Chapters Harm Hide slowly rose from his bed, his head pounding. Each move he made resulted in a squish or a wet plop, and he wiggled and he fought back the urge to vomit. His eyes barely registered light as he lifted a sticky leg from the pit of vomit that was his bed. Suddenly, his movements became frantic and he squired, throwing vomit on his walls and the floor, and he dry-heaved downwards as he looked at the mess he had managed to make in his sleep. He managed to squeak at himself as he rolled out of his hot sewage and onto the cold stone floor. He fell with a yelp this time, lading on his side and bashing his head as he did so.
Struggling, slipping, and only just able to get his bearings, Hide looked around his room to make sure nothing was amiss. Everything was there, his suits of armor, bows and arrows, swords of all kinds, and other metal weapons. Some of them were rusted, some were in pristine condition, and some were caked in blood. His prized possession was the mace of passion, a large spiked club made of gold. It was encrusted with a single red gem. They were, however, all present and accounted for. At least no pony had seen fit to rob him during the night.
He growled deep when his head racked him with pain, and he looked over at the bed in the corner of the stone room. The room was simply a large square with a bed and dresser, and plenty of decorations on the walls. At one end was a door to the laundry area, another end held the door to his kitchen, and the final door led outside. The half of his bed he slept on was covered in vomit and urine. How could so much fluid possibly fit inside him? He decided he didn't care as he showered and drank enough water to replace everything he lost. Hide was a pitch gray earth pony with the usual short gray mane and tail, except for the scars he was covered in. The left half of his face was a collection of mismatched cuts and pretty much disfigured, but the right side was completely clean. The rest of him looked like he had been put through a war machine, long even slashes in sets of three all across his back, his flanks, and his belly. He had just started to gather up his sheets when the yellow and red unicorn with white mane burst though his door and started babbling. Hide's head hurt.
"Passion! I - by the waters of Babylon, whatever happened to your bed?"
"Yea, your way to young to be asking me that, Seclus," grumbled Hide. Seclus recoiled from the implication.
"Hedonist! ...I, uh, have news from Prince Seraphic," Seclus seemed to look around and lowered his voice.
"He says that the time has come."
Hide dropped the sheets and looked at Seclus with a pale expression. "What?"
Seclus smiled. "The stars are in alignment. It's time to be tested, so choke up your element and meet me in the temple."
Seclus dashed out of the room just as quickly as he entered. Hide wasted no time grabbing the golden mace with a single red gem on the head off the wall and strapping it to his back. He hustled out of the room, only once glancing back in bewilderment at his bed. Once out of his door, and emerged at the bottom of a dirt hole in the ground. He climbed out of the steep pit and into Ponyville. It was bright and sunny, as he expected, and his head screamed it's resilience at him. Somehow, he made it through town and into the Temple of Piety. It was a large stone tower with only a window at the very top, though once Hide entered it looked more like some kind of catacomb. A spiral case build into the wall led up to the floors above, each chamber built right on top of another. The first chamber that he entered into was a meeting hall of sorts, with chairs crudely set up in a circle around the center of the room. He was greeted by a pink, bored looking mare with blue mane, and her nose in a newspaper.
"Yes my little pony, how can I help you?"
Hide cleared his throat.
She bounced up staight, her newspaper falling in papers around her, she stood up straight and looked down at the ground.
"Passion, sir! I wasn't expecting -"
"I am quite aware of what you were expecting."
"What, uh, what can I do for..."
He smiled at her. She looked up at him.
"What do you want?" She asked carefully.
"You haven't heard? Clear the enchanting chamber, for what I've come to attend to, this time anyway, is business."
...
Six stallions gathered around a large macabre table at the top of the Temple of Piety. It was a circular room filled with strange objects and weapons, tapestries on the walls, and candles all around. Each stallion had a glowing, golden weapon their back with a different colored gem attached to it. Harm Hide twitched as his head pounded again.
"My fellow elements! ...Thank you for coming," Said Seclus. He stood apart from the others, in the opposite side of the table from the other five.
Hide looked at a strange blue orb on the enchanting table. He wanted to eat it.
"Today is our biggest mission yet. We have to touch this here orb," Seclus pointed his nose at a large blue object that looked like an ordinary marble, "And figure out what it did. Um...if you have questions, well, so do I. All the Prince said was-"
"See you on the other side!" Said Harm Hide as he dashed forward, seized the orb in his hooves, and vanished in a flash of blue light.
...
There was the sensation like he was rolling down a hill. Colors and shapes formed and exploded before his eyes that he couldn't move. His legs struggled, and for their effort were rewarded with stinging pain. He heard roaring and metal clashing, stomping and thunder. He did notice, however, that his head didn't hurt anymore.
Then it was over. He opened his eyes to see he was standing in Ponyville's park, just beyond a small hill. He looked around, confused. He didn't see anypony anywhere, but there were some differences. The whole place smelled like perfume and flowers. Some of the stone buildings had been replaced like hay shacks, but by and large the place was the same. He took a step towards where the temple should be, and was immediately accosted by something blurry and pink.
"Oh my gosh that was amazing how did you do that can you teach me to do that are you new here im Pinkie..."
Hide turned away and marched in the direction of his own home. The temple was not gonna happen.
The pink mare with crazy, fluffy mane had finally stopped talking and was looking at him with adoration in her eyes.
Slowly, he turned to face her. "Are you talking to me?" He asked, his eyes darting left and right.
"Yup!"
He stared at her. "Well, don't." He continued his walk. The pink mare bounced alongside him. He bit his lip. Turning away a mare was not exactly his elemental strength.
"Whats wrong? Are you grumpy? Do you need a party!?" She gasped. "Your new so you get a party! How about-"
He turned on her and said "Silence."
She closed her mouth with an audible "plop!" When he remembered the state he had left his house in, he realized that he may have need of a mares's help after all. "Come with me." He said without explanation. When she opened her mouth, he barked after her "Silently!"
He walked towards his house with a bouncing pink mare in tow, neither of them saying anything. They passed a few onlookers, whose mouths all fell open at the sight of him and, more likely, the mace of passion. He ignored them.
They rounded a corner on those weak looking houses of hay, and instead of muddy pit, he saw a large pink wooden building with a sign that read "Sugercube Corner." Hide came to a stop as his jaw hit the floor, and he felt the pink mare crash into his rump.
"Wha - where - what happened to my house?!"
The pink mare gasped again. "You live at Sugarcube Corner too?!"
"Well, I solved the test. The blue orb did this... but well, that doesn't everything else that's different around here."
"Oh, a guessing game! I love guessing games! It is a..."
Hide ignored the babbling mare as he tried to figure out his next move. He realized that this also relives him of cleaning up his own mess, which he was vastly grateful.
"Who is in charge around here?" He asked with calm he didn't feel.
"Mayor Mare! and uh, Princess Twilight too I guess."
Hide's eyes went wide. Mares could now hold office? When had this happened? How had he not heard about it? And certainly, if there was a mare granted Princess-hood, he would know. What was going on?
"Princess? There's a mare alicorn running around"
"Four! Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and Princess Twilight!"
Hide burst out laughing.
"I know, I love to laugh too!"
Hide placed a hoof across her shoulder, and snickered once more. "Okay, I see whats going on here. I owe you a drink for that one!"
"Okie Dokie Lokie! You can call me Pinkie Pie!"
Falsity bucked hard against his opponent's gut, sending him careening against a wall of drunken stallions that pushed the visibly beaten and bleeding stallion back into the fray. Falsity wasted no time holding his hoof out straight to his left, catching his opponent's throat in Falsity's joint and slamming him into the ground, where the foe wiggled a little but stayed down. Falsity climbed a top the provided chair and screamed like a griffon, pounding his chest.
Somepony removed the limp stallion and deposited a sum of bits into Falsity's waiting hoof, stuffing them in a provided bag. Falsity stumbled over to his table and took a long drink from what looked like oil. A few other stallions came by patted him on the back, and shared a laugh with him before they moved on, leaving him alone at the table. This was Sweet Blood's Acre, a large barn with a few floors, a few rooms, a little food, more than a few mares, plenty of drink, and all the illegal stallion fights Ponyville could ask for. Falsity was a dark purple earth pony, as they were the only ones who stood a chance in hoof-to-hoof, with short black mane and a tail. It all had to be basically short as possible, because hair was a grip point. If you found yourself in a grapple in Sweet Blood's Acre, you probably just lost your tax bits for the year. Honestly, it wasn't much better for the winners.
"Falsity, you gotta go easier on the poor colts."
Falsity looked up towards the wall of the barn to behold Seclus, the tri-colored pony. He was smirking at Falsity.
"He probably just lost his life savings." Seclus finished.
Falsity shook his head at him. "He knew what he was asking for. Have a seat."
Seclus sat his rump in a chair opposite the table from Falsity. That stallion made Seclus feel uncomfortable. Was it a good idea to ever be comfortable around the element of deception?
"There has been a development.." Started Seclus.
"Oh, spare me your riddles, Seclus. You know I don't care about sorcery and crap."
Seclus lifted his nose a little. "The prince himself wants your participation."
Falsity gave Seclus a crooked look. "Which one?"
"Both."
"Look, I just want to talk. Meet me at the temple."
"Why's it always the temple?"
"Piety."
"Dunno what that is."
"Ill see you there, deception. Bring your element." Seclus got up to leave, and heard Falsity whisper.
"No."
Seclus left the barn, pushing his way past a pink and yellow mare who tried to rub flanks with him. Falsity would show. He always knew when the working class was lying to him. Of course, so thought everypony else.
...
After tying up a few drinkers and putting his little sister, Applebloom, in charge of the place, Falsity left for the long walk to Ponyville after collecting the pitch black obsidian lance of deception, from its place in the basement. He strapped it to his back. Seclus had probably used profane sorcery as a mere means of transportation, but the grounded Falsity had no such luxury. So he walked. His head hurt from blows he had taken in the ring this morning, his hooves hurt from dishing out blows in the ring this morning, and he tasted blood, most likely collected during his bouts in the ring this morning. He didn't know whose it was. He looked around at the savannah that he had allowed the once green and lush valley of his family to become. He told himself it was for the best.
Finally, he saw Ponyville on the distance, just as the afternoon sun reached it's peak. He hurried into town, feeling much better all of a sudden. As he passed through the center, on his way to the temple, he chanced a look down at the pit where everypony with a brain knew that Passion dealt illegal arms and armor. He never knew how he got it, though. Passion certainly couldn't work a forge, and he had few-
The thought stopped dead in it's tracks when Falsity got a whiff of the stench rising from Passion's den like a zombie. He almost vomited then and there, if not for a sudden burst of speed and rush of fresh air. He turned to face the monstrous pit, his skin crawling. What in Equestria had happened down there? Did passion finally...
With that, Falsity hurried into the tower temple.
...
Falisty entered the tower and first noticed the visibly shaken priestess. He approached her slowly, and asked her "are you okay?"
She instantly relaxed when she saw him. Deception had something of a reputation in Ponyville. In fact, Mayor Gainer had even given him an award when he had diverted berserk bulls from leveling the town, despite the well-known fact that he had caused the stampede by gathering the bulls together for a tournament that the aforementioned bulls frowned upon. He bore his element well, it seemed.
"Oh, nothing. Just the good Lord Passion being himself. Or more specifically, smelling like himself." She wrinkled her nose.
"Mm. I noticed on the way here. Something must be done, soon, by somepony..."
She looked at him. "Well, something subtle and peaceful..."
He nodded, then started for the stairs. He didn't even need to ask her where Seclus had planned for the elements to meet.
As soon as he got there, he saw that only one other pony was there, and he smelled like death. Harm Hide gave Falsity his best smile as the earth ponies took stances opposite the other around the empty table. Harm Hide was impossibly relaxed and intent. This could only go down one way.
"Greetings, Passion," Falsity broke the silence at last. "You left quite the impression on the mare of piety below us."
"Ya know, its funny how often I hear that." Hide snickered.
Falsity recoiled a little. "Gross," he said.
"Gross is what you do to those foals," challenged Hide.
"Hide, we've been over this. Its just a little hard work and carefully betting. Teaches those foals a little character, cunning, and builds a little muscle. Three things severely lacking in Ponyville, found in abundance around Blood's Acre. Gross is what you try and teach the foals!"
Hide crept up to Falsity and breathed on his neck. That's all it took, and Falsity reacted the only way he knew how. He whirled on the ready stallion, batting aside the thrown punches, kicking the stallion in the gut, and seizing him around neck when he buckled over, and squeezing, causing Hide to wheeze in between laughs. Falsity let the slime ball go, now completely smelling like filth himself.
"Hide, i'm going to kill you on of these days."
"That'll be the day!" Choked Hide.
"Why do you set me off like that? You know I can't help it."
Hide managed to stand back up. "Because the element of deception is wasted on you. You wield a lie like you do a hoof. Clumsy, and just for fun. Your lies are weak! If you truly embodied deception, you would have told me you liked my breath on your neck. It would have been creepy and unsettling, I would have been humiliated, shown up, and probably never tried it again. Instead, you attack me like your the element of asphyxiation. Unless that would have been the truth?"
"Hide, it would take some kind of research team from Canterlot to explain everything wrong with what you just said."
They sat in silence for a long time.
...
"My fellow elements! ...Thank you for coming." Seclus started blathering about something or other, most likely his own ego, but Falsity was focused on the very agitated Harm Hide. He skittered back and forth and stared intently at the blue orb before them all with utter fascination. Once again,. Falsity knew it could only end in one way.
Finally, Hide cut off Seclus as he shouted "See you on the other side!" and vanished in a flash of blue light when he grabbed the thing. He dropped it when he did, and in reflex, not wanting it to be broken, fearing the orb was fragile, he grabbed at it.
The world became a spinning palette of colors and he felt like he was surrounded by rushing water, lifting him up, spinning him around, before throwing him out like he had been launched, and landing on his flank in soft grass. He opened his eyes and looked up at the bright, warm afternoon sun, the green, lush grass and fields around him, and the many apple trees in full maturity.
Bewildered, he wandered, not daring to try any of the fruit. When was the last time they had fruit? It had been hay on the dinner table. Ever since... Ever since...
He dropped the thought like the colt from this morning and focused on finding out where he was. He managed to determine that the edge of the apple farm was not far from where he started. He soon started hearing a loud crack as something bashed itself into the trunks of a nearby tree. As he got closer, he could also make out a very familiar stallion's grunting sound in time with the loud crack. But no, that couldn't be him.
Finally, Falsity called out "Hello? Is anypony there?"
"E-yup!"
Falsity grumbled into the ground. This had to be some kind of trick. He curved around a tree, and sure enough, looking slightly bored, was Big Mac. Falsity felt his eyes getting wet.
"Buh - Big Mac?"
"Eeyup."
Falsity charged forward, catching the now confused (yet still bored) stallion in a hug. Falsity cried like a filly.
"I cant believe it..." He managed to sob.
"Nope."
Falsity pulled away, face twisted with dirt and tears, big mac's sweat, and now rage.
"What in do you think your doing here?! I buried you, you inconsiderate dolt! I had to raise my little sister, our little sister, alone! Do you have any idea what that's like?"
Big Mac looked very uncomfortable now, and he stepped back. "Nope." He blurted.
Falsity turned away. "How did you survive? Was this intentional?"
A thought occurred to Falsity and he planted a hoof in Big Mac's chest. "Did you fake your death, coward?"
"Nope."
"Then what did you do?!"
Big Mac was silent.
A mare called, and Falsity's heart broke all over again. That explains it.
"Big Mac! Ya almost done?" Falsity doubted himself now, that voice was familiar, twisted with an accent and much older, but he wondered...
An yellow coated, blonde maned mare with freckles and covered in sweat emerged from beyond the path, and rushed over enraged with what she saw.
"Big Mac! This ain't no time for chit-chattin' with our friends! We got work to do! ...Who is this, anyway?"
Big Mac shrugged. Falsity gave him a glare, then broke a smile wrapped Applejack in a big hug as well. She looked like she had just seen Big Mac speak an entire sentence.
"Well, ain't he the affectionate one!" She said, trying to make sense of what was happening.
"Applebloom!" He cried, "Your all grown up!"
"Um.." But before she elaborate, he continued
"Did you die your mane? It looks great! And I love what you did with the Acre! Why, I couldn't have done it better myself! I mean, how is everything? Pretty big change since I been gone, huh?"
He released Applejack and she cried "Granny Smith!"
Falsity felt his heart skip a beat again. "Granny Smith is here?"
Applejack shot him a look and started to trot away, calling "Common, stranger!"
"Stranger?" He looked back at a strangely sad Big Mac, then he called after he easily caught up to her. He was starting to get all kinds of crazy explanations as to his situation, but one stood out among the rest...
They approached the house he knew all too well. "Please tell me you re-built the house sometime after I left..."
Applejack shook her head as she entered. There, sitting in her chair, rocking like she had never left, was Granny Smith.
"Applejack? You done already?" She asked. Falsity was starting to feel awfully emotionally drained.
"Granny, do we have any cousins comin' around anytime soon? Maybe one uh the crazies?"
Falsity chuckled.
"Well, no dear, not for awhile, why do you ask?"
"Cause this 'ere stranger knows mah little sister and Big Mac somehow, but for the life ah me I can' place him. He does look familiar though..."
"Applejack, I can tell yer right now that no immediate member of the Apple family is purple."
Applejack turned to him, and he stepped forward.
"Granny..." He said.
"Ello, deary, what can Grany Smith do to you?"
"Granny, you told me a tale of how Ponyville was founded.."
"Ever-pony knows that story." Applejack reasoned.
Falsity nodded. "I know what has happened, Applebloom. I'm sorry I showed up like this. I'm leaving now." He turned to leave.
"Mah name is Applejack."
Falsity looked at her. "What?"
"I'm not Applebloom, she's upstairs. Im her older sister, Applejack."
He smiled at her. "My name is...uh, Savannah. And I hope you have better luck raising her than I did. If I may? ...Don't put her in charge of anything. Ever."
She gave him a warm smile. "Look, I dunno what kind of apples you been eatin', but take care of yerself, ya hear?"
Falsity trotted back through the door, looked back once, and departed for Ponyville.
"Lord Gainer, Sir?"
A gray pegasus with a long green tail and green wings stared at the wall in contemplation. A golden axe-staff with an emerald on the handle was strapped to his back.
"My lord, we need a decision now!"
"Break in, plant the evidence, leave the notes, and wait for Lord Fog Fiend's signal."
"Yes, my Lord." Gainer nodded at the lowly paper-pusher who worked for the law enforcement around here departed his office, and after a moment the pegasus followed him. While the paper-pusher hustled his way out of City Hall, Gainer stopped just outside the door and lit up a cigarette. He puffed it for a moment, then inhaled it fully. He felt the heat in his chest slowly calm and steady him, before he let it out a long slow puff.
"Those things'll kill ya, more surely than anything Animus ever sucked up."
Slowly, Gainer looked upwards to see Seclus on the ledge above him, wearing a cheeky smile. Slowly, Gainer looked down at the now ashy concrete, and puffed his cigarette.
"Seriously. You told me you were gonna quit."
Slowly, Gainer looked up and spat smoke in Seclus' face. Seclus held his breath, dropping his smile, and stood still.
"Gainer. I have news from the prince."
Gainer let out a puff of smoke.
"So we gotta go to the temple, meet there in half an hour."
"That's awful short notice, Sorcery."
Seclus was gone.
With a sigh, Gainer flicked the half-finished cigarette into the plant nearby. He went back to his office, and slid out the axestaff of apathy, stapping it to his back. Then he made an even slower pace to the temple. Along the way, he passed the pony named Fog Fiend, who gave him a cross look. That was all the information Gainer needed.
...
Gainer had made it to the temple, and upon entering, saw a surprisingly alert Shone Grace, Priestess in training and front door pony for the faithful. Everypony around knew her. Gainer was about to say something when he heard a thud above them, and they gave each other a tired look.
"I need a cigarette," whispered Gainer just before he started to climb the stairs. When he got to the top, wheezing like an old stallion, he promised himself he would never smoke again.
Before him sat a very silent Harm Hide and Falsity. Harm Hide had a red marks around his neck, but it looked like Gainer had simply arrived to soon to intervene in any way. They always got like this after a scuffle. Silent anger seethed like lava from both of them. It was odd, considering that when he had gone to visit the ring at Sweet Blood's Acre, Falsity seemed to grow stronger and more sociable with each fight he won. He didn't blame him, if Gainer could fight like Falsity, the world would already belong to Gainer. The money, the mares, the drink and the food...
Gainer briefly wondered what was the lie. The solitary, silent pony? The extrovert fighting pony? Perhaps they were both lies. Perhaps they were both the truth.
Gainer took up residence between the warring ponies. It was a moment before he said "All rise."
Hide blurted "He started it!"
Gainer turned on him, face contorted with rage, but he spoke in a deadly whisper. "You will use the terminology that has been provided to you, and you will use it well. Then, you will calmly and emotionlessly explain what happened, then, you will adhere to my judgment. My word is law. Any questions?"
Hide shook his head.
"Good."
"The defendant has violated multiple Ponyville clauses and sections, caused irreparable harm and damages, some collateral, all with full knowledge of his actions, malicious and felonious intent, and no remorse."
Gainer considered this for a moment.
"The defense may present it's case."
"I find that I have made no such transgressions, even unintentionally. The prosecution has-"
"The defendant has no cause to slander the prosecution."
"For the record, you honor, the evidence, marks upon my neck, are in full view of the court."
"You may present your version of the events that have recently come to pass."
"Well, I got out of bed, made some toast-"
"Do not proceed to make a mockery of my courtroom! The defense shall henceforth explain the marks that have already proceeded to evidence."
"There was a conflict of interest. Me and the prosecution, named "Falsity" by the way-"
"The defense has been warned about slander. Also, the defense needs to review what a conflict of interest is." Gainer couldn't help but crack a smile.
"Myself and the prosecution, came to a disagreement over the status of his illegal fighting operation."
"The case is dismissed. If the defense cannot adhere to proper procedure, this court has no power to fight for it's rights."
Falsity stuck his tongue at Hide, and Gainer whupped him on the back of his head.
"Um, ow?"
"That is not proper courtroom etiquette, Falsity."
"You shoulda' heard what Hide said about the priestess downstairs."
The three stallions shared a laugh.
...
"My fellow elements, thank you for coming." Gainer only hears the first line as he sees Falsity distracted as well. Wondering what is bothering him, Gainer followed his gaze to see that Harm Hide was absolutely obsessed with the blue orb that Seclus had brought with him. He stared at it intently, dodging side to side, breathing heavily, his ears twitching. Gainer knows whats going to happen next. Hide dashes forward and grabs the thing, blabs some one-liner, then - vanishes into thin air?
Seclus looks more annoyed than anything else. Then, Falsity completely looses control, and grabs it, vanishing into thin air. This is why Falsity can never amount to anything, far too impulsive and violent than is ever necessary. A pony can never afford to lose control, of anything. Ever. Gainer remembered the changelings in Canterlot, and shivered. Then he rubbed his head.
Seclus caught the orb himself, setting it on the table again. "As I was saying, the prince merely said that it will warp us someplace else, though he didn't specify where. Probably to test us."
No, thought Gainer, its because he doesn't care, or more likely, the prince simply does not know. It is downfall, that he simply passes off laziness and apathy as allowing others to be empowered. Seraphic seems content to prowl the streets of Canterlot like some kind of demon! That's not apathy. Gainer could wield apathy better than Seraphic could wield the sun itself. That is why Gainer deserved to be an alicorn, not any of the other elements.
Seclus rubbed the orb, and said "Anyway, suppose we should follow our good friends into the abyss. Would anypony like to go together?"
Nopony spoke.
"Very well," he whispered as he vanished.
Gainer gave his two companions a gentle nod, then grabbed hold of the orb himself.
It was a little like completely covering your eyes with black velvet, covering your ears and nose with beeswax, then swimming down to the bottom of the sea. Suffocating, crushing, blackness and nothingness. Just when it seemed like the nothing would last forever, it opened up, depositing him into the sky above Ponyville.
The pegasus easily regained his hover and overlooked his city. It was different, to say the least. He could name a dozen drug dens, bars, and clubs, all of which were gone, replaced with simple shacks and residential areas. How in the world could the city sustain itself? The tax rate here must be obscene. Fog Fiend must have - he was about to draw another conclusion, when a blue blur crashed into him, leaving a rainbow aura in it's wake. He was falling again, and now his left wing wouldn't move, and the axestaff on his back was weighing him down.
"Flap those wings, pegasus!" A mare shouted from above him. He managed a grunt of pain, and when he saw the ground rushing up at him, he yelled out for help.
Then it all stopped, and he felt himself being placed on gently on the ground. He huffed and composed himself.
"Are you okay?" Asked the blue mare.
He eyed her. "Name?"
She eyed him right back, something no mare should ever do. "Well, Rainbow Dash."
"Occupation?"
"I'm in charge of weather! Everypony knows that!"
Why was a mare thinking he she had his job? Unless...
"Place of residence?"
She pointed in the direction of a field, and said "I live in the clouds down there!"
He nodded, hoping it concealed his confusion. "See you in court. " He turned and went in the direction of the hospital, but Rainbow hovered right behind him. "Aw, common, it was accident! I do it all the time!" She made a face when she realized what she had just said.
He didn't look at her. "If I am in any way injured, which I am, you will answer to the city of Ponyville."
"Who are you? Do you work for the major or something?"
Now he gave her a look. "Take my advise and get out of town. I don't know you, so that means that Fog Fiend'll only chase ya to the outskirts of his favorite bar." He turned and resumed his walk, which was rapidly becoming more like a limp.
"What? Fog Fiend? Bar? Look, we can work this out!"
He turned on her again. "Who sent you? Was it Seclus? Animus? Who?!
"Nopony tells Rainbow Dash what to do!"
He stopped short. "...Go on." He turned his back on her again.
"So...we're cool, right?"
"Oh, you'll know exactly when we're cool. And I promise you, it'll be soon."
"Cool! See ya soon! And you should really take that thing off your back when you fly!" And she took off.
Gainer growled to himself.