Life's Left Hook

After a quick trip down the stairs and out the door, you hit the streets and start walking.

It isn't that far, thankfully–2 blocks wasn't a trek at all.

But, before you start walking, you ask a question.

"So, Cadance. I take it you want us to look professional? Since you don't want many to know?" you ask.

Thankfully the cacophony of the streets was enough to cover your question like a blanket to all ears but Cadance.

"Of course," she says, nodding. "I'm royalty, you're highly regarded–it's nothing more than a dinner for us."

"Got it."

With that, you walk, and soon enough, you meet the large crowds of the city.

Many, many raised eyebrows come into yours and Cadance's direction.

No doubt they were curious as to why a princess and a human were in their city.

But, this crowd was different than most, and in more respects than most of them being Germane goats.

Most before were amazed, happy, or excited to see you.

Most here seem to be curious, confused, or, in some cases, afraid.

You think some are even disgusted.

Shrugging it off as 'politics', you walk up to the door of the restaraunt and swing it open, letting Cadance pass.

The first thing you notice?

Everything is made of wood.

The bar, the booths, the floor, the roof, the mugs..

Hell, even the clock on the other side of the bar is wood.

No carpet and no pads for seats in sight.

Cadance is going to have an issue...

But, with a booty like that, it's understandable.

The SECOND thing you notice is that everyone in the place, spare a select few, is a goat.

The third thing you notice?

There's only one thing on the menu.

Asparagus.

And in every way, shape, and form you could imagine.

Well, scratch that thought – the goats are actually taking chomps of everything they can.

The menus themselves, the mugs, the ketchup packets, and even the salt shakers are shown no mercy in the eyes and jaws of the goats.

But, the only thing you would consider relatively edible yourself is what's plastered all over the menu.

Seriously.

You were handed a menu when you walked in.

There is nothing but asparagus!

Even the DRINKS are made of asparagus!

Wait.

"Die Hütte von Spargel".

'Die' means 'the', and 'von' means 'of'...

'Hütte' sounds like 'hut'.

What does Spargel sound like?

Oh god, you're in the hut of asparagus.

Cadance seems to be surprised herself, although not in the absolute shock you seem to be in.

"Well, Celestia certainly wasn't kidding when she said the goats of Doetschland take pride in their... Asparagus. Hmm."

"Well, shall we find a seat, Anonymous?"

"Of... Course?"

You sit down at a booth.

The corner of the seat is gnawed off...

After shaking your head, you look at the menu you were handed.

As does Cadance.

Asparagus everywhere.

But, for some weird reason, most of the asparagus is white.

This is quite the contrary to your typical green stuff you eat.

You raise an eyebrow, curious.

"...Uh, Princess?"

She looks at you with a confused look, mostly because of the term 'Princess'.

But, then she realizes what you're doing, and seems to understand.

"Yes, Anonymous?" she asks, keeping a straight face.

"Isn't asparagus supposed to be green?"

One of the goats at the bar looks at you and chuckles a bit.

He shakes his head and turns back to the bar to say a few words to his friends in his native tongue.

No doubt he heard and understood what you said.

He was probably mocking you, too.

Shrugging a bit, you look at Cadance hoping for a reply.

"Here? Asparagus is white. It's something they do while they grow it -- it makes it less bitter, and easier to chew."

Well maybe this won't be so bad, then.

"Oh, I see. Huh."

"If you want green asparagus, you actually have to tell them that you want it green."

"Good thing you caught that. People would have laughed at you if you asked the waiter why your asparagus was white."

"Why's that?"

Cadance sets her menu to the side before turning back to you.

"Because. That's an easy way to show you're a foreigner. An Equestrian."

The way she said it made it sound like a bad thing.

You're a little concerned and a little curious at the same time.

"I take it it's frowned upon, for some odd reason?"

"Not necessarily. It's just that Equestrians are typically deemed ignorant of the world around them. There's a pretty good reason for that, actually, and I'll discuss it with you later."

"Wait, there's a reason we're ignorant? What do you mean?"

"I said. I'll explain later."

You take the hint and shut your gabber.

Soon, you see something that actually sounds pretty good.

Steamed asparagus with steamed potatoes and melted butter.

Not bad.

After making your final decision, you put your menu away.

"Well, I guess that's that, then."

"What're you getting?" she asks, resting her head on her forelegs.

"Steamed asparagus and potatoes. You?"

"I was just going to get some of the soup here, and maybe some juice."

You raise an eyebrow.

"Juice?"

She smiles and nods.

"Mmhmm. Asparagus juice."

That doesn't sound too tasty.

"Why?"

She shrugs.

"Why not?"

"Well, it might not taste that good?"

She shrugs again.

"I'll never know until I try it, Anonymous. And, even if it does taste bad, I'll still have water."

Huh.

Well, if the mare wants to drink asparagus juice, you aren't one to stop her.

You stay silent, waiting for your waiter.

And, after a moment, she continues.

"Anonymous, you'll find, as you live longer, that life isn't a question of 'why'."

You look at her quizzically, and soon reply with what you know is the answer.

"It's a question of 'why not'?"

She raises her eyebrows, surprised.

"Well, I'm a bit impressed, Anonymous. I knew you were a bit of an intellectual, but that was a bit of a curveball."

"Well, I saw where you were going. Can't help but agree."

Thank you, based Cave Johnson.

"Well, good."

And, as if on cue, you see a waiter walk over.

A cute little goat walks over, and looks at Cadance.

"Oh, mein Sonnengott! Wir sind in der Gegenwart von lizenz?"

Cadance nods.

And, she thinks for a moment before a response.

"Schmeicheln nicht Anonymous und ich. Wir sind hier für das Abendessen am, um... Vorabend ging unser... Unser... Aufenthalt! Unser Aufenthalt in Doetschland. Bitte, nicht die Aufmerksamkeit auf unseren Tisch zu bringen."

Okay, that's actually impressive.

You gave up on learning Cervidan.

Evidently Cervidan was the easiest language to learn, but it was still too much for you to handle.

And you know she already read that letter from the Union not that long ago.

How many languages does Cadance speak?

The waiter seemed fairly impressed, and went on.

"Ich verstehe. Was kann ich Ihnen bringen?"

After this, the two have a short exchange with more... Sounds.

Sounds you don't understand.

You point to what you want, since you can't speak.

Classy as fuck.

But, after a moment, she leaves, and soon after, a different goat drops off a couple glasses of water.

"She says it'll be ten minutes, Anonymous," Cadance says, looking at you with a mocking smile.

You roll your eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not official royalty or whatever. I don't speak anything other than Equestrian or Bedroom."

She rolls her eyes at you this time, and chuckles.

"Well, I suppose it was forced on me. That, and there aren't many things I've wanted to do more than see the world."

"Oh? Really?"

She nods.

"Travelling on a tour like this is a day of which I've dreamed since I was small."

She smiles and lights up her horn, bringing her glass to her lips.

You smile.

"Well, that's good to know. But, even if this is an escape, do you not travel a lot?"

She shakes her head.

"No, sadly. Not only is Celestia rather strict on travel, but the only reason I ever DO travel is for either diplomatic reasons or some large-scale events. That's about it."

She takes a sip of her water and continues.

"That, and, well, Shining was always better at talking to others than I was. I'm a bit too aggressive sometimes."

With a thud, she sets her glass down, and looks at it for a moment.

"Funny. He's the captain of the guard, yet he's probably the softest man I've ever met."

She just stares at the ice floating in her glass for a minute.

No doubt she was just thinking about Shining, and what all has happened.

You're still curious, where the hell did he run off to?

And exactly what the hell is happening in the Crystal Empire right now?

You know that she knows just as much as you do.

Which is jack shit.

That must be stressful, you'd think.