Life's Left Hook

You set the lint roller aside, stand up straight, and wait for Cadance to answer the door.

You figure you're in no position to.

A moment later, Cadance comes back out of the bedroom, after a quick brush.

Her hair bounces as she trots to the door and turns the knob.

As the door swings open, the first thing you see is...

Fabulous.

A tall, slender stallion, prim, proper, and pristine, stands tall.

He's taller than Cadance, reaching the heights of your nipples.

He has a light faded blue coat, and a dark blue dress suit, with golden buttons and white cuffs.

On  his neck is a pendant, with the famous symbol of the two alicorns touching horns.

Behind him are two white armored guards.

They seem quite a bit shorter, and a lot bulkier.

Perhaps these are normal earth ponies with the EQAF.

"My. It's been quite some time, Princess, has it not?" the prince says, cocking an eyebrow with a smile.

It's interesting to note that his accent, although apparent, is surprisingly light.

He's  easy to understand, even if his accents are off every now and again.

"Indeed it has!" Cadance exclaims, nodding.

"Come in, come in. Please. Make yourself at home."

The two guards and the prince all trot in, and one of the guards closes the door behind him. One of them stays by the door, and the other trots across the room.

Once they reach their positions, they both stand strong and stoic.

It's fairly intimidating, actually.

But any intimidation is lost when you see the prince look up at you with a smile.

"Oh, my, you are a tall one, are you not?" he says, looking up at you.

You nod, and put on your formal face.

Hopefully you can speak in a more dignified manner around this guy.

Maybe you can impress him.

"Yes, I am. Believe me. Doorways in most other places give me painful reminders."

The prince laughs a little, nodding.

"I would assume so, Prince Anonymous! One of your stature would have trouble in nations other than Prance."

Wait, did he just..?

"My my. Where ever did Cadance find you? You look astounding."

"Oh. Thank you!" you say, trying to be polite and formal.

"I never was in favor of inter-special relationships, myself, but I might just be willing to make an exception for you two."

That's a little creepy.

The prince sits down on a nearby chair, his posture still impeccable.

"So. Princess Cadance," he says formally, "Shall we get down to business?"

"Please."

The prince nods, reaching into his vest and pulling out some documents.

"These are what I'm here for. They're documents, describing the defense pact between our nations."

He sets them on the table and slides them over.

"I trust you know most of the major details already, but I wanted to give you the actual fine print. Formalities, and all."

Cadance nods. "Yes, yes, formalities. Right. It's appreciated.'

"We have more important things to talk about," the prince says, his tone darkening a tad.

You take a seat next to Cadance on the couch, glancing at the documents.

"Yes, yes we do," Cadance says, flipping through the documents before setting them down. "What first?"

"Well. Let's get the bad news out of the way, shall we?" he says, trying to sound a little hopeful.

"I suppose. What's first?"

The prince looks at you.

"Anonymous. Do I or do I not recall correctly saying that you were at the orchestra's concert earlier this evening?"

"That's right. I was in the top rows, watching one of my marefriends."

Oh shit, you just said that.

His hopeful look falters.

"I'm... I'm sorry, could you say that again? I don't think you're polygamous, are you, Anonymous?"

"Uh..."

You think of something to save your ass.

Thankfully you don't have to.

"No, no, he doesn't mean it that way," Cadance says, butting in.

"My apologies, Prince. He's still relatively new to our culture, and namely, our... Terms. Octavia and Anonymous are truly the best of friends."

Holy shit, Cadance is quick on her hooftips.

The prince nods, understanding and laughing a little.

"Ooooh! Oh, I see. Yes, I see now! The cellist! That's right! Next time you see her, tell her I'm quite fond of her work. And, should she be so willing, I may want to have a visit with her, about a certain commission I was planning. Pardon me being so forward, but if there's one thing I adore more than her music, it's her contours."

Contours?

It takes an extreme amount of willpower to keep a straight face and NOT smack this guy.

Cadance stifles a giggle, all the while.

"You had me worried for a minute there. But we're getting off track."

He turns to you again.

"The concert tonight. If you remember, would you mind explaining to me exactly what happened?"

You regain your internal composure after that little slip, and you nod.

"Of course. They were playing the Overture of 1812

"—a wildly overrated piece—"

"...The cannons came in at the end. The very last shot was loaded with an actual cannonball, and blew a hole through the auditorium."

"Yes, that much is obvious. What did you see on stage? Was this a coordinated effort?"

You shake your head.

"The two rogue cannoneers were detained by the other fourteen. I didn't get a good sight of this, since I was running, but I did see it."

You leave out mentioning Scootaloo for now.

The last thing you want this prick to think is that you two have a kid.

"It was likely just a lone rebel, or a strong patriot with impaired judgement," Cadance says, putting in her two bits.

The prince nods, contemplating.

"Hm. I see. Although that seems likely, I wouldn't doubt this to be planned by someone higher up. It IS Moosiya, after all."

"Of course."

The prince clears his throat, and continues. "With that out of the way, let's look at the bigger picture. Officer, if you would, please? The map?"

"Which map, your Highness?" the guard says in a low, manly voice.

The prince looks indecisive for a moment, but comes to a conclusion.

"Mmm, give me the one of the Central Plains, as well as the one of the Southern Shelf."

"Of course."

The guard reaches into his saddlebags, which are relatively small and difficult to notice beneath his clothing.

Out he pulls two scrolls, and he hands them to the prince.

"My appreciation, amigo. Now, Cadance. I'm certain you know of the Hooviet Union, as well as their allies. I won't bother to explain."

Cadance raises a hoof.

"Ahem. I am well aware of the situation and the threats the Hooviets pose. However, Anonymous here has but a clue."

The prince looks at you with worry.

"Oh. Oh my. I suppose he's new to this business, isn't he?"

"He is," Cadance says with a nod.

"Well then, Prince. Do tell; how much do you know of this? I'd want to explain."

You think for a moment.

Well, you know there are tensions.

You don't know why, though.

And you know that they exist.

You don't know a damned thing other than that.

So, you offer the prince a shrug.

"Well, to be blunt, I know hardly anything, spare the fact that they exist and that there are tensions for reasons unknown."

The prince gives you an absolutely flat look, blinking a few times as he seems to try to comprehend your obliviousness.

"Very well then," he says finally, "I suppose I can start by telling you the basics."

"Please."

"Okay then. The basics. The Hooviets have a different structure than Equestria. They drive most all of their citizens to labor, and on slave wages. They also view our society as inferior and underdeveloped. This, combined with the fact that they have the largest, strongest, and most advanced army in the world, poses a great threat to Greater Equestria. And the fact that they have allies makes it worse tenfold."

With that, he spreads out a map.

"Here is a color-coated map, depicting our Central Plains. Pardon the quality, it was made on extremely short notice by a stallion with a printer, some markers, and a lamination device. Everything red has a strong alliance with the Hooviet Union. The countries that are orange are vassals, protectorates, satellites, or other things. In contrast, you see more Equestrian societies in light blue, and Equestria itself is light green. Now. I know one thing for certain; we could destroy the Moosiyans, if it were just us and them, due to our superior tactics and divine superiority. However, this is not nearly the case. With the Ibex Empire on our doors, the already hostile Griffin Kingdoms posing a thread, and the multiple sattelites they have in the Central Plains and around the globe, they're nothing short of dwarfing us. I also got some valuable intelligence, thanks to an inside ear, that they're recruiting Brandia into their ranks. If that happens, we'll be at least quintupled in size and forces. That can't happen. Princess, this is where I want you to come in."

He takes out the other map, sliding it across the table.

"This is of the Southern Shelf—more local to the Crystal Empire, which is the blue on the south end. Already, there are strong ties between the Hooviets and two or three of your bordering countries. Although de facto, alliances will most likely form unless action is taken. Another thing, Cervidas is pleading neutrality. I know you can change that. You have a way with words, Princess."

"Thank you."

"But, that's for you to decide. Right now, let's focus on us. I'm willing to pass an agreement right now. Should one of us be called, the other will follow, regardless of circumstance. We will also share any intelligence, be it technological, statistical, or otherwise important. Our borders and minds are open to eachother, and to Greater Equestria, but no other."

Cadance doesn't hesitate to respond.

"Of course I accept. I understand Celestia has signed a similar contract?"

The prince hilts his head, letting out a sigh.

"We've proposed the same contract. However, she refused."

"Wait, what?"

Cadance seems taken by surprise.

"Celestia herself said that the proposition was too... Bold, I believe her word was. We're revising it to fit the Celestial Princess as we speak."

"Oh. I see," Cadance says, nodding.

You can tell that was a white lie.

"Anything else, Prince, or are we done?"

The prince nods.

"As far as I'm concerned, we've discussed all we've needed to. All that's left to do is your business."

"Very well then. It's been a pleasant chat," Cadance notes, standing up.

The prince stands up as well, straightening his jacket.

"The feelings are mutual. You two have a good night. And be sure to inform Octavia I wish to speak with her in the future, be it near or distant."

Asshole.

You keep back your insults, and instead say a simple goodbye.

"Farewell," you say, trying to keep your tone under control.

"To you as well, Anonymous," he responds as he trots out the door.

The guards follow him close behind.

Just before the door closes, however, he takes an awkward step to turn around, and you get a glimpse at his plot.

And, more notably, his mark.

It's  a golden 2D fleur de lys.

Complete with little cutiemark.

Just after you catch your glimpse, the door slams shut.

"Oh, oh wow! Are you kidding me? Are you fucking, She has to be joking! She has to!"