Evrypn, Spk iz Ded

After three days of travel, Rainbow was Latitude:  2-  Eh, screw this.  She's in the Bermuda Triangle.

Suddenly, Rainbow's wings started cramping.

"Ow!  Ow, ouch!"

Damn, over water.  Rainbow thought to herself.

"Oh my Celestia...."  Rainbow saw what lay not far ahead of her.

"HURRICANE!!!"

Rainbow was swept away.

*  *  *

As she was floating around the strong winds of the hurricane, she noticed flying disks, metal birds, and when looking down, boats.

Before she knew it, she was pushed into the eye of the storm.  She Fell, as the pain became too much to bear.  Unfortunately, she was high enough where, once contact was made with water, she'd die.  And she knew this.

Huh, I guess your life does flash before your eyes when you die....  WOAH!!!  What?  Why is it....  I can see it right in front of me....  Am I frozen?  Is this....  Who the hell is that?

*  *  *

[Cue le The Twilight Zone intro]

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"Whoa!  What's goin' on?"

Rainbow Dash found herself in a tunnel, lit with lamps that hung from the ceiling, and a wooden door at the end.  She looked behind herself to see a cave wall.

Dead-end....  Hey... where's that music coming from?  Sounds nice....

She walked towards the door, and opened it.

[Cue le House of the Rising Sun by le Animals]

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She was greeted with a dim room, music, smoke, and a seapony orgy.

"Ew...."

"Oh hey baby, why don'tcha come on and give this ol' fish a fin-job, eh?" asked one of the seaponies with an especially hungry look on his face (who was already getting sucked off).

"Ew!  NO!  I'm gay."

"Eh, different strokes for different folks I guess."

Rainbow Dash trotted through the smoke and crowd, hearing "oos" and "aahs" as she went.

Man, why is this smoke making me feel... happy? thought Rainbow.

She consulted a seapony who apparently just climaxed.

"Uh, excuse me?  Can you tell me what this smoke is?"

"Wha- oh, uh... yeah, it's cannabis.  Why?"

Oh... oh shit.  We can't touch that stuff....

"Oh uh, never mind.  Uh, so what's the special occasion?"

"Oh, are you new to The Cult?"

"The 'what' now?"

"'The Cult'.  Y'know, worship of Aitselec.  Anyway, today's the day Aitselec, the creator of the Universe and everything in it, spawns a new era for this worthless planet."

"Oh... huh?  What's Aitselec gonna do?"

"Well, shape the lands anew, kill any surviving members of the last sentient species, and make us, the seaponies, the new rulers of this mighty planet."

"Oh... uh, when is he coming?"

"When we commit mass Dahij at midnight, which is in two hours, which will summon Him.  Seriously, didn't you go through Aitselec101?"

"Oh, yeah... I'm just, very forgetful.  Heh heh."

"Oh, I don' blame ya.  Especially when we're burnin' the greens!  Hah!"

Rainbow Dash spent the next two hours sitting on the floor, shoving away the occasional seapony-mistaking-you-for-a-fuck-toy.

Then, the music stopped.  And the marijuana stopped being burned.  And the lights were turned up.

"Okay everyseapony, it is time."

The seaponies all drew .45 Magnums, put them up to their temples, and pulled the triggers.

Suddenly, Rainbow was thrown to the ground, as a massive shaking occurred.  The lights went out, and a dark-red portal surrounded by strange runes appeared on the floor.

A cat jumped out.