some point prior to now. Since then, I’ve been planning, and waiting,” Ethan finished. Jeremy sighed, the ropes around his chest uncomfortably restricting his breathing.
“Seriously, what is the NSA’s deal?” Jeremy complained. Ethan laughed, taking out his pistol again.
“Does it look like you get to ask questions?” he replied, polishing the small black gun with a cloth. Jeremy attempted to shrug, and failed miserably. “So, I asked you once and I’ll ask you again: What does Princess Celestia like? I know she’s with you, it wasn’t hard to figure that out when you drove back with a mysterious lady from your trip to Mexico,” Ethan slyly remarked.
Jeremy sighed. “She likes… singing. Heroic acts, apparently. And… you know, all the regular stuff a girl likes. Talking, complimenting her, helping her when she’s down. That sort of thing?” Jeremy tried. Ethan nodded, actually taking the time to write these down on a notepad he had also pulled out of a pocket.
“Right, well, it doesn’t seem like you’re pulling my leg, at any rate. Thanks, this has been helpful,” Ethan smoothly said as he put away the notepad.
“So… can I go, then?” Jeremy irritably asked. Ethan laughed.
“No, no, you misunderstand. I’m going to kill you anyway – can’t have you messing with my girls.” He pulled out the pistol, and aimed it at his head. “Last words?” Ethan asked, as polite as ever, and Jeremy once again strained to mentally connect with Luna, Celestia, Chrysalis, anybody . He’d even settle for Twilight Sparkle and the fourth-wall consequences that were inherent to her presence.
“You're a real douchebag if you think you're entitled to love - what are you, one of those ridiculous bronies with the fedoras and misogynistic attitude?" Jeremy taunted. If he was about to die, he was going to go out as snarkily as possible this time.
Ethan snarled at him. "It's a trilby , you assh-" he started, and began pulling his finger back on the trigger.
Before he could finish Jeremy off, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. “What the hell?” Ethan asked in consternation, but before he could finish, the door burst open, and four figures burst into the room. Luna was foremost, her eyes taken over by a burning blue aura and her face containing enough alicorn rage to remind Jeremy of Nightmare Moon. Chrysalis, off to the left, was baring her fangs at the sight of Ethan. To Jeremy’s surprise, Celestia was also present, eyes smoldering in anger – when had she shown up? His shock only increased when he saw the fourth figure was a human – a female, looking as though she had just gotten up.
To his credit, Ethan reacted remarkably quickly. He dove back into Jeremy’s room, pulling out his chair with difficulty and aiming the pistol straight at Jeremy’s head, the end of the barrel digging into his temple. “If I even see a horn lighting up, he dies,” Ethan warned, and Jeremy looked in shock at the blurry, dark rectangle off to his right. This was it – he was going to die, and they couldn’t save him. “How did you find me? I’ve been extra careful. Who even are you?” Ethan asked gruffly, directing his question at the lone human of the group.
“Mary Callahan, FBI,” she replied in an official voice. “And even if you kill him, we’ve got three super-powered horses and a trained agent on our side – there’s no way you’re getting out of this fight alive if you choose to initiate it.” To everyone’s surprise, Celestia and Luna both looked at her in shock and hurt, before returning their gaze to Ethan.
“So, Celestia, seeing as you don’t want this kid dead on the floor, what would you be willing to do to see him safe?” Ethan replied, sounding bored. Celestia gave him a furious glare.
“What… did you have in mind?” she asked carefully.
Ethan smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t we get to know each other? You might find I’m not so terrible. We might even bond…”
Even Mary looked disgusted at this point, though Jeremy noticed she was slowly, almost imperceptibly moving her hand – to where, he didn’t know. Ethan’s eyes were still on Celestia.
“Oh, don’t give me that look. You think I wanted to pull all of this? No. I would have been happy to do things the regular way, but your changeling friend stopped me, for her own selfish reasons.” Chrysalis gave him a smile.
“Guilty as charged,” she mocked.
Ethan’s smile turned into an ugly frown, and he backed away slowly, still pointing the gun at Jeremy’s head. He grabbed an assault rifle off a table, and Jeremy recognized it – it was his own. How dreadfully ironic , he thought to himself. Ethan returned to the main room, now pointing the assault rifle at Chrysalis in addition to the pistol aimed at Jeremy’s head. “What, you think you’re funny? A hero too, is that it? You’re a changeling . Just a mindless enemy who didn’t even rate high enough to get her ass kicked by the Elements of Harmony,” Ethan snarled as he attempted to hold the weight of the gun with one hand, causing his entire arm to slightly shake.
It was then that Mary sprang into action, reaching back and pulling out her own sidearm in the space of less than a second. With practiced aim, she squeezed off a single shot at Ethan, aiming not for his body but for his arm, and scoring a hit. Ethan howled in pain, and dropped the pistol to clutch his arm in pain. “I’ll get you for that, bitch!” he roared. “But first, I’ll fucking finally give that overgrown insect some payback!” With that, he let off a burst of bullets at Chrysalis, who was far too slow to dodge them.
“No!” Jeremy cried as she slumped to the floor, lifeless and bleeding heavily.
Ethan swung his gun around, finger still on the trigger, and Luna rapidly countered by shielding all of them from the bullets. Before anyone could react, her horn began to emit a sphere of blue light, seemingly charging.
“Luna, no!” Celestia screamed, but it was too late: The area around Ethan blew apart in a colossal explosion, sending Jeremy flying through the window and completely demolishing the side of the house. Passersby stared as Jeremy flew backwards, landing on his front. The chair was demolished, but the ropes still held him tight to the fragments. Somehow, he was alright – no shrapnel? He looked back, and saw why: Luna appeared to have created a bubble of pure force rather than an actual explosion – aside from the chunks of wall sticking out of a few odd places on his suit, he wasn’t even hurt, and there were no visible scorch marks anywhere. Unfortunately, the ropes were as strong as ever, so he lay on his side and tried to angle his head for a better view of the fight.
Luna was by now going full-on crazy, shooting bolts of magic left and right. Celestia too was joining in, and Ethan was putting up a remarkable show by dodging and firing shots back at them, causing them to stop their attempts to avoid or deflect the bullets. Mary was shooting whenever she could, but wasn’t hitting much due to the chaos all around her. “We could have been something!” Ethan screamed. “But no, you had to throw it all away for this – this kid! What’s so special about him?!” Celestia responded with yet another beam of magic – this time a roaring column of fire that lit the grass on fire wherever it touched. When Ethan dodged this, Luna added in her own magic, turning the fire bright blue and causing the stream to bend towards Ethan, who weaved and rolled before issuing a spray of bullets, catching Luna in the chest. She staggered back, and Jeremy was about to cry out in shock. However, with a grim determination, she shook it off, and reared back to her hooves.
That’s my girl , Jeremy thought gratefully.
Unfortunately, Ethan had taken advantage of their momentary distraction to bound forward, bringing the gun down on Celestia’s head with a crack loud enough to be heard a block away. Celestia dropped like a stone, and Ethan snarled at Luna before bringing the gun in a wild arc towards Mary, who dropped her firearm in shock. “I’ve beaten your sister – you want me to fight you too?! Bring it on!” Ethan yelled as he brought his firearm back towards Luna and issued a spray of bullets directly at her – she had no way to dodge, and they were all aimed at her head. Jeremy closed his eyes. A soft sibylline laugh caused him to open them in utter shock, and for a moment the entire fight stopped. Luna looked up – she was protected by a bright green and very familiar magical sphere.
Chrysalis surveyed the scene, and Ethan stared at her as though he was seeing a ghost. “You – I just shot you, how are you alive?!” he exclaimed, momentarily letting the rifle drop.
“Changelings can’t die from just bullets, fool – this one learned that the hard way," she snarled, jerking a hoof at Jeremy. "As for how I’m healed, let’s just say being given enough love to power a city helps!” With that, she sprang forward, and Ethan reacted by swinging the gun up and shooting at her once more.
Because if something didn’t work before, that’s exactly what you do – you keep on trying until it does , Jeremy thought sarcastically. Sure enough, Chrysalis had extended her magical protection to herself as well, and she and Luna sprang forward. Oddly, the whole scene reminded Jeremy of his respective battles with Chrysalis herself and Nightmare Moon, but in exact reverse.
The fight ended quickly after that: Luna had used her magic to finally steal the assault rifle away from Ethan, and Chrysalis issued burst after magical burst of green energy around him until he backed away, crying and screaming “Okay, I surrender! Don’t kill me, dammit!” Chrysalis approached him.
“You know, if you had been actually nice to anyone, we might have accepted you. As it stands… I can see into your mind, worm, and one phrase strikes me in particular.” Ethan looked at her, curiously and still in fear. “Nice guys finish last,” Chrysalis laughed, and swung the butt of the rifle around, knocking him on the head and causing Ethan to finally collapse, unconscious. Jeremy breathed out a sigh of relief, and Chrysalis looked over.
“Jeremy!” she cried, Luna following her as she trotted over.
Jeremy gave a weak smile as they approached. “How’d you even find me, anyway?” he asked.
Luna gave a nervous laugh. “We informed Celestia of your disappearance, and she was about to track thee using the same spell she used to find thee last time, but we received a call from Mary. As it turns out, she is assigned to thee and tracks thy movements. Once she had discerned thou leaving the house at such an odd time, she called us to learn whether we were aware of this fact, and found we were not, we quickly got together and found thee.” Jeremy smiled over at Mary, who looked at him uncertainly.
“So… anyone going to untie me?” he asked, and Chrysalis started guiltily as she used her magic to loosen and finally snap the ropes. Stretching, Jeremy got up. “As for me, I got captured in the stupidest way possible: Woke up to gunshots, went out to investigate, and got myself chloroformed. So much for the perfect hero, huh?” he joked. He then looked at Celestia, and his expression turned grim.
“She’ll be fine – a bit sore in the morning, but we alicorns are tougher than thou think,” Luna answered, following his gaze.
“What about you?” You’ve been shot – don’t you need medical attention?” Jeremy protested, examining her wounds. Luna lit her horn once more, and her wounds magically healed, the bullets popping out and gently thumping on the floor. She pitched forward, and Jeremy caught her. Chrysalis too looked a little dazed.
“Might’ve used up a bit more magic than I should’ve,” she muttered. Fortunately, she was still strong enough to stand, and assisted Jeremy and Mary in lugging the unconscious forms of Celestia and Luna to Mary’s car.
They drove to Jeremy’s house in silence. “So… tracking me, I see. How's that work?” Jeremy commented to Mary, who gave him a tired grin.
“Yeah, that’s my job – keeping track of an important political figure. I tracked you by your cellphone - hope you don’t mind the intrusion?” she asked.
“Just this once, I’ll let it slide.” Jeremy replied with a hint of gratitude.
“So… is this normal? Talking horses, magic battles...?” Mary asked.
Chrysalis sharply sat up. "Don't call us that!"
Mary looked at her through the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry, is that offensive?" she inquired.
Chrysalis nodded. "It's a highly derogatory and sexual term where we come from - just call us 'ponies'."
In response to her question, Jeremy deeply sighed. “My life is never normal,” he grumbled, and Chrysalis chuckled in the back seat, holding the sleeping alicorns from bumping around with a hoof.
It seemed the FBI were very good at convincing the passersby who had seen into alternative explanations, and Jeremy was grateful for that: The last thing he wanted was to be famous again. Mary had driven off with Ethan in custody shortly after dropping the four off at Jeremy’s house, claiming that the psychotic soldier “would never be seen again.” Jeremy normally objected to such anti-transparent methods of disposing of political prisoners, but a look from Chrysalis suggested she thought his punishment, whatever it might have been, was far too light. Celestia and Luna healed remarkably quickly, and Jeremy apologized endlessly for getting them into such trouble.
“Oh, stop!” Luna exclaimed after a recent bout. “It’s about time we saved thee anyway – thou were stealing all the good adventures.”
Celestia giggled, and Jeremy reluctantly let it go. Chrysalis, as soon as she was certain the two alicorns were alright, embarrassedly asked Jeremy for some love – she was running dangerously close to starving again. To her shock, Jeremy swept her up and kissed her on the lips, and she immediately returned the favor. Jeremy settled down into a chair as he felt more and more lightheaded, and finally broke away, claiming that he would pass out if he gave any more. Jeremy smiled at Celestia and Luna, who were watching with adoration.
“More where that came from,” he added, and they blushed. And Jeremy finally relaxed – he was once and for all, finally certain that he would never have to fight for this heaven again.
Chapter 41
8-14-14, 6:07 A.M.
It had been a peaceful six months – well, relatively speaking. Jeremy had finished high school, and gotten his diploma without further incident. After he had returned from his summer job at a camp, Jeremy set about packing for college. Chrysalis had been shocked to learn that he wouldn’t be returning to his house for four years, and pointed out that he could use portals to transit between his dorm and house. Jeremy acknowledged this, but reminded her that it would be hard enough to flit between Equestria and his dorm room undetected without throwing his regular room into the mix as well – as, somewhat unfortunately, he had a roommate. The house’s mortgage was paid off by the FBI, so when Jeremy returned he would still own the house. The portal gun had been disguised to look like a cheap, manufactured, plastic version of itself, so that he could bring it along without arousing suspicion. Finally, once he was all packed, he hugged Luna, Celestia and Chrysalis a temporary good-bye at the airport, each having disguised themselves as humans in order to see him off. He could have simply been teleported there, but the FBI had insisted otherwise, as it would look a bit off if he started lacking a paper trail. Partially, Jeremy thought they just wanted to make sure they knew where he was – within approximation.
His conversations with the Federal Bureau of Investigation had more often than not involved global events, and while they would occasionally slip in a request for his or Equestrian intervention, he always politely declined. Yes, he was aware of the large-scale atrocities happening all around the world. No, he wasn’t going to save the lives of the people involved. It wasn’t an easy decision to come to, and many nights Jeremy lay awake, endlessly cycling his reasoning and trying to rationalize his ideas. His main concern was overpopulation – if he spent his time preventing every major conflict, he was afraid the disparity gap between the Third and Fourth World and the First World countries would become far worse than it already was. Plus, a sudden savior wouldn’t help much in the long run – the more permanent solution would be international intervention. Thinking along these lines during a particularly intense debate over the merits of his presence in the Congo, he had responded “If you want to help so bad, do it yourself.” The issue of his international support had been dropped and never brought up again after that.
Jeremy relaxed during the long plane ride, taking a moment once they had reached cruising altitude to text a status update to Luna and the rest, who had commandeered his parents’ old cellphones with a little help from the FBI. What couldn’t those bureaucrats do? Jeremy wondered as he watched the window, looking away when the bright sunlight hit. They had quickly disposed of Ethan to no one knew where, and while he had been curious, he certainly wasn’t about to ask – it would have been a stressful waste of time to learn of Ethan’s ultimate fate. This reminded him of another conversation…
5-3-14, 12:15 P.M.
“Jeremy, you have an email from Hasbro,” Luna trilled as she prepared lunch, the flurry of knives and measuring cups clattering about the kitchen area as she used her magic to whip up a quick meal.
“What about?” Jeremy asked as he sat down at the kitchen table a few feet away, not daring to enter her vicinity with the flying cutlery.
“The finale. We informed Celestia just a few minutes ago – we had to wake her up, but she too thought it was worth her time,” Luna answered.
A few minutes later, Celestia came downstairs, looking a little sleepy but otherwise as regal as ever. “Morning, Celestia,” Jeremy said, amused. Celestia smirked at him and took a seat, and the discussion began.
“The finale will feature Lord Tirek escaping Tartarus,” Luna informed the group. Celestia clapped a hoof to her mouth, but Chrysalis and Jeremy merely looked at each other in confusion. Seeing their perplexed expressions, Luna explained further. “He is a Greater Demon who has the ability to steal magic from anypony he encounters. With each absorption, he grows stronger and harder to defeat – but we sealed him in Tartarus when he was so weakened he could barely stand…” Jeremy listened attentively, only stopping to take bites of his lunch.
“So, this ‘Tirek’… how strong was he when you fought him?” inquired Chrysalis.
“He was very nearly strong enough to defeat us – if we hadn’t been in possession of the Elements of Harmony, there was no way we could’ve stood against him,” Celestia answered.
Jeremy shrugged. “So… send Twilight and company after him? I think that’s what’s going to be happening anyways.” Celestia uncomfortably nodded.
“My worry is that he will get to us before they do – what happens if he absorbs our alicorn magic?” Jeremy thought.
“That is a problem…” he mused.
“Can’t you just hide your magic somewhere else?” Chrysalis wondered.
Luna was about to shake her head when a thought occurred to her. “Perhaps we cannot hide it… but we may be able to transfer it! Sister, do you remember that spell we learned, ages ago – the one for direct transfer of magical power?”
Celestia, taken by surprise, nodded. “But who would we entrust it to?” Celestia wondered. “Only alicorns could even withstand our abilities, and that leaves only Cadance and Twilight.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Well, Twilight is the Element of Magic… she’s ideally equipped to handle it,” Jeremy replied. “As for Cadance, she should probably meet up with you two to give up her powers as well – wouldn’t want Tirek going for the Crystal Kingdom, after all.” Luna nodded.
“We will inform her as soon as necessary,” Luna mentioned, and Jeremy remembered Cadance had no knowledge of the Fourth Wall – which was probably a good thing, all things considered. “Then it is settled. When the time comes, we will entrust our magic to Princess Twilight, and rely on her to defeat Tirek,” Luna concluded.
“Go team,” Jeremy added, smirking.
They had replied to the email with their plan, and Hasbro had approved it. Given that the finale episode was still a week away, and the Equestria games had been just a day before, they likely had quite a while to wait before Tirek actually made his move. One odd thing Jeremy had discovered was that the episode release dates weren’t always consistent with their Equestrian day counterparts – even though every episode was released on a Saturday, the events described therein could have happened anywhere between the previous Sunday to the Friday before.
The plan had gone without a hitch, as Twilight finally opened the box, acquired Rainbow Powers, and easily blew away Tirek after a protracted stalemate. Jeremy had watched the episode with mock horror. “I hope none of us ever get on Twilight’s bad side,” he mentioned at the moment Tirek had been defeated, with Chrysalis watching on. Both princesses were overseeing affairs after Tirek’s defeat, and were thus unavailable to watch the episode with them – not that it would tell them much.
When Luna finally returned, she collapsed onto the couch at 11 P.M. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Jeremy mentioned, still up and enjoying his Sunday.
“We were working until five minutes ago,” Luna groaned. Jeremy took a seat by her and began stroking her mane, causing Luna to slowly relax.
“Take a rest, princess. After all, we won’t have to worry about anything else until 2015, for Season 5,” Jeremy reminded her. Luna smiled as she went to sleep.
8-14-14, 5:07 P.M.
When Jeremy looked out the window again, it was to find that the empty farmland beneath them had been replaced by the foggy cities of Ohio – they were getting close to their destination. As if on cue, the flight captain messaged over the intercom that they would be landing in just half an hour. Jeremy reluctantly turned off his laptop, and focused on getting ready to exit the plane.
He stayed in a hotel on campus for a few days before moving into his dormitory. His roommate was pleasant enough, and seemed to be very socially outgoing, always having something to do. For the first week, he had Orientation, which was full to bursting of annoyingly peppy events, leaving him barely enough time to pop over to Equestria each night undetected. Although Luna was unhappy about his Equestrian day-only schedule, he promised he’d be able to see her more once classes started, as a few days in his schedule left a lot of free time to him. Meanwhile, Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis had all set up their own online chat accounts to talk to him while he was away, and they exchanged news. The FBI, of course, had known of his college move-in long in advance, and a member of campus security approached him. To his surprise, it was Mary – she had moved houses and jobs to continue watching over him. When asked, she shrugged. “I don’t really have a place to call ‘home’ – I just rent as close to my target as possible.” Accepting this, Jeremy nodded, and thereafter went back to ignoring her, as per protocol.
Case Western Reserve University was easily the oddest college campus Jeremy had encountered. It was huge, easily large enough to outclass the size of some towns he had been to (small towns, that is). Case was so large, in fact, that it had no less than two separate bus routes transporting students and teachers alike all around campus – but Jeremy preferred to walk. To his delight, it also had a prototyping facility where students could invent anything they wished – this would make the continuation of his various hobbies fairly easy, if he ever found the time. His classes were actually fairly easy – they reminded him of their high school counterparts, only with many more students per class. However, his summer spent away from all things calculus had left him especially weak in that area, as he learned when he got back the results of his first exam. A session with a tutor quickly cleared that up, however, and he was beginning to do better.
Life in Equestria was no less boring, to the princesses’ satisfaction. Twilight now had her own castle, and had spent most of her time since the events of the season 4 finale building her public relations with her new subjects. Luna had spent time with Cadance, who was delighted to learn that Jeremy would be marrying, and instantly made herself leader of preparations. Having heard of Chrysalis’ reformed nature, she was significantly less hostile in the changeling queen’s presence, though the two still regarded each other with suspicion – something Jeremy had an inkling would persist for quite some time. He had just turned eighteen only recently, and thus was now legally set to marry whomever he wanted – though in the human world, he had agreed to remain single. His birthday party had been a simple affair, with a home-baked cake and few presents – for what could they give each other? And, of course, Jeremy hadn’t expected the ending. Suffice it to say he wasn’t able to get out of his bed for some time after that, even after Chrysalis had used a spell to keep his energy up.
Jeremy and Twilight Sparkle occasionally exchanged letters, mainly focusing on the many differences between the human and pony worlds – something he was now well versed in due to earlier conversations. She had also recently been back through the mirror to Canterlot High, claiming it had something to do with a rock band. Jeremy had briefly considered visiting that world, but didn’t think anything good would come of it, and thus decided to leave it be.
Over the first few weeks at college, Jeremy had developed an odd, racking cough – he put this down to simply staying long-term in a new area, and resolved to wait it out. It slightly unnerved his marefriends to see him occasionally double over, but he assured them all was most likely well as he went about his business – nobody else seemed to be getting sick, at any rate. The truly strange thing was that the cough persisted, despite his efforts to maintain his health - he put this down to the fall weather and flu season, and continued to not care whatsoever.
His former job as head magical engineer had been expanded to the study of common human objects, to figure out how they worked. Towards this end, he had donated all of his former, broken or outdated electronic devices to the Equestrian labs, which had taken them apart with fascination. In addition, as ambassador to the changelings, he would occasionally handle business between the newly unified changeling hives and Equestria – while the hives weren’t technically a nation due to being mostly underneath other territories, they did act as a unified party under Chrysalis. Mostly, these requests and transactions were of the nature Chrysalis had intended – the radioactive ore underneath their caverns was selling for quite a high price, and changelings were mining the substances with impunity due to having no DNA to corrupt. This had led to Chrysalis becoming quite rich, and she had used her wealth to modernize some of the more outdated aspects of her hive, intending to set the example for the other queens. Speaking of which, the other queens all addressed him very respectfully, often referring to him as “the Savior” when they thought he wasn’t listening – Chrysalis assured him that they meant nothing serious by it.
Jeremy jumped into his bed – for some reason, the beds in the dorms came at two heights: Just high enough that you could only barely jump on, and approximately one foot from the ceiling. Slipping the covers over himself and turning off the lights, he had a brief moment of solitude before remembering he had promised to stop by the castle. Sighing, he flung himself out of bed and pulled his clothes back on, cautiously checking to see if his roommate was around. Satisfied that he wasn’t, Jeremy pulled out the portal gun and shot a portal onto the floor underneath his bed. Awkwardly squeezing himself through the floor-to-wall hole in space, he made sure the entrance on his end was covered by clothes before strolling off into the Equestrian fall morning.
Chapter 42
As he strolled through the Canterlot autumn, he waved hello to the various passersby he recognized. Some waved back, smiling, while others simply gave him a cool nod. There were no leaves in the streets, as the majority of Canterlot lacked large trees. Even if the place had trees, Jeremy had little doubt some magic would be used to keep the area clean – such was the nature of life here. Magic was used for every little thing, from streetlights to display stands. Jeremy enjoyed the fall breeze, a welcome reprieve from the harsh temperature swings of Ohio’s buildings, and headed up to the castle.
Celestia greeted him as soon as he arrived – it seemed it was a slow morning for business today. “How’s it going?” Jeremy called out by way of greeting. “As good as ever,” Celestia cheerfully replied. “So, any reason I’m over here, or are we just hanging out?” Jeremy asked. Celestia gave a small chuckle as she used her magic to reveal a small scroll, with a different royal insignia than Jeremy recognized. “Princess Cadance has requested to see you on the matter of our upcoming wedding – she has some ideas she would like to go over with you.” Jeremy took the scroll from her magical grasp, reading it over for a moment before nodding. “Did she specify a time?” he asked. Celestia shook her head. “No, although she did mention this weekend as a possibility,” she explained. Jeremy shrugged, handing the scroll back to Celestia, who made it vanish once more. “Sounds good, I’ll see her then.” With that, he hung out with Celestia for a few hours – the fall morning was a perfect time to have a light discussion.
Bidding her farewell, Jeremy strode off towards the Canterlot train station. Once he had arrived, he waved delightedly at a familiar train conductor, who stopped his business. “Haven’t seen your face in a while – from the looks of things, you been busy,” the stallion said, grinning. “Yeah, that’s one word for it,” Jeremy replied. A thought occurred to him, and he dug around in his pocket for a moment before handing some coins over to the conductor, who took them with some surprise. “Payback for earlier,” Jeremy said, grinning. “This is three times what the ticket cost, though… ya sure?” the stallion asked him curiously. Jeremy nodded. “Treat yourself,” he replied, and strode into the crowd, the train conductor looking back at him with a hint of amusement and gratitude.
Once he had arranged his own transportation to the Crystal Kingdom, Jeremy headed back to the portal. Thankfully, his roommate was still out – Jeremy reflected on how convenient it was that they had so active a lifestyle they would never notice if he left. He awkwardly jumped up through the portal, rolling sideways onto his dorm floor – he wished he had a better place for that. With that, he pulled on his pajamas once more and climbed into bed.
10-3-14, 7:30 A.M.
Jeremy reached up and turned off his alarm, sitting up for a moment before groaningly slumping back down again – it might have been Friday, but he wasn’t about to thank anyone for it. At least he had remembered to actually study for his chemistry exam this time – he didn’t think he could handle cramming in the one hour of non-class time he had this morning. Swinging over and jumping off his bed, he landed on the tile floor with a soft thump, before hurriedly getting dressed and heading out into the blustery October morning.
A few hours later, he had returned from lunch, and classes were over for the week. With that, he started to pack for his trip to the Crystal Kingdom – clothes, toiletries and all. His roommate came in, and stared. “Going to be gone all weekend, uh… for a convention,” Jeremy informed him, hating himself for stuttering on the lie. Thankfully, his roommate accepted this, apparently taking it as him being cagey about the type of convention, and didn’t say anything. Their schedules were so different that his roommate left a short while later, and Jeremy slung his newly repacked backpack over his shoulder and swung through the portal.
Trains were very odd in Equestria: As long as the train wasn’t full, and you had a ticket, you could actually board at any time, making prearranged tickets very convenient. Unfortunately, Canterlot was nothing if not a tourist trap, and thus Jeremy had to wait a couple hours before a space was open for him. He stepped onto the train, noting how old-fashioned and relatively small it looked – like something out of a 1920’s railroad photo, repainted bright pink and green. He took a seat, and decided to zone out for a bit, watching the countryside zoom by as they departed from Canterlot.
Unfortunately, he had to go through Ponyville to get to the next train, which was a nervous experience. He thanked the powers that be that the fifth season wasn’t on, and therefore nothing could be happening, although he did notice Rarity some distance away, haggling with a vendor at a shop just barely visible from the train station. He was tempted to wave, but decided to simply board his train instead. Thankfully, this one didn’t have as long of a wait, and Jeremy once again zoned out in his seat.
Finally, they pulled into the Crystal Kingdom train station, and Jeremy noted the drastic change in temperature – where it had once been so cold he was sure the train would freeze over on the outside, it was now back to being balmy and sunny. Stepping off, he made his way towards a hotel he had done some research on – it was cheap, and Equestrians seemed to like it. Making his reservations for the weekend, he went upstairs to examine his room.
The beds, as was to be expected, were far too small for a human to lie across – so he improvised, dragging them across the floor until they were end-to-end. Dumping his backpack on the floor next to them, he set off to explore his new surroundings.
Jeremy had been aware that most of the Crystal Kingdom was, in fact, made of crystal – but this fact was never more obvious than when the sun reflected on the multitude of facets and temporarily blinded him, over and over again. Now more than ever, Jeremy wished he had remembered to pack sunglasses, and after a few hours of searching and wandering was rewarded with a relatively expensive pair. Part of him wished he wasn’t spending so much on temporary accessories, but it wasn’t like he used the money for much else – once he had taken what he estimated would amount to about his college debt’s worth in gold coinage, he still had the vast majority of his wealth left, and had begun donating it to various charities in an effort to stay afloat of all the money. “Don’t you want to be rich?” Chrysalis had asked him once, and he had violently shook his head. “If I’m not using the money, or even planning to use the money, it’s a waste of space,” he had answered. Chrysalis shrugged, and went back to what she had been doing – reading a newspaper Jeremy had picked up from campus.
Now that he didn’t have to worry about being blind, exploring became much more interesting. Most of the shops sold various crystal artifacts and trinkets, and he was surprised to find such things as crystalline cloth and food among them – he assumed the crystal food was a variation of sugar, or some such, and decided to avoid it for the time being.
A few hours later, he couldn’t decide what to buy, so he headed back to the hotel and turned in for the night. To his satisfaction, the bed was as comfortable as ever, and he gave a relaxed sigh before drifting off to sleep.
To his surprise, he woke up almost instantaneously. Luna stood there regally, eyes glowing in the moonlight. “This is a dream, do not worry about thy sleep cycle,” she informed him. “Oh, okay. So, what’s going on back in Canterlot?” Jeremy asked, sitting up. “Absolutely nothing – it has been quite the relief, actually,” Luna responded, casually snuggling up next to him. “Nice. I got blinded for a few hours, and got to explore around,” Jeremy mentioned, throwing an arm around her as he gazed out at the full moon over the Crystal Kingdom. It might have been a dream, but it was incredibly realistic. “So, why am I ‘awakened’? I don’t even remember dreaming…” Jeremy mentioned after a while. “We awakened thee while thou were still in dreamless sleep – somewhat more difficult, but it does save time,” Luna explained. Jeremy nodded appreciatively. “Anyhow, there was a purpose to this meeting beyond small talk – we wanted thee to know there is a surprise waiting for thee when thou return home,” Luna mentioned excitedly. Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Really? Can’t wait – it must be special if you took the time to warn me.” Luna smiled. “We think thou will enjoy it, though it may not be what thou art expecting…” With that, she chuckled, and vanished in a blue flash. Almost immediately, Jeremy’s dream world faded around him, his consciousness quickly sinking back into the dark ocean of sleep.
10-4-14, 8:00 A.M.
The morning was rather uneventful – he came back from breakfast, a fascinating foray into the culinary world of crystal food, to find a letter waiting for him. It was from Princess Cadance, asking him to visit the palace whenever he was ready. Grinning, he turned around and headed out the door again, giving a small wave to the attendant as he passed the front desk.
Entering the palace, he greeted Shining Armor and Princess Cadance almost immediately. Shining Armor held out a hoof, and Jeremy smiled before bumping it. He merely nodded to Cadance, who smiled back. “So, apparently you had some ideas for the wedding?” he prompted, and Cadance politely nodded, leading him to a separate room. Here, clothes and wedding props could be seen strewn around, as well as notes. “Wow. Has this kept you up for a few nights?” Jeremy asked, looking around. Cadance laughed. “Not involuntarily…” she answered. With that, they got down to planning the wedding, as Shining looked on.
A few hours later, they had lunch in a private room. As soon as he finished, Shining cleared his throat. “Jeremy, could we talk in private?” he asked, and Jeremy raised an eyebrow before nodding. Cadance looked on curiously, but didn’t interfere.
As Shining led them out onto a balcony, his expression turned serious. “Is it really true, what I’ve been hearing about the changelings? They’ve turned… good ?” Jeremy nodded. “Chrysalis is actually really cool when she’s not trying to take over nations, and the hive can actually be pretty cute when they want to – or maybe it’s just my alien upbringing,” he joked. Shining gave a short smile. “And yeah, I know this is kind of awkward, after she…” Jeremy began, but Shining held up a hoof. “If you really love her… and she, you... then I’m willing to put it behind us,” he stated. Jeremy appraised him with a newfound respect. “Of course,” he replied. With that, they walked back into the planning room. Cadance could tell a serious discussion had just been had, but she evidently decided not to press it, and they went right back to planning. They talked well into the night, and Jeremy was surprised just how much went into planning a wedding, especially a triple one such as this. “Is this even precedented in Equestria?” he asked once. Cadance laughed. “Actually, yes, there have been double and even triple weddings before. They’re kind of uncommon, because normally sustaining multiple partners can be quite tiring, but it has been known to happen.” Jeremy shrugged, and went back to the layout.
After they had a rudimentary plan down, Cadance took him on a tour while Shining stayed behind to oversee the royal court. As she took him around the castle, pointing out the various names of places and the history behind them, Jeremy responded by telling her a bit of his own history, both of Earth and himself. The two realized they shared a love of mineralogy, though Jeremy hadn’t followed up on this hobby in quite some time. After that, they quickly bonded over discussing gemstones of the two planets, and Cadance promised she’d send over some mining books when she got the chance. Finally, they took another short break to visit the crystal mines. Jeremy was extremely surprised when, upon arrival, Cadance grabbed a pickaxe and sauntered in, most of the other workers barely acknowledging such a move other than a cheerful greeting. After looking at her in confusion for a moment, Jeremy smiled and shrugged, grabbing a pickaxe himself and following her in.
“This is mining for you? The crystals are everywhere… it’s not even a proper hunt,” Jeremy complained. Cadance laughed as she swung her pickaxe, freeing a larger crystal from the bedrock and levitating it into a wheelbarrow. “It would be if we were looking for diamonds… but today we’re just scavenging all the beryl from the surface,” she explained. Picking up a vivid pinkish-red crystal, Jeremy examined it. “This is beryl? Red beryl is very rare, back on my planet. Aquamarine’s more common, and emerald is in the middle.” Shrugging, Cadance examined the stone he had, levitating it over to her. “Hmm… no, this is just garnet,” she determined, tossing the fist-sized lump behind her callously. Jeremy watched it go, tempted to go retrieve it when he reminded himself that there were far more valuable treasures waiting in these caves. Retrieving his pickaxe, he went back to searching the veins of the cavern. Cadance looked over at him, seemingly holding herself back from saying something. Finally, just as Jeremy was about to ask, she spoke. “So… Is Chrysalis… you know… good to you?” she asked uncomfortably. Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he suspiciously responded. “She doesn’t… treat you as beneath her, or manipulate you into giving her love?” Jeremy thought about it, then laughed. “No, she does. Or, she used to. Really, it’s fine, I’m used to it.” Cadance looked at him as though he had sprouted an extra limb. “You’re… okay, I think we’re having a cultural disconnect here, I’m just going to stop there,” she muttered, going back to her mining. Jeremy shrugged. “At this point it’s more of a joke than anything… plus she’s learning how not to do that.”
Shining was still holding court by the time they got back, and greeted them with a casual wave. With that, Cadance moved on to the finer details of the wedding plans, and Jeremy was quickly stumped by her questions, finding that he didn’t have a preference one way or the other for most of her questions. “Sorry, I’m awful at planning events,” he apologized after a while of this. “Oh, that’s fine – I didn’t expect you to be good at it. No offense,” Cadance answered, dismissing his concerns with a wave of her hoof. “None taken,” Jeremy replied, smirking. From that, the topic turned to his thoughts on each of his marefriends – Jeremy was a little confused, but Cadance insisted it was important. Reluctantly, he agreed, and told her everything he thought of them. As he spoke at length, Cadance would occasionally write notes on a sheet of parchment she had found. She would nod at the oddest places in his stories, and smile at others. For the first time, Jeremy didn’t leave out the more intimate parts of the story, and both he and Cadance blushed as he clumsily waded through those particular sections. By the time he was done, she had covered the front and a good portion of the back of the parchment with notes, and rolled it up before levitating it over to a work table. “Thanks, that was really helpful,” Cadance noted. “Sure… I guess…” Jeremy responded, still uncertain how exactly that had helped. “I’ll go over the final plan with the other three, but I think you’ll like it,” she had enthusiastically finished, and Jeremy took that as an excuse to dismiss himself.
“Well, this was all kinds of fun. We should do this again sometime,” Jeremy concluded, hefting his backpack as he prepared to depart. “Come back anytime,” Shining called, waving a hoof. “Don’t forget what we discussed!” Cadance called, waving as well as Jeremy stepped onto the train. “I won’t!” he called back, smiling – their enthusiasm was infectious. As the train pulled out, he went back to wondering what Luna’s “surprise” was.
Chapter 43
By the time the train rolled into Canterlot station, Jeremy was half-asleep. He dazedly looked up at the doors opening, and therefore was very surprised to find that a bright flash of light and a millisecond later, his view of the trainstation had been replaced by thousands of feet of open sky. “WHAT THE-“ Jeremy began as he flailed around to keep himself from falling, but was stopped by the feeling of landing on something.
Confused, he looked down to find Luna looking up at him with concern. “What – how didst thou – “ she began in consternation, but she too was cut short by Chrysalis’ laughter.
“The look on your face!” Chrysalis howled with mirth, doing somersaults in glee as her changeling wings buzzed through the air.
Celestia too was present, looking over with her utmost lack of amusement. Jeremy looked over at Chrysalis. “Okay, not cool – pranking people and making them think they’re about to die aren’t the same thing!” he called over to her. Chrysalis stopped laughing, although she couldn’t suppress a chuckle.
“What, you thought I’d let you get killed so easily?” she teased. Jeremy crossed his arms.
“I’m sorry, was I aware it was you teleporting me? For all I know, this could’ve been an assassination attempt.” Chrysalis sobered up at that.
“…You’re no fun,” she muttered. Jeremy simply glared at her.
After watching this uncomfortably, Luna cleared her throat. “This… was to be our surprise – we were to take thee flying. If thou art uncomfortable, though, we will land at once.”
Jeremy considered it, looking down at the terrain thousands of feet below. He was sorely tempted to say yes, but a small part of him was exhilarated at the thought of actually flying – enough for him to surprise himself by replying “Go for it.” He trusted them to not kill him – and besides, this was a welcome relief from the boredom he’d been experiencing. He adjusted his position on Luna’s back, moving his legs in front of her wings so she could fly more effectively.
A few moments later, Luna and Celestia were flying loops in the open sky, Jeremy laughing with delight as he was carried along and buffeted by sheer acceleration. Evidently, the two alicorns knew how to pull off some tricks – but where had Chrysalis gotten to? Jeremy wondered. Looking back, he found his answer: She was trailing some hundreds of feet behind, not really making an effort to join in. Noticing him looking back, Luna stopped her aerial ballet and looked at Chrysalis in concern.
“She is… capricious,” Luna noted.
“Yep,” Jeremy simply responded.
“Art thou… angry at her for her japery?” Luna wondered.
Jeremy sighed. “Really, I should be. Part of me still is. But… if she seriously meant it in good fun, and didn’t understand how I’d feel about it… can I really blame her?” To his surprise, Celestia nodded, having hovered over to the two as well.
“You have every right – after all, it was not her place to put you in such a position, no matter the intent.” Jeremy frowned in thought.
“Hmm. I don’t know – I’ll think about it.”
After a while, Luna got bored of the loops and aerial tricks, and decided to try something new. “We would like to try a dive… art thou willing?” she asked. Freezing, but exhilarated, Jeremy nodded eagerly. With that, Luna swooped forward, accelerating to shocking speeds as she screamed through the sky. Shouting with laughter, Jeremy’s eyes watered as the ground sped toward them… only to bounce away as though it were the one flying and not them, as Luna pulled out of her dive.
“That was so cool !” Jeremy enthusiastically proclaimed once they had reached more acceptable speeds, and Luna laughed.
“We are glad you liked it. Our sister has been enjoying herself, as well…” She pointed upwards, and Jeremy could just barely make out Celestia, still delightedly swooping around as though she owned the sky – which, Jeremy supposed, she did.
They began to fly over the country, Luna and Celestia pointing out important landmarks. “Over there is Appleloosa – you can just make out the bison herds and camps from here,” Celestia called out. Chrysalis had rejoined earshot, and looked down, trying to look interested but convincing nobody.
“Huh… I’d have thought it would be smaller…” Jeremy commented, trying to remember the sole Equestrian map he had studied. Up here, he was high enough to see the curvature of the planet below them – but somehow the atmosphere had only barely thinned. Pegasi magic, he supposed.
10-5-14, 5:37 P.M.
A few hours later, it was time to lower the sun and raise the moon. Jeremy shakingly stepped off of Luna’s back, legs wobbling as he took a few steps forward and got reacquainted with walking. “Whoa… heh, I feel like I’ve been on a boat, or something,” Jeremy commented as he stretched out his legs. He walked with Luna and Celestia up to the palace balcony, Chrysalis following behind uncertainly as ponies stared.
Celestia lit her horn and the sun sped down from the sky like a downcast angel, the moon just as quickly rising to take its place as the sky turned black and stars began to twinkle. Jeremy gazed up at the night, shivering slightly. “Come on, let’s get thee someplace warm,” Luna mentioned, and Jeremy obediently followed her into Celestia’s room, where a mug of hot chocolate was waiting for him.
With that, the two alicorn sisters filed out to attend to their royal duties, leaving Jeremy and Chrysalis alone in Celestia’s bedchambers. After an awkward moment, the two looked away from each other. Chrysalis sighed, her hair shifting forward to cover her eyes. “Look, I just… I overstepped my bounds, I know. I thought since you had been okay with everything I’d pulled so far, I could afford being overconfident like this, and… I’m sorry,” she finished. Jeremy looked away.
“Even I have limits,” he replied, and Chrysalis visibly flinched. Seeing this, Jeremy immediately felt sorry. Placing a palm to his forehead, he massaged his temples before continuing. “I’ll be straight with you, I’m disappointed. But… I can see myself pulling the exact same prank, so… I’m not sure what to think. I mean, you’re right – we’d never let each other die so easily. So… I guess I’m just confused.” Chrysalis nodded, evidently feeling the same.
“Why don’t we just… forget it ever happened?” she proposed, looking up at him.
“Yeah, that sounds good… Hey, have you tried this?” he asked, motioning towards the hot chocolate in an attempt to change the subject.
“No, what is it?” she queried.
“It’s… you’re serious, you’ve never had hot chocolate before? Okay, this is an insult to culture – you need to try this right now,” he asserted, giving her the mug. Chrysalis took a cautious sip. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, then widened.
“Wow. Not bad,” she commented, and Jeremy smiled.
10-5-14, 8:42 P.M.
“Hell of a Sunday, huh?” Jeremy commented, as Chrysalis lay on his stomach. She chuckled.
“Was Cadance happy to hear she was planning a wedding for me?” Jeremy returned the chuckle, then considered it.
“She... Well, she was surprised to hear we ‘troll’ each other so often. Apart from that, she seemed to be okay with it. Shining was a lot more suspicious, though, but he agreed to back off when I said the feelings were mutual.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“He hasn’t learned a thing – I could be mind-controlling you, for all you know.” Jeremy grimaced.
“Don’t remind me – I don’t feel like questioning my reality today.” Chrysalis immediately sat up.
“What – no! No, I was kidding, I’m not – “ Jeremy lazily pulled her back down.
“Relax, I’m not that suspicious. Jeez, you seem on edge about that.” Chrysalis grumbled as she reluctantly resumed laying down on his chest.
“Everyone jokes about that on the Internet! ‘Better not meet Chrysalis if you go to Equestria, she’ll mind-control you and rape you! Or turn you into a changeling, or a breeding slave!” She shuddered at that last one. Jeremy frowned.
“It’s the Internet, every single idea no matter how dumb gets put on there,” he reminded her.
“You don’t see stuff like that about Celestia!” Chrysalis fumed.
“You don’t ?” Jeremy questioned. Chrysalis gave this some thought.
“…Okay, you do. But not as blatant, and not nearly as disgusting!” Jeremy waved a hand in dismissal.
“The only time we saw you in the show, you were mind-controlling someone and ‘stealing their love’. And since we don’t have magic, let alone love magic…” Jeremy trailed off. Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“Thanks for the cultural seminar. Next time, I’ll follow your advice and not search myself on certain websites.”
Jeremy laughed. “Good plan.”
Celestia trotted in, humming a merry tune. “So, how did you enjoy the flight session?” she asked Jeremy.
“That was amazing in every single way,” Jeremy replied as seriously as he could. Celestia smiled.
“It’s a great way to relieve stress when work gets too busy. Say… shouldn’t you be getting back to your dormitory?” Jeremy checked the time and yelped, pushing Chrysalis off of him in a mad dash for the door.
Bursting through the portal, he hit solid wood. What the hell? Someone had changed the location! He looked around – he was in his own closet. The back of the closet had been replaced by a smoother surface to allow the portal, but was otherwise unchanged – and a foam sheet in front of him covered it up nicely. Brushing away his clothes, he listened for his roommate before realizing the light was off – they were probably sleeping. Quietly opening the door, he made his way over to his bed, quickly changed, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
10-6-14, 12:20 P.M.
Jeremy packed up his backpack after yet another hour of watching the teacher do sums of forces and moments on the blackboard. To his surprise, Mary was waiting for him outside the lecture hall – they didn’t have much interaction, and students were staring at the unwarranted security intrusion. As Mary approached him, Jeremy decided to act unfamiliar. “…Yes…?” he asked, hopefully sounding as confused and apprehensive as he felt.
Mary never approached him unless it was for a strict set of reasons, and judging by the expression on her face, she meant all kinds of business. “We need to talk,” she said, carrying a hint of reproach in her voice, and students immediately started muttering to themselves.
“The hell, Mary?” Jeremy whispered in an undertone. “Way to attract attention – I’ll need a damn good alibi for that one.”
She walked with him, apparently heading back in the direction of his dormitories. “We’ll think of something along the way – right now, we’re headed to the security office to meet up with some people.”
Once they were there, she entered a password on the door lock, and it clicked open. Jeremy followed her inside to find several men and women in camo fatigues with bored expressions on their faces. Upon catching sight of them, Jeremy froze, an expression of shock on his face.
For a moment, all he could hear and see was himself from a year ago, angrily taking out a tiny, green cylinder about the size of his fist, pulling a pin as his inevitable death was discussed behind the closed classroom door in front of him, opening the door… and running… and a deafening shockwave that made him want to scream in pain, but he had to keep running...
Jeremy turned and sprinted out the door of the security office, heading for the relative comfort and safety of his dorm room while being chased by the dark daydreams that never quite left him alone. As he escaped the visibility of the security office, his place slowed to a jog, and finally a walk. A feeling of shame overtook him – he’d let his flashback get the best of him, and now he’d have to pay the price. Maybe he’d send an email apologizing and explaining. That led him onto a worrisome thought train that he should have been on earlier – why was the military even here on campus anyway? What had Mary wanted?
Entering his dorm room, he locked the door for a moment, and though it was still only early afternoon, crawled into bed. He wasn’t about to go to sleep again – as much as it might be good for him, he didn’t feel like interrupting Luna’s rest for yet another heart-to-heart chat. That left Chrysalis and Celestia to talk to, both of which would be laughably disappointed in him. So, he couldn’t talk to anybody, for fear of being ridiculed or further shamed. Fan-freaking-tastic . He had to get lunch, and go to his undergraduate research job – Mary knew this, and had probably already made excuses or some such. All the running had made him hungry, but he knew if he set foot outside his dorm Mary would eventually catch up with him. Oh, the joys of teenage PTSD , he thought bitterly. After a few minutes of waiting, he listened to the sounds outside his particular dorm room – it appeared nobody else was back from classes yet. Sighing, he was about to get up when a knock sounded on the door, and he froze once again. “Jeremy?” Mary asked from the other side, now sounding concerned.
“Mary, unless this is absolutely goddamn critical, I really don’t feel like talking right now,” Jeremy sullenly answered.
“Sorry to say, but it kind of is. Look, I’m alone – I told the others to wait in the office. What exactly… was that, back there? If you don’t mind me asking.” Jeremy shifted audibly on his bed, trying to suppress the memories that refused to go away.
“It’s… it’s complicated, okay? I just don’t trust the military. I can’t…” he trailed off, trying to say what he felt and failing miserably.
“Wait… is this about that time in your high school? Damn, should’ve remembered that – I am so sorry. Do you still want to see what’s up? It’s pretty urgent,” Mary pressed.
After a moment’s thought, Jeremy swung over the bed, slipping his shoes back on. “Okay, just… if I flip out again, give me some space. Those uniforms… they’re kind of messing with me,” Jeremy admitted.
Opening the door, Mary shot him a look. “Kid, you’re more messed up than the average veteran,” she muttered, shutting his door as he pulled out the key to lock it.
“You’re telling me?” Jeremy replied tiredly.
Chapter 44
They opened the door to the security office once again, and Jeremy tried desperately to control himself as those goddamn camoflauge uniforms came into view. Taking a few deep breaths, he sat down, glaring at the guy closest to him. Part of him was whispering in his head that these weren’t the same people, they hadn’t committed the same atrocities, but most of him was itching to throttle them, to make them pay. “Alright, so… why are you here?” Jeremy said, and winced as his accusing tone sounded loud and clear to his audience.
The first man cleared his throat and leaned forward. “We’re here because our intelligence has learned that Ethan F., the one who tried to kill you a few months ago, has escaped from incarceration while awaiting death row.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, distracted and worried enough by this news to forget his earlier trepidation. “So? Track him, find him, and kill him. You guys are good at that, right?”
The man shook his head. “It’s not that simple. Judging from the evidence, he didn’t escape solo – he was bailed out. We’re here to ask – is there any group that might want you dead enough to free him?” Jeremy thought long and hard.
“Can’t be the changelings, they have no reason to fight me again,” he thought aloud. “Nightmare Moon’s dead forever, I confirmed that much. So then… that’s it. Those two and Ethan are the only important enemies I’ve faced, to my recollection,” he finished. Mary interjected.
“Wait, what about the high school thing?” she asked, and Jeremy’s face fell as the fleeting escape from his memories evaporated. He put a hand to his forehead, feeling both stupid and angry.
“Yeah, that’s true. What, you think I didn’t get all of that military squad? Is that what this is about?” he asked, only somewhat sarcastic. Some of the camoflauged men glared at him, and Jeremy glared right back.
“No, I meant the other group. The terrorists, or whatever they were,” Mary explained hurriedly.
Jeremy grimaced, finally looking away and realizing he was gripping the arms of his chair rather painfully. “…Right…” he muttered. “You think there are more of them? I… killed quite a lot, I didn’t think they’d have kept people in reserve,” he wondered.
“A hundred and six,” another camoflauged military man said. Jeremy looked at him, confused. “You killed a hundred and six people, not counting… that squad,” the man explained, and Jeremy’s eyes widened. He never had discovered the true total, and now that it was out there, the number shocked him.
“A hundred and six people…” he whispered. Most of the group were staring at him, a combination of fear and admiration on their faces.
“Well, that’s it, then,” Mary continued uncertainly. “It’s got to be them – they’re the only group left that wants your head, and they might just have the resources to rescue Ethan.”
Jeremy massaged his temples. “Jegus. We have to deal with those assholes again? Great, just… Wonderful. The circle of stupidity is now complete! Maybe I can get Celestia to incinerate them with unholy murderflame,” he muttered, and he was surprised by how serious he was. Several people shifted uncomfortably at that, but one near the back stifled a snort. Jeremy looked over at him. “You think this is funny?” he accused, not even caring anymore about the suppressed rage in his voice. The man tried to hold back his grin, failing miserably.
“I mean, what you said, about Princess Celestia… I thought that was pretty funny,” he finished. Jeremy glared daggers at him.
“This is not. Fucking. FUNNY .” Several of the squad and Mary flinched, and the grin evaporated off of the guilty soldier’s face. “You think this is a game or something? These people ruined my life , and now they’re back for more – you’re damn right I’m going to make sure they’re dead this time!” Mary put a calming hand on his shoulder.
“Jeremy, calm down. I know this is upsetting, and you feel like you’ve had enough. But we’re going to get through this, okay? Together. No matter what it takes.” Jeremy stared at her hand for a moment, then put his head in his own hands, rage giving way to gentle sobs.
“I just… when’s it going to end ? I’ve fought so many times … I just can’t take it anymore…” he cried into Mary’s shoulder, who looked startled at the sudden burst of emotion but confusedly patted him on the back all the same.
“Hey, sorry…” the guy who had laughed earlier embarrassedly mumbled. Jeremy didn’t reply.
“Listen, we’re here to help. We’re going to make sure none of those bastards even get close to you,” the man closest to him consoled.
Jeremy gave a hollow laugh, finally sitting up. “Right. Because that’s worked before, huh?”
There was nothing much else to say, so Jeremy got up, waved a quick goodbye to Mary, and filed out, not even looking at the soldiers as he exited. Heading back to his dorm room, he considered how hungry he now was. Sighing, he packed up his laptop and headed out again, planning to first head to the dining hall while it was still open and then head to work.
Work had been uneventful – after a few hours of running the machines, he exited the polymer science labs and headed back to the dining hall for dinner. Entering his dorm room, he was surprised to find Chrysalis waiting, an expectant look on her face.
“I got one hell of a negative emotional cocktail earlier off you – wanna talk about it?” she queried.
Jeremy sighed. “Sure, why not, might as well pass the shock and horror on to someone else,” he sarcastically replied. Raising an eyebrow, Chrysalis jumped up onto his bed, and Jeremy sat with her, glad his roommate was out as usual.
“And now they’re back too,” Jeremy finished, laying down next to Chrysalis. He had left out the part about his running away – it wasn’t useful information. She looked up at the ceiling, surprisingly calm.
“Why does this always happen to us?” she questioned. Jeremy looked at her, and she continued. “It’s never over, is it? Someone always has to try and pull us apart, or try to kill one of us. Why can’t they just leave us alone?” Chrysalis demanded. Jeremy chuckled darkly.
“I was asking the same thing… Every time we get out of yet another scrape, I think to myself ‘This is it, I can finally settle down to a peaceful life. Ha! Of course not. There’s always another hurdle, another maniac with a weapon in their hands and death in their eyes… And stopping them peacefully doesn’t help. No, if I want to solve my problems, the best thing for everyone is to pick up a gun and start taking potshots.”
Chrysalis looked down. “I should have killed Ethan when I had the chance,” she muttered.
Jeremy shook his head. “Nah, because then that would’ve been evil or whatever. You did the right thing, don’t worry about that.”
They lay there for a moment in silence. “…Hungry?” Jeremy asked after a while. Chrysalis stuck her tongue out.
“With the emotional turbulence you’ve been going through? Asking you to feed me wouldn’t help matters much. If it’s alright with you, I’ll just grab some from the machine before I head off to the cocoon for the night.” Jeremy shrugged.
“Sure, I guess…” he dejectedly muttered. He couldn’t even help his marefriend now, he was so messed up inside.
Chrysalis looked regretful, and kissed him on the lips. “Hey, you’re more than just another love machine to me, remember?” Jeremy looked away, and finally nodded. They stayed like that for a while, each locked in the other’s embrace.
10-7-14, 6:07 P.M.
Jeremy had explained yesterday that Mary had wanted him for a military recruitment opportunity, thus explaining any potential sightings of the squad of soldiers after their meeting – this was an alibi of Mary’s design, so Jeremy assumed she was backing this up as well. Having just gotten out of the shower, he found an email addressed to himself on his laptop – confusing, as while he did send emails to himself as reminders on occasion, he couldn’t remember this one. Opening it, he saw why – one of the others must have written it as a note to him. It was very simply “Come see us.” Frowning, Jeremy threw back on his clothes and headed through the portal, taking care to replace the foam covering.
Celestia and Luna were both awake, and it was officially nighttime in Equestria. No ponies were in court currently, and Jeremy remembered something about today being a national holiday for some reason.
“Greetings, Jeremy,” Celestia opened, sounding oddly concerned.
“Hey. You wanted to see me?” Jeremy asked, feeling weirded out. Normally, contact was rare over the week – he was almost always too busy making sure nobody discovered the portal, or doing school things.
“…Yes. Chrysalis has been in contact, and she’s concerned your past might finally be catching up with you – and I promise I meant no pun on that, though it was doubly true.” Jeremy chuckled humorlessly.
“Yeah, that’s one way of putting it. So… what are we gonna do?” he asked.
Luna sighed. “Our initial suggestion was simply to magically track these deviants down and destroy every last one of them,” she remarked angrily. Jeremy privately agreed, and Celestia looked at him.
“You would seriously see every last one of them dead?” she asked, and Jeremy remembered that both could read his mind.
“At this point, I don’t see any other long-term solution,” he began, choosing his words carefully. “We’ve tried handing people who want us dead over to the authorities. It hasn’t worked. So, that leaves punishing them yourselves, which could get awkward real fast if one of them escaped or something, or outright killing them. We can’t establish peace, for whatever reasons – probably something to do with my initial killing spree. Any other ideas?” he asked.
Celestia shook her head. “I still think there is some less murderous solution – didn’t you say you didn’t want to murder anymore the last time this happens?” she pointedly asked. Jeremy looked away.
“Well, it just keeps happening. And since everyone else seems fine with murder of various parties, why not? Might as well join in on the fun,” he sarcastically replied.
Celestia frowned, unamused. “I know you don’t mean that,” she stated. “I will contact your FBI and this new military group, over your email – I have since learned some spells that make even digital communication difficult to track. This is not the first time I have had to defuse conflict, after all.” Jeremy considered this. She had two thousand years of political experience – maybe they had a chance.
“Well, good luck,” he said, half meaning it.
“Also, Queen Chrysalis could tell you left something out of your description of the meeting with Mary,” Celestia prompted. Jeremy groaned, this empathic business on his marefriends’ part was starting to get to him.
“Okay, fine. You want to know what happened? First time I saw that squad of soldiers, I panicked . I ran home , locked myself in my dorm, and Mary had to come over and talk me into going back. Happy?” he spat, furious. Luna looked taken aback.
“…Why didst thou run? Surely thou were aware they meant not to harm thee,” she wondered.
“I… well… For a second when I saw those vests, I had a flashback to the School Incident,” Jeremy admitted, using his own name for that horrific week. “It was my first time dealing with the military, and I overheard them making negotiations to kill me in exchange for the lives of everyone else. So, I chucked a grenade or two into the classroom and ran. And… it came back to me, and the next thing I knew, I was running,” he finished, sounding small. Celestia and Luna shared a concerned look. “Great, now you think I’m crazy. You’re probably right,” Jeremy muttered.
“Nay, that was not our intention,” Luna hurriedly soothed. “We were simply discussing whether thou required counseling, and how we would go about such a thing.” She looked at him, seemingly nervous at his reaction. Jeremy just sighed.
“Counseling would be wonderful - but who’s going to pay for it?” Luna chuckled.
“For thee, we would gladly pay ourselves.” Jeremy gave a small smile, and it was settled.
He headed over to the hive next – he was long overdue for a visit. He opened the door to his office, noting an unfinished weapon on the table next to him – maybe he’d get to that on the weekend. Walking through the portal to the hive, he looked around, finding that no one appeared to be home. Jeremy decided to wander through the caves for a while, being sure to look out for any green glow that wasn’t organic in nature. Feeling oddly alone and out of place, he tried to piece together why every single changeling in the hive would have left.
Suddenly, he was tackled from behind, and excited chittering sounded around him as changelings swarmed around and over him, appearing from invisibility all around. For a moment, Jeremy was very confused. Then, the changelings began to poke and tickle him all over as their chitinous bodies forced him to the floor, and he began rolling around while desperately attempting not to laugh, a grin forced onto his face by the constant tickling.
“Ah – hey, get off – Hahaha, it’s not -!” he spluttered, finally giving in to giggling. Queen Chrysalis approached the spectacle, a smirk on her face.
“So that’s how you cheer a human up? You tickle them? And here I thought it’d be harder,” she muttered.
“I’m not – haha, stop! – happy, I just – Pfft!” Jeremy was unable to continue.
After a while, he forced himself into a sitting position, and looked around at the changelings who had been messing with him with a sardonic grin. “Where’d you even learn that, anyway?” he asked. Chrysalis laughed.
“We knew about tickling – we used to use it to get love out of the smaller ponies. Hmm, maybe after this we should try it on the larger ones…” she mused.
Jeremy chuckled. “You might actually get away with it, too – that would be a sight to see,” he replied. Chrysalis crossed over to him, sitting down next to him and looking at him expectantly.
“So, did it work? Are you feeling better?” she asked.
Jeremy’s smile quickly turned into a grimace. “For now, yeah. It’s not gonna last, though, I know that much.” Chrysalis frowned, and pulled him into a tight hug.
“Then I’ll make it last as long as I can,” she whispered, and after a moment, Jeremy returned the hug, glad he had someone to confide to.
“You know what scares me most?” he asked after a moment.
“You mean, apart from a terrorist group who’s out for specifically your blood?” Chrysalis asked mockingly.
“Heh. No. What scares me most is facing this alone,” he admitted. “I used to think I could do everything myself, but this? I don’t think I can handle this without you.”
Chrysalis looked at him, a small blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Jeremy, I’m… touched…” she mumbled.
"Now who’s the romantic sap?” Jeremy teased. Chrysalis laughed.
“I’m never going to get used to all this free love… but you’re a fool if you think I’m not going to take advantage of it!” she proclaimed, tackling him and laughing.
Chapter 45
10-24-14, 4:02 P.M.
Fall break had arrived, a short 2-day respite from classes. Jeremy played some new games for once, and had just saved his progress when a guard burst through the portal. Jeremy immediately leaned forward in his chair, partially out of shock and partially to avoid the flustered pony, then twisted around.
“What is it?” he asked in confusion.
“Sir, the princesses have requested your urgent presence – according to them, it’s absolutely critical,” the guard said, while saluting.
Forgetting that he was still in pajamas, Jeremy stood up. “Lead the way,” he answered, and the guard sprang back through the portal, Jeremy quickly closing the foam cover as he too exited his universe.
“Mind filling me in along the way?” Jeremy asked as they ran towards the castle – the guard hadn’t been kidding when he said this was urgent, judging from his pace.
“I don’t know what’s going on, myself – just what I told you,” the guard answered. Jeremy snorted in exasperation, struggling to keep up – one of the many disadvantages of only having two legs.
Finally, they reached the castle. Panting with exertion, he watched irritably as the guard, who was only barely tired, lowered the drawbridge. This more than anything caught Jeremy’s attention: Why was the drawbridge raised in the first place? Cautiously, he approached the throne room, wishing he had a weapon.
His question was answered as soon as he entered. Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis were all in the center of the room, horns lit around a brightly multicolored magical sphere. The first thing Jeremy noticed, however, was that Luna was awake during the daytime: Clearly this was more important than he had realized. Inside the sphere was a human, slumped and haggard, and also apparently asleep. His beard was ragged, his hair was singed, and his glasses had evidently broken a long time ago – but for some odd reason, they were still on his face, slightly askew.
“What the hell?” Jeremy asked as he walked forward, and Celestia looked over.
“Good timing,” she commented. “Take a look at this one.”
Jeremy examined the human – he did look awfully familiar… “Ethan?” Jeremy asked, a deep suspicion beginning to form in his mind.
Chrysalis nodded. “You won’t believe how we found him,” she mentioned. Disengaging herself from the magical sphere, she walked over, checking quickly to see if Ethan had woken. Satisfied that he hadn’t, she resumed walking over to him to tell the story.
“He arrived earlier today, completely unarmed and lacking anything but the clothes on his back. And he didn’t try to hide it, either – he directly approached the throne room, and didn’t resist capture. Before he passed out, he claimed he was genuinely repentant for his actions, and had barely escaped the terrorist group with his life after they bailed him out. He hasn’t had anything to eat for a while, so he’s going to die pretty soon unless we decide to do something,” Chrysalis finished.
Jeremy sighed deeply, expressing his frustration with a hand to his forehead. “Okay. On the one hand, there’s no way I’m ever trusting this guy – that’s a given. On the other… should we really give him the benefit of the doubt? If he’s unarmed and doesn’t have any electronics either on his person or embedded in his body, it’s not like he could do much against you guys – or, if it comes to that, me.”
Chrysalis nodded thoughtfully. “Then again, this worm has military training – who knows what he might pull,” she rebutted.
Jeremy considered this. “…I hate to say this, but we might just have to keep him on a short leash…” he finally responded.
Chrysalis sighed. “I know you’re a pacifist and all, but can we kill him? Just this once?” she pleaded.
Jeremy chuckled darkly. “…Not yet.”
Given that it was fall break, he elected to stay at least the weekend in Equestria – the dining hall on his campus had closed for break, and he didn’t feel like scavenging around for a new source of food on Earth. He ate with the princesses in the royal food court, once again contemplating the miracle that was Equestrian cooking. Ethan was still in the throne room, attended to by Chrysalis, who had no need to consume food. Luna was occasionally teleporting food to an unseen place – she explained with a surly frown that she was feeding Ethan magically. Jeremy gave a neutral “hmm” in response.
Some hours later, as he was perusing the Canterlot library, he was informed by a much calmer royal guard that Ethan was feeling well enough to speak to him. Placing the book he had been skimming back on its shelf, he obediently followed the guard back to the main hall, where Ethan’s magical imprisonment had been switched for an actual cage. Jeremy frowned upon seeing it; the image of a caged human beside the two thrones was extremely unsettling. Celestia sent an apologetic smile his way.
“Sorry, this was what we had,” she responded aloud to his thought. Jeremy decided to let it go, and approached Ethan, who was trying and failing to adopt a casual pose.
“How about we start off with the obvious question: How the hell did you even get here?” Jeremy asked. Ethan shifted uncomfortably.
“Hitchhiked on a boat and swam back to America, found you had moved to college, sneaked onto campus, followed another kid in claiming I was an old alumni of the college, found your room after an hour of searching, convinced your roommate that it was my old room before he went out to breakfast, and slipped through. You were gone, probably at classes or something, so I went and found Celestia. You probably know the rest,” he finished, his voice sounding hoarse.
As angry as he was that this narcissistic asshole had waltzed back into his life, Jeremy was impressed – that sounded pretty difficult. “Say I believe you,” he started. “Why? Why would you turn yourself in?” Ethan looked as though he were about to cry.
“Okay, look, I… I messed up, alright? I admit it, I fucked up pretty badly. But I’ve been trying really hard to be a better person since I escaped. I want you guys to… to help me be better.”
Jeremy looked around. Celestia was apparently considering Ethan’s offer, lip still curled in contempt. Luna simply looked back at him, as unamused as ever. Chrysalis’ face, on the other hand, was lit up in a vitriolic snarl.
“And why should we believe that tripe?” she asked viciously. Ethan took a subconscious step back as she advanced forward, fairly spitting with fury. Jeremy raised an eyebrow.
“You can’t… just tell when he’s lying?” he asked curiously.
Chrysalis looked as though she were about to say something, then sighed. “I was going to intimidate him, but yes, I can tell he isn’t faking it.”
Jeremy shrugged. “Good enough for me… although one wrong step and you’re dead,” he addressed Ethan, who vigorously nodded.
Celestia unlocked the cage, staring at Ethan with the seeming intent to burn him to a crisp with the unholy nuclear wrath of the sun. Jeremy looked at her in concern – was she taking issue to his earlier attraction? Her horn wasn’t lighting up, so she wasn’t planning to do anything just yet – but Jeremy had the distinct feeling he’d better keep the two apart.
It had taken a while for Ethan to get cleaned and dressed in a brand new set of clothes – these were some of Jeremy’s, although they hardly fit. After he had finished, Jeremy elected to take him on a tour of Canterlot, in order to gauge his ‘new’ personality in a more subtle method. Though Ethan had been informed he would be sleeping in the dungeon, he hardly complained – whatever he’d been through had gotten rid of a lot of his earlier pompous attitude, Jeremy reflected.
“Over there is the shopping district – you can get all sorts of enchanted stuff there. There’s also a few food shops, but most of the good restaurants are closer to the castle.”
Ethan nodded in fascination. “What kind of stuff is sold in the magical shops?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Mostly utility stuff – housework, alchemy, hobby things. They don’t seem to have any limitations on what they sell, either, so long as it isn’t dark magic – I’ve seen some stuff that would almost certainly be illegal back on Earth.” Ethan chuckled.
After a while, the conversation turned back to Ethan’s escape.
“How did you even survive?” Jeremy asked as they made their way back towards the castle, night having fallen.
Ethan shrugged. “Got lucky, I guess.” He laughed, and Jeremy looked at him quizzically.
“What’s so funny?”
Ethan’s laugh faded to a chuckle. “What friends I have always tell me I look like Jesus, and when you asked me how I survived almost certain death, I thought it was funny.”
Jeremy took a closer look at Ethan, unimpressed by the joke but seeing the resemblance. Surprisingly for his age, Ethan stood a full three inches shorter than Jeremy at around five feet eight inches, with shoulder-length curly dark hair and dark brown eyes. This, combined with a pale enough shade to rival Jeremy’s own, broad shoulders, and long, skinny arms, actually did make Ethan resemble the stereotypical Italian depiction of Jesus – though not, Jeremy reminded himself, the realistic one.
The four met in the throne room over drinks to discuss things while Ethan was safely locked away in the dungeon.
“Well, this complicates things,” Jeremy started. “He’s actually not awful this time.”
Chrysalis made a sound of disgust. “I say we lock him in the dungeon and just forget about him,” she muttered.
Jeremy gave a short chuckle to that. “As much fun as that would be, I feel like we kind of owe it to him to teach him how not to be so terrible. Should we even bother prosecuting him for the stunt he pulled last time?” Jeremy asked Celestia.
She considered for a moment. “It wouldn’t do much good – here, his crime isn’t very well-known, and on Earth he’s already a wanted fugitive.” Jeremy suddenly remembered something important.
“We should probably tell Mary we have her guy,” he mentioned, pulling out his phone and tapping out a quick email. Out of paranoia, he reverted back to the old standard of using as imprecise terminology as possible, hoping that Mary would get it.
She responded a few minutes later, sounding approving of his tersely vague language, and let him know she’d be calling off the search. With that done, the serious part of the conversation was basically over, so the topic moved to their personal lives. A few minutes later, a different guard checked in.
“Personal letter from Princess Cadance,” he said, and Celestia politely accepted the letter, the guard dismissing themselves.
Jeremy stared at the letter, a certain train of thought coming back to haunt him.
“Something on your mind, Jeremy?” Luna inquired.
Jeremy sighed. “Oh, you know, just confronting my mortality. As in, how I’m going to die in just a few decades, but you’re all going to live for thousands of years?”
To his surprise, Celestia spit out her tea, drenching a shocked Jeremy. She hurriedly used her magic to wipe it off, then turned to Luna. “You mean you haven’t told him ?” she exclaimed, and Luna put a hoof to her mouth.
“We – we forgot, honest!”
Jeremy looked between the two of them, and Chrysalis seemed about as confused.
“Okay… what?” Jeremy queried.
Luna, to his surprise, shook for a moment. Finally, she removed her hoof with an expression of utmost shame. “If… if thou marry an alicorn… part of the marriage vows is to tie thy life to ours… meaning thou will be just as long-lived as we are, and not a moment more.”
Jeremy was unsure how to react for a moment as he considered this. Did he want to live forever? If he did, he’d watch everyone he loved on Earth die. If he didn’t… Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis would have to watch him get old and die. Agonizing over this, he looked up to see the three mares staring at him with sorrow in their eyes.
“We… never wanted you to have to make this choice. It’s not to be taken lightly, as I’m sure you know,” Celestia began heavily.
Chrysalis looked uncomfortable, and Luna was looking as though she wanted to be anywhere else at the moment – a feeling Jeremy could sympathize with. He went back to thinking, trying to look for positives. All his friends would die – but he’d be able to make a constant, endless supply of new ones as the centuries moved forward. Plus, he could actually oversee the progress of humanity and ponies – he could learn forever.
“You know what, yes. Let’s do it,” he said, surprising all three of them.
“Art thou… art thou sure ?” Luna asked.
Jeremy shrugged. “Sure, all my friends are going to get old and die, and I’m going to be hella sad when that happens. But then I get to make new ones, right? Plus, I get to do research and stuff forever – I’m pretty stoked to see what the future will be like.”
To his surprise, Luna pulled him into a bonebreaking hug. “WE ARE PLEASED THAT THOU HAVE DECIDED THIS WAY!” she yelled into his ear, and Jeremy once again recalled the raw power of the Royal Canterlot Voice, rubbing his ear in pain and trying to laugh as it slowly stopped ringing.
Luna stepped back embarrassedly, horn lighting up, and the ringing instantaneously cleared. “This happens more often than we would like,” she admitted, chuckling. With that, Jeremy, Chrysalis and Celestia headed off to bed, Luna staying up to oversee the night as usual.
Before he went to bed, Jeremy walked down into the dungeon to check on Ethan. Unsurprisingly, he hadn’t moved, and was still amicable about his conditions.
“Dungeons here are so nice… I was expecting mold and corporal punishment,” Ethan commented.
Jeremy laughed. “Chrysalis thought much the same during her first and only stint here – she was in the cell across from yours.”
Ethan shifted nervously. “She… she was imprisoned here?” he asked.
“Yep,” Jeremy replied, and launched into a greatly shortened version of his whole story.
“…They must really hate me, don’t they,” he replied, and Jeremy didn’t need to think too hard about what he meant.
“We all do. You’ve done a whole lot of wrong, and you’re scraping the surface of making up for it. Did you expect we’d forgive you instantly?” Jeremy asked.
Ethan shook his head. “I’m just wondering why you guys haven’t straight-up murdered me yet,” he queried.
Jeremy shrugged nonchalantly. “We were considering it – as a matter of fact, we still are considering it. Then again, we’re trying to cut back on the murder.” Ethan raised an eyebrow, and Jeremy decided now would be a good point to leave off for the night.
Luna was holding night court by the time he exited the dungeon, though there wasn’t much of a court to hold from the looks of things.
“How is he?” she asked.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Same as ever – which is to say, really different.”
Luna gave an unamused hum. “We still think he is hiding something, even if it is not so explicit as compliance with the terrorist group’s cause. No matter what he says… do not trust him, Jeremy.”
Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. I’m heading off to bed, see you tomorrow.” Luna gave him a smile as he set off not for his apartment, but for the royal chambers.
Jeremy slipped into Celestia’s bedchambers, exhausted from his earlier tour.
“Well, today was confusing,” he remarked. Celestia, who was reading a book amidst a pile of papers, looked up.
“Quite. I was just about to go to bed – would you like to join me?” she asked, and Jeremy gratefully accepted.
Leaning an arm around the sun princess, he settled into her wing as she snuffed the solitary candle lighting the room.
Chapter 46
10-25-14, 12:17 P.M.
Jeremy woke up to find Celestia had left some time ago. Luna was obviously asleep by now, and he probably shouldn’t be bothering Celestia during work hours. So, he set off to the dungeons, not expecting anything much.
True to form, Ethan was still in his cell, disallowed from eating with the other prisoners due to his unique extraterrestrial status, as well as basically having committed one of the highest degrees of treason – an odd thing about Equestrian prisoners was that they were still extremely loyal to the diarchy, so they would probably attack him if they found out what he was in for. As soon as Jeremy entered, Ethan looked up.
“So, you’re getting married?” he asked. Jeremy cocked an eyebrow as he leaned against a wall.
“Yep. How’d you hear?”
Ethan grunted. “The guards talk about it a lot. Also, I heard the Royal Canterlot Voice yesterday.”
Jeremy laughed. “That tends to happen when she’s excited, yeah. We’re still planning it out, but the wedding should be pretty soon.”
They walked through Canterlot, Jeremy making sure to avoid his office – the last thing he wanted was Ethan getting his hands on the many weapons stashed inside.
“So, what are those guys’ plans for me?” he asked Ethan out of the blue.
“Shit, I dunno. They didn’t give me much beyond ‘let’s get revenge on that guy,” Ethan replied.
Jeremy sighed in frustration. “Man, you are useless as an information source,” he complained.
“Well, excuse me for not knowing other languages!” Ethan replied indignantly. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
Approaching the main square, he was surprised to see Chrysalis wandering around, checking the shops. As usual, the ponies regarded her with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion, but her casual and respectful manner threw them off enough that they weren’t openly hostile. Jeremy smiled in satisfaction as he walked up.
“They aren’t even running,” he commented, Ethan following behind.
Chrysalis smiled. “It certainly helps that I’m not attacking them, at any rate. Still got the vermin tagging along?”
Jeremy looked back at Ethan, who was hyperventilating a little upon seeing Chrysalis without the safety of a cage. “Yep. At this point, it’s more out of my boredom than anything else. When I asked for a break from schoolwork, I didn’t think it would be this uneventful…”
Chrysalis shrugged. “I’d ask if you wanted to come hang out at the hive, but I can’t have him tagging along…” she said, pointing a hoof at Ethan.
“It’s cool, I’ll stay behind,” Ethan answered nervously.
Chrysalis darkly chuckled. “Yes. Yes, you will,” she answered, turning around and heading off in the direction of the castle.
As they headed back to the castle, Ethan seemed to be too nervous to speak in front of Chrysalis, while Jeremy remained as impassive as ever. Finally, he cleared his throat.
“Hey, Queen Chrysalis,” Ethan started, stuttering slightly. Chrysalis looked at him.
“Yes?” she asked, unamused.
“I just wanted to say… sorry… for being an asshole,” Ethan muttered.
Jeremy stifled a giggle as Chrysalis remained unfazed, her stony expression amusing him greatly. This quickly changed when she replied.
“It’s going to take a whole lot more than ‘sorry’ to make up for what you did – right now, it is only out of respect to Jeremy that keeps my changelings from hunting you down and ripping . You . Apart ,” she hissed between clenched teeth, her face getting threateningly closer to his with every punctuated word. Ethan gulped audibly, while Jeremy raised an eyebrow. Chrysalis continued her rant, getting visibly worked up. “You teleport in here over a year ago pretending to help us, you kidnap my only friend and lover , and now you waltz in here like nothing happened?! No. NO! I won’t forgive you, I CAN’T FORGIVE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Chrysalis screamed as Jeremy looked on in shock. Passersby stared in alarm, and Jeremy looked over at them and made a ‘shoo’ing motion while Chrysalis wasn’t looking. After they scampered off, Jeremy placed a consoling arm around Chrysalis, while glaring at Ethan, all his old hatred surfacing as Chrysalis managed to give voice to his deepest thoughts. Ethan, to his credit, looked contrite.
“Chrysalis…” he started, adopting a serious tone of voice. Chrysalis glared at him through wet, acid-green eyes, and Ethan continued.
"I know that I almost killed you, did terrible things to the guy you loved, and approved wanton slaughter by giving you weapons. I haven't forgotten that, and you have every right to hate me for it. But after I escaped those awful people… I thought about what hate and disinterest for others’ feelings had done to us both. I know that I might never get your forgiveness. I know that what I've done was... well, completely unforgivable. What I did was atrocious . The part of me that thought that sort of thing was okay died the second I woke up in prison. And… I don’t want you, or anyone, to love me. Hell, I’m okay with you hating me. But… can you teach me how to change? To be a better person? I just… I want to stop being this, right now, this person you hate…” Ethan finished.
Chrysalis had been staring at him the whole time, alternating between glaring and narrow-eyed skepticism as Ethan rambled. For a moment, they stared at each other, then Chrysalis grumbled something and looked away.
“Sorry, what?” Ethan asked.
“FINE!” Chrysalis yelled, causing both Jeremy and Ethan to stumble back in alarm. “You want to learn how to be a better person, that’s fine by me. But I’m not teaching you. Go talk to Princess Celestia or something, she’s great at that – I can’t stand the sight of you .”
Ethan, after looking horrified and dejected for a moment, bowed his head. “Okay,” he whispered.
They entered the throne room, to find Celestia calmly examining a stained-glass window.
“Greetings, you three. Finished already?” she inquired.
“You could say that,” Jeremy muttered.
Ethan seemed to collect himself for a moment, then slowly approached Celestia. “I… I want to be a better person… Can you teach me?” he falteringly asked.
Celestia gave him a searching look for a moment, then turned to face him fully. “Of course, Ethan,” she replied – and Jeremy noticed her calm tone had shifted for a moment, eerily reminiscent of last year’s possession. Ethan, smiling, held out a hand, and Celestia recoiled. “Don’t you dare touch me,” she snarled, and Ethan withdrew his hand, shocked. Celestia stretched her wings out threateningly. “I overheard your conversation a short while ago, and while I’m touched by your sincerity, I can see into your mind. We are not anything together, Ethan – and don’t think for a single second that we ever will be.”
Ethan backed off, both hands raised in a protective gesture. “Yes, sure, okay,” he hurriedly agreed. Jeremy opened the door to the dungeon, and Ethan quickly walked through, his fearful eyes never quite able to leave Celestia’s penetrating glare. Chrysalis followed in soon after, and Jeremy shut the door after giving an alarmed look to Celestia.
They dropped Ethan off back in the dungeon without incident, and Chrysalis fairly pranced as she exited.
“…What are you doing?” Jeremy asked in consternation and mild amusement.
“What? It feels good to be able to enter and exit this place of my own free will,” Chrysalis answered.
Jeremy laughed, then stopped as he caught sight of Ethan again while rounding the corner. The guy was leaning against the wall, an arm cushioning and hiding his face. For all his hatred, Jeremy was actually feeling pretty sorry for the guy – he was by all accounts sincerely repentant, but all the same he deserved whatever he got. As he and Chrysalis exited the throne room, Jeremy walked over to Celestia. Luna had by now woken up, and was getting ready to raise the moon.
“You two are scaring me, you know that?” Jeremy remarked worriedly. Celestia averted her gaze.
“I know, I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that,” she admitted. “But his thoughts… as soon as he looked at me, he was thinking about doing it with me, and I just couldn’t take it, so I snapped. Judging from that conversation, looks like I wasn’t the only one,” Celestia commented, her glance shifting over to Chrysalis.
Chrysalis glared right back. “At least you’ve only had to deal with him once ,” she muttered.
Celestia didn’t look as though she knew how to respond, and thus left to lower the sun, leaving Jeremy and Chrysalis alone. Chrysalis stalked off in the direction of the hive, and Jeremy followed after waving to Luna.
“I need a break from this break,” Jeremy sighed a few minutes later as they arrived at the hive.
“You, me, and everyone else who’s ever dealt with that guy,” replied Chrysalis.
She greeted her drones with a pleased hiss, and they exchanged a rapid-fire conversation – presumably, Jeremy surmised, about their day. He dropped them a nod, and they just as coolly returned it – at this rate, they’d be able to hold their own in a human conversation , Jeremy wryly thought. He was distracted from this when Chrysalis lit up her horn, and Jeremy was lifted into the air.
“Hey! Whoa, put me down!” he exclaimed.
Chrysalis laughed. “Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting for this since the beginning of break.”
She tossed him over onto her cocoon, where Jeremy landed with a soft thump.
“What exactly are we doing?” Jeremy asked, and Chrysalis flew over on top of him, sitting on his chest.
“You. Me. Hours of cuddling. Starting now,” she answered, and Jeremy laughed as he embraced her in a tight hug, leaning back and relaxing.
10-25-14, 9:18 P.M.
“I can’t believe you got bored of cuddling after only an hour,” Jeremy panted, exhausted.
“I can’t believe you expected me to be satisfied with just cuddling,” joked Chrysalis in return.
Jeremy chuckled, and pulled her closer. A crack of thunder sounded just outside the hive, startling him, and Chrysalis looked up as Luna rushed in, drenched. She stopped at the sight of the two of them, still sweaty.
“We… had business in Ponyville, and thus had to traverse the Everfree… Alright, move over ,” she declared as she pushed up beside Jeremy – the cocoon was just barely enough to accommodate them all.
“Hey! You’re soaked and freezing!” Jeremy complained as she snuggled up beside him.
“And what better way dost thou know of to warm our royal person?” Luna replied teasingly as Jeremy shivered from the sudden chill.
“I can think of a few things…” Chrysalis commented deviously, and she reached out her head and bit him on the forearm.
Jeremy stared in shock at the bloodless puncture wounds for a moment, and then realized what she had done. “Are you serious? Aphrodisiacs?” he asked Chrysalis, pretending to be unamused.
“It’s not like you can recuperate like this naturally,” purred Chrysalis, and Luna giggled, rubbing an ice-cold hoof among his chest.
A half hour later, all three were damp with sweat and rainwater, significantly more tired, but still laughing.
“You two are insatiable, honestly,” Jeremy claimed.
“Would you prefer otherwise?” Chrysalis asked. Jeremy gave this serious thought.
“…No,” he finally mumbled in response. Luna laughed even harder.
“Dunno about you guys, but I could use a shower,” Jeremy finally said, stifling a giggle of his own and grabbing his clothes, which had been tossed aside quite a while ago. Luna lit up her horn, and a second later they found themselves in front of the portal to Earth.
“Imagine your roommate’s face if he saw you like this,” Chrysalis commented snidely as Jeremy headed off to shower. Jeremy laughed, and exited the room.
After his shower, he flopped down onto his bed, still tired but happier. Dragging over his laptop, he opened his email to find that Mary had a new message for him: He was to carry at least a small firearm with him at all times. Shrugging, Jeremy forwarded this to Luna and asked her to get his revolver from the suit – he didn’t think he’d look inconspicuous with an M16 assault rifle sticking out of his backpack, but the magnum was much easier to hide and had about the same stopping power.
After a while of browsing, he closed the laptop and put it back, finally laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. His mind was awhirl with thoughts and worries. Immortality. Marriage. Ethan. Terrorists. Murder. School. He mentally chuckled at that last one – was that really a priority compared to all the other things? He supposed it was – to him, at least. Still, he kept feeling as though he were too young to be thinking about this kind of stuff – it was all so heavy. Did he really want to live forever? Was he really ready to get married? What would he do when the terrorists finally arrived?
He thought about these things for what seemed like hours, when Celestia stepped through the portal.
“Hello,” she greeted, and Jeremy moved over to make space for her on the bed.
She politely accepted, laying down next to him – it was a single-person bed, but Jeremy was skinny enough that the two could fit comfortably.
“Something on your mind?” she asked, noticing his expression. Jeremy briefly explained, and Celestia sighed.
“The answer to your question is that nobody should have to think these things – being born an immortal alicorn is one thing, but choosing immortality is quite another. And I know you well enough to know you won’t renege easily on your decision, but having regrets and worries like these is quite normal – everyone gets them, though not on the same issues, of course.”
Jeremy chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Celestia smirked. “Of course I’m right, I’m the Princess.” Jeremy playfully swatted her on the shoulder, and she used a wing to smack him in return.
“So, Luna told me what you’ve been up to in the past few hours – you do get around quickly,” she chortled.
Jeremy blushed slightly. “More like I’m dragged around,” he retorted, chuckling.
“Mind if I join in?” Celestia asked, blushing as well.
Jeremy looked over at her, a small smirk on his face. “I don’t think I ever will,” he replied, and leaned over to kiss her on the lips. As he pulled away, the spring mattress squeaked fiercely, and Celestia looked down at it.
“Goodness, maybe we should take this somewhere else,” she remarked.
“Fine by me,” Jeremy replied, and a second later they were in Celestia’s own neatly organized bedroom.
“Ready?” Celestia asked.
“As ever,” Jeremy casually replied.
Quite some time later, they were both exhausted but feeling significantly better. “How did you go for that long ?” Celestia asked, as both of them basked in the afterglow under her bedcovers.
“Might be due to Chrysalis injecting me with aphrodisiacs earlier – whatever that girl cooks up in her fangs, it works,” Jeremy replied.
Celestia laughed, but her smile quickly turned into a more serious expression. “I just hope you don’t end up getting addicted to something,” she worried aloud.
“I wouldn’t dare,” Jeremy replied, stretching an arm out lazily under her neck and bringing her into a tight hug.
Moments later, Celestia snuffed the single lit candle in her room, and the two fell into deep, warm, comfortable sleep.
Chapter 47
10-29-14, 4:09 P.M.
Fall break ended much the same way it began, with not much fanfare and even less enthusiasm – while a two-day break from classes was appreciated, it wasn’t anything to write home about. Jeremy had shown Ethan around most of Canterlot, with the older ex-military being as docile as ever. Either he was planning a doozy of a betrayal plot, or Ethan had genuinely reformed – and Jeremy wasn’t sure which he preferred. To his credit, if it was an act, Ethan was putting on a hell of a show – after all, Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis were all experienced in the art of mind-reading. Still, no amount of evidence to the contrary would stop Jeremy from worrying about such things – he had become too accustomed to sudden revelations of precisely who wanted him dead to expect any less.
Having just gotten home from his classes, he flopped down on his incredibly squeaky dormitory bed and laid there for a second, taking a moment to relax before getting up and logging into his laptop. Not much had happened here either, so he busied himself with various websites for an hour before getting up to go to dinner. As he did so, a question popped into his mind that he was amazed he hadn’t thought of earlier – when exactly was his wedding? He resolved to ask one of the alicorns or Cadance when he got the chance.
Dinner was usually a quick affair for him – get the food, eat, and leave. His social habits certainly hadn’t improved any since he had begun dating royalty, and while Celestia respected his introversion she would occasionally make comments suggesting he should try talking during meals. An apologetic shrug from Jeremy was mostly what she got in response – he was vaguely aware that talking would be good for him, but couldn’t bring himself to bother to do it. Mulling over these thoughts, he almost didn’t notice the shattered glass at the other end of the dining hall until the bullet lodged itself firmly in his cranium.
And bounced off.
Startled out of his reverie, Jeremy looked upward as though expecting to physically see the bullet sticking out of his forehead; finding nothing, he tentatively placed a hand to his forehead. He had been facing an adjacent wall to the massive window that occupied the front of the dining hall, so if the bullet had hit him, it should have cut a furrow through the front of his skull. Pulling his hand away, he wasn’t sure whether to be shocked or relieved that there was no blood whatsoever. Several students were looking at him in shock – Jeremy fervently hoped that the bullet had moved too quickly for them to see it bouncing off – he hadn’t, although he had certainly felt the impact. It occurred to him that they were asking him something, so he quickly tuned back in.
“Are you okay?” one was saying.
“I… yeah, fine. I think it missed,” he added, trying to cover for his sudden invincibility to projectile weapons.
The sniper, of course, was nowhere to be seen, having long since absconded back to safety. Still, an entire front window was broken, and Jeremy suspected that was the least of his problems – the PR on a lone potential gunman on his campus would be spectacularly hard to avoid, and if word got out that there was an entire group… He shook his head to clear it, placing his finished plate on the cleaning conveyer belt and heading out. To his surprise, a large group of students headed out with him, presumably as protection. “Thanks,” he mumbled, surprised that they had bothered.
He managed to make it to his dorm room without incident, and once again thanked the group, saying that he would take it from here. As soon as he shut the door, however, he was slammed against the closet wall by an unseen force. Thinking he had been hit by another bullet or some such, he hurriedly tried to get a glimpse of the perpetrator before the closet door opened and he was pulled inside.
There, he found Luna, who had evidently woken up in a hurry – her hair actually had strands sticking out, which was particularly odd given its ethereal quality.
“Hey. Guessing you know what happened?” Jeremy asked, trying to sound casual.
Looking oddly stern, Luna remained silent, physically dragging him via levitation up the stairs and into the throne room. Celestia was there as well, looking tired but concerned as soon as she saw him. Chrysalis, however, was not nearly as somber as the other two, and tackled him as soon as Luna let him down.
“You’re okay!” she exclaimed, embracing him in a rib-crushing hug.
“Yeah… though I’m not exactly sure how,” Jeremy answered. Chrysalis let go and examined him critically – apparently finding nothing wrong, she sat back on her haunches.
Finally, Luna spoke up. “We placed an enchantment on thee to deflect projectiles over a certain velocity in case something like this happened. Now, tell us everything – didst thou see who attempted this?” she queried, still sounding strangely cross with him.
Jeremy hung his head. “No, sorry… I was a little distracted. Thanks for the spell, though – it would’ve been a headshot otherwise.”
At this, Luna looked even angrier, and Jeremy leaned back, by now back to being thoroughly alarmed. At this, Luna appeared to come to herself, and sat back, giving him an apologetic look.
“Sorry, we just…” she trailed off, unable to finish.
“What Luna intends to say is that she’s been wanting to go after these ‘terrorists’ for a while now, and she got rather upset when she learned you had been attacked,” Celestia explained, sounding both amused and stern towards her sister.
“Can we get a better name for them?” Jeremy wondered aloud.
All three looked at him, confused, and he gave an irritated sigh of his own before explaining.
“It’s just… calling them ‘terrorists’ makes me think of the official variety, and that just makes me think of stuff like the Red Scare and War on Terror. I dunno…” Chrysalis mulled over this, apparently deep in thought – she was the only one who besides Jeremy who had thoroughly researched the issue due to her newly found interest in all things sociopolitical.
“Could we call them… Is there an actual name they go by, anyway?” she asked. Jeremy shrugged. “I’ll ask Mary – they might be tied to some named group or other.”
From there, the conversation didn’t accomplish much – it wasn’t like they had any new information, after all. Jeremy elected to head back to Earth, on account of homework and other such trivialities – kissing each of his marefriends goodbye, he headed back through the portal, noting that he had dropped his cellphone along the way. Picking it up, he stepped out into his closet.
Thankfully, his roommate was once again absent, so he crossed over to his backpack, and took out the shining silver magnum stashed within. Gun safely in hand, he contacted Mary over his phone.
“Jeremy! Was waiting for a call,” Mary answered immediately, her voice sounding tense.
“Yeah, I can almost guess why,” Jeremy responded sarcastically.
Mary gave a short chuckle. “Yeah. Been making calls non-stop – nearly got fired for letting this one slip. Anyway, we’ve deployed the military squad and we’ve been combing the campus – thankfully, we actually got witness descriptions. The guy can’t have gone far, the campus is huge and we’ve stopped traffic.” Jeremy gave a thoughtful grunt in response. “Now, the sniper might come back to finish the job, with more bullets – lay low, in Equestria if you have to.”
Jeremy thought about this. “Maybe, although I'd like to keep even the possibility of Equestria being discovered out of the cards, if possible. Plus, Luna covered for the bullet – I did actually get shot.”
Mary reluctantly accepted this, and hung up after the usual parting pleasantries. Jeremy, meanwhile, thought about what to do. In all fairness, he could probably get away with hunting down the sniper himself – he was bulletproof, after all, and had weapons of his own. Then again, considering Luna’s earlier reaction, she’d probably freak out if he were to try something so reckless – so Jeremy elected to stay put.
10-29-14, 10:38 P.M.
Jeremy realized he had completely forgotten to ask about the wedding – and since everyone in the dormitory was apparently leaving him alone, he cautiously slipped back into the closet and headed through the portal, treading quietly along the castle corridors.
To his surprise, Ethan was milling around the throne room, busying himself once again with examining the stained glass windows depicting the various historical events of Equestria. Celestia was watching the two of them with a careful eye, seemingly ready to intervene at a moment's notice.
“So, are you gonna tell me what this is all about?” Ethan asked as Jeremy approached, and Jeremy briefly explained.
Ethan went pale, and before anyone could stop him, rushed out of the room, heading for the portal. Celestia watched him go in shock, and turned to Jeremy.
“What is he doing?” she asked, and Jeremy could only give a very confused shrug.
“I dunno, maybe he’s… oh, shit ,” Jeremy exclaimed, and ran after Ethan, sprinting around a maid in his haste.
Was Ethan seriously this stupid, going to confront the sniper? Or did he have some other motive? Jeremy couldn’t reason one way or the other, and he was extremely dismayed to learn his gun was gone – clearly Ethan had taken it. Shit, did he even have another weapon? Wait. The security office – it was close by, and might contain suitable armaments. Jeremy sprinted out, once again completely failing to care that he was still in his pajamas.
Mary was sitting at her desk when Jeremy burst in, panting from effort.
“Wha – I said to stay low!” she exclaimed, outraged.
“Ethan’s… gone after the guy! Took my gun… we need to stop him!” Jeremy hurriedly explained as he looked around for a weapon.
Finding a small pistol, Jeremy picked it up, only to find that it was empty. Mary, understanding his need, picked up a key and unlocked a cabinet on the wall, tossing a box of ammunition at him before grabbing her own pistol and heading out the door.
“Any ideas on where he might be?” Mary asked as they jogged through the dark campus, her expression invisible in the night. Jeremy shook his head. “He could be anywhere,” he replied.
They didn’t have much luck until they heard shouts from the farthest end of the college, primarily comprised of the engineering, medical and research buildings. Arriving, Jeremy was dismayed to see a crowd had already gathered, and were pointing and muttering excitedly at a particular building that Jeremy recognized – he’d spent many an hour being lectured inside of it. Ethan was visible on the rooftop, magnum occasionally giving out an echoing report. The other occupant of the roof had a long-barreled rifle, but wasn’t using it – they were using a pistol, from what Jeremy could barely make out. Spotting him, the sniper immediately switched targets, flat-out ignoring Ethan to attempt to fire at Jeremy. Seeing this, Ethan lunged forward, catching the sniper by the legs and sending him to the floor of the roof. They were dangerously close to the edge of the building now, and were scuffling and wrestling something fierce – Jeremy realized they were fighting over the revolver, which Ethan had dropped. Ethan held it up in triumph, only to find it snatched away at the last moment by the sniper, who aimed it first at Ethan. The cold white glint of a smile was visible in the moonlight, as the lone gunman pressed the trigger, and the magnum gave a sharp report, Ethan howling in pain and clutching his chest. Finally, Ethan fell to the floor – Jeremy hoped the wound wasn’t fatal. After a second of watching, the sniper turned back to Jeremy, only to find that both he and Mary had their guns drawn.
“Come quietly and we’ll let you live,” Mary shouted up at the assailant. He gave no response, instead aiming the magnum at both of them, hand noticeably shaking as he apparently tried to decide who to attack.
“Seriously, you’ve lost. No sense continuing this,” Jeremy added, trying not to sound inflammatory as he cajoled his attacker.
To their surprise, the man lowered his weapon. “That’s it… now drop it, and-“ Mary began, but didn’t have to finish as the sniper brought it back up to point the revolver at his own head, and pulled the trigger. There was an explosion of bright orange-white light and red, and the body fell right over the edge.
But not before snagging Ethan’s own unconscious body. The two tumbled to the floor, and the corpse of the sniper hit a railing before flopping to the ground, clearly dead. Ethan, however, was not so lucky – his prone body falling right onto an architectural decoration. There was a sharp sound as Ethan was immediately impaled, the wrought-iron rod going straight through his torso. Jeremy looked on in shock as there were screams of horror from the crowd.
“You stupid fuck,” Jeremy said, looking down at Ethan’s unconscious form and holding back tears. “What did you hope to accomplish?” The pole had gone clean through his lower chest – Jeremy quickly checked for a pulse, and found a weak beat after some searching. I need medical assistance RIGHT NOW , he thought.
Celestia almost immediately responded with a simple On my way , and Jeremy tried to stop the bleeding, somewhat surprised that Celestia was still awake at this time of night. He couldn’t remove the pole, as that would just cause Ethan to bleed out faster, so he busied himself with applying pressure to Ethan’s upper torso in an attempt to staunch the bleeding.
Celestia arrived seconds later in her human form, wearing a white shirt and black shorts which startlingly contrasted with her tan skin, and stopped in front of Mary.
“I’m with the paramedics,” she announced to the crowd, and immediately lifted Ethan off of the ironwork, tearing off part of her shirt as a makeshift bandage. Mary, too startled to speak, had to be nudged by Jeremy before buying this.
“Of course,” she muttered, and helped Celestia move Ethan offsite as the police cars began to converge on the blood-spattered scene.
Did I play that right? Celestia asked Jeremy mentally.
I don’t know, and the civilians probably don’t either – you’re probably fine , Jeremy replied.
As he watched, Ethan was healing – Celestia was using her magic as they ran, and finally teleported them once the four were out of sight.
Chapter 48*
Chapter 48*
As usual when it came to public incidents, explanations had to be made. Once he got done apologizing to Mary, she went back through the portal to do just that, although she stopped to look around for just a moment – Jeremy smiled, seeing her expression upon being in Equestria for the first time. Jeremy was left to explain the events to Chrysalis and Luna, both of whom promptly insisted he get some sleep and see them in the morning. Jeremy thankfully reflected that the police wouldn’t be coming his way, seeing as Mary had that situation under tight lockdown. Speaking of lockdown, he was sure there would be nothing short of martial law at campus now that that particular secret was out: The threat of a terrorist group invading campus was sure to strike fear into the hearts of just about anyone.
Jeremy made his way back to his bed, collapsing as his adrenaline suddenly wore off. He knew this kind of thing was going to happen eventually, but did it have to be so soon? He wasn’t even married yet. Pulling the blanket up over himself, he briefly considered brushing his teeth – thinking better of exposing himself to questioning dorm-mates so soon, he rolled over and tried to block out the streetlamp outside his window, doing his best to fall asleep and forget the day he’d just had.
10-30-14, 7:07 A.M.
Unable to remain in bed any longer, Jeremy roused himself from his semi-conscious stupor, noting that his roommate had come in sometime during the night and was fast asleep in his own bed. Jeremy quietly opened the closet door, cringing at the noise of the hinges, and slipped through the portal.
Celestia looked like she had had a rough night, and was sipping what Jeremy presumed was coffee as he entered the throne room.
“Jesus, you look awful,” Jeremy noted when he came in, giving her a concerned onceover. “You sure you got enough sleep?”
Celestia blearily nodded, taking another sip before responding. “It took quite a lot of magic to heal a wound like that – I’ll feel better in a few hours. Ethan’s in his cell – I believe Chrysalis was attending to him last.” Surprised at this last comment, Jeremy waved goodbye before heading off to the dungeon to check on Ethan.
Ethan was awake and lively, judging from his expression, and Chrysalis was indeed there, horn glowing green as she lifted over a bedsheet to replace the blood-soaked one that was currently laying in a pile at the foot of Ethan’s bed. Jeremy stepped into the cell, and gave Chrysalis a questioning look: Why was she being so nice? Chrysalis sighed, getting the point, and finished her ministrations before getting Ethan’s attention.
“Okay, so I guess I have to thank you for trying to save my husband-to-be, even though he was already bulletproof and we already had the situation under control. Thanks. Stupid humans and their stupid hero complexes…” Chrysalis muttered as she stormed out of the room, trying and failing to glare at the both of them. Ethan watched her go with a smirk on his face.
“Was she like that with you?” he asked.
Jeremy chuckled. “Yeah, give her some time,” he answered.
With Chrysalis gone, Jeremy remembered another thing to do. “So, what even did you hope to accomplish? Chrysalis brought up some good points – I had magic bulletproofing, and we had the military on campus.”
Ethan rubbed the back of his head embarrassingly, stopping and emitting a grunt of pain after a few seconds. “I guess I wanted to really prove to you guys that I’m on your side here,” he answered, giving a sheepish grin.
Jeremy slapped a hand to his forehead. “You’re crazy, you know that?” he asked rhetorically.
Ethan gave him a bug-eyed grin. “Of course I am!” he answered, and Jeremy gave him a look that suggested concern for his mental stability.
“…Right…” Jeremy replied, and left the room.
The rest of the day was uneventful – he went back to Earth, got lunch, went to his classes and dodged questions, and went to dinner. His academic advisor and teacher of his last class for the day concernedly approached him after class, but Jeremy politely declined to talk, stating that he was perfectly fine and thanking them for their concerns. The dining hall had been patched over with caution tape and plastic wrap, and the area below the windows was devoid of activity – thankfully, the dining hall itself was on a balcony, though the windows appeared to be on the same level due to their sheer size. Students whispered and pointed at him as he silently got food and ate, and he inwardly sighed – so it was back to this, huh? Finishing up, he slipped out of the dining hall and headed back to his dormitory.
Jeremy stepped back into his dorm room fresh from a shower, feeling unnerved by the relative silence. For once, homework was going to be a welcome distraction. Jeremy meticulously went over each problem he’d been assigned, forgoing his usual strategy of just doing the work and trusting in his answers for a more time-consuming method. Not that it helped, anyway – his mind was still on how easily that sniper had entered the campus. If it was that easy to get to him, what would stop the full group once they arrived? Jeremy had been seeing members of the military scattered around the streets, machine guns in hand as they patrolled the areas. Most didn’t react to his presence, but one or two gave him a nod or even a smile, to which he had either responded with a glare or nothing at all. After all, the military hadn’t managed to accomplish anything much the last time they skirmished with this particular group – no, he had had to do everything alone.
He was distracted from this thought process when a letter appeared above him, landing on his head and startling him into making a large scribble mark on his paper. Jeremy looked down at it for a second, and did his best to erase the mark; when that failed, he sighed and opened the letter. “Dear Jeremy,” he read mentally. “Come over to the castle at once. – Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, and Queen Chrysalis,” he finished. What could they want? Surely something hadn’t happened so soon. Confused, he pulled on his pajamas and headed through the portal, replacing the foam cover behind him silently.
Jeremy was surprised to find that the throne room was unoccupied by either Celestia or Luna – was whatever it was that critical? A lone guard pointed him in the direction of the bedrooms, and Jeremy could’ve sworn he heard a snicker behind him as he left. What could that be about? As soon as he reached Celestia’s door, it was flung open, and Chrysalis’ hoof reached out and grabbed him with an unknown, almost magnetic attraction, pulling him into Celestia’s room and closing the door.
All three mares were waiting inside, a hungry grin on each of their faces. Jeremy looked around in half terror, half amusement as they circled around him like predators – he noted that Celestia’s bed looked like it had been magically expanded to over twice its former width.
“So, we all know you’ve been feeling a bit stressed recently,” Celestia began with a smirk on her face.
“And thou doth deserve a brief respite from thy daily toil,” Luna added, coming up behind him.
“So… I hope you haven’t made any reservations. Because for the next six hours, you belong to us ,” Chrysalis finished.
A flash of light later, and he found himself sprawled on the bed, clothes in a pile on the floor, and he looked up at the three, smiling as he realized what was going on. Before, they had taken him individually, and each tried not to interrupt the others during such times. This was different – they had clearly planned this together. And six hours ?
“You might need to re-study your anatomy – there’s no way I’m lasting six hours.” Chrysalis laughed, and showed her fangs, which were dripping with a clear, non-viscous fluid. “Oh… Right. Drugs. How could I forget?” Jeremy replied sarcastically, and Luna stifled a giggle.
Chrysalis leaned over and bit him on the forearm, trying her best to remain gentle. Jeremy watched with detached interest as the clear liquid seeped out from under the puncture marks, and he noted how he didn’t feel any different.
“Seriously, we have to stop doing this,” Jeremy noted as he examined his forearm.
“It’s perfectly safe, no side effects at all. If there were, you might become tolerant to love – couldn’t have that,” Chrysalis explained. Jeremy supposed that made sense, but all the same had to wonder just how Chrysalis’ miracle venom worked. Oh well, maybe he’d find out later.
The next six hours went by too quickly for Jeremy’s tastes, but all the same he enjoyed every second. His three marefriends seemed to have planned this, for any question as to why they weren’t attending to their own duties was met with a vague “This was scheduled”, and any attempt to exert himself resulted in him being pushed back down onto the bed and told to relax. Again and again they found interesting ways to make him double over in ecstasy, and Jeremy wondered how long they had been preparing for this moment. He wasn’t able to mull over the question properly, though, because he kept getting distracted by a well-timed lick or nip. Jeremy wasn’t exactly surprised when he never seemed to run out of stamina or get tired – clearly Chrysalis’ work. There was no time for him to rest in between, as every time he finished with one mare another was ready to get back into the game.
During Luna's second turn, she gulped and lit her horn, casting a spell to release her stallionhood. "So... we've tried 'handjobs' before, and they were amazing, but dost thou think thou couldst..." she trailed off uncertainly.
Jeremy looked up at her, giving her a confident smile. "Could what?" he asked calmly, looking at her with an expression of complete trust and confidence. Chrysalis was watching curiously, and Celestia was smiling - Jeremy suspected she might have something to do with this.
Luna made a squeak that would have sounded more appropriate coming out of Fluttershy's mouth, and blushed. "Couldst thou... suck on it?" she finally got out.
Jeremy was initially surprised, but hid it well - he couldn't do that to her, not now. She needed him. "Absolutely," he answered, and Luna opened one eye in surprise.
"See, sister? I told you he'd be okay with it," Celestia remarked, and Luna looked at Jeremy, a hint of uncertainty still showing on her features.
Jeremy nodded at her, a slight smile still on his face, and she finally smiled back, taking a deep breath as she spread her back legs, her rod already standing stiff. Part of him was apprehensive - he hadn't done this before, he didn't know if he was any good at it. All the same, he had to try. Leaning down, he slowly approached her cock with his mouth, kissing the tip once. Luna shuddered, and Jeremy looked up at her.
"Just tell me if I mess up, okay?" he reminded her, and Luna nodded, her expression caught between a jubilant grin and an embarrassed frown.
With that, he opened his mouth, and took the first few inches inside. It tasted exactly like he imagined his own did: Salty, a bit sweaty, but overall not unpleasant. Luna had covered her face with her hooves, an embarrassed grin on her face, and Chrysalis leaned over and gently pushed her hooves out of the way so she could watch.
"It's okay, Luna," Chrysalis softly stated. "We're all here for you."
Celestia nodded, and placed a hoof on her sister's shoulder. "Nopony in this room will ever judge you for what you have, Lulu. Please, enjoy yourself."
Reluctantly, Luna dropped her hooves to stare at Jeremy, who was still halfway down her length. To emphasize the point, he swirled his tongue around her member, and Luna shuddered in pleasure.
"O... okay," she gave in, and Jeremy smiled around her shaft before continuing to take it further into his mouth.
About three-quarters of the way down, his gag reflex kicked in - she was hitting the back of his uvula. Sensing his sudden pulse of discomfort, Luna immediately gave him a worried frown.
"Something wrong?" she asked, and Jeremy pulled off and shook his head.
"Nah... just getting used to it," he replied, his voice a little hoarse. Determinedly, he took her cock back into his mouth, and began moving up and down the length, as Luna gave out a soft groan of pleasure. Delighted that he was doing something right, Jeremy continued his motions until he was surprised by Luna thrusting into his mouth, her earlier reluctance forgotten in favor of raw lust. They continued this way for a few minutes more, until Luna shuddered and tensed up.
"We - we are going to - YESS!" she shouted, the Royal Canterlot Voice inflecting her pleasured cry as her fluids quickly filled up the remaining space in Jeremy's mouth and throat. Jeremy, stubborn to the end, swallowed every drop, and after he was sure she had exhausted herself gently pulled off of her slick shaft.
"Wow... that was... a lot," he remarked, and Luna gave an embarrassed giggle.
"We thank thee... for doing... that..." she panted, immediately pulling him into a very emotional hug. Jeremy returned it with interest, quickly kissing her on the forehead before turning back to the other two mares.
"So, ready to get back into it?" Chrysalis asked, pointing to his still-hard cock, which was starting to hurt - Jeremy surmised this was an effect of the aphrodisiacs, and nodded. Gently pushing Luna out of the way, Chrysalis straddled him, and leaned down to kiss him on the lips as her hips began bucking, sliding up and down without upsetting their balance. Jeremy quickly lost track of time once more as his mares resumed fucking him senseless.
Finally, after about three hours in, all three mares had collapsed on Celestia’s bed next to Jeremy, exhausted and sweating.
“That was… the best… distraction…” Jeremy panted, blushing.
Celestia gave a shaky laugh. “We still have three hours… let’s go get cleaned up…” she replied, just as tired as he was.
It took ten solid minutes for all of the four to be able to get up and move around again, and Celestia teleported them to another section of the castle. Here, a steaming bath occupied a spacious stone-tiled room, with a glass roof overhead so they could see the stars and lit torches on the walls. Jeremy looked around in amazement.
“What is this place?” he asked.
Luna laughed. “This is the royal bath,” she said as Celestia calmly stepped into the water.
To Jeremy’s surprise, Luna followed up by cannonballing into the bath, sending a spout of water into the air and drenching Celestia.
“Luna!” Celestia exclaimed in mock outrage.
Luna laughed, and Jeremy took advantage of Celestia’s distraction to slip into the hot water and sneak up behind her, before surprising her with a splash of his own. Celestia yelped in fright as she turned around, and Chrysalis was laughing so hard she rolled into the water herself. Jeremy gave a nonchalant grin, and Celestia stared at him before returning with an evil smile of her own.
What ensued was a splash fight for the ages as Celestia returned fire, using her wings to soak both Jeremy and Luna. Whatever fatigue Jeremy had felt earlier instantly vanished as he attempted to dodge, only to find himself hampered by the water he was moving through. A second later, he was smacked by a tidal wave of water as Chrysalis reappeared from the spot she had fallen in, still laughing as her horn lit up green and Jeremy got hit by a second wave of water.
“Hey, no fair!” Jeremy complained, laughing himself, and smacked an arm against the surface of the pool, creating a long-distance splash that managed to hit Chrysalis in the face.
“Well, it’s not like I can use my hooves,” Chrysalis pointed out, attempting to splash him normally. This was true – the water simply moved through the chitinous holes in her exoskeleton. Jeremy grumbled, still thinking magic was overpowered.
After a few more minutes of this, they settled down into actually enjoying the bath. Jeremy gave a contented sigh as he settled into the water, head only inches above the surface.
“So, when’s our wedding, anyway?” he asked, enjoying the feeling of the hot water.
Celestia hummed in thought. “A few days from now – Princess Cadance said she would try to work with your schedule, so I would guess the weekend.” Jeremy nodded appreciatively, and went back to relaxing, gazing up at the night sky.
Reluctantly, Jeremy exited the pool, promising himself he’d come back sometime if he was able. Tying a towel around his waist, he was teleported along with Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis back to her bedroom, and one spell later the bedroom itself was once again clean and organized. Jeremy found his clothes in a folded pile, and slipped into them, Chrysalis watching curiously.
“You know, a few months ago you’d have freaked out if we saw you changing clothes, regardless of relationship status.”
Jeremy laughed as he struggled into his shirt. “Guess I’m getting used to it.”
With that, they settled into the bed, which was still magically expanded. Jeremy busied himself with cuddling the three mares, paying special attention to their bellies – whatever made that particular part of pony anatomy pleasurable to rub, it hadn’t gotten old.
“So… how dost thou feel about becoming royalty through marriage?” Luna asked.
Jeremy frowned. “You know, normally that would be the thing that would turn me off about marriage. I don’t like politics, and being treated as a member of the upper class just sounds… annoying.”
Celestia chuckled. “One would think the worst part for you would be helping us with the paperwork,” she retorted.
Jeremy snorted. “Hardly. Paperwork is doable. Dealing with people bowing everywhere or something? Not so much.”
Luna looked at him with a small smile. “And here we thought we’d have to convince thee to try it – most of the upper-class ponies run at the sight of a tax form.”
Jeremy laughed. “Sounds awfully familiar.”
As Celestia turned out the lights, her horn temporarily casting a flickering yellow-orange glow on the walls, Jeremy reflected over what he had just said. He felt as though he were changing – the shy human who would have blushed and become tongue-tied at the mere mention of intimacy he had been was being slowly but surely replaced with a more confident and less inhibited version. To put it lightly, he was worried – was he becoming something he might not want to? What would his marefriends think of the personality change – would they be okay with it? Would he cross some line, and ruin everything?
This train of thought was interrupted when Luna leaned over to gently kiss him on the cheek.
“We could never hate thee, thou must know that,” she whispered. Jeremy realized she must have been listening in, and wasn’t even surprised anymore.
“I know, but… what if-“ Jeremy started, but was cut off by Luna’s hoof.
“Do not worry. All will be well,” she replied, and left to attend to the night. Jeremy was about to say something in return, but decided to take her advice to heart, and leaned back down onto the bed, slowly giving in to sleep.
Chapter 49
10-31-14, 1:02 P.M.
Jeremy returned from classes to find that pumpkins had invaded his dormitory. The cleaning staff were dressed in costumes of their own, and Jeremy gave them a friendly wave as he walked upstairs to his floor. Unfortunately, he had no costume this Halloween, so he intended to just hang out at the castle and enjoy the weekend. Despite the military presence, students were still allowed to dress up and move about during the daytime, though a night curfew was now in effect – Jeremy had heard grumbling about it all day. As he stepped through the portal, he noticed the castle had been redecorated with what appeared to be fake cobwebs and dimmer lighting. Smirking, he traipsed onward to the throne room.
When he entered, he was surprised to find Celestia not in costume, staring at him with a regal but somewhat amused expression as the usual line of ponies gathered up for the midday queue. Jeremy stared back for a moment, confused.
“…Alright, what’s with the face?” he asked, almost dreading the answer.
“Oh, you’ll find out,” Celestia teased.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, by now thoroughly concerned. His suspicions were verified when the Royal Canterlot Voice could be heard as Luna flew through the corridors, her expression set to a joyous smile.
“ART THOU READY FOR NIGHTMARE NIGHT?” she asked, nearly blowing Jeremy over with the sheer force of her voice.
“Uh… no? Missing a costume,” Jeremy confusedly replied.
Luna stopped smiling at once and surveyed him with a horrified look. “HOW DOST THOU EXPECT TO OBTAIN SWEETS WITHOUT A COSTUME? COME, WE MUST ALLEVIATE THIS AT ONCE,” she proclaimed, and royally stalked outside, Jeremy being levitated after her.
“…Help?” he asked Celestia, by now utterly confused. Celestia stifled a giggle before resuming her regal demeanor and returning to business.
“WE ART SO EXCITED FOR THIS YEAR’S NIGHTMARE NIGHT!” Luna shouted, and passersby quickly attempted to hold back laughter.
“Yeah, I… can tell,” Jeremy answered bemusedly as she cantered through the streets of Canterlot – it was hard to miss the spring in her step. “And… why, might I ask, are you so pumped?”
Luna set him down using her magic, and after straightening himself up he followed after her as they headed through the streets, Luna taking a specific path.
“We are anxious to appease our subjects with a Nightmare Night to remember – we have been planning this night sky for quite a while!” Jeremy nodded appreciatively.
“Can’t wait to see it. Are we going trick-or-treating?” he asked.
“Of course! Twilight Sparkle has been waiting for us to visit Ponyville again for quite some time now – and do not worry, we have learned from the previous two times.”
Jeremy looked up. “Previous two – oh, right, I missed one.” Luna looked away, her former enthusiasm gone for a moment.
“We… skipped the last Nightmare Night. It did not feel right celebrating without thee.” Jeremy immediately felt bad, but Luna brightened up almost immediately afterward. “But now we can make up for it and doubly celebrate!” Back to her former enthusiastic self already, she dragged him along to wherever the two were going.
To Jeremy’s surprise, they entered the office, which featured a few new magical machines.
“Now, we can create clothing for thee on demand – we do not see such machines replacing the Equestrian fabrics industry, due to their lack of creativity, but they can easily replicate whatever design thou hast in mind,” Luna explained as she brought him over to the machine. Jeremy thought about what costume he might like to make, and then a devious grin came onto his face as he started drawing on a digital interface on one of the new machines.
An hour later, after some technical mishaps, Jeremy was fully in-costume, having enlisted Luna to use a spell to grow and change the color of his hair. Luna looked over the costume curiously.
“An unusual choice… though the purple accents look nice on thee,” she commented.
“What are you going as?” Jeremy asked, a little defensively.
Luna laughed, sensing this. “We always adopt the same costume of Nightmare Moon, so the little ones recognize us.” Jeremy frowned. “What?” Luna queried.
“…Nothing, nothing.” Jeremy answered after a moment.
Dinner, as usual, was uneventful, although Jeremy was surprised to see some of the nobles in costume – Luna claimed that this was because they had kids to appease. Jeremy stifled a chuckle at this. Chrysalis walked into the room, her eyes going wide when she spotted Jeremy.
“…What are you wearing ?” she asked as she took the seat opposite him. The nobles who she was now sitting next to shifted uncomfortably, and were promptly ignored.
“Nightmare Night costume,” Jeremy explained, going back to his food.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Right…”
Jeremy smirked at her. “What, you don’t approve of free candy and cosplaying?”
Chrysalis shrugged. “Maybe it’s just my cultural upbringing, but it doesn’t appeal to me – what’s the point when I can transform at will?” she replied, turning into an exact mirror image of Jeremy himself to make her point.
Jeremy considered this briefly, staring interestedly at the copy of himself. “Still, it’s fun – you should give it a try.” Chrysalis made a disparaging noise.
As they flew over to Ponyville, Luna had the chariot stopped just outside the town.
“Forgive us, but we do need to ‘make an entrance’,” Luna explained.
Jeremy smiled, knowing what she was up to, and exited the chariot. It took off into the night, and Jeremy began his trek into the town.
By the time he had made it there, Luna had apparently already made her entrance, and was walking around as Nightmare Moon, accepting candy from the foals and generally acting in character. On the one hand, Jeremy found it amusing when she acted as the stereotypical 'evil villain', laughing maniacally and baring her fake fangs, and was glad to see that everypony knew it was a game, and she wasn’t really still Nightmare Moon. On the other, that face… it brought back memories. Memories of Celestia screaming at him, the vacuum of space, and a star that filled every portion of his vision, only to be engulfed by an even brighter light… Jeremy shook his head to clear it. He didn’t have time for this – it was just a costume.
Wandering around, he found Twilight Sparkle making the rounds with a candy-gorging Spike.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Jeremy greeted as he walked up to them.
“Oh! Hi, didn’t know you’d be attending,” Twilight greeted – she was dressed up as Princess Celestia, and Jeremy found the resemblance amusing.
“I don’t think Luna would let me do otherwise – she’s really enthusiastic about tonight,” Jeremy replied. “Nice costume, by the way.”
Twilight smiled. “Thanks. What’s yours? It looks like you just threw on a weird pair of pants and a shirt, and put on a pair of plastic cones and face paint.”
Jeremy laughed. “Pretty much. It’d take a while to explain, I’ll just send you the relevant story when I get home.”
Twilight nodded. “So, how are things going in the human world?” Twilight asked.
Jeremy shrugged. “Okay, I guess – a few minor things have been going on.”
He told her about the sniper incident and Ethan, and Twilight’s expression quickly turned horrified. “That’s so awful, I hope things work out for you!” she replied.
“Jeez, Jeremy, your life sounds like an A.K. Yearling book,” Spike commented with a yawn.
Jeremy laughed. “Yeah, maybe I should write all this down sometime,” he joked. With that, Twilight and Spike continued their own candy-fueled expedition, leaving Jeremy to his own devices.
Jeremy returned to the town square in search of Luna, and was quickly stumped when he couldn’t see her anywhere. Hearing a thunderous boom just behind him, he jumped, and Rainbow Dash burst into laughter as she leaned over the cloud she’d been laying on.
“Doesn’t that get old?” Jeremy asked, half annoyed and half amused.
“Nope!” Rainbow replied as she went off to push the cloud somewhere else. Jeremy sighed and walked onward.
He finally found Luna entertaining a group of foals. Their eyes were wide as she told the classic tale of Nightmare Night, finally ending with the usual jumpscare and sending them running and laughing. Jeremy walked up as they left, noting the small pile of candy in front of her.
“What do you even do with all of this?” he asked, picking one up.
“We split it with Celestia, normally – she never gets any due to her sleep,” Luna answered as she levitated the whole pile into a rucksack she had brought along.
“How long does it take you to eat?” Jeremy replied, smirking.
“A few months, normally. Why?” Luna asked.
Jeremy laughed. “You’ll find out.”
They went door-to-door after that, and Jeremy quickly amassed his own pile of sweets.
“Aw yes, this is a better haul than I ever got on Earth,” he enthusiastically commented, sorting through it.
Luna laughed, rummaging through her own completely full bag. “Celestia will be delighted by these – she always was partial to the strawberry-flavored candies,” Luna mused. Jeremy glanced over, semi-interested.
10-31-14, 2:47 A.M.
Nightmare Night officially ended shortly thereafter, and Jeremy and Luna got back on the chariot to head back to Canterlot. To Jeremy’s surprise, the night guards who had brought them there had evidently done some candy-collecting of their own, as two bulging sacks of sweets were present in the back of the carriage.
“Nice,” Jeremy complimented the two as he hopped in, and they flashed quick, fanged smiles back at him.
As Luna stepped in, they resumed their professional demeanor, and began flying her back to Canterlot. Jeremy shivered as they gained altitude – had it been this cold when they flew here? Luna, noticing his discomfort, looked over.
“Wouldst thou like us to cast a warming spell?” she inquired.
Still quivering, Jeremy shook his head. “I’ll get used to it,” he mumbled, and the guardsponies repressed chuckles.
An hour later, they arrived at the castle, and Jeremy quickly followed Luna inside. Approaching the two thrones, he noticed a small slip of paper on Celestia’s throne addressed to him. Picking it up, he read it aloud so Luna could overhear.
“I have just received word from Princess Cadance that our wedding will be taking place this Sunday. I hope you have a suit ready, Jeremy… Love, Princess Celestia,” he finished, chuckling at the last bit.
“…Dost thou have a suit?” Luna asked, concerned.
“It’s back at my old house, I can just head over there and grab it,” Jeremy answered.
To his surprise, Luna shook her head. “After what has happened in the past? It would be folly to let thee out of our sight for such a period of time. We will find somepony to collect it for thee.”
Jeremy grimaced – that was quite an inconvenience to ask of someone at his expense, especially for such a trivial item as a dress suit.
“Not to worry, we have an idea,” Luna announced, sensing his thoughts.
Using her magic to summon a scroll and quill, she jotted down a letter before finishing with a flourish and sending it off somewhere. Moments later, a response appeared, and Luna read it with a smirk.
“Dost thou feel like thou can stay awake a while longer?” she asked him.
“It is Friday, and therefore I don’t believe in sleep,” Jeremy answered solemnly, and she laughed as they teleported.
They appeared in the hive, Chrysalis waiting in front of them.
“And what brings you here so late at night? I was sleeping, you know,” she reminded them.
“Our apologies, but we think thou will agree on the urgency of the proposed errand.” She explained Celestia’s forwarded letter, and Chrysalis laughed.
“That’s your errand? Here I thought it was something actually critical. Let me guess, you want to send a changeling to do the job, right?” Luna nodded, and Jeremy chose this time to cut in.
“Do we really have to?” he asked. “They’re all asleep, and I don’t think they’d appreciate being told to retrieve a tuxedo.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and gave out a single hiss. Though it was unintelligible to Jeremy, Luna stifled a giggle, and Jeremy watched in awe as the entire hive came to life. Finally, Chrysalis pointed at a smaller changeling, who nervously stepped forward. They exchanged a series of hisses, and Chrysalis looked at Jeremy before hissing some more. Jeremy watched in consternation as the changeling nodded, saluted, and flew off.
“What was that all about?” he asked.
Chrysalis smirked. “I got the picture of the suit from your memories, and gave Anatase permission to use the portal.”
Jeremy nodded, accepting this, and the other changelings slunk off to their respective areas of the cave – they looked oddly dejected to Jeremy.
“Well, if that’s all, I’m heading back to bed. Goodnight, both of you,” Chrysalis yawned as she flew back into her own private cave.
They teleported back, Luna looking somewhat tired herself.
“Hey… what did Chrysalis say to wake up the entire hive so quickly?” Jeremy asked, bewildered. Luna once again attempted to hold back laughter, this time unsuccessfully.
“She said… Oh, it is too rich!” Luna exclaimed, laughing uncontrollably. Jeremy waited until she had finished, still perplexed. “Ahaha… she said… ‘The Savior needs assistance’,” Luna finally got out, and Jeremy blushed furiously, causing Luna to double over once more, her laughter echoing throughout the throne room. He slapped a hand to his forehead, trying to laugh along with her.
After that, he headed back through the portal to his dormitory bed, placing his bag of candy under his bed. His roommate was asleep, so he tried to move around as quietly as possible, tiptoeing off to the common’s men’s bathroom to brush his teeth and shave before finally climbing into bed.
He checked the clock – it was 4 A.M. At least it was a Saturday tomorrow, Jeremy reminded himself wearily. He’d have plenty of time to sleep in. He rolled over, and quickly gave over to unconsciousness.
Chapter 50
11-1-14, 1:27 P.M.
Jeremy woke up to find his roommate gone, presumably off to whatever it was they did all day. He checked the clock, and groaned – the entire morning, gone. Oh well, that’s what he got when he stayed up until 4 A.M. Rolling out of bed, he hastily got dressed, and headed off through the portal.
Celestia was running day court, and Luna was most likely sleeping in. Waving to Celestia as he passed by, Jeremy headed over to the office, wondering if that changeling had returned yet. Entering, he bumped into Chrysalis, who looked as though she had been about to leave herself.
“Oh! Hello, Jeremy,” Chrysalis greeted.
“Hey, what’s up?” Jeremy replied jovially.
“I was just about to check on Anatase – it’s not like her to take this long…” Chrysalis worried.
Jeremy shrugged, unsure of how to respond. They traveled back into the hive to wait.
It was only a few minutes before Anatase came flying in, plastic-bagged tuxedo carefully held between her fangs.
“Nice work,” Jeremy complimented, and Anatase gave him a tired smile before buzzing over to the love machine to chat with some other changelings.
“Well, that was convenient,” Chrysalis noted before once again picking up her things.
“Wait, where are you going now?” Jeremy asked. Chrysalis looked at him.
“Haven’t you heard? Princess Cadance arrived just this morning to go over the final plan for the wedding, and requests that we all attend.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “I hadn’t heard, actually, so I guess I’ll join you.” With that, the two set off, the hive buzzing with activity behind them as they left.
The main square in Canterlot had been decorated anew with posters detailing the upcoming marriage, so much so that Jeremy had to refrain from bursting into embarrassed laugher every time he saw one.
“What’s up with you?” Chrysalis asked curiously.
“I didn’t expect this wedding to be so… advertised,” Jeremy haltingly responded.
“Of course it would be – it’s a royal wedding, idiot. Cadance’s went much the same way,” Chrysalis informed him.
Jeremy grimaced. “I just hope I can do the ceremony without breaking down like an imbecile halfway through,” he muttered.
When they entered the castle, Jeremy was surprised to find that day court had been suspended, and Celestia was nowhere to be found. Once again, there was a letter on Celestia’s throne for Jeremy, and Jeremy read it over before turning around.
“They’re in the garden, practicing,” he explained to Chrysalis, and she nodded as she smartly turned to follow him once more.
Jeremy stepped out into the garden, enjoying the fall air.
“Oh yeah, the garden’s kind of gigantic,” he remembered as he gazed out at the maze of hedges.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and lit up her horn. “That way,” she proclaimed a moment later, and confidently strode off along the path, Jeremy perplexedly following.
Surprisingly, Chrysalis found the others easily, and both of them were surprised to see Celestia’s attire, as well as Luna being wide awake and dressed as well. Both were in wedding gowns with trains that spread quite a few feet behind them, dragging along the grass but somehow never quite getting stained – Jeremy supposed magic was at work. Princess Cadance was with them, and appeared to be coaching them on what would happen – Jeremy found this strange given the age gap, as surely Luna and Celestia were both far more experienced than her. Queen Chrysalis approached, examining the dresses with what appeared to be a practiced eye.
“If I had known this was a dress rehearsal, I would have had something made,” she commented, and Cadance looked up. For a second, she was completely silent, and it occurred to Jeremy that their issues with each other might not have entirely disappeared.
“We were unsure whether you wanted something made,” Cadance cautiously responded.
“Fair enough,” Chrysalis casually responded, and trotted over to examine Princess Cadance’s wedding plans.
Cadance flinched as Chrysalis got close, and Chrysalis stopped and looked at her sternly.
“Hey. Listen. I’ve already got my own romance going, okay? I don’t need yours anymore. Relax already,” Chrysalis asserted.
Princess Cadance stared at her for a moment, then gave a smile. “Of course,” she replied cheerfully, and Jeremy caught the slightest relieved slump of Cadance’s shoulders as Chrysalis turned back to the documents.
Celestia and Luna were watching the whole exchange with a hint of trepidation, but Jeremy could’ve sworn he saw approval in their eyes as well as it finished.
They spent the rest of the afternoon going over the different parts of the wedding – the opening, ceremonies, vows, closing, and afterparty. Jeremy asked about rings, only to find that Cadance had already had them made – she promised he would enjoy them.
“You seem awfully at ease with all of this formality,” Princess Cadance remarked to Jeremy after a few hours had passed.
“I’ve been to a few formal ceremonies before, this isn’t too new,” Jeremy answered, and Cadance gave him a surprised smile. It was true – when his family had been alive, his cousins had had a few weddings of their own, and the same general style was also reflected in some of the Scouting ceremonies he had attended, including his own Eagle Court of Honor.
Finally, it was 6 P.M., and the two elder alicorns had to go lower the sun and raise the moon, leaving Princess Cadance, Queen Chrysalis and Jeremy behind.
“Anyone else ready for dinner?” Jeremy asked, and both mares nodded.
Cadance looked at Chrysalis suspiciously. “You eat actual food?” she queried.
Chrysalis smirked. “I can, but I was thinking of a different kind…”
Springing forward, she tackled Jeremy to the ground, giggling as she inhaled the odd pink mist that supposedly represented his love for her. Princess Cadance looked on in shock, but Jeremy stood up, dusted himself off, and wrapped an arm around Chrysalis so she could stay balanced as he moved around.
“My suit,” he complained, trying to twist around to see if it was grass-stained.
Chrysalis laughed and lit up her horn. “All clean,” she explained a moment later, ceasing her magic.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “With you around, who needs washing machines?” he joked.
Princess Cadance had been watching the whole time, her initial expression fading to that of amusement.
“Does that… happen a lot?” she queried after a moment.
Jeremy chuckled. “Yeah, you could say that,” he answered, smirking at Chrysalis.
With that, the trio headed off to find a more physical source of food.
Heading back from dinner, Princess Cadance requested they follow her to the throne room, and Jeremy and Chrysalis nonchalantly did so. There they found Celestia and Twilight, deep in conversation.
“Sup, Sparkle?” Jeremy casually greeted once an appropriate break in the conversation was reached.
“Oh, hey Jeremy,” Twilight greeted.
“Princess Twilight is here to oversee the night court as preparation for her eventual royal duties… and also so Princess Luna can get her sleep before the wedding tomorrow,” Celestia explained by way of greeting.
Jeremy nodded in interest. “Have fun, then – I think I’ll go to bed soon myself,” he replied.
“Stop by Ethan’s cell first, it’s been a few days since he’s seen you,” Celestia reminded him, and he nodded, changing his direction towards the dungeon.
As he left, he heard Princess Cadance ask “Who’s Ethan?” and he cringed.
Ethan himself was laying in his cot, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hey,” Jeremy casually greeted.
“Sup,” Ethan returned.
“Do anything for Nightmare Night?” Jeremy asked curiously.
Ethan made a disparaged grunt. “Nah, they don’t let the prisoners participate. Plus, I was never one for costumes.”
They made small talk for a few minutes more, and Jeremy excused himself, heading back up through the portal to bed.
11-2-14, 11:42 A.M.
Jeremy attempted to scrub the tired out of his eyes as he walked back through the portal, tuxedo on and a nervous grin on his face. Today was the day he got serious, after all. Heading over to the royal cafeteria, he picked up lunch and set about mentally preparing himself for the next few hours.
Celestia came in not long afterwards, during her own lunch break.
“Good morning, Jeremy,” she called out, and abandoned her usual position at the head of the table to converse with him.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Jeremy asked, knowing he sounded slightly nervous.
“Absolutely fine, thank you,” Celestia answered. “Princess Twilight did excellently in night court – Luna’s considering requesting her presence for a few more,” she joked, and Jeremy laughed.
“How is Luna, by the way?” he asked. Celestia frowned in concern.
“She has not had to adjust her sleep schedule so drastically before, so… she’s taking it a bit hard.” True to form, Luna walked in, circles under her eyes to match Jeremy’s permanent ones and a generally haggard look to her. She brightened when she saw him, however, and made a beeline for Jeremy as well.
“Art thou ready?” she asked. Jeremy gave a single nod, before giving her a concerned once-over.
“What about you? You look like you could use more than a few pick-me-ups,” he commented.
Luna shook her head. “We shall be fine after a few cups of that distasteful ‘coffee’,” she declared, and trotted off to obtain some.
Laughing, Jeremy shook his head, and turned back to Celestia. “So, I get to become near-immortal today, huh? Not exactly the best body for it, but what can you do,” Jeremy remarked.
Celestia chuckled. “Believe me, your fitness is still something to worry about when you ascend like this – I made that mistake before, and paid the price.” Jeremy looked at her in confusion, and Celestia laughed. “Never mind. Just take care of your body, and it’ll take care of you.” Jeremy shrugged, and went back to eating his lunch.
A few hours later, everything was ready to go. The guests, the count of which easily numbered in the hundreds, filed into the massive space in the royal gardens, each taking a chair and talking excitedly. Chrysalis’ whole hive was seemingly in attendance, and chatting animatedly with the Canterlot guests – now that some time had passed, Jeremy supposed that international relations had gotten a whole lot better. Jeremy, Luna, Celestia and Chrysalis hung back in a separate section, hidden from the guests by a hedge. Jeremy looked over their attire: He was wearing his dark tuxedo and a light blue tie with white undershirt, Celestia and Luna were wearing their gowns from earlier, and Chrysalis had somehow managed to obtain a shimmering, translucent black dress with bright green stones woven into it.
Finally, it was time for Jeremy to take his place, and he slowly walked down the aisle, almost coming to a stop when he saw Ethan in a suit of his own. Jeremy considered what he had learned from Cadance, and discerned that Ethan was standing where the “best man” should be – this confused Jeremy greatly, but he wasn’t about to stop the wedding because of it. Jeremy also noticed that Twilight and her friends were in the front row seats, and ignored them, facing straight ahead as he walked forward. He took his place at the center of the stage, and waited with a patient smile, trying to hide his shaking nerves.
The procession went on, and the bridesmares appeared, taking their places in the wings of the center stage. The ring bearer solemly walked up the aisle, bearing a set of two boxes of ornate red-purple design and roughly equal size. Jeremy stared at the back of the aisles – it was time for the three brides to make their appearance.
Without hesitation, they did so, lined up and synchronized perfectly as they too made the journey down the aisle, lining up opposite him with impeccable choreography. Jeremy swallowed nervously – now came the vows. To his surprise, Cadance walked up the aisle, decorated in a formal dress of her own, and walked around to stand just behind them – Jeremy realized she had taken the position of master of ceremonies. She turned to the three mares, clearing her throat and adopting an official tone.
“Do you, Princess Luna of Equestria, take this human to be your lawfully wedded husband?” she asked.
“I do,” Luna replied, a hint of a smile gracing her face.
Cadance nodded once and proceeded to Celestia, asking the same and receiving the same confirmation.
Finally, she turned to Chrysalis, and began her final question of the mares. “Do you, Queen Chrysalis of the United Changeling Nation - ?” Before she could finish, there was a commotion at the back of the aisle.
Six changeling queens teleported onto the scene, decorated in every shade of the rainbow, and the skies filled so rapidly with changelings of every color except green Jeremy could have sworn Celestia had just lowered the sun.
“Hello, Queen Chrysalis,” one greeted, with a vibrant orange-red shell. She turned to Jeremy. “Hello, Savior.”
Chrysalis turned to face them, outraged. “What is the meaning of this?” she demanded.
The purple one, far bigger than the rest, smirked. “Oh, relax, High Queen. After all – how could we let our queen get married without paying homage?”
And with that, to the shock of everyone in the room, every single changeling landed and bowed as one, their multicolored rainbow of shells sparkling in the sunlight. With that, they took their places between the aisles and seats, quickly filling up the rest of the area. Too stunned to speak for a moment, Cadance turned back to Chrysalis before nervously clearing her throat.
“Where was I… oh, right. Do you, Queen Chrysalis of the United Changeling Nation, take this human to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Chrysalis looked once back at the other queens, all of whom were nodding furiously, and turned back to stare at Jeremy, a smirk on her face. “I do,” she answered calmly, and the hive queens burst into quickly stifled giggles.
Cadance looked over at them, an exasperated smile on her own face, and turned to Jeremy. “And do you, Jeremy, take these three mares to be your lawfully wedded wives?”
Jeremy looked at them, smiling – he’d waited so long for this. “I do,” he answered, mentally thanking whatever gods existed that his voice had remained steady.
Cadance turned to face the audience. “Then by the power invested in me, I hereby declare these four husband and wives!”
All four blushed slightly as the crowd cheered. Finally, when all had quieted down, the ringbearing mare stepped forward, boxes held out in a red aura of levitation.
Jeremy curiously watched as the two boxes were opened to reveal a set of four rings, three of which he picked out and held, examining them as the three mares each levitated the lone remaining ring, surrounded in a mix of yellow, blue and green aura. Stepping forward once more, he held out Celestia’s ring, easily distinguishable by the bright sunlit orange-yellow, faceted stone in the exact shape of her cutie mark and set onto a gold ring. Celestia bowed her head, and he slipped it onto her horn. Luna was next, her stone being of a deep midnight blue coloration and her crescent-moon shape set in a silver ring. Finally, Chrysalis’s ring was up, consisting of an interestingly simple design of a vitreous green heart outline with half filled in, set into a ring of curiously black metal – Jeremy would have to ask about the composition when he got the chance. He slipped it onto her horn, noting that it fit just above where a hole would have caused it to slide – Princess Cadance had clearly thought of everything.
Finally, it was the mares’ turn, and he held out his left hand. The ring was slipped onto his finger, and Jeremy took note of its design – a bright orange stone cabochon, by far the simplest of the four rings. It was set into a silver metal, though Jeremy didn’t know if it was actually precious or not. Whatever it was, it was heavy for its size, so Jeremy suspected it was something expensive. As soon as he had it on, his whole body flashed a brilliant white for a split second, before fading back down – Jeremy looked around in surprise. He supposed that was the immortality kicking in, although he didn’t feel any different. Cadance looked at the four of them, utmost satisfaction on her face as she uttered the final part of the ceremony.
“Groom, you may now kiss the brides,” she declared, and Jeremy gave Celestia a quick kiss on the lips, doing the same to Luna and Chrysalis.
Cadance turned back to the audience, and Jeremy noticed she was holding back tears. “To the fillies and gentlecolts gathered today, I present to you the newly wedded quartet!”
Fanfare sounded, and this time the applause was raucous and unrestrained. Even Twilight leaped out of her chair and danced with joy.
Chapter 51
A few hours later, the post-wedding party was still in full swing. The changeling queens from earlier were excitedly conversing with Chrysalis, and judging from the tone of their voices and the looks directed his way, Jeremy got the feeling it was all gossip. Currently, he was in a conversation with Twilight, who seemed shocked that her mentor was getting married but pleased as well. Cadance, who was also in the conversation along with Shining Armor, could no longer withhold her excitement, and was constantly smiling. When asked why, she gave an even wider smile, and replied “It’s just really great to see this happen.” Jeremy chuckled, and Celestia took advantage of the moment to use her horn to lift up his hand.
“Is this a fire opal, Cadance? I’m surprised – those are incredibly hard to find.”
Cadance flashed Celestia a smile. “Only the best, Auntie Celestia.” Jeremy was by now examining the ring as well.
“What’s the metal, anyway? Whatever it is, it’s heavy,” he noted.
Princess Cadance laughed knowingly. “Iridium,” she explained, and Jeremy’s eyes widened.
“Is that rare here?” he asked.
Luna nodded. “Tis’ only found in meteorites,” she explained, now examining his ring as well.
Jeremy took note of this, and gazed at his ring with a newfound appreciation. “Really, thanks,” he remarked to Cadance. “This must have been crazy expensive, after all.” Princess Cadance winked at him.
A few minutes after the conversation, Jeremy looked around for his three mares, all of whom seemed to be busy. Not that Jeremy minded – he had a surprise in store for them. Sidling up to a very familiar DJ, he introduced himself.
“Hey, nice wedding,” Vinyl greeted as she set up her station.
“Sup. Mind playing a special song for the opening?” Jeremy asked, taking out his MP3 player.
Vinyl levitated it over to examine it. “This one of your human music things?” Vinyl asked, and Jeremy laughed and nodded.
“Specifically, this song,” he said, pointing it out as she scrolled through, and she put in the headphones and listened to it.
“Sure, bro, just need to hook this up to the speakers – I’ll catch your eye when I’m ready,” Vinyl Scratch promised.
Jeremy whispered something else in her ear, and she laughed and nodded, pointing at a few buttons on her console as she whispered back. He dropped her a nod and sauntered away to get ready.
He had had the instrumental of the song specially made just a few days ago, and had managed to keep it a secret from his marefriends. It’d be worth it to see the looks on their faces – how many months had it been since they had shared a song together? He sipped a cup of water in preparation, then coughed like an idiot as he managed to swallow a bubble of air. After clearing his airway, he looked over at Vinyl, who was waving at him irritatedly. Jeremy gave her the thumbs up, and headed out to the stage in the center of the party area.
Youtube Video
The music started as soon as he stepped on, and everyone else looked over in consternation. Jeremy calmly waited, flashing a smile towards Luna in the crowd, who had been watching him with a joyous grin.
“I… tried to disappear, but you’re the only reason I’m floating here…” he began, and every single hive queen had now turned to look, Chrysalis sporting a prominent green blush.
“Eyes, painted crystal clear! I can see our future through the atmosphere!” he continued, and Princess Celestia turned away from Twilight to watch, confusion apparent on her face before her expression quickly turned to a delighted smile.
“So don’t, you go, no don’t you go, ‘cause don’t you know, I’m up here alone, yeah, I… am like a satellite, sending you a signal tonight!” Jeremy continued as the song rose to a crescendo, and he noticed Vinyl listening in attentively.
“Oh, oh, oh! Like a streak of light! Oh, oh, oh, watch the world fly by! Oh, oh, oh, rev your engine up! Everybody’s racing at the speed of love!”
With a gesture, he beckoned his three marefriends forward, and each trotted onto the stage as if in a dream. He pointed at each of them in turn for the next few lines, once again amazed at the odd spell that allowed perfect music here in Equestria.
Starting with Celestia, he looked her dead in the eyes. “You… were so hard to find, with oh so many clouds across my summer sky!”
Next, he turned to Luna. “You… my constellation prize, yeah, every single star is sparkling in your eyes!”
Finally, he turned to Chrysalis for the last part. “So don’t, you go, no don’t you go, ‘cause don’t you know, I’m up here alone, so high! Like a satellite, I’m sending you a signal tonight!” Another two repetitions of the chorus, and nearly every pony in the area was swaying their head to the beat.
The music crashed to the background beat, and Jeremy leveled his gaze at all three of them. “One track, one mind, one race to win, one start, one heart, one life to live!” he sang, taking off his ring and flipping it through the air for effect. Doing this again, he went back to the chorus for the final time before he gave another signal to Vinyl. Everyone looked over as she pressed a single button on the console, and as he sang the final chorus, her machine played a recording of him singing the opening lines in tandem, creating the interesting feeling for Jeremy of being in a duet with himself. At that, the music cut to silence, and all was still for a moment.
The silence was interrupted by the purple changeling queen using her massive hooves to pick up Chrysalis. “Queen Chrysalis… keep this one ,” she intoned, and Jeremy burst out laughing, breaking the tension and causing everyone else to laugh with relief as conversations resumed.
The purple changeling queen set Chrysalis down, and she dusted herself off before flying over to Jeremy. “What was that ? Mr. Socially Awkward shed his cocoon,” she teased.
Jeremy smirked. “What? Reminds me of my theater student days.”
Chrysalis gave him a look. “You? Theater ? You have the emotional range of a teaspoon,” she retorted.
Jeremy laughed. “Didn’t always used to be that way – I was quite the hothead back in the day,” he admitted. Chrysalis gave him a surprised stare, and Jeremy rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.
Celestia and Luna trotted up to him, faces flushed. “That was… quite something,” Celestia admitted, barely holding back a smile. Luna pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, only stopping when she heard a loud snap – every pony stopped and turned to stare.
“Oh, there’s my spine,” Jeremy said, rolling his eyes as he lifted her off the ground in a returned hug of his own. Luna laughed, and the guests went back to their partying.
Jeremy walked over to the hive queens, noting how well-fed and rested they looked.
“So, I never got your names,” he mentioned. The orange-red shelled changeling stepped forward.
“I am Queen Dionaea, of the Jungle Hive. The purple one is Queen Myocia of the Roaming Hive. The light blue one with the fins instead of wings is Queen Icthyos of the Shore Hive, whereas the darker blue one is Queen Ambysto of the Marsh Hive. Finally, the clear-shelled one is Queen Chroma of the Crystal Hive.”
Jeremy acknowledged the final queen as she gazed at him, her eyes an eerie milky gray – she’s blind, Jeremy realized.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Queen Chroma acknowledged.
“Likewise,” Jeremy politely responded, wondering if Princess Cadance had caught on that there was a changeling hive in or near her country yet.
Queen Myocia stomped up to him, her hooves easily twice the width of any other in the vicinity – Jeremy could feel the ground slightly shake every time she took a step. “So, this is our Savior. Puny, isn’t he?” she hissed mockingly, an intimidating glare appearing in her fuschia eyes.
To everyone’s surprise, Jeremy laughed – taunting was nothing new to a teenager. “You weren’t saying that when you gave Chrysalis back her crown,” he retorted, returning her glare with a cocky grin.
Queen Myocia stared at him for a moment in shock, then laughed uproariously. “Better and better!” she chortled. “Chrysalis, you’ve got yourself a true find – remind me to steal him from you sometime.”
Chrysalis smirked. “Get your own, Myocia.” Jeremy chuckled, leaving them to their banter after a moment of waiting.
Ethan was all alone in his own corner, and Jeremy approached him with an eyebrow already raised.
“Seems like you’d enjoy the time outside,” he remarked as he took a seat beside Ethan.
Ethan stared at him impassively. “I never was one for socializing,” Ethan remarked.
“Likewise,” Jeremy snorted, reclining back in his chair. “So, who made you best man?” he asked.
Ethan looked at him in surprise, his curly hair swinging around and catching Jeremy on the face. Jeremy blinked and spat a stray hair out, and Ethan gave him an apologetic look before continuing. “Cadance did, after hearing about how I messed up and’ve been trying to reform. She felt it would be a good thing to do, to show I’m okay with you marrying them or whatever.”
Jeremy nodded – sounded about right. “I wonder why she didn’t tell me,” he mused aloud.
“She said she didn’t have time, and told me to apologize to you for that.”
Jeremy shrugged. “S’cool.”
The changeling queens from earlier had apparently followed them, appearing out of the shadows all around the table.
“So, this is the one,” Dionaea greeted, staring at Ethan distastefully.
“How do humans look? Look good, that is,” Chroma commented, gazing at Ethan with an impassive expression.
“What, are you asking what we think is attractive in males?” Jeremy asked after a second of parsing this. Chroma nodded. “Well-defined muscles, angular lines on the face and chest, tan complexion, and a generally fit look,” Jeremy answered after some thought.
Myocia laughed. “So, neither of you fit the bill, then.”
Jeremy gave her a small smile. “Guess not. Then again, who cares about looks?”
Chrysalis laughed, and Dionaea looked at her. “Are all humans this altruistic?” she asked seriously, and Jeremy stifled a giggle, pretending to cough instead.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I wish – I think I just got lucky,” she muttered. Ethan grimaced.
With that, the queens left, minus Chroma, who had stayed behind for some reason. She looked at Jeremy. “Thanks,” she whispered, and Jeremy didn’t have to ask what she meant – he remembered all too well the deal he had made with her hive. He simply nodded, and Ethan looked at him curiously as he got up and gestured for Chroma to follow.
“What did happen to your hive?” Jeremy asked. He had never bothered to follow up on this before now, and now that Chroma was here he had the perfect opportunity. Queen Chroma, meanwhile, appeared to be distracted before answering, looking around her with a glare as they moved throughout the crowd, her mouth slightly open for some reason. Finally, she looked straight at him.
“I apologize – it’s hard to echolocate with all these moving ponies. To answer your question, we are receiving some attention, and after High Queen Chrysalis was kind enough to send us a love machine of our very own, we’ve been making some political progress. All thanks to you, I might add.” Jeremy shrugged, leading them over to a quieter corner of the party area. He took interest in her ability to echolocate – could other changelings develop that?
“Least I could do,” he answered, averting his sight from hers – those unfalteringly open gray eyes were starting to unnerve him. Chroma looked at him for a while.
“…Does it bother you that I’m blind?” she bluntly asked. Taken by surprise, Jeremy looked over at her to find her still staring straight at his face.
“No, it’s not that, it’s just – you never blink. It’s rather unsettling to have someone stare at you like that… But if you can’t control it, that’s fine, I can live with that,” he hastily amended. Queen Chroma smirked at him.
“I don’t blink because I don’t have to – and that intimidation you mentioned is quite useful in the courts.” Jeremy laughed, imagining Chroma in a staring contest over some political scuffle. Getting up, Chroma opened her transparent wings. “It seems my hive has managed to intoxicate themselves,” she remarked, as though this were a trivial occurrence. “The conversation was nice. Goodbye.” With that, she flew over to the drinks table, where at least four clear-shelled changelings were gorging themselves on the wine.
Jeremy caught up with Princess Cadance a few minutes afterward.
“Hey, you do know Queen Chroma’s from your area, right?” he asked.
To his surprise, Cadance nodded. “We found out just a few months ago. Relations were… rocky at first, but I think we’ve got a good compromise going – modeled after your original one, in fact.”
Jeremy nodded appreciatively. “Okay, good, just making sure.”
Cadance shifted uncomfortably. “Queen Chroma is… rather odd in negotiations, I must admit.”
Jeremy chuckled. “The stare got to you too?”
Princess Cadance laughed nervously. “Yeah, it’s creepy how she can do that. Still, she’s actually quite friendly.”
Jeremy nodded, grabbing a glass of fruit punch as he took a moment to relax.
11-2-14, 11:57 P.M.
Finally, the party was over, and the guests slowly filed out. The changeling hives departed, a dark cloud blotting out the stars as they headed for their own faraway hives. Finally, after the very last guest had left, it was just Jeremy, Princess Cadance, Twilight, Luna, Celestia, Chrysalis, and Ethan.
“Best day of my life,” Jeremy sighed.
“Well, that just means we have to try harder,” Chrysalis responded, and Luna laughed.
Celestia remained silent, only giving a tired smile. Noticing this, Jeremy looked over. “Looks like we should head to bed,” he commented, and everyone agreed. Twilight gave her former mentor one last nuzzle, and teleported off to join her friends.
After safely locking Ethan in the dungeon once more and saying goodbye to Cadance, Jeremy and company adjourned to Celestia’s room.
“No night shift?” Jeremy asked Luna as they climbed the stairs.
“After a wedding? Hardly,” Luna grunted. They found Celestia’s bed, once again magically expanded and looking as though it had been freshly made. The three mares took off their rings and placed them on the bedside drawer, and Jeremy did the same. He found his pajamas from the dorm neatly folded on the bed, and began taking off his suit.
“Where do I put this?” he asked, and Celestia lazily lit her horn to vanish it off of him.
“It’s now hung up in your closet back home,” she informed him, and Jeremy gave her a grateful smile.
“What would I do without you three?” he asked.
“A lot of walking,” Luna answered, and Jeremy laughed as he crawled into bed with them, stretching his tired arms around all three.
Chapter 52
11-3-14, 7:00 A.M.
Unfortunately, it was a school morning, so Jeremy had to get up early. As his alarm went off, he quickly silenced it, and looked over at his three mares – Chrysalis’ ear twitched, but apart from that they hadn’t stirred. Celestia should’ve probably raised the sun by now, and Jeremy debated waking her – after all, surely the populace must be wondering why it was still night if Celestia usually kept to a strict 6-and-6 schedule for movement of the sun and moon? Smoothing his rumpled pajamas, he ventured out into the castle hallways to see if any guards were awake to give notice. Just as he stepped out the door, an orange twinkle caught his eye – oh yeah, his ring. It was sitting on the dresser drawer with the other three, and Jeremy briefly debated putting it on. He decided against it, and turned back towards the corridor – if he did wear it, he’d have to invent an alibi for any curious human out at campus.
His fears about the daily schedule were alleviated when he saw the day guards conducting business as usual.
“Hello, sir. Where is Princess Celestia?” one asked.
“Asleep,” Jeremy replied with a grin. “I decided to let her be – last night was exhausting on all of us.”
The guard wisely nodded, and went down the corridor in the opposite direction – whether to wake up Celestia anyway or leave her be, Jeremy didn’t know.
He slipped into his room, hoping that his roommate was either still asleep or already gone – to his partial dismay, he was still asleep. Quietly, so as not to disturb him, Jeremy got dressed, picked up his backpack and left.
Classes were as boring as ever – the only interesting event was his receiving a less-than-satisfactory score on a homework assignment. All throughout the day, however, he couldn’t stop repeating the mantra: He was married. As such, there was an unusual energy in his step, and he even smiled and dropped a nod for the military guards who were making their presence on campus well-known.
By the time he got back, Ethan was awake and eating, though he didn’t appear to enjoy the vegetarian cuisine.
“So, now what?” Ethan asked, as Jeremy leaned against a wall for rest – it had been quite a long walk.
“Well, now that I’m married… All that’s left to do is sort out that militant group,” Jeremy responded thoughtfully.
Ethan smirked. “And then, everyone lived happily ever after.”
Jeremy chuckled, and left him to his meal.
Celestia was once again overseeing day court, and Jeremy greeted her with a much more enthusiastic wave than normal – then again, that wasn’t saying much. Celestia smiled back before continuing her business, and Jeremy continued up the stairs to Celestia’s bedroom.
Inside he found Luna, still asleep, with Chrysalis nowhere to be found. Apparently, Luna was sleeping for an extra-long time in order to properly run tonight’s court – Jeremy was mildly impressed that she had slept for over 18 hours already. It occurred to Jeremy that Luna would probably want to wake up in her own bed, so he gently picked her up and made to leave. As he looked down at her sleeping form, he was reminded of the very first time they had met – although both had been covered in blood and sweat that time, it didn’t make the memory any less striking. Luna kicked a little as she shifted around in his embrace, and Jeremy smiled, gazing down at her in adoration as he reached out to open her room.
Entering, he was once again reminded that Luna didn’t keep her room nearly as clean as Celestia, instead preferring to clutter the place with all manner of books, papers and equipment. Tiptoeing around a stack of books that looked a few hundred years old, he gently laid Luna down on her own bed, tucking her in. Before he left, he wrote a quick note to make sure she knew he had moved her, and planted a kiss on her forehead. Jeremy softly closed the door, and headed out into the already wintry Canterlot day.
His office fared no better than Luna’s room, the worktables as cluttered as ever with half-finished models and improvements. Having nothing better to do, Jeremy messed around with them for a few hours, losing track of time as he soldered, programmed, and tested. A few hours later, he was tired but satisfied, and placed the finished devices on an as-of-yet unoccupied table.
Venturing into the hive, he was pleased to see that it was as lively as ever – no tickle attacks in sight. Changelings were even friendlier than usual, trotting up to him to nuzzle him as soon as he was spotted. Jeremy returned this with an embarrassed grin – did his marriage make all these changelings technically his kids now? Heading up to the rhythmically pulsing green globe that housed the nursery, he wasn’t surprised to find Chrysalis doing some caretaking of her own, letting the adorably tiny baby changelings play with her hair and gently hissing a lullaby. Taking a seat beside her, Jeremy picked a wriggler up and placed it in his lap, where it promptly latched onto his finger. Its fangs were too nubby to pierce his skin yet, so Jeremy simply felt like he was being pinched as the baby changeling fed off of his love. After a moment, Chrysalis looked over, and smiled as she picked up the changeling with her magic.
“Enough, little one – you’ve had your fill for today,” she scolded gently, and the wriggler grumbled something in their language as it slinked off.
Jeremy watched it go with a smile. “As adorable as ever, aren’t they?” he mused aloud.
Chrysalis smirked. “Now, if they’d stop biting strangers…”
Jeremy laughed. “So, am I all these changelings’ father-in-law now?” he asked.
Chrysalis waved a hoof in uncertainty. “…If that’s how you want to look at it, then sure,” she finally answered.
Jeremy shrugged. “Works for me,” he replied, and went back to watching the rest of the babies.
There was a spurt of green fire, and one transformed into a miniature of Chrysalis herself. Jeremy gave Chrysalis a surprised look, and she levitated over the changeling in question, nuzzling it and giving it a gentle nip with her fangs. “Look at you, transforming already! You’ll make a fine addition to the hive,” she cooed. Jeremy looked on in amusement.
From there, the conversation quickly turned to the usual small talk.
“So, I noticed you’ve stopped coughing so much,” Chrysalis commented.
Jeremy smirked. “Got medication for it – apparently the different pollens of Ohio or something got to me.”
Chrysalis chuckled. “I’m just wondering when you’re going to come down with one of our diseases,” she replied.
Jeremy chuckled, and shrugged. Then he considered this. “Judging by what’s happened in the past when a disease moved from one species to another, that’s probably actually something to be worried about. Hmm, I’ll bring it up later,” he decided.
Chrysalis hummed thoughtfully as a stray changeling hung onto her hair with its teeth. “Say, do you feel like going out for dinner?” she asked casually, standing up and using her magic to gently lower the baby changeling to the floor.
“Sounds good, where to?” Jeremy replied, standing up as well.
Chrysalis thought for a brief moment, then smiled. “How about the sandwich place on the other side of campus? If I remember right, the milkshakes were delicious.”
Jeremy smiled and nodded. “Sounds good, let’s go,” he declared, and the two exited the hive.
Hours later, they walked back through the portal, laughing nonchalantly as Chrysalis levitated along her shake.
“Did you really have to buy two?” Jeremy asked, still chuckling.
“One wasn’t enough!” Chrysalis retorted, and reluctantly set the drink down.
While Chrysalis left to quickly attend to her queenly duties, Jeremy took a moment to take care of his homework, which had unfortunately piled up quite a bit. By the time she came back, he was engrossed in physics, and hardly looked up as she approached.
“An entire alien planet to explore and visit, and you’re doing homework,” Chrysalis mocked. It was an often-shared joke between them, and Jeremy chuckled.
“My GPA isn’t going to go up by itself, you know,” he replied as usual.
Chrysalis took a seat beside him, and Jeremy began to explain what he was doing. It was oddly helpful to talk to someone while working, he had learned.
Half an hour later, a burly changeling walked into Chrysalis’ room. “Yes?” Chrysalis asked, business-like as ever when it came to her job as queen.
“Thought Jeremy would want to see this,” the drone grunted.
Curious, Jeremy walked outside, and looked around. The forest was as dark as ever, and nothing remotely interesting was in sight. The drone pointed up, snickering, and Jeremy followed its hoof, promptly blushing to the roots of his coppery hair. In the night sky, Luna had rearranged a few stars into a heart shape, and made these bright enough to be noticeable compared to the rest of the stars – no one who looked up at night could miss them.
“…Really ?” Jeremy said, laughing in embarrassment. He was delighted, sure – but it was just so cliché.
He stood there for a moment, surveying the newly formed constellation, and was reminded that he hadn’t visited his other mares all day.
“It would appear Luna’s calling my name,” he jokingly remarked to Chrysalis, who had also come out to see what had happened.
She smirked. “Well, at least she’s not writing “Jeremy + Luna forever,” Chrysalis replied to his earlier thought.
Jeremy laughed. “I ship it,” he joked as he headed back to the portal.
The two princesses were waiting in the throne room, a smirk on Luna’s face. The throne itself had since been duplicated to accommodate Princess Luna's presence as well, the second massive chair placed right next to the first. “Didst thou take a look at the night sky?” Luna queried, an indulgent grin on her face.
Jeremy rolled his eyes, grinning. “For a thousand year old princess, you can be such a teenager sometimes,” he teased. Luna laughed, and Celestia stepped off her throne daintily, walking over to him. “Seriously, though – you two amaze me with how childlike you can act. Not that I’m complaining, it’s all kinds of fun, but aren’t you two supposed to be super mature or something?” Jeremy asked, half-serious.
Celestia smiled. “It’s not often we get to have fun like that – as you’re quite aware.” She motioned for him to follow, and he curiously did so, waving to Luna as they exited.
They wandered aimlessly through the gardens, discussing the statues and sculptures within. Finally, they reached a pause in the conversation, gazing up at Luna’s sky. “Hate to bring up a less pleasant subject, but any luck on figuring out a nonviolent way of getting rid of our unwanted friends?” Jeremy asked.
Princess Celestia frowned. “Unfortunately, no… It’s actually quite the political problem. I’m tempted to just reveal my true form to them and threaten them with incineration until they desisted, but we all know how that would end. Any news from Mary?” Jeremy shook his head, and they continued onwards.
Finally, to Jeremy’s surprise, they took a right turn and ended up back at the start, in front of the palace doors.
“That really is a maze, isn’t it?” Jeremy pondered, looking back at the hedges and trying to figure out where they had been.
Celestia stifled a giggle. “It’s helpful when we feel like getting away from things for a while – the pegasus guards have learned not to bother us when we’re out here.”
Jeremy smirked. “Wonder how many sudden teleportations that took them.” Celestia gave an amused snort of laughter, and they entered the throne room.
Jeremy took a seat by Luna as Celestia retired to bed upstairs.
“So, how’s business going?” he asked casually.
“Slow,” Luna answered, clearly bored. She looked over at him, sitting on the floor of the raised platform the thrones were on, and raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t thou be sitting next to us?”
Jeremy looked over. “What, you mean in Celestia’s throne? No way, that’s hers,” he answered confusedly.
Luna sighed. “Jeremy, it is a seat. It was meant to be sat upon.” She pointed a hoof at the throne beside her, and Jeremy cautiously got up and took a seat on Celestia’s throne. Unsurprisingly, it was extraordinarily comfortable – after all, Celestia was perched on this thing for hours on end. He looked down at the throne, half expecting it to burst into flames. “What didst thou think she was going to do to you?” Luna teased.
“Well, I was partially worried about that kind of thing, but mostly this just feels weird. Like I’m suddenly royalty, and now I have to pass judgements on the citizens from on high or something.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “We promise to take care of that… if it ever occurs tonight,” she grumbled. Jeremy chuckled, leaning back into the throne.
A few minutes later, Luna called over a royal night guard, and gave him a meaningful glance. The guard saluted and left, returning a few moments later with a stack of paperwork. Luna lifted the whole pile up to her eye level, gazing at the first paper with a practiced eye.
“Proposals,” she explained at Jeremy’s questioning gaze.
“Mind if I help?” he asked, and she perked up.
“Please do, we could use the assistance.” Jeremy accepted the bottom half of the paper stack, and began flicking through them.
“So, what’s the administrative process for this?” he asked. “Do these already have prior approval from somepony else, or are they freshly submitted?”
Luna used her magic to crumple up one particular page into a ball before answering. “Most are pre-sorted by a team of royal advisors, however, the ones submitted by royalty come straight to us. Unfortunately, the royalty often submit the most ridiculous proposals – we have been trying to convince our sister to change the policy so that they too have to obtain prior approval.” Jeremy grimaced.
“I’m guessing she says no because they’d put up a ruckus if the law was passed?” Luna nodded. He sighed, and went back to his stack of papers, setting some of the more amusing ones aside for later enjoyment.
Hours later, Jeremy finished his pile and stood up. “I better get to bed, I have classes starting at ten tomorrow,” he reminded her.
“Of course – and we thank thee for the assistance,” answered Luna. Jeremy nodded once, and headed for the portal to his home universe.
Chapter 53
11-21-14, 2:14 P.M.
To Jeremy’s delight and Mary’s consternation, nothing had happened since the incident with the sniper. Jeremy was quite grateful for the reprieve, allowing him to study for tests – Hell Week lived up to its name in every respect minus the fire and pitchforks. In addition, he was looking forward to Thanksgiving – one of the few popular Earth holidays that had no Equestrian equivalent. He had explained what it was before he had come to college, after Celestia had asked him to list all the most common holidays when they were still discussing the differences between their universes.
Relaxing on his bed and savoring the upcoming weekend, he took out a book he had read many times before – he was sorely tempted to bring Equestrian books through the portal for reading, but he had the distinct feeling his roommate might raise an eyebrow if they caught him reading 'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone'. Ah well.
After a few more hours of no communication from anyone important, Jeremy closed his laptop, brushed his teeth and hopped into bed. Laying there, he could’ve sworn he saw lights moving outside his window, and sat upright only to find an errant car driving through the winter streets. Sighing, Jeremy flopped back down onto his pillow and slowly drifted off.
11-22-14, 5:17 P.M.
The day so far had been uneventful – a few hours spent on gaming and drawing. That was just the way Jeremy liked it on a Saturday, after all – relaxation like this was a rare commodity in college life. Of course, it was about to be a lot more common – he did have a short Thanksgiving break, after all.
After a few more hours of relaxing, he was surprised to notice a message from Luna pop up on the corner of the screen. “Dinner?” it read, and Jeremy smirked – he hadn’t known Luna would be up this early, and wasn’t it technically breakfast for her? Almost as soon as he finished reading, the closet door opened and a pair of starkly white hands covered his eyes.
“Guess who?” a familiar voice trilled.
Jeremy laughed. “Is it… could that be Chrysalis’ voice I hear?” he teased. Luna took her hands off of his face and placed them on her hips as he turned around in his chair.
“So, didst thou get our message?” she queried, as Jeremy stood up and stretched.
“Yeah, where to?” he asked. Luna thought for a moment.
“We think the dining hall wouldst be appropriate – nothing too special, yes?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Whatever works,” he answered, standing up and closing his laptop.
“Tis’ so much larger than thy high school’s,” Luna remarked as they entered.
Jeremy laughed. “Considering how many people live on campus? It’d need to be.” They got their respective meals and headed over to an empty table.
“So, dost thou have anything to do today?” Luna asked. Jeremy shook his head, and Luna smiled in anticipation. “Wouldst thou like to join us for the night once more?” she continued, and Jeremy gave it some brief thought before nodding. “Excellent,” Luna exclaimed, clapping her hands together with glee.
They finished their meals and headed through the portal, guards stopping to salute Luna as she passed by. Luna nodded at Celestia as they passed by, and she nodded back, smiling at some unseen cue. To Jeremy’s surprise, they exited the castle, and Luna raised her head to stare at the daytime sky. Seemingly of its own accord, the sun sped down from its position up above, and Luna lit up her horn so that the moon could take its place. Jeremy watched, still amazed by the speed and grace with which the massive planetoid rose into the newly darkened sky. As it reached the apex of its ascent, it stopped, with no forewarning or deceleration – something which must have taken the practice of a thousand years, he thought to himself. “Hmm, perhaps a little to the left,” mused Luna. And just like that, she adjusted its position ever so slightly – if Jeremy hadn’t been referencing the nearest stars as he watched, he wouldn’t have been able to tell it had moved. “Much better,” Luna announced, once again setting off. Jeremy was tempted to examine the night sky some more, but reluctantly followed.
They stopped at the edge of the Canterlot cliff, looking down upon the rest of Equestria.
“We always wonder how this will look in time – when decades, centuries, perhaps millennia pass,” Luna commented, gazing fondly at the still-lit Manehattan. Jeremy smiled.
“You never know what small thing might make this place look completely different, huh?” he answered, recalling his lessons on materials science and history.
“Well, one thing never changes, at least…” Luna remarked, and a second later they teleported.
A millisecond later, they arrived in the still-busy streets of Manehattan, other ponies shying away in shock or giving a nervous bow before continuing on their way. Jeremy looked around in amusement, and Luna gave a regal smile to the watching passersby. “This place is still the City that Never Sleeps,” she finished her earlier comment, and Jeremy laughed. He cast his gaze around to find that they were in a miniature equivalent of Times Square, complete with magical screens and billboards advertising the latest theatre and market developments. He’d never actually been to the ‘real’ Times Square, but he’d seen plenty of pictures and videos. Luna, noticing his renewed fascination, politely waited for him to finish looking around before directing his attention to the nearest Bridleway theatre. On it, an unfamiliar title was depicted, featuring a mare in a 1950’s-era dress against a countryside backdrop.
“What’s it about?” Jeremy wondered aloud.
Luna shrugged. “Let us go and see,” she answered, and trotted off towards the ticket stand, Jeremy casually following.
A few minutes later, they were sitting in the top box, Jeremy flicking through the program pamphlet while Luna merely waited for the show to start. The lights dimmed, and Jeremy stopped reading in order to look at the stage.
“I can’t believe her friend didn’t betray her out of jealousy,” Jeremy mentioned as they joined the exiting crowds.
“And the stallion’s son being the murderer all along was more believable?” Luna retorted with a laugh as they crossed the street.
Jeremy smirked in reply as they headed off to another part of the city, brightly lit storefronts making them cast long shadows.
An hour had passed, and already Jeremy had forgotten any notion of sleep as he perused yet another store window.
“Art thou going to buy anything at any point?” Luna chided, looking at him with a mixture of exasperation and amusement.
“Probably not, but this is fascinating,” Jeremy answered, tearing his eyes away from the store.
Luna finally managed to get him away from the storefronts long enough to teleport them somewhere else – this time, it appeared to be a series of caves.
“This is a popular tourist spot,” Luna announced as she led him inside.
“…Why?” Jeremy asked as he followed. It was a pretty ordinary cave, and he couldn’t make out much.
Luna lit up her horn to reveal a single wooden door, which she opened. Inside this section of the cave, lichen glowed with blue-green bioluminescence as a glowing pool bubbled below, its depth obscured by the coloration of the churning water.
“Tis’ a natural hot spring – the official, paying attractions are nearby, but we thought thou might enjoy the privacy.” Jeremy nodded.
“This is… amazing. What is this place called?”
Luna smiled. “To the tourists, it is referred to as ‘the Cauldron Caves’. Apt, is it not?”
Jeremy chuckled. “Too bad I didn’t bring my bathing suit.”
Luna rolled her eyes, and a flash of light later Jeremy’s clothes were on the floor next to the pool. Sighing at the all-too-familiar occurrence, Jeremy stepped into the pool, immediately relaxing as bubbles surged around him.
“So, is there a volcano nearby?” he asked.
“A magma vent, so not quite,” Luna answered. “There is also a lake near to here, giving rise to this particular series of heated pools. The color is from bacteria, none of which are harmful.” Jeremy nodded appreciatively, and spent a few moments staring at the glowing green moss that surrounded them.
“Truth be told, this is not the pool we had in mind – there used to be an easier path to it…” Luna commented, looking around.
“Would it be possible to teleport?” Jeremy wondered.
Luna shook her head. “If we were to try, and end up in a location that was already occupied by rock… the results would be unpleasant, to say the least.” Jeremy grimaced – so that was a legitimate danger, then. Luna looked around, then down, and finally brightened. “Not to worry,” she announced. “There is an underwater passage to the correct pool – only a short distance. Art thou up for some diving?” she asked. Jeremy was apprehensive, but nodded. With that, Luna gracefully dived in, and Jeremy followed, submerging and slowly opening his eyes.
The whole pool was coated under the surface with lichen and moss, and was worn smooth from thousands of years of age. At the very bottom, maybe fourteen feet down, Jeremy spotted the opening Luna was talking about as she swam through it, using her wings instead of her hooves to propel herself forward. Smiling, he surfaced to take a deeper breath before following, wincing at the water pressure.
They came up to a sight that Jeremy could only describe as breathtaking – it was like a bigger version of the other pool, complete with a small opening in the roof of the cave to allow the moonlight to shine through. The pools were even different colors – mostly shades of blue and green.
“This is… whoa…” Jeremy breathed.
Luna smiled. “Thou can see why we do not share this location with many others,” she remarked, and he nodded.
She shook out her wet hair, and he laughed at the adorable sight. With that, they settled into the center pool, by far the largest and shallowest, colored in a shade of teal that reminded Jeremy of Chrysalis’ carapace.
“You must know all the best vacation spots,” he joked a moment later. Luna smiled.
“There used to be more – but being away for a thousand years tends to change things…” Jeremy frowned. “But enough about us, what about thou? Dost thou know of any good locations for this winter, perhaps?” Luna asked.
Jeremy thought for a while. “Well, typically we’d go someplace warm for the winter. Usually Mexico, or something like that.” Luna nodded.
“Celestia told us of thy trip to Mexico – she said it was quite enjoyable.”
Jeremy smiled in return, fondly recalling the memories. “Anyway, I think just being home for the winter would be vacation enough – from Ohio weather, at least.” Luna chuckled appreciatively, and they went back to staring up at the ceiling, Jeremy mesmerized by the shifting glow as the light from the moss reflected off the stone.
Finally, they headed back to the familiarity of Canterlot, Luna having used a spell to dry him off.
“So, the night is still young,” Luna joked. “Is there anything else thou can think of to do?” Jeremy thought about this.
“See a movie back home?” he wondered. “That tends to be the gold standard for dates…” Luna frowned.
“We do not think that would be… appropriate, given the circumstances on Earth currently. Teleporting to a movie theater would most likely cause undue alarm to Mary and her team, not to mention the others.” Jeremy grimaced, considering this.
“We could always stream a movie at home, I do have an account,” he reminded her. Luna brightened.
“Of course! Then it is decided – we shalt watch movies!” she declared, striking a royal pose. Jeremy burst out laughing.
Unfortunately, Jeremy’s dormmate was asleep by now, so he quietly stepped through the portal and grabbed his laptop, along with the charger and mouse. Luna was waiting in anticipation on the other side, and they traipsed up the flights of stairs to her room. Jeremy set up the computer on the bed, shoving the pillows aside to make better room before logging in and attempting to open the Internet.
“Ugh, the wifi’s bad enough at the dorm,” he complained, trying to think of ways to troubleshoot this. Luna’s horn lit up, and a second later the connectivity increased to full strength. Jeremy gaped at her, openmouthed. “…When’d you learn to do that ?” he exclaimed in wonder.
Luna laughed. “Tis’ a simple spell to amplify radio waves. Now, about that movie…” She snuggled up on the bed next to him as he successfully connected and began browsing the movie database.
“Hmm… How about this one?” he asked jokingly. Luna glanced at Twilight’s face on the cover art, before looking at him with an unamused smirk.
“Too… ‘meta’,” she replied, and he chuckled before scrolling down some more. “Ooh, that one,” Luna asked, pointing it out.
“…Okay,” Jeremy answered after some hesitation, selecting the movie and waiting for it to load.
Midway through the movie, they were cuddling together, half asleep.
“Does this really pass for ‘magic’ in thy world?” Luna asked, sounding amused.
“Yeah…” he sleepily answered.
She giggled as bright bursts of light and sound emanated from the screen. “And it requires a ‘wand’… Perhaps we should obtain one for thee,” she remarked, ending her comment with a yawn.
Jeremy fought back laughter. “Believe me, I tried when I was a kid. Didn’t work too well,” he answered. Luna chuckled, and Jeremy went back to watching the movie.
By the time they finished, it was well past midnight.
“I’d better get to bed,” Jeremy said, yawning. He made to get up, but a blue force pushed him back down as Luna wrapped her hooves tightly around him.
“Stay with us,” Luna pleaded. Jeremy looked down at her. He could never say ‘no’ to that face.
“Oh, alright,” he said, lying back down and replacing the blanket covers.
Luna hummed appreciatively, snuggling into his shoulder as they lay there. Jeremy placed an arm around her, adjusting his position so as to not hurt her wings, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 54
11-23-14, 11:47 A.M.
Jeremy woke up to see nothing but shades of midnight blue and far-off stars. It took him a solid five minutes to realize that he was currently staring into the arcane depths of Luna’s hair, and he pushed it off to find that sunlight was streaming through her room. Luna herself had fallen asleep some time ago, and her hair was everywhere as she gently breathed into her pillow. Smiling, he quietly got dressed and exited the room. Once outside, he immediately bumped into Celestia, looking oddly stern.
“Good morning, Celestia. How’s it going?” he asked, noting her look and wondering what it was about. She surveyed him with a seemingly annoyed eye.
“How come I don’t get a dinner date?” she wondered aloud. Jeremy nearly choked as she burst into laughter.
“D-don’t scare me like that!” he finally managed to get out.
Unfortunately, this only made Celestia laugh harder, while Jeremy adopted a petulant frown. After a moment, she calmed down enough to continue.
“So, how about it? I do have a day off, after all…” Jeremy raised an eyebrow as she led him through the palace.
“A day off? How often does that occur?”
Celestia briefly considered. “Hmm… Perhaps once every month or so? Sometimes I forget to take it,” she answered.
Jeremy smirked. “Sounds good to me, what did you have in mind?”
Princess Celestia shrugged. “I did like the beach back on Earth – perhaps we could do something similar?”
Jeremy gave her a quizzical look. “Isn’t Equestrian weather regulated to be the same everywhere?” he responded, gesturing to the snow and clouds.
Celestia chuckled. “It’s a bit more complex than that… but you have the general principle right. However, we do leave some parts of Equestria uncontrolled.”
After a moment, Jeremy accepted this, and shrugged. “At least let me get my bathing suit this time…”
Celestia giggled as he headed back through the portal to change into the necessary clothing and grab a towel, as well as empty out his backpack for the day. “You humans and your clothing stipulations – honestly, who wears clothing underwater?” Celestia teased.
A flash of light later, and they were standing on a brilliantly white beach, the sun shining overhead as though winter was already a distant memory. Jeremy looked around in surprise, feeling the instant temperature difference.
“Where are we?” he asked.
“The very edge of the San Palomino Desert. Just like your Mexico, it’s near the equator of our planet, and there is little need to regulate the weather here due to low population density,” Celestia informed him.
Jeremy nodded appreciatively, surveying the area with a hand to his forehead to keep out the bright sun. Behind them, a massive mountain could be seen amidst a dune-covered desert. To his right, he could spy greener hills, as well as clouds – which, in Equestria, probably meant a city. Finally, he gazed out towards the open ocean – nothing much to see there beyond the moderate waves.
A few minutes later, they were in the water, splashing each other and laughing as the cool waves provided shelter from the hot sun.
“It’s too bad we didn’t bring surfboards,” Celestia commented.
“Who needs a surfboard?” Jeremy responded indignantly.
Positioning himself as though he were about to take a dive, he waited until just before a wave hit before springing forward, aligning his body so that he rode the wave all the way back to shore. Getting up, he could just make out Celestia’s surprised expression where they had been just a few seconds ago. He swam back to her, and she regarded him with a delighted expression.
“Where did you learn to do that ?” she asked.
“My dad taught me – it was a favorite beach activity of ours,” Jeremy answered.
A part of him twinged uncomfortably at the mention of his parents, but he managed to ignore it. However, it appeared Celestia had noticed.
“…Could you teach me?” she asked a moment later.
Jeremy surveyed her with an amused look. “Hmm. Might have to modify the technique a bit, considering your body type…”
11-23-14, 2:00 P.M.
It took a few tries, but in the end Celestia got it – spreading her wings really helped, and Jeremy watched as she appeared to be gliding on top of the wave.
“That is… far too fun,” she declared, getting up after the most recent attempt and shaking the water off. Jeremy laughed, toweling himself off before changing back into his day clothes.
“So, where to for lunch?” he asked, feeling his stomach rumble.
“Los Pegasus is nearby… perhaps we could stop there?” Celestia offered.
Jeremy gave an interested nod, and they teleported once again, this time arriving in the middle of a crowded street. Jeremy recalled the similar occurrence with Luna, and smiled as the passersby had the exact same reactions – either shying away in surprise or nervous bowing. Celestia merely smiled at her subjects for a moment before setting off down the street, Jeremy once again following.
They stopped in at a fast food place, much to Jeremy’s surprise.
“Is it odd to say that I was expecting a restaurant?” he quipped as he walked in with her.
Celestia smirked at him. “Everypony acts so surprised that I visit food places that aren’t “high society” – honestly, it’s food . As long as it’s delicious, I don’t care how it’s prepared or served.” Jeremy looked at her for a moment before grinning.
After they ate and paid, they once again began traversing the streets of Los Pegasus – which, Jeremy noted, had quite a different atmosphere compared to Manehattan. Where Manehattan had been bursting with shops and other more suburban architecture, Los Pegasus was more about entertainment – yet another corollary between worlds, Jeremy supposed. Casinos and arcades were everywhere, and while Celestia frowned at the more hardcore gamblers, she seemingly enjoyed watching the more lighthearted institutions.
“So, where would you like to go next?” Celestia asked.
Jeremy briefly considered as he looked off in the distance, his eye caught by the nearby mountain. Following his gaze, Celestia smiled, and a moment later they were on the very top of the mountain. Shocked by the temperature change once more, Jeremy drew his arms around himself and began shivering.
“I c-changed my mind, this was a terrible idea,” he managed to get out, and Celestia looked at him in amusement before lighting her horn.
A second later, the numbing chill in Jeremy’s body dissipated, and he looked at her in confusion.
“A warming spell,” Celestia explained, looking at him and stifling a chuckle as he adjusted to his new conditions.
“If this keeps up, my skin cells will go into shock from rapid temperature change,” Jeremy joked as he watched snow melting on his skin with fascination.
“What did you even plan to do here, anyway?” Celestia asked curiously, looking around as though she expected to find some sort of obvious entertainment.
Jeremy laughed. “I was just thinking about all the other vacations I’ve been on, and was reminded of the times I went skiing.”
Celestia nodded in understanding, and walked over to a nearby tree. Jeremy watched in interest as she stripped two slabs of bark off using magic, and drew some of the resin out of the tree before changing this into wax. Once this was applied to the underside of the newly formed skis, she gestured for him to step on, and he did so curiously, finding that after yet another spell the skis would not come off.
“Nice innovation,” Jeremy commented, appraising the wooden slabs.
“What about you, are you going to ski as well?” he asked, wondering just how she would accomplish such a thing.
Celestia laughed. “No, I have a better idea. Race you to the bottom!” she cried as she sprang into the air and sped away. Jeremy immediately gave chase, laughing as he accelerated dangerously down the snow.
A few minutes later, they were racing down the mountain, Celestia matching his speed through clever use of her wings and the roaring winds that accompanied the mountainous terrain. Jeremy, meanwhile, was concentrating on not hitting trees – this route had a relatively level slope for a mountain, but did not feature any cleared paths. Unfortunately, he had lost sight of Celestia some time ago – perhaps she was waiting for him at the bottom.
Jeremy arrived at what he estimated was three-quarters of the way down the mountain to find that he could not progress further – it was too warm for any snow here. Curiously, Celestia was nowhere in sight.
“…Celestia?” he called to the open sky, hoping something hadn’t happened. A second later, he received a torrential flood of emotion from his mental link, and Celestia promptly teleported in front of him and tackled him to the ground, hugging him tightly.
“Where were you? I thought something had happened!” she exclaimed, not letting go for a second. Jeremy attempted to obtain enough oxygen to reply.
“I thought we were racing – did you lose me?” he asked. Celestia nodded, standing up and looking at him with worry and concern etched across her face.
“After you disappeared into the trees, I thought I heard you crash somewhere, and by the time I found out it was something else you were gone,” Celestia explained.
Jeremy stood up awkwardly due to the skis still attached to his feet, and hugged her back. “Thanks for the concern, but I’m fine,” he answered.
Celestia looked away in embarrassment, and Jeremy tripped over his skis as he attempted to break the hug by stepping back.
“Oh, right,” Celestia remarked as she removed the spell, and Jeremy gratefully got to his feet normally and without incident. A moment later, the skis were gone, presumably back to the tree they had come off of, and Jeremy elected to walk the rest of the way down the mountain.
“So, I guess you won,” Celestia commented as they made their way down the increasingly level slope.
Jeremy laughed. “I don’t think it was really a fair win – let’s call it a tie.”
Celestia smiled at him, and they both fell silent for a moment.
“So… where to next?” Jeremy asked, wondering if she had something else in store.
“Somewhere safe, and open, please,” Celestia muttered.
Jeremy stifled a giggle as he tried to remember the one map of Equestria he’d ever bothered to study. “Well, I feel like I’ve been just about everywhere, except for Appleloosa…”
Celestia briefly considered. “Have you been to… Neighagra Falls?” she asked.
Jeremy shook his head, feeling stupid for forgetting such an important landmark. Celestia smiled, and a second later they disappeared again.
Popping back into existence, Jeremy was surprised by something that wasn’t temperature, which was by now something to be thankful for. What he was surprised by was the sudden influx of noise as they stood next to the massive waterfall, Celestia surveying it as calmly as ever.
“Well, this is certainly a lot more open!” Jeremy loudly remarked so that he could be heard over the noise of the falls.
Celestia smiled and nodded. Jeremy regarded the waterfall once more, watching in interest as fish jumped straight up the steep slope in order to reach wherever they were going. Ponies were milling around and taking pictures, and there were some shops nearby as per the usual tourist industry regulations.
A few minutes later, he turned to Celestia with a devilish grin. “Race you to the bottom?” he inquired, leaning over the railing and jabbing a thumb downward to be sure she got the point.
Celestia glared at him. “Don’t even think about it,” she sternly replied, and Jeremy chuckled.
11-23-14, 5:27 P.M.
After a while of calmly watching the falls, they agreed to return to Canterlot. Celestia lit up her horn once more, and they reappeared in front of the castle gates, Jeremy appreciating the familiarity for once.
“What a day,” he remarked as they passed Luna, who nodded at them serenely before resuming her journey in the opposite direction.
“All in all, busier than your typical Sunday, hmm?” Celestia replied as she opened the door to her bedroom.
Stopping for a moment, Jeremy stared at her.
“…What?” she asked curiously.
“So I just had a day-long date with you… on a Sunday… Did you do that for the pun?” he accused, smirking.
Celestia looked confused for a moment, but as soon as she realized what he was talking about, she was overcome with giggles. “Oh, goodness no! That was coincidental,” she answered.
She then adopted an equally devilish smirk. “Besides, if it was planned, we’d have had to reschedule Luna’s date for Monday.”
Jeremy slapped a hand to his forehead, now chuckling as well, and Celestia headed off to lower the sun, both still greatly amused.
By the time she returned, Jeremy had flopped backward to lay on the bed, his exhaustion catching up with him. After looking at him for a moment, Celestia chuckled and shook her head, lifting him up with her magic and gently tucking him into her bed.
“M’ not gonna be out that long, just need a sec to rest…” Jeremy mumbled in response.
“Take as long as you need,” Celestia replied, and exited, closing the door gently behind her.
An hour later, he traipsed downstairs to find that Ethan was once again out of his cell, seemingly waiting for him under the watchful eyes of both Princesses.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Jeremy greeted as he walked up to Ethan, who shrugged.
“Same as usual, I guess.” Jeremy gave a semi-interested grunt in return. “So, I’ve been hearing about your weekend. Mind explaining it to me in more detail?” Ethan queried.
Jeremy looked at him, eyebrow raised. “Why?” he replied.
Ethan shrugged. “I just want to hear what the other cities are like.”
Mentally shrugging, Jeremy proceeded to explain what he had seen and heard so far. Ethan listened in rapt attention, and by the time Jeremy finished, he was wide-eyed with wonder.
“Cool,” Ethan commented. With that, he wandered off to the dungeon to lock himself in, and Celestia got off her throne and gestured for Jeremy to follow.
They both crawled into bed, Celestia immediately snuggling up to him. Jeremy laughed as he placed an arm around her.
“Celestia, you’re being adorable again,” he mock-complained, and Celestia raised a half-lidded eye to meet his gaze.
“Before this happened, I never had anyone to cuddle with. Can you really blame me for enjoying it?” she retorted.
Jeremy gave a satisfied hum in response, and leaned into her as they drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 55
11-27-14, 2:14 P.M.
The week had once again been uneventful, and now Jeremy was starting to get a little worried at the utter lack of activity, both from the militant enemy group and of his own life. As soon as the break rolled around on Wednesday afternoon, he slipped away to Equestria and had enjoyed a fun day of games and other activities – by himself, unfortunately, because his marefriends were all busy. Thursday rolled around without incident, and Jeremy slept in until noon before he had to remind himself that today was Thanksgiving Day, and he should probably do something to celebrate. Exploring his campus, he was surprised to find that almost everything was closed for the holidays and no one was even in sight – he was alone in the dorm. In addition, a fresh coat of snow had been laid onto the grass and trees to replace the melted one from last week.
He walked around for a while, trying to find something to do on Earth. It seemed every door he tried was locked, and every window was dark. After two hours of searching, Jeremy reluctantly gave up, and began the long walk back to his dormitory. It seemed that everyone had gone home for the holidays except for him, and he felt oddly alone as he traversed the wintry streets. Entering his dorm, he took the stairs two at a time, as per the usual, and stepped into his dorm room. Finding nobody there, as to be expected, he set off to Equestria.
The castle, in stark contrast, was bustling with activity – from what Jeremy could glean of the maids’ and servants’ conversations, some foreign dignitaries were visiting today, and apparently Celestia hoped to broker a deal with them on exports of something or other. Deciding not to interfere, Jeremy changed direction and headed towards the dungeon.
He found Ethan playing chess with some other inmates. This confused Jeremy – wasn’t Ethan barred from contact with others due to the intensity of his crime? Then again, he’d certainly repented as of late – perhaps the other inmates had warmed up to him. As Jeremy entered, the prisoners stopped what they were doing to bow, and Jeremy had the sudden revelation that he was, in fact, married to royalty.
“None of that, please,” he politely addressed them. “I am on equal status with the rest of you.” With that, they stood back up uncertainly, and Jeremy crossed the room to speak with Ethan.
“Wow, look at you, being all formal and wise,” Ethan mocked as Jeremy took a seat across from him, and conversations slowly resumed around them.
Jeremy snorted with laughter, leaning back in his chair. “It’s called ‘being cool’, and I highly recommend you try it sometime,” he returned, setting up the pieces for a new game.
“What brings you down here, anyway?” Ethan asked, sounding bored already.
“Princesses are meeting with some foreign dignitaries in hopes of a trade deal, and I didn’t feel like messing with that. Black or white?” Jeremy asked.
Ethan stared at the board for a moment. “White, I guess,” he answered. Jeremy rotated the board, and they began their game. “What about Chrysalis?” Ethan asked.
“Holding the first-ever United Changeling Nation meeting,” Jeremy answered with a laugh. “Planned topics: Finalization of export plans, setting up a democratic institution, and how amazing High Queen Chrysalis is for putting this all together.”
Ethan chuckled, moving a pawn. Then he looked up. “…Is that actually on the topic list?”
Jeremy laughed as he moved his bishop across the board, taking out a knight. “Knowing the other queens? Probably. I don’t actually know myself, if that’s what you’re asking…”
Ethan smirked, rolling his eyes as he took the bishop with his queen. “Sounds about right. Hey, I’ve been thinking about asking one of them out on a date – any ideas?”
For a moment, Jeremy stared in shock. He then burst out laughing as he doubled over, unable to continue the game for sheer hilarity. “They’ll eat you alive!” he managed to choke out in response.
Ethan grimaced, tugging at his collar. “That unlikely, huh?”
Jeremy recovered and sat up straight, still chuckling as he wiped a tear from his eye and considered his next move. “Hey, I dunno, maybe you just have to impress them. But from the looks of things, going after a changeling queen is not a very safe idea in terms of romance.” A passing unicorn chuckled as he overheard this.
After half an hour of playing, Jeremy conceded defeat and sighed as he packed up the board. “So, any plans for Thanksgiving?” he asked as they walked out of the dungeon.
Ethan stiffened in surprise. “…Shit, I forgot that was a thing,” he exclaimed.
Jeremy laughed. “They don’t seem to have any equivalent here. I’d ask the palace staff to throw a feast or something, but I don’t think they’d be too big on turkey…”
Ethan smirked. “What about Earth?” he asked.
Jeremy briefly considered this. “There aren’t any shops open on campus, and venturing off campus for something this frivolous wouldn’t be very smart.”
Ethan frowned. “So, what can we do then?” he wondered aloud. Jeremy pondered some more, brow furrowed in concentration.
“Maybe we could have a small Thanksgiving dinner, just the five of us?” he suggested. Ethan shrugged amicably and nodded.
They met up with Celestia and Luna, who were exiting a conference room.
“How’d it go?” Jeremy asked.
Celestia looked around, making sure they were out of earshot of anypony else before whispering “Terrible.”
Ethan stifled a chuckle, and Jeremy merely grinned. “Can’t win everyone, huh?” he quipped as they entered Celestia’s room.
She wearily shook her head. “They were quite adamant that they should reap the main rewards of the deal, rather than the equal trade I proposed. I know their advisors well, and hopefully they’ll convince the main delegates to adopt a more neutral stance by tomorrow.” Jeremy grimaced in sympathy.
Luna turned to Ethan, evidently intending to ask him something politely, but her expression shifted to one of confusion – Ethan was staring all around him, apparently taking in the sight of Celestia’s bedroom.
“Ethan… what… what art thou staring at?” Luna inquired.
Ethan didn’t respond, a glazed look in his eyes, and Jeremy held back laughter as he reached out an arm and gently punched Ethan in the shoulder. Ethan yelped, coming back to the conversation, and Jeremy turned to him, arms crossed mockingly.
“To be fair, it’s a nice bedroom, but don’t space out too hard,” he admonished. Ethan gave a short, embarrassed chuckle.
“So, did you have any plans today?” asked Celestia as they sat on the carpeted floor of the bedroom.
“Well, I was hoping to celebrate Thanksgiving, but it doesn’t look like that’s happening,” Jeremy answered, and at Celestia’s inquiring look launched into an explanation.
“Well, we can say with certainty that the consumption of a turkey is not going to happen,” Luna reminded him, and Jeremy nodded.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t push that on you guys. I wonder what vegetarians do for Thanksgiving, anyway?” He looked over at Ethan, who simply shrugged.
“But a low-key, celebratory dinner… I wouldn’t mind that at all,” Celestia mused. She called up a few guards, and requested that a smaller dining room be prepared for the occasion. Jeremy watched the guardsponies exit, still impressed by their coordination and efficiency.
11-27-14, 7:02 P.M.
The five sat around the dinner table and waited for courses to be served, Chrysalis having been called over for the holiday shortly beforehand. Celestia and Luna were as regal as ever, sitting up straight and making little to no noise. Jeremy was more relaxed, leaning backward and sliding down slightly in his chair as he gazed up at the wax candles on the chandelier that lit the small room. Ethan, meanwhile, was ramrod straight and slightly trembling as he fought to keep it that way – Jeremy suspected he wasn’t the only one who had been poorly versed in table manners. Chrysalis would occasionally look over at Ethan and chuckle, or examine a utensil as though she were trying to discern its purpose, but otherwise kept a bored demeanor and expression. The only others in the room were two royal guards, one of the day and one of the night, who were as stoic and impassive as ever.
Finally, the meals were brought in, and Chrysalis was about to start eating when Jeremy held up a finger, signaling her to wait. Surprised, Chrysalis slowly put the spoonful of food back onto her plate, and Jeremy cleared his throat. “So, as most of us know, Thanksgiving dinner is a time to share what you have been most thankful for this year. So, to start us off, I’m thankful for meeting all of you and everything we’ve done together – roller-coaster ride though it was, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He made sure to look at Ethan as he said this, and although Ethan raised an eyebrow, he seemed to get the point. Then, as the rest of the table stared at him expectantly, Ethan hurriedly cleared his throat. “Oh, ah, right. Yeah. I’m most thankful for… well… for a second chance in life. Not many people get a chance to atone for stuff like what I did, and… I just wanted to say thanks.” Jeremy nodded appreciatively, and to his surprise Luna actually flashed Ethan a small smile.
Next in the circle was Chrysalis, who looked up with a serious expression. “I am thankful for… oh, I can’t say it, it’s too silly.” Jeremy looked at her flatly. “If I can say something sappy and embarrassing, you definitely can.” Chrysalis grumbled, but made no further objection. “Fine. I’m thankful for getting my own ‘happily ever after’. Happy?” she sarcastically asked, and Jeremy nodded.
“That was actually pretty cute,” he commented, and Chrysalis furiously looked away to hide her blush.
Next was Luna, who had been looking around with a small smile on her face. “Oh! Tis’ our turn. We… are thankful for having made such close friends, and… for their acceptance of our oddities,” she mumbled. Ethan looked over in confusion, and Jeremy nearly made to hug Luna before he remembered there was a table in the way. Instead, he looked her dead in the eye.
“Anytime,” he responded, and Luna gave him a teary-eyed smile as Celestia pulled her into a hug.
“We all love you just as you are, Luna,” Celestia replied, and Luna warmly returned the hug. Jeremy watched on, smiling at the moment.
Finally, it was time for Celestia to speak. “And to finish, I am thankful for a partner and friends who don’t treat me like a princess, but like a mare. Really, you have no idea how much that means to me,” she admitted, tearily reaching out with her magic for a napkin. This time, because she was next to him, Jeremy actually could hug her, and he did so immediately, remaining silent as he expressed with his arms what words could not accomplish. As he did, he got a glimpse of the guards by the doors – to his surprise, even they were holding back tears.
With the heartwarming moments over, the meal went relatively quickly. Jeremy was surprised at how many classic Thanksgiving dishes they’d managed to carry over to Equestrian cuisine, from stuffing to mashed potatoes to many more. Even Ethan wasn’t complaining, and in fact was the first one finished. They exited the room as quietly as they entered, Jeremy dropping the guards a nod as he left – and he could’ve sworn he received one in return.
“So, what now?” Luna asked as they made their way to the throne room, the starlight from the windows giving the corridor a soft white illumination.
Jeremy shrugged. “After the dinner, my family and I would always play board games or chess or something. Well, technically the adults would be more busy talking about boring adult stuff, but the part I remember is the games.”
Celestia considered this. “Well, that trade meeting was all we had to do today – what about you, Queen Chrysalis?”
Chrysalis looked over with an insolent grin. “Board games? Really? Who plays those anymore?”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Are you afraid of losing?” he taunted, and Chrysalis glared at him.
“Oh, it. Is. On ,” she hissed in challenge.
Jeremy headed out onto the empty campus to retrieve a board game or two from the common building, Chrysalis tagging along under a random human disguise. To nobody’s surprise at this point, this building too was entirely empty, and locked. Chrysalis sighed and lit her horn, and the door unlocked, the light blinking green. Jeremy looked at her in surprise.
“You guys are getting better at that – the Pentagon might need to watch out someday,” he joked. Chrysalis gave him a short smile before sauntering into the building.
“I’ve been studying along with the research group on electronics – it’d be nice to get the jump on those before they get popularized in the other kingdoms,” she informed him.
Jeremy nodded appreciatively, and found the pile of game boxes. “Let’s see, Monopoly, Life, Stratego…” he muttered as he hunted through them, trying to pick the most interesting one.
“What’s this? ‘Cards Against Humanity’?” Chrysalis asked, levitating the aforementioned box upward, and Jeremy paled as he stifled a giggle.
“Not that one,” he answered hurriedly, lifting it out of her magical grasp and placing it back on the shelf. Chrysalis gave him a curious look, but didn’t argue.
Finally, he picked a game out and they exited. “Don’t forget to lock the door,” Jeremy reminded Chrysalis, who rolled her eyes and nodded.
Once they were back through the portal, the five met up in Celestia’s bedroom.
“Pardon us, we have to go see if there is anything for us to do tonight,” Luna stated as she left the room.
“Should we wait for her?” Jeremy asked Celestia, who nodded.
“She should be but a moment – I didn’t leave much for her to do, and nopony’s scheduled to meet with her tonight.”
Sure enough, it was only a few minutes before she came back, laying down between Jeremy and Chrysalis. “Say, how come I never see you doing your dream thing?” Jeremy asked curiously.
Luna snorted. “’My dream thing’ – what an eloquent way to put it. As for the answer, it mainly involves the equine sleep cycle, which is exactly like its human counterpart – true dreaming takes up a very small portion of sleep.”
Jeremy nodded, remembering the vague tidbits he’d learned somewhere on the subject. Ethan, however, looked like this was news to him, and gave Luna an inquisitive look. However, before he could question her further, the board game began. All prior conversations ceased, and they played for hours into the night.
Chapter 56
12-8-14, 4:02 P.M.
Jeremy huffed an annoyed sigh as he opened his textbook once more, skimming through the pages to find the correct formula. It was finals week, and he wasn’t too thrilled about the prospect, although he was somewhat impressed he’d made it through the entire semester without the mysterious militant group attacking yet. Just a few more days, and he would be able to escape before they could get the chance to kill more innocents. Then, according to a plan laid out by Chrysalis, he’d move back to his house as obviously as possible, and they could evacuate the neighbors and draw the enemies out into the open.
Speaking of Chrysalis, she’d been less than happy to hear that he would be studying and taking tests for the entire first half of the week. Jeremy had had to promise that he would make it up to her upon his return before she let him leave, and even then a reluctant, almost petulant frown was visible on her face as he exited Celestia’s room.
The mood on his floor of the dormitory was best described as ‘subdued’. Instead of laughing, talking, or even just enjoying each other’s company, each student was buried in textbooks, papers, study guides and formulas. The sole whiteboard that occupied a corner of the common area above the microwave had been taken over by mathematical formulas, which had promptly continued on to invade the windows as well. There was no talking, only frustrated muttering as the kids endlessly checked and rechecked their notes.
Jeremy, meanwhile, was absent from all of this, preferring his own dorm room for studying to the common room. Sure, every once in a while he’d come out to ask a question, or try to help another student with a problem he noticed them struggling on, but for the most part he was doing what he always did when it came to socializing on campus: Locking himself in his room and not speaking to anyone. Although, to be fair, he’d loosened up quite a bit since his first few days on campus.
12-8-14, 11:07 P.M.
Rubbing his eyes, Jeremy leaned back in his chair and sighed, setting his study guide down. He wasn’t sure if he’d studied quite enough, but that would have to be enough – he recognized the value of a full night’s sleep. He walked over to the entrance to the room, turning off the light. His roommate wasn’t back yet, presumably either out studying or doing other stuff. Scuffing his feet along the tiled floor as he went, Jeremy hopped up into bed and sank into sleep.
12-9-14, 4:00 P.M.
Kids filed in to the lecture hall, animatedly chatting. Jeremy had already been there for a few hours beforehand – he had spent some time making sure he knew where it was, and it was also a nice, quiet place to finish studying. To the test, he had brought the usual assortment of school supplies – graphing calculator, pencils and sharpener, and an eraser. He had also brought the silver revolver, as he still wasn’t allowed to leave his dorm room without it.
The test started, and Jeremy quickly began working his way through the integrations and substitutions, finding with some satisfaction that he was quite competent on these problems – clearly the studying had paid off. Hell, it might even make up for his lousy grades on the quizzes.
Halfway through, he was only slightly less confident – while he had been unable to answer a few questions, he had given them his best shot and moved on. As long as he scraped a 50% on this final, he’d pass the class – and right now, that was all that mattered.
12-9-14, 6:07 P.M.
Jeremy stared at his exam, which was now closed and slightly rumpled from his constant page-flipping. He really didn’t think he could do any better, as he’d already spent the past fifteen minutes trying to rework the problems he couldn’t find an answer for without any success. Just as he was about to struggle his way through the row of other test-takers into the aisle so he could turn his exam in, it occurred to him that he should probably pack up his bag and take that too – wouldn’t want to inconvenience the others by attempting a round trip. He hurriedly shoved his calculator and writing utensils into his backpack, and stumbled his way around the others. They moved to let him pass, clearly annoyed at the interruption, and Jeremy gave them an apologetic frown before moving on.
He’d made it halfway down the aisle when there was a commotion behind him. Turning around to spot the source of the loud noise, he found that a stranger in a black suit was pointing an AK-47 at him. Students were openmouthed in shock, and inched away from the stranger as he got closer to Jeremy. For a moment, Jeremy’s expression was perfectly akin to that of a deer caught in the headlights, and all he could think of was just how unfair this was – he had been about to hand in his exam! He was nearly done with the year, couldn’t they have waited two more goddamn days?! Ah well. Moving quickly, he reached into his backpack, which was open on one end – Jeremy thanked himself from a few minutes ago for packing up in such an unnecessary hurry, and pulled out the revolver. In the space of a heartbeat, the intruder’s head exploded into a cloud of red, and the nearby students screamed as the corpse slumped to the floor. Sorry you had to see that , Jeremy mentally apologized to them – physically, he didn’t think he could bring himself to speak those words without bursting into tears.
Two more entered the room, guns drawn and already firing – to Jeremy’s relief, they were only aiming for him. Jeremy pointed the revolver their way and fired back. To his satisfaction, he only missed once, and a few seconds later there were two more corpses in the room. He waited a moment, listening to see if any more were coming – satisfied that nobody was, he strode down the aisle to the still-shocked TA’s, who were staring at them as though he were a ghost. As casually as though he hadn’t just been attacked, Jeremy placed his exam in the appropriate box, and shook the hand of his recitation TA, who was still shaking.
“Have a nice break – oh, and I’d advise locking the doors for a moment,” Jeremy remarked loudly.
With that, he strode out of the room, revolver swinging loosely in his hand. As he walked up the aisle, his shoe clunked against something plastic – he stopped to examine it. A sinking feeling began in his chest as he realized it was a walkie-talkie – for what use would a walkie-talkie have if there weren’t more terrorists skulking around somewhere?
Admittedly, that was cool – he felt pretty good about that. Still, the stress of being shot at was no small consideration. Speaking of which, wasn’t there something he was supposed to do now? Hmm… Wait, right, he was supposed to tell his marefriends and Mary. Whipping out his phone, he paused a moment before calling Mary first – he thought it might give her more time to mobilize the troops.
“Yo, Mary, we got problems,” he began as soon as she picked up.
“What kind of problems?” Mary asked.
“Those guys invaded again, and I think this might be the big one,” Jeremy answered.
There was a moment of silence on Mary’s end, before she responded, sounding hurried. “Head back to the dorm and get your friends in on this – we’re going to need all the help we can get.”
Jeremy affirmed this, and promptly hung up, breaking into a quick jog as he dialed up Celestia.
“Jeremy? I’m in a meeting, is this important?” Celestia asked, sounding mildly annoyed.
“Terrorists invaded, I'm coming over there to get the suit. Get ready,” Jeremy answered, hanging up once more.
Now that he didn’t have to worry about traffic, Jeremy started sprinting down the road towards his dorm area, either going around or pushing aside other pedestrians in his mad dash. They complained, quite loudly, but Jeremy had other, more pressing things on his mind – such as whether he was going to just kill everyone again or attempt to negotiate. He felt as though this were a final exam that he had started, only to find he had forgotten to study.
Bursting into his room, Jeremy froze at the sight of his roommate, who stared at him. For a moment, he stared back, silver handgun dangling from his fingertips as he tried to think of an explanation. To his shock, his roommate sighed, stood up and faced him.
“This is about the ponies and terrorists and stuff, isn’t it?” he asked, and Jeremy’s jaw could’ve hit the floor.
“H… h-how …?!” Jeremy stammered, too shocked to form a coherent sentence.
“Saw you going into the closet, peeked inside, saw a pony. Anyway, I’ll just get out of your way…”
With that, Jeremy’s roommate calmly stepped out into the common area, and Jeremy watched him leave for a moment, his slack-jawed stare slowly shifting back into a pleased grin. Clearly his roommate was way cooler than he’d thought.
He ran through the halls of the Canterlot castle, wondering where the hell he’d left his suit. Maybe Celestia knew? He headed for the throne room, opening the door to find Celestia, with Luna close behind. Celestia’s horn lit up yellow, and a second later, he found himself fully dressed in the white plastic suit. He smiled appreciatively at her.
“First time you’ve ever teleported my clothes on ,” he quipped, and Celestia smacked him with a wing good-naturedly. With that, they headed back for the portal. “Where’s Chrysalis?” Jeremy asked.
Celestia shrugged. “As soon as she heard, she ran off. I have no idea what she’s up to.” Jeremy cocked an eyebrow, but didn’t press the issue, and they continued onward.
Their progress was finally halted by Ethan, who was standing in front of the portal. Jeremy strode forward with an unamused frown.
“Out of the way, Ethan, we got stuff to do,” he ordered.
To everyone’s surprise, Ethan shook his head. “I’m coming with,” he demanded, and Jeremy glared at him – he appreciated the attempt to help, but now wasn’t the time.
Seeing his look, Ethan continued. “This is a golden opportunity to prove to you guys that I can be cool, and I’m not going to let it go to waste! Let me fight!”
Jeremy looked at Celestia, expecting some sort of answer, but her face was unreadable. Luna too was keeping her expression carefully still, and Jeremy reluctantly returned his gaze back to Ethan.
“You know what, fine,” he tiredly answered. “Just – just keep this in mind. You’re the only one of us who stands a real shot at dying here, got it? Which, if memory serves, we’ve already had to save you from once. Don’t mess up again.”
Ethan looked him dead in the eye, and nodded. “Yes, sir,” he answered, and Jeremy mentally cringed – he’d almost forgotten Ethan was a trained soldier, and his previous sentence was quite a poignant reminder. Jeremy reached into the dimensional void that stored his weapons and, after some deliberation, pulled out the M16 assault rifle. Ethan accepted it, checking over the clip and gun with a practiced eye.
“Ammo?” he asked.
“Infinite,” Jeremy tersely responded, and Ethan grinned.
Jeremy handed Luna the SPAS-12 auto-shotgun, and she levitated it with a grim determination in her eyes. Celestia sighed as she looked at this, and Jeremy glanced at her curiously.
“I suppose it will have to come to murder, won’t it,” she sadly declared, and Jeremy looked away for a moment as this hit him.
“I suppose so,” he answered.
Celestia looked at him curiously. “But what weapons do you possess now? You seem to have given away most of your heavier armaments.” Jeremy took out the revolver in response, and she surveyed it distastefully. “This won’t do,” Celestia declared, and lit up her horn once more. A moment later, all the weapons had been duplicated.
“Nice,” Jeremy commented with some surprise as he received the new M16 and SPAS-12 and stored them.
Celestia had duplicated an M16 of her own, and repeated the same motions Ethan had, peering into the magazine curiously. “Know how to use it?” Jeremy asked, and she nodded.
“Shouldn’t be too hard. Now let’s get going,” Celestia responded, and the team of four headed through the portal.
Mary was waiting just outside, a squad of soldiers standing at the ready.
“Good to see you guys are ready,” she commented, and Luna nodded – both alicorns had once again transformed into their human appearances in preparation.
The military team were looking at Celestia and Luna curiously, and the few students who were in the room were staring at the group awkwardly.
“So, what’s the plan?” Jeremy asked.
“Split up, hunt them down, and dispatch every last one,” Mary answered. “From what communications we managed to intercept, they’re only concerned with you and Ethan – but mostly you, Jeremy. So if we all stay in your general area, but out of sight, we should be able to pick them off.” Jeremy nodded.
“Sounds good, let’s go,” he urged, and set off down the stairs.
Before he could leave, however, Celestia stopped him.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asked Mary, and both she and Jeremy looked at her curiously. To make her point, Celestia gestured at the students who had been watching the exchange in open astonishment.
Mary cleared her throat. “Ah… right. Campus lockdown is already in effect, and we have a current advisory to head to the nearest building and lock yourself in until the threat has passed. That good?” Celestia nodded, satisfied, and opened the door for Jeremy. Giving her the faintest of smiles, he started down the stairs.
As he stepped outside into the wintry night, shotgun in hand, Jeremy couldn’t help but reflect on the sense of finality he was still getting. Like everything so far had led up to this moment. Was he going to pass, or fail? Only time and bullets would tell. He noticed Ethan gazing up at the stars, a pallid sweat on his lanky face, and nudged him in the elbow.
“Thanks,” Jeremy said, conveying with his tone and body language what he couldn’t quite put into words.
Ethan turned his stare to him, surprised for a moment, before giving a toothy smile. “Anytime,” he answered.
With that, the two former enemies led their small army off into the night, each sure that this was to be the longest night of their lives.
Chapter 57
12-9-14, 8:30 P.M.
“All quiet on the Western front,” Jeremy joked over his helmet radio. It had been reconfigured to tap into the military squad’s channel, and Mary had been given her own communication device so she could speak with him as well.
They were moving back through campus towards where Jeremy had been attacked, and so far it was slow going. Not a single gunshot cracked the atmosphere, from either their group or anywhere else, and it was starting to get to Jeremy just how quiet things were. Whereas before he’d felt like he was thrust into the thick of things unexpectedly, now he felt as though the tension was simply building without any sign of leveling – the calm before the storm. What fresh hell had these guys planned? Was there anything else, or was it just the three from before? He’d feel pretty amazingly stupid if all this was nothing more than a false alarm.
“Wouldn’t it be the Eastern front, anyway?” Ethan responded, sounding as though he were fighting the urge to laugh.
“Central, I would think. Central-East? Ah, whatever. Point is, can’t see anyone,” Jeremy replied, his smile unseen over the radio.
Jeremy walked out onto the main road, his feeling of unease only increasing – the entire road, normally constantly busy, was entirely empty. Not even the ambulances that usually screamed their way around the other traffic were making an appearance. He knew this was because the military had cordoned off the entire area, but it didn’t exactly make him feel any better – the silence was so different that it was messing with him.
“All quiet on Euclid,” he spoke over the radio, oddly quiet himself.
“You okay?” Celestia responded, sounding concerned.
“All this silence is getting to me,” he replied, looking around as though he expected something to jump out at any moment.
“Tis’ a common warfare tactic. Pay it no heed, they will appear eventually,” Luna chimed in.
“So…” Jeremy began, casting about for some form of conversation to distract himself. “Military guys, what you got in the way of armor?” There was a short pause before one of the squad answered.
“Kevlar flak jackets, and ceramic nanoplates along with that.” Jeremy gave an appreciative grunt – that ought to stop most of the lighter bullets.
“Mary, what about you?” he continued.
“About the same – snagged some hidden PPE by special request when these guys were sent over here,” Mary answered. She appeared a distance down from Jeremy, looking around suspiciously before giving him a short wave.
“So, the only one who’s unprotected here is Ethan… Let’s hope that military training of yours comes in handy, huh?” Jeremy mused, addressing Ethan over the radio. To his surprise, there was no response. “…Ethan? You there?” he asked.
Just then, a gunshot split the night air, and Jeremy immediately whipped out his M16 and headed towards it. A lone figure appeared in the darkness, and Jeremy flicked on the flashlight on his rifle before realizing it was Ethan, splattered with blood and looking as though he had just appeared out of a horror film.
“What happened?” he asked.
Ethan huffed a sigh. “Just ran into one – alone. He cornered me, started speaking – in English, mind you – about how I should be on their side, and that this was my last chance to go back over before they started targeting me as well. You can guess what happened next.”
Jeremy grimaced in sympathy, before realizing Ethan couldn’t see it. “Sucks, man. Still, they’d probably have shot you anyway.”
Ethan nodded, and hefted his own rifle, taking out the clip before putting it back in again – Jeremy recognized the motion, he’d done it many times before to take advantage of the magically infinite store of bullets most of them possessed. Every time the clip was ejected and put back in, it refilled – and even though Ethan had only fired a single shot, Jeremy understood the comforting feeling of having a full clip as opposed to a half full or near-empty one.
“Well, if no one else has any news, I say we head down to the engineering quad,” Jeremy remarked. The rest chimed in their various assent, and he crossed Euclid hesitantly, still following the crosswalk despite the lack of cars. Just a little bit of familiar comfort, he rationalized. Looking around, he came to the very same building he’d been in when this all started. Making his way up the steps, he was only mildly surprised to find the building locked. “Did the other students in here make it out?” he asked, concerned.
“Campus police force should have evacuated them and all other students off-campus just a half hour ago – I’m sure they’re fine,” Mary answered.
“Good enough for me,” Jeremy decided, and moved back down the steps and across Adelbert, finally heading toward the engineering quad of the school.
The engineering quad itself was quite large – like most of Case Western, it had once been part of a separate school before the series of agglomerations and merges that led to the university’s current, hourglass-shaped span. Most of the center was taken up by grassy lawns and art sculptures, with a few trees thrown in for good measure. In the summer months, students would often study around here, as the atmosphere was quite nice – in the winter, however, more heated shelter was preferred. Squirrels chittered slightly as they moved from tree to tree, searching for higher-quality acorns than the ones that littered the ground.
From what Jeremy could make out, the quad was currently deserted – this wasn’t exactly unusual, as any sensible person would be at the dorms or at the very least inside at this hour. He sighed as he looked around.
“And… yet more nothing,” he complained. “You’d think, at the very least, they’d have the decency to leave us some clues. I feel like we’ve missed something…” He could hear Luna’s chuckle over the headset, but it was abruptly stopped by a sharp intake of breath on her part. “…Okay, what is it, Luna?” he asked.
“We just performed a tracking spell to see if anything at all was in thine area – and there is a large group of humans hiding behind a building approximately fifty meters in front of thee.” The screen on his helmet suddenly depicted a rough schematic of this, causing Jeremy to jerk backward in alarm before realizing what it was.
He cracked his knuckles, relieved. “Everyone catch that?” he asked, and the others affirmed this. “Let’s surround them, if we can,” he suggested.
“Not gonna reasonably happen – by the time the rest of us catch up with you, they’ll probably have moved or spotted someone. Best to just start the fight, and we’ll join in when we get there,” Mary advised.
Jeremy shrugged. “Suit yourself, I guess…” He moved forward.
The visual on his helmet minimized itself into a corner, with an orange dot to signify himself. Jeremy grinned – he appreciated the almost game-like addition. The enemy group was present as a bunch of red dots once they were in sight, and he readied his M16 in preparation. For once, Jeremy wished his suit wasn’t covered in metal plating – it reflected the streetlights quite nicely. Which was a bad thing. Ah well, might as well just stroll up like he owned the damn place. He broke into a run, popping around the corner to find a bunch of black-clad men discussing something, all heavily armed themselves. As soon as they saw him, they froze.
“Anyone else feel like black is out of style this year?” he quipped, before opening fire.
As soon as he mowed down the first five, the rest scattered, taking aim with their own arms. Jeremy ducked and rolled – the bullets barely even hurt due to the unbelievable engineering that was his suit, but he didn’t want them to think they were being unproductive, mainly for fear of them finding something productive to do. Such as pick other targets.
A few minutes later, Jeremy was feeling strangely exhilarated as he settled back into the old routine of shooting other people – this, at least, had become comfortably familiar. Ugh. What is wrong with me? He thought disgustedly. More counseling, then. God, the last session went so poorly, too. I couldn’t even answer a single question!
Just then, a battle cry sounded across the courtyard, loud enough to halt Jeremy in his tracks and send a chill through his very blood. Luna had entered the fight, and her stark white face contained nothing but unholy rage. Most everyone else had stopped trying to shoot him in order to stare at the newcomer, before one pulled out their automatic shotgun and attempted to shoot her. Luna raised a hand, and the bullets stopped in midair, glowing slightly with her blue magical aura. She brought her hand down, and the lead dispersed in a wide arc, catching at least five of the terrorists – judging from the way they doubled over or spun in place, and the lack of blood, Jeremy supposed it had been equivalent to a sturdy punch. Unfortunately, her magic couldn’t make the bullets go quite fast enough to penetrate anything, and Luna appeared to notice this as she whipped out her SPAS-12.
“THIS IS FOR MY HUSBAND, FOALS!” she screamed as she began blasting away those nearest to her, and Jeremy watched for a moment more in a mix of delight and absolute terror before remembering that he was supposed to help. Together, he and Luna set about utterly destroying every black-clad person they found.
Just a few minutes later, perhaps twenty or so corpses littered the area around the building. “Nice work,” Jeremy complimented Luna as they surveyed the area for any more.
“We… should probably calm down…” Luna huffed, seemingly more from adrenaline than any actual exertion.
“Hey, lovebirds, have you been paying attention?” Mary called out over the radio.
Jeremy blushed slightly. “Uh… no… what happened?” he asked.
“A whole bunch more showed up while you two were busy with the first group – we’re leading them your way. Get ready!”
Jeremy replied in the affirmative, and headed back out towards Euclid road, Luna following behind before taking his side.
They came out onto Euclid to find Mary waiting for them, clutching her chest and sporting a cut on the side of her face.
“You okay?” Jeremy asked, concerned.
“Fine, fine. I’ve had worse,” Mary answered, dismissing his concerns with a wave of her hand. Jeremy was about to protest, but a look from Luna silenced him. He watched as she placed a hand over Mary’s chest, and a moment later she straightened up, before looking Luna in the eye and muttering “Thanks.” Luna nodded silently, and they turned around once more – this time to find another soldier running toward them, a slightly panicked look on his face.
“Kid, got any grenades?” he asked, sounding a lot calmer than he looked.
Jeremy shook his head. “Rocket launcher’s all I got.” The soldier swore under his breath, then guiltily looked at Luna, who merely stared back.
“There’s gotta be at least a hundred of them – where did they pour in from?” he asked Mary, who shook her head and shrugged. They looked at Jeremy, who shrugged as well – why were they asking him ?
A few minutes later, gunfire could be heard as black-clad militants swarmed Euclid Avenue. “Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Jeremy remarked to the soldier. Jeremy and Luna stayed out in the open, hoping to attract attention, while Mary and the soldier went into the shadows.
It was utter pandemonium – it seemed like for every terrorist Jeremy shot down, three more took his place. They were everywhere – it hadn’t taken them long to swarm around him and Luna. Luna herself was shooting back, ducking and weaving in the deadliest dance Jeremy had ever seen – that is, deadly to anyone else. The air was thick with red mist and flying chunks of meat, and Jeremy grimaced at the few glimpses he caught of the gruesome sight. You’d think they’d catch on that we’re bulletproof , Jeremy commented to Luna as he went back to concentrating on wholesale slaughter. Perhaps they are hoping to wear our defenses or armaments down? I agree, tis’ curious… Luna responded. She was beginning to look tired – Jeremy thought all the bullet regeneration might be taking its toll.
12-9-14, 9:48 P.M.
The pile of fresh corpses and body parts littered the streets by the time they were done, and Jeremy had to fight the urge to be sick inside his suit as he wiped the blood off of his helmet visor, picking away at a particularly coagulated chunk that looked as if it belonged in a meat shop.
“Christ…” one of the soldiers muttered at the sight.
“Thank God that’s over,” Mary remarked. “That had to have been most of them, if not all… right?” she asked, looking around as though expecting to find some sort of concrete reassurance. When none was forthcoming, she turned to Jeremy, who’s eyes were firmly upon the ground – he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud that no, of course that wasn’t the end of it. Why would it be?
As Jeremy stared down at a body, missing whole chunks of the head and stomach, he couldn’t help but feel that something was off – and it wasn’t just the gore-filled sight. But no matter how he tried, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was only when he stooped down to examine the body that he began to put it together, picking at the shirt the man was wearing.
“Uh… Jeremy, he’s definitely dead. Come on, we gotta round up the last few,” Mary declared, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Jeremy waved it off irritably, and held the piece of shirt up for all of them to see. Mary stared at it for a moment, unsure what he was getting at.
“Where’s their armor?” Jeremy asked, and a few of the soldiers began to catch on. “If this were a serious attack, you’d think they’d have the sense to at the very least put on some Kevlar, let alone nanoceramic or Spectra, right?” Mary was by now staring at the piece of cotton fabric as if it had single-handedly crushed all her hopes and dreams.
“So… you think these guys… were just cannon fodder?” A soldier asked.
Jeremy grimly nodded. “Yep,” he declared. “I think we should-“
He never got to finish his sentence, for at that moment there was a massive explosion, and the building next to them collapsed into rubble.
Chapter 58
12-9-14, 9:17 P.M.
For what seemed like a few minutes, all was bright light and smoke for Jeremy as he tried desperately to get a bearing on what had just happened and where he was. As he came back to his senses and his ears stopped ringing, he became aware of a voice shouting over the radio.
“-spond! Jeremy?!” Luna was yelling frantically, sounding as though he had just died.
“Yeah, I’m here,” he groaned as he slowly picked himself up. He was currently back in the medical museum’s lobby, having been blown through a wall – it hurt amazingly.
“Art thou hurt? What happened?” Luna queried, still sounding panicked.
“No, I’m good, I’m fine,” he lied through his teeth as he shakily made his way back outside. “Grenade launcher, maybe? Rocket?” Jeremy wondered aloud, in response to her second question. “And where are the others?” he added after a second’s hesitation.
“We think Celestia managed to put up a shield just before the blast – they may be still alive,” Luna hesitantly answered.
Jeremy frowned – maybe was a strong word, for what they’d just been through. He had the suit, and Celestia and Luna were alicorns – but the others? Could well be blown to bits by now. Great, just… great . Well, the least he could do was avenge their deaths, by figuring out what had caused them. Looking around, he didn’t see anything. There was a faint rumbling in the background, and Jeremy almost missed the approaching vehicle until the top swiveled around to face him. For a moment, he stared, in openmouthed shock at the sight. “…Are you kidding me ? A tank ?!”
Luna was across the avenue, evidently staring as well. Jeremy heard the tank being armed with another blast, and dove out of the way just in time. The heat wave alone was painful, but the shockwave sent him tumbling head over heels across the street, where to his pride he managed to get up and hide behind a building, quickly circling around.
“Jeremy, how do we stop this thing?” Luna demanded.
“Rockets, maybe? Worth a shot,” he mumbled.
Bringing out the rocket launcher, he carefully loaded it and flicked on the laser sights, grunting at how heavy it was. Coming around, he spotted Luna carefully leading the tank onward, away from him, and grunted with satisfaction. Before he opened fire, he took a moment to look around – scout a path, maybe? Yeah… that might work. Turning his attention back to the tank, he shouldered the rocket launcher and took aim. One burst of light later, and the tank was slightly crumpled on the backside. Much to Jeremy’s dismay, this didn’t seem to accomplish much towards his goal of kill-the-tank-before-you-die, but he was working on it.
He ran around more buildings, thanking the various deities he’d met so far that the tank seemingly wasn’t interested in trying to hit him through said buildings. He pulled out another rocket, and hurriedly loaded it into the launcher, being significantly less careful than last time – he didn’t know if Luna could keep avoiding the tank’s barrages for much longer, especially with him taking her magic via the infinite rockets. Coming out from behind what he thought was some biotechnology center, he fired off another rocket-propelled grenade, making sure to target it in the exact same place. Unfortunately, the second shot didn’t seem to accomplish much.
“Uh… Luna, might be a good time to run!” Jeremy asserted over the radio. For a moment, Luna didn’t respond. “Luna?” Jeremy asked, taking out yet another rocket in the vague hopes that a miracle might occur.
“Nay! We shall see this through to the end!” Luna finally responded, and leaped forward.
She hopped onto the tank’s rifle, and hugged it as though she were wrestling with a giant snake. Audibly grunting with effort, she attempted to bend the barrel upward towards her. Jeremy honestly wasn’t sure whether to laugh or be worried at this point – there was no way even her alicorn strength could accomplish something like that… right?
To his unpleasant surprise, he was correct, and Luna gave up after a short while, huffing with exhaustion. As soon as she stopped trying to bend the cannon, the secondary machine gun mounted on the tank swiveled over to nearly face her, and unloosed a hail of bullets. Fortunately for Luna, the gun couldn’t quite seem to face her directly, and thus missed completely – it stopped a short while later, quite possibly because the operators had figured this out.
“Well… now what?” Jeremy wondered out loud. At best, they’d reached a stalemate – the tank couldn’t kill either of them, nor could they bring it down.
“Hmm… Wait! We have an idea! Hit it with another rocket, in the exact same place,” Luna commanded, sounding excited.
Jeremy shrugged, not really catching on. “If you say so,” he replied, and ran around to the back of the tank before hitting it with another rocket. Luna, who had dived off the tank, sprang up and placed her hands under the turret, once more lifting up.
“…Are you serious?” Jeremy asked after a moment.
Luna’s hands glowed blue, and finally, with a scream of rage and the sound of popping rivets, the turret leaped off the rest of the tank like it had burst from the inside, landing some distance away with a deafening crash. Jeremy stared as Luna, still enraged, roughly hauled the two pilots out of the tank and curbstomped both violently, only stopping when they stopped moving. With that done, she turned to Jeremy with an apologetic grimace on her face.
“…Sorry,” she muttered, and before Jeremy could stop her, Luna pitched forward, fainting into his arms.
For a long moment, Jeremy took in what had just happened. Then, one of the two tank pilots began to stir, and Jeremy glared over at them before gently setting Luna down, whipping out his shotgun, and finishing what Luna had started. Following that, he carefully dragged Luna’s unconscious body behind a building, gingerly making his way around the strewn debris from various explosions. Following that, he finally checked in with the radio.
“Anyone else, report! Luna is down for the count, and so’s the tank. Is anyone at all still alive out there?!”
For a moment, all was silent. Then Celestia’s voice crackled through, and her eerie calmness sent a chill down Jeremy’s spine. “My sister is dead?” Celestia asked quietly.
For a moment, Jeremy was legitimately too scared to answer, but he quickly collected himself. “No! No, not dead, just knocked out. Definitely still alive, she’s breathing and everything,” he hastily reassured her. There was a collective sigh of relief on the other end, and Jeremy’s heart lept as he recognized the voices of the other soldiers.
“Thank the fates,” Celestia finally responded, sounding a lot less terrifying. “Sorry, I just-“
Jeremy cut her off. “I know,” he answered. “I know.”
“Where are you guys, anyway? I lost track of everyone after the first blast,” Jeremy asked, scanning his surroundings in case someone tried to sneak up on him.
“We got blasted right through a building – I shielded us at the last minute, but it wasn’t quite enough. Turns out there were many more soldiers on the other side, waiting – we were taking care of them while you and Luna took on the armored vehicle.” Jeremy gave an appreciative hum.
“I’m inside one of the blown-out buildings back on Euclid, with Luna. The tank’s down – Luna ripped off the turret, and the pilots are dead.” Disturbed mutterings could be heard on the other end of the radio.
“Luna ripped off the turret of a T-55? That’s… they’re riveted on, how is that possible?” Mary asked. Jeremy was glad to hear her voice again – he’d been unsure if she too had made it.
“Alicorn strength,” Ethan answered, surprising Jeremy.
“Yep,” he agreed. “Good to see you made it, Ethan.”
Ethan chuckled. “So, how are the wife and kids?” he jokingly asked.
“Well, the wife’s had a long day at work, the other wife is listening in, the third wife is doing who knows what, and the kids haven’t gotten around to existing. Lazy bums,” Jeremy shook his head in mock disgust – technically he should be taking this whole fight more seriously, but the humor was a nice departure from the thoughts that he was sure were going to haunt his dreams for years to come. Maybe he should murder with friends more often, ha ha.
A few seconds after that inspiring thought, Celestia poked her head through the debris, rearing back when she caught the sight of Jeremy pointing a shotgun at her.
“Oh, hey... uh... Didn’t see you there,” Jeremy greeted, lowering the barrel awkwardly.
Celestia looked at him for a moment, and sighed. “…Looks like you’re not the only one with bad memories,” she muttered.
Jeremy had to think for a moment about what she meant, but it came back to him – the beginning of their only fight. Wow, that was forever ago , he thought. Not that he was exactly wistful for the experience, but it had certainly been simpler than what he’d been through since. Oh well, that’s life.
“Yeah… sorry,” Jeremy mumbled. Celestia pulled him into a rough hug, and he returned it as warmly as he could.
“Don’t ever apologize for that,” Celestia whispered. Jeremy didn’t respond – he wasn’t sure any words of his would add much to the moment.
Celestia pulled away after a minute to look down at Luna, who was breathing silently, slumped over on the floor. “She always did overexert herself in battle,” Celestia remarked, shaking her head.
“Not to ruin the sentiment, but does this mean we no longer have infinite bullets?” Jeremy asked, gazing down at Luna’s prone form as well.
Celestia laughed. “I can easily cover for that,” she answered, placing a tanned palm on Luna’s own pale arm. There was a mix of yellow and blue auras, and a moment later Celestia straightened up. “Hands are nice,” she remarked after a moment, and Jeremy stifled a snort of laughter.
“So… we faced a hundred or so of these guys… and then a tank… Now I’m wondering, what’s next?” Jeremy asked, half concerned and half joking. Celestia shrugged, picking up Luna as though she weighed nothing more than a pillow and motioning for him to follow outside. Mary, Ethan and the rest were waiting, more gore-splattered than ever but with slight smiles on their faces – Jeremy vaguely suspected they had overheard him and Celestia. “So, what do we do now?” Jeremy repeated to the group at large.
Ethan looked down the street, and his face paled once more, contrasting impressively with his lanky hair. “I don’t know about you, but we might want to do something about that ,” he exclaimed, pointing. Jeremy followed his gaze, and to his horror, saw two more T-55 tanks headed their way, barrels already swiveling to meet them. Before anyone else could react, Celestia stepped forward.
“Allow me,” she proclaimed, and raised a single hand. And just like that, the tanks stopped.
Ethan looked at her in surprise. “What the hell did you just do ?” he demanded.
Celestia smiled. “They’re finding it rather hard to breathe at the moment, inside those enclosed spaces,” she explained.
Sure enough, the tops of the tanks popped open, and four figures hurriedly scrambled out. Jeremy looked at them for a moment before turning to Celestia.
“Well, might as well go take care of them for good,” he asserted. Celestia frowned, but nodded.
A few bullets later, four fresh corpses were added to the blood-riddled section of Euclid Avenue.
“God, I am never going to be able to pass this street again on the way to the engineering quad,” Jeremy muttered, looking down once again at the horrific sight.
Celestia gave him a sympathetic frown, and he responded with a tired sigh – the truly sad part was, this was becoming his routine. Just then, Luna came wandering out of the building they had laid her down in, tired and irritable.
“Save it, sister, we have come to our own conclusions,” she admonished Celestia, who had been about to speak.
Taken aback for a moment, Celestia merely smiled and shook her head. “Good to see you up and about once more, Lulu.”
With that, the two hugged, and Jeremy looked around with some amusement to find that everyone else was staring with expressions ranging from laughter to utmost adoration on their faces.
They spent the next half hour searching around unsuccessfully for any more terrorists – if there were any left, they were making themselves scarce. Jeremy was about to call it a night when out of precisely nowhere, two sprinted right past them at a dead run. Jeremy was about to shoot them, but instead curiously decided to watch them go – for where would they be headed in such a hurry?
“Come on, let’s follow them!” he motioned to the rest of the group, who had also seen the runners, and after a moment’s hesitation they too began pursuing.
They followed the two through roads and alleys, across grass lawns and around concrete buildings, until they came to a thick wall of hedges. The two terrorists, after looking around to make sure they weren’t being followed, slipped inside. Celestia chuckled as she released her invisibility spell.
“Not too bright, are they?” she commented out loud.
“Well, we can’t all be the sun goddess,” Jeremy teased back. Celestia blushed and looked away, and Jeremy grinned in triumph – rare was the day he verbally bested one of his wives.
“So, what eldritch horrors lie in wait beyond the looming, vine-ensnared gates?” Ethan remarked, trying his best to sound dramatic and succeeding valiantly.
Jeremy chuckled. “Guess we’ll have to go find out.”
They entered the park to find no one in sight – no group of terrorists, no more tanks, no anything.
“Uh… do we have the right park?” Jeremy wondered out loud.
“Unless we have been surreptitiously teleported, one would think so,” Luna responded, looking around.
Celestia was on guard, suspiciously looking around at the trees as though she expected an ambush – which, after the events of this night, was not at all out of the question, Jeremy thought bemusedly. Just then, there was an earsplitting whine, and right in front of them two powerful foglights blinked into existence. They were facing what appeared to be a bomber plane, streamlined and metallic, and everyone quickly scrambled out of the way as it suddenly screamed forward, using the park lawn as a runway to take off into the night. Jeremy watched it go for a moment, stumped.
“Were they… pulling out?” he wondered.
“Methinks not,” Luna answered shakily – Jeremy looked over, concerned. Was she scared of the plane? Odd.
“Celestia, shield us!” Ethan cried out suddenly, and without a single hesitation, Celestia’s hands lit up and an orange-yellow magical shield flickered to life.
Jeremy had about a second to look up, and he wished he didn’t. The only thing he made out in that second was a small, metallic missile headed their way – a bomb , he deduced.
They’re bombing us now.
Wonderful.
Chapter 59
12-9-14, 10:26 P.M.
For what seemed like an eternity confined to a split second, everything flashed white as Jeremy’s vision went blank. As the rods and cones in his eyes slowly began recovering, he became vaguely aware of someone screaming, and was secretly relieved it wasn’t him.
“Christ, John, shut up! The bomb bounced,” another soldier yelled into the headset.
‘John’ promptly stopped screaming and looked around, giving a relieved sigh and a slump of the shoulders before turning to Celestia. “Uh… Thanks.” Celestia merely smiled and nodded, looking exhausted.
As they looked up to check if the sky was clear, Celestia took Jeremy aside and whispered, presumably disabling the microphone.
“I can’t hold off too many of those – we need to take those planes out while we still can,” she told him. Jeremy solemnly nodded.
“They’re too fast to take out with the rocket launcher – do we have anything else?” he asked curiously.
Celestia thought for a while, then shook her head. Jeremy grimaced – it looked like they were in need of a miracle. Luna, who had evidently been listening in, gave him an apologetic frown, which Jeremy took to mean that even her assistance would not be enough. This made unpleasant sense to Jeremy – after all, she’d dropped once already. He frowned in thought, trying to discern some magical method of downing a bomber plane.
“Should we tell the others?” Jeremy asked, to give himself time to think.
Celestia appeared uncomfortable. “…Yes, I suppose so,” she finally answered, looking over at the rest with a hint of dismay.
Jeremy approached the rest of the group, who were still watching the sky.
“We need to move,” he began. They turned to face him expectantly. “Celestia and Luna can’t hold these off forever, even with their magic. Either we find a way to take these bombers down, or we’re doomed."
Ethan stared at him for a moment, before slumping against a tree, rifle held loosely in hand as he stared up at the sky. “Don’t mind me, just gonna wait for the inevitable,” he muttered in response to the questioning looks sent his way.
“Oh come on, we’ll pull through this,” Jeremy cajoled, attempting to motivate Ethan back into a fighting mood.
Ethan looked at him furiously. “Celestia and Luna can’t do this. What makes you think we can?” Jeremy winced – the point hit home.
“Would you rather just give up?” he countered. “We have to keep fighting, as long as we’re still alive.”
Ethan grumbled, clearly wanting to protest, but after a moment got to his feet. “I still say we’re doomed,” he groaned.
“Keep saying it, you’ll invoke Murphy’s Law and then everything will be golden,” Jeremy retorted. He won a chuckle out of Ethan, and they continued watching the skies while moving under the shadows of the treetops.
A few minutes later, they heard the drone of the plane as it swooped around once more, and took cover under the trees. Just a second after Mary had joined them in hiding, a bomb hit the ground just a few feet over, and everyone stumbled back from the force of the blast. Thankfully, no one was hurt severely, although two of the soldiers now sported jagged cuts from shrapnel.
“Where did they even get bombs and bomber planes, anyway?” Jeremy asked irritably. As if on cue, two more planes appeared. Then four. Then eight. The very sky was thick with them, and the deafening roar of their engines was intolerable.
“Well? It’s been fun, guys,” Ethan remarked, sounding oddly calm.
“I uh… yeah…” Jeremy responded, still fixated on the incoming battalion.
So this was it, huh? They were all going to die – carpet-bombed until there was nothing even in their former vicinity for a square mile. And with Equestria’s two main princesses gone, that country would plunge into chaos as well. As he viewed his impending demise, Jeremy’s last thought was of his now-destroyed future. He had been planning to have kids. Settle down, raise an immortal family. Maybe even grandkids. His eyes began to water as he considered all that he would lose in the next few seconds, and without him realizing it, he slipped his hand into Luna’s. She looked at him with utmost sympathy, and the rest cast their eyes to the floor. Jeremy closed his own eyes, not wanting to see his friends die around him, and waited.
And waited some more.
…Was that gunfire?
Jeremy opened his eyes.
To his surprise, the bomber planes were not only not bombing them to death, they were exploding themselves. The gunfire he had been hearing earlier was coming from what at first appeared to be a rival group of planes – sleek and black, they had been nearly invisible in the moonlight.
“W…what…?” he stuttered as he watched the entire enemy air force get wrecked, the mysterious new planes working with a speed and precision that suggested faster communication and teamwork than should be possible.
“Who the hell are those guys, and why are they pulling a ‘deus ex machina’ for us?” Ethan wondered.
“Who cares ? Our asses are saved!” another soldier cheered.
In just a few more seconds, the sky was clear of bomber planes, and the soldiers cheered some more. Luna cracked a joyful smile, and Celestia pulled Jeremy into a hug. He gladly returned it – for the moment, at least, they were out of hot water. As one, and with a mathematical precision that would make the Blue Angels green with envy, the allied planes swooped down to land in the park, and everyone scattered to give them space. Impossibly, they glided straight down onto the ground, something no jet should be able to do. Jeremy decided to examine these newcomers more thoroughly – the design of the jet was as sleek and black as it had appeared from above, and highly streamlined. The outer hull appeared to be a smooth, plastic-like substance – fiberglass, maybe? The make was unlike any he’d ever seen, and although he wasn’t quite sure, it reminded him of…
Just then, the cockpit of the closest jet opened, and everyone tried to get a look at the pilot. As soon as Jeremy caught a glimpse, he grinned from ear to ear.
"Miss me?” the pilot greeted, the sibylline tone to her voice as unmistakable as her teal carapace.
“I don’t… where did you… oh, I don’t even care, that was amazing!” Jeremy gushed in response.
Queen Chrysalis gave him a confident grin, fangs jutting out in satisfaction. “I thought you’d be okay with it, but I wasn’t sure. Air Force, dismount!” she called out, and in unison, every other cockpit opened to reveal the changeling pilots inside. To Jeremy’s shock, he saw changelings of every color, and even their queens among the jet pilots.
“You were right, Chrysalis, that was fun,” Myocia commented, her purple shell sparkling in the moonlight. The dark blue one, which Jeremy thought was Queen Ambysto, laughed in response.
“We’ve been developing this in secret ever since we heard about another attack – you can thank Queen Icthyos for most of the plane parts, they were apparently made from shipwrecks,” Chrysalis explained. Jeremy laughed, and sent a grateful glance in said queen’s direction. Ethan, meanwhile, was examining the planes.
“Hey… isn’t this the design I sent you, ages ago?” he asked incredulously. Chrysalis nodded, although her smile was somewhat forced – Jeremy suspected the memory was less than pleasant, in more ways than one.
“Yes… it is.” Jeremy noticed with alarm that the mood had very quickly shifted among the queens at being reminded of Ethan’s history.
“That reminds me… We never paid you back for your original disrespect,” Myocia hissed menacingly as she stepped closer to Ethan, hackles raised.
“Myocia!” Chrysalis sharply admonished.
The purple queen looked over in surprise. “What?”
With that, an unspoken conversation passed between the two, before Chrysalis looked away, disgust present on her features. “…Fine. If you must,” Chrysalis muttered.
Jeremy took a step forward. “Chrysalis!” he alarmedly exclaimed – surely she wouldn’t allow Myocia to kill Ethan, not when he had come so far?
To his surprise, Chrysalis held out a hoof, physically stopping him from reaching the two. “Just wait,” she whispered.
Jeremy gave her an incredibly confused look, before glancing back at Myocia, who had tackled Ethan to the ground, and was lowering her fangs towards his helpless neck. He quickly did a double take – Myocia was kissing Ethan now, lips passionately locked in his. Ethan glanced at Jeremy, and he could swear the look in the other’s eyes meant Oh please God help me I’m terrified . Unsure of what to do, Jeremy could only give a helpless shrug in his direction.
Finally, Myocia got off Ethan, and allowed him to return to his feet, glancing up at him with satisfaction. “Mmm, finally a soldier to my liking,” she remarked, even going so far as to lick her lips.
Ethan stared at her. “Uh… what just happened ?”
Myocia laughed. “Did you think we’d be angry with you for disrespecting our High Queen? It’s what we do all the time, as much as possible. And to nearly defeat her, two alicorns, and the Savior in battle… now there is a male worthy of attention! And once I heard you were single…” she finished, still grinning.
Ethan audibly gulped. “Uh… let’s at least go on a date first, 'kay?” he asked.
Myocia beamed. “Deal. I know some great train wrecks we scavenge parts from often.”
Jeremy, who had been watching this exchange with a mixture of trepidation and admiration, turned back to Chrysalis. “So, now what?” he asked.
Chrysalis’ smile quickly turned to a grimace. “As it turns out, that wasn’t all the planes around here – we saw a bunch more on the way over, and it looked like they were gearing up to join these ones. So… hop in?” She motioned to a space behind her cockpit, which had been cleared out and was just barely large enough for him to sit inside.
“Works for me. Everyone take a jet, we’ll be safer than on the ground,” Jeremy called out to the rest, and the soldiers hesitantly climbed into the changeling fighter jets.
As they made their way in, Jeremy heard one mumbling, “I am climbing into a fighter jet built by an alien insect from a TV show, to fight terrorists. This is totally normal military experience.” Jeremy repressed a chuckle. Celestia waved at him as she climbed into her own jet.
Finally, Chrysalis flew back into her own jet, and closed the hatch. “Off we go, into the wild blue yonder?” Jeremy joked as she began flipping switches.
Chrysalis softly laughed. “Flying high, into the sun… Or moon, as it were,” she returned.
“You know, I… really thought I was going to die back there…” he muttered shamefacedly.
Chrysalis looked at him sharply. “I’d never let you die that easily,” she replied, and Jeremy remembered the last time she’d said something like that. He’d been returning from the Crystal Empire, just before the wedding… It seemed like a dream.
“So… how many more of them do you think there are?” he asked, trying to stay focused.
Chrysalis shrugged. “We saw about fifty more planes. As for ground forces… No idea. Sorry.”
Jeremy gave a resigned sigh. “It’s fine. Plus, we have an air force. They might’ve stood a chance before, but now? They’re done,” he joked optimistically.
“What a turnaround from a few minutes ago,” Celestia remarked into his radio, and he jumped as he realized that it was still on – everyone in the group had probably heard his confession. Dammit .
“Yeah, real funny,” he huffed. “Is there a way to get these planes synced up to the radio, just so the changelings can join in on the fun?” Celestia mused for a moment, and the faint sound of her casting a spell was heard over his suit radio.
“How’s this?” Celestia asked, her voice coming out of the plane’s radio now.
“Perfect, nice work,” Jeremy complimented.
With that, they took off into the night, Jeremy feeling slightly queasy at the sudden shifts of gravity and weather. It wasn’t anything like being in a passenger jet, as there was no cushioning to protect him from the buffeting winds outside the plane. Rather, it was more akin to the time he got to ride Luna in the open sky, except this time he was plenty warm and also holding a shotgun.
“Comfortable?” Chrysalis asked as she expertly adjusted the throttle to keep them steady.
“A little bumpy, but nothing I can’t handle,” Jeremy smiled back.
Queen Chrysalis laughed, motioning towards a second joystick. “Here, you take the guns so I can concentrate on flying.” Jeremy chuckled as he leaned forward to grasp the joystick, thumbing the button on top – he presumed this was to actually fire whatever weapon was installed.
“No heads-up display?” he mock-complained, and Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
12-9-14, 11:01 P.M.
They had been flying for only a few minutes when Dionaea came in over the radio. “That’s them, they’re off to our right and heading for us,” she reported smoothly. Jeremy looked over, and sure enough the stars in that area were being blotted out by a seeming cloud of enemy planes, revealed to be tan-colored by the moonlight.
“I don’t think I’ve ever played a game like this before…” Jeremy muttered, taking aim with the mounted gun.
“First time for everything,” Luna replied, and Chrysalis smirked.
For the next few minutes, all Jeremy could remember was shooting down enemy planes, barely able to distinguish them from their ally counterparts by the different color. Their jet pitched and rolled, presumably Chrysalis’ hoofwork – Jeremy was too far absorbed to pay any attention to what she was doing, and he got the feeling that she too was concentrating too hard to look at what he was doing. The radio was silent, except for the startled grunts and cries of soldiers and changeling queens alike – Chrysalis, to her credit, was completely taciturn compared to the rest.
Jeremy noticed Myocia’s ship was acting a bit crazier than the rest – going into insane dives towards a plane below it, only to shoot through it and pull up at the last second. While Jeremy was a little unnerved by this strategy, it seemed to be working – Myocia’s ship was racking up far more downed planes than any other. He gave a small smile as three enemy planes attacked the other jet, only to find a few seconds later that they had been blown out of the sky.
Chapter 60
12-10-14, 12:10 A.M.
“Sky’s clear, prepare for landing,” Chrysalis called.
Jeremy finally sat back, breathing out a relieved sigh at the order. “Damn, that was intense ,” he mumbled.
Chrysalis gave a shaky laugh as they touched down over Euclid. “Quite… Nice work, Myocia.”
There was a burst of static over the radio, which slowly settled to reveal Myocia’s laughter. “That wasn’t me – I didn’t even touch the controls that whole time,” she declared.
Chrysalis gave Jeremy a confused look. “Then who-“ she began, but was cut off by more laughter, this time recognizable by its mildly insane tinge as Ethan’s.
“T’was I who took the controls!” he dramatically declared.
Jeremy instantly cracked up, and Chrysalis shook her head exasperatedly. “As you humans say, whatever … Nice work, Ethan.”
Once Jeremy had calmed down, they got out of their jets and met on Euclid avenue. “Wow, this group got kind of big,” Jeremy commented as he looked around. Six changeling queens, eight soldiers, Celestia and Luna, Mary, Ethan, and various additional changeling pilots surrounded him – it was a far cry from all the lone fighting he used to do. Though , he reflected, by no means an unwelcome one . “Okay…” he began, and every face turned to look at him. “We’ve been through hell and back – but I still don’t feel like we’re done. So, I guess we should do a sweep through the rest of campus, see what we can find?” Various murmurs of agreement reached his ears, and he was about to continue when he noticed a lone runner approaching them, unarmed and carrying a white flag.
“The hell do you want?” Jeremy rudely asked as soon as the man was within earshot. Celestia shot him a glance, and Jeremy was reminded that he should probably treat the messengers at least with some form of respect. Seeing Chrysalis, the man took a nervous step backward, and Chrysalis smiled dementedly, her insane grin bringing the full length of her sharp fangs into view. The other queens stepped forward, each sporting only a slightly less creepy smile. All in all, it was a very effective intimidation tactic, and Jeremy could tell from the man’s body language that he wanted to run as far away as he could.
“We, ah, wish to send you this message,” the terrorist began nervously, his thick accent obscuring some of his speech.
“If you do not surrender within one hour, a nuclear device will be detonated on-site. All of you will die, as well as everyone within a two-mile radius. The remainder of our army is near the bomb as well – we care not if we die, so long as you die as well. We are located at the national park – you know where it is, yes?” he asked. Jeremy slowly nodded – they were just there an hour ago, after all. “If I am killed, my comrades will know and detonate the bomb instantly,” the man hastily added. With nothing more to add, he stared at them expectantly. Jeremy realized everyone else was looking at him, and cleared his throat.
“Sounds good, er, well, not good obviously but… we’ll get back to you guys within the hour.” With that, the messenger nodded and took off running, full-on sprinting away from their group.
“I bet he was lying about that last bit,” Queen Chroma uttered out of nowhere.
“Saving his own skin, hmm? You might be on to something there, but it’s a bit late to do anything about that,” Chrysalis replied.
“What’re we going to tell them?” A soldier wondered out loud.
An argument quickly broke out amongst the various factions, and Jeremy looked around with dismay. Completely ignoring all other conversations, Ethan walked up to Celestia and Luna.
“Hey, I’ve had a question for a while now,” he began, and they looked at him interestedly.
“Yes?” Luna prompted. “Why didn’t you just use magic to put these guys to sleep?” Ethan asked.
For a moment, all was silent – even the other arguments had died down to hear the answer. For their part, Celestia and Luna looked like deer caught in the headlights of an automobile.
“Out of the mouth of a child,” Celestia muttered, slapping a hand to her forehead.
“We could have done that so much earlier… nopony would’ve had to die!” Luna exclaimed angrily.
Jeremy frowned. “Well, that definitely sucks, but unless you want to throw time travel into the mix, I don’t think dwelling on it is going to do us much good. Can we still use that while we’ve got the chance, though?”
Celestia mulled over this, and from the way they were glancing at each other, Jeremy suspected she and Luna were having another mental conversation.
“Well, putting any more than a few to sleep at once would be beyond our capabilities at this point. So unless thou hast a very specific idea of who to target, such a spell would hardly be helpful,” Luna explained.
“What if… what if we targeted the people around the bomb itself? Or better yet, a spell that makes you get sleepier the closer you are to the bomb,” Jeremy thought aloud.
“That could work, yes!” Celestia enthusiastically replied.
“It’d have to not affect us, though,” Mary pointed out.
Luna nodded. “An easy addition,” she declared.
“Okay, so here’s the new plan, then: Celestia and Luna sneak up invisibly, and wait on the sidelines. As soon as we try to charge in there, they’ll try to detonate the bomb – that’s when the alicorns activate the spell. Meanwhile, we’ll be cleaning house, and one of us will have to defuse the nuke. Anyone know how to do that?” Jeremy asked, looking at the soldiers.
One cleared his throat. “I covered anti-I.E.D. measures in my training, and part of that was nuclear devices. If you can get me close to the bomb, I can probably take it apart.”
Jeremy nodded, flashing a smile. “Nice. Anything else to add?” he concluded, looking around at the motley group.
“Why are the last of them all gathered around the bomb? That’s so dumb,” Ethan commented to general laughter. Jeremy gave an amused shrug.
“Actually, I think they might be using an improvised nuke – they might not have rigged it up to a remote detonator, or something,” a soldier commented. Ethan shrugged, seemingly accepting this line of reasoning.
“Go team,” Jeremy finished with a smirk, and they set off.
Celestia and Luna had vanished into the shadows some time ago, and Jeremy was leading the soldiers and Mary forward. Ethan and the changelings had stayed behind with the jets, ready to go at a moment’s notice. All that was left was to make things official.
“Thank God this is the last fight, I don’t know how much more not knowing I could’ve taken,” Jeremy muttered to Mary.
She looked very different than she had to begin with – her face was ashen and nervous, and her eyes kept rigidly darting side to side as though expecting an ambush. “Yeah… Remind me to retire soon, kid,” she answered distractedly.
Jeremy chuckled, and let her be. The bomb expert, who Jeremy had learned was named Bruce, was to his right, Mary to his left, and everyone else behind him. His armor shone in the moonlight, heavily dented and pockmarked with bullet holes but still unpenetrated, and once again Jeremy was glad his suit was bright white in color – he assumed the terrorists would all go for him first, and the bright colors against the dark night would make it very easy for them, thus drawing fire away from the other, less protected soldiers.
They came upon the entrance to the national park, and Jeremy noticed the damage from the previous session of bombing: Decorative shrubs had been reduced to nothing, parts of the sidewalk were cracked or destroyed entirely, and the area overall looked as heavily hit as any picture of a warzone he’d ever seen.
“Everyone ready?”
Jeremy asked. There were various responses in the affirmative, and swallowing only once, Jeremy stepped into the quiet darkness of the abandoned park.
Waiting there, in an eerie column, were the remainder of the once-large enemy army. They looked gaunt and haggard – evidently the night had been as hard on them as it had been for Jeremy’s group. Jeremy led his procession down the makeshift aisle, feeling surrounded and apprehensive. Making sure his microphone was switched off, he contacted Celestia and Luna over the radio.
“Ready?” he asked.
“On your signal,” Celestia responded, sounding tense.
Jeremy switched his microphone back on, and walked forward. The same messenger from earlier was waiting at the end of the line, hand resting on a metallic cylinder that was only vaguely reminiscent of the bombs Jeremy had seen in historical texts and museums. An oddly disconnected part of him mused that it probably wasn’t cone-shaped due to the lack of necessity for aerodynamicity – it wasn’t being dropped, after all. It had a small red button with a few LEDs on the front, as well as a currently unlit screen that Jeremy assumed was a timer or some such.
“You have your answer?” The messenger asked, sounding equal parts smug and tense.
“Yeah, we do,” Jeremy grumbled, trying to sound as though he were about to accept in an attempt to keep the enemy from acting rashly. “We choose…”
Now , he thought, and Luna sent a terse mental confirmation his way.
Just as the messenger slumped to the floor, asleep, Jeremy shouted “NO!” defiantly, and prepared to fight.
To Jeremy's shock, as the messenger collapsed, his hand found a small red button on the side of the casing, and the man successfully pressed it. A green light blinked on, and the panel on the front lit up to read 05:00 – a countdown clock , Jeremy realized in horror. They had five minutes to disable the bomb.
05:00
Taken by surprise, the terrorists rallied remarkably quickly. One pulled out a radio and yelled something unintelligible into it, and the others quickly shouldered their arms and began firing. Bruce had sprinted over to Jeremy the moment the fight started, and was protected by a shimmering magical shield – Jeremy suspected Celestia and Luna were staying out of the fight in order to provide this protection. He focused on protecting Bruce as well, taking out anyone who was getting too close while Bruce feverishly worked to disable the nuke.
“I think I can do this!” Bruce yelled over the sound of gunfire, but Jeremy was too busy shooting to respond.
“Chrysalis, go!” he yelled into his mic.
He thought Chrysalis gave some snarky reply about how loud he was being, but he had stopped paying attention – as long as she got the message.
04:00
Why was the Final Countdown playing in his head? It wasn’t the suit’s strange music feature, Jeremy was sure of that. It was just his own thoughts. Still, it was oddly fitting. Some bullets ricocheted off his front armor, and he took a moment to send a few of his own back to the assailant, who quickly dropped as he clutched what remained of his heart. Unfortunately, these ones hadn’t forgotten their own armor, which appeared to be made of Kevlar and extremely thick ceramic on both the front and back. Fortunately, Jeremy came prepared. He pulled out his SPAS-12, and tried a few rounds of that – to his satisfaction, they went down much quicker. The rest of the soldiers were on the outskirts, having fled to the edge due to lack of sufficient armor and to provide better suppressive fire. All in all, Jeremy thought the plan was going rather well.
02:48
This thought was quickly stomped to pieces as the all-too familiar drone of a plane engine made itself heard over the noises of battle.
“Shit,” Jeremy swore loudly. “Bruce, how we doing?” he frantically asked.
Bruce had heard the incoming plane as well, and mumbled a string of expletives before turning to him, fingers still rapidly tapping and searching through the innards of the nuke – Jeremy had to admire that kind of hand-eye coordination.
“Just a few more seconds!” he shouted.
Jeremy nodded grimly, and went back to shooting as many terrorists as he could see – it was all he could do. One of the changeling planes appeared far above their heads, and Chrysalis said something into the radio – Jeremy was far too busy watching the other side of the sky to determine what it had been.
The plane finally appeared, a dark blot over the starlit sky. It released its cargo, which screamed down through the atmosphere – too fast , Jeremy thought with increasing panic. Chrysalis had already seen, and shot the plane down – but it was too late. Celestia and Luna couldn’t shield the both of them, let alone everyone else in the area – shielding Bruce was already taking its toll, as evidenced by his magical protection flickering every so often. He needed to do something right now if he wanted to live. Jeremy took out his rocket launcher, praying for a miracle.
“Jeremy, what are you doing?” Bruce screamed, having completely turned away from the nuke.
“Saving our asses,” Jeremy grumbled as he fired off the rocket.
Would this even work? He had no clue, but had to try. Using the laser, he guided the rocket straight towards the bomb, which was still a few hundred feet up, just a tiny dot against the black backdrop of the night sky. Come on, come on, work, dammit! He internally screamed, trying to get the rocket to connect. Finally, just as the bomb became visible above the treetops, the rocket swooped around, caught up with it, and hit the side of the casing, causing both the rocket-propelled grenade and the bomb to explode. Jeremy was blasted to the ground by the shockwave, and so was Bruce – but, wondrously, they were alive.
“Holy shit ,” Bruce commented, slowly picking himself up off the ground.
“Lucky save of a fucking lifetime ,” Jeremy murmured in response. He looked over at the nuclear bomb, the panel dark and the LED a bright red. “You got it?” he asked, and Bruce shakily nodded. “Good. Let’s finish this!” Jeremy cheered, and Bruce gave him a smile before grabbing his AK-47.
“Celestia, do you or Luna have the energy to teleport the deactivated nuke somewhere else?” Jeremy asked over the radio.
“Just… just barely,” Celestia answered, sounding as though she were about to drop. Jeremy’s HUD suddenly reappeared, and Celestia and Luna were visible as a blue and yellow dot respectively off in the distance.
“Come find us,” Luna begged, sounding desperate – Jeremy assumed this was because they would be completely unprotected once they carried out this final act. The nuke disappeared in a flash of white light, and Jeremy took off sprinting towards his wives.
“New plan! Everyone on the ground, follow me!” he shouted into the radio.
“Follow Freeman!” a soldier half-jokingly responded, and Jeremy allowed himself a brief smile before continuing to run and gun to the alicorns’ location.
He found them both passed out behind a tree, just as a terrorist whipped out a shotgun and pointed it at Celestia’s head. Despite his feelings that Celestia could probably survive such injury, Jeremy shakily lowered his gun. Grinning in triumph, the man stepped forward, still pointing the gun at Celestia, only to have his head explode into a red mist. Mary stepped out from behind the tree, shotgun held firmly in hand – she promptly dropped this and stole the gun off the man she’d just killed.
"Defend these two?” she asked, holding down the button on her radio.
“Yes, please,” Jeremy responded, pressing the button for his own.
Now that everyone knew what to do, no terrorist could even get close to Celestia and Luna’s prone forms – every time they tried, they were mercilessly gunned down by a soldier hidden in the trees or some other available cover. Meanwhile, Chrysalis was carrying on her fight up above, plane parts raining down onto campus as bomber after bomber was shot down. Ethan could occasionally be heard laughing maniacally as he piloted his own ship, easily proving himself to be a one-man force of nature when it came to ruling the sky.
12-10-14, 3:42 A.M.
There was only one red dot left on Jeremy’s HUD, a single man who was clearly running out of bullets. His frantic wails in his native language only grew louder as Jeremy’s group cornered and surrounded him.
“Should we kill him?” a soldier asked calmly, wiping the sweat off his brow.
“I don’t see why not,” another muttered.
“What about pressing him for information? You know, give him over to the CIA, let them work their magic,” a third commented tensely.
Jeremy grimaced. “Haven’t you heard the recent news? Death would be preferable,” he replied.
But before they could do anything, it seemed the man had made his own choice. In the space of just a second, he pointed the barrel of his rifle to his temple, and pressed the trigger. There was a small but loud bang, and the other side of his head burst outward as he slumped to the floor.
“…Or that could happen,” Jeremy muttered.
He surveyed the sky – it was still dark, but he could see Chrysalis’ planes landing, the pilots getting out and congratulating each other. Myocia had pulled Ethan into another kiss, and this time Ethan passionately responded. As Jeremy fondly regarded the scene, he removed his helmet, feeling as though he were forgetting something. Then it hit him.
“Oh, shit , I need to study for my chemistry final,” he exclaimed suddenly.
Chrysalis burst into laughter, and held out a hoof. “Come on, husband,” she said, sounding exhausted, relieved, and a few other emotions Jeremy couldn’t quite place.
“Let’s get you home.”
12-25-14, 4:27 P.M.
“Hey, you guys made it!” Jeremy cheerfully greeted as he opened the door to his house. They were back home in Washington for the holidays, and he had decided to throw a Christmas party for everyone who had been through what had eventually became known as “The Night”. The media attention was still a problem – even now, he could see a reporter who was steadfastly arguing with local police trying to get him off the property – but he didn’t mind. The delicious smell of cookies wafted through the air, and Luna walked over, her hooves gently clopping against the wooden floor as she levitated a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies to the waiting soldiers. John and Bruce stepped in, each gratefully accepting a cookie and greeting Luna before turning left to enter the living room, where Ethan and Myocia were discussing their recent wedding. Jeremy smiled at the memory – Ethan had asked him to be best man, and he wouldn’t have dared say no with the look Myocia had been giving him. But some memories were not so pleasant.
The Case Western community had returned to find their campus mysteriously fixed the next morning, with not a hint of carnage or debris everywhere. Even the blood that had spattered Euclid Avenue, among other places, had vanished without a trace, though the twin smells of gunpowder and uncooked meat were much more reluctant to disappear. Jeremy, as true to form as he had ever been, had slept until noon before getting up and hurriedly studying for his last final of the semester. Once he had taken said final, he traipsed his way back to his dorm, greeting each curious passersby with a tired smile and a wave before returning to sleep. The next afternoon, he had awoken and packed for home, but not before having a quick conversation with his roommate, who agreed to keep the portal hidden while he was traveling, as well as keep the general secret of Equestria’s existence. Upon arriving at the airport, he had been surprised to find Mary waiting for him, though he had suspected she’d appear again eventually – her explanation of having to follow him everywhere claimed as much. Most of the soldiers had been given various medals of honor by the President, who knew nothing more than what everyone was saying – that a massive army of terrorists had attacked Case Western, and been driven off by the combined efforts of Jeremy and the soldiers, among others.
“Hey, Jeremy, come tell them about our first meeting,” Luna called over, snapping him out of his reverie. Jeremy grinned, and sauntered over, taking a seat on the only remaining couch space.
“Well, sure, why not. It all started when I was driving home from school…”
Chapter 61
1-11-15, 4:30 A.M.
Jeremy had woken up bright and early, savoring the pre-dawn hours as he got ready to depart for his flight back to Ohio. The last of the Christmas cookies had long since departed, and with no more parties or gatherings to put together, he and his wives were mainly concentrated on getting him back to school. Jeremy had attempted to make plans for the summer as well, but they were having none of it – Chrysalis had insisted that he take the summer off and spend more time with them, and the two princesses had agreed. Jeremy could almost hear Celestia talking about how he needed to start ‘integrating himself more effectively into Equestrian life’ as he cooked a quick breakfast. He smiled at the memory, and hurriedly ate before stepping outside into the cold Seattle winter.
The plane flight was, as usual, long and boring. Jeremy slept through half of it, and only woke himself up to watch as they landed – that never got old. He’d brought back more than a few comforts of home this time, as the last semester he had been too distracted by Equestria to think about what he could do in his off time. He was still stretching out his legs by the time he made his way to the train platform, and as he waited for the train to arrive, he was reminded of another conversation they’d had over winter break.
1-6-15, 9:28 P.M.
Jeremy gulped nervously as he made his way downstairs. He’d just gotten a message claiming there was a ‘family meeting’ occurring in two minutes, and he wasn’t sure if he was in trouble or if something else had gone horribly wrong. Catching sight of his three wives sitting around the table as though this were an important business conference wasn’t exactly helping, either. Chrysalis smirked at him as he took a seat.
“You’d think from the looks of things we were about to announce a divorce. Relax, nothing’s wrong,” she soothed, and Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief.
“I dunno about you three, but here on Earth, ‘we need to talk’ is the number-one sentence said before a breakup,” he answered with a short laugh. Celestia merely smiled as she sipped her tea, but Jeremy thought he could detect a gleam of interest in her eyes as she glanced back at him – and was that nervousness? By now thoroughly interested himself, he gazed around at the other three. “So… what are we talking about?” he asked after a short pause. At this, the three mares seemed to freeze up.
Finally, Chrysalis took a deep breath. “We want kids!” she blurted, then covered her mouth with her hooves.
Jeremy raised both his eyebrows – which, to anyone who knew him, was an expression of utmost shock. “All three of you,” he clarified, and Celestia and Luna slowly nodded.
Jeremy took a moment to consider this. Did he really want kids? Sure, the thought sounded nice – he’d heard plenty of romanticism on the part of childbearing families on the subject. But, on the other hand, he’d been a kid not so long ago himself – and he had been one of the worse ones, in his opinion. A bratty, loudmouth, cheating, lying, stealing, stubborn little kid – did he really want to put up with that for years on end? He decided to get more information on the subject.
“What are… what are kids like, on your end?” he carefully asked the three.
Celestia and Luna gave each other a look, before turning to Chrysalis. Grumpily, Chrysalis turned to Jeremy and began. “Changeling grubs are pretty much like what you saw in the hive most of the time – they’ll do just about anything for attention and love,” she explained briefly.
Jeremy smiled, thinking back to the many changeling babies he’d met – at all times, they’d presented themselves as nothing short of adorable. “Well, if that’s all, I can certainly handle that,” he claimed, satisfied. Chrysalis gave him a surprised look, and he returned it. “What? They don’t require food, changing, or anything like that, just cuddling and love, right? Most parents would kill for a child that easy to handle,” Jeremy retorted, stopping his smirk only when Celestia and Luna winced. “Oh, right, sorry. Uh… most parents would… Ah, you know what I mean,” he huffed. He’d been trying to tone down the inherent violence of his culture, but occasionally something like that would slip through, and ponies would look at him like he’d just said he wanted to murder Twilight Sparkle in public.
“Well, pony foals do require that kind of care,” Luna reminded him.
Jeremy nodded. “I know, just saying that changelings didn’t. Anyway, go on?” he prompted.
This time Celestia spoke up. “What you’ve seen on the show of the Cake twins and Cutie Mark Crusaders is, for the most part, an accurate synopsis – though most foals are less… headstrong,” she finished, looking guilty – Jeremy often wondered if it was actually difficult for her to think ill of her subjects.
He gave a thoughtful hum. “Well, that sounds doable as well. Really, the only thing I can think of that would convince me to not have kids right now is our culture’s insistence that we wait until we’re in our 20’s – and seeing as I’m not going to age…” he trailed off, still thinking.
“Thy birthmother had thee when she was but a year older than thou,” Luna pointed out – this had come up in the few conversations about Jeremy’s childhood that he had been able to tolerate.
“True, but I don’t think that was a wise decision – after all, I was adopted…” Jeremy rebutted. Luna considered this, finally giving a snort of frustration.
Celestia looked at her, amused, before turning back to Jeremy. “Well, as our relationship can attest to, you’ve never been one for ‘following the rules’, so to speak,” she replied, and this stumped Jeremy for a moment.
He thought about this for a solid minute, finally coming up with a blank – they had him there. “Okay, well, if you three really think I can handle it, then I suppose we can give it a shot.”
From there, they had moved on to discussing the ‘how’. Jeremy had been quick to point out that he was genetically incompatible with all three of them in terms of offspring, and Chrysalis was just as quick to rebut that hybridized offspring were possible, as well as genetic transformation.
“Would that be… permanent?” Jeremy asked cautiously.
Chrysalis shook her head, giggling slightly. “No, we could change you back at any time. After all, we’ve had plenty of opportunity to ‘study’ your body…” All four suppressed chuckles.
“Well, I suppose that takes care of that. Turn into a pony, have a wild night, and wait… how many months do your species ‘carry’?” Jeremy asked.
“About eleven months,” Luna informed him, and Jeremy raised an eyebrow. Nine months was bad enough, but eleven? Wow. Mares must be incredibly resilient to be able to do that , he reflected.
“Gestation takes about two months for the average changeling – faster if there’s a lot of love available,” Chrysalis continued. Jeremy raised his eyebrows at her.
“Just two months? Impressive,” he remarked. Judging from the expressions on Celestia and Luna’s faces, this came as news to them as well.
“Not quite, I’m not done,” Chrysalis replied irritably. “That’s for drones. For queens , gestation takes a lot longer – anywhere between six months to a year, and the egg is almost always a queen egg. Queens usually didn’t breed much until they were near the end of their cycle, but with our relatively new societal structure, it’d probably be best to raise a changeling queen normally rather than dump the responsibility on them,” Chrysalis finished.
“Agreed,” Jeremy responded simply.
They had discussed the myriad other aspects of raising children, and ended the conversation with the usual kisses and hugs. After that, Chrysalis had taken him upstairs, as it was her day of the week, and Jeremy grinned as she led him along.
1-11-15, 7:02 A.M.
Jeremy’s memory-induced grin slid off his face as he realized he was late for his boarding group, and he hurriedly packed up his stuff and made his way to the line. Apart from the usual mild crowding issues, he got on the plane without incident, and texted his wives a status update. With that done, he turned his phone to airplane mode and settled back in the plane seat – it was going to be a long and restless ride. After he had watched the plane take off from inside the window with all the fascination that such an event demanded, Jeremy settled back once more and closed his eyes, figuring he should get some shuteye. Before he quite made it into dreamland, however, another memory made its way to the surface…
1-8-15, 3:22 P.M.
“Ethan! It’s been all of one day since I last saw you, how’s life been?” Jeremy asked as the aforementioned veteran traipsed through his front door.
“Move-in to the Roaming Hive finished yesterday – and Myocia still thinks I should’ve packed more,” Ethan mock-complained. Jeremy laughed and motioned him over to the counter, where Jeremy quickly began preparing a drink.
“Anything new with you?” he asked, as Ethan took a seat and politely waited.
“Nah, except all the other queens are ticked at Myocia. They all say it’s because she married too quickly for a queen of her composure, but she and I both know they just want a piece of this hot action,” Ethan joked, motioning to his chest. Jeremy chuckled, but took a moment to look Ethan over. Gone were his gaunt, hallowed face and thin chest with visible ribs, and in their place were the beginnings of toned muscle and healthy features. Ethan had kept his shoulder-length, curly brown hair, but it was starting to look significantly better-kept.
“So, are the other queens even allowed to try, with you married?” Jeremy asked in return.
Ethan hummed in thought. “Well, the rules for ‘normal’ marriage are already right properly screwed, as you know, because of the whole ‘interspecies’ thing and stuff. So… I dunno, maybe? If it did work out, I could maybe do a series of marriages or something like that,” Ethan mused out loud.
He trailed off, mumbling to himself as he became lost in thought, and Jeremy set down the finished drink in front of him. “Oh, what, no alcohol?” Ethan said after a moment, having finally noticed his drink.
“I don’t keep alcohol in the house, for age reasons,” Jeremy explained. Ethan grumbled, taking a reluctant sip of the beverage.
“One day, you and I are gonna go out to an Equestrian bar and get hella drunk,” he admonished sternly, as though educating Jeremy on a life lesson.
Jeremy snorted in amusement. “Not likely – I don’t think my public reputation would be strong enough to survive that.” Ethan considered this for a moment.
“What is your P.R. at the moment, anyway? Last I heard, the civvies like you just fine, but I haven’t heard jack from the higher-ups besides the princesses themselves.”
Jeremy shrugged, now ruminating on this as well. “No idea. Every time I ask, they always tell me it’s nothing to worry about and that they’ll take care of anything that goes wrong.”
Ethan looked at him askance as he took a sip. “You sure that’s a good plan? Seems like something’s gonna boil over eventually, and then you’ll all be in for it.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“That’s what I said,” he grumbled in response, and Ethan laughed.
“Ah well, Canterlot nobility can’t be all that bad – especially compared to their Earth counterparts. Imagine if we had to deal with Congress, for example.” This successfully put a smile back onto Jeremy’s face as he contemplated the thought of having to deal with human politicians.
1-11-15, 8:30 P.M.
Jeremy sighed in relief as he collapsed onto the hotel bed, kicking off his shoes and pulling out his phone. Once he had texted his mares about his arrival, he set about unpacking the bare necessities for the night: Toiletries, a pair of pajamas, and a few other things. They quickly responded back in acknowledgement, and Jeremy smiled as he slowly got up to take a shower – he’d spent upwards of six hours sitting in place, and it had been bothering him for quite some time.
Once he got out of the shower, skin still slightly steaming from the hot water, he pulled out his laptop and checked his email. Finding nothing of interest, he browsed around for a brief period and then decided to go to sleep, as he’d be catching the train back to campus tomorrow and it was quite a walk.
As Jeremy dozed off, he became aware of a persistent buzzing, as though someone were mentally trying to reach him. Before he could discern if it was actually anything of note, however, he fell asleep.
To his surprise, he ‘awakened’ immediately in the dream world, Luna by his side.
“There thou art! We were just trying to reach thee, when thou decided t’would be a good idea to fall asleep!” Luna chided.
“Sorry, didn’t know. What’s up?” Jeremy asked, as the scene around them shifted to a memory of the royal castle. At this, Luna stopped puffing up her chest in indignation and almost looked contrite.
“Ah… well… we were to inform thee that perhaps it would be best if thou didst avoid returning to Equestria for some time,” she told him.
Jeremy’s jaw could have hit the floor. “Wha- what happened, what did I do?” he asked, mind racing.
"Nay, tis’ not thy fault – well….” Luna paused for a moment in consideration. “No. Thou hast done nothing wrong. Just… do it? For us?” she asked. Jeremy looked at her – what was even going on?
“O…kay…” he finally answered, still very confused and more than a little dismayed.
“We thank thee, and would like to apologize – this was not our intention for thy return to school,” she sadly remarked, head lowered.
“It’s okay, I’m sure you have a good reason,” Jeremy comforted her, wishing he could comfort himself. At this, Luna looked away, seemingly more uncomfortable than ever.
“Yes… er… bye!” she called over her shoulder as she teleported out of the memory.
For a moment, Jeremy was left standing there, even more thoroughly confused than he had been a minute ago, and slightly wishing the conversation had never happened. However, Luna’s usual dream enchantment wore off just a few seconds later, and his conscious mind slowly slipped away once more as his dreams took back over.
Chapter 62
1-25-15, 9:39 P.M.
It had been quite a while since Jeremy’s last trip to Equestria, and he was beginning to get very suspicious. He had attempted to press his wives for any details regarding their mysterious cutoff of contact, but his texts inevitably resulted in vague answers that only served to frustrate him more. Finally, after hours of agonizingly circular arguments, he had decided. He was going to head back to Equestria and see what this was all about. Jeremy hastily threw on some clothes and opened the closet, stepping through the portal cautiously.
Jeremy wasn’t sure what he had been expecting – nothing looked different… Was there some surprise planned for him that he wasn’t aware of? No, he thought he could tell from what vague information he had dredged out of those useless text messages – this was something decidedly negative in nature.
He skulked around the castle corridors, avoiding sight as he tried to discern what could possibly be happening. More than once he had to enter a room to avoid the staff; thankfully it was a Sunday and activity was rather low. Finally, he made his way to the throne room undetected, only to stare.
The first thing odd about the sight was that both Celestia and Luna were on the throne together, answering questions. They looked extremely tired, and Jeremy’s former irritability bled away to be replaced with pangs of sympathy. The reason for their plight was made evident by a glance to his right: Several dozen ponies had gathered in some sort of protest. Jeremy took a moment to actually listen to what they were saying, and he could vaguely make out such statements as “gone too far” and “crimes against nature”. Being a human of somewhat sharp intellect, Jeremy deduced that Celestia and Luna had informed the public of their childbearing intent, and it had gone rather badly.
Jeremy considered striding in there and attempting to take care of things himself, but he got the impression he would only manage to make things worse, and thus refrained. He would have sighed, but that might have given away his position. Speaking of which, a night guard had spotted him hidden in the shadows, and he slowly raised a finger to his lips, hoping she would understand. To his relief, she briskly nodded and whispered in the ear of the other nearby guards. Jeremy briefly wondered how they could hear her over the clamoring din of the protesters, but remembered Luna telling him that her bat-pony guards had much better hearing than most others.
He turned back to the protesting group, to find that Celestia had gotten off her throne, evidently intending to end her shift, and was walking towards him. Alarmed, Jeremy quickly moved behind a pillar, still out of sight of the others, and tried not to think too hard – he wasn’t quite sure just how powerful her empathic capabilities were. To his dismay, she stopped, and looked around as though searching for him. After a moment, she shrugged it off and continued upstairs to her chambers, muttering under her breath. Jeremy watched to make sure she was gone, then sighed in relief as ponies cleared out of the throne room. With the night guards watching, he disappeared back to the relative safety of his dorm room.
Once there, he fumed for a moment, caught up in his own irritation – at the protesters, yes, but a significant part was directed at Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis – they had kept this a secret from him! Did they think he was five years old, or something?! Jeremy briefly considered kicking something in frustration, but thought better of it, instead pulling out his phone. He was about to text Celestia and the others to come see him right this moment, but after a bit of hard critical thinking he decided against that as well – Celestia was probably fast asleep by now, Luna was likely incredibly tired, and while Chrysalis might be able to converse with him, he didn’t think much would be accomplished by just the two of them. Instead, he texted: “Group meeting. Tomorrow, after dinner. Place doesn’t matter. This is not up for debate.” With that done, a pang of guilt resounded through him for being so harsh with them, only to ebb as self-righteous indignation once again replaced it. He had every right to be mad at them! Well, no, maybe not. Jeremy continued to cycle his thoughts as he slowly went to sleep.
1-26-15, 5:20 P.M.
Jeremy had been checking his phone all day, with no response. This only served to infuriate him more, and people noticed his dark look as he walked about campus, whispering to themselves as they moved out of his path. Of course, they didn’t know the reason why – to them, he was just the hero who saved campus, and who was now visibly upset at something. As per usual, he ate dinner alone in the dining hall, quickly finishing his meal and placing his plate on the conveyor belt before heading back to his dorm room.
Once there, he checked his messages, and was somewhat pleased to find that they had responded – Celestia had offered the use of a conference room that Jeremy seemed to remember was very close to the portal, and hadn’t been used in decades. Clearly a tactic to keep him as out of sight as possible, then. He grimaced, sent back a message accepting this, and headed through the portal to wait.
The conference room was old, and slightly dusty, the sunlight filtering in through the windows visible by the motes of dust that reflected it. Jeremy hardly had to wait a few minutes before Celestia walked in, instantly startled by his presence but just as quickly hiding it.
“Oh… hello, didn’t think you’d be here so fast,” she remarked.
Jeremy merely raised an eyebrow. “Where are the others?” he asked, trying his best to sound polite.
“Luna is on her way, and Chrysalis should be here any moment now,” Celestia answered, a notable hint of nervousness in her voice.
True to form, Luna walked in just a few minutes later with Chrysalis in tow, chatting amicably until they saw Jeremy. Falling silent, they took seats around the table and waited expectantly.
Jeremy surveyed them with an unamused look. “So. When were you going to tell me?” he asked, and Celestia’s eyes went wide.
She looked over at Luna, who shook her head, before turning back to him. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Celestia replied, trying to collect herself. Jeremy gave her a glare, and she flinched.
“Do not lie to me,” Jeremy hissed. “I went through here yesterday to see what all the fuss was about. Saw a bunch of protesters talking about ‘crimes against nature’, and you two fending them off,” he explained, pointing a finger at Celestia and Luna, who both flinched. By now, Jeremy was already getting thoroughly worked up. “What, am I just a toy to you? Something to be put away and hidden when it doesn’t suit you?”
Luna attempted to interject with “Nay, that was not what we meant at all -“ but Jeremy was having none of it.
He rounded on her, eyes fairly blazing with anger. “Then what is it!? Why, when this issue primarily concerns us as a family, did nopony think to ask me ?!”
At this, Celestia burst into tears, and Jeremy finally snapped out of his tirade. “I… I’m sorry…” he stammered, unnerved by her emotional response.
“No, it’s my fault. I’ve failed you… I’ve failed you again ,” Celestia whimpered.
At this, Jeremy was just confused. “Again?” he wondered out loud.
Celestia looked up at him, with tearstained eyes. “I just didn’t want to hurt you like I’ve done before – please, you have to believe me!” she begged.
It finally occurred to Jeremy that she was talking about her original possession, way back when. “Hey… I don’t blame you for the first time, I never did…” Jeremy answered, lifting her head up to look at him.
“But I…” Celestia began, but Jeremy silenced her with a kiss. After a moment, he pulled away, a hand trailing through her mane as he gazed deeply into her magenta eyes.
“It’s okay. I’m not… I’m not really mad,” he admitted with a small laugh. “I just… you guys need to include me in this sort of thing, okay?” he asked. Celestia sniffled, remaining silent.
“We… can do that,” Luna carefully answered, having watched the whole thing with a worried expression.
“For what it’s worth, I advocated that from the beginning,” Chrysalis muttered.
“So, what exactly happened?” Jeremy asked, once the tension had died down a bit – Celestia was still crying a bit as he hugged her, but both had otherwise calmed down. Luna scuffed a hoof.
“We… announced our intent to have children to the public. T’was meant to be a joyous occasion… and most citizens took it as such. However… the nobles, as soon as the announcement was over, they began pestering us, under the impression that we would produce a hybrid pony-human, and one brought up the subject of Lord Tirek and everypony started panicking…”
Jeremy could almost sympathize with that: the prospect of a magic-consuming child was a daunting one. “Did you tell them about the plans to transform me into a pony?” he asked after a moment of silence, and Luna nodded.
“We did, but then they went off about ‘equine purity’ – they seem determined to hate thee.”
Jeremy mentally grimaced – racists . “Huh… well… now what? I don’t think these are the kind of ponies that will be appeased by any form of logic…” he wondered out loud. “How many ponies agree with them?” he asked Luna.
She muttered darkly. “Initially, not many. But, gold changed hooves, and minds with them…”
Jeremy’s frown went deeper. “I’m almost tempted to just spite them and go through with it… but that wouldn’t exactly help your reputation,” he nodded at Celestia, who was too busy snuggling up to him to even notice.
“Ah… sister, we know thou hast been away for a while… but don’t thou think thou art overdoing it?” Luna gently chastised. To Jeremy’s surprise, Celestia stuck her tongue out.
“You’re just jealous you aren’t being cuddled, Lulu,” she answered. Luna appeared equally taken aback by her behavior, and Jeremy looked down at Celestia in concern.
“Are you… okay?” he asked.
“M’not. More cuddling,” Celestia answered, once more burying her muzzle into his chest as her wings wrapped around him – Jeremy was quickly engulfed by a wall of white feathers.
Jeremy turned to the others, giving them the best ‘alright what the hell’ look he could muster. Chrysalis deeply sighed.
“I hate to break it to you, Jeremy, but Celestia hasn’t been allowed to show real, raw emotion for a thousand years now - she's a princess, she's got to be all regal and motherly all the time. So, every time she tries to romance somepony, they turn away due to how clingy she is, and the cycle continues. She didn’t do it this time, because as she stated, she was very afraid of you turning away from her, but she could only hold it back for so long.” Celestia whipped her head up to face Chrysalis, outraged. “Hey, I just tell it like I see it,” Chrysalis countered. Celestia grumbled for a moment, then went back to where she had been, mane obscuring Jeremy’s vision. Jeremy gave a deep sigh of his own, giving Celestia a small back rub.
“Let me just get this out of the way: I will not leave you guys for being emotional, or weird, or just plain silly. We’re married now, remember? Bound to stick it through the good times, and the bad. If I only loved you three on good days, I’d be a terrible person.” At this, Celestia gave an anguished wail and hugged him even tighter, crushing Jeremy’s ribcage as she gave great heaving sobs. “Shhh… just let it out…” Jeremy soothed, vaguely attempting to pry her hooves off his chest before he suffocated.
A few moments later, Celestia let go and stood up, back arching as she took a seat next to him, face red from embarrassment.
“I… may have overreacted…” she admitted, grinning a little.
Jeremy chuckled. “We both did. Let’s just treat it as a learning experience, yeah?” Celestia looked at him, eyebrow raised.
“And what did you learn?” she asked somewhat incredulously.
Jeremy snickered. “To cuddle you significantly more often,” he answered with a straight face, and Luna and Chrysalis giggled along with him as Celestia’s face went tomato-red.
“I – that’s not –“ she spluttered, and Jeremy laughed louder.
“Friendship lesson of the ages right there, does someone have the Journal of the Two Sisters on hoof?” he continued, and Chrysalis collapsed in fits of laughter.
From there, the topic turned back to their having children. “So, we wondered what thou would look like as a pony…” Luna remarked, smirking as a glazed look came into her eye.
Chrysalis licked her lips. “Delicious, I would think,” the hive queen added, looking at Jeremy and waggling her eyebrows for effect.
Jeremy chuckled. “Lies and slander!” he rebutted, and Celestia giggled.
“The wings would have to be nice and big… oh, and the horn...,” Luna muttered out loud, lost in thought.
Jeremy looked over at her. “Wait. Wings and horn?” he asked.
Luna snapped out of her reverie and turned to face him, confused. “Yes, thou wouldst be an alicorn, like us… Is that not what thou wanted?”
Jeremy grimaced. “Well…” he began, and all three turned to him, expressions of shock and hurt written across Celestia and Luna’s faces. Jeremy quickly backpedaled. “No, it’s not like that!” he hurriedly got out. “It’s just – I don’t feel like I’ve… earned it.” At this, the room went silent.
“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
Jeremy tried to come up with something resembling a reason. “I mean… you two control the sun and moon, which are huge responsibilities. Cadance has power over love, a very important emotion. And Twilight… Twilight defeated four major Equestrian enemies, wrote new magic, and is the Element of Magic itself to boot. So, if I were an alicorn, what responsibility would I have? And would I really have earned something like that?”
Chrysalis stared at him for a moment, before slamming her head into the table – not enough that it would’ve hurt, but certainly enough to get her point across. “Only you,” she spat. “Only you would defeat several changeling armies, your own military, save the lives of two alicorns and a changeling queen, bring about peace between two nations… and think you haven’t earned alicornhood yourself. What more do you think you’d have to do, hmm?” Jeremy thought about this, drawing a blank. “Exactly,” Chrysalis pressed on. “Face it, you’ve earned it. Now sit down and take your reward.”
Jeremy huffed another sigh. “Okay, I guess, but I still don’t feel comfortable about it. And I would like you to respect that.”
Luna, to his surprise, nodded. “If thou dost not want to be an alicorn, then we cannot force it upon thee.”
Chrysalis, after looking at her for a moment, rolled her eyes and gave in. “Fine, whatever, I respect your choice,” she grumbled.
Chapter 63
2-6-15, 7:57 P.M.
After their rather emotional conversation, Jeremy had agreed to lay low on Earth for a while longer, provided that they kept him updated on events on their end. To their credit, his wives had made very sure to keep their word: He received texts almost every night detailing every new exploit the nobles were attempting in their efforts to prevent his family from having kids. Some were comically easy for Celestia and Luna to defeat, but some had proved harder to outwit, to the point where the issue had taken over the Day and Night Courts.
“We haven’t seen a debate this popular since Twilight became a Princess,” read one text from Luna.
“This reminds me of how Courts used to go before Luna returned,” another from Celestia went.
Jeremy usually responded sympathetically, or with his own ideas on how to combat whatever anti-coupling legislation they were trying to push through.
Meanwhile, he was going through his second semester of college. So far, it had been once again rather uneventful, though he was starting to explore a bit more. To occupy himself while his wives were away, he had buried himself in his studies. He was just finishing up his physics homework when, to his surprise, Queen Chrysalis walked through the portal in the closet, peeking out to make sure his roommate wasn’t there before opening the door.
“Hey, didn’t expect you. What’s up?” Jeremy asked.
Chrysalis grinned. “Well… We were talking, and the other two agreed that since I don’t play a part in Equestrian politics, I was free to visit you and keep you company.”
Jeremy leaned back, stretching out and relaxing. “That sounds great, actually.” He gestured for Chrysalis to join him on the bed, and she gladly did so, her wings buzzing quietly as she flew up onto it.
As Jeremy got on, the bed squeaked in protest, and Chrysalis giggled. “Gaining some weight?” she taunted.
Jeremy grinned. “I think it was a delayed reaction from your getting on, actually,” he retorted, and Chrysalis laughed.
With their usual banter done for the moment, the two moved on to Jeremy’s favorite activity – cuddling. He ran a finger along Chrysalis’ ear as they lay together on the bed, and she quivered slightly.
“Oh… those fingers of yours… I missed those,” she quietly mumbled.
Jeremy laughed, moving his hand along her neck before he started rubbing her belly. “So… what did the hive say when you said we were going to have kids?”
Chrysalis stifled her own soft laughter. “They asked if they could ‘help’.” Jeremy burst into barely restrained giggles, practically vibrating with suppressed laughter.
“And what’d you say to that?” Jeremy asked, still chuckling slightly.
Chrysalis turned to face him. “I said that you were mine… and I, yours,” she answered. Jeremy gave out a soft “aww” in response.
They lay there for a moment longer, saying nothing, until a scream interrupted them, causing Jeremy to bolt upright.
“That sounded like Luna,” he declared, and Chrysalis pushed him back down onto the bed.
“I’m very sorry, but you’re going to have to trust in me. We can’t afford you making things worse, and I promise to report back to you,” she hurriedly replied.
Jeremy looked at her for a second while his internal rational side fought his emotional one, finally barely winning. “…Okay. Be back soon?” he pleaded, and Chrysalis grimly nodded, speeding off with a buzz of her wings.
She was back just a few minutes later, trying to hide a grin. Jeremy looked up as soon as she arrived, wondering what her expression was about as she flew right back into bed with him.
“…So?” he asked.
Startled, Chrysalis looked up at him guiltily. “Right, right. Um… How do I say this…?” she pondered.
Finally, after some prolonged giggling, she appeared to have come up with an answer. “So, Princess Luna was answering questions from that same group of protesters, you know the ones…” she began. Jeremy nodded. “And, one of them called you a ‘royal pet’, and she… well, how does it go on Earth? ‘Flipped a table?’” she finished, looking at him for confirmation.
“Yeah, that’s the correct phrase, I think,” Jeremy answered.
Chrysalis smiled, pleased at having gotten it right. “Anyway, that’s why she screamed – it was actually “how dare you”, but it got muffled from this distance.”
Jeremy nodded once in dawning comprehension. Chrysalis chuckled for a moment before continuing. “As for the noble… he’s been dismissed from the court, for a very long time if he’s lucky.”
Jeremy smiled, but then frowned. “But wouldn’t that be bad for Luna’s reputation?” he asked.
Chrysalis shook her head. “Even the other nobles knew he had gone a step too far – from what Luna told me after the fact, the others immediately distanced themselves from him.”
Jeremy laughed. “Point for us, then,” he concluded.
With that, they went right back to cuddling, Chrysalis leaning into his forearm and her wings softly twitching as she gave out a hum of contentment.
“Ah… this is the life,” she muttered softly, fangs gently pressing into his forearm.
“Wait ‘til I’m out of college,” Jeremy sighed.
Chrysalis laughed. “By then you’ll be a father…”
Jeremy looked down at her, nestled perfectly in front of him, the fluorescent light creating an iridescent sheen on her dark gray carapace and her teal hair, and was almost compelled to shed a single manly tear at her beauty. Instead, he buried his face in her hair, taking care to avoid her horn.
“Can’t wait,” he mumbled, curling up around her, and Chrysalis looked up at him in surprise before smiling herself.
“I love you,” she whispered, and Jeremy circled a finger around the green rings that lined her belly.
“I love you too,” he whispered in return, and kissed her on the forehead. His only regret about these moments was that they didn’t happen more often.
It was a full hour before Chrysalis shifted and wriggled out of his grip, and Jeremy sat up as he rubbed the lethargy out of his eyes.
“We need to do that more often…” Chrysalis remarked, stretching as Jeremy hopped off the bed.
“Yeah, that would be nice…” Jeremy noted.
“You know what? I used to think of love as what you did before: Acts of heroism, the valiant knight in shining armor,” Chrysalis mused. “But now… I think love is quieter than that. Like… like a soft, small flame, instead of a sudden explosion…” she trailed off. “Sorry, I’m no poet,” Chrysalis apologized.
Jeremy smiled. “No, that was great. It reminded me of an old human saying: The candle that burns twice as bright lasts half as long.”
Chrysalis grinned. “That was it! I heard that somewhere before…”
Jeremy stepped out for a moment to brush his teeth, eyes still half-lidded from sleepiness and contentment. When he came back, Chrysalis was waiting, the door to the portal open.
“Come see me again sometime soon?” Jeremy asked, trying not to sound like he was begging.
“As soon as I can,” Chrysalis promised.
With that, they shared a quick kiss and Chrysalis slowly stepped through the portal, Jeremy reluctantly closing the door behind her.
With that, he turned off the lights and jumped into bed once more – but now something felt wrong. With Chrysalis absent, he felt alone in his bed – the closest Jeremy could liken the feeling to was being a single object in a container that should normally contain hundreds. As he ruminated about this some more, it occurred to Jeremy that he was lonely – and that Chrysalis’ visit, instead of rectifying that situation, had simply made it worse. Like an addict, he was now suffering from withdrawal – but instead of a drug or food, his cravings were of the sight, and touch of his wives. Grumbling, Jeremy rolled over in the dark.
As he tried to ignore this feeling, he became aware of that peculiar mental separation that connotated projected feelings from one or more of his wives – it had been hard to discern earlier, because it was the exact same feeling as he had been having. Jeremy would have telepathically replied, but he didn’t know what to say. So, instead, he called up a memory – their first night together as a group of four, and the resulting splash fight in the royal bath. Instantly, a smile was brought to his face as the happy memories played out in his mind, and the subtle shifting of his wives’ emotions told him that they too were reliving that joyful night. Jeremy, having successfully distracted himself, drifted off to sleep…
2-10-15, 9:17 A.M.
All had been quiet on the Equestrian front – this was not for lack of response, as Celestia and Luna had assured him that the fervor over their having children had died down some. Celestia had been successful in convincing her subjects of the merits of the notion, despite the efforts of the nobles – who were also beginning to come around. Luna, meanwhile, had set the cause back slightly by her outburst – as Jeremy predicted, the nobles turned around and made this a bigger deal than it should have been. A few words from Luna made them reconsider, and Jeremy had to appreciate the effectiveness of her public speech skills.
Speaking of which, he’d only found out rather recently that Luna had actually learned to drop her archaic mode of speech in public quite some time ago, in favor of modern parlance. Celestia assured him that her using her customary language around him was to be taken as a sign of her comfort more than anything else, as she had apparently professed to be relieved to be able to speak ‘normally’ whenever she was around him without fear of ridicule. Jeremy, as per usual, sent her a quick cutesy text about this when next he got the chance, and Luna responded with a blushing comment about how ‘he needed to stop, or she’d come over there and make him stop’. Jeremy merely laughed as he read the response, before setting out for classes.
Classes themselves were as boring as ever this semester, with the only interesting one being a design course in materials science. To Jeremy, it was not much more than an excuse to play around with 3D drawing software, though he did enjoy the class and instructor. Midway through the class, he received a text, and pulled out his phone to answer it. The teacher didn’t object – it was a very informal class, and Jeremy was doing just fine on his work.
The text was from Celestia, and consisted of one short sentence: “Please come over here when you get the chance”. Jeremy was mildly concerned by this, but if they weren’t willing to interrupt his classes, then it couldn’t be all that critical. Mentally shrugging, he typed a quick response and went back to his work.
It was a few hours later before he went over to Equestria, cautiously stepping through the portal. Some guards looked at him, startled, and he shrugged. “Got a message from Celestia,” he said by way of explanation, and after some hesitation they let him through.
Princess Celestia was waiting, as usual, in the throne room, and greeted him with a friendly smile, which he returned.
“Nice to be back,” he mentioned, looking around. Celestia awkwardly chuckled, before gesturing him over.
“Well, the nobles have agreed to allow us children – after we promised that the child wouldn’t turn out like Tirek, would be a full-blooded pony, et cetera, et cetera.”
Jeremy gave a genuine smile. “That’s good news! So, when do we… get started?” he asked, trying not to laugh at his own innuendo.
Princess Celestia chuckled. “Why don’t we discuss that in a less public area?” she gently reminded him, and Jeremy blushed with embarrassment. Celestia got up off her throne, daintily stepping down the stairs before leading him to her private room.
Luna was waiting there, looking as though she had gotten up far too early – which, Jeremy supposed, she had. To his mild surprise, Queen Chrysalis was also present, looking apologetic.
“Sorry I couldn’t see you over the weekend, something came up,” she informed him, eyes downcast.
Jeremy waved a hand in dismissal. “Makes sense.”
With that, the four took seats around the floor in a circle, and Jeremy was pleasantly reminded of earlier times.
“So, I just informed Jeremy of the recent breakthrough, and now we’re here to discuss when and how this is going to take place,” Celestia announced.
Chrysalis chuckled. “Personally, I think we should just get it over with, already,” she purred, licking her lips as she stared at Jeremy. Jeremy repressed a giggle at her expression. Princess Luna appeared to be deep in thought, speaking only after a moment of group silence.
“What about this weekend?” she asked. Jeremy nodded.
“As usual, that works. Any objections?” he asked, and the other two shook their heads. “So, what about transforming me into a pony – is that all worked out?” he asked curiously.
Celestia simply shrugged. “We think we have everything down, but we’d have to try it out first. I’d ask Twilight, as she is far more capable and meticulous than I, but…” Celestia trailed off, blushing.
Jeremy laughed. “Your student’s going to have to know eventually,” he reminded her, and Luna chuckled.
“Tis’ what we said, ‘Tia. She’s a fully grown mare, after all,” Luna added.
Celestia looked away, only blushing harder. “Fine, I’ll ask. I suppose a visit is in order, at any rate – it’s been quite some time since we’ve last seen each other,” Celestia gave in.
“Anything else to discuss?” Jeremy asked. The three mares shook their heads, and Jeremy nodded. “Then it’s settled.”
He was about to say something else, but was promptly tossed on the nearby bed by Celestia’s magic. After taking a second to recover, he propped himself up on his elbows and surveyed Celestia.
“Alright, what is it?” he asked.
Celestia tackled him so that she was also on the bed, wings spread out before wrapping themselves around him protectively.
“Chrysalis got hours of cuddling. I want hours of cuddling,” Celestia declared excitedly.
Jeremy had to refrain from bursting out laughing as he wrapped an arm around her, Luna and Chrysalis watching before Chrysalis turned away in mock disgust.
“Come on, Moony,” Chrysalis flatly stated. “Maybe there’s something to do over at the hive.”
With that, the other two left Jeremy and Celestia to their own devices.
Chapter 65*
Chapter 65*
2-28-15, 8:42 P.M.
It was a few hours before Celestia walked in, smiling as soon as she spotted them.
“Goodness, I hope this isn’t the aftermath – Luna, didn’t I say to wait?” she chided.
“Nay, sister, we have not started,” Luna sleepily mumbled.
Celestia lightly chuckled. “In that case, I’ll join you,” she decided, using her magic to expand the bed outward.
With that done, she curled up on the other side of Jeremy, and Jeremy gave a content smile as he leaned into her warmth as well.
“Shouldn’t we… call Chrysalis… get her in on this?” he muttered, sounding half-asleep.
Celestia gave a hum of thought. “Yes… she’s on her way,” she informed him.
Jeremy mumbled a barely audible ‘thanks’ and curled up between the two of them as Celestia gazed down at him with utmost adoration.
“I must say… your new form is absolutely adorable , I could cuddle you all day,” Celestia whispered.
“How do you think… I feel about you girls?” Jeremy whispered back.
Just a few minutes later, Chrysalis arrived. “Heard there was intense cuddling going on and good gracious it stinks of love in here ,” she declared.
Jeremy waved a hoof for her to come join them, and Chrysalis gingerly stepped over the piles of books and texts that adorned Luna’s room. Finally making her way to the bed, she took her position right on top of Jeremy, her chitinous body surprisingly warm.
“Mmm… forget the sex, we should just do this all the time,” Chrysalis remarked. Jeremy chuckled slightly.
Moments later, Jeremy became aware of a distinctly uncomfortable pressure on his lower thigh. Initially unwilling to disturb the peace of the other three, he let it be until it became too annoying to ignore. Curiously, he lifted his head up and looked over – Luna’s ‘second horn’ had been poking him. Luna was looking at him with a guilty expression.
“Er…” she mumbled, blushing furiously.
“Need some help?” Jeremy asked seductively.
Luna laughed a little, and spread her legs wider, looking away with a grin on her face. Jeremy leaned over and licked the tip, causing Luna to shiver with excitement and Chrysalis to move off of him.
“Well, I guess we’re getting started, then,” Chrysalis announced, and immediately kissed Celestia on the lips.
Jeremy looked over in some surprise – he guessed he should’ve known that his wives would share the love amongst themselves as well, but it came as a bit of a shock nonetheless. Celestia, for her part, immediately returned the kiss, her forelegs wrapping around Chrysalis as the latter proceeded to forcefully invade her mouth.
After a few seconds of watching this, Jeremy went back to Luna, lowering his mouth and breathing slightly on her quivering shaft – Luna gave a small squeak at this, and he grinned as he began licking and sucking at her tip.
“Yesss… just like that…” Luna hissed as she began making slow thrusting motions into his mouth, her hooves on his head. Jeremy sucked deeper, his tongue making its way around her medial ring as he bobbed his head up and down.
“Keep… going…” Luna panted, seemingly restraining herself from thrusting deeper into his mouth. Jeremy smiled around her cock, and in one swift motion plunged down to the hilt, taking all 7 inches into his maw. Luna cried out in shock, and came, her fluids coating the inside of his mouth white as she held his head in place. Jeremy’s eyes widened as his air supply was cut off by the influx of fluids, but didn’t say anything – he could hold his breath for pretty long, after all. Finally, Luna rode out her orgasm and released him, panting with happiness and exhaustion.
“Ooh… that was… wonderful,” she declared, slumping back onto the bed. Jeremy swallowed, and grinned once more.
“I hope you’re ready for my turn,” he reminded her, before taking a moment to check on Celestia and Chrysalis. They were hard at it, licking at each other in the classic ‘69’ position, and Chrysalis caught his staring eye before lifting her head off and grinning.
“Like what you see?” she asked, and Jeremy nodded. “Hmm, that reminds me,” Chrysalis noted, before craning her neck over and biting him on the foreleg. Jeremy stiffened for a moment, but quickly relaxed as Chrysalis unlatched her fangs and went back to her ministrations.
“Oh boy, it’s that time of the night again – nothing but drugs and sex. God, we’re like the 70’s,” Jeremy muttered jokingly.
Luna giggled, and he positioned himself over her, already hard and ready to go.
“Huh, it’s the same size, too…” Jeremy noted, comparing his and hers curiously.
While hers was slightly wider, the overall difference wasn’t too noticeable, and Jeremy prodded the entrance to her marehood.
“Ready?” he asked, and Luna eagerly nodded.
“Rut me, you stallion,” she pleaded, and Jeremy happily obliged, slowly but surely hilting her as she breathed a long, drawn-out sigh of pleasure.
“Say, you three can get pregnant tonight, right? You don’t need to be in heat?” Jeremy asked.
Luna nodded. “We used a... rather unusual spell of Princess Cadance's design in order to enter our estrus a little early. That shall last for a month,” she informed him, and Jeremy nodded appreciatively. He began moving in and out of her, slowly at first but with a building rhythm.
As he looked down at Luna, he could tell she was enjoying it – but not as much as she could be. Jeremy decided to change that, leaning over and nibbling on one of her wings. Luna gave a renewed cry of pleasure, and Jeremy continued his assault on her senses, reaching a hoof over to circle one of her teats.
“Ah – it’s too much! We just came, we can’t - !” Luna exclaimed, but Jeremy was having precisely none of it, continuing to thrust, rub and bite until Luna could only gasp in pleasure.
Finally, he felt his orgasm building up, and with a primal cry he unloosed himself inside her. The amount of fluids that made their way out shocked him, and they quickly formed a puddle underneath Luna’s tail. Luna came as well, her walls clenching down on him and forcing out the excess liquid. Once done, she slumped down on the bed, unmoving. Jeremy, coming down from his own earth-shattering orgasm, placed a hoof to her chest in concern – her heartbeat was wild, but she seemed to be breathing just fine.
“Not… dead… just… wow…” Luna breathed, barely able to speak.
“I wasn’t too rough… was I?” Jeremy asked, still somewhat concerned – he wasn’t normally that aggressive.
“Pegasi have a reputation for being more aggressive than other ponies – good choice, by the way,” Celestia informed him before going back to her position below Chrysalis’ dripping pussy.
Jeremy, after taking a few seconds to process this, shrugged. He decided to help Luna recover while Celestia and Chrysalis finished their thing, and snuggled back up next to her, as she immediately brought him into a kiss.
“Best one yet,” she declared as she pulled away, and Jeremy gave an embarrassed smile.
“Why did I give so much?” he asked, referring to the puddle of fluid that was currently staining the sheets.
“It’s a lot less… ‘concentrated’… than the human variety,” Luna answered.
“Quantity over quality, huh?” Jeremy muttered, and she gave him a semi-indignant gentle smack with her wing.
Jeremy chuckled, and pulled her back into the kiss. They continued to lay there as Chrysalis’ and Celestia’s moans got louder and louder, and Jeremy was relieved to remember that Luna had soundproofed the room some hours ago. Celestia came first, wings once again flaring out and knocking Jeremy off of Luna and onto the ground. She didn’t even look over as she tensed and came, coating Chrysalis’ muzzle with her fluids. Chrysalis, for her part, was much quieter about her orgasm, and had finished by the time Jeremy poked his head above bed level again.
“You okay?” Celestia asked.
“Good as ever,” Jeremy answered, and hopped back onto the bed.
With that, Celestia assumed her position, dominating the bed with her sheer size. Jeremy was reminded of his new body’s diminutive stature as he climbed over her – while Luna was comparatively manageable, Celestia was now over twice his size.
“God, I’m tiny,” Jeremy muttered as he rubbed himself against her, slowly getting aroused once more.
“How many times do we have to tell you, your size is acceptable,” Chrysalis remarked irritably as she moved over beside Luna, who had by now recovered enough to lift her head from the pillow to watch.
Jeremy, after processing this, stopped what he was doing to double over in laughter. “The one time I didn’t mean it that way… I was referring to my height,” he replied. With that comment made, he leaned down and began suckling on Celestia’s teats, paying special attention to the nipples as Celestia hummed in satisfaction.
As he continued his foreplay, he noticed Chrysalis licking Luna’s rod, which had somehow managed to get hard again. “What is this, a square dance? ‘Everybody change partners, here we go’?” Jeremy commented.
Chrysalis laughed. “Might as well – you’re not the only one getting bitten tonight,” she declared ominously.
Luna laughed nervously, and she and Jeremy exchanged glances.
“You get used to it,” Jeremy assured her, and Chrysalis kissed her on the forehead to make her point.
“Relax, Moonbutt, it’s like a shot, you’ll barely feel it,” she remarked, and gently bit Luna on the foreleg. Luna had closed her eyes in dread, but quickly opened them again in surprise as Chrysalis pulled away.
“That was all? Hmm,” Luna thought aloud.
“Oh, that’s not nearly all ,” Chrysalis darkly chuckled as she returned to pleasing Luna’s shaft.
Jeremy realized he’d been forgetting about Celestia, and turned back to find her gazing at him with half-lidded eyes.
“What are you waiting for? Make me your mare,” she whispered, and a blush crept across Jeremy’s cheeks.
“As you wish,” he replied simply, and thrust into her, forgoing gentleness – over the months, he had learned that Celestia liked it hard .
To his satisfaction, she gave a gasp of pleasure, and he grinned wildly as he thrust into her, the aphrodisiacs coursing through his system compensating for any exhaustion he might have otherwise been feeling.
“Yes! Right there!” Celestia cried out, and Jeremy figured he had found her G-spot. Aiming carefully, he continued to pound her senseless, hips slapping against her much larger ones as she began shouting out her pleasure.
Just a few minutes later, he felt the familiar sensation of a tightening in his chest.
“Celestia, I’m about to cum!” he warned.
“Do it! Inside!” Celestia half-shouted.
Jeremy gave one final thrust, burying himself to the hilt as his juices once again shot out like a fire hose. Celestia shuddered and spasmed as her walls clenched down upon him, and Jeremy collapsed on top of her a second later, out of breath and his heart racing.
“Not as long as last time… but how was it?” Jeremy haltingly asked.
“Amazing,” Celestia moaned, tail flicking in satisfaction.
Luna had already orgasmed again some time ago from the looks of things, so Jeremy moved on to the last mare of the night: Chrysalis. She gazed down at him with a sultry, indulgent grin as he moved in for a kiss, Celestia politely moving out of the way.
“Next time, I call first,” she got out before Jeremy’s lips locked with hers, Chrysalis instantly leaning into the kiss as her tongue reached into his mouth.
After a few moments of passionate making out, he unlatched from her, and sighed contentedly. “You three… are amazing, you know that?” he remarked. Chrysalis blushed green. Jeremy smiled – another thing he’d learned over the months was that Chrysalis responded very well to compliments.
“So, how would you like it?” he asked as they got into position.
“Nice and slow,” Chrysalis decided, surprising Jeremy.
“Sounds good,” he replied, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips again before making a trail of kisses down her body, Chrysalis shivering as he reached her nethers.
“Ooh… you stud, you know that turns me on,” she moaned. Jeremy smiled.
“Yeah? How ‘bout this?” he asked, and licked in a slow circle around her vagina, slowly centering in on her clit until he flicked it with his tongue. Chrysalis waved her hoof in a so-so motion, only her occasional twitch giving away her pleasure.
“Could be better… how about you put those new hooves of yours to work?”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Care to elaborate?” he asked.
Chrysalis gave one of her trademark fanged grins. “Your entire hoof. Inside me,” she simply stated, and Jeremy blushed crimson.
“Whoa there. You sure it’ll fit?” he asked, and Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“As if anything couldn’t – lest you forget, I can change my body as I please.”
Jeremy shrugged, and slowly prodded her entrance with his hoof. It slowly sank inside, taking in two, three, then four inches as the hole stretched to be nearly circular. “Ah! – Wait, wait. Take it out,” Chrysalis ordered, and Jeremy curiously complied.
“Are you okay?” he asked in concern.
Chrysalis sighed angrily. “I was trying to do it without changing – one of your human sites said couples enjoy this? No, it just hurts.”
Jeremy frowned, placing a consoling hoof on her shoulder. “Want to try something else?” he asked.
Chrysalis thought for a moment. “Let’s just go back to impregnation,” she decided, and Jeremy shrugged and complied once more, his tip lining up with her entrance.
He slowly pushed into her, being sure to be careful in case he hurt her again. Leaning down, he kissed her on the forehead as he began thrusting once more, and she moved her head up to kiss him on the lips again as he moved in and outside of her, their movements slow and coordinated in comparison to his earlier wild ride. For a moment, they said nothing, their eyes communicating all that was needed: I love you .
As much as Jeremy wanted to drag this out, he felt a familiar tingling in his pelvic region, and he looked down at Chrysalis.
“Going to finish soon,” he warned, and she gave a soft smile.
“Go ahead, I’m ready,” she replied. Jeremy picked up speed, and shot his seed into one of his wives for the last time that night.
They lay on the bed, all four having since showered and gotten ready for bed – or, in Luna’s case, her job. “Tomorrow’s Saturday, so… mind if I spend the weekend here?” Jeremy asked.
“Not at all,” Celestia chuckled.
“In fact, why don’t you just go ahead and spend the rest of your life here?” Chrysalis snarkily asked.
Jeremy pretended to think. “Hmmm… I’ll sleep on it,” he mockingly decided.
“Luna, quick, influence his dreams!” Celestia retorted, and Luna burst out laughing as Jeremy suppressed giggles.
Chapter 66*
Chapter 66*
3-1-15, 11:17 A.M.
Jeremy woke up to find that Celestia and Chrysalis had left already, and Luna had returned to her bed, a soft smile on her face as she dreamed of something particularly pleasant. The sheets had been changed, depicting a different galaxy than the one Jeremy remembered, and he examined them for a moment out of curiosity. Deciding that they looked as amazing as ever, he gently crawled out of bed so as not to disturb Luna’s slumber and made his way out into the Equestrian winter morning.
Princess Celestia was, as usual, overseeing affairs in her throne room. Really, the only thing out of place was her frown: Where normally she wore a regal smile, today she carried an unmistakable air of disappointment. As Jeremy trotted over, she beckoned him over to her with a gesture, before leaning down and whispering in his ear.
“It didn’t work for either of us,” she sighed, and Jeremy gave her a sympathetic look.
“Keep trying?” he whispered back, and she nodded.
“Go see Chrysalis, I don’t know how hers went.” Jeremy nodded, and with that, exited the palace.
He made his way to his office, shivering slightly from the cold and ignoring the looks from passersby – the one time I go naked, and of course everypony stares – it’s winter, even they have clothes on, Jeremy muttered under his breath.
Finally, the familiar door came into view, and Jeremy wasted no time entering. To his surprise, a changeling was tinkering with what appeared to be a small circuitboard, and looked up at him before a snarl came onto its face.
“You’re not supposed to be in here,” the drone hissed menacingly, and Jeremy was taken aback for a moment.
“Well, I would think I am , because this is my office,” he quickly retorted. The changeling looked at him in surprise for a moment, before putting its project down and gesturing for him to follow, glaring at him suspiciously all the while.
They entered the portal to the Hive, and the changeling told him to wait there for a moment. Jeremy idly crossed his forelegs and began tapping out a beat as he waited. Queen Chrysalis flew down a moment later, eyes widening in realization as she spotted him.
“Yes, yes, he is,” she replied to the changeling from earlier, who looked at him in shock.
“M-my apologies, sir, I didn’t know…” the changeling trailed off nervously.
Jeremy waved a hoof in dismissal. “It’s fine, really.”
With that, the changeling slunk back into the office, and Jeremy turned back to face Chrysalis. “Sorry about that,” he apologized, and Chrysalis gracefully accepted the apology.
“So, I thought you might be interested to know that last night was a success on my end – and it’s a queen egg,” Chrysalis informed him gleefully. Jeremy pulled her into a hug, the grin on his face expressing more than his words ever could.
“Great! At least one of you did,” he replied joyfully.
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Were the other two less successful?” she asked, and Jeremy nodded as he stopped smiling.
“Guess we’ll have to keep trying,” he said, attempting to feign indifference. Chrysalis laughed, and gave him a soft punch to the shoulder.
“You’d think you’d be happy about a repeat performance,” she teased, and Jeremy gave an embarrassed grin.
“Yeah, I guess… Still, the other two weren’t.”
Chrysalis looked at him seriously for a moment. “Would you like to… see it? The egg, I mean?” she hesitantly asked.
Jeremy eagerly nodded, curious to see what a changeling egg looked like. Chrysalis led him to the nursery, Jeremy flapping his wings awkwardly and somehow succeeding at getting up there. Inside, the usual mass of changeling babies were crawling around the area – with one notable exception. In the middle, a mound of what Jeremy assumed was the same nutrient gel that filled the cocoons changelings slept in surrounded a single egg, luminescent green with a thin, vein-like web around it.
"How can you tell it’s a queen?” Jeremy asked, curiously examining the egg.
“See that spot there?” Chrysalis pointed out, Jeremy just barely discerning a small gray spot near the base of the egg. “That’s what marks it as a queen – it stays with us into adulthood,” she explained, shifting her mane to let him view the same gray spot on her neck.
“So that’s what that is…” Jeremy muttered in realization.
“As you might have guessed, the reason for the distinguishing mark being so unobtrusive was because most queens back in the day destroyed the eggs of potential successors, and queen eggs evolved to hide this mark as much as possible.” Jeremy nodded, interestedly absorbing this information.
“I wonder if it’ll change back to what it was before, now that there’s no longer a need for that?” he remarked, still studying the egg.
Chrysalis shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Evolution takes hundreds of years for us, at the very least – we’ll have to wait and see.”
They returned to Chrysalis’ throne, and a thought occurred to Jeremy. “What happens after this egg succeeds you as Queen?” he asked.
Chrysalis looked at him confusedly. “What do you mean?” she asked.
“Like, once she – I’m assuming it’s a she – grows up and takes the throne. Do you… die?” he hesitantly asked.
Chrysalis stared at him for a second, wide-eyed, and then burst into laughter. “I keep forgetting how little you know!” she forced out, still chuckling and wiping a tear from her eye. “No, I don’t die – why would I? After I have given up my title as Queen, I shall become an Elder, and live forever,” she informed him.
“What does that look like?” Jeremy asked, feeling all the naiveté of a child. Chrysalis hummed in thought for a moment.
“Think… think Princess Celestia, in terms of body structure and height, but more changeling-y,” she answered.
Jeremy chuckled. “Ah, using the very technical terminology, I see,” he teased, and Chrysalis pushed him playfully.
“You know what I mean,” she replied, grinning.
“Say, if Elders live forever, how come I haven’t seen one?” Jeremy asked.
Chrysalis grimaced. “Biologically, they’re immortal. Physically? Not so much. The Great Elder Purge is regarded as one of the worst atrocities in changeling history – carried out by my predecessor, Queen Mimica. I killed her for that… among other things,” Chrysalis admitted, frowning deeply.
Jeremy pulled her into a hug. “Sounds like she got a just death,” Jeremy concluded, and Chrysalis nodded once, a small smile coming to her face as she pulled away.
The day was, for the most part, uneventful – Jeremy helped oversee things at the hive, occasionally discussing the various updates of his life with Chrysalis, who in return talked about the news she had been getting from the other queens. Finally, the moon rose, and Jeremy hopped off a newly made changeling throne and began trotting over to the portal.
“Where are you going?” asked Chrysalis.
“To try again, right?” Jeremy reminded her.
“Oh… right. I mean, I was going to talk about raising changelings, but do that first,” she agreed.
Jeremy nodded solemnly. “I’ll be sure to come back here so we can discuss that properly,” he responded, and they shared a kiss before he stepped through the portal.
Given that the moon had only just come up, Night Court was not quite open yet, and Jeremy found Luna in her study, reading over a book with Celestia.
“Harry Potter and the – oh, you are kidding me,” Jeremy read over their shoulders, laughing.
“What? It’s a good book!” Luna protested. Jeremy rolled his eyes, and Celestia bumped him on the shoulder with a wing.
“Just because you’ve read it fifty times doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it,” she reminded him, smirking.
Jeremy gave out a small ‘hmph’ in response. “So, when do we want to start Round 2?” he asked, and Luna blushed as she put the book down.
“Eager, much?” she teased, and Jeremy stifled a giggle. Celestia snorted in amusement, and stood up.
“I don’t know about you, but I feel like I should shower before we do it – I must smell awful.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you just smell sweaty again afterwards?”
Celestia pondered this, before letting out an amused chuckle. “I suppose I would – very well, if you insist.”
Jeremy smiled. “Just trying to save you that extra bit on hair care products,” he joked.
With that, they were ready to start. Celestia spread herself out on the bed, and Jeremy moved into position. He was just about to enter when out of nowhere, Chrysalis appeared, tackling Celestia off the bed while giggling like a maniac.
“Chrysalis, what are you-“ Jeremy started, but was cut off as Chrysalis put a hoof to his lips.
“I called first, remember?” she reminded the other three, and Jeremy immediately and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a snort of amusement as the memory came back to him.
“Yeah, yeah you did,” he agreed, still chuckling, and Celestia pouted as she was robbed of her position on the bed.
“Well, I call first next time,” Celestia declared, and Luna giggled. Chrysalis spread her legs, and Jeremy positioned himself over her entrance.
“Ready?” he asked, and Chrysalis eagerly nodded, hips bucking slightly in anticipation.
“Mount me already,” she begged, and Jeremy hid a blushing grin as he pushed into her. “Aahn, yes…” Chrysalis moaned as he began moving in and out of her, his medial ring causing an unusual sensation every time it entered or exited.
“Not to insult, but you feel looser than usual,” Jeremy remarked.
“I just laid an egg, what did you expect?” Chrysalis replied, smirking.
Jeremy grinned. “I’d crack a joke about that, but I’d rather not get decapitated today,” he commented, snorting with amusement.
“Didn’t you just, though?” asked Chrysalis, and Jeremy gave her a confused frown. “Crack. You know, like an egg,” Chrysalis sighed, though her exasperation was ruined by the short pants and slight shuddering of her arousal. Jeremy went right back to laughing, placing a hoof to his face as the other two burst into giggles. Chrysalis leaned up and stared into his eyes. “Looks like you’re up next for the guillotine, then,” she declared solemnly before laughing.
“Oh no!” Jeremy mockingly responded, doing his best to keep a straight face and failing magnificently. A shuddering breath from him signified he was about to finish, and in one fluid motion Chrysalis pushed her hips upward, taking him to the hilt as he came inside her. “Wow, I didn’t even say anything…” Jeremy commented afterward, panting slightly. Chrysalis gently purred, sliding herself off of him.
“I know my way around stallions,” she simply responded, and immediately headed for the shower.
After watching her go, Celestia shook her head, a small grin on her face. “Of the three of us… Chrysalis is the funniest during sex,” she commented, and Jeremy nodded with a chortle.
“Hmph. We shall have to see about that,” Luna grumbled, and Jeremy gave her a searching look. Luna, seeing this, gave him a secretive grin in response, and he rolled his eyes before turning back to Celestia.
“Alright, let’s do this,” he muttered, still hard from his earlier attempts.
“At this rate, thou shalt be a proper Casanova – three mares, one bed, every night,” Luna pondered.
Celestia chuckled. “If he were the real Casanova, it’d be more like three every hour,” she retorted, and Jeremy paled in mock horror, laughing a moment later. With that, he entered Celestia’s marehood, and quickly plunged the entire length inside her, the sun princess’ tight walls squeezing around him as Celestia accommodated to the length. “Ah… this, I’ll never grow tired of,” she sighed, looking up at him fondly.
“I just love how casual this has become between us. Half the time we’re exchanging jokes, and the other half we’re talking about our day – what happened to the love songs, the epic battles?” Jeremy joked.
Celestia booped him on the nose with a hoof. “I thought you said you were done with that?” she reminded him gently. “Besides, this is what sexual partners usually do – it’s a sign of a healthy and stable relationship, according to my niece.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what are the other signs of a healthy relationship?” he asked, half curious and half hoping for a joke.
“The usual stuff – communication, expression of feelings, reciprocation… Cadance can drone on for hours about it, I think she gets it from Twilight,” Celestia reminisced as Jeremy continued to slide in and out of her dripping wet pussy, the fluids beginning to puddle on the bed.
Luna surveyed this with distaste. “Sister, we have had to change our sheets so many times recently… can we go back to doing this on thy bed instead of ours ? Or, better yet, reserve a separate bed for the occasion?”
Jeremy chuckled evilly. “I’m thinking red, with little hearts embroidered along the edges…”
Both sisters shouted “NO!” at the same time, and all three promptly burst out laughing, Jeremy hardly even noticing as he came inside Celestia. Celestia shuddered with delight, however, and a moment later had her own orgasm, her walls clamping down on him as copious fluids made their way out her entrance.
Without further ado, Luna fairly pushed Celestia off the bed with her magic. “Court starts in thirty minutes, let us hasten this procedure,” she declared while examining a clock hung on the far wall, and Jeremy nodded seriously as he immediately mounted her, forgoing foreplay in favor of not making her late. Thankfully, he was still dealing with the stimulation of the two previous orgasms, so it was only a few minutes before he hunched over her, somehow still managing to produce fluid despite his earlier efforts. Luna had been giving herself a quick-and-dirty hoofjob the entire time, her cock spurting out significantly more fluid and coating Jeremy’s belly.
“Ahh… there we go! Just have to get cleaned up – sorry for the rush, dearest, but we really must go,” Luna stated somewhat reluctantly, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Nah, it’s cool, get going,” Jeremy replied, returning the kiss. Luna toweled herself off quickly, cast a few spells, then trotted out of the room, her cock vanishing from sight just as she closed the door.
Celestia, who had been watching with amusement, stifled a giggle as Jeremy caught sight of his white-caked underbelly.
“Goodness, you’re dirty. Would you like me to clean you?” Celestia asked, leaning over him.
Jeremy laughed. “Why not, we’re both in need of a bath anyway…” He attempted to trot over to the bathroom, but Celestia stopped him with her magic, flipping him over in midair. “Wha- hey!” Jeremy protested, laughing slightly.
“Dripping on the carpet? I don’t think so,” Celestia declared, levitating him over to Luna’s bathroom. They entered to find Chrysalis whistling a tune as she toweled herself off, seemingly oblivious to their presence. However, a moment later, she chuckled with her back still to them.
“What, you thought I didn’t hear you? Come on in, I’m just finishing up.” Jeremy grinned, and Chrysalis stared as soon as he caught sight of him, still being held belly-up by Celestia’s magic. “…What in the name of the hive happened to you ?” Chrysalis asked.
Jeremy snickered. “Luna did a thing,” he answered by way of explanation, and Chrysalis giggled.
“A thousand years on the moon must have blue-balled her something fierce,” the changeling queen commented, and with that trotted out of the room, still laughing. Celestia, for her part, stepped aside, though she sighed as Chrysalis exited.
“I might have to talk to her about that last bit, Luna’s still touchy about her exile,” Celestia explained with a frown as she set him down in Luna’s private bathtub and turned on the water.
Jeremy gave out a soft “Yeah…” but was stopped from saying anything further by the blissfully hot water.
Chapter 67
3-2-15, 10:19 P.M.
Jeremy browsed around on his laptop, waiting for the wi-fi signal to come back online – for some reason, student wi-fi connection really wasn’t all that emphasized at his college. Sighing with irritation at the lack of Internet connection, he idly doodled for a few minutes until it came back on.
They had quickly turned him back into a human following their second wild night together, and discerned that apart from a few hours of unconsciousness and potential nausea there were no detrimental side effects. Celestia had reported afterward that the doctors had received odd results from the most recent pregnancy test on her, and were retesting. Luna’s had been a failure, and she had sadly expressed that she “would have to wait an entire week to try again”. Chrysalis, meanwhile, reported that the queen egg was still as healthy as ever. Jeremy, remembering an earlier conversation, had asked her how the egg had gestated so incredibly quickly. Chrysalis had replied: “Remember how it goes faster if there’s a lot of love available? Well, the rest of the hive… ‘made a donation’, so to speak.” Jeremy couldn’t stop laughing for a while after that.
He looked up a few minutes later, only to notice that the Internet connection was still down. Sighing, he was about to go back to his drawings when a phone call distracted him. As soon as he picked it up, Celestia began speaking, sounding very tense.
“Jeremy, get over here right now ,” she demanded. “Things have just taken a turn for the worse.”
Jeremy gave a short confirmation grunt, and hurried through the portal, hanging up and dropping the phone a little too harshly on the desk as he left.
Fairly racing through the corridors, Jeremy considered his options. He did have that dimensional void full of weapons permanently attached to him now, at Luna’s insistence – in her words, he should always have both the suit and the guns, but preferably the guns. Still, he’d rather exercise his newfound pacifist tendencies and see if there was a peaceful solution – which, when it came to Equestrian politics, was usually a quite simple yes-or-no answer.
Finally, he took the stairs three at a time into the throne room to reveal… nothing. Nopony was present save a few Night Guards, who saluted him. One immediately trotted over, and Jeremy recognized this one as Glowfire, a guard who according to Luna was very quickly making her way through the ranks.
“Down in the Courtroom, sire. And do hurry,” Sergeant Glowfire admonished.
Jeremy grimly nodded and sped off, glad that his pajamas allowed him to stretch his legs to their limits.
Jeremy had only been in this courtroom a rare few times, way back when: Once when Celestia had interrogated Chrysalis, and once when she had threatened him. Nonetheless, he wasn’t about to forget the location – say what he might about forgiveness, but the thought of possessed-Celestia’s infuriated stare wasn’t about to leave his mind any time soon. Forgoing subtlety, he flung open the door to find Chrysalis, hoofcuffed and levitated by magic by a few royal guardsponies, who were grouped with what looked like half the upper class, Prince Blueblood noticeably among them. Celestia and Luna were there too, looking relieved at his presence but still generally distraught.
Celestia was saying something, and Jeremy quickly tuned in. “-for the last time, in the name of the Sun, stand down !” she half-shouted at the guards, who flinched but held their ground.
A noble stepped forward. “We are sorry, Princess, but we cannot do that – this is by nature outside of even your jurisdiction.”
Jeremy stepped forward menacingly. “And what about mine?”
The noble, noticing his relatively giant form compared to the average pony, took a step back, but fixed him with a steely glare. “Not even your influence will get her out of this one, Prince,” the noble replied calmly. “This is a debate that only those outside your little herd will be allowed to discuss.”
Jeremy quirked an eyebrow, trying to maintain his professional side. “And what discussion is that?” he asked.
Prince Blueblood, to Jeremy’s mild surprise, stepped forward and answered. “Well, to put it bluntly, we think this changeling queen has been leading you on,” he answered, sounding surprisingly polite. Jeremy recalled Celestia telling him something about finally putting her hoof down on Blueblood’s behavior after hearing of the incident with Rarity, but elected to keep listening to the unicorn. “After all, this is all very sudden. A herd, with two princesses and an alien? Marriage, after just one and a half years of even knowing each other? You have to admit, mind control is a fitting story,” Blueblood pressed.
All waited with bated breath to hear Jeremy’s reaction. Jeremy, for his part, merely sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ll admit that is a potential explanation. However, given how little we understand about changeling mind control and the unreliability of our present source, you will have to admit that this is an unresolvable and unfalsifiable claim. So, unless you have some way of telling, I would suggest that the benefit of the doubt be considered.”
Blueblood shook his head angrily. “Of course, you’re quite correct – we know little of the precise workings of changeling magics, and have no definitive way of proving this claim one way or the other. However, we do have enough evidence to make our position known.” Prince Blueblood began pacing back and forth across the courtroom. “Number one: You turned around very quickly from being her worst enemy to her best friend. You even directly defied Princess Celestia, possessed though she was, and risked becoming an Equestrian fugitive.”
Jeremy winced: It was a solid point.
“Number two: She had ample time to influence you, considering the time you spent in her hive and working on her interests. Which brings us to number three: One of the first projects of your department was the so-called “Love Generator”, a device built specifically for changeling use. While this was promoted as an attempt at peaceful relations, the official blueprints were given to Queen Chrysalis’ hive a scant while later, meaning they could-“ here he fixed Chrysalis with a glare, which she returned in full force – “withdraw all support and attack again, this time with enough love energy to easily and completely overwhelm us. So, our motivation for this claim is not only the integrity of our Princesses, but the overall safety of our nation – which, given… previous incidents, is very seriously called into question.”
Jeremy remained outwardly calm, but inside he was very nervous – while false, these were some extremely good arguments, and he would need to come up with some serious counter-evidence. “Alright, first off, let’s address the issue about the Love Generator. You bring up a good point, mentioning the lack of blueprint security – but you’re forgetting something. The initial blueprint released was fake – I had specifically altered it to not work, and gave it to the changelings in case of the exact scenario you described. The real blueprint, to my knowledge, was only released after my own death.”
Jeremy paused after saying that – it felt very odd to describe his demise in the past tense. Shaking it off, he resumed his counterargument.
“In addition, the real blueprint contained a hidden remote detonator that, when activated, would destroy the entire machine, even the metal casing. This was delivered in secret to Princess Luna. That, then, is conclusive evidence both that I was not under her spell at the time, and that she could not have pulled off a reinvasion as easily as you think.”
Blueblood nodded hesitantly, and Jeremy sensed success close at hand. He thought of other reasons, but Prince Blueblood interrupted him. “Although, come to think of it, that would make for an excellent cover story. Trick you into believing you’d have an advantage, only to be mind-controlling you the entire time in order to extract your love – that certainly sounds like something she would have done.” Chrysalis remained silent at the accusation, though Jeremy could tell her eyes fairly burned with fury. She hadn’t been this angry since Ethan had attempted reformation.
Wait… why had he thought of Ethan? Jeremy slowly became aware of a long-drawn out yell, and it was growing louder. Moments later, Ethan burst into the room, shouting a war cry as he entered only to stop as he surveyed the scene. His hair was caked with ice, and he looked freezing, tired, and out of breath, his normally curly hair tied back in a windswept, face-covering variation of a ponytail. Without hesitation, he hurriedly choked out what he had to say.
“Chrysalis… is not… hypnotizing them… and I… can… prove… it…!” he panted.
Prince Blueblood had taken a step back in shock at his wild appearance, but quickly recovered. “Very well, let us hear your evidence, then,” he inquired.
Ethan took a few deep breaths before answering. “If Chrysalis had been mind-controlling the lot of them, she’d never have tolerated my return, because if she were still evil she would have just offed me quietly. She hated me, wanted me dead as soon as she looked at me again, but the others stopped her – something they couldn’t possibly have done under her spell. Furthermore, there’s no reason for her to feed off their love by force or mind-control, since she already has the love machine and they already accept her for who she is – that’s an Occam’s Razor, if you will, simplest explanation wins and all that. Finally, if she were still evil after all this time, she would have done something by now – forced the populace into being her personal slaves, or some such. She certainly wouldn’t be satisfied with just the Princesses and Jeremy if she didn’t truly love them.”
Prince Blueblood looked at him askance, and Jeremy wondered if he was aware of Ethan’s full history. To his surprise, the answer was apparently yes, as Prince Blueblood turned away and directed the royal guards. “Release her,” he ordered, to the evident surprise of everyone present. “I have heard enough.”
The guards gently lowered Queen Chrysalis to the floor, her hoofcuffs disappearing off of her in small flashes of light. Prince Blueblood tensely approached Princesses Celestia and Luna, and bowed low. “Auntie, I must humbly apologize,” he directed at Celestia, who appeared taken aback. “I was only acting in your and Equestria’s best interest, and I will gladly accept that I was wrong.” He turned to Jeremy. “I regret dragging you out of bed for this, but our Princesses here specifically requested that you be allowed to attend, and I was not about to deny them after the recent escapades.” Jeremy grimaced as he remembered the debate about childbirth and his temporary ‘banishment’, but dropped Blueblood a solemn nod.
Finally, the unicorn prince turned to Chrysalis, who surveyed him with distaste. “Once again, I must humbly apologize. Your past may be villainous, but you are quite clearly no longer the criminal you once were, and it was not my place to question that.”
To everyone in the room’s surprise, Chrysalis shook her head. “You had every right. My kind have long been known for trickery, betrayal and deceit, and I was aware that the transition between fear and respect would be a daunting one. I only hope that this serves as a good stepping point for future interactions between our two species… and a reminder that we are not as terrible as we are made out to be.”
Prince Blueblood nodded once more, and with that, the most unusual session of the Equestrian High Court in recent history was dismissed. The nobles slowly filed out, amicably chatting amongst themselves – try as he might, Jeremy couldn’t pick out any dissent in their words, and was extraordinarily glad they had listened to reason. He turned to Ethan.
“Nice entrance – I’m not sure I would have won that argument without you. Who let you know something was going on, anyway?”
Chrysalis walked over. “To be honest, I contacted Myocia through a mutual hivemind drone as soon as I was arrested, and requested help. She must have sent him over.”
Ethan confirmed this with a nod and a wink. “Flew me over here the second she heard, all the way from the Northern Wastes. Took about ten minutes or so – the drone I got a ride from is a really fast flier, I think she’s a spy in the Wonderbolts.”
There was a sigh from the other end of the chamber, and they all turned around to reveal a single changeling drone, who with a flash of purple fire transformed into a pony with a Wonderbolt uniform.
“Thanks for ruining my position, chitincracker,” she accused Ethan, who stiffened with alarm as he realized his slip.
Queen Chrysalis blushed green at the changeling-esque insult, which made Jeremy think it was quite a serious one. Princess Celestia looked at Jeremy, who shrugged, and then back to the purple-shelled changeling.
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” Celestia replied, and the changeling went wide-eyed.
“I… uh… thanks!” she hurriedly exclaimed before turning tail and running out of the courtroom.
“That… would probably bear mentioning to the nobles, though… Wouldn’t want them getting the wrong idea,” Jeremy muttered.
Ethan nervously laughed. “Yeah… that was my fault…”
Queen Chrysalis then turned to Jeremy, a small smile on her face. “Nice defense – if I ever need a lawyer, I’ll know who to call,” she complimented him, and he gave her an embarrassed grin.
“Wait… did you pull a Pheonix Wright on them?” Ethan asked, now grinning for an entirely different reason. Jeremy looked at him in surprise, before snorting in amusement.
“Aw, dammit, I totally should’ve shouted “Objection!” I had the perfect opportunity, too…” he trailed off, and Luna chuckled. “Perhaps next time.”
Ethan quickly departed to find the drone and hopefully get a ride back to Queen Myocia, and Jeremy was sent back to bed by his wives – but not before a hug, kiss, and a “well done” from each of them. A wide smile was on his face as he walked through the corridors of the palace– he had solved a situation without any conflict whatsoever, and had hopefully ended for good any public-relations problems of his romantic life. Hopefully, he could now look forward to raising his kids without any fear of public outcry, or political scandal, and Jeremy kept this newfound victory buoyant in his chest as he made his merry way back to his world.
He opened the closet to find his roommate already curled up in bed, the lights off, and casually stepped out and got into bed. It was after midnight, and Jeremy was initially concerned about his lack of sleep on a school night – he was one of those rare few oddballs who adhered to a strict sleep schedule even in college. However, he remembered with relief that classes started later tomorrow, and comfortably drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 68
3-9-15, 2:07 P.M.
Jeremy casually walked into the palace, swinging a backpack of supplies over his shoulder. He couldn’t wait to meet up with his wives – wait until they saw the surprise he had in store! He cheerfully greeted a day guard with a wave of the hand, and the guard looked at him in mock suspicion before returning the wave with an added salute.
As soon as he entered the throne room, Celestia noticed him – despite being a Monday, the castle was just about devoid of petitioners and nobles.
“What are you doing here?” she exclaimed. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”
Jeremy gave her a secretive grin. “Oh! Did I accidentally forget to tell you that this week is Spring Break, and as such I have the entire week off? I’m sorry,” he replied, half-laughing.
Celestia looked at him in surprise for a moment, before a grin slowly made its way onto her own face. “Is that so…? In that case…” she trailed off, looking at him with an indulgent grin. She called over a day guard. “Please spread the word that I shall be in my chambers for some hours, and am absolutely not to be disturbed,” she informed the guard, who saluted and replied “It shall be done, your Majesty.” Celestia nodded, and gestured for Jeremy to follow her as she trotted off to her private quarters.
“So, we’ve determined that there are no major side effects for you when transforming, apart from passing out – which race would you like to be this time?” Celestia asked.
Jeremy thought – he had been a pegasus last time, so… “Why not a unicorn?” he asked.
Celestia laughed, and lit her horn. In the space of just a second from Jeremy’s perspective, everything went white – hopefully he’d remembered not to scream this time.
3-9-15, 7:07 P.M.
He woke up securely tucked into Celestia’s bed, the sky outside having darkened to night. Jeremy lifted up a coppery hoof, examining it – too bad he didn’t have a mirror handy. He jumped out of bed, forgetting that he was now a quadruped and attempting to stand on two hooves before falling over. Celestia, who had been reading a book, looked over as he attempted to pick himself up.
“Having problems?” she teased, and Jeremy bit back a retort as he finally remembered how to use hooves.
“Shush, you, if I remember correctly you were worse when you were a human,” Jeremy finally got out.
Celestia giggled. “You weren’t saying that when you were staring at my human flank,” she replied, and Jeremy blushed pink as she burst into laughter. Celestia marked her place in the book before trotting over, laying down, and pressing her body against his in an almost predatory manner. “So, my little pony, are you ready for another round?” she purred into his ear.
Jeremy grinned up at her. “I think the better question is, are you?” he shot back, and Celestia smiled before nipping him on the ear. Jeremy yelped as the pleasurable sensation shot down his spine, and Celestia giggled once more.
Luna walked in some minutes later to find the two of them laughing and slapping each other with the velvety pillows that had once securely been arranged on the bed. Her only reaction was a deep sigh, giving them an unamused look. “Dost thou not hath homework, Jeremy?” she pointed out, but her accusatory hoof was stopped short by Jeremy’s own mockingly waving one.
“Nope, but I do have an entire week off of school,” he informed her, winking.
Luna was openmouthed in surprise, before her expression shifted to a jubilant grin. “MOST JOYOUS DAY!” she exclaimed, the Royal Canterlot Voice making a vicious comeback on Jeremy’s eardrums. He cringed, and Celestia shot Luna a look, but Luna was having none of it. “An entire week! This is a most opportune happenstance – pray tell, why didst thou not inform us of this earlier?” Luna continued, a wide grin still on her muzzle.
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Jeremy answered, still rubbing his ears to clear them of that awful ringing.
Sensing this, Luna lit her horn, and his hearing returned to normal as she looked at him apologetically. “We… really must stop using that inside,” she admitted sheepishly.
With that, they got right down to it as Celestia lifted him onto the bed. The sex was brief, and rushed: Jeremy sensed he wasn’t the only one getting tired of the constant attempts. By the time they had finished, though, the three of them were sweating and panting in both arousal and exhaustion, and they achingly lifted themselves off the bed to go wash their bodies off.
“So, I wonder if I can learn to use magic…” Jeremy mused as he was cleaned by Celestia, the latter frowning slightly in annoyance as she scrubbed at a particularly stubborn spot.
“Mayhap we should contact Twilight Sparkle, in hopes of tutoring thee,” Luna joked, and Jeremy snorted in amusement.
“That would require… explanations,” he pointed out, and Celestia looked at him.
“One would think any brony would be happy to go learn magic under Princess Twilight,” she added, and Jeremy repressed a chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah. They’d also fall in love with every single one of the Elements of Harmony and wield the secret 7th Element, Overpoweredness,” Jeremy finished sarcastically.
He stopped as he reflected on how comparably, laughably strange his own situation was. Here he was, married to the two Princesses of Equestria and the Queen of all changelings, in the body of a unicorn, with a track record of heroic acts to his name and a bodycount in the hundreds. “…Huh,” Jeremy muttered under his breath.
Celestia, who had clearly been mentally listening in, giggled. “Quite,” was her only response.
With that, Luna decided to teach Jeremy the basics of magic, so they walked into her study. They started with levitation – Luna gestured to a sheet of paper on her bedside desk. “Now, concentrate. Close thine eyes, focus thine energy into thy horn, and attempt to lift the paper.” Jeremy did as asked, feeling as though he were exercising a muscle he’d only just grown. Which, in a sense, was true. There was the sound of magic being performed, and Jeremy opened his eyes only to witness the paper falling to the floor, having levitated some six feet up.
“Why’d it stop?” he asked.
“Thou stopped concentrating,” Luna replied. Jeremy gave a petulant frown, and Luna giggled. “Oh, tis’ just like teaching a child… We are getting in some good practice for later, hmm?” she teased, and Jeremy’s frown deepened.
“Yeah, well…” he responded, attempting to come up with a retort. When none came, he simply sighed, and Luna burst into laughter. Jeremy watched this for a few seconds, still unamused, but finally his stony expression began to crack, and he too joined in.
Some hours later, Celestia poked her head in. “I’m heading to bed, how’s it going?” she asked. Luna stopped what she had been explaining and turned around to stare at Celestia.
“I HATH FINISHED!” she proclaimed in a slightly quieter Royal Canterlot Voice, and for a moment all was silent. Then Jeremy doubled over laughing, and Celestia looked at Luna in shock before putting a hoof to her forehead.
“Blast it, I nearly forgot about that bet…” she groaned as she levitated over a sack of bits and began counting them out. Luna smugly accepted the bits, and Jeremy looked at her curiously.
“We placed a bit that thou would or wouldn’t laugh if we proclaimed that at a random time,” Luna explained, and Jeremy looked at her with a grin on his face.
“Really?” he asked, and Luna looked away, embarrassed. “Alright, out with it, what other bets do you have?” he asked, and Luna shook her head stubbornly.
“Nay! We cannot reveal the terms of the bet beforehoof, that would ruin it!”
Jeremy gave her a petulant glare. “Ugh… there better not be many more,” he grumbled.
3-12-15, 11:17 P.M.
Jeremy, Chrysalis and Celestia lay on a cocoon in the Hive, watching a Disney movie. So far, spring break had been uneventful – Jeremy had learned some more magic, the alicorns had kept trying to have children, and Chrysalis took care of her egg. Luna was currently out doing her duties, and also waiting on the results of her latest pregnancy test.
“Pegasus was clearly the real hero of this story,” Jeremy quipped as dramatic fight scenes played in the background.
“Is that really the legend of how pegasi came to be in your world?” Chrysalis asked, unimpressed.
Jeremy laughed. “Nah, this isn’t even close. I think the first Pegasus, according to Greek mythology, was actually a child of Poseidon and Medusa, along with some human guy named Chrysaor. Oh, and he was a rape child, because Greek gods were like that.”
Celestia cringed. “Are all the old legends that awful?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Yeah, I think so, if you look far enough. Still, important life lessons and all that.”
Chrysalis, meanwhile, was watching the screen. “Wow. For getting crushed by a column of marble, she’s in remarkably good shape,” she pointed out.
Jeremy chuckled. “It’s a kid’s movie, what’d you expect? Her ribcage collapsing in on itself, bones protruding outward as-“ Celestia smacked him with a hoof, and Jeremy gave her an indulgent grin as he fell silent.
“Too much information,” Celestia grumbled.
Jeremy merely smiled. “Ah well, at least we don’t have to see any of that.”
A few minutes later, the credits rolled, and Celestia smiled. “That was a good ending,” she remarked cheerfully.
“Any more movies you can think of?” Chrysalis asked, lazily reclining on her section of the cocoon.
“Nah, that’s all the really good ones,” Jeremy thought aloud, scrolling through the list on his account.
“Well, in that case, I think I’ll head off to bed,” Celestia replied, stifling a yawn while stretching out her wings. Jeremy nodded, and got up.
“I think I’ll join you,” he commented, and Chrysalis looked disappointed.
“What, so I’m going to be here by myself?” she demanded.
Jeremy looked at her curiously. “Didn’t know you felt like company. Mind if I sleep over here, then?” Chrysalis eagerly nodded.
Jeremy shrugged, and trotted back to join her on the cocoon. “We need to hang out more often. Or move the portal to Earth over here,” Chrysalis remarked.
Jeremy looked at her shrewdly. “Lonely?” he asked. Chrysalis huffed a sigh, and finally nodded.
“I feel like you’ve forgotten about me… in trying to get the others pregnant… like I matter less,” she falteringly explained.
Jeremy awkwardly swept her up into a hug, and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Hey, don’t say that. I love you just as much as them, even if I haven’t been… very good at showing that lately,” he replied.
Chrysalis gave a brief weak smile before returning to her prior unhappiness. “Yeah… I just worry sometimes, is all,” she mumbled.
Jeremy frowned in sympathy. “Well, how about this: Every time you feel like you’re being loved less than the others, come find me and I’ll fix that,” he answered.
Chrysalis considered this, and gave him a guilty smile. “I worry a lot , though…” she admitted.
Jeremy smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Like I said, come find me.”
Chrysalis looked at him in some surprise, then happily nodded. “I will.”
3-13-15, 10:54 A.M.
Jeremy hopped out of the cocoon only to find that Chrysalis had already left. Shrugging, he clumsily dried himself off with a nearby towel – Chrysalis began stocking these soon after she learned that ponies and humans, unlike changelings, did not enjoy feeling slimy – and made his way out into the main atrium cavern of the hive.
Changelings were hard at work doing absolutely nothing, lounging around the hive as they pleased. One lazily lifted its head up to stare as he passed by, and Jeremy returned the glance. “Slow day?” he asked, and the drone nodded. Jeremy gave a sympathetic hum in response, and continued on his way.
He found Chrysalis in the nursery, speaking with Luna as they watched the queen egg. As soon as Luna saw him, she stopped speaking and tackled him to the ground, kissing him merrily. Jeremy spluttered as he tried to get out from under her, but Luna was having none of it.
“Ach – what – what’s this all about?” Jeremy got out as Luna continued her assault.
Luna pulled him into a ribcage-crushing hug, and was about to shout out her joy when a look from Chrysalis stopped her. “Right. Anyway… It worked!” she announced, and Jeremy’s face lit up as though she’d just announced there would be approximately seven Christmases.
“Really?! All right!” he cheered.
They danced around the nursery cave in joy, and Chrysalis looked on with a small smile. “Colt, or filly?” she asked.
Luna smiled. “Colt,” she announced. “Shall we begin thinking of names?” Jeremy nodded – he always had wondered just how pony parents came up with such eerily accurate names for their children.
An hour later, he was less curious as to the process and more frustrated as to when it would finish. They had gone through multiple names, but none of them had seemed right, somehow.
“Prince Cobalt?” Jeremy asked.
Chrysalis shook her head, even going so far as to stick out her tongue. “Unless he’s bright blue, I don’t think that’ll work.” Jeremy grumbled, and went back to thinking.
“Prince… ugh, this is too difficult,” Luna groaned.
“How does this work, anyway? Are we supposed to just guess what our kid’s special talent will be?” Jeremy asked.
Luna shrugged. “We have never had a child of our own, but we have heard that the answer to that question typically comes in the form of some sort of vision or other such fateful occurrence. The more influential the fate of that pony, the stronger destiny’s suggestion will be.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, smirking. “So, one of us is going to have some sort of epiphany if we just keep thinking about it?” he clarified, and Luna nodded. Jeremy mentally shrugged – it was as good a method as any, though not very scientific. Then he inwardly snorted – this wasn’t one of his experiments, or replicated weapons, this was his child . It didn’t need to be scientific.
Just then, Jeremy’s vision faded out. “What the…?” he exclaimed in surprise as an impossible variety of images flashed by – metal and plastic bars being levitated and melted, space twisting in on itself as a copper-colored alicorn surveyed a stunning variety of projects. The images faded from view, and slowly he came back to reality to find Luna and Chrysalis staring at him.
“Well, that is most probably our vision… Dost thou have a name for him, then?” Luna inquired.
“Yeah…” Jeremy breathed. “Not sure if you’ll like it, but here it is: Prince Miracle Matter.”
Chapter 69
4-4-15, 7:41 P.M.
Jeremy sighed as he walked out of his last class for the day, stretching and yawning slightly as he made his way out the building in the vague direction of his dorm house. Weeks had gone by, without anything happening – Celestia still hadn’t gotten pregnant, Chrysalis was still nursing her egg, Luna still was pregnant… It seemed a little boring. Sure, this was not for lack of trying – they were still waiting on the results of the latest attempt for Celestia, but still, Jeremy began to wish for the old days, when they would sit down and spend a week or two just enjoying each other’s company.
He stepped into his dorm room, waved a brief hello to his roommate, and stepped through the portal, smirking at how normal this had become – his roommate barely acknowledged his presence. A royal guard saluted as soon as she saw Jeremy, and Jeremy dropped a nod, brushing past her silently as he made his way to the throne room to check on Celestia.
Princess Celestia was currently conversing with some of the nobles, her expression an artificial smile – Jeremy could tell how bored she was behind her usual public demeanor. She gave a genuine smile as soon as she saw him, however, and politely nodded at Jeremy before resuming her conversation. Jeremy took this as a signal to wait, and leaned against a nearby pillar.
Finally, some minutes later, Celestia trotted over to him. “Good afternoon. How was math class?” she inquired.
Jeremy smirked. “Well, I didn’t fall asleep this time. Just barely made it to class, too – completely forgot I had to cast some molten metal today.”
Celestia led him along the corridor to her private chambers, ushering him inside with a barely restrained smile. As soon as Jeremy stepped in, he was engulfed in a wall of pure hug as Celestia squeezed his ribcage. “It worked! Oh, it worked, I can’t believe it,” she sang and danced around the room, Jeremy in tow.
“Then, you mean…” Jeremy began.
“I’m pregnant,” Celestia confirmed, and Jeremy returned the hug.
“That’s amazing! Do they know the gender?” he asked. Celestia nodded.
“Another colt – our little Miracle’s going to have a brother!”
Jeremy grinned – 'our little Miracle' had become Prince Miracle Matter’s new nickname, and the name had stuck – it was even in the newspapers at this point. Princess Luna, for her part, had quickly been swept up in interviews and public announcements regarding her child, which she had taken to with gusto – she hadn’t been this popular in quite some time, according to Celestia.
“The doctors said I might have been too old to carry – they didn’t know when alicorns hit menopause, if ever. But the last one came through – I have a fertilized egg!” Celestia declared excitedly, and Jeremy grinned down at her as he planted a kiss on her forehead.
“Any idea on the name?” he asked, and Celestia shook her head.
“I’ve been trying to come up with something… but no luck. Luna tells me you literally had a vision?” she asked, and Jeremy nodded, chuckling.
“Yeah, we were just sitting around, being all kinds of unproductive, when suddenly BAM! Future vision. And just like that, I knew it was going to be Miracle Matter.”
Celestia giggled. “So when do you think my vision’s going to come along?” she asked, and Jeremy laughed.
“I’d say… right about now,” a voice replied, and the two of them whipped around to reveal a light metallic blue alicorn leaning against the wall.
“Who are you?” Celestia asked curiously, slightly raising her hackles threateningly – Jeremy suspected she didn’t take well to intruders in her bedroom.
The new alicorn, for his part, simply laughed. “What, you don’t recognize your kid?” he asked. Jeremy stared at the newcomer, who stared back before laughing. “Oh, that look – get used to that look, Dad. I’ll be hopping around this timeline a lot more than this.”
Jeremy put a hand to his forehead. “Let me guess, your cutie mark is power over Time, Miracle Matter’s is Space, and you’re our kid from who knows how many years in the future, come back just to troll us.”
The blue alicorn doubled over in giggles. “Oh, wow, you’re just as snarky as ever! Yeah, you got most of it right – I just came back to this particular point in time to tell you guys my name, so you don’t mess it up. Temporal inevitability and all that, right?” he asked Jeremy, who chuckled and nodded.
Celestia, who had been watching this exchange in confusion, finally turned back to the smaller alicorn. “So… what is your name?” she prompted.
The blue alicorn surveyed her, a smirk coming to his face. “Well, Mooooom,” he drawled. “My name is Prince Clockwork Chronology,” he announced. The smile was wiped off his face, however, and Clockwork opened his mouth like he was about to say something. Apparently thinking better, he closed it, and looked almost apologetic. Jeremy raised an eyebrow, but his future-son remained silent. “…Anyway… you’ll be seeing me again a bit later down the road. ‘Til then, try not to screw up the timeline, kay?” the prince admonished.
With that, he disappeared, his magic temporarily taking the shape of a glowing, electric blue clock in his wake before vanishing. Jeremy looked at Princess Celestia for a moment, before shrugging. “Clockwork Chronology it is, then?” he asked.
Celestia stared at him, apparently still surprised by the whole encounter. “Uhh… yes?” she answered.
Jeremy chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll figure it out in a few years – he didn’t look that old.” Celestia, having apparently given up, gave a shrug and returned to her usual smile.
“Well, at any rate, my future son is certainly… interesting ,” she remarked, and Jeremy laughed.
“Ethan’s gonna love this story,” he replied, and Celestia stifled a giggle.
“So, you seen the trailers for season 5?” he asked Celestia, who nodded.
“Can’t say just yet what will be happening… but I do have a few ideas,” Celestia mused. Jeremy, for his part, merely shrugged – he had long since sworn off spoilers.
“I wonder what’s left to do, now that the both of you are pregnant…” Jeremy wondered aloud.
Celestia smirked. “Well, we could always just continue what we were doing,” she remarked seductively, and Jeremy chuckled.
“Actually, I kind of want to take a break from sex for a while – it’s getting exhausting,” he admitted, and Celestia was taken by surprise.
“Huh. I was getting tired as well, but I wasn’t going to say anything,” she replied, and Jeremy quirked a frown at her.
“Aw, c’mon, you know you can tell me,” he reminded her.
Celestia shyly looked away. “Well, yes, it’s just… I hate disappointing you,” she reluctantly answered, and Jeremy pulled her into a hug.
“After all we’ve been through? You know I’m down for anything, good or bad.” Celestia smiled at him, and he gave an indulgent grin back.
A few hours later, they were relaxing on Celestia’s bed, Celestia reading a book while Jeremy simply snuggled into her side. “Say, we’ve got names for the two pony kids… but did we ever come up with a name for the changeling egg?” Jeremy asked.
Celestia shrugged. “I did ask, once. Chrysalis replied that changelings have to earn their names, and as such no name was required as of yet.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, processing this. “They have to earn their names… huh.” He felt vaguely stupid for not having learned this earlier – after all, he’d known Chrysalis for over a year and a half now.
With not much else to do, they retired to bed, Jeremy comfortably leaning an arm around Celestia as the latter draped a wing over him. “So, our kid’s mucking about time,” Celestia remarked jokingly.
Jeremy chuckled. “Yeah… let’s hope he doesn’t mess anything up, huh?” Celestia hummed in agreement, and they drifted off to slumber.
Elsewhere, two greenish eyes surveyed the odd place the occupant had found themselves in. Vast, incomprehensible networks of space propagated themselves at impossible angles, each branch spreading outward, sideways, looping back… wait, looping? The stranger decided to put a hand to his eyes, attempting as fruitlessly as ever to rub the green out of them so that they would look normal again. Finding no success, he returned his attention to the infinite timestreams laid out before him – and indeed, there was a loop, glowing neon blue against the normal backdrop of muted colors: Someone from a timeline had returned to a previous point on the same timeline. The stranger consulted his notes on the subject, the stolen papers still bearing the insignia of Star Swirl the Bearded. According to this, the only timeline that could be was… the main one. The stranger grinned, making his way forward through the ethereal currents of fourth-dimensional space towards the ‘left’most point of the loop – the point of re-entry. -Not this time, or any other. -C.C.
Jeremy awoke to find Celestia tossing and turning, groaning in pain as she kicked feebly – it was one of these kicks that had woken him up. “…Celestia?” he whispered, unsure what to do. He gently shook one of her shoulders, and Celestia bolted upright, startling him into falling off the bed.
“J-Jeremy? You’re okay?” she asked, no small tinge of worry lacing her voice.
Jeremy picked himself up, and swept her into a tired hug. “Of course I’m okay, Celestia. What happened?” he asked.
Celestia looked away. “It’s just… I had the most awful dream,” she whispered. Jeremy began rubbing her ears, and Celestia gave a reluctant smile.
“Tell me about it,” he inquired, and Celestia sighed.
“It’s… before I do, I don’t agree with it, okay? Just so you know,” she stated, and Jeremy nodded. “Okay…” Celestia began. “I was dreaming about when you were fighting Queen Chrysalis, way back when. You had just made it to the throne room, and I thought everything would go the same…” she trailed off, a tear coming to her eye.
Jeremy gently wiped it off. “But?” he prompted, and Celestia shuddered.
“Chrysalis, she… she tore off your helmet, and bit you, injected you with – with something . Whatever it was, you were knocked out, and she proclaimed victory.”
Jeremy kissed her on the forehead. “Girl, you know that isn’t what happened, don’t be sad,” he pleaded.
Celestia shook her head stubbornly. “The dream didn’t end there! The scene shifted forward to a few weeks later, and we were all in the Hive – you, me, Luna, Twilight…” she gave another small shudder, stifling a choked sob, and Jeremy’s eyes widened in alarm – how bad had this dream been? “Twilight was d-dead. I was… converted into a changeling, Chrysalis’ right-hoof servant. But you and Luna…” she trailed off once more, seemingly unable to continue. Unsure how else he could comfort her, Jeremy simply waited. Finally, Celestia took a deep breath. “You two were being mind-controlled to believe you were back in Canterlot, and that everything had worked out. You were professing your love to each other, unaware that hundreds of changelings were feeding off of it… Oh, it was horrible!” she sobbed.
Jeremy held her there, whispering the most soothing things he could think of as she cried herself out. “I’m right here, I’m fine,” he repeated. “Everything will be okay.”
Finally, her sobs gave way to gentle whimpers. “I… ordinarily wouldn’t think much of this,” she admitted, and Jeremy looked at her curiously. “But… alicorns occasionally get visions, from the future, present or past. It’s a normal part of our lives, because of our ties to fate… and that’s what makes me think this was something more than a bad dream. What if I’m not real?” she mumbled, and Jeremy looked at her sternly.
“I can poke a hole in that argument so easily,” he sternly replied. Celestia looked at him curiously. “Ethan,” Jeremy answered. “He’s the one thing that Chrysalis would never be able to stand – there’s no way he would ever be in a cordial relationship with her, even a dream one, if she were still evil.”
Celestia considered this for a moment, then gratefully slumped her head against his. “Thank you, I needed that,” she responded, and Jeremy nuzzled the top of her head lovingly.
“Don’t worry, Celestia. You are one hundred percent real, so am I, and so is our love. Now go to sleep, Celly. It’s three in the morning.” Celestia obediently nodded and laid her head back down on her pillow, and Jeremy replaced the sheets and joined her.
4-5-15, 8:07 A.M.
Jeremy awoke to find Celestia still breathing gently next to him, though her eyes were open. “Good morning, my little human,” she purred, and Jeremy smiled.
“How was your sleep?” he asked, and Celestia gave him a small smile.
“…Better,” she admitted, and Jeremy lazily reached an arm over in a makeshift hug.
“Glad to hear it,” he responded while giving her belly a gentle rub, and Celestia cooed at the attention.
They were interrupted by Luna, a smirk on her face as she spotted them. “Well, Discord hath reported back in the negative, so that is good news,” she informed them, and Celestia smiled. Jeremy, meanwhile, gave a confused frown, and Luna sat down beside him, flinching at the sunlight streaming down onto the bed.
“We also saw Tia’s dream last night, and decided to check for ourselves whether this was all a deluded fantasy. To that end, we contacted Discord – not only can he not appear in such dreams, due to his inherently chaotic nature, but he can distance himself from space and time to such an extent that he can discern the reality of any given situation. Which, in turn, is a trick he picked up from me,” Luna concluded.
“And… he reported that this is not some sort of weird fever dream,” Jeremy replied, and Luna nodded.
“Indeed. Not even Chrysalis could construct such a vivid fantasy – that, we know. Her powers, even now, are not that great.” Jeremy nodded, feeling relieved.
“And now, to hopefully never discuss this again, for the sake of my sanity at least,” he grumbled, and Celestia giggled.
“Come on, Jeremy,” she said, pulling him out of the bed to his muffled protests. “Let’s go do something fun.”
Ethan, miles away, woke up in his cocoon. Myocia, who had already been awake for some hours, looked at him suspiciously. “What’s wrong, soldier?” she asked, and Ethan put a hand to his forehead.
“I just had the weirdest feeling… like somebody finally said I was important,” he answered, and Myocia gave him a look she’d given him many times before.
“…Right… Anyway, now that you’re up, time to get going,” she ordered, lifting Ethan out of his cocoon with her fuschia magic. “We’ve got a long way ahead of us to meet up with Icthyos and her drones, and that shipwreck isn’t going to scavenge itself.”
Ethan nodded, and slung his rucksack over his shoulder, watching the Roaming Hive at work – what they lacked in the way of food and shelter, they made up for via ingeniously portable versions of changeling architecture. Even now, a changeling was squeezing its cocoon into a tiny ball, to better be carried on its back. Ethan joined in the march, feeling like a soldier again. Still, that nagging feeling wouldn’t leave him: Somebody had said he was important. Shrugging, Ethan fell into step with his queen.
Chapter 70
6-8-15, 6:00 P.M.
Not much had happened in the past few months. Celestia, while nursing her foal, had discussed her dream with Chrysalis. Many arguments had come of this, with both sides admitting they felt terrible for even bringing it up – Celestia for distrusting her fellow wife, and Chrysalis for being reminded of her old self. Eventually, Jeremy had settled things between the two with Luna’s help, and the sun princess and changeling queen were slowly going back to their old relationship.
Currently, Jeremy was relaxing after finals, back in his old home in Seattle – it was hard to believe that a semester had already passed with so little disturbance of the peace. He’d watched the first few episodes of Season 5, and Luna had already told him in advance about a recent one involving Apple Bloom’s nightmares. Jeremy sighed, leaning back on his chair as he scrolled through various websites. Just then, his phone buzzed, and he disinterestedly pulled it out – probably the research group, wondering if he had uploaded some of the photos for the school project yet. To his mild surprise, it was in fact a text from Celestia – apparently Ethan and the Roaming Hive had shown up, bearing some interesting tomes from a shipwreck at the bottom of the ocean. They were meeting with Canterlot scientists to discuss the contents for a week or so, and she suggested he stop by and visit Ethan. Jeremy amicably shrugged – perhaps it would take his mind off things.
He hopped through the portal, waving hello to a passing day guard, who coolly nodded in his direction before resuming her post. Jeremy was reminded of a conversation between him, Celestia and Luna suggesting he should get royal regalia. Though he had objected at the time, he couldn’t help but feel awfully underdressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Maybe he should get a suit…
He came upon the throne room to find Celestia deep in the middle of conversation with some noble. Quietly, so as not to interrupt, he took a seat by his wife’s side, spacing out slightly.
“…And though it would be wiser to move to a more populous location, I understand your trepidation. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me,” Celestia finished. The noble silently nodded, and walked out. Celestia turned to Jeremy. “When I said ‘come visit’, I didn’t mean immediately…” she laughed, and Jeremy smiled.
“I had nothing better to do,” he answered, and picked up a stack of forms in front of them.
Hours later, Ethan walked in, laughing about something as Queen Myocia good-naturedly punched him in the shoulder – Jeremy winced, but Ethan seemed to shrug it off.
“Good evening, Queen Myocia and Ethan,” Celestia greeted.
“Morning!” Ethan quipped, and Jeremy put a hand to his mouth to hide his grin.
“Quite,” Myocia greeted. “The texts were in adequate condition, according to the Royal History department staff – the waterproofing spells had held up very nicely. I trust they will fetch a high price?” she asked, and Celestia nodded.
“Indeed – thank you for delivering them to us. You will receive your payment in a few days’ time.” Queen Myocia smartly nodded.
Jeremy retired to his bedroom, staring disinterestedly at the practice exam he had been working on. He almost didn’t notice the blue alicorn laying on his bed until Clockwork cleared his throat. Jumping up in shock, Jeremy had his revolver up and pointed at the alicorn in less than a second.
“Whoa, whoa, just me!” Clockwork exclaimed, moving out of the way. Jeremy lowered the gun and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Sorry, Clockwork, I just…” Jeremy trailed off, unsure what he was just.
“I know, I know. Jumpy. Sheesh,” Clockwork muttered. He idly ran a hoof through his hair, before blurting out “Can we talk? You, me, and Mom? Oh, and Other Mom?” he added after a second’s pause.
“…Which other mom?” Jeremy asked, smirking at the nickname.
“Both. Neither. I don’t know, I just need to tell you guys this!” Clockwork burst out, sounding agitated.
Jeremy held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Calm down, I’ll go get them.”
They walked through the castle corridors, the night staff staring at the newcomer alicorn. Coming upon the throne room, Jeremy thankfully spied that Princesses Celestia and Luna were right in the middle of exchanging duties. Both looked over at him and Clockwork, and cantered over.
“Is something wrong?” Celestia asked worriedly, and Luna looked at them with the same expression.
“N-nothing’s wrong, Mom. Just… I need to talk to you. All four of you,” Clockwork clarified, and Luna looked at Celestia before lighting her horn.
Barely a minute later, Queen Chrysalis flew in through the doors, panting slightly as she skidded to a stop. Looking around, she frowned at their lack of motion.
“What? You said it was important, and usually that means someone’s attacking!” she exclaimed.
“…Huh,” Clockwork remarked quietly, and Chrysalis stared at him.
“Queen Chrysalis, this is Clockwork Chronology, my son who time-traveled from the future. He apparently wants to speak with us,” Celestia explained. Jeremy partially cracked up at the mention of time travel, but managed to compose himself before Clockwork looked at him.
Minutes later, they were in Celestia’s private quarters, Clockwork looking at anything but them as they waited for him to begin. “Okay, so… I know you had a dream recently,” he began with a pointed look at Celestia, who already looked alarmed. Chrysalis growled inaudibly. “It wasn’t a dream, okay? It was an alternate reality. Something that could’ve happened, but didn’t,” Clockwork explained, and Chrysalis stopped glaring at him.
“So… that actually happened to another instance of me?” Jeremy asked, and Clockwork nodded.
“Yeah, he lost. You know the multiverse theory? Where every choice you make splits the timeline into two?” he asked rhetorically, and Jeremy nodded. “Well, he lost the first battle with you,” Clockwork remarked, pointing at Queen Chrysalis, “and suffered the consequences. So, he and Luna eventually figured out that they were trapped in a dream, and she sacrificed her own life to get him out.” Luna clapped a hoof to her mouth, and Chrysalis turned away, eyes downcast.
“That universe’s Jeremy stole some time travel papers from Star Swirl’s archive in Canterlot, and attempted to go back to the moment he lost in order to rectify the situation. Only…” Clockwork trailed off.
“Yes?” Jeremy prompted after a moment’s silence, hoping this story had a happy ending.
“He didn’t arrive in his own timeline. He somehow got into this one,” Clockwork explained.
Chrysalis turned back to the blue alicorn. “So, wait. There’s been a second Jeremy running around this whole time, and we’ve never noticed?” she scornfully rebutted.
Clockwork Chronology shook his head. “No, because I… took care of him,” he quietly announced. Chrysalis fell silent, any objections she had been about to make stifled by Clockwork’s tone of voice.
“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked, and Clockwork glared at him tearfully.
“I killed him,” Clockwork answered, his voice hoarse. “I killed my own father…”
With that, Clockwork burst into sobs, and Celestia pulled him into a hug. “Your father is right here. He’s fine, no matter what happened in that other timeline.”
Chrysalis looked over at Jeremy guiltily. “So… that wasn’t just a dream? I… I did all of that?” she quietly asked.
Jeremy put an arm around her shoulder. “Some other version of you did, just like some other version of me probably killed you permanently. Who cares? All that matters is the alpha you and me. This you and me,” he answered, gesturing at the both of them.
After half an hour of quiet relaxation and comforting, Clockwork had calmed down enough to disengage himself from his mother. “Thanks, I… thanks,” he muttered, and Princess Celestia gazed down at him warmly.
“If you ever need somepony to talk to… well, we’ll always be here,” Celestia answered, and Clockwork smiled.
“I might just have to take you up on that,” he answered.
“So, what is my son like in the future?” Luna asked curiously.
Clockwork looked away nervously. “Uh, I… can’t reveal that, secrets of the future, you know how it is,” he answered, looking anywhere but at the moon princess. Luna frowned, but remained quiet.
Some time later, Clockwork poked Jeremy in the shoulder. “Yes?” Jeremy asked.
“This is kind of a weird favor, but I pretty much have to ask at this point: Can you write all this stuff down?” Clockwork asked.
“What stuff?” Jeremy replied, confused.
“Your adventures. You know, just so I have a record of how everything happened, so I don’t mess it up,” Clockwork explained.
Jeremy nodded. “Sure, I can do that. But where will you find it?” he asked. Clockwork smiled.
“Just post it as a fanfiction, I’ll look it up from time to time.” Jeremy smiled.
“Alright, I’ll do that,” he declared, and Clockwork smiled up at him.
“Thanks, Dad,” he quietly replied. With that, he once again disappeared in a flash of neon blue magic, and Celestia looked over at Jeremy.
“So… writing things down. Want some help with that?” she asked, and the other two looked over.
“Yeah, sure,” Jeremy answered, smiling. “It gets hard to remember all the dialogue, after all.”
Celestia giggled. “Well, we do have a few spells to fix that,” she answered, and Chrysalis grinned.
“I call writing the sex scenes,” she declared, and Luna immediately protested.
Jeremy burst out laughing, and Celestia joined in. Soon, all four of them were laughing together, and the argument between Chrysalis and Celestia had been all but forgotten, the two of them rolling around in mirth as they continued to suggest who would write what.
6-8-15, 7:12 P.M.
“So… anything you three want to do over the summer?” Jeremy questioned, at dinner.
“Four-player Twister, without the mat?” Chrysalis suggested, and Luna choked on her salad.
Jeremy repressed a giggle. “C’mon, be serious,” he urged, and Chrysalis hummed in amusement.
“I dunno… maybe we could visit some more Earthside attractions?” she wondered aloud.
Jeremy waved his hand in a so-so motion. “There’s plenty of places to go, but they’re all expensive, and I don’t think I can just generate money from Equestrian gold and pawn shops without raising some eyebrows.”
Luna chuckled. “Besides, Mary still has to keep track of you,” she reminded the group.
“Really? I thought she wanted to retire,” Jeremy rebutted.
Luna shook her head. “Nay, she got over it. Apparently, thou art quite a ‘low-maintenance’ charge most of the time.”
Jeremy snorted in amusement. “Except for those times when I’m not,” he retorted, and Celestia giggled.
“So, back to the question. What if we invited Mary to come along with us, to… Hawai’i or something?” Chrysalis asked. “It’d be as much of a vacation for her as for us.”
Jeremy briefly considered it. “Sounds like a plan, I’ll look up travel costs after this.”
Finally, they had all retired to bed, Celestia and Luna having crossed the portal momentarily to raise the sun and moon. Celestia and Chrysalis had adjourned to a room of their own, to have some fun, while Jeremy and Luna stayed behind in Luna’s room to relax. Jeremy was rubbing Luna’s belly, which had already grown slightly larger.
“Just… what? Ten more months?” he asked, and Luna nodded.
“I can’t wait to see him,” she quietly replied.
“Me neither,” Jeremy answered, twirling his finger in a circular motion as she gave a pleased sigh.
“We… I thought having a child would be such a hassle… back then, I was more concerned with the action of my life than the romance. But now… I think I would love a family,” Luna admitted, staring up at the dark ceiling.
Jeremy chuckled. “Yeah, I know how you feel. I didn’t think I’d ever find a romantic partner, let alone three. Aliens, that is. Three aliens from a fictional dimension,” he teased, and Luna gently pushed him with a hoof.
“Don’t make me talk to Lyra again,” she mock-threatened, and Jeremy grinned.
He laid his head against hers on the pillow, and she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “So, want to have some dream fun or something?” he asked, and Luna raised an eyebrow.
“What dost thou mean?” she asked, her mouth quirking upward in a smile.
“Dunno, I rather liked that one time with the submachine guns. Want to try that again?” Jeremy joked, and Luna had to hold herself back from bursting into laughter. There was the sound of some thumps from a few rooms over, and Jeremy gave Luna a knowing look.
“They hath engaged Maximum Overdrive,” Luna declared, and this time Jeremy actually did burst into laughter.
Luna softly pumped a hoof, and Jeremy looked at her curiously for a moment. “T’was another bet of ours,” Luna explained, and Jeremy clapped a hand to his forehead.
“Some day, some day , I will find a way to find out these bets of yours,” he vowed, and Luna shook her head, chuckling.
“Never!” she retorted, and Jeremy grinned again.
“Oh really?” he declared, and began to tickle her on her belly, Luna quickly doubling over as she attempted to escape.
“Bwahaha – stop, we beseech thee – haha!” Luna brayed. Her laughter was as infectious as her smile, and Jeremy had a grin to match as he showed no mercy.
Finally, after a few more minutes, he allowed her some breathing room. Luna panted for a moment, still giggling and struggling for air, and glared at him even as she smiled. Jeremy, for his part, simply gave her an indulgent grin, waiting for her response. Once Luna had gotten her breath back, she straightened up and looked him in the eye, noticing his nervous tension as he waited.
“Oh no, we shall not counter-attack… while thou art awake ,” she replied, and Jeremy paled. Luna gave a truly evil grin at his terrified expression, and lit her horn. Seconds later, Jeremy felt more tired than he’d ever been, and was gently breathing before his head even hit the pillow.
“What was that? It sounded like a thump,” Celestia wondered. “Who cares? They’re probably having a pillow fight or something,” Chrysalis dismissed. With that, she went back to suckling on Celestia’s teats, and Celestia quickly forgot any queries she might have had about the noise.
Chapter 71
10-30-15, 5:02 P.M.
Jeremy walked into the castle, to find Luna having a conversation with Celestia. The two of them were quite far along, bellies noticeably swollen. The two brightened when they saw him, and made their way over. They’d become quite slow over the past few months, due to the sheer weight of carrying their offspring, but had refused all offers of assistance from the castle staff.
“How are you today?” Luna asked, carefully pronouncing the ‘you’. Clearly, she’d been speaking in public again – Luna only ever used her old quirk around him in private nowadays.
“Pretty good. Ready for Nightmare Night?” Jeremy teased, leaning in for a quick hug and a kiss from both of them.
Luna sighed. “I am… ‘opting out’ of this year’s celebrations. I discussed things with Princess Twilight, and she has agreed to inform Ponyville. A shame, yes, but in my condition I am loathe to transform, even if by illusion.”
Jeremy nodded thoughtfully. “I was thinking about that. Glad to see you’re one step ahead of me, as usual,” he remarked playfully, gently poking Luna on her withers. She raised a hoof to push him back, but thought better of it as her belly strained to accommodate the movement.
They retired to Celestia’s bedroom. A few months ago, the castle physician had decreed that Celestia and Luna were to reschedule for shorter work hours, due to their conditions, and the two Princesses had reluctantly agreed. Jeremy could still remember the argument the two had with the doctors over their work hours, and their stubbornness brought an indulgent grin to his face every time he remembered it.
Hasbro, as diligent as ever, had immediately taken steps to cover up the Princesses’ pregnancies once informed. Jeremy wasn’t sure what they were doing, but Mary assured him that it was working.
In addition, another piece of joyous news had been revealed to them: Princess Cadance had gotten pregnant as well. Jeremy had initially drafted plans to conceal this as well from the human audience, but Hasbro had contacted him asking about details, saying that they planned to include it in an episode. Nonplussed, Jeremy had given them what he knew, and shortly afterward, the episode had come out. Jeremy still wasn’t quite sure how to deal with the ‘Fourth Wall’, and he was glad someone else was taking care of it.
They had barely relaxed for an hour when a changeling burst into the room, hackles raised and panting in exhaustion. Jeremy immediately sprang forward protectively, but upon realizing the changeling was one of his own he relaxed his stance somewhat.
“What is it?” he asked, modifying his tone midway through the sentence to sound less demanding.
“Our Queen requests your presence, it’s absolutely urgent. Her egg is hatching!” the drone replied excitedly. Jeremy’s expression broke into a wide grin, and he looked back at his two wives, both of whom merely gave an urgent nod. With no further permission needed, Jeremy turned and followed the changeling, fairly racing out the door.
The portal to the changeling hive had remained at Jeremy’s laboratory, though its security had been reinforced somewhat. The lime green wormhole was now featured in its own room, hermetically sealed off from the rest of the lab and hidden behind a solid steel door that could be opened from the inside and a keycode lock. Only Jeremy ever knew the code – he changed it every day, using a random number generator app on his phone. It was a bit crude, and would never keep out a human burglar, but most ponies had never seen an electronic lock in their lives. Punching in ‘1337’ and giggling to himself slightly, he opened the steel door and the changeling led him inside. Jeremy stepped through the swirling hole in reality, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.
The other end of the portal had been moved to Chrysalis’ own lab, which had been massively expanded as well, changelings still digging into the mountain in order to create more suitable space for their Air Force. Jeremy had always been tempted to ask just how Chrysalis managed to move 50-odd planes around without anypony noticing, but he always forgot. Today was no exception – he had more important matters on his mind. Pausing a moment to brush off a drop of water that had landed on his neck, Jeremy shuddered slightly but determinedly walked on, a glint of excitement in his faded blue-gray eyes.
To his shock, the main atrium of the Forest Hive was taken up by changelings of all colors. They were all crowding around something in the center, but parted as soon as they caught sight of Jeremy. Feeling strangely like Moses, he slowly walked forward, his changeling escort having disappeared into the crowd. As he caught sight of a familiar flash of teal hair, he increased his pace.
Queen Chrysalis was in the center of all the commotion, surrounded by a few changeling guards who were keeping the populace at bay, as well as the other Queens, who simply looked at him and exchanged smiles amongst themselves. In her hooves, she cuddled a smaller changeling, who had verdant green hair and a dark green carapace. The tiny changeling foal turned to look up at him, and Jeremy’s heart melted when he caught sight of her wide, two-toned emerald-and-peridot eyes.
“Well, hello!” Jeremy greeted, reaching out to tousle the foal’s hair. She smiled, nuzzling into his hand. Jeremy attempted to pull it away after a moment, only to find the foal had latched on, her lack of teeth made up for by the strength of her bite.
“Mmph!” the changeling protested, presumably wanting more petting.
Jeremy chuckled, and took a seat next to Chrysalis, rubbing his free hand over the tiny foal’s belly. “What’s her name?” he asked, and the High Queen smiled.
“In fact, I was waiting to announce that until you arrived. Changelings typically are given their names when they grow out of being a wriggler into a nymph, but in honor of your human tradition, I’ve decided to name her right now.”
The atrium had fallen dead silent – even the other Queens were hooked. Chrysalis whispered into Jeremy’s ear, and he grinned and nodded. Queen Chrysalis got the foal’s attention, making sure the tiny changeling was looking up at her.
“Little one, I have decided your name. You are to be Princess… Hespera,” Chrysalis announced.
For a moment, all was silent. Then the entire atrium burst into applause, startling both Jeremy and the newly christened Hespera, who buried her face under his shirt in an attempt to escape the noise.
Recovering quickly, Jeremy put a comforting hand over the changeling foal. He wondered what she was going through – one day old, and all this noise and confusion was happening. It must be awful for her , he decided. He should probably do something to get her away from all the noise.
“Maybe we should give her some quiet time?” he asked Chrysalis, unheard over the commotion. She nodded, and gave him a dismissing gesture towards her own quarters. Smiling, Jeremy gently picked his new foal up and carried her over to Chrysalis’ cocoon, Hespera staring up at him with her wide, curious eyes as he took a seat on the edge.
“Hi, sweetie,” Jeremy whispered, once he had closed the door and the noise died down. “I’m your dad.”
From the look on Hespera’s face, Jeremy could tell she hadn’t understood a word – but apparently the expression on his face told her what he meant. She leaned in for a hug, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. Jeremy calmly watched her, but his mind was in a special kind of turmoil. I have a daughter , he kept thinking to himself. He repeated it over and over, with different inflections, as though the message would sink in better. His eyes began to water, a few tears falling to the floor as he pondered this. Of all the things that had happened to him, this felt the most surreal – he had offspring. Who could have thought?
Some time later, he snapped out of his trance to find Hespera’s chest gently rising and falling – the poor changeling filly had fallen asleep. Smiling slightly, Jeremy gently lowered her into Chrysalis’ cocoon, just as the latter opened the door and quietly walked in.
“She’s all tuckered out,” Jeremy told his wife, and the two of them smiled down at their foal.
“She’s beautiful,” Chrysalis murmured, and Jeremy nodded.
“Just like her mother,” he added, and Chrysalis blushed green as she leaned closer to him.
“Beautiful enough for a kiss?” she asked, closing her eyes.
Jeremy laughed softly, and kissed her back, running his tongue over her sharp teeth. “Beautiful enough for more than that,” he teased.
She smiled, eyes watery, and looked over towards Hespera. “So… are you planning to raise her like a human, or like a changeling?” the Queen asked, and Jeremy pondered for a moment.
“Both,” he decided, and Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “She’ll have experience from both cultures. Hopefully, the best of both worlds,” Jeremy thought aloud.
Chrysalis smirked. “What about education?” she wondered.
“Maybe we could send her to a human college when she’s ready?” Jeremy answered after a moment of thought.
“Hmm,” Chrysalis hummed.
With nothing more to say, they spent a moment more gazing down at their new daughter. Their first moment as a family.
A few minutes later, audible thumps were heard as Myocia stomped her way to the door. Peeking around the door, Myocia attempted to quietly enter the room, with all the success of a herd of elephants.
“Hi,” she greeted, and Jeremy raised an eyebrow at the informal expression. Seconds later, Ethan poked his head around the door, looking distinctly nervous. Jeremy recalled Ethan had never liked visiting the Forest Hive, even after he'd been forgiven.
“Sup,” Jeremy greeted the two of them quietly, giving a pointed glance at the still-sleeping Hespera.
“She’s so adorable,” Ethan murmured. “Can I hold her?”
Jeremy gave a soft chuckle. “Maybe when she’s not sleeping,” he replied, and Ethan nodded amicably.
Myocia leaned over the cocoon, and planted a surprisingly gentle kiss on Hespera’s cheek. The tiny foal stirred in her sleep, leaning towards the source of the kiss and smiling, and Myocia grinned back. “We haven’t had a queen foal in so long… I wonder if she’ll be as interesting as her mother?” Queen Myocia jibed.
Chrysalis laughed. “Interesting? You wound me, Myocia! I was intending to be terrifying…” the Forest Queen retorted.
“You couldn’t be terrifying if you transformed into Nightmare Moon!” Myocia rebutted, and the two Queens giggled together like schoolchildren.
“How come I don’t get a kiss like that?” Ethan whispered aside to Jeremy, who shrugged.
“Cause you’re not a super-adorable baby changeling?” he tried. Ethan grumbled, but appeared to accept this logic.
“What’s she like?” Ethan asked after a moment of silence between the two of them, gesturing to Hespera.
“What do you mean?” Jeremy inquired.
“How smart is she? It seems like Equestrian foals are a lot more intelligent than human ones,” Ethan clarified.
“She seems friendly. Likes hugs, and love. She doesn’t understand language yet, but she does get social cues,” Jeremy recounted.
“So she’s one step ahead of you in that regard,” Ethan jabbed.
Jeremy grinned. “She’s two steps ahead of you, then,” he retorted.
“Hey, what are you doing for Halloween tomorrow?” Ethan asked.
Jeremy shrugged. “Luna’s staying put, so I thought I would stay with her. Be miserable together, you know?” he joked, and Ethan snorted in amusement.
“Shouldn’t you be taking care of your new daughter?” he prodded. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“That too, obviously. Honestly, some of these days I think you don’t even know about the portal between here and Canterlot.” He was met with silence from the older ex-military.
“…Ethan?” Jeremy prompted a moment later, concerned.
“God… dammit… of… course…” Ethan groaned, kneading his eyes with his fists in frustration.
“Wait. You actually didn’t know?” Jeremy queried, surprised. He thought for sure that Ethan had even used that very portal before – but, now that he stopped to remember, he couldn’t recall a single time the older human had done so. Huh.
With the event over, the various hives slowly dispersed back to their respective locations. The other Queens stopped by to say hello, Myocia and Ethan having already left for wherever the Roaming Hive was currently stationed. Finally, it was just Jeremy, Chrysalis and Hespera, alone in the chamber.
“Mind if I stay the night?” Jeremy asked. Chrysalis shook her head.
“I’m going to be creating a smaller cocoon for little Hespera, so if you enjoy the sounds of me hacking up spit for a few hours…” she joked.
Jeremy gave her a somewhat amused glare. “Sounds like a wonderful time for everyone. Need any help with anything?” he asked, half out of politeness and half wondering if he could actually help in any way with such a distinctly alien topic.
“No, but thank you. Er, actually… could you help me with these?” Chrysalis asked, gesturing to a stack of papers in the corner. Jeremy picked one up to find that it was a trade report.
“Oh boy, more economics. You’re lucky I took that job in the Business department at Case, or I’d have no idea what half this stuff meant,” Jeremy quipped.
“And now?” Chrysalis asked, grinning.
“I get… about fifty-one percent of it,” Jeremy replied, laughing as he began to check through a list of exports and prices.
There was a rumbling sound from deep underneath the hive, and Jeremy looked downward in concern, as though hoping to use his nonexistent X-ray vision to spot the cause of the problem.
“What was that?” he asked as the vibrations slowly subsided.
“Sounds like it came from the mines. I think some of our mining changelings said that the bedrock down there was getting too hard to mine through, so they’re resorting to controlled explosives,” Chrysalis answered. Jeremy gave her a concerned look.
“As long as they’re being safe about it – the last thing I want is a cave-in to crush them,” he worried.
Chrysalis chuckled. “You worry far too much. Relax, it’ll be fine. They received training from those Canterlot explosives experts, remember? They came in last week,” she reminded him.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “You mean the ones that couldn’t tell me if what they had made was nitroglycerin or triacetone triperoxide? I could have given them a quick hint: One’s solid, and the other’s liquid!”
Chrysalis laughed even harder at his frustration. “Oh, give them a break. Equestrian chemistry is laughably far behind Earth chemistry, you know that.”
Jeremy grumbled something inaudible in response, and Chrysalis gave one last chuckle before she went back to making her small cocoon for the still-sleeping Hespera.
Chapter 0.1
9-2-13, 6:30 A.M.
As per usual, Jeremy got up at exactly 6:30 A.M., rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he swung over his bed and tiptoed out of his messy room. The top of his head was freezing – he had just gotten a haircut so that the messy copper-brown curls didn’t obstruct his glasses. His milky blue eyes searched the room for a suitable outfit; finding nothing especially ironic to wear today, he simply threw on any old thing, finally settling for jeans and his old high school fleece, its bright green coloration hurting his eyes. It was a Monday, the first day of school in fact, and he was looking forward to hanging out with his old crew again, not to mention sarcastically wearing some “school spirit”. The reprieve from high school had been brief, but it had been worth it to enjoy the summer sun for once – he had gone out to a Boy Scout camp and trained the kids in the art of metalworking, as well as enjoying the beach and gun ranges for himself. Looking in the mirror, the bags under his eyes were as prominent as ever – Jeremy fervently hoped they’d be less noticeable by the time he actually drove to school.
Nobody else was up, which was once again normal – they’d all be asleep or already out to work by now, in Dad’s case. He made a sandwich, and smiled as the memory of his Scouting coworkers hit him – he’d gotten the nickname ‘Hephaestus the Sandwich Maker’ for his meticulously crafted sandwiches and position as assistant metalworking instructor. Finishing with a satisfied smack of the lips, he went back upstairs to grab his backpack, which was giving off an air of unfamiliarity due to its long absence from his tired shoulders. Sighing once as he put it on once more, he struggled to get his car keys out of his pocket, and stepped out into the garage, pressing the button to open the garage door to the outside and wincing at the loud noise – he always hoped nobody woke up from that.
His car wasn’t in here, as there was no room – rather, it was kept outside, in the already wintry September morning air. He quickly checked his home chemistry lab before he left – finding that nothing new had happened to any of his experiments, he grimaced in frustration and grumpily got into his freezing black car. It was an old model, 1997 if the number on the back was to be trusted, and it wasn’t very good in Jeremy’s opinion. Nonetheless, it got the job done. Wrenching open the frozen-over door handle, he got the car started, shivering at the cold feel of the interior.
Jeremy headed off into the still-dark Seattle-area suburbs, escaping the darkness of his neighborhood to find the surrounding area almost as dark. However, the relatively small city of Woodinville was by no means quiet at this hour, as he wasn’t the only one with early appointments. Jeremy drove towards the underpass, and took the right turn into the school grounds. Oh, here came the roundabout – he hated this part. Taking it slow, he was pleasantly surprised to find that he had managed to navigate the awful circular design successfully, and headed off to the back parking lot, noting the plethora of cars. Being a sophomore, he was entitled to arrive up to an hour late on the first day – something about ‘school privileges’. He had planned to get here early anyway, but at the last moment decided not to, favoring sleeping in instead – and now there was nowhere to park. Son of a dick. He finally decided to park in an unused corner space, carefully fitting his car into the narrow gap. Struggling, he managed to extricate himself and his backpack from his car without setting off the next car’s alarm, and headed towards the main building.
9-2-13, 6:47 A.M.
Jeremy walked forward, car locked and backpack slung over his shoulder as he fumbled for his MP3. He was planning to always get here way before the other crowds of students, mainly so he didn’t have to worry about parking – and so far, it was working beautifully. Just as he was about to take the player out of his pocket, a resounding thump jarred him out of his morning reverie, and he felt a sharp pain in his upper back. What the shit?!
Jeremy whirled around in surprise, to find that he was facing a fully grown adult, steel pipe in hand and balaclava on his face. The pipe had a curved part screwed onto the end, and it was this that he had felt. Curiously, he wasn’t feeling too bad, Jeremy reflected in the split second it took for adrenaline to surge through his veins. Maybe the guy just didn’t know how to hit? He had hit the backpack, after all, so he couldn’t know that much about seriously hurting people. Jeremy decided he would teach him, and delivered an uppercut to the man’s jaw. Unfortunately, this didn’t seem to do much other than infuriate the other person, and Jeremy decided more drastic methods were needed.
Reaching over while the other man was distracted, he grabbed the steel pipe, and ripped it out of the man’s hands. As Jeremy raised it over his head, he strangely recalled the blacksmithing lessons he’d been taught about bending and denting metal with a hammer. “Hold it at the end, and put some torque into it,” his boss had said. Jeremy had spent the rest of the week practicing his swing – by the time the kids walked in, he could hit what he aimed at, and hit hard . Well, he supposed skulls weren’t so hard as metal. Bringing the curved end down, he hit the man’s skull with a hollow thwack !
The guy dropped to the floor, whether knocked out or actually dead Jeremy didn’t know. As he stood over the body, it occurred to him what he had just done – he’d just attacked someone, maybe even killed them! Holy shit, this was bad – it was the first day of school! What had he done to deserve this?! “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” he repeated, hyperventilating slightly and curling up in a ball as tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. Okay, he could probably claim it was self-defense, but still. “This is freaking me out,” he whined to the open air, aware that he was talking to himself but far too shocked to care.
Jeremy thought he should probably take the guy’s weapons, in case he woke up or something. Frisking the body, he was shocked to find a 9mm pistol and ammunition rounds. Holy fuck, he might have just stopped a school shooter. That… changed things. Either way, he’d better get these weapons and rounds to the office posthaste so he could get to class on time.
While he walked down the frigid stone steps to the front entrance of the high school, he took a moment to examine the gun he was now carrying, mainly out of curiosity. It was made of sleek, dark steel, and looked like maybe a Glock or something – Jeremy didn’t know anything about guns outside of what video games and Boy Scouts had taught him. Clicking the safety on and shifting his grip so that it wouldn’t look like he was intending to use it, he nervously entered the huge building that housed the vast majority of the school.
The school itself, to his surprise, was empty even of students, let alone the faculty. What the hell? He was about to step into the main office to his left, when something caught his eye. There were people in the office, and one of them looked like the other guy – black outfit, balaclava, and the guy was holding a pistol. Office workers, most of whom Jeremy recognized, were cowering as the man shouted something at them. Oh, hell no. He shifted his grip once more on the pistol, clicking the safety off and seeing that it was loaded with a full magazine. Wisely, he decided to fire through the window of the door – it was one of those glass doors that permitted a full view inside, and he didn’t feel like alerting the new attacker to his presence by opening it.
He fired a single shot, and was both pleased and horrified to see that he had caught the man in the neck, blood spurting from what he assumed was the jugular vein in a wide arc as the man slumped to the floor, clutching his neck and convulsing. The glass door shattered loudly, and he winced at the noise – what if there were more of them around? Jeremy tentatively opened the door, and thought of what to say – he had just legitimately shot a person to death, right in front of a group of people that were essentially his superiors. No question about it, either, as the man stopped twitching and lay still – he was definitely very dead. Wow. This escalated quickly , Jeremy thought. He approached the still-cowering office workers.
“I…” he began.
What was he going to say? What even could he say to something like this? It all seemed like a bad dream – hopefully he’d wake up soon, if that was the case. For all his idolization of figures like Chell, Gordon Freeman, Solid Snake and plenty more, Jeremy frankly didn’t think he was cut out to do stuff like this – did that make him a coward?
“Please tell me this is some sort of joke or something,” he finally begged the staff.
One hesitantly spoke up. “It’s… it’s not,” they answered, and Jeremy felt his heart plummet to his shoes.
“Then… what do I do?” he asked, holding up the pistol he had recovered and the steel pipe and feeling slightly faint.
“Lay low and wait until the police arrive?” one staff suggested. Jeremy shook his head.
“They’ll just kill people in the meantime. So… to make sure nobody else dies…” he sighed, hating the words he knew he had to say.
“I have to go back out there.”
The faculty members, to his surprise, didn’t object – perhaps they agreed, or were too scared to argue. Jeremy searched his second unmoving body of the day, coming up with more pistol rounds and a second pistol. Having a thought, he dumped the former contents of his backpack – books, papers and all – onto a nearby chair, and placed the ammo boxes and extra pistol inside.
“Where are the other kids?” he asked, still nervous – he knew he was supposed to be the super-serious action hero at this point, if he was going to save people, but he was still too scared out of his mind to acknowledge this.
“Most are at the school spirit assembly,” a staff member faintly answered. “We think they’re planning to kill them off one by one, but they haven’t started yet – apparently they were waiting for the seniors to show up.”
Jeremy looked at him. “Alright, at least they’re still alive. Now… just to make really, really sure, for legal reasons and whatever. It’s perfectly okay with everyone if I start shooting back at these people?” he asked, feeling as though he were about to drop already.
“Wha - yes, you idiot! What do you think?!” a woman answered, apparently finally getting over the atmosphere of fear that had permeated the room.
Jeremy looked her dead in the eyes, his inner teenager on auto-respond to such snark. “Well, I think this is all a terrible dream or hallucination, and I just don’t want to be held responsible. But excuse me for questioning my reality,” he sarcastically answered, and sauntered out of the room.
He was about to start when a loud squeaking sound came from one of his shoes – Jeremy realized with some embarrassment that he had scuffed it against the tile floor. That was going to be problematic… wait! He had an idea. Jeremy grinned delightedly as he slipped off his shoes, carefully depositing them by the door to the office. Taking a few steps, he was dismayed to learn that now his jacket was making noise. True, it was cold even inside, but he didn’t want to die just because of his jacket. Shrugging, he took that off too, and this time was pleased to note that he was utterly silent when moving. Excellent. He started off down the nearest corridor on this floor, walking past the balcony that overlooked the huge cafeteria and noting that there was no activity down there.
Gripping the pistol tightly, he took it slow, taking care to search every corner of the school with his eyes. To his dismay, he found in the corner of one of the tile corridors a black, curved object. Picking it up, his suspicions were confirmed – it was a magazine for an automatic rifle. He was going up against people with machine guns. With a pistol.
He was so fucked.
A moment later, he heard noise further down the corridor. Silently creeping up, Jeremy discerned the noise to be a girl crying and pleading for help as a man threatened her with a magnum. She appeared to be the first of several in a line, each unmoving due to fright. The man shouted something at her in a language neither she nor Jeremy understood, and when she couldn’t respond, slapped her across the face. Jeremy leaned around the corner, aiming down the sights. Just as he was about to fire, the girl’s glance shifted over to him, and the man looked around as well. Hurriedly, Jeremy emptied a few chambers into his head, any thought of silenced killing gone as he wildly opened fire. The man slumped to the floor covered in spatters of blood, gurgling before giving a rattling sigh and going still. Jeremy lowered the pistol, and strode over, approaching the girl.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
Her tearstained eyes moved to look at him, and she nodded. Jeremy held out an arm, and she tentatively took it as he led her back to her classroom, stealing the guard’s magnum along the way.
Inside was a teacher he recognized – this guy had been his English teacher last year. Hell of a guy, too – he always told the funniest stories. Unfortunately, the look on the teacher’s face was all serious. “Sup,” Jeremy greeted as he escorted the girl inside, locking the classroom door. There were several more students there, who regarded him with a mixture of fear and admiration. He turned to face the freshman class, feeling oddly as though he were giving a presentation.
“Okay, here’s what you guys are gonna do. Lock the doors, close the windows, and lay low. I’m going to need a phone number so I can text you guys when it’s safe to come out. In the meantime,” he continued, rifling through his backpack before pulling out his second, empty pistol, and handing it to the English teacher. “Do you know how to use this?” he asked. The teacher nodded fearfully. “If I don’t text you in a day, and you need to get food, do so. If someone tries to enter, and I haven’t texted you? Shoot them,” he concluded. He placed a box of ammunition on the desk, and made his way back towards the door. “Go Falcons,” he drily concluded as he walked out, and he could’ve sworn he heard someone snort with laughter.
As he left, it occurred to Jeremy that he should probably rescue the kids in the gym – that was where the assembly was, and there was bound to be a few hundred trapped in there. Casually swinging his steel pipe in one hand and holding the magnum in the other, he was unpleasantly surprised by a pair of the odd black soldiers rounding the corner. Faster than either could react, he shot the first in the head with the magnum with an echoing crack , and reached out with the pipe to slam the hand of the second against the wall, causing them to drop their pistol. As the first slumped to the floor in a pool of blood, Jeremy noticed the first trying to take a knife out of its hidden sheath, and attempted to quickly shoot him too. Unfortunately, he got a knife in the side for his efforts. Giving out a small cry of pain, Jeremy brought the gun forward through a haze of tears and clicked the trigger once more. Another crack sounded, and the man fell forward. Jeremy looked down at the knife sticking out of him, noticing the blood trickling. How the fuck was he still alive ? He vaguely wondered. Well, at any rate, he needed to get patched up before doing anything else.
He wandered down the corridor, blood dripping from his stomach as he clutched it in pain.
Chapter 8
By the time Jeremy woke up and went outside, he noticed a fresh stack of clothes had been deposited at his front door. Skipping breakfast, he tried them on, noticing that they fit extremely well, on top of being comfortable and easy to wear. At around noon, he went down to find some lunch. To his surprise, the restaurant he chose refused payment. “On us,” they explained. He politely thanked them, and went on his way.
As he walked along, he wondered about hanging out with Luna, now that he intended to stay in Equestria for some unknown amount of time. She was evidently only awake during the night, so would he have to adjust his sleep schedule? Hmm. If he slept from midnight to noon, that would give him an equal time for each day, as Luna officially raised the moon around 6 P.M., and lowered it around 6 A.M. Of course, it wasn’t like he was busy. Jeremy decided to change that.
9-17-13, 8:42 P.M.
When next Luna visited Jeremy’s apartment, he was clearly busy. The skritch-skratch of a pencil on paper could be heard, and the desk he was sitting at was cluttered with drawings and notes. She walked over and examined some of them. “Those aren’t current,” Jeremy pointed out.
As Luna studied the diagrams, she smirked. “Thou art drawing up thy video games’ weapons?”
Jeremy nodded. “I might as well do something while I’m here, and I like to build things.”
Luna seemed to consider this. “Well, these are certainly… interesting… although we don’t think even a miniature black hole could be contained like this.”
Jeremy frowned. “Yeah, I know. It’d take some serious magic, and even then, what would prevent it from simply collapsing? It’d have to be fed something… Not to mention that it would have to shoot bits of itself.” Luna studied the diagram.
“We believe there may be some related research at the Royal Canterlot Library in the Physics section – why don’t thou look there?”
Jeremy was about to agree, then stopped himself. “Don’t I need permission to be in there?” he asked.
Luna laughed. “And who would give permission? We hath already informed the castle staff of thy tenure here, so there is no cause for worry.”
Jeremy blushed. “Right. Well, I’ll check it out.”
As Luna was about to leave, Jeremy remembered something. “Hey, Luna?”
She turned around. “Yes?” Jeremy thought about how best to ask.
“I was wondering… do you know where I could get a job? I’d like to not be a freeloader, if that’s at all possible.”
Luna considered for a while. “We think we have just the one. Give us a day or so to confirm with our sister, but we think thou will like it.” With that, she trotted away. Jeremy wondered what the job could be, but decided to worry about it later – he had some blueprints to draw.
9-17-13, 9:34 P.M.
The library, at least, was easy to find. It was inside the castle walls, up a few staircases, easily marked by its large glass ceiling. As Jeremy walked in, he nodded at the librarian, who after a moment’s hesitation nodded back. It was nighttime, so while the library was still very active, it was not crowded. Jeremy made his way over to the nonfiction section, and searched up and down the aisles until he came to a physics section. From there, he found a book on black holes, another on teleportation, and a third on alternative methods of magical transportation. Satisfied for now, he checked the books out and left.
Given that the ball was at 10:00, he had just enough time to speedwalk back to his apartment, drop off the books, and set off again. He slowly made his way to the location, and once he got there he saw that it was easily the busiest place around. He got into the line, and when he got to the front, the bouncer asked him for a ticket. “I was not given one,” Jeremy said slowly, hoping he hadn't missed some envelope or something during the few minutes he had been at his apartment.
“Wait… you’re the 'human', right?” the bouncer asked. Jeremy nodded.
“My mistake, go right ahead,” the bouncer replied smoothly, and Jeremy shrugged and walked in. As he went, he noticed that the place had been decked out to give a sense of romanticism – heart-shaped pillows, pink and red light fixtures, and so on. He found the stage, and noted that the audience area included what appeared to be a bar. He took a seat at the bar, feeling distinctly out of place and underage, and examined the menu posted behind the counter on the wall. To his surprise, it was fairly tame stuff, such as bagels and grape juice. Jeremy still wanted to pay for things, so he refused to order.
Jeremy stared down at the dark, varnished wooden table, wishing he had some sort of money to actually pay for some kind of beverage - all that speedwalking had left him thirsty. From the seat on his right, an oddly colored paw pushed over a glass of vibrantly red punch, evidently intending that he drink it. Jeremy took the punch, mumbling his surprised thanks, and began sipping away at the cherry-red liquid. As he drank, a thought occurred to him, and he stopped sipping the punch to look back down at the cream-colored bear paw. He was still a little culture-shocked by this land of colorful talking ponies, so it took him a while to realize that the bear paw was not, in fact, normal - even under these circumstances. He turned to its owner, eyes traveling quite a distance upward before they hit their ketchup-and-mustard-colored counterparts, and dropped his cup in alarm. It landed quite unharmed on its side, the liquid staying in – Discord was sitting next to him, watching him with an expression of utmost amusement as the draconequus crossed his arms and leaned back slightly on his wooden seat. Jeremy coughed nervously, sending punch through his nostrils. “Why are you here?” he asked warily, unable to keep his cool expression and hiding his face by wiping it with his sleeve - it was one thing to laugh at Discord's antics in the show, and quite another to meet the guy in real life. This draconequus could literally turn him into a carrot if he so desired. He noticed the sweat on his arms, unhelpfully noting it was probably due to nerves. Discord, noticing his fear, laughed uproariously.
“Oh, so you’ve heard of me! Good, good. As for why I’m here… well, surely you know what this night is for ?” Discord asked, with the air of one about to drop the nuclear bombshell of a lifetime and a smile that stretched halfway to his ears. Jeremy shook his head, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Oh my, Luna told you nothing? She must have wanted to surprise you, then! Well, I don’t see any harm in spoiling it prematurely – this is a couple’s night karaoke. You know, the style where one asks out the other in song?” Jeremy began blushing furiously – why did Luna invite him to this? “And, my, who could be on the singing list?” Jeremy seriously hoped it wasn’t him – he was not prepared for this. “Why, good old Princess Luna!” Discord continued mercilessly, leaving Jeremy feeling slightly faint. “Of course, she hasn’t sung for anypony in a thousand years or so due to going crazy and trying to enslave everypony as Nightmare Moon - oh, I'm sorry, she probably didn't tell you that either. Spoilers!"
Jeremy looked at him, taking a moment to interrupt wherever this conversation was going. "Actually, I knew beforehand," he mentioned, and Discord appeared to be stumped for a moment.
Recovering quickly, he smugly continued. "Well, who knows? Maybe she’ll finally pick somepony - oops! Wrong suffix, my mistake. Or is it? Ta ta, enjoy the punch!” And with that, Discord disappeared in a flash of pink, choking smoke. Jeremy stared at the spot Discord had just occupied, coughing and attempting to wave away the smoke.
Surely, Discord had been kidding. He and Luna hardly knew each other! Sure, they were developing friends, but Jeremy felt this would be going a little too fast. Also, he was an alien . Jeremy didn't think for a second that Princess Luna's first impression upon meeting an alien race would be "Boyfriend material". As he waved away the smoke, Princess Cadance took a seat next to him, surprising him once again. “What was that all about?” she asked.
“Discord,” Jeremy coughed by way of explanation. Cadance wisely nodded and blew away the rest of the smoke with a flap of her wings. “So…” Jeremy casted about for some form of conversation. “You must have thought me pretty gluttonous last time we met,” he nervously laughed.
Cadance giggled. “Not really. Luna told me how long it’d been since you last ate, it’s perfectly understandable - in fact, how did you stay awake so long? Is your kind normally energetic enough to fight like that for hours?”
Jeremy chuckled. “Yeah… probably should’ve packed some food instead of the medical supplies - which I forgot to bring anyway. And definitely not, I think it might have been adrenaline or something - I don't exercise that much.”
From there, they discussed the various aspects of cleaning up Equestria after the war. “The recuperation effort seems to be going pretty well, and I’ve stayed behind to help, as well as for this night. It’s my favorite night of the season!” Cadance excitedly proclaimed. This only confirmed Jeremy’s half-dread, half-anticipation, and he attempted to find a change of subject.
“…Say, whatever did happen to Chrysalis?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Oh, she’s in the dungeon. She’ll have a trial, and be appropriately punished.” Cadance said. From the look on her face at the mention of Queen Chrysalis, Jeremy didn’t really want to press the matter further.
“So, why is this your favorite night?” Jeremy asked.
“Because, all these ponies falling in love, and I don’t even have to help them along. It’s great!” Cadance said, beaming.
"Say, I noticed Luna's on the singing list - and while he's not exactly reliable, Discord did say something about proposing via song. Who's she singing to?" Jeremy asked, dreading the answer.
To his surprise, Cadance shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine - although to be honest, I can never read her properly. With other ponies, I can tell when they're in love, but Auntie Luna's always been a bit of an enigma. Maybe she's finally come out of her shell?" Jeremy shrugged, before pausing in thought.
“How even does your magic work? I know how love works in the brain, but does your spell excite just the right neuroreceptors, or what?” Jeremy asked, scientifically interested.
Cadance thought for a while. “That’s one way of putting it – as far as I know, I just mix the love in my own body with a little magic and send it out. Some Crystal Pony scientists tell me that it's actually magic mixed with three chemicals - dop...dopamine? And... two others, although they don't quite know which.” Jeremy nodded appreciatively, as this knowledge might come in handy later - and he did know which three compounds they were talking about. He was about to say something else, but at that moment the lights dimmed and the stage brightened. A very formally dressed mare slowly walked out, picking up the microphone.
“Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the two hundred and twenty-fifth annual Couples’ Night Karaoke, Day One. Joining us today are…” she pulled out a list of names and read down, without once stopping for breath. Thankfully, the list was fairly short, but Princess Luna was near the end of the list. So Discord wasn’t kidding , Jeremy thought. Does she really mean something by this, or am I just reading too far into it?
The first singer went up on stage, a colt with a brown coat, yellow hair and blue eyes. Jeremy examined the line of ponies waiting to sing – Luna was curiously missing from her place. On the other hand, this pony had a beautiful voice as he sang lustily about a certain fair maiden – who, judging from the teary-eyes and cheering, was somewhere in the middle. Cadance was watching with a faraway expression on her face, and Jeremy looked on in trepidation.
As the list progressed, Jeremy got more and more concerned. All the ponies had great singing voices – yet they surely couldn’t all be professional singers. He reflected back to the times he had hummed and sang while he was here – he’d been nothing short of perfect, each time. What was up with that? He’d ask Cadance or Luna after the performances were finished.
Finally, it was Luna’s turn to sing. Luna walked on from backstage, and Jeremy skipped a beat. She was wearing her hair in a classic ponytail – still not quite normal for hair, but it was certainly obeying the laws of gravity – and he could tell she did that just to mess with him. Jeremy adopted a casual expression and began to take a sip of the fruit punch as she began her song. It sounded kind of familiar.
Youtube Video
“I threw a wish in the well, don’t ask me – I’ll never tell…”
Jeremy’s hand froze halfway to his mouth. No way. No way . Was he hearing right? Luna caught his eyes, and winked at him. Next thing he knew, he was sitting right at the front as she continued to sing. Jeremy watched, unsure of how to react. On one side of his brain, his sarcastic demeanor was more vitriolic than ever. Of course you should have seen this coming . You’re a hero, her new best friend, and all that . On the other, his realism was kicking him something fierce. Her? Wanting you? Ridiculous . She’s a princess. She has anyone on the planet to choose from – what are the odds of her choosing a violent alien who happened to help her once ? Luna continued singing as ever, but seemed to be glancing concernedly at him every once in a while. Jeremy, after quieting his inner voices, went back to paying attention and gave her the thumbs up. At the very least, he could rate her performance truthfully – if he were blind, he’d swear on oath that Carly Rae herself was right in front of him.
Luna finished her serenade, and stepped right off the stage in front of him. “So, how was that?” she asked. Do it , his sarcastic voice prompted. Don’t do it! his realistic one pleaded. Ah, to hell with it, Jeremy decided, and immediately hugged her. “That was the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life,” he said to the audience at large, who burst into applause.
Luna returned the hug, and to his shock, kissed him on the cheek. “We are glad thou enjoyed it…” she said.
Jeremy looked around at the crowd, who was watching them expectantly. Oh, right. This is the part where you ask. Jeremy gulped nervously, and cleared his throat. “Luna… would you like to be my girlfriend?” A few hollers were quickly quieted.
Luna looked up at him, eye-to-eye. “Yes… we have decided. You are the one we want.” Once again, the entire audience burst into applause, in the traditional pony way of stamping their hooves, and Jeremy was reminded of how odd this was for high society.
As Luna had been near the bottom of the list, the rest of the songs went quickly. As Luna and Jeremy filed out of the seating area, Cadance gave them a wink and a nod, and Jeremy, after some hesitation, returned the nod before turning back to Luna with a seriously confused expression. "What made you want to be with me, anyway? I'm not exactly prime coltfriend material, martyr complex aside. Plus, I'm an alien - you're seriously not batting an eyebrow that I'm one and a half times your height, have almost no fur, am bipedal and have odd coloration?" Luna looked at him in shock, and her expression quickly turned to anger.
"We do not care! No pony has risked themselves so fiercely for us, and no stallion dares court us in our world! Thy looks are irrelevant - is it not always said that it is deeds that count in the annals of history?!" By now, she was quite terrifying, wings outstretched and her voice firmly locked in Canterlot Royal. Jeremy backed away, hands raised in surrender, and Luna looked at him for a moment before calming down, her wings drooping back down to fold at her sides as she adopted a penitent look. "We have tried romance before. We always failed. To them, we were either the untouchable Princess of their nation... or the last remnant of a monster." Where before she had looked terrifyingly huge, now she looked small and scared - Jeremy had an extremely strong urge to hug her. But he didn't think she'd take that well, so he remained silent. Sensing this, Luna pressed on. "But thou... thou art different . Thou art unaffected by my history, even with thy knowledge... and thou hast treated me as nothing but a friend. Just... a normal friend..." Luna sniffled for a moment, and that tiny motion was like a battleaxe straight to Jeremy's heart.
Jeremy sighed, and extended an arm out, pulling her into a hug against his better judgement. Luna appeared surprised, but a second later nuzzled into it, looking up at him with a watery smile. Jeremy smiled back, not even caring anymore that he was in the middle of the street and there were ponies watching. "Sure, you're scary. I'll admit that you've terrified me more than once." The ponies behind Luna were frantically shaking their heads, but Jeremy ignored them - he had to finish where he was going with this. "But... that's part of the fun of being around you. I'm never bored when you're around, and..." He trailed off, realizing what he was saying.
Luna looked at him for a moment, before smiling slightly. "See? Thou understand after all." Jeremy realized he had just talked himself into the opposite viewpoint - that he and Luna cared for each other after all, and this wasn't some fever dream. Unable to form a response, he remained silent, before slapping a hand to his forehead and chuckling. He got back to his feet, and Luna straightened out a bit before motioning for him to follow her.
“So, we may as well 'keep the ball turning', so to speak - art thou in the mood for another surprise?” Luna asked. Jeremy raised an eyebrow and nodded, ignoring the improper phrase - he figured she probably got enough nagging for that already.
Luna led Jeremy to an office complex, inside a door that was labeled “Research and Development”. For the first time, there was a lock on the door. Luna took out a very old-fashioned key, and unlocked it. Pulling on the light switch, on a single table in the center, surrounded by various experiments, was a computer. “Whoa…” Jeremy whispered. The monitor was, of course, silver-plated, and as big as a desk drawer. The computer itself was almost as big, but Jeremy put this off – this was probably the first computer ever built, after all. Luna turned it on, and Jeremy was once again surprised – it was currently signed in to his accounts.
“No Internet – we couldn’t establish any kind of connection without having a constantly open interdimensional portal nearby,” Luna explained.
Jeremy nodded. “Understandable,” he said. “This is clearly the best gift I have ever received.”
Luna blushed at the compliment. “Before taking thy leave, we would recommend thou examine the desk.” Jeremy, still wanting to play around with the computer, reluctantly left to study the desk.
The silver placard caught his eye. “Head of Experimental Design – Jeremy”, he read. And then read it again.
“Design away – and we’ll find the materials that can do the job. Not bad for thy first employment here, hmm?” Luna said, smirking. Jeremy’s hand shook. All the weapons. All of them . He thought of something to say, some small parlance that could express his tidal wave of gratitude.
Fortunately, Luna seemed to get it. “Thy pay rate is determined by how much thou do – so don’t feel too grateful…” Jeremy chuckled - that wouldn't be a problem for a long time.
Luna left shortly after, to attend to royal business - but not before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and causing him to blush furiously. As Jeremy walked home, he noticed ponies were staring and pointing even more, if that was possible. True to form, he ignored it.
9-17-13, 11:04 P.M.
Jeremy slumped down on his bed, sighing happily – it had been a hell of a night, though by no means a bad one. Tucking himself into bed, he turned on the small lamp next to the bed and opened the first book. For the rest of the night, he was lost in the intrigue of theoretical and magical physics – taking notes, drawing new diagrams, and crossing those out and drawing newer diagrams. He hardly noticed when his head hit the pillow and he sunk into dreamland…
Chapter 16
9-23-13, 3:07 P.M.
Jeremy relaxed in his office, trying to find a comfortable position. He was bored out of his mind, and quickly running out of things to draw. He had exhausted the available supply of weapons to draw – if he didn’t come up with something new soon, he would most likely be out of a job. But what to do? He lounged about for a while, attempting to come up with something and failing miserably. The fact was, he simply didn’t have enough cultural experience to draw on for much longer – and while he certainly had a few ideas for original weapons, they were all pipe dreams. He decided to take a break, and checked the portal to the changeling hive – it was still open. Which reminded him – he needed to design a way to turn the portals off. He began drawing on a new sheet of paper, already satisfied that he had found something to do.
He had barely started when there was a knock on the door. Jeremy frowned – he wasn’t expecting anyone. He opened the door to find a lime green pony with mint-colored hair, and a beige pony with blue and pink hair – obviously Lyra and Bon Bon. “Er… hello,” he greeted them. Lyra gave a squeal of joy and held out a hoof. “Hi, my name is Lyra and this is Bon Bon! I can’t believe I’m meeting a real human!” Oh yeah, Jeremy remembered. This was the background pony, who many believed had an obsession with humans for some reason.
Odd how we predicted that, he thought as he shook her hoof. “I’m Jeremy, nice to meet you.” He invited them inside, and they sat down at an unused worktable. “So, what brings you here?” Jeremy asked.
Bon Bon rolled her eyes at Lyra. “She’s a big fan of humans – no offense, but they’re presumed mythical.” Jeremy chuckled.
“You know what’s ironic? I haven’t met a single intelligent species here that wasn’t mythical back on our planet.” Lyra nodded, eager for more information, so Jeremy continued. “Unicorns? Fictional. Pegasi? Nope, don’t exist either. You can guess about alicorns. Ponies do exist, but they’re… different. They don’t talk, or anything – kind of like how pets are here. Let’s see… Dragons are mythical, gryphons too, and I never even heard of draconequii until I started researching this place.”
He steepled his fingers, and thought about what to say. “So… what about you? Are there any cool legends about humans I should know about?”
Lyra blushed, and Bon Bon laughed. “She’s written most of the current works on humans,” Bon Bon explained. Lyra blushed even harder. “Just a few… stories I wrote,” she mumbled.
Jeremy chuckled. “I’d actually like to read those someday, if you don’t mind,” he responded. Lyra promised she would mail copies over, and shook his hand once more before leaving.
For a moment, he sat at his desk before resuming his drawing. Well, that was… fascinating, Jeremy reflected. It seemed some non-canon interpretations of ponies were actually affecting their personality. Or was it the other way around? Maybe some psychic influence whispered to the viewers about personality traits not yet revealed on the show. Jeremy groaned and attempted to stave off his rising temporal headache by drinking some water. If he was thinking such metaphysical thoughts, it was fairly clear that he was back to being bored. He decided to build something random, and began rummaging through the parts bin in the main work area. A few minutes later, he had pulled out a coil of wire, some huge capacitors, a trigger mechanism, and a small adjustable nuclear power source. Jeremy stared at the fusion battery for a moment – if Earth had even one of these, their energy problems would be solved. Then again, if Earth had a lot of the stuff Equestria had… they would probably just use it to kill each other even faster, wouldn’t they.
He went over to the workstation. One in particular was used for prototyping models, as the user could draw a three-dimensional hologram and have it printed out in any material they wanted, provided they inserted the material or its components into a tray. He drew up a simple tube, with both ends open and a handle on one end. While it printed, he went over to the newly formed electronics station – evidently Luna had been looking into more than just his surface thoughts. Or maybe she had done some research of her own – Jeremy did seem to remember that she was the one who built the circuit for the infrared camera. Either way, he began soldering together his pet project. It was fairly simple – the capacitors got wired in parallel, and hooked up to the coil and the trigger, which in turn were hooked up to the battery. When he clicked the trigger, the metal contacts shorted, creating a quick but very strong magnetic field – it was like a coilgun on steroids. The power supply could be adjusted to output any current he wished, so he set it to one amp for testing. Grabbing a nail from the parts bins, he placed it to the side before walking over and grabbing the freshly printed ‘gun’ part. The plastic was lightweight, but durable. Jeremy walked over to the glue station, and grabbing a tube of industrial strength, fast-setting glue, went outside and used the heat of the sun to evaporate the glue solvent and attach everything that much quicker. Ten minutes later, it was dry and ready for testing. Jeremy walked back inside, grabbed the nail, and placed it down the barrel before puzzling over where to aim. In the end, he decided on the ground – it was better than shooting holes in the walls. He aimed the barrel just a little downward so the nail wouldn’t fall out, and clicked the trigger. The nail shot out much faster than his eye could follow, and he concernedly looked for where it had landed. To his surprise, he found only a small hole in the ground, angled about where he shot from – the nail had dug right through the earth. Jeremy didn’t want to dig it up, so he placed the gun on an empty workstation and labeled it before going back to drawing.
9-23-13, 6:47 P.M.
Dinner had been nice – he had grabbed a grilled vegetable sandwich, and had been pleasantly surprised at the flavor combination. As he walked back into the office, he noticed another box waiting for him, right next to the coilgun. Next to that was a note. “This ‘coilgun’ is very intriguing – it is such a simple weapon… Keep up the good work! I hope you like your present – we only just got around to boxing it. Love, Luna,” Jeremy read aloud. Aw yeah, a present. He grabbed a knife and tore the box open, noting that the package was much longer than it was wide. In the box were a pair of white boots, with black heel braces bent into an upside-down question mark. Jeremy was inordinately pleased – he had to start making up for these ridiculously amazing presents to Luna somehow. Inside was another note, so before he put them on, Jeremy picked that up and read it. “Maybe try these out with the suit?” was written in Luna’s typical dark blue, cursive writing. One of the many things Jeremy was embarrassed about was his writing – it looked like chicken scratch compared to hers. Oh well. He went over and got on the suit, and then slipped the boots on over that. It was a little difficult to walk using just the balls of his feet, but the brace in the back certainly helped – it was sturdy and almost inflexible, made of what could have been rubber. Just then, Jeremy remembered he had to go talk to Celestia – he didn’t have time to undress, so he immediately set off for the castle. It was a short walk, but there were plenty of stairs and places to jump, so he got some practice in with the boots. As expected, he felt not a single jolt of shock from landing – it was like he was taking steps, only his feet were both off the ground. As soon as he entered the castle grounds, the sun lowered and the moon rose. At this point, Jeremy was used to the sudden change. He headed towards the throne room, noting that less ponies were out and about in the castle at night. He vaguely wondered if Luna had enough company, but remembered she had her own guards.
Celestia greeted him with a small smile when he entered. “Greetings, Jeremy,” she stated, then waited for him to approach. Jeremy did so, feeling like he was about to enter on a noble quest or something.
“So, yeah, I wanted to talk to you about the whole changeling business. I know I was being rash, but I saw a solution I thought worked for everybody, and I made it happen before you made it impossible to happen,” Jeremy explained. Celestia nodded serenely.
“I suppose that makes sense, but next time give me a little heads-up when you think of something like that – until Luna told me about your interesting design for the love machine, I could have sworn you were under Queen Chrysalis’ spell.” Jeremy nodded – understandable. Celestia appeared to be examining his getup. “Say, where did you get those boots?” she noted.
“Oh, these? I just got them today. Luna made them for me, and they are amazing.” Oddly, Celestia’s expression darkened somewhat upon hearing her sister’s name – but only for a moment, before returning to normal.
“I suppose Luna makes a lot of things for you?” she asked, her tone carefully modulated to sound serene and wise as usual.
Jeremy had the distinct feeling he had done something wrong, but wasn’t entirely sure what. “Yeah, we make a lot of stuff together – I do the drawing, she does the building, and then I do the testing,” he mentioned casually. Clearly this was the wrong thing to say, as Celestia once again twitched with anger, not quite fast enough to be a spasm but not slow enough to be easily noticeable.
“You must really care for her,” Celestia noted.
“Yes… I do,” Jeremy replied, by now thoroughly uncertain where this conversation was going.
“Could you care for me in the same way?” Celestia asked, a hint of seduction creeping into her voice. Jeremy was officially alarmed – was Celestia hitting on him ?
"Um..." he intelligently responded. Princess Celestia gently laughed.
"Oh, you are funny. I can see why Lulu likes you so much! But, after all, it's pretty clear who's got the better looks, don't you think?" she asked, flipping her mane stylishly.
“I… appreciate the offer… but I’m already boyfriend to Luna, so I’m gonna have to say no,” he answered. This time, Celestia’s fury stayed on her expression.
“Is she better than me? How? I am the protector and ruler of this land, the wisest and most powerful princess in all Equestria, the goddess of the sun – there is none better than I!” Her expression wild, she sprang off her throne and faced him, wings outstretched threateningly. “How dare you reject me for her!”
Jeremy decided that now would be an excellent time to run. “Sorry, but that's how I feel and... bye !” Jeremy said, backing away. Celestia almost looked as though she would follow through and attack him, but then her wings and head drooped down, and she adopted an expression that suggested she was about to cry. Jeremy, unsure of how sincere she was being, continued backing out the door, and as soon as he was out booked it into the night, heading for the office.
What the hell? What the actual hell ? was the only thought Jeremy could process as he slowed his pace to a jog. Clearly he had made some social misstep – but what? As far as he knew, Jeremy was within his rights not to leave Luna for Celestia. That was the point of romantic love – together for life, right? He was so confused, and needed someone to talk to - someone who knew stuff about pony romance. Luna was out of the question - she'd probably either laugh at him or hate him for hurting her sister. It occurred to him that if there was anyone who could help him with his romance problem, it was Chrysalis – and she was right around the corner, so to speak. Jeremy checked her room – Chrysalis still wasn’t there. He ventured out into the changeling hive, still not seeing her. He noticed that less changelings were gathered around the love machine – some were clustered around the edge of the chasm, looking down. Jeremy walked over and joined them, looking down himself. To his surprise, Chrysalis was on a lower ledge about thirty feet down, speaking with a larger, male changeling, who appeared to be holding a changeling baby. This Jeremy had to see, so he decided to put his newly made Long Fall Boots to a more serious test, and jumped down. He landed with a small thump, once again feeling nothing. Now that he was down here, he could hear the conversation.
“But, my Queen- !” the male changeling protested.
“Silence, drone! I will be obeyed. You know the rules – we must curtail production of larvae. We are no longer at war.” The drone lowered his head in submission, and flew off.
Chrysalis turned around, noticing Jeremy leaning against a cave. “Hello again. What brings you all the way down here?” she asked.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t that far down. Anyway, I was hoping I could get your advice on something.” Chrysalis smirked.
“Let me guess. Romantic problems?” Jeremy tentatively nodded, and Chrysalis laughed. “You’re asking the queen of changelings on love advice! This is rich. Very well, I’ll help you.” She flew up to the ground-level ledge, and Jeremy looked up, stupidly remembering that he couldn’t get back up easily. Well, there were convenient handholds from the odd ovoid holes that pockmarked the hive walls. He cracked his knuckles, and began climbing up the wall. A few minutes later, he was on top, panting from the effort.
“You know… you could have… teleported me… to save time…” he panted. Chrysalis chuckled.
“But then I wouldn’t get to watch you be so landlocked – it’s hilarious!” Jeremy groaned, and followed her to her personal hive.
Chrysalis took an extremely suggestive pose on the floor, almost mockingly seductive in nature. “So, my little romantic grub, what’s the problem?” Jeremy, after hesitating for a moment, took a seat in front of her and began to explain.
“…And then I got the hell out of there,” he finished. Chrysalis considered his words for a moment.
“And you said the reason you couldn’t be with her was because you were already with Luna?” Jeremy nodded. “Interesting… I can see what you did wrong, but her response wasn’t right either…” Chrysalis mused.
“Okay, so what did I do?” Jeremy asked, putting aside his apparently shared reservations towards Celestia’s personality towards him.
“To put it one way, you were being very rude by rejecting her at all – though… Hmm. How many marefriends do humans normally have back home?” Chrysalis asked seriously.
Jeremy darkly chuckled. “The legal limit on marefriends on Earth is zero – remember we talked about the whole ‘sentient-species-only’ thing? As for girlfriends, the human term, the limit is one – any more and it’s a crime, or something.”
Chrysalis nodded understandingly. “And there’s your problem – here, there’s no such limit,” she revealed. Jeremy was visibly surprised by this.
“You can have as many partners as you want?” he asked, alarmed.
“Yes,” Chrysalis affirmed.
“Why? I’ve never seen any evidence of this,” he noted.
Chrysalis sat up in a more serious pose. “The population of Equestria is so low, they don’t need such limits – the only reason I know of them is observing them in other species. Gryphons, for example, only take one life partner.”
Jeremy nodded, semi-interested. “So, when I turned her down, she thought I was being a prude instead of the other way around?” Jeremy asked, to confirm his thoughts. Chrysalis nodded.
“Actually, I was wondering the same thing when you turned me down, a few days ago.” Jeremy looked at her.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Anyway, now you know why, and… Sorry, I guess?”
Chrysalis waved a hoof in dismissal. “That’s alright. So, with that settled… what are you going to do now?”
Jeremy thought a while. “I suppose I should go explain, again, to Celestia, and apologize… again. And… try not to get incinerated by sun powers? That’s pretty high on the list.” Chrysalis laughed.
“I know the feeling. All I can say is… tread carefully.” Jeremy nodded, and got up and left the cave.
He didn’t stick around in the office, instead immediately heading back to his apartment. There, he got on his pajamas, and climbed into bed. Instead of sleeping, he stared at the ceiling, still a little in shock at what he had just learned. Jeremy hoped he was still alive by the end of tomorrow – he had been through a lot, but right now nothing scared him more than talking to Celestia again.
Chapter 37
1-15-14, 1:02 P.M.
It was yet another relaxing, boring day at Jeremy’s house. For the first time in a long time, it had snowed, but not nearly as much as was currently lining the streets of Canterlot. Jeremy spent most of his time huddled in a winter jacket at the computer, playing games with his friends. Chrysalis occasionally joined in on the multiplayer, delighted to find that she was quite good at puzzle-solving with him. Despite the bitter cold, Luna seemed significantly more cheerful, often going out to gaze at the alien stars and moon. Occasionally, Jeremy joined her, even attempting to make sense of star charts to find constellations. Eventually, Luna had taken over the star charts, and was clearly far more skilled at reading them, though Jeremy knew their cultural meanings. After such nights, he was surprised to find he wasn’t as exhausted as he would normally be, despite his staying up late. Right now, Jeremy was working on fixing his telescope, a relic of a time long past when his parents had indulged his interest in space and planets. Unfortunately, he wasn’t having much luck.
Celestia showed up more regularly during the daytime, also commenting on the Earth’s daytime - she was fascinated by the way everything moved on its own, often referring to it as "a perfectly synchronized celestial dance". A much-revisited topic of conversation around the house was the many differences between Earth and Equestria – it had even become a sort of game to find the most obscure or subtle deviations between the two. On one such discussion, Luna had brought up the subject of the most common elements in the Equestrian continental crust, claiming chromium and titanium were most common next to the usual silicon and oxygen while holding a human Periodic Table. Surprised by this, Jeremy had asked what elements were most rare, to which she had replied “Magnesium, and aluminium.”
Grinning, Jeremy had got up and pulled out a roll of aluminum foil, and once she understood what it was, Luna’s eyes went wide. Jeremy laughed. “I had the same reaction when I found that all your coinage was nearly pure gold – don’t go crashing your economy, you hear?” Luna had taken the roll of foil back to her own room for study, leaving Jeremy mildly inconvenienced – he had had to drive all the way out to the store and buy a new one.
After trying fruitlessly for over an hour to fix the telescope, Jeremy went downstairs, to find that Chrysalis was once again the sole other occupant of the house, Lyra having long since reported back to Bon Bon, promising that she would visit again. Celestia was asleep, it being nighttime in Equestria, and Luna was overseeing affairs – she claimed the middle of the week was often the busiest day. Chrysalis, however, had no such duties – in fact, her current ‘duty’ as queen was to research what to do next for her developing semi-nation. This mainly involved researching similar situations in both human and pony history, and working out plans for what to export and import. At the moment, she seemed to be heavily involved in sketching out a plan for one such affair, though in a language Jeremy couldn’t quite read.
As he approached, she looked up at him, smiling slightly. “What do you think?” she asked, gesturing at the topmost paper. Sitting down beside her, Jeremy examined it, once again trying to make sense out of it.
“…Can’t read it, sorry,” he admitted. Chrysalis looked at him for a second before it hit her. “Oh, my mistake. That’s changeling language – it basically says that the main export is going to be the minerals in the caves beneath quite a few of the hives. They’re quite nice, the green glow makes us feel right at home.” Jeremy stared in alarm.
“Green glow?” he asked her. “That’s probably radiation – was I poisoned?!”
Chrysalis shook her head. “Those are below the surface – you’ve never even been close.”
Only slightly more relaxed, Jeremy leaned back against the living room couch. “So, radioactive minerals. I’m assuming those are rare enough to warrant a sustainable trade?” Jeremy asked. Chrysalis looked at him thoughtfully.
“Radioactive, you say? I was wondering what that was – I heard it mentioned somewhere and thought it had to do with sound. At any rate, Equestria only has scant sources of any of these ‘radioactive’ minerals, and even then they’re only used for small research purposes. If we changelings distribute our sources at just the right rate, we can reap in the bits while still being cheaper than Equestria’s current sources.”
Jeremy nodded, impressed. “Sounds like a good plan so far. What about imports?” he asked.
Chrysalis smiled. “Everything we can get, especially books. I read in your histories of the transfer of manuscripts from China to Europe – I imagine this will be quite similar.” Jeremy hummed appreciatively.
“Say, I have a question to ask you, if you feel like answering,” he mentioned, remembering what it was he had come down here to do. Chrysalis looked at him, silent. “You told me in our very first real conversation that you had gotten guns from us, not to mention helicopters. How?” he inquired, trying his best to sound merely curious and not accusing.
Chrysalis looked away for a moment. “You sure you want to know? I’m serious, you might hate me after this,” she began.
Jeremy laughed. “I’m not that fickle. Go on, try me – I’m genuinely curious.” Chrysalis shifted nervously, finally setting her pencil down.
“Alright, well… You weren’t the first human I ever met,” she admitted. Jeremy simply looked at her, listening attentively. “There was one other. A male, adult by the looks of things. He showed up one day at our hive, lost and seeking shelter. Thinking to extract his love, I happily obliged, as we were still starving. To my surprise, he proved to be a font of information regarding weapons that he claimed could ‘easily defeat magic’ – as indeed they did. I followed him back to the portal that had taken him here – he claimed it had closed, but I used my magic to re-open it. After that, he spent a few days gathering blueprints under my watch, and showed us some of his own weapons – apparently he was a former member of your American military, and had served in ‘Afghanistan’.”
Jeremy slapped a hand to his forehead. “Doesn’t that just figure,” he groaned.
Chrysalis looked at him askance before continuing. “To my surprise, I found that his reason for doing all of this was to make Princess Celestia his sex slave – and when I pointed out that she would die rather than submit in such a manner, he demanded that I transform into Celestia and pleasure him instead, as compensation for his services.” Jeremy shuddered, and Chrysalis grimly stared down at her paper, making a careful effort to avoid looking at his face.
“What did you… do next?” he cautiously asked.
Chrysalis looked at him. “I refused. To use a few of your phrases, I ‘dumped his ass, stone cold’.”
Jeremy laughed. “Serves him right. Where is he now?” Chrysalis shrugged.
“I forcibly ejected him through the portal, claiming that if he ever dared to appear again I would kill him. So… I suppose he’s somewhere on Earth.”
Jeremy frowned. “Well… you’re right, that wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for. But… no, I don’t hate you. You were starving, probably desperate – a chance to retake Equestria like that was probably too good to pass up, right?” Chrysalis stared at him for a moment, then nodded.
“So… that’s how I got machine guns, helicopters, sniper rifles and such,” she finished. “But what about you?” Chrysalis asked, and Jeremy stared at her in confusion. “Where did you get your arsenal? It couldn’t have been from Luna – she didn’t know anything about gun blueprints the last time I asked, certainly not enough to create that assault rifle you enjoyed so thoroughly.”
Jeremy gave an embarrassed grin. “Well, to give the short version, some military or terrorist dicks attacked my school and tried to murder the students, so I started killing them and stealing their weapons. Over time, I got quite the collection going – as a matter of fact, I still have all of them in the suit,” he mentioned as an afterthought.
Chrysalis shook her head in mock disgust. “Doesn’t that just figure – you say you killed a bunch of people, and then it turns out you were being a hero.”
Jeremy glared at her. “Murder is not heroic,” he stated flatly. “Those idiots might’ve been evil enough to kill children – but I’m willing to bet that they had homes, and families, and probably even children. Children who’ll never quite understand why I had to ruthlessly kill their fathers, and mothers who’ll never quite accept that their lover isn’t coming home again. If I could do it over again, I would have pretty much done the same things, but… that doesn’t make it right,” he quietly finished.
Chrysalis dropped her head. “Sorry, I forgot what that meant to you,” she replied.
Jeremy sighed. “I don’t like to talk about it – you’re not the only one who worries about what you look like to others,” he admitted nervously.
“I know. What a couple we make,” Chrysalis joked, and Jeremy laughed as the tension was broken.
Some hours later, Luna walked in, looking exhausted. “What a night – we might just go to bed early after all,” she tiredly exclaimed, flopping onto the couch in a most unprincessly manner. Jeremy, who was preparing dinner, chuckled.
“What happened?” he asked, and Luna launched into an explanation – her usual mix of calming dreams and attending to royal bureaucracy had been particularly hectic, it seemed. Jeremy listened, half of the stuff going over his head as he frowned and nodded in what he felt were the appropriate moments. Chrysalis also listened, amused. When Luna was done, she sighed deeply before laying back on the couch, seemingly asleep. Jeremy looked at Chrysalis, grinning. “I hope you’re looking forward to days like that,” he remarked. Chrysalis frowned as the implications hit her, and Jeremy laughed as he set out plates.
Luna woke up just a few minutes later, and took a plate of her own – Jeremy didn’t have many vegetarian recipes, but this was easily one of his favorites. Eating quickly, she put her plate away before heading up, claiming she still wanted to sleep. Jeremy watched her go, frowning – he had hoped to talk to her a bit before she rested. Oh well – he wasn’t about to interrupt her sleep. Chrysalis finished her plate, uncertainly attempting to copy Luna’s actions. Jeremy watched her, and nodded approvingly when she had finished. Chrysalis promptly went back to her papers, and Jeremy decided to head to bed as well – no sense staying up late on a school night.
Making his way upstairs, he noticed the still-on computer in the upstairs living room, and after a moment of hesitation sat down to check for updates. Finding nothing, he headed to his bedroom to find Luna situated in his bed, still awake and the lights on.
“Something wrong?” he asked. Luna shook her head.
“We were just thinking… what were the odds of us teleporting here? Both thy universe and our own are primarily composed of empty space, and landing on your planet specifically would have a statistical probability of zero. But it happened…” she went back to being lost in thought.
Jeremy thought about this for a moment. “I bet your parents had something to do with it,” he mentioned. Luna looked up at him.
“We had forgotten thou had met our parents. But how are they involved?” Jeremy pulled on his pajamas as he explained.
“They told me they were ‘Guardians of Fate’ now, whatever that means – I bet it has something to do with destiny and predetermination and stuff. Seems likely to me that they might have adjusted your spell to end up in just the right place to keep destiny on the right track, or something like that.”
Luna pondered this for a moment, then gave a sigh of disgust. “We will probably never fully understand – such is the nature of problems like this.” Jeremy gave a short chuckle.
“I gave up trying to understand a long while ago – now I just roll with things as they happen.” He flipped the light switch and got into bed with her, carefully avoiding her wings so as not to crush them.
Chrysalis trotted in a half hour later, horn lighting up the dark room in green shadows as she levitated some papers onto a nearby cabinet. Jeremy groaned as he turned over, trying to ignore the new and painful source of light. Thankfully, Chrysalis finished quickly, crawling into her cocoon and emitting a gentle, relaxed hiss.
1-16-14, 6:05 A.M.
Jeremy was surprised to find that both Luna and Chrysalis were already up by the time he had gotten dressed. Luna was making breakfast in the kitchen, and Jeremy gladly accepted a pancake as he blearily tried to shake himself from the stubborn throes of sleep. Chrysalis was watching TV, barely acknowledging his presence as he headed out the door.
School was still as boring as ever – though his grades had begun to improve due to Luna’s tutoring. His friends were much more carefree around him now that his mood had improved as well, and he actually joked along with them for once. For once, his life was relatively uncomplicated, and he quickly settled back into the school routine now that break was over. Now that it was a Thursday, he stayed after school for Science Club, pulling a few flasks and reagents out of his backpack for the day’s demonstration. To his delight, the experiment worked perfectly, and he spent the rest of the club session explaining how it worked.
When he drove home, Chrysalis was unconcerned as to his lateness – apparently she had been tipped off by Luna as to his whereabouts and emotions before she had ventured back to Equestria to oversee their night. To his surprise, a few changelings were there as well, squeaking and hissing in surprise when he entered his room. “Oh, hello,” he greeted them with a short wave.
“Greetings,” one hissed back, voice surprisingly deep for its stature as it resumed what it had been doing – examining a printout. Peering over its shoulder, Jeremy read the title – something about developing nations? Going over to the computer, he pulled up a chair and began his homework.
He was quickly interrupted by Chrysalis, who had snuck up on him and was now gently biting his shoulder. “Hey, remember what happened last time?” Jeremy reminded her.
“I fed a short while ago – this is just force of habit,” Chrysalis explained. She let go, and Jeremy cautiously felt his shoulder for puncture marks – he never could be too careful.
“Say, how’d your drones get in here?” he asked.
Chrysalis pursed her lips. “Celestia allowed me to bring guests once she understood what I intended.”
Jeremy nodded, satisfied with this response, and Chrysalis trotted off to continue her work.
Going back to his homework, Jeremy struggled his way through yet another physics problem, finally giving up and circling it in frustration. Maybe Luna would have some advice for this.
Chapter 64
2-13-15, 3:10 P.M.
Jeremy shivered as he walked back to his dorm room, partially from the frigid weather and partially from anticipation. His wives had told him to report back to them as soon as classes ended today, presumably so he could be transformed into a pony. He was nervous, yeah, but also excited – he vaguely wondered which type of pony he would choose. His first impression was ‘unicorn’, as he’d always wanted to try magic, but maybe a pegasus would be cool too – then he could fly! But if he were an earth pony, he’d have super-strength, apparently… Argh, it was so hard to choose! Part of the problem is that each of the three races were so balanced against each other – with equal advantages and disadvantages.
As Jeremy made his way through the frozen tundra that had once been his college campus and opened the door to his dorm house, he continued to ruminate on which pony he wanted to be. His train of thought was only interrupted when he entered his room and opened the closet, intending to access the portal to Equestria.
To his surprise, Celestia and Chrysalis were waiting for him just beyond the portal, and they instantly perked up upon seeing him.
“About time!” Chrysalis exclaimed, and Jeremy laughed.
“Got slowed down by the weather. So, how are we gonna do this?”
Celestia motioned for him to follow her, and he did so with a sense of increasing excitement and trepidation. As they passed by Luna’s bedroom, Jeremy heard soft breathing from within – clearly Luna was not up yet.
They entered her bedroom, and Celestia turned to face him.
“So, what’ll it be?” she asked, and Jeremy was caught off guard by the question.
“What do you mean?” he responded curiously.
“What race would you like to be?” Celestia clarified, and Jeremy nodded in understanding.
“Hmm. How ‘bout… how about a pegasus?” he asked, and Celestia shared a single, secretive smile with the others before lighting up her horn and stepping forward.
For a moment, everything went white, and Jeremy felt as though he was being ripped apart atom by atom. He was vaguely aware of screaming once before everything went black, and the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was the concerned voices of his three wives.
2-13-15, 5:20 P.M.
Jeremy woke up to find himself wrapped in the sheets of a hospital bed. He felt… different. It wasn’t a feeling he could quite place, but he decided to take in the facts before he made any conclusions.
“First things first,” he muttered, looking down at himself. He promptly stared, before awkwardly raising the bedsheet up.
He was now a dark orange-brown pegasus, with a Cutie Mark of what appeared to be a mass of bubbles spreading outward, each linked to the next. As Jeremy got a closer look, it was revealed that the bubbles were simply spheres. What could it mean? he wondered. It maybe looked like a polymer of some sort… was that a reference to his interest in materials science? Hmm. He reached up a coppery hoof, and attempted to pull his hair down to examine that color as well – finding it to be the same orange as usual, he shrugged and examined his hoof. It had a very fine coat of hair, almost too fine to be visible – same as everypony else. The center was somewhat pliable compared to the outer rim, which was hard and bony – again, no different than what he’d seen before. His wings were also normal, at least from his standpoint – they were like Celestia’s, only smaller. Unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to move them – he couldn’t find the muscles to do so.
A nurse trotted in, clipboard in mouth, and smiled down at him.
“Glad to see you’re awake! The Princesses were quite worried about you when they rushed you in here – what in Equestria happened?”
Jeremy gave a small grin. “No idea… can’t remember,” he lied.
The nurse pursed her lip, but said nothing more, and went about checking his physical condition. "What's your name?" she asked, and Jeremy frantically thought of something.
"Uh... Plastic Wings," he finally stammered out, mentally smacking himself. Plastic Wings? What the hell kind of name was that? Strangely, the mare seemed to accept this - maybe he'd stumbled upon a workable Equestrian name?
Finally, she turned to him with a smile back upon her face. “Almost done, dear. Last thing – could you extend your wings for me?”
Jeremy frowned as he remembered that, oh yeah, he was a pegasus now. And had no idea how to use his wings. Oh, joy . He tried to feel around his new body, searching for whatever stimulus would get his wings to actually move. Finally, after a few minutes of the nurse staring at him in anticipation, he gave up, sighing. “I can’t – they won’t move,” he admitted. Then, an idea struck him – he hadn’t been looking forward to using his hooves to walk, but maybe he didn’t have to. “In fact, I, er… can’t really seem to move my body whatsoever, nothing works right,” he mumbled as though confessing to a dirty secret.
The nurse’s eyes widened in surprise. “My goodness, why didn’t you say so? I’ll have a doctor bring up a wheelchair at once,” she decided, and left the room.
A few minutes later, Jeremy had been helped into his wheelchair. The nurse told him to stay put, as she'd received some royal orders regarding his condition and needed to look over them to make sure she got it right. Jeremy amicably waited as she undid the royal seal, and read through the sheaf of papers - judging from the glimpses he got of their contents, it was all very official medical paperwork.
"Teleportation accident, hm?" the mare tsked as she read through the papers. "Lost short-term memory, no muscle memory whatsoever... yes, that all certainly sounds possible. Well, royal orders are to let you go so long as you can move, which you seem to be able to do. Just holler if you need any help!" she cheerfully concluded, wheeling him out the door and waiting for him to begin wheeling himself. Jeremy thanked the mare, and began pushing the wheels with his hooves, inwardly promising to thank Celestia and Luna for bailing him out of the hospital so easily.
A few minutes later, he was rolling himself around the Canterlot hospital, promising that he’d never make fun of wheelchair owners for being slow – not that he ever had in the first place, but this thing took some effort . On the positive side, he’d figured out how to use his hooves to grasp objects – he just had to think about picking up whatever object as he touched his hoof to it. There did, of course, seem to be a weight limit – though Jeremy could exert force on some heavier objects, picking them up was as impossible as ever.
Finally, he made it to the exit, only to realize that the castle was some distance away. Jeremy sighed, and began to slowly make his way back over.
It was slow going, but he had finally reached the palace entrance when he was reminded rather abruptly of the stairs leading up to the door. “Just… dammit,” Jeremy sighed, panting slightly due to exhaustion. He looked up at the daunting set of steps, and tried to figure out a method of getting up them. Finally, he was assisted by a guard pony, who politely informed him that there was a wheelchair ramp some distance around the back. The guard also offered to wheel him over, but Jeremy politely declined.
It took quite a bit of effort, and by the end Jeremy was wishing he had taken the guard up on their offer, but he was finally in the throne room. As soon as Princess Celestia spotted him, she stepped off her throne and made her way over, right past an annoyed Prince Blueblood.
“How are you, my little pony?” she asked, her motherly smile shifting for a moment to reveal a very worried frown.
“Okay, I guess. Can’t really move much more than this,” Jeremy responded, feeling very awkward – now that Princess Celestia stood at more than twice his height, she was rather intimidating. She had since regained that regal demeanor, though, and her horn lit up as she pushed his wheelchair over to the throne dais.
Think we should tell them it’s me? Jeremy telepathically messaged her.
No , Celestia responded. I think they haven’t quite gotten over you yet, and telling them which pony you were would be an open invitation to potentially disastrous consequences.
Jeremy nodded, seeing the logic in this, and Celestia retook the seat of her throne, still using her magic to push his wheelchair towards her and Luna’s bedroom chambers. “My sister will know what to do about your condition,” she called out before the door closed, and Jeremy smiled at the public excuse for his rather sudden appearance.
He quickly arrived at Luna’s room, and tapped on the door, feeling nervous for the first time due to the guards who were posted out front.
“Speak, and enter,” Luna called out, and Jeremy detected the barest hint of irritation beneath her voice – nothing but over a year of knowing her could have possibly picked up on it.
“Hello, Princess Luna, it’s me-“ Jeremy began, trying to think of a name to give himself, but was interrupted as Luna quickly opened the door and pulled him inside with her magic, wheelchair and all.
Princess Luna looked quite disheveled – strands were sticking out of her starry mane, and her eyes looked as tired as Jeremy had ever seen them. Before saying anything, Luna cast a spell, though Jeremy could not determine what it did. His question was answered a moment later as Luna spoke. “There, nopony can hear us. Oh, Jeremy, we were so worried!” she exclaimed.
Jeremy smiled. “I’m fine, really.” Luna looked at him as though he had just swallowed the sun.
“Fine?! Thou art in a wheelchair , how in Tartarus art thou fine ?” she asked disbelievingly.
Jeremy rubbed a hoof on his neck nervously, feeling a bit of phantom limb syndrome as he imagined his missing fingers doing the same. “Well, technically, the wheelchair is a coverup – I haven’t yet figured out how to walk or fly, and I didn’t feel like telling the doctors that I only became a pegasus yesterday was a good idea.”
Luna looked at him for a moment, then smiled. “Very well, we suppose that does qualify as ‘fine’,” she responded, sounding as though she disliked the term.
From there, they moved on to teaching him how to move. “Now, dost thou remember how to walk?” Luna asked, an indulgent smile on her face.
Jeremy felt as though he were being set up for some trolling, but decided to play along. “No…” he answered, repressing a chuckle.
“Press the ‘W’ key to go forward, ‘S’ for backwards, and ‘A’ and ‘D’ to move to either side. Oh, and do not forget that thou canst sprint via the Shift key,” she informed him, before bursting into giggles. Jeremy immediately joined in, glad that they were having fun over something this silly. “But seriously, we are not sure how to explain how to walk,” Luna mused, her smile giving way to a concerned frown.
“Perhaps you could demonstrate? I remember teaching Celestia how to walk on two legs,” Jeremy responded curiously.
Luna obliged, walking around her room. “We feel like a dress model,” she complained as she did so, and Jeremy chuckled once more.
“Well, you are beautiful enough to be one,” he responded, giving an indulgent smile to Luna’s seemingly unamused glare of a response.
Finally, after half an hour of instruction, Jeremy could walk normally. “Huh, I’m amazed these are so… synchronized,” he commented.
“Now, about thy wings…” Luna muttered, curiously studying them.
“Yeah, I don’t even know how to get those to move, so…” Jeremy trailed off.
Luna looked him over a moment more, before a devilish grin came to her face. “Well, perhaps the way to find those muscles is through external stimulation,” she decided, circling around him with a somewhat predatory grin on her face.
“What, are you going to electrocute them?” Jeremy asked, somewhat nervous.
“Nay, not… literally …” Luna responded, before gently biting down on the space connecting Jeremy’s wing to his body. Jeremy’s brain practically exploded in a haze of pleasure, and he was aware of emitting a startled but delighted cry as Luna nibbled along the wing length. Finally, she stopped, and Jeremy looked at her, panting slightly due to sheer arousal.
“Why’d… you stop?” he got out.
Luna gestured a hoof. “Look,” she simply replied. Jeremy looked over his shoulder at his wings, which were extending and retracting wildly as the waves of pleasure made their way through his new body. Better yet, he could feel them doing so – the muscles that moved them tensing and loosening somewhere along his sides. Hesitantly, he flexed one of these muscles, and a wing snapped out and smacked Luna across the face.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” Jeremy hurriedly apologized.
Luna laughed it off. “Tis’ okay, we expected that quite some time ago,” Luna chuckled.
He got control over his wings after just a few minutes more of experimenting – while he certainly couldn’t fly with them just yet, Jeremy felt sure he could reasonably pass for a fully functioning pony now if he needed to.
“So, now what?” he asked. Luna had raised the moon midway through his “training”, and claimed that the court now opened later on weekends, so she had some time.
“Well… we do have one idea,” Luna trailed off, using her magic to pick him up and deposit him on her bed.
Jeremy gave her a surprised look, and she smirked at him. “Nay, not that . We art waiting for Celestia, after all…”
With that, she snuggled up onto the bed with him, and to Jeremy’s surprise, curled around him instead of the other way around. “We have always wanted to know how this feels,” she sighed contentedly.
“What, being ‘big spoon’?” Jeremy asked.
Luna ran a hoof through his hair, and nodded. “Thou make it seem so… comfortable…” she mumbled, wrapping a wing around him to complete the picture. Once again, Jeremy was reminded of the size difference between the average pony and the Princesses: Her wings covered nearly his entire body.
Some time later, Luna idly trailed a hoof along his belly, and Jeremy hummed contentedly. He could see why this was so enjoyable on his wives’ end: Having someone snuggle around him, hold him as tightly and safely as though he were in his own little bubble of soft, quiet joy… he could get used to this.
“So, how is thy new body so far?” Luna asked, interrupting his train of thought.
“It’s… wonderful,” Jeremy admitted, blushing a little as he wriggled more securely into Luna’s embrace.
Luna nuzzled him on the forehead, and Jeremy returned the gesture clumsily. For a moment, their eyes locked on each other, and the strength of the compassion between them made Jeremy feel as though all the negative events in his life had never even happened.
“We will miss those hands of thine,” Luna whispered into his ear, giving it a gentle nip.
Jeremy shivered, and chuckled. “This just gives me an excuse to be more creative,” he replied, causing Luna to blush.
“My, my – save it for later, won’t thou?” Luna gently chided, giggling slightly.
They settled back into their comfortable positions, neither willing to move and disturb the other. And for a moment, just a single moment in Jeremy’s life, all was completely quiet and still.
He rather liked that.
