Entry 5
Date: 23rd April, year 2 ALR

Last night was fun, but I’m not really much of a party person. Whereas my old friends would constantly drink and smoke, though mostly not tobacco (although I would sometimes join those occasions), I would shy away from drinking. I hated the feeling of being drunk, and the taste of alcohol is terrible. They say that it grows on you, but I’m not going to drink as much so that it does.

Regardless, yesterday’s party was a good change of pace. It showed me that not all ponies are complete racist shitheads, just the apparent majority. I say 'apparent' because so far, the only ones who’ve had interactions with me are the ponies of this town, and those from a millennium ago. So who knows how I'd be treated across the country if I ever left. Maybe things have changed, but then again, maybe they haven’t. Only time will tell.

Due to an extreme lack of things to do I’ve been going to bed and getting up relatively early. So I’ve resorted to just talking long walks. Very long walks. It’s Friday so everyone is out and about on their last day of work, keen for the weekend. I’m indifferent, because I don’t have any fucking work, so the weekend is just another day. However, that did mean that per a previous arrangement, I was to go back and work on Applejacks’ farm in two days, fixing shit for her. How fun. Well, I can't complain too much, a hard day behind the forge is better than a hard day behind a desk.

Anyway, back to the talks. Today I decided to go a bit further outside of Ponyville, instead of just circling around town centre where all I'd get would be scorn. So, I walked towards the borders of the Everfree forest, the place I spent five years surviving in one millennium ago. It was hell trying to survive there, but that, that’s a different story for another time. At the border of the forest I found a small cottage, completely filled with all kinds of animals, ranging from birds to.... Is that a bear I see? Aaaaanyway, this place was chockablock with animals that I used to hunt for all those years ago.

If I’m not mistaken, this is the place that Twilight said her friend Fluttershy lives. I wonder how this will turn out. I thought almost sarcastically to myself, though I was genuinely curious as to how this would turn out. I remembered her from the party last night, the yellow mare with a pink mane who shied away from me, while conversing with the blue and rainbow one. Rainbow Dash, the one who distrusts me the most of the six. I hope that she isn't here, I'm in no mood for her shit.

I approached the small bridge that went over a small stream, and almost immediately as I did, all the birds and small rodents dispersed, as if they were being hunted. I continued on towards the house, walking slowly at a brisk pace. I hate walking slow but if I made too much of a commotion I’d probably scare her off. I need her to trust me not fear me.

I knocked on the door with three solid knocks. A moment later, a small white rabbit opened the door with a carrot in his hand. It looked at me with a fierce glare while munching on its food. I raised an eyebrow before looking it straight in the eyes and asked, “Is Fluttershy available?” The rabbit shook its head before making to slam the door. I stopped it in time and glared at the rabbit. I’m glaring at a rabbit. What the fuck is my life right now? “You better not be lying to me. I haven’t eaten rabbit in a damn long time, so don’t tempt me you little fuck.”

The little rabbit shook with fear before running inside, leaving the door open. Moments later it came back, but instead of coming alone, it was pushing Fluttershy towards the door. “Angel, what’s the matter? Did that carrot give you a tummy ache?” She asked with a soft, almost angelic voice. Possible angel in disguise. If angels even exist in this plane of existence. Don’t see why not. I made a mental note to observe this one in the future.

The moment she turned to look at me, she froze up just like her rabbit. The rabbit named Angel stopped pushing its owner, and simply hid behind her leg. Fluttershy cowered before me as I stood confused in the doorway. She hid behind her mane before meekly saying, “Um… h-hello.”

I gave a single wave of my right hand, “G'day.” I said simply.

She shuffled nervously during the silence that followed. “Um. W-what are you doing here? I-If you don’t mind me asking.”

She really stays true to her name. I thought to myself as she continued to be dead scared of me. “I came to hang out. Is that a problem?” I asked her.

“Oh! N-no not at all.” She replied nervously as she stuttered her words slightly.

“Cool.” I stood there waiting for a bit while Fluttershy hid behind her mane, trying to avoid eye contact with me. “Sooo....am I unwelcome? Or can I come in?” I asked her after the second minute of silence passed us.

Fluttershy seemed to grow even more embarrassed and shy from my question. “S-sorry, please c-come in.” She moved to the side to allow my entrance.

Only after I entered her house did I realise how many animals lived there. I could see multiple birds of different species, some rabbits, a racoon, a squirrel and a bunch of other creatures. I can’t remember exactly what they were, either way, it was quite like walking into a zoo. “You certainly have a lot of animals here.” I said, almost in wonder of how she managed to fit this many animals in her small house. I guess it's lucky for her that it's bigger on the inside.

She seemed to brighten up a bit, and actually looked at me from outside her mane. “Oh yes! I just love animals.”

I smiled slightly, “What a coincidence, so do I.” Above most other things, their taste is what I love most. “So these are all your pets?” I asked the shy pony.

“Oh no, these are all my animal friends. They live here and I take care of them, feed them and help them get better when they’re sick.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“So, like I said, these are all your pets.” I reiterated.

“Yes I guess you could put it that way.” She responded, once again moving behind her mane, probably out of embarrassment.

“You really are shy aren’t you? I suppose it fits with your name.” I chuckled lightly.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before I noticed that it was completely quiet, no a sound was uttered. It was then I found out all of her animals had disappeared somewhere. “Oh, they’re all gone.” I said, almost a little disappointed that they just decided to rack off.

Fluttershy looked behind her leg at Angel, “They’re afraid of you.” She said with a bit of hesitation, almost as if she feared what kind of response I would give.

“Understandable, I am an omnivore.” I opened my mouth and pointed to my canines. “I’m a predator, it's only natural for prey to be afraid of that which preys on them.”

“Do you think that’s why the ponies in town are so afraid of you?” She asked softly.

“Maybe, that or just spite out of me not being normal in this world. Wait, you’re not scared of me?” I asked a bit surprised, noticing how calm she was around me. Whenever I said I ate meat in the past, ponies would either immediately avoid me, or attack me in hopes that I wouldn't try and eat them.

“Oh, well it did come as a shock at first, but I have a bear friend who lives here, so I’m used to meat-eating creatures.” She said with a bit less hesitation.

“But you hate me for it right? The fact that I eat, and have eaten, creatures like your little rabbit friend there.” I pointed to her little friend behind her, which only served to frighten it to the point of fainting. I hope the little shit had a heart attack, rabbit is actually pretty good.

“No I couldn’t hate you for what’s only natural. You eat meat to survive, but just know if you eat any of my animal friends, I will never forgive you.” The previously reserved, hesitant, shy and embarrassed Fluttershy was gone. Now stood a pony full of resolve and courage. She had a stare on her that was most peculiar. When I looked into her eyes I had the sneaking suspicion that there was more to this pony than meets the eye. I’ll definitely need to watch this one in the future. Something tells me she's more dangerous than any of the others...

“Don’t worry, I won’t be eating any of your animal friends.” Unless they ‘accidently’ wonder into the Everfree.

“That’s good.” She goes quiet after that.

“How about you give me a tour of the place? I’d love to meet any animals that don’t run away.” I asked, trying to make something out of this situation.

“Oh! What an excellent idea.” She smiled brightly before motioning me to follow. So to get on her good side, talk about animals. Simple.

Fluttershy showed me around her small cottage home, which is quite cosy if I say so myself. After she finished showing me her house, we explored her backyard. Out the back, I could see some free range chicken in a pen, and a small fence that bordered her home. Above were multiple birds flying, along with bat for some unknown reason.

“Quite the place you’ve – shit! – got here.” Midsentence, a wasp flew past me and up to Fluttershy, who seemed to be talking with it. “Uh, what are you doing?”

Fluttershy and the wasp LOOKED AT ME. It straight up turned its attention to me after I spoke, that’s creepy as fuck.

“Oh just talking with Mr Wasp.” Fluttershy responded casually.

“‘Mr Wasp?’ Wait, you're talking to that thing?!” I shouted, completely dumbfounded at what she had said to me.

“Yes, my special talent allows me to communicate with animals in a way nopony else can. Even professional veterinarians have consulted me on diagnoses they cannot discern in animals.” She responded gleefully, almost proud of that last fact.

“Right, well, I’m absolutely terrified of bees and wasps. So please tell him/she/it to stay away from me please.” I had hoped she’d listen to me but it seems the wasp had no intention to as it looked at me, and that wasn't the scary part. The scary part was that it was smiling at me. “Oh god no, stay away!” I was backing up at this point, freaking out, while the wasp just kept creeping forward before breaking out into a bee line right for me.

Needless to say, it practically chased me around the backyard. No I was not screaming my head off to be saved. All the while Fluttershy was giggling lightly at the antics.

“Seriously, help me out! I’m allergic to their stings!” I shouted.

“Don’t worry, he won’t hurt you.” Fluttershy tried to comfort me but that fucking wasp was still behind me. I swear the little shit was enjoying it.

“That doesn’t fucking make me feel any better! Seriously, just the sound of it flying alone is freaking me out!” I kept trying to plead with the only one who could help me, and thank god it worked. Fluttershy asked the dickhead of a wasp to stop chasing me, after about ten minutes of running that is.

I have to admit though, it was a bit funny when I think back. At the time it fucking wasn’t. Afterwards, Fluttershy asked if I’ve ever had a pet before.

“I did, a long time ago. A blue heeler named Sapphire, we just called her Saphy though. She was a great dog.” I detailed some of the times I shared with her, and we laughed together when I recalled some of her silly antics.

“Would you like a pet? I’m sure one of my animal friends would be glad to go with you, but I don’t have any dogs.” Fluttershy’s question was straight out of left field and caught me off guard.

“As much as I’d love one, I can’t. I don’t have the patience to care for another, as much as it sounds selfish, it’s true. And I don’t like growing attached, it’s just too sad when they die.” I said, making the conversation take an unintentional morbid turn.

“But that’s a part of being a pet owner, caring for another to build strong bonds with them for life. And when they do pass away, while sad, it is simply a part of life. Instead of dwelling on the passing, you should think about all the good times you had together, like we did today.” Fluttershy smiled sadly at me. I could tell that she’s lost many of her friends, but despite that, she always takes on more.

“Your words hold truth Fluttershy, but that’s the problem. I remember the good times, which makes me sad because I remembered them. I remember that she'll never be there again, never to jump excitedly at the gate when I get home, or swim in the pool with me on hot summer days, or even just to play with. It makes me depressed to remember, because I loved my pets as much as I would a friend.”

“But when a friend passes away, you make new ones don’t you?” Fluttershy insisted on getting me a new pet, and she wouldn’t relent.

“Not since then…” I muttered to myself. “Look Fluttershy, I appreciate the kindness, but I don’t think I could take on a pet at this time. Maybe another time, when the ponies here don’t hate me so much. But thank you.” I smiled and bowed my head in thanks.

“Oh! N-no need t-t-to th-thank me.” Fluttershy goes back to her original self and hides behind her mane.

“Listen, I’d love to stay for longer, but I’m starving and it looks like it’s getting late. See ya Fluttershy.” We bid each other goodbye before I made my way back to the castle.

I genuinely enjoyed myself today, aside from that bastard of a wasp. Fluttershy is a great pony who doesn’t deserve any resentment I give to others simply because of what happened in my past. I repeat what I said in my last entry: It seems I’m getting softer, and I’m starting to forgive. But I cannot, I must not. Not after what they did to me. I know these ponies are good, and that they don’t deserve my hate, but maybe what Fluttershy said is true. It may just be an instinct to fear and hate me because I am a predator. But that’s bullshit. A thought for another time.

Julian signing off

Author's Note

I apologise or the delay friends. Been a bit hectic the past few weeks. But here it is! Latest installment of EoR!
Hopefully it doesn't take too long for the next chapter to be released, and I apologise in advance for any delays/set-backs.
My editor took 3 weeks to get back to me on this, so it's not just lazy writing that delayed this chapter. Also don't blame him, he's had shit to do the past few weeks.