Life's Left Hook

Soon followed by the ear-shattering sound of a cannonball colliding with a marble wall only 10 meters away from where you're sitting.

You almost shit your pants as you hear the marble crackle and crumble.

In a panic, you look down below you at the orchestra.

Everyone, audience members and musicians alike, is fleeing.

All of the officers are in a huddle.

They seem to be detaining one or two of the other cannoneers.

Holy shit.

You look at where the cannonball hit, and see a giant crater where an engraved mosaic used to stand.

"Scoots?"

"H-huh?"

"Come here."

You reach down and pick her up, slinging her over your shoulder.

"What's happening?"

"I have no idea!"

Without thinking, you make your way to and down the flights of stairs, through the panicked crowds, and out the door.

Before you even leave the city block, law officers are showing up with chariots.

You do your best to evade their attention and keep running.

"Anon? What just happened?" Scootaloo asks innocently and fearfully.

The tone of her voice strikes an odd chord, but you don't feel like explaining.

This is partly due to you wanting to keep her innocence, and partly due to you not having a full explanation.

"I-I don't know, Scoots. I don't know. Let's just go back and talk to Cadance. Maybe she knows what's up."

"Why were they shooting at us?!"

"I don't think they were shooting at US, Scoots. I—I just think they—"

"Anonymous!"

You hear someone hollar your name from down the block.

When you look, you see none other than Octavia, her eyes wide and fearful.

"Oh, thank God," you say, setting Scoots down as Octy gallops up to you.

As she reaches you, she takes you in a tight embrace, and you return the favor.

"Miss Octavia? Are you okay?" Scootaloo says, worried.

Octy looks down at the filly, and sighs, a worried look on her face.

"Yes, I'm... Quite all right, physically, anyhow," she says between breaths.

"I'm just... Riled up, is all, and... Confused. What in Equestria happened, Anonymous?"

You give her an exasperated look.

"I don't know, just, that last cannon fire, it sent an actual cannon back hurling up towards our section!"

"Oh, my gosh, you were in the top row?"

"Yeah, we were!"

"But, why? Why did they..."

"Look, Octy, nobody knows. That's why Scoots and I are headed back to the hotel to ask Cadance."

Octavia lets out a very worried sigh.

"This is bad. This is really, really bad."

You let go of Octavia, stand up, and start walking.

"Yes, yes it is, now let's get going.

The three of you make your way back to the hotel.

Around this time, the sun is starting to set.

Thankfully, the streets aren't nearly as active as they were earlier, and you manage to make it back to the hotel without attracting any attention.

The three of you quickly make your way up to your room and knock on the door.

"It's us," you say, hoping Cadance will hear.

You hear some panicked mumbling on the other side of the door.

Seems like the other three are home.

The door swings open, and in the doorway stands Cadance.

"Oh, thank the stars," she says, stepping to the side. "You're all safe."

You walk inside, and after the other two follow you, you close the door behind you.

"I know. We were... Hell, I think about a dozen meters away from getting turned into cannon fodder."

Cadance suddenly stands on her hind legs and brings you into a hug.

"I heard the chaos. I heard people panicking. I heard the cannonball hit, and everything. I tuned in to the radio as fast as I could. I'm so glad you're okay."

You let out a sigh, lightly returning the hug.

"It's... Pretty crazy down there."

"Craziness tends to follow suit after a terrorist attack, Anonymous," Trixie chimes in from the couch.

You let go of Cadance, and she drops to all fours.

"Well, no shit, Sherlock."

The doctor, also on the couch, gives Trixie a glance.

"However, claiming zis vas a terrorist attack is a slight understatement."

"Okay, I'm tired of being confused. Just what the hell is going on?"

Cadance places a hoof on your thigh to get your attention.

"Anonymous? Look, I know that the princess says that everything is fine and dandy. And it's true, for the most part, but recently, some tensions have been rising. Politically. And, well, the Hooviets take pride in their nation, and from what I understand, this was just a patriot's doing."

You think for a moment.

"A patriot's doing?"

"Yes. The officer responsible for he loaded cannon was detained, from what I understand. Keep in mind, I'm getting most of this from the radio."

She gestures across the room, and, like she said, the radio is on.

You can hear Vinyl Scratch's voice in a light panic, as faint as it is across the room.

"But you were there firsthand. What did you see?"

You think, trying to recall the moment.

"Well, it was at the end of this really big overture with cannons, and right on the last chord, one of the cows screamed 'for the Motherland', and next thing I know, one of the walls has a giant hole in it."

"And then?"

"And then he got dogpiled on by all of the other officers, and everyone ran, and it was absolute chaos."

Cadance bites her cheek, a concerned and calculating look on her face.

"Of course. Yes, it's... Definitely a patriot, then. I doubt it's anything more," she says, shaking her head.

"Keep your hedges trimmed, not cut," says the doctor, looking at the Princess. "It may seem unlikely, but if ze Hooviets are actually up to

something, zhey vill no doubt try to disguise it. It's vhat zhey do best, hide things, from their own people. Or people with big noses."

After a snort, the doctor goes back to examining her hoof.

Cadance nods in agreement.

"You have a point. But, still, best not to dwell on... Conspiracy theories."

She shakes her head, and turns back to you.

"Anonymous. The Prince will be here soon. He's requested to speak with you directly."

This takes you by surprise, and you take a double take.

"Wait, me? What? Why?"

Cadance looks down at the floor, and after a pause, says one word.

"Reasons."

In the awkward silence, Scootaloo moves over and finds a perch on one of the armrests of the couch.

"So, word's out, eh?" you say, letting out a sigh.

"I'm afraid so," Cadance says, looking down at the floor again.

"It's only ze talk of ze whole town, Anonymous," says the doctor, who promptly rolls over to take a nap.

Trixie chimes in, equally as worried.

"It's the talk of the whole town. Then the doctor and I went to have a drink, we overheard three conversations that brought you two up as an alleged romantic couple. Those three were in Equestrian, so who knows how much the Prenchies know?"

You throw up your arms in defeat.

"Great. That's just... Fine and dandy."

Cadance nuzzles your leg, grabbing your attention.

"Hun, don't worry so much. You're fine. If anyone's getting flak, it's me."

"I know," you say sternly, looking down at her, "and that's why I'm worried. People are going to get fishy when they find out Shining's disappeared, and I've popped in like an incredibly untimely stiffie to take his place."

"Anon, please. Your arrival was anything but untimely," Octavia says, nuzzling your other leg. "I owe a lot to you, after all you've done."

You reach down to run your fingers through Octavia's mane, and you notice Cadance looking up at you.

"I owe you too, Anon. I'd never have imagined anything like this in a thousand years, but I want you to know we'll be fine. Things are looking better than they have in years, thanks to you."

Trixie hops off of the couch, and starts to trot over.

"I have to agree with these two," she says, coming up behind Octavia. "If it weren't for you, I'd still be..."

It's clear she doesn't want to finish that sentence.

You  take a breath and are about to say something comforting, until you see an orange blob leap from the couch and cling right into your head like a headcrab.

"Don't forget about me!" Scootaloo hollars, climbing on top of your head and sitting down, perched like the most majestic of felines.

Or, galluses, rather.

"Don't worry, Anon," Cadance says, offering a smile. "We'll be fine. Besides, it's not like some gossip is going to hurt anyone."

You can't help but return the smile.

You're surrounded by people who absolutely love you, and in more ways than one.

Not many people have that.

Your chest swells with pride.

"Yeah, I guess you guys are right. We'll be fine."

The five of you stay there in silence for a moment, smiles all around.

Until Cadance does what needs to be done.

"Anonymous?"

"Hmm?"

"Our, erm... Company, is arriving soon."

"Oh."

You look at Octavia, Trixie, and then up at Scootaloo, who is still roosting on your head.

"You three mind going to the pool for a bit?"

"Wait, there's a pool?!" Scootaloo yells, looking down at you.

"There sure is!"

With that, she hops off of your head and trots to the door.

"I'm goin'! You girls goin'?"

Octavia shrugs.

"I suppose. Someone needs to watch Scootaloo. Trixie, are you coming with?"

Trixie nods.

"Of course I am. I won't be in the pool, however."

"Oh, why not? It'll be fun!" Octavia says, trying to convince her.

The three make their way out the door, and it closes behind them before you could respond.

You look at the couch, and the previously napping doctor is nowhere to be seen.

All that's left is you and Cadance.

"So."

She looks up at you.

"Yes?"

"How long do we have until he gets here?"

Cadance takes a moment to think.

"I'm guessing a half an hour, since you're home early after... That."

"Makes sense."

"I wonder what I can do in a half an hour."

"What can you do?"

"That's the question."

Cadance gives you an overblown seductive look.

"I know what you could do."

You put on your best sexyface, wiggling your eyebrows and slide your hand down her foreleg.

"Oh? And what's that?"

"I'll give you a hint."

Cadance starts pacing around you, some swing in her hips as she steps.

"It's... Hard."

She flicks her tail, brushing it against one of your legs.

"It's... Long."

You watch her as she circles around your legs.

"Hard and long?"

"Yes. And it takes two people to play."

"Hmmm..."

Cadance stops, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes.

"Oh. And it's wood. And it involves... A queen, who is no doubt better than anyone else, with her husband and her toys..."

You smile devilishly at Cadance.

"I got it."

She returns that evil smile, letting out a light hum.

"You game?"

"When aren't I?"

Cadance giggles a bit, and nods.

"Though, this isn't something we've done before."

"Sadly. Did you bring the chessboard?"

"No, but I can get one at the front desk."

"Then nah. No sense going down there and risk being late."

"Good point."

With that, you both share a laugh, and you plop down on the couch.

Cadance does so, as well, sitting next to you.

"I was actually thinking a nap."

"A nap sounds nice, actually. Mind if I use you as a pillow?"

"Not at all."

You rest back against the couch, and Cadance curls up beside you.

Her head rests on your lap, and you reach down to pet her mane and skritch behind her ears.

She lets out a hum of satisfaction at your fingers, and closes her eyes.

You close your eyes, as well, and take a snooze.

Some time later, you feel Cadance shaking your shoulder.

"Wake up, hun. They're almost here."

You grumble, sitting up.

Cadance hops off of the couch.

"Make sure you look nice. It's royalty, after all."

You stretch your back and your legs, and several of your joints pop.

"So they're meeting us here? In our hotel room?"

"That's right."

That fact seems a little peculiar to you.

"Isn't meeting in a hotel room a bit informal?"

Cadance nods.

"It is. But this meeting is short notice, and we don't have much time."

"Good point."

You make sure your tie is straight, and you brush off Cadance's bright pink fur.

Well, most of it, anyhow.

"Hey, sweetheart?"

"Mmmm, yes?"

"Do you have a lintroller? I think the Prince might laugh at me if he sees pink fur on my legs."

Cadance blushes a little, and nods.

"You're right. Let me go get my lint roller."

She trots back into her room, and a moment later, comes out with a heavily used pink lint roller.

Wait, that isn't pink. It's white.

That's just her fur.

Eugh.

Regardless, you grab it, thank Cadance, and rip off the heavily used paper.

You start brushing off your legs and your jacket—wherever you see fur, fuzz, or other things.

And, just in time, it seems.

There's a very loud knock on the door.