Alright, so a little later that day I left the house and went down to the lake to hang out with Gaz. We were throwing rocks at ducks, because ducks are jerks and it’s the only thing to do in town.

But then I just get really mad and I’m like “This is stupid! I can’t just spend the whole day throwing rocks at ducks!”

Then Pacho tells me something so freaky messed up. “You know, it could be worse. I heard over in Ponyville there was this hobo pit behind the clothes shop that got filled in with dirt. And the hobos are still in that pit to this day.”

It’s things like this that make me stop and think about what I’m doing with my life.

“Yo man, that’s whack. That’s like how I really want to hit on this cute chick I met on the bus but the problem is she lives near the bus route which means she’s near Ponyville.”

He agreed with me that it was the most stupid thing ever and we both got really mad. That’s why we’re amigos, he’s cool. Just like the soup he serves.

“You know, you should find out where she lives. Girls dig that thing.”

I read a book that taught me how to tell if a pony lies by looking at their beard. That same book taught me all I needed to know about fighting ghosts/aliens. So I look at him and particularly notice his beard. He is not lying.

“Oh man, how in the hay am I going to find out where she lives?”

“I dunno, but you sure can’t go to the library! That nerd’s still living there, and there’s no way we can get her out. Like, we could pelt her with eggs but I don’t think we can get our hands on any since that time we got banned from the marketplace for harassing the chickens.”

Long story short, this chicken was giving me the evil eye and another one winked at me and I just started flipping out and overturned an orange cart. But if they didn’t want that to happen they didn’t need to let chickens hang around in the open.

“We need to find out who knows this racist yellow pegasus.”

Author's Note

If you'd like to know how to detect lies by looking at people's beards, you should also see if the widely acclaimed book Ghosts/Aliens is at your local library!