War

And here I am, back at the Royal vault of boring shit. Just trying out some new armor for a "Special task force" or something, It's really itchy around the crotch, and Rarity's cousin Scolds me when I try to scratch.

So when she's not looking, I scratch. She has like fucking eyes at the back of her head, because while she's looking the other way she's all like: "Damn it 677, quit scratching your balls" then I'm all like: "But they i-i-i-itch" with a whining tone.

So when she leaves the room I'm scratching more that a DJ, Then she's all like :"Quit scratching your balls, please." Then I quit, and say:"Fucking Bi-i-i-itch".

So my day continues as normal, I have to wear the suit all day, so when Celestia isn't looking I scratch, because again, this siut itches like a fucking bitch.

So When I get off duty, Rarity's cousin asks me to give her notes on the suit So I write down:

Suit itches

It's really restricting

It itches like a bitch

Did I mention it Itches?

Still reading my list?

Here's a list of it itching in different languages:

сврби,svědí

чешется,痒い

juckt, and φαγούρα

And she gets pissed, and tells me to wear it home. פאַקינג הור

Twilight comments on the armor, and I tell her that her brother looks like a sausage in it. I take it off and sigh.

We head upstairs turn on the TV, Spike falls asleep while watching it, At 1:30 A.M. on a Tuesday if you're up and not having sex, you're not me.

So the next day, I have the day off, So While Twilight's out with her friends, I'm home playing Xbox. So while I'm sitting there playing Mass Effect 3 She decides to call me and mess with my game. So I pause, set the controller down, and talk on the phone.

When she hangs up, I find out that Spike had started playing my Xbox. Little guy's pretty good at Mass Effect.

Seeing as they treat me like family, I let him play until the inevitable happens: he died, and I hadn't saved for hours.

I got pissed, And kicked him off the couch. Then we wrestled a bit, my face got burnt, and we started laughing.

So while I'm putting Ice on my face, Twilight comes home and sees Spike playing Mass Effect, She starts playing, So, In conclusion, I didn't get my Xbox back for a week. So when It's my next day off, I still can't play.

Now Twilight's buying me games, but I don't get to play them. For her birthday, I'm getting her another Xbox So I can have mine back.