Life's Left Hook

After another short walk, the two of you find your way back to the hotel room.

The air is bitter cold compared to the warm pool.

Thankfully you didn't have to endure that torture for long...

Regardless, the door swings open and you step inside, rushing past everyone else in the room.

And, as quick as you can, slide on your pants.

It is quite a bitch when your legs are still a little wet, but you manage.

After that brutal air-dry, you could care less.

Your shirt and suit come on as well, along with your socks and shoes.

In a jiff, you're dressed and ready to go.

Everyone else in the room has been getting ready, it seems.

Cadance is hastily trying to dry out her everything.

Drying out with a coat must be a bitch, you think.

The doctor is fixing herself up as well, using a brush on her mane.

It's glowing dimly; she's using her magic.

Sometimes you forget she's a unicorn, since she hardly ever uses the damned thing.

Which makes no sense to you, since you know you'd use your horn all the time if you had one.

But you do use your horn a lot.

And it's incredibly magical.

So you're not going to complain about not having magic.

Smiling, you look over at Scootaloo, who is preparing about as much as one would expect of a tomboy.

Nothing.

She sits there, patiently waiting.

She sees you and smiles.

"Ready to play, man?"

You smile, and start walking over to her.

"You betcha. You know how to play cards?"

She nods enthusiastically.

"I do, actually! Donut Joe taught me how to play!"

Well, that's a comforting thought.

"Really? Hold 'em, even?"

She nods.

"Huh. Cool. So I won't have to teach you everything?"

Scootaloo shrugs.

"Eeeh. We'll see how rusty the ol' tricks are, but, I think I'll be able to keep up with you guys."

"Heh. Sounds like a plan, Scoots."

With that, you turn to Doc.

"I take it you're coming, too?"

She scoffs at you, smiling.

"Of course I'm coming. I'm brushing for a reason, Anonymous!"

"Fair point."

"Besides, vhat is there to do if I don't come? I'd die of boredom."

"Another fair point."

"And I need a drink. It's been to long since I've been able to loosen up."

Well, y'know, except for that time at the strip club.

After that thought, another one takes its place.

She's a drinker?

"Wait, aren't you a doctor?"

She gives you an odd glance before resuming her brushing.

"No, I'm not. I just decided to cut you open, re-arrange your internal organs, and charge ze princess half a fortune because I thought it vould be funny."

Wait, is she serious?

She sounded serious.

She glances at you again, and blink as she realizes how confused your face is.

A condescending look immediately replaces her surprise.

"Yes, Anonymous. I am a doctor. Vhy bring zis up?"

Finally, she sets the brush down.

She pulls out a mirror, carefully inspecting herself one last time.

"Oh, I don't know. Wouldn't you know the health risks of, y'know, drinking?"

She nods.

"Of course I do. But, in ze end, I doubt it vill be ze booze zat kills me. And, if it does, so be it!"

"That's a pretty bleak outlook, doc."

"Only if you look at it zat vay."

Oh, boy, more cryptic words.

Just what you need.

Thankfully, the thoughts don't linger for long.

They're interrupted as the door unlatches and swings open, revealing one of your beautiful mares.

She gives everyone a nod as she walks in, smiling.

"I'm back," she chimes. "Are you all ready to go."

Scootaloo nods. "Yup!"

The doctor puts her mirror away and nods as well. "Of course."

She looks at you.

"Affirmitive."

Octavia looks around the room.

"Erm, Cadance?"

"Back here! In the bathroom!" she yells.

"She's drying her mane out. Give her a bit."

Octavia seems to understand.

But then, not a moment later, she looks confused again.

"And, erm, Trixie?"

With that, everyone looks at each other, and for a good fifteen seconds, there's nothing but silence.

Nobody has any idea.

"I have no idea. And I doubt vittle Scootaloo does," Cuore says, looking at Octavia in worry.

"H-Hey, don't call me little!"

You stifle a laugh, and you shrug.

"I don't know, and I doubt Cadance does."

"Oh, I do, actually!"

With that, Cadance steps outside the bathroom.

Her hair...

Tyrone would be jealous of that rainbow 'fro.

Everyone stares at her in shock, and, surprisingly, everyone manages to hold back their giggles.

"Shut up," she mutters, her head low as she shoots a glare.

You shake your head, letting out a sigh with a smile.

"But, uh, do go on, Cadance. You know where she is?"

Cadance nods.

"She should be reserving a table. She brought it up earlier, saying it would be a good idea if she got it earlier since Octavia would be here so late."

You nod.

"Ah. Makes sense. So she's down there then?"

She nods.

"Yyyyyeah. AFTER I get THIS mess sorted out!"

The room collectively giggles as Cadance huffs, heading back into the bathroom.

After an eternity, Candyass finally decides to get her shit in gear.

She walks outside, and her mane isn't a giant puffball.

It's just like it always is, flowing over her shoulders.

She smiles warmly, looking at everyone.

"All right, I'm ready."

You nod, opening the door and leading the way.

It was a hike to the casino.

It's on the other side of the hotel's complex, so it was a pain in the ass.

But, eventually, the five of you do find your way.

And, once you get there, it's undeniable.

You ARE AT the casino.

The ringing and jingling of the slot machines and the change within...

The cheap, colourful, and decorative carpet...

The dim but colorful lights everywhere you look...

This is a casino.

Folks are chewin' the fat at tables all around, and the strong, lingering scent of cheap booze and cigarette smoke makes its presence known.

Even though you've never been to Las Pegasus, you'd imagine this is what it must be like.

Scootaloo stares at everything, absolutely wide-eyed.

Both the doctor and Octavia seem to be very happy about being here, judging by the dopey looks on their faces.

Cadance just has a warm smile, it seems.

You?

You really don't know what to think.

Other than a couple of dumb bets with Scootaloo and the occasional (but rare) card games with the Apples, you don't have a clue about what you're doing.

But, if you don't, why are you so anxious?

You look around, and suddenly, some blue catches your eye.

It's Trixie, waving you over with a sly smirk on her face.

She's wearing her cape.

That's a nice touch.

You start walking over, your group of three and a half mares following you.

"About time you showed up," Trixie says, smiling as you walk up.

You hop up and take a seat right next to Trixie.

"Yeah, sorry. Cadance had to dry her mane out.

Octavia plops down on the other side of Trixie, and the Doctor sits right next to her.

Scootaloo pulls up to your left, and Cadance sits on the last seat.

Six seats, all in a circle.

With that, Trixie pulls up a small remote.

"Okay, so. Octavia, Trixie understands that you have the chips?"

She nods.

"I got them earlier today. I have three hundred fifty for all of us."

Trixie smiles. "Good. Now, are we playing casually, or is this going to be a total elimination tournament?"

Octavia thinks for a moment, tapping her chin.

"...Hmmm..."

After a moment, you see her smile wickedly.

She seems to have come to her conclusion.

And, was that a bit of fire in her eyes?

"You know, forget it. Total elimination. To the victor go the spoils."

Well now!

Everyone around the table looks excited to be here.

Octavia leans back, smiling as she starts dishing out the poker chips to everyone.

Cadance, almost across the poker table from you, waves over a nearby waitress.

"Ja, fräulein?" the waitress asks.

"Wir wollen fünf Alkohol," Cadance says, nodding.

"...I can speak Eqvestrian, you know," the waitress says, deadpanning.

After a moment of embarrassment, Cadance looks around, and then back at the waitress.

"Drinks. We would like drinks. All of us."

The waitress nods, pulling out a notepad.

"...Hm. Vhat vould you all like?"

Cadance thinks a moment before responding.

"Get me... A bottle of red wine. For us to share."

She glances at Octavia, Trixie, and the doctor.

Most seem to agree with the decision.

"We'll split it," she says, smiling, "but the two over there might want something different."

The waitress nods, and turns to Scootaloo.

"And for you, miss?"

Scoots taps her chin, thinking.

"...Eeeeeeh, I don't want nothin' too fancy. You got any cider?"

She nods. "Ja."

"Gimme some of that, then."

"Haht citer?"

Scootaloo blinks, turning to you.

You slowly shake your head, and she takes the hint.

"Uh... No, I guess," she says, turning to the waitress.

The waitress nods, turning to you.

Wine?

Cider?

Pfft.

Time to show these mares how to drink.

"Hmm. Get me a bottle of your best whiskey."

Wait, what the fuck, what are you doing?

Take a moment to consider this!

"Vhiskey? Certainly. One bottle of hard vhiskey straight from Appleoosa is coming for you."

Shit.

You've made a horrible mistake

That shit is 130 proof!

The mares look at you, surprised and worried.

The doctor takes a double take and looks at you in disbelief.

But, in the midst of this, you keep your cool, acting as if you knew this.

"Great. Thanks."

The waitress nods, putting her pen away.

"Good! Your drinks will be out shortly."

With that, she trots off to the bar.

Trixie is still figuring out the controls for the table.

From what you can see, it looks like an automatic table.

It deals out the cards, as well as the flop, turn, and river by itself.

IF it's set correctly.

Trixie grumbles, trying to figure out exactly what she's doing.

And, after a few minutes of irritated noises, she finally figures it out.

A whirring sound is heard underneath the table.

"Okay, Trixie figured it out. Be thankful. Now, we're ready to start."

Octavia starts dealing out stacks of poker chips to everyone.

50 chips each.

Just before the game starts, the drinks arrive.

A bottle of red wine with glasses, a mug of straight cider...

And your bottle of whiskey, with a shotglass.

The waitress leaves without a word, and you're left with your whiskey.

As you open the bottle, you rationalize your decisions.

You lift the bottle and start pouring the shotglass, thinking that you'll need the courage for the games to come.

The mares all gawk at you as you raise the shotglass to your lips, sending the bitter liquid down your throat.

And holy hell it was bitter.

You manage to hide your reaction, thankfully, and once the warmth hits your belly, you look at the mares around the table, a wicked smile on your face.

"All right. Let's go."

And, with that, Trixie pushes the start button.

You hear the whrring of gears beneath the table, and soon, a small cylindrical mechanism pops up in the center of the table.

You raise your eyebrows in interest—technology was a rare thing for you to see.

The metal cylinder quickly dispenses cards to the six of you, giving you two each.

"Oh, here we go~" Octavia mumbles in happiness, glancing at her cards.

Cadance, the doctor, and Trixie all hold their cards up in front of them.

Octavia and Scootaloo, however, merely give them a glance before setting them back down.

You decide that those two are smart, and follow their strategy.

With that, you grab your cards and slide them to you, giving them a peek.

Ace of hearts, king of clubs.

Now, you don't know shit about poker except for the rules themselves, but you could about imagine this is a good hand.

You set them back down, glancing around the table.

Octavia, Cadance, and Trixie have amazing poker faces.

The doctor looks like she's about to vomit.

You look to your right, and Scootaloo is just sitting there, a warm smile on her face like always.

That damn filly doesn't know how cute she is.

After a short pause, Trixie looks at the console.

"Okay, so. It appears as if Cadance has the small blind of one dollar, Scootaloo has the big blind of two dollars, and Anonymous is going first."

Oh, fuck, Blinds.

Does Scoots know what—

Wait she already has two chips out there.

Well, that settles that, then.

Everyone seems a little impressed that Scoots knows what a blind is, but their feelings are quickly lost as they realize the game is going nowhere.

With that, you shrug.

"Eh, I'm in."

Two chips come off of your stack and towards the middle of the table.

Trixie keeps a straight face, sliding in two chips. "Mmhmm."

Octavia does the exact same thing, glancing around. She doesn't say a word.

The doctor shakes her head.

"Eeeh, no, I'll pass. I've seen better cards come out of my colt's Yu-gi-vhatever playset."

And, with that, her cards are shoved to the middle.

Cadance slides in one chip, looking at Cuore with a raised eyebrow. "You have a colt?"

Scootaloo looks interested, and listens to the doctor as she taps her hoof on the table.

With that, Trixie presses a button, and down comes the river.

7C, 9H, JC.

Fuck.

The doctor continues what she was saying.

"Yes, yes, I do. He's living vith his grandmother, in her lake house south of Roama."

With that, attention turns to you.

"I'm checking," you say, tapping your fingers.

"Also, another question—you're married?"

Trixie looks at you with a bit of evil on her eyes, and slides in five chips.

"I'm gonna raise it up a little."

Octavia wastes no time in putting down her cards and ending it then and there.

Cadance follows suit, setting down her cards without a word.

Cuore takes advantage of the pause, and looks at you.

"Married? No, not even close," she says, shaking her head.

Scootaloo slides five chips in in silence, listening to the conversation.

"Oh. Oh, that's right. You told me about that, the night you woke up with me and you were--"

"UPUPUPUPUP! Stop it right zhere, Anonymous!"

The table collectively laughs at her reaction, and you slide in five chips, thinking you still have a chance.

"Whatever you say, Doc."

With that, the machine puts down a river.

2 of clubs.

Egh, crap.

Trixie slides ten chips into the pot.

"I'm gonna raise a bit," she says with an evil grin.

Scootaloo, being next in line, calls, sliding in ten more chips.

You shrug.

Eh, you've gone this far.

You slide in ten chips.

"All right, I guess I call."

With that, the last card comes down.

Ace of clubs.

Well, you have a pair of ace—

WAIT.

Oh!

That's great!

You might actually win this—

"All in!" Trixie yells, shoving her whole stack into the pile.

Well, fuck.

The whole table gives Trixie some surprised looks.

Scootaloo shakes her head.

"No. Nope. Not gonna happen."

You look at your hand.

A flush.

Hmm...

Well, no sense pulling back now.

"Sure, I'll call, you crazy bitch."

Trixie's evil smile doubles in size.

"Well, come on then," Octavia says, looking at the two of you. "Let's see them."

Trixie lays down her cards.

Seven of hearts and the seven of spades.

Three of a kind.

Dooohohoo.

"Beat that, monkey!" Trixie says, acting ridiculously confident.

"Heh, okay," you say, revealing your cards.

She looks irrationally happy for a moment...

Until she sees exactly what you have.

"What?!"

"HAHAHA! All your money is miiiiine!"

She gawks at you as you drag your chips into your pile.

And, in the first damned round, Trixie is out of the picture, and you have 121 chips.

Trixie snorts. "Cheater."