Chapters The History Of Cheese Sandwich
"Another One Eats The Hay. And then with in a matter of hours I was getting letters from around the world saying they want a copy of Another One Eats The Hay. And so when I graduated college I moved right up to sunset fillydelphia and then about 2 weeks later my manager finally got me signed to a record deal with HOOVES BROS ENTERTAINMENT. And that was when I released my self named album CHEESE SANDWICH. So to make my first album a bit more current I recorded a few more parodys such as Derpy, I Love Daring Do and Cutie Markarona. The album was at number 35 on the billboard charts and then I won my first ever Grammy. So basically I knew that my next album would have to be better."
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
"That's when I released my second album IN 3D. That was the album with my first polka medley Pony Polkas On 45. I was kinda struggling for a good parody idea and that's when a pony named Black Gryph0n came along. Black Gryph0n had already hit big with the song Tweet It so I came up with the lyrics for a parody named Eat It. At first I was thinking well Black Gryph0n's like the biggest star in all of Equestria good luck getting permission from him to do a parody. But as luck would have it we posted a few letters and then two weeks later word got back to me saying yup Glack Gryph0n's okay with it go right ahead. And it was all thanks to him that I won my second Grammy. Then I asked myself...............what now."
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH PONY POLKA PARTY
"PONY POLKA PARTY. which had the song Living With A Hernia a parody of the song Living In Equestria by AcousticBrony. But unfortunately because it was rushed I didn't really have alot of time to work on it. And while the album left my hard core fans in stitches PONY POLKA PARTY was a flop heck it failed to climb higher than number 180 on the billboard charts. And so at that point I was thinking okay well i've peeked with Eat it and Like A Surgeon and now i'm going down hill oh well it was fun while it lasted. But at the same time I was at least thankful for having fore albums most ponys don't have that. But thankfully my record company said to just try again and see what happens and so for my next album I took my time and then I released my fifth album........"
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH OFF THE DEEP END
"OFF THE DEEP END. Which had my next big hit....well what my fans like to call my comeback parody that of course was Smells Like Changlings." "Oh that's my favourite parody" Sweetie Bell complemented him "Oh thank's Sweetie Bell infact Kolt Kobain actually said in an interview that he didn't know FOALVARNA had made it until he heard the Cheese Sandwich parody and of course I won my next Grammy. So basically Smells Like Changlings was sorta hailed as a comeback even though I really didn't go anywhere. But after that I knew I was on another roll so the next year I released a new album entitled......."
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH CHEESEAPALOOZA
"CHEESEAPALOOZA. Which had a parody of The Red Hot Chilli Ponys song Under The Barn entitled Ponyville Anthem and a song called Jurassic Pony. Which big surprise won me another Grammy but sadly The Red Hot Chilli Ponys didn't really like the song that much. But The Red Hot Chilli Ponys were nothing compared to what happened tree years later when I realised my eighth album....."
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH BAD MANE DAY
"BAD MANE DAY. See for BAD MANE DAY I wanted to do a parody of the Coltio song Gangster Ponys Paradise. So my manager sent a letter asking permission and word got back to me saying that he said yes so I made the song Amish Pony Paradise. But it turns out he actually said no to Amish Pony Paradise and I still to this day do not know what happened. Thankfully though me and Coltio are friends now I bump into him a few years ago and we brohoofed and huged and so he's cool now. but despite Coltios objection Amish Pony Paradise was another big hit and then I won yet another Grammy. Then for my next album I decided to change my look a bit so in January 1998 I got MASIK (Magic Assisted In-Situ Keratomileusis) surgery to correct my near-sightedness so I no longer had to wear glasses. I decided to shave my mustache around the same time although I do grow it back some times when nobody's looking." "HAHAHA oh cheesy you're so funny." Pinkie Pie said to her accordion playing spouse. "Ha thanks Pinkie babe so my next album was......"
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
"RUNNING WITH SCISSORS. Which had a parody of the song Equestrian Pie entitled The Saga Begins which was based on the tale of the two sisters. And of course it won me another............well you know. So after the album I decided it was time for some days on the road so I through on a black hat and cape and I partyed in 241 different towns. And of course one of thoughs towns was Ponyville were me and Pinkie planned Rainbows birthiversary. And when I was done touring I returned to Ponyville and started dating Pinkie Pie and then I married her on February 10, 2001. Then 2 years later our daughter Nutella Sandwich was born on February 11, 2003. Then a few months later I realised my first album of the new millennium entitled........"
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH STRAIGHT OUTTA MANEHATTEN
"STRAIGHT OUTTA MANEHATTEN. The main parody on the album was a parody of the Vinyl Scratch song Ridin' Pony entitled Macarony. And Macarony was actually my biggest hit so far it was even on the charts the same time the Vinyl Scratch song was. And it brought me my next Grammy. The album also had an original song called Parasprite Stomping Day. There were no Parasprites harmed during the creation of the song. HAHA we're trying all these different fruits and vegetables to get the perfect stomping and/or crunchy sounds it uh it was hard work. Then five years later in 2011 I finally released a new album called......"
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH CHEESEPOCALYPSE
"CHEESEPOCALYPSE. And for the album the main parody was a song called Perform This Way a parody of the Pony Gaga song Born This Way. So I came up with the lyrics and sent them to her management and I got a letter back saying no no we need to hear the song. And I was just thinking thats ridiculous I mean it's your song just put my lyrics to the song and boom.
"Wait so why did they do that." Sweetie Bell asked in confusion.
"They wouldn't tell me so I basically had to cancel a family vacation go in and record the song. So I sent in the song and they still said no. And I couldn't even get a reason outta them so I sent the song to Pony Demento cause I thought. Look i've put to much work into this so there's no way i'm not gonna let ponys at least hear the song. And with in a matter of hours I was getting letters from around Equestria many ponys were actually upset on my behalf. Actually one of thoughs letters was from Gagas campaign saying that she loves the song. But as it turns out Pony Gaga wasn't aware of this at all and when she found out she was like yeah of course i'm a Cheese Sandwich fan and this is an empowerin song sure he can do it. And so we finally make it here to my current album......."
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH MANDATORY FUN
"MANDATORY FUN, Which has a bunch of parodys on it there's Tacky, Word Crimes, Foil, Handy and Inactive. And since it came out i've been performing all over Equestria in fact yesterday I performed at the Manehatten live theatre. Basically at the end of the day i've been going for almost 40 years and I don't think i'll be stoping anytime soon. So to all my fans thanks for sticking beside me for all these years this is Cheese Sandwich signing out.
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
It had been a pretty succesful day for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Well girls" Sweetie Bell said to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo "we've already interviewed Princess Cadence, Photo Finish and...what was that colts name again wooden some whoever so who should we interview next?"
"Well..........why not Cheese Sandwich?" Apple Bloom suggested "I mean he's pretty famous"
"Cheese?" Scootaloo said in confusion "But doesn't he just do parodys of other ponys songs"
"That's right my favourite one is macarony. that was a parody of the song Ridin' Pony by Vinyl Scratch"
"Oh yeah" Sweetie Bell replied "My favourite parody was Smells Like Changelings by FOALVARNA"
"I don't know guys I just don't get why ponys pay bits to here a parody when they can just buy the original song for the same price"
"Well Cheeses new album is number one on the billboard charts in Manehatten" Apple Bloom replied
"Yeah and besides" Said Sweetie "I heard he has a really cool life story come on Scoots"
"Okay fine let's go who knows it could be fun"
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
"Are you girls sure my whole life"
"Oh absolutely tell us everything" Apple Bloom said enthusiasticly.
"Come on Cheese I wanna know to" Pinkie playfully said to her brown curly haired husband.
"Okay fine but I warn ya it's pretty long"
"Well I was born on October 23 1959 and I grew up in downtown manehatten"
"WAIT WAIT WAIT" Scootaloo interrupted "You were born in 1959"
"Yeah why what's rong with that?"
"Wait so you're............HUH YOU'RE 54 YEARS OLD!"
"Of course he is" Pinkie continued "how old did you think he was"
"I don't know I thought he was at least in his late 30's wait Pinkie how old are you"
"Scootaloo i'm 51" "51......I thought you were in your early 20's"
"Eh hem may I continue so as I was saying...............I grew up in downtown manehatten. I had a really good life though my parents were a bit over protective. Which as a farther myself now I can greatly appreciate. When I was 15 I attended manehatten high school well it's the middle school now" "So when did you learn to play the accordion" Sweetie bell asked "Oh well when I was about five years old I did have an intrest in the guitar but then I saw the accordion and I just thought boy wouldn't it be cool if I new how to play that. And so I had my first accordion lesson one day before my seventh birthday. A friend of mine turned me on to a radio show called The Pony Demento Show. And so I started making my own little parody songs on these cassette tapes and sending them in to The Pony Demento Show. So then after a few months I had became kind of a celebrity on The Pony Demento Show so one day I was on there with my accordion and I told Pony Demento I had rote a new song called........
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH DARE TO BE STUPID
"So the race was on for me to release another album but the question was what song could I parody now?. So to give myself some extra time to think of what would be the next big parody I decided to make a new original song called Dare To Be Stupid. But lucky for me one day Octavia was walking down the street with her friend and just wondered out loud gee I wonder when Cheese Sandwich is gonna do Like A surgeon. Then her friend told a friend of my manager then he told my manager then my manager told me and I thought hey that's not a bad idea maybe I will. So big suprise both Dare To Be Stupid and Like A Surgeon brought me my third Grammy so I was on a roll pumping out album after album after album so then in October of 1986 I rushed out my forth album entitled.........."
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH EVEN WORSE
"EVEN WORSE. EVEN WORSE went back to the basics making fun of Black Gryph0n the main song on the album was a parody of his song Bad entitled Fat. So Fat was a success and I won a Grammy for best.....concept song. So after EVEN WORSE I had an idea.....to right and produce a play. The play was two years in the making from concept to casting then in 1989 we premiered the play MLP. But unfortunately MLP hit the theatre D.O.A not alot of ponys liked the play but then a few years later the play was reenacted and it actually sold out.....three times. But after it floped I was just kinda waiting around for the next big hit and that's when FOALVARNA stepped into the picture. Unfortunately Kolt Cobain wasn't responding to my managers letters so I had to ask him myself. Because of MLP I was good friends with Lyra Heartstrings who was at the time a member of the manehatten live theatre and I heard that FOALVARNA was gonna be performing that night so I sent her a letter saying if you get Kolt Cobain alone in a room have him send me a letter cause I need to talk to him. So he did and I sent a letter back saying hay Kolt it's me Cheese Sandwich and I was wondering if I could do a parody of Smells Like Filly Spirit. Then he sent a letter back aksing well is it gonna be a song about food?. To wich I replied well no it's gonna be a song about how changlings suck. Then he rote back saying oh ok sure that's fine sounds cool so then I released my sixth album......"
The History Of Cheese Sandwich
CHEESE SANDWICH POODLE HAT
"POODLE HAT. Which had a parody of the Real Pony Shady song Loose Yourself entitled Coach Potato. Sadly just like The Red Hot Chilli Ponys he didn't like the song. But I did win another Grammy for it life couldn't seem to get much better for me. But unfortunately sometimes life can be crewel."
"What do you mean life can be crewel." Scootaloo asked in a concerned tone.
"Well let's just say......................I always knew that one day I would lose my parents but I never knew that it would be so suddenly." Cheese said as Pinkie wrapped her foreleg around his shoulder and a tear ran down his cheek.
"It was just such a shock when it happened." Pinkie continued. "They were just great ponys and just to have them be gone was and still is just awful."
"It was certainly the most horrific moment of my life" Cheese said while wiping the tears off his face "and it's obviously still very painful to talk about."
"Oh my gosh we're so sorry about your parents." Sweetie Bell said.
"After what happened I spent about three years off the scene with Pinkie raising Nutella."
"It definitely tuck Cheese awhile to start thinking about parodys again."
"So yeah I was gone for a while but then I finally released another album entitled......."