"We are not punished for our sins, but by them."

— Elbert Hubbard

Steam drifted lazily toward the ceiling, mixing with the soft glow of the room’s light. I sunk further into the soaker tub, letting the heat work its way into my aching muscles. At first, I was worried about how slowly the water was filling, but when I got in, I noticed a slight current. There was a tiny grate hidden off to the side, gently pulling in everything it could, from loose hairs to the dried blood that was uncrusting from my hands as well as my cut. I bet that makes it easier for ponies who have to deal with fur.

Smart design, I guess.

I was as squeaky clean as I could get using the lavender shampoo and the lavender soap bar and the lavender-colored Luffas and the lavender "coat-wash". Thanks to that and a few other things, it didn’t take as long to scrub myself clean as I thought it would. But I didn't think I was quite ready to leave.

Not yet, so I had to try topping up the Jacuzzi/Bath with hot water and just sat there thinking. As it was filling up once more, I saw a basket holding fist-sized "tea-bags" labeled "Lavender Luxury: For Lavender Ladies".

I'm starting to sense a lavender-theme in Twilight's castle.

Never messed with "bath teas" before, but after this morning I think I deserve to feel a little..."fancy", so I nabbed one. Sure enough, it started fizzing after I dropped it in, coating the water in a mist of purple bubbles and tinting the bathwater a soft purple. Should I have dropped it in before I got in?

Nah...don't worry about that.

Just... float. Be a jellyfish. Majestic, brainless, and smooth. Just vibing in the ripples.

I let my arms drift weightlessly in the water, the quiet hum of the room and the faint sound of the faucet surrounding me. Skimming my fingers along the surface, I watched the ripples spread, slowly. I exhaled a long, deep breath, trying to loosen the tension still coiled in my muscles.

...

"Try to relax." she says.

Yeah, like that's happening.

Anywhere else this Jacuzzi-tub would have felt like paradise—luxury I couldn’t even dream of having in my own home. But I can't appreciate that. Not when my mind kept circling back to everything I’d been through these past few days.

Memories of Celestia trying to kebab me gnawed at the back of my head. One minute I felt like I could get a breather, the next I was inches from getting stomped on by Celestia or dealing with Telsona’s venom. Was that bite really as much of a threat? I felt like shit from it, and Celestia knew enough about it to keep asking about it. Hell, she seemed sorry for me. She tried giving me advice about how I should feel about it, but that didn’t stop her from trying to—

She wasn't supposed to be like that. I hate how she looked at me. I hate how I feel around this Celestia. She wasn’t some Saturday morning cartoon villain. She's real... and she hates me.

.
.
.

The worst part?

The “not knowing”.

In the show, everything was wrapped up neatly in thirty minutes, maybe an hour if they wanted to get dramatic. You knew where everyone stood and you had a bird's eye view. But now I can’t even figure out what the real problem is, let alone how to fix it. There’s this massive force looming over me, and I’m stuck guessing. What’s real? What’s not? What’s next?

Nope. Stop thinking about that right now, Brainless Jellyfish. Jellyfish don't have problems. They just float around until they get eaten by a sea turtle. And you know what? They probably don’t care about that cause they don't have a brain. Be the Stoic Jellyfish.

...

...I shut my eyes to try and push it all out, but somehow she keeps weaseling her way back in.

No...Not Celestia right now.

𝑳𝒖𝒏𝒂...

Even with my eyes closed, I still saw her. Her eyes, her voice, her touch. I loved how she made me feel, but I don't know what I'm supposed to feel about her now. Anger? Shame? Hurt? Gratitude? I’ve felt all of those in the past hour alone, not to mention everything over the past couple of days. But mostly... mostly, I’m just exhausted.

I know she saved me. Hell, I’d probably be dead a few times over if it wasn’t for her. But that doesn’t wipe away what she admitted to doing, even if I don't fully understand it yet. Whatever Luna did, it’s got Celestia convinced she’s cursed now.

Sure, being Luna's so-called “Royal Consort” stopped her from trying to skewer me, but Luna was the one that put me in that spot to begin with. And from the way everyone reacted? Luna crossed some serious lines. Not just with me. Twilight, Celestia, Trixie—

I winced at her name.

Damn it.

I shook the thought away.

Focus. Back to Luna.

Whatever she did, it hit everyone hard. I still don’t know why, or what the point of it all was, but... it wasn’t just me she messed with. It’s like the entire room shifted when everyone realized what she’d done, but why did she do it?

She could’ve let Celestia handle me—make me pay for "having hands" or whatever reason she seems to think I deserved to die for. But why was I put in that position to begin with? If the venom wasn’t a problem, why sleep with me in the first place? I’m not... I’m not special.

I’m not some chosen one or some hero from a storybook. I’m just... me. So what the hell was the point of any of it? What did she gain? Why put me in that position?

Maybe I screwed it all up myself. I lied to her first. I told her I fought off a changeling queen and her entire army with a wooden sword. I mean, technically I wasn’t lying, but it wasn’t exactly some epic duel with Telsona like I made it out to be. It was my car and that 「Ｍａｇｉｃ Ｄａｎｃｅ」 they did when “Safety Dance” came on.

I think at the moment, I wanted her to see me as something... more. Is that why she did this? Because I tried to act like some kind of hero, when really I’m just a guy getting by on flukes? Did she see through me? Was all of this her way of testing me? Or worse, punishing me?

What if she thought I actually did everything I said, believed the lie, and then found out it was just me, the Mustang, and some random miracle? They already know about the car—it saved Ponyville—and while it's beaten to hell, I bet they'd have it fixed in no time if they realized what it could do. My keys are still in my still-missing pants...so they don't need me anymore if they still have them.

...Am I still worth keeping around ? What if Celestia’s curse lifts because of it?

Would she let Celestia come back for me?

I dipped my head under the purple bath water to try and drown out the torrent of conflicting emotions swirling inside me. The heat from the water did nothing to soothe the ache in my chest.

I wanted to be mad. I wanted to scream. But I just couldn’t. It'd be quiet since it's underwater, but I couldn’t even manage that.

...

...I still can't get her face out of my head.

Maybe it’s just my dick talking, but even with everything spinning around in my head, I keep coming back to the time we spent together. There was this...this rush when we were with each other—and not just because of the sex. It was the whole thing. The "before" and "after". It was the way she looked at me, like I was something more than I really was, like I mattered to her. Even the few times we actually talked felt... special.

I don't think Luna would let Celestia come for me if they had my car. She kept saying she was my friend. Over and over again. I want to believe her. Damn it, I really do. But a friend wouldn’t do something like that. Right? Not without a good reason. Maybe...Maybe if she told me what she was trying to do, would I go through with it?

My gut instinct is to say "no" out of spite right now, but I don't think I would've done that. Even with what I know and don't know right now. If I'd just known, maybe...

...Does this make me an idiot?

I sat underwater with the current from the water swirling around me along with the thoughts swirling in my mind. I spent too much time trying to put the pieces of what actually happened today back together, but I still ended up with more questions and more missing puzzle pieces... I don't know what to do.

Eventually I had to give up being overdramatic due to my lack of oxygen, so I raised my head above the surface of the water, drawing in a breath just as—

"Hiiiiii..."

"BWHAAAAA!" I jolted upright and back against the edge of the tub, my heart racing as water sloshed over the sides. The sudden voice cut through my thoughts, sending a surge of panic through me. My gaze snapped toward the door, and there stood two figures just beyond the doorway: a tall, white stallion with a blue mane, more dressed than I am with a royal cuff around his neck. Beside him, a pink Alicorn wearing a golden collar-necklace thing, a crown, and a presence that somehow made the lavender-laden bathroom feel even more perfumed. "...Oh my god...Will you ponies stop it with the FRICKIN Jump-scares already?" I wheezed out, trying to catch my breath.

They blinked at me, wide-eyed, but clearly trying not to look as awkward as I felt.

Shining Armor held up his hoof in a placating manner. "Sorry. We didn’t mean to startle you," Shining Armor said quickly, taking a tentative step into the room. "We knocked, but, uh... you didn't answer."

"I was underwater... washing my hair," I managed to say, even though my heart was still racing. "I didn't hear you." I shifted awkwardly in the water, my mind swirling with everything that had been gnawing at me just moments ago. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting any visitors."

"It’s alright," Cadance added softly, her eyes full of gentle concern. "We thought it might be good to check on you and introduce ourselves properly. Is... now a bad time?"

I subtly sank lower into the water, feeling a chill run down my spine despite the warmth of the water and the burn my cheeks felt. "I'm naked."

They both looked confused for a second before Shining seemed to remember something as he turned to Cadance. "Oh yeah, the "clothes" thing." He turned back to me with a sheepish grin. "Sorry about that. We don't really wear clothes unless it is like a wedding or a party. If it makes you feel better, we can't see anything under in the bubbles or the water. Uh... the beard's a nice touch, though." He pointed at me, holding back a chuckle.

I blinked and looked down. Sure enough, the purple foam of bubbles had gathered around my chin, forming a foam beard that looked straight out of a historical painting. Great.

"Seriously?" I muttered, rubbing a hand over my face to scrub away the bubbles and embarrassment.

“We’ve got a little time while Twilee’s preoccupied, but she’s probably gonna wanna check on you too,” Shining said. “Do you mind if we hang out here for a bit? We want to start over, you know, try to give each other a better 'First Impression'.”

"You’re kidding, right?" I stared at them. "Meeting me in the bathtub ain't much of a first impression either."

Cadance laughed lightly. "He’s not wrong, Shiny," she said, nudging her husband with her wing. "But honestly, we didn’t mean to intrude. We just wanted to see how you were doing. If this isn’t a good time..."

I sighed. It still felt strange—invasive, even—but their lack of concern over my nudity was strangely disarming. I wasn’t sure if that was a cultural thing, or just them being... well, ponies. At least they didn’t seem like they were here to make things worse.

...It might do some good to talk anyway. I still wasn't sure if I should even trust them, but I know I want to.

“Nah, it’s fine,” I muttered. “‘me-time’ is overrated.” I gestured toward the shower bench along the wall. “Go ahead, make yourselves at home.”

I felt my shoulders relax a little as the two ponies crossed the threshold into the bathroom, Shining Armor shutting the door behind him as they entered. They didn't sit and instead elected to stand. Both of them were clearly trying to remain casual about the situation. True to their word, they didn't seem to care too much about the awkwardness of me being in the tub. Meanwhile, I was still struggling to push down the embarrassment gnawing at the edges of my mind. Definitely still a culture shock, even with the fanfictions talking about situations like this in the back of my mind.

"Thanks. You're really doing us a favor, you know." Shining said,

Cadance shook her head and sighed. "Agreed, they're still talking in the other room, but it was getting heavy in there, so we had to leave a bit early to clear our heads." Cadance continued. "Sooooo, we figured the Hoo-man could use some company too, so we can chat."

“Human,” I corrected instinctively. I mean, at this point I expected it, but it’d be nice to nip it in the bud.

"What?" Both of them asked, tilting their heads in confusion.

"It's pronounced Human."

"He-yeo, man?" Cadance tried saying, drawing out the sound like she was trying to relate to the youth on the streets.

"Human."

"You-man?" Shining asked again, with a confused look on his face. That one felt way too intentional to be a mistake, but I couldn’t tell.

"Closer, but it's still Human...Huuuuue-man. Heee-you-man." I exaggerated it, hoping they’d get it.

“...Hyu-mun?” Cadance squinted, her voice almost like she was guessing in a game of charades.

You know what? Close enough.

“Yeah, sure, that works,” I said, nodding. Cadance’s face lit up, and I swear she let out one of those little squee sounds like you hear in the show. Shining was grinning too, like they’d just won a prize for pronouncing an alien word.

"I can't believe I'm talking to a real-life alien. It's like in my old comics!" Shining Armor muttered to his wife, his voice dropping in excitement but clearly trying to maintain composure. They both turned back to me for a brief moment, their eyes bubbling over with curiosity before turning back to each other.

"We didn't practice for this," Shining added, his voice lowering as if it were a secret.

"Don’t worry, hun. It’s just like when you introduced yourself to the Crystal Ponies," Cadance reassured him with a soft, affectionate smile. She stepped closer, her hooves tapping lightly on the bathroom tiles. There was a kind of grace in how she moved, like every step was part of a dance she’d rehearsed a thousand times. Stopping just in front of me, she lowered her head into a polite bow, her mane cascading down in a way that looked so... effortless. She was like a Disney princess brought to life.

“Alright, Mr. Hyu-man,” she said with a playful grin. “My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire. I knoooow it’s a mouthful, so just call me Cadance." Her tone was formal but warm, and her smile never wavered, even as she straightened from her bow. She then leaned over to nuzzle Shining’s cheek with a tenderness that made me feel like I was the one intruding on them and their personal time. Their tails intertwined behind them, almost like it was instinct.

I saw Shining Armor visibly stiffen under the nuzzle. His cheeks turned bright pink under his white coat, and it was impossible not to notice.

“And this is the stallion of my dre—"Cadance noticed too, and her eyes sparkled with that mischievous kind of affection."Awww, you’re blushing again! Just like back then tooooo.” She gave him a harder nuzzle, her eyes twinkling as she leaned into it. “Look at hiiiiim. Isn’t he just the cutest?” Cadance gushed.

She was clearly enjoying this a little too much. The coo in her voice was so playful, but there was no mistaking that she was having the time of her life embarrassing him. And as for Shining? He just stood there, stiff as a board, his face practically glowing at this point. It was... hard not to laugh.

"STOoooOOP! You didn't say you were gonna do that again~!" Shining Armor whined, his voice half-serious, half-pleading, but that smile of his was growing, betraying him. As embarrassed as he was, I could see how much he was into it. And, of course, he eventually caved, nuzzling her back with a lot more sincerity.

"But you make it so hard to resist!" Cadance’s laugh was light and warm as she finally pulled back from him, though their tails stayed intertwined like they were still holding hands or something. She flashed me a conspiratorial wink, clearly enjoying herself. “He’s normally really good at keeping a straight face, so this is a big win for me,” she said, like she was letting me in on some secret joke.

Shining, now resigned to his fate, leaned his head against hers with an exaggerated sigh. “Babe, I’m filing for divorce,” he deadpanned, though there was no hiding the tenderness in his voice.

"You aren't getting rid of me that easily. Have you seen how thick that form can be? We got better things to spend our time doing than filling out that novel," Cadance retorted, her voice sweet, but she had that little grin on her face. The one that told you that she had something up her sleeve, but she wasn’t gonna give it away. "Besides, I'd get half your things."

"You're a princess." Shining shot back, raising an eyebrow. "What, you wanna take half of my nothing while I get half the Crystal castle?"

“Nooo~ I’d take your O&O Minis. Remind me again how much you spent on that King Timberwolf commission?” Cadance batted her eyelashes dramatically, watching Shining squirm at the idea.

“You’ve got me by the tail,” Shining muttered, his grin growing as the two fell deeper into their banter, momentarily forgetting I was even there. “Guess I’ve got no choice but to let you be my ball and chain, but one of these days I swear!”

“One of these days? Shiny, you couldn’t survive a week without me,” Cadance giggled, giving him a playful nudge.

“Situation’s mutual. We both know how long your heat lasts,” Shining shot back with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

In a perfectly executed stratagem, the tables turned as now whatever blush Shining Armor wore had somehow copied itself and made it's way onto Cadance's cheeks.

"~STOoooOOP!" Cadance hissed through gritted teeth, her cheeks burning under her light pink coat. Shining Armor's face split into a smug grin, and he nuzzled her back. She grumbled at him, but the affection in her voice was undeniable as she reciprocated once more.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. Even though they were husband and wife, they radiated 'High school Sweetheart' energy. Like they never got out of that lovey-dovey phase. Watching them made it hard to believe these were the same royals who’d been part of that insane meeting not long ago. They were just so... normal. It almost made me forget about the whirlwind of chaos I’d been thrown into. It was nice to see ponies acting like they did on the show.

They nuzzled for a bit long before I saw their tails lift up and... pat Shining Armor's flank?

Shining seemed to snap out of the lovey-dovey display before clearing his throat with an even redder face. "...So, I'm Shining Armor. I'm your-...A Prince—Of the Crystal Empire!" Shining Armor seemingly corrected. He seems less 'Destroy the Xeno' like he was earlier and more like a nervous ambassador for the Equestrian race now. "I got my start as a Royal Guard and made it all the way to Captain. That...well that changed when we tied the knot ." Shining Armor smiled fondly. "I know I'm not wearing a crown, but we're both Equestrian Royalty, like Luna, Celestia, Blueblood, and Twilee..." Shining Armor finished before pausing. "Oh yeah! I think you already met her. We call her "Twilee", but her real name is Twilight Sparkle. She's my little sister."

“Yeah, I know about Twilight. She’s been taking good care of me. At least I’m not dead yet.” The words slipped out, and my stomach twisted into a knot as soon as they did.

Twilight’s name was like a trigger, and suddenly it all rushed back, hitting me like a tidal wave. I couldn’t stop seeing it—Twilight, standing between me and Celestia’s halberd. That look in her eyes. The fear, the shock. How close I’d come to being skewered, right then and there. I could still feel the panic clawing at my chest. If Twilight hadn’t done what she did and stepped in... I’d be dead. No question about it.

But then there was Luna... I couldn’t forget what she did to me. She’d used me.

I feel like a tool, but... she saved me, too, in a way. Maybe not directly, but it was enough to make everyone else jump in. Even Cadance, Shining Armor, Twilight, Trixie—they all tried. They tried because she made sure everyone saw just how weak I was...

Cadance’s voice broke through the haze of memories with the tact of an obsidian scalpel. "Yeaaaah... Twilight always does her best to make sure her friends are doing okay." She said gently. "I wish she'd focus on herself more, but I'm glad she’s looking out for you."

I forced a small smile. "Yeah. Me too." I felt a lump form in my throat. It was hard to look at Cadance and Shining Armor without their faces from earlier flashing back in my mind.

Silence hung in the air for a moment, thick with everything that wasn’t being said. Shining Armor shifted awkwardly, like he wanted to speak but couldn’t quite find the right words. Guess it was my turn to break the ice.

“It’s good to meet you. I’m Edgar... Luna’s Royal Consort, I guess.” The words came out before I could think, low and flat. The title felt weird on my tongue, like I was trying on clothes that didn’t fit. It didn’t feel right to say it, didn’t feel like it was mine.

Shining Armor’s ears flicked when I said it, but he didn’t let his expression slip. Even Cadance’s eyebrow twitched, and her ear flicked like she was holding back something, but her face stayed soft, her eyes full of concern as she looked at me.

"...About that,” Cadance began carefully. “You’ve been through a lot, more than most ponies go through in such a short time. I understand if you’ve got a lot of questions, and honestly, we do too." She leaned in a little, her tone soft but serious. "But first things first: How are you holding up?"

The soft yet loaded question hung in the air, pressing against me as I looked back at the two royals.

"How was I holding up?" That was an unfair question. I’m sitting in an oversized bathtub in front of two ponies who had front-row seats to my near-death experience. What could I even tell them? That I spent the last fifteen minutes trying to become a brainless jellyfish to avoid dealing with reality?

I ran a hand over my face, wiping off the foam that was lingering, and let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“I’m... managing,” I muttered slowly. I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a long breath. "Honestly? I’m still trying to figure all this out." I shifted in the tub, the warmth doing nothing to calm the tension inside me. "It’s been a stressful few days. I’m in Equestria, and every day something’s either tried to kill me or..." I trailed off, realizing I was about to overshare. I bit my tongue and shook my head. "Never mind. Sorry, I’m still a bit scrambled from everything that happened. Shouldn't force you to be my therapist."

"It’s okay," Cadance said gently. "I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you—being thrown into a world you don’t know, dealing with everything that’s happened. It’s a lot, but I’m glad you’re still here. You’ve been through more than most ponies could handle."

There was something in her voice, a kind of warmth that I hadn’t expected. She wasn’t just being polite—she genuinely sounded like she cared.

I offered a small, half-hearted smile. "Yeah. Still here, somehow." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “Being a Royal Consort... it’s a lot to take in, you know? I guess Luna’s got a funny way of showing she cares.”

Cadance's eyes closed as her ears and eyebrows twitched in annoyance.

“There are thousands of ways to show somepony you care about them,” Cadance said, her voice calm but firm. “But what Luna did... that wasn’t one of them. She shouldn’t have put you through that, even if she thought it was for your protection.” Her gaze softened as she shook her head. “If you ever need to talk or have questions... Shining and I are here. We’re here to listen.”

She glanced at Shining, who nodded in agreement, his eyes serious.

Well, I guess they are offering to be my therapists...Wait a minute. I've heard this song and dance before.

In fact, it happened every single time Celestia tried questioning me right before she goes cuckoo.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I tried to smile, but it felt thin, like something I was forcing for their sake. My insides still felt twisted, no amount of polite conversation was going to untangle that. “But I’m guessing you didn’t come all the way down here just to see how I’m doing, right? Especially after what happened earlier.”

Shining Armor blinked, surprised by the bluntness. He shot a quick glance at Cadance, like he was looking for backup. She held his gaze for a second, caught off guard too, but instead of backing down, she met my eyes with this steady determination. Soon, they both nodded.

I sighed inwardly. Figures.

"Alright," I said slowly, leaning back in the tub, "so what’s the real reason you're here? What do you need from me?" I asked, my voice calm but steady. I wasn’t pissed off, more... curious. If they wanted to hurt me, they would’ve done it by now. Instead, they just stood there, kind of awkward, but with what seemed like good intentions. Still, the unease gnawed at me. They weren’t bringing up the elephants in the room. If they weren’t here for that, then what were they here for?

“We’ll try to explain,” Cadance started, her voice gentle. “We want to help make things better, but please understand that we’re trying to make sense of all this too.” She hesitated, glancing at Shining for backup. “What my Aunt Celestia did... I’ve never seen her like that before.”

I raised an eyebrow. "You mean the part where she tried to skewer me with a halberd? Or the part where she looked like she wanted to burn me alive?"

Shining winced, and even Cadance’s expression tightened for a second. It was clear they were both uncomfortable talking about it, but they didn’t shy away.

"Yes," Cadance admitted. "That wasn’t the Celestia we know."

“We’re confused and conflicted,” Shining admitted, frowning like he was wrestling with his own thoughts. “Celestia’s doesn’t just… lash out like that. Especially not without a good reason. So, for her to come after you like that...” He paused, clearly picking his words carefully. “For her to try and end you... it’s not something we can just ignore. We think we know why she did it, and from what we understand, she thinks Equestria is in danger because of you and that touch of yours.”

Touch. The way he said that, like I was carrying around some kind of contagious disease, rubbed me the wrong way.

“But we haven’t seen any proof that you’ve actually done anything wrong,” Shining Armor said, his voice quieter now, like he was working through it himself, trying to make sense of the situation. His brow furrowed in thought, and I could see him searching for some kind of logic that wasn’t there—like maybe if he said it enough times, everything would start to click into place.

I raised an eyebrow, not even trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice. “Didn’t you and your guards draw swords on me?”

"Yes," Shining Armor answered matter-of-factly.

"...That's it?" I asked incredulously.

"Mhmmm." He nodded again, like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Look, at the time, you were an unknown entity, and we were told by Princess Celestia that Princess Luna might have been in serious danger. We didn't know what to expect when we rushed over to your room, but we weren't expecting to walk into that. So, yeah, I did order everypony to draw their swords. When Celestia came in with her halberd, we all did our best to get that door open and stop her too. Our guards did everything they were supposed to do, but you and me? We're cool now."

"Until Celestia changes her mind and orders you to kill me, right?" I asked them. I'm really starting to regret having them come in here...

"We wouldn't, and you don't have to worry about Princess Celestia, okay?" Cadance jumped in quickly to try and reassure me. "We respect Aunt Celestia enough to say no when we have to. Princess Celestia taught us a lot of things, including how to think for ourselves. If she’s wrong, we’re not going to follow through just because she says so."

“Even if she could order ponies to do that now or ask myself or Cadance to hurt you,” Shining added, “We’d need a lot more than words to justify it. Without naming names, my wife and I had some reservations about what a few of the ponies in that room did, so it's going to be a touchy subject for a while."

"All because of a little bite mark and a last minute OK you got from Luna, right?" I let out a small, humorless laugh. "That's comforting."

Shining shook his head, discomfort flickering across his face as he fidgeted where he stood. Cadance, however, remained focused, her expression soft but intent.

“Edgar, I’m not asking you to understand right now. Just... listen.” Her voice was steady. “Celestia doesn’t do this. She’s always been level-headed, even in the worst situations, and especially not toward someone who hasn’t done anything—at least, not that we can see. But... there’s something else.” She exchanged a glance with Shining Armor, who nodded grimly. “You’re not the first human who’s made it here to Equestria.”

“Wait, what?" The words hit me like a bucket of cold water. I blinked at her, the tension that had started to creep into my muscles freezing in place as I struggled to wrap my mind around the idea. “Like, I'm not the only one?”

“It's why Celestia’s so on edge,” Shining explained, his tone careful. “According to the other three Alicorns, you’re not the first human she’s encountered. And based on what both of them said about what happened with the others... they didn’t end well. Let’s just say it left her with more than a few scars.”

“According to the other three—You mean both Twilight and Luna knew?” The words slipped out, sharper than I intended.

"Not until last night." Cadance nodded, her expression sympathetic. “That’s why Celestia's so afraid of you, Edgar. She’s seen what humans can do, and she’s scared of what will happen while you're here. We want to talk this out with you ourselves.”

I let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension coil tighter in my chest. “So, what? You think I’m dangerous too, but you’re just... not sure yet?” I scoffed, the sound bitter as it left my throat. “Sounds like you’re doing recon on me. Like this is just another ‘interrogation.’” I leaned back against the edge of the tub, the weight of their expectations pressing down on me. They’re waiting for an answer I don’t have. I wasn’t sure what to tell them. Everything had been a blur since I got here—one moment I was screwing around before graduation, the next I was getting tangled up in Luna’s... whatever the hell that was.

Cadance’s expression softened even more, but she didn’t deny it. “We’re not here to interrogate you, Edgar. We just want to understand what’s going on—but we need to be sure. From what Twilight said, Celestia’s account of the other humans is... well, it’s the only one we have.”

Shining nodded slowly. "We know it’s unfair, but we’ve got to be cautious.”

I ran a hand over my face, wiping off the bubbles that clung to my skin. It felt like I was under a microscope.

“I... I don’t know what you want me to say,” I admitted, feeling drained. “I haven’t done anything. I’ve been tossed around like a ragdoll for the past few days, and I’m still trying to figure out what the hell is even happening.”

Shining Armor frowned, clearly dissatisfied with my answer, but Cadance seemed more patient.

"You’re saying you don’t know about your touch?" She asked, her eyes searching mine for any sign of dishonesty. "You've never tried using it to get something you want?"

Her question caught me off guard.

"Touch".

That word again.

Celestia seemed so cautious of it, and she didn't even shake my hand when we had our talk yesterday. She looked at it like I was pointing a gun at her, and she looked so terrified for Luna when she saw is in bed together...so furious... She even suggested it was the only reason that Twilight wanted to save me in the first place.

And now they're asking about it.

"What can I say? Celestia made it clear that if I 'touched' anyone, she’d know." I said, a hint of frustration creeping into my voice. "Did you know she held a molten pot of tea over my head, saying that if I touched her that her magic would fail and it'd fall on me? That was yesterday." I finished, my jaw clenching as the memory replayed in my mind. The ponies seemed taken aback for a moment before Cadance shook her head, her expression sympathetic. "Last night, Luna said that Celestia said touching ponies was a-okay now since she told me sex was the only way to take care of the changeling bite, but guess how I found out that was a lie this morning. Now you're in here talking like my hands are a weapon." I was practically spitting out the words. “What is it about my "touch" that’s got you all so freaked out?"

Shining Armor and Cadance exchanged a glance, one that spoke volumes despite it's subtlety. It was like they were trying to figure out how to explain something huge to me without freaking me out. Cadance shifted slightly, her wings rustling as she moved closer. "Twilight told us some things about it earlier...and my aunts confirmed it. Both of them." she began carefully, as if she were handling a fragile object. "According to Celestia, whenever you make contact with somepony, it has an effect on them—an effect that's hard for them to notice at first. From what we know, it could potentially make ponies... feel things. Strong things."

"Feel things how? What kind of 'things' are we talking about?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around it. "How long did Twilight know about all of this?"

Cadance came to the defense of Twilight once more.

"Again, not since last night." She said softly. "Twilight doesn't have many details right now, but from what we know, it could range from heightened emotions to, well, more personal feelings. It’s something that might not be intentional, but the longer you’re in contact with somepony, the more intense it becomes."

"Cadance wanted to talk with you the moment she put two and two together, but then she heard from Celestia saying that Princess Luna was in danger..." Shining Armor said, his expression grim. "Well, here we are."

I blinked, processing their words, but my brain felt sluggish. "Wait... so you're saying... I’m brainwashing ponies to like me? Like, against their will?"

"That's what they thought might be happening, but no." Cadance winced slightly, shaking her head. "It’s more subtle than that. It’s almost like... their emotions are magnified. If a pony already feels something—like affection or admiration—you make it stronger. And if a pony is vulnerable..." She trailed off.

I stared at her in disbelief.

"...and why are we listening to Celestia about this now?" I yelled. "She wants me dead!"

"Edgar..." Cadance started. Her voice was gentle but firm, trying to bring me back to the present. But I wasn't having any of it.

“No, this is bullshit! I’m not brainwashing anyone! I can’t!” I snapped. My heart was pounding in my chest, a mix of frustration and fear choking me up.

"Edgar," Shining Armor’s voice cut through my anger, firm and steady. "I get that this is a lot to take in, but I have to politely ask that you calm down. You're yelling at my wife." His earlier awkwardness had vanished, replaced by a more authoritative presence. "We're not here to yell at you, and we're not here to jump to any conclusions about this situation. But if we want to understand what's going on here, we're going to have to ask some uncomfortable questions. So... I'm sorry if we seem insensitive, but it's better than being too lenient?" He looked to his wife, and she nodded.

"I'm sorry. It's just..." I paused, taking a deep breath to rein in the storm of emotions that had burst out of me. I realized how I must have looked. Lashing out wasn’t helping anyone, least of all me. “None of this makes sense. I’m not even magical. If anything, I’m magic-repellant. Look, I’ll prove it—just hit me with a magic bolt or something.”

Shining shook his head, his tone softening. "It’s alright, and there’s no need for that. We know you’re immune to magic, but that’s part of the issue. Twilight and Cadance got to talking earlier this morning, and they think your immunity might be what makes your touch so strong."

Cadance nodded gently. “It’s not about you casting spells or intentionally manipulating anypony like a puppet master. It’s more about how your magic-nullifying property interacts with the natural magic inside us. It... distorts things. We ponies are naturally inclined to follow what our hearts desire, and when you touch us, it makes that want louder—harder to ignore."

I shifted uneasily in the tub, the weight of their words sinking in. It all sounded so absurd—my touch influencing others? Amplifying emotions? It felt like something ripped out of a magical romance novel.

"I... I need proof," I said, my voice quieter. "I can’t just take your word or Celestia’s. How do I know it's real?"

Cadance’s eyes softened, but her gaze held firm. “Trixie.”

The name hit me like a punch to the gut.

“...What about her?” I asked, my throat tightening as memories of her flooded back—her confession of love, her crumpled tear-stricken face when she caught Luna and me together. She’d told me she loved me—loved me—after barely knowing me. Before, I thought maybe she was just overly protective of me ever since I scared off the dragon. But after that...

“Think back to the night you two met. Did you notice her becoming clingy?” Cadance’s voice was gentle but steady. “I don't want to get into too much detail yet, but let's just say that I have very good intuition to think something more may have happened that night...between the both of you.”

My stomach clenched. “...but we were both drunk that night,” I muttered, trying to brush off her insinuation. "Even then, We didn't have sex or anything, I swear. We barely even touched, and Trixie fell asleep before anything serious could happen.”

The room fell silent.

"Ummm..." Cadance’s voice faltered, her expression shifting to one of surprise, her eyes widening. "I'm sorry, but what?"

...Fuck, it wasn't just them being coy. How am I supposed to take that back?!?

The silence stretched longer, and I could feel the tension in the room rising, like the steam curling up from the bath. Both Shining Armor and Cadance exchanged glances, but this time, their surprise was palpable. Cadance’s wings twitched slightly, and Shining blinked several times, his mouth opening and closing like he was about to say something but couldn't find the words.

Finally, Shining Armor’s brow furrowed, his face reflecting the same confusion. “Still not trying to interrogate you, but what did happen that night?”

"Nothing extreme." I muttered, avoiding their eyes. "We both wanted to go to sleep after we talked for a long time, but Trixie's bed was pony-sized for one. So we laid down together...with her on top." I explained. "She....She got a little hot and bothered and started rubbing herself on me, but nothing else happened, I swear."

That wasn't true.

"...She did cum on me and I did go to sleep with a boner, but there was nooooo penetration involved. I didn't do anything to her except hug her back. We just... I mean, I hugged her after she was done and we cuddled and fell asleep, sure, but it wasn’t like—"

"...and you didn't try to stop her? Say "no"?" Cadance asked with a raised eyebrow.

"...No. I did, but I didn't try very hard..." I admitted. The memory of that night felt like a blur. “When we woke up and she got pissy because she thought I wet myself from being drunk, I said it was a nightmare because...Well I couldn't just come out and say what she did that night! She'd never live it down if she remembered what happened.” I looked back at both of them, and their expressions shifted to the facial equivalent of a blue-screen. "I'm sorry. It all happened too fast for me and I didn't know what to do. I..."

...I took advantage of a drunken mare...

"...Okay, that's a lot to unpack, but we can come back to it later." Cadance said, trying to keep her composure. She didn't show it, but I could almost hear the weight of what I’d said was sinking in for her, too.

Shining Armor cleared his throat, staring at the ceiling. His voice came out steady but strained as he tried to shift the conversation forward. "Alright... so, we’ve got a clearer picture now. It sounds like things got... complicated with that magician." He paused, his brow furrowing in thought, but he kept his tone neutral. "It sounds like you feel guilty, but it doesn’t sound like you forced anything. Trixie made her own choices, even if she was drunk. I'm not excusing either of you for that or anything. You're both adults and responsible for your own actions, but yeah, you need to handle things more maturely going forward. Speaking as a married stallion," He glanced at Cadance before adding, "I think you should tell her what really happened—from your side. She deserves to know the truth, even if it’s not easy to explain."

"Yeah... I guess I should," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper. My throat felt dry, like the words were being dragged out of me against my will.

"Do you need any more proof than Trixie?" Cadance asked carefully.

"...No... I don't." The words tumbled out, heavy with resignation. "It explains Luna, or why Twilight was so willing to help me. All I did was bump her nose..." I trailed off, shaking my head, unable to shake the gnawing thought that I was unintentionally influencing those around me. "I didn’t know..."

Cadance’s eyes darkened momentarily, but she quickly masked it with a gentle smile. "Oh Edgar, don’t beat yourself up." Her voice was warm, but I could feel the tension beneath it, as if she were carefully avoiding a deeper wound. “You didn’t know.”

Shining Armor stepped forward, his firm tone sounding more reassuring than accusatory. “You’re not the first pony—or hyu-man, I guess—to be caught in relationship drama. Trust me, Cadance knows how complicated feelings can get. What matters is that you weren’t trying to hurt anypony.”

I sank lower into the water, feeling the warmth of the bath do nothing to ease the cold pit of guilt growing inside me. "I hurt them," I whispered, the weight of it crushing me from the inside. "I didn't even realize I was doing it, but I made them fall in love with me... none of it was real, was it? Just my touch, twisting their feelings, making them believe I was worth something. Trixie’s tears, Twilight’s loyalty... Luna’s..." My voice cracked, unable to finish the thought. "It was all because of me, and that means Celestia was right...

“Not necessarily,” Cadance cut in, her tone soothing yet serious. "Don't take this the wrong way, but Twilight jumping in was all her, not you. Twilight is a special pony. I’ve known her since she was a filly, and trust me—she wouldn’t need any convincing to protect someone she thought was in danger." Cadance continued with a small pause. "I'm positive that you didn’t create those feelings for them. I don't think you're forcing anypony to feel something that wasn’t already there. Your touch just... amplifies what’s inside. Spreading love that's already there isn't inherently evil. I often find myself stumbling upon friends, families, and herds who might be fighting with each other. I don't use magic to force them to love each other, but I do use it to remind them why they loved each other so much in the first place. If Trixie didn’t care about you at all, she wouldn’t have reacted the way she did."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I shot back, bitterness creeping into my voice despite myself. The guilt still churned inside me, heavy and cold, refusing to let go.

Cadance paused, her expression softening as she met my eyes. "Actually, Edgar, yes—it should make you feel better," Her tone was gentle, but there was conviction behind it. "I think I speak for both of us now when I say that we now believe you aren't doing this on purpose. You’re not a villain or some kind of monster. Trust us, we've seen monsters before. Those who’ve used love as a weapon to twist hearts, to take and never give—ponies who truly wanted others to hurt." Her eyes flickered, just for a moment, with a shadow of something darker—something that carried the weight of painful memories—but she quickly brushed it away, focusing on me again. She didn't say the name, but I knew exactly who she was referring to. "You’re nothing like that.”

"The fact that you are feeing as guilty as you are shows that you probably care a lot about her feelings. Her and everypony else you might have been in contact with, just like they care about you. That’s important. There’s more love here than hate, and that's a sign of Hope." she continued softly. "It means that not everypony is out to get you. It means that ponies like Trixie, Twilight," Cadance paused again. "...And even Aunt Luna... care about you because they see something in you worth caring about." Cadance seemed to tiptoe around the subject of Luna. "And that’s not something to take lightly," she added. "It’s a sign that there’s still hope for understanding, for connection—even with Princess Celestia. If we take the time, maybe she’ll come to see that you’re not a threat."

I shook my head, laughing bitterly. "The same Celestia who almost skewered me in front of everyone? That Celestia?"

Cadance took a deep breath, her wings relaxing as she continued. 'My Cutie Mark isn’t about seeing the future—it’s about understanding Love. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about it, it’s that love has the power to change even the hardest of hearts. I know that Celestia can change too, if we give her time...and a chance.”

Shining Armor, who had been quietly listening, stepped forward. "Hope extends to her too, same as you. “I don't think you've seen the side of Celestia we know yet. The real Celestia."

"The REAL Celestia?" I snorted, unconvinced. "Yeah, I’m not holding my breath."

Shining’s expression remained steady. "I’m not saying it’ll be easy, and I’m not saying it’ll happen overnight. But she's not some heartless ruler. She’s been around a long time, and there’s a reason she’s held in such high regard by so many. There’s hope that, given enough time, she’ll see that you’re more than whatever she fears." He paused, his gaze softening. "We’ve known Celestia for a long time, and I..." Shining Armor was interrupted as Cadance scooted a little close to her husband, leaning her head against him. "...Well, we hope that one day, you’ll get to meet the Celestia we know and love. At least before you have to leave."

I sighed, letting myself slide a little deeper into the water, feeling the warmth barely reaching the tension still knotted up in my chest. “The real Celestia...” I muttered, half to myself. I could still see the look in her eyes, the absolute fury when she’d cornered me. I wasn’t ready to believe she’d just... change her mind because I played nice. But Shining’s words stuck with me. Maybe I hadn’t met the “real” her yet. Maybe all I’d seen was her fear. "I guess we'll see."

Cadance seemed to sense my doubt, her gaze softening again. “You’re not alone in this, Edgar,” she said quietly. “We’ll do what we can to help, but you’ll need to trust us too.” Her words hung in the air for a moment, and I could feel the sincerity in them, but it didn’t quite reach the part of me that was still wrestling with the storm inside. "We'll try to figure out a way to smooth things over."

The sound of a soft knock echoed through the steamy bathroom.

“It's Twilight.” came the voice, muffled but unmistakable. “Can I come in?”

I exchanged a quick glance with Cadance and Shining Armor. They hadn’t mentioned her arrival earlier, but I wasn’t surprised to see her. With everything that had been going on, it was only a matter of time before she checked in.

“Yeah." I called out, wiping my face and forehead free of any stress.

Twilight Sparkle poked her head in, her eyes a little red, like she’d been crying. She was holding herself together, but just barely. Her mane was frazzled in that familiar Twilight way—probably from stress. But despite the obvious weight she was carrying, when her eyes landed on me, she blinked, and the faintest hint of a smile curled at the corner of her lips.

"Nice beard." She said, pointing to my face.

I blinked, glancing down at my reflection in the water. Sure enough, despite wiping my face clean earlier, a new foam beard had formed, clinging to my chin like some kind of cartoonish prop. “Oh, come on...” I muttered, wiping at it again. “I swear these bubbles are cursed.”

Twilight giggled quietly before stepping fully into the room, her eyes softening as she took in the sight of us all. "How are you doing, Edgar?" she asked gently, but before I could answer, Shining Armor and Cadance were already moving toward her.

“Twilee,” Shining began, concern lacing his voice. “How are you doing? Did you and Celestia...?”

Twilight’s smile faltered for a second, her ears drooping slightly, but she straightened up, giving her brother a reassuring nod. “It was... hard,” she admitted, her voice a little quieter now. “We yelled...and cried...and apologized...and talked. We don’t agree on a lot of things right now, especially when it comes to Edgar.” She gave me an apologetic look before continuing. “But... we made it through and we spent most of the time hugging it out. I know it’s not going to be easy, and we’re still on opposite sides of what we think is right. But... it’s not going to ruin our relationship. We still trust each other, and we know we're only fighting about this so much because we're worried about each other.” She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as if she were letting go of some of the tension she’d been holding. “It’ll take more than one argument to break what we have.”

I sat up straighter in the tub, rubbing a hand over my face. "I'm... sorry you had to go through that, Twilight. Really." The words felt heavier than they sounded, and they were a lot harder to get out than I’d expected. Twilight as she probably just described her personal hell. Going toe-to-toe with Celestia about me couldn’t have been easy. Yet here she was, holding herself together. I knew she had it in her, but seeing it in person was something else. It was inspiring to see her make it through that.

Twilight gave me a weak but genuine smile. "I'm okay. Just recuperating." Before she could say more, Shining Armor and Cadance were already moving. Without a word, they closed the gap between them and Twilight, pulling her into a gentle but firm hug. It was almost instinctual, the way they held her, like she was something fragile and precious. Shining wrapped one hoof around her, while Cadance leaned her head against Twilight's. It wasn’t just for her, though—I could see the way they clung to each other, finding comfort in the closeness. Twilight blinked in surprise for a moment but then let herself relax, her eyes closing as she melted into the embrace. I could see her body sagging slightly, the weight of the day catching up to her as she took a deep breath, steadying herself.

"...This helps though." Twilight murmured softly into her brother's shoulder.

For a moment, the room was quiet, the warmth of the hug filling the space as they kind of tetter-tottered in place like someone would do in a very meaningful hug. The quiet stretched on, the soft hum of the bathwater and the warmth of the room filling the space between us. I shifted a bit, watching as they held each other. It felt like I was peeking in on a scene that was too personal for me to belong in—a reminder that, despite everything, I was still the outsider here. These ponies had a bond that went far beyond what I could ever really understand, no matter how much I thought I knew about them from before. But strangely enough, I was glad. Twilight needs this more than anyone else in the room right now.

Cadance was the first to speak after the hug broke, her tone gentle but with a hint of playfulness. "Feel better?" she asked, stepping back slightly to give Twilight some space.

Twilight nodded, a small but more genuine smile forming on her face now. "Yeah... thanks. I really needed that."

"Good. Hugs always make things better for everypony." Cadance smiled warmly, her eyes soft as she watched Twilight relax just a little. "It's been a rough start to the morning for all of us," she said. Then, almost as if the momentary relief sparked an idea, her eyes lit up. "What do you say we go grab some quiche or funnel cakes?" Her voice took on a brighter tone, like she was trying to push the morning’s gloom away. "You know, to reset the day."

Twilight hesitated, her smile faltering as she looked down at her hooves. She bit her lip, like she was weighing whether or not to break the mood. Shining Armor caught the shift immediately, tilting his head slightly. "What is it, Twilee?"

Twilight let out a sigh before meeting their eyes. "There’s... something else we need to talk about." She glanced at me for a split second before looking back at her brother and Cadance. "There’s going to be another meeting later today. With all the royals."

Shining Armor blinked, his ears twitching as his eyes narrowed slightly. "Right. About the incursion, right?"

Twilight hesitated, her eyes flicking to me again before she shook her head slowly. “No… it’s not about the changelings.”

Cadance raised an eyebrow, confusion crossing her features. “Then what’s the meeting about?”

Twilight swallowed hard, visibly bracing herself. “Edgar… again.”

Shining Armor’s expression darkened, his brow furrowing as he glanced at Cadance. “Wait, what? Again?” His voice was measured, but there was an edge of frustration creeping in. “Look, Twilee, I get that Edgar’s situation is… complicated. But we came here for two reasons: to make sure you were okay, and to discuss the second major changeling incursion since our wedding. That’s a serious red flag, and historically, it’s a sign they’re preparing to swarm since it was done in such a short time frame.” He paused, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. “I’m not saying Edgar’s situation isn't hard for him, but… is it really that important?”

Twilight didn’t flinch at her brother’s words. She just met his gaze, her own steady and sure, despite the weight of what she was about to say. “Yes,” she said simply.

Shining Armor opened his mouth as if to argue, but whatever he saw in Twilight’s eyes stopped him. He let out a slow breath, his shoulders sagging slightly. Cadance, too, looked like she wanted to say something, but instead, she just nodded, though her confusion hadn’t entirely faded.

“Alright,” Shining said, his voice quieter now. “If you say it’s that important, then we’ll be there. But I hope this makes sense soon, Twilee.”

Twilight gave him a small, appreciative smile, but the tension in the room didn’t ease.

“Is that everything?” Cadance asked, her voice soft but tinged with a cautious curiosity, as if she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Twilight’s hesitation returned. Her eyes flickered nervously between me and Cadance before she shifted uncomfortably on her hooves. “No… there’s one more thing.”

Cadance’s eyes narrowed slightly, and I could see the gears turning in her head. “What is it, Twilight?” she asked, her tone a little sharper now, though she still tried to keep it gentle.

Twilight fidgeted, clearly struggling with how to phrase it. She glanced at Cadance, then quickly looked away, her ears flattening slightly. “Please don’t get mad,” she started, her voice low, like she was already anticipating the reaction. “But... Princess Luna is still waiting in the other room.”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop instantly. Shining Armor’s hoof shot up to his forehead with a heavy smack. “Aw, jeez...” he muttered, rubbing his face in disbelief.

Cadance’s reaction was much more visceral. Her ears pinned back, and for the first time since I’d met her, I saw a flicker of real anger in her eyes. "What?"

Twilight’s wings drooped as she glanced between the two of them. “I... I tried to tell her it'd be best for her to leave, but she’s insisting. She wants to take some time to apologize...and she wants to see if Edgar wants to allow her to finish welcoming him into her Royal Herd properly... with an ablution.”

...

"Unreal..." Cadance hissed, her voice low and sharp, barely holding back the fury boiling underneath. Her wings twitched as she paced in place, her eyes narrowing as if she were trying to contain the storm inside. "Un-fucking-real."

Twilight winced at Cadance’s outburst but didn’t try to defend Luna. Instead, she just gave her sister-in-law a sympathetic look, as if she had expected this response all along.

It was the first time I’d heard her swear even with all the drama earlier, and the intensity behind it caught me off guard too. Even Shining Armor, who was usually calm under pressure, stiffened slightly beside her, though he didn’t seem entirely surprised by her reaction. His ears drooped a little, but he wisely kept quiet, knowing better than to interrupt her when she was like this.

Cadance’s pacing stopped as she took a deep breath, clearly fighting to control the storm brewing inside her. Her wings were twitching, her chest rising and falling faster than usual. “I swear,” she muttered under her breath, “defeathering wouldn’t be an overreaction.”

Twilight shifted uneasily, clearly feeling the tension. "She... she said she wants to take some time to talk to Edgar and explain why she did what she did while they, um, wash each other." Her voice sounded hesitant, like she knew just how absurd the whole thing was but had no choice but to bring it up. She bit her lip, shooting a nervous glance at Cadance, who was practically vibrating with barely contained fury. “Luna thinks that finishing up will help clear the air between them. But she won’t force Edgar. If he refuses, she'll just clean herself up once he's done.”

Cadance’s wings flared out for a moment before folding back, and her jaw clenched tightly. “And she thinks this is okay??? Unbelievable,” she spat, her voice a low simmer. She turned to me, her eyes intense as they bore into mine, her frustration clear. “Gee, what do you think, Edgar? Do you want to do an ablution with my Aunt Luna right after what happened earlier?”

I opened my mouth to answer but quickly realized I didn’t know what the hell I’d be agreeing to. "I’m going to be careful with how I say this..." I started cautiously, feeling like I was walking through a minefield. "Before I say yes or no, what exactly is an 'ablution' and what would I be agreeing to?"

Cadance’s wings twitched again, her frustration bubbling beneath the surface as she took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Her voice was tight, clearly holding back her anger. “Edgar... do you even know what a Royal Consort is?”

I blinked, “Uh... no? Not really. I just found out I apparently was one this morning." I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. "I have some ideas, but it’s not like she handed me a rulebook or anything.”

For a second, there was silence. Cadance’s eyes darkened with a simmering fury. She stared at me, her face composed, but I could see the anger sparking in her eyes.

The room went dead silent for a beat, and when I looked back at Cadance, her expression had darkened with a mix of shock and fury.

"…I’m going to do it," she muttered, her voice low and seething.

I blinked, confused. "Do what?"

Her eyes narrowed, her voice dropping dangerously low. “With a potato peeler,” she hissed, her wings twitching like she was barely holding herself back. “I’m going to defeather her with a potato peeler.”

Shining Armor sighed softly and stepped closer to his wife, trying to play peacemaker. “Babe? Baaaaabe~... Mi Amore?” His tone was soft but firm, the kind of voice that said he’d been here before. “I hear what you’re saying, and I love and validate you... But maybe we should dial it back a notch and, you know... calm down a bit?”

Cadance’s head snapped toward him, and her glare could’ve melted steel.

“I’M CALM! LOOK HOW CALM I AM!” Cadance said calmly in the most un-calm tone imaginable as she wiped away a tear of ~~frustration~~ calmness. “I am completely calm!”

It was like watching a volcano try to convince you it wasn’t about to erupt. Her wings flared wide, and she stomped her hoof on the tile floor with a sharp crack, the word reverberating off the walls like a cannon blast. The sheer intensity made me jump...but strangely enough it also took everything in me not to laugh. Cadance might’ve been furious, but there was something almost... endearing about the way she was on the verge of exploding.

Shining didn’t flinch, though. He just smiled, patient as ever, and threw me a sideways glance like, help a guy out here, would ya? “And I totally believe you, love. It’s just that-” He gave me a wink. “You miiiight be scaring Edgar a little.”

I gave a half-nod, more amused than anything. "Yeah, gotta admit... the potato peeler thing's a bit intense."

"I don't meeaaaan it!" Cadance huffed, and while her frustration was intense, it wasn’t directed at me. It was clear that she wasn’t angry with me but at the situation itself. She proved it as she turned to me with a sheepish look as her face started to soften. “I’m sorry for yelling,” she muttered. She turned to Shining Armor and leaned into him, rubbing her neck against his with an affectionate nuzzle. “I love you, Shiny.”

“I love you too, Cady,” Shining replied, pulling her closer with a comforting nuzzle, his tone gentle like this was just how they calmed each other down.

Cadance took a deep breath, visibly trying to rein in her emotions. The storm inside her hadn’t fully settled, though, and her voice still had that simmering edge when she spoke again. “To answer your first question...” Her gaze flicked to me, eyes narrowing just a little as she continued, “An Ablution is a ceremonial cleansing. It’s part of the Prima Nocta. Your first night together that Aunt Luna, and I want to stress this, tricked you into when she made you her Royal Consort. It’s supposed to mark the final step in bringing you fully into her herd."

“So... it’s like an fancy bath?” I asked, trying to make sense of it.

Cadance’s wings twitched, and she gave me a tight-lipped frown. "No Edgar, it's not just a ‘fancy bath.’ It’s supposed to be romantic and sacred tradition after a herd’s first night together." She huffed at me. "After you’ve, well... make love, you clean each other. It’s meant to wash away the remnants of your night together. You're symbolically cleaning the ‘impurities’ of your pasts and your promising to take care of each other in the future. It’s like saying, ‘We’ve accepted each other for who we are. We shared everything, even the most intimate parts of our lives, and now we want to start a new life together.’"

“Whoa, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…” I apologized quickly.

"No no, it's fine. I'm sorry. It's not your fault, It’s just that—" she struggled, clearly searching for the right words before letting out a growl of frustration. "Ugggh! Of course you don't know! I bet she didn’t tell you anything on purpose!" She ranted as she paced in a really tight circle. "That’s not love, Edgar. That’s... I don't know what that is. It's like something straight out of Chrysalis’ playbook! How could she do such a thing!?!"

Her words hung in the air, heavy and biting. Hearing that name—Chrysalis—I could feel the weight behind it. This wasn’t just anger. Cadance was hurt, and the more she spoke, the more I could see how deep that wound ran. This wasn’t just about what Luna had done—it was about how wrong everything felt at its core for her like she couldn't believe what her own family had done.

"And you washing each other to finish it?" Cadance continued, her voice dropping to a low, simmering tone. “It doesn’t even make sense! There’s no point to it! You’re immune to magic, Edgar. Even though Aunt Luna is royalty, there are no magical promises that can be made between you two. And thanks to her little stunt this morning, Celestia can’t harm or order anypony to harm you anyway. So what’s the point? To mock your feelings?" She shook her head, her voice growing confused. More frustrated... Sadder. "It just feels... cruel. Like she’s trying to convince you that finishing this will make everything better. But it’s not going to change anything. It’s just gonna to mess with you, whether she realizes it or not.”

I stayed quiet, processing what she was saying. A part of me wanted to know what Luna had to say for herself, but Cadance’s words were sinking in. I had a hard time understanding what I actually wanted from her after hearing that, but before I could reply, Shining Armor stepped forward with a calm and steady voice.

“Look, Edgar,” he started, “You don't have to, and I don't think you should...but if you want to talk to Luna, I’ll stay in the room. I don’t trust her right now either, and I’ll make sure she doesn’t—”

Twilight quickly interjected, her voice more measured but firm. "Actually, Shining, I think I should stay." She glanced at Cadance, whose wings were still twitching in frustration. "You might be better off helping rein in Cadance if things get a little heated. We don’t want another incident." Her words were careful, but there was no mistaking the subtext. Something had gone down between Cadance and Luna earlier, something big. I didn’t need to know the specifics to figure that much out.

Cadance let out a huff, clearly still on edge, but Shining nodded, understanding Twilight’s unspoken point. He glanced toward his wife, his expression softening. "Yeah... you’re probably right."

Twilight turned to me, her gaze softening too. "Shiny's right. You don't have to, but if you choose to listen to her, I’d like to stay while you talk to her. I don’t think Luna means harm, but... it’s important we make sure everypony’s on the same page this time. No more lies."

I glanced at all three of them, feeling a strange knot form in my throat.. I was an outsider, and yet they cared. It was overwhelming.

...These familiar strangers... these ponies that I thought I knew but didn’t really know. They were still going out of their way to help me. It didn’t make sense. Why? Why were they still here? Why were they batting for me, when I was just some anomaly who’d stumbled into their world and making a muck of everyone's emotions? When I'm just a foreigner that didn't belong...

“Why are you all still here?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly despite my best effort to keep it steady. “Why are you so invested in trying to help me?”

And the moment I asked, I regretted doing so....

The music came back...

The three of them looked at me, surprised by the question. Cadance, Shining Armor, and Twilight—all of them wore different expressions, but the sincerity in their eyes was unmistakable. It was like they couldn’t imagine doing anything but helping me. And that, more than anything else, made my chest feel tight in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

Shining Armor spoke first, his answer as simple as it was honest. "You look like you need help," he said, his tone direct, but there was a kindness in his eyes that I hadn’t expected nor was I surprised by. "That’s all I need to know."

...Oh fuck, that was in character...strike one.

Cadance followed, her voice softer now, the sharp edge of her anger giving way to something more tender, more focused on me than Luna. She took a deep breath, as if steadying herself before speaking, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Every stallion deserves to feel like a prince, just like every mare deserves to feel like a princess," she said, her tone thick and nasally with emotion. "It’s not about titles or roles... it’s about dignity, Edgar. And I can’t just stand by and watch my Aunts try to strip that away from you." She paused, her gaze locking onto mine, and slowly shook her head, disbelief clouding her eyes. "You matter... and it breaks my heart that you're even asking why we care." Her voice wavered, the vulnerability in her words striking me harder than anything else. Shining Armor stepped a little closer, and acted as a pillar for her to lean on. "You deserve better than that, Edgar... so much better."

No...no God Damn it....Strike two...

Twilight stepped forward with her eyes shining with the same raw emotion Cadance had, but there was something more—hope. Twilight’s voice was soft but unwavering as she spoke, a quiet strength behind her words. "Edgar..."

No...No don't you dare start talking, Twilight!

Twilight's eyes glistening with unshed tears. "...you don’t have to go through this alone. You’ve been through so much in such a short time—more than anypony should have to deal with—and we want to be here for you. You’ve been strong, but you don’t have to carry all of this by yourself."

Her voice wavered, just for a moment, but the conviction behind her words remained firm. "You were here for Trixie... you were here for Ponyville... and you were here for me. The least I can do is be here for you now..." She blinked, her tears threatening to spill, but her smile—small and soft—shone through, filled with warmth and care. "You’re not just some random otherworldly savior." Twilight’s gaze softened as she looked at me, the quiet hope in her eyes unmistakable. "You’re my friend, Edgar. No matter how hard things get... I’m here now." Despite the tears brimming in her eyes, her voice was like a steady rock, grounding me in a way I didn’t know I needed.

oh...

oh no...

That was it...

Strike Three!

I could feel the tears stinging the corners of my eyes and the lump in my throat got worse. Emotions bubbling up before I could stop them and threatening to spill over. I couldn’t handle it. The kindness, the support, the way they were all trying so hard to be there for me—it was too much. I didn’t want to cry in front of them.

Twilight stepped forward, her concern evident. “Edgar... are you okay?”

I didn’t trust myself to speak. I couldn’t afford to fall apart, not in front of them. Desperate for a distraction, I dunked my head under the water, letting the heat wash over me. The muffled silence beneath the surface gave me a momentary escape from the storm swirling in my chest. I stayed there longer than I should have, letting it calm me, until my lungs started to ache for air.

When I resurfaced, I blinked a few times, wiping my face with more focus than necessary. "Ugh... soap in my eyes," I muttered, forcing a laugh. Anything to keep my voice from cracking. I blinked again, hoping they'd buy it.

Given the soft chuckles that followed, I don’t think they did. But none of them called me out on it. They just let it slide, giving me the space I needed. And for that, I was quietly grateful.

"Edgar..." Twilight sniffled with a smile. "It's back." She pointed at my face, and I glanced down to see that, sure enough, the cursed foam beard had returned.

“Of course,” I groaned.

Before I could say more, I heard a soft, almost shaky laugh. Cadance, despite everything, let out a breathy chuckle, doing her best to compose herself as she wiped at her eyes. Her magic sparked to life, and a few tissues floated off the counter, one wiping her eyes and nose while another in her glow hovered next to Twilight, who accepted it with gusto. "At least you're consistent," she joked, her voice still thick with emotion but steadier than before.

I couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. It was ridiculous, so absurdly out of place in everything that had happened, but somehow, it made the moment feel lighter. More... bearable.

It was the first real moment of relief I'd felt since this whole mess started, and that little bit of normalcy—no matter how silly—helped me feel like I could finally breathe again. I wasn’t carrying all of this alone. It wasn’t just me against the world anymore. The weight that had been crushing my chest from the moment I’d stepped into this bath felt light, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I could get through this.

I took a deep breath, letting the warmth settle in my chest. "Okay," I said, my voice steady now. "I’ve made up my mind. But before I say anything... is my ‘touch’ going to be a problem if I choose to say yes?"

Cadance and Twilight exchanged a quick glance, then shook their heads.

“No,” Cadance said, her tone more composed now. “Your touch is potent, sure, but it depends on the intimacy. It was pretty obvious that you... finished things with Aunt Luna last night. Washing her after that would be like spitting in the rain—I don't think it will make things worse than if you didn't have that touch.”

"Alright," I said, the knot in my chest loosening just a bit more. "I think I want to talk to her... now that I have a friend with me." I glanced at Twilight, who gave me a soft, reassuring smile, though I could see her fighting to keep her own emotions in check. I kept thinking in the back of my mind that if my touch was affecting her, she was doing her best to work with it. I couldn't have been making things easy for her, and I am glad she's with me right now.

Cadance shook her head as she sighed.

“Edgar, do you know what hurts the most about all of this? It’s not just that Luna manipulated you. It’s that she took something that’s supposed to be sacred—the Prima Nocta—and twisted it. It’s meant to be a celebration of love, trust, and the bond between partners, not as a weapon or a shield.” She paused, her eyes narrowing as she fought back the anger simmering beneath. “This isn’t just some tradition for show. It’s a promise. A way for the royal family to connect with those they cherish. It’s a bond we hold sacred, and she... she’s using it like a political tool. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to what this is supposed to mean.”

Cadance let out a slow breath, her wings twitching as if she were still wrestling with her emotions. Despite the debate simmering beneath her calm exterior, there was a subtle shift in her demeanor—something softer, though clouded with uncertainty. Her eyes flicked between me and the floor, as though weighing her words carefully.

Her voice became more hesitant but gentle. "I want to be honest with you. I’m livid at my Aunt Luna. Believe me, I don’t take what she did lightly, but I don’t think she acted out of malice." She paused, her brow furrowing as she glanced down, her tone growing quieter. "I’ve always drawn a blank from her ever since I first met her, and... given everything she’s been through, I can understand why she holds so much back. She’s been alone for so long during banishment, imprisoned on the moon for a thousand years, and even though she’s been back for a while, there are parts of her that still feel... distant. Isolated."

Cadance’s gaze met mine again, her expression filled with a mix of concern and reluctance. "Luna does care about others. I-I know that. Her dedication to protecting ponies from their nightmares, from the things that torment them... it's proof of how much she wants to help ponies, even if she doesn’t always show it in ways we expect. But... how she’s chosen to handle this? It’s wrong. Deeply wrong. And that’s what scares me. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s hurt you."

Her wings shifted slightly, and I could hear the weight of her words as she continued. "I’m not defending her, Edgar. Not after everything that’s happened, but I've seen her let her guard down earlier. I think before you talk to her, you should remember that Luna isn’t trying to come from a place of cruelty. She’s coming from a place of confusion, loneliness... maybe even love, in her own complicated...fucked-up way. But if this is how she tries to show it, then that’s something we need to confront. Carefully."

She took a deep breath, her voice soft but steady as she leaned in slightly. "That’s why I'll be close. Not just for you, but for her, too. You’re in control, Edgar. At any point, if you want to stop, just say the word, and we’ll be right there. You don’t owe her anything. Don’t let her or this situation make you feel otherwise."

Cadance’s sincerity shone through, even with the undercurrent of anger still simmering just beneath the surface. I could see the conflict in her eyes—her loyalty to her family, and her deep care for my well-being.

I nodded, feeling a bit more grounded. "O-okay," I muttered, trying to process everything she’d said.

She stepped forward, her gaze firm yet compassionate as she repeated herself, her voice a little stronger this time. "No, Edgar, I mean it. You have control here. Over everything." She let the words sink in before adding, "If you need us, if you feel overwhelmed, we’ll be right there.

Shining Armor gave me a reassuring nod, stepping up beside Cadance. "For what it’s worth," he said, his voice steady but kind, "I’m rooting for ya. You’ve got this." There was a sincerity in his words that made it easier to believe, even with everything weighing me down. I nodded back, appreciating the support.

With a final glance at me, Cadance let out a sharp breath, her wings flaring slightly in a huff as she turned and made her way toward the door. Shining Armor followed immediately, moving just close enough to her side that it looked casual—almost instinctual—but I could tell he was deliberately positioning himself. Strategically, he stayed between Cadance and someone waiting just outside, blocking her view with quiet precision.

As they left, Cadance's hoof steps were a little faster like she was power walking out of the room, while Shining’s presence beside her acted like a buffer, keeping her from doing or saying anything she might regret.

Moments after Cadance and Shining Armor left, the room fell into a thick silence, punctuated only by the soft hum of the bathwater and the distant echo of their hoof steps receding. Twilight and I were left alone in the bright light. Her presence a strange but comforting contrast to everything I was feeling. I wasn’t sure what to say to her—if there was anything to say. The words I wanted to speak were tangled in my mind, just like everything else.

But Twilight was the first to break the silence. "So," she said, her voice lighter, trying to break the tension that had been hanging in the air. "Are you ready?"

"Whether I am or not...she's been patient." I nodded, my chest tightening just a little, but I knew this had to happen.

She took a tentative step toward me, her voice soft but steady. "Edgar... before Luna comes in, I just want you to know something."

I glanced up at her, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in her tone. There was something deeper, more personal, in her words now. A sincerity that tugged at the edge of my emotions.

"You don’t have to worry about me," she said, her eyes meeting mine with that unshakable Twilight conviction. "Your touch—everything that’s going on with you—I’m not afraid of it. I’m here because I want to be."

I opened my mouth, ready to ask how she could be so sure, but before I could speak, Twilight gave me a small, almost knowing smile. Like she’d been expecting that exact question.

"Celestia told me something a while ago, before any of this started," Twilight continued, her voice growing quieter, almost reverent. "She said to always trust in myself, to trust my feelings when it comes to the ponies I care about." She paused for a moment, her eyes flicking to the ground as if she were weighing her next words carefully. Then, she looked back up at me, her gaze softer but no less sure. "And I do, Edgar. I trust that you’re not trying to hurt me—or anyone else." Twilight hesitated for just a second, then added, almost sheepishly, "I'm not going to stop listening to her now."

She caught herself the moment the words left her mouth, her eyes widening in realization. The awkwardness hung in the air for a beat, and she shifted, her ears flicking slightly as her gaze wavered. "Well, maybe unless it's about you..." she amended, giving me a small, apologetic smile. "But I think I should listen to her this time. I trust you because I trust myself."

I let out a soft chuckle, despite the tightness in my chest. It was such a simple moment, but somehow, it felt like a lifeline. Her presence was grounding, giving me something solid to hold onto in the middle of all this confusion.

"...Thanks, Twilight," I muttered, my voice quieter than I’d intended. "I needed to hear that."

Twilight’s smile faded just slightly as she glanced at the door, her expression shifting to something more serious. "That’s her," she whispered, more to herself than to me, and I felt my heart beat faster in response.

My heart pounded in my chest, the dull thud filling my ears as Twilight’s words hung in the air. Luna—the one pony I wasn’t sure I could face, and yet, the one I couldn’t ignore.

It had only been a few hours since everything happened. Memories of her touch—both the comfort and the confusion it brought—flashed through my mind. She’d been a protector, a seductress, a manipulator. My thoughts spiraled back to the night we spent together, the way she made me feel like I mattered, like I was something more than just "Edgar". But now, those same moments felt tainted. Was it real? Was any of it real? Did she even care about me at all, or was I just another pawn in some grand conspiracy?

And yet... part of me wanted to believe that she did care. Even after everything, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something deeper, something that went beyond what I was hearing and feeling.

I wanted answers. I wanted to confront her. I needed to know why. But part of me dreaded what she might say, because what if... what if she confirmed it? What if everything I felt for her, every ounce of trust I thought I had, was based on a lie?

What do I even want her to say?

The knock echoed again, softer this time, but still insistent. I took a deep breath, letting the sound settle in my chest, feeling the weight of what was about to happen bear down on me. Twilight gave me a small nod, then walked over to the door, cracking it open just enough to peek through.

“Come in,” she said softly, stepping aside to make room.

I wasn’t ready, but I couldn't stall any longer. The door creaked open...

...And then, there she was.

Princess Luna stepped into the room, and the first thing that struck me was how different she looked.

She didn’t stand with the proud, regal bearing I’d grown used to. There was no grand entrance, no overwhelming presence that I was expecting. She didn’t command the room—she barely even took up space. Instead, she seemed... smaller. Her movements were slow, almost reluctant, like each step was a struggle under the weight of something far heavier than the crown she wasn't wearing.

Her mane still wasn't flowing flowing with stars and the deep blues of the night sky. That was the same this morning and last night when we were together....but the way it drooped. They way it hung limp and matted, with a few stray strands clinging to her neck and face.

What was once a radiant, otherworldly aura now looked dull, almost lifeless, as though the magic that sustained it had flickered out. Her wings weren’t tucked neatly at her sides either and instead drooped down to touch the floor. Feathers stuck out in places, as if she hadn’t bothered to fix them, or didn’t have the strength to care.

Her face?

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, the tears still fresh enough to leave streaks down her cheeks. There was a mark that hadn’t been there before—a faint, hoof-shaped mark on the side of her face, with a small cut where the blow must have landed. I didn’t need to guess what the “incident” between Cadance and Luna had been anymore. There is something poetic about both our our cheeks having a cut and hoof-shaped bruise. It's almost like we match...

And yet, even in her disheveled state, there was that familiar tug inside me. Even with her looking so defeated, there was something familiar—something I couldn’t quite shake. This was still Luna. The mare who had saved me more than once, who had made me feel... something, even when I didn’t know what that something was. It was twisted, confusing, but it was real. She was still the one who had made me feel like I mattered in ways I hadn’t expected.

Our eyes met, and for a brief second, I saw it—regret, pain, maybe even fear. Her mouth opened like she wanted to speak, but the words stuck, trapped in her throat. The air in the room felt heavier, thick with the weight of everything unsaid, with the mess of emotions neither of us had been able to make sense of.

“E-Edgar...?” Luna’s voice trembled, fragile in a way I’d never heard before. It was as though she didn’t even believe she had the right to speak, much less to say my name.

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the moment settle in my chest. The anger I knew I should have—everything I’d been told, everything Cadance had warned me about—sat just beneath the surface. But standing here, seeing her like this, broken and vulnerable... it was hard to hold onto that anger.

"...Luna?" My voice came out rough, almost hesitant, as if speaking her name might unravel whatever fragile calm was holding us both together.

“I... I have some things need to say to you,” Luna murmured, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, even if it might sound repetitive at points.

Posting as a "rough draft" after a quick read-through, but if you see anything obvious and disgraceful in my grammar or editing, please feel free to let me know.

Just to preemptively answer some of your questions:

Q. Why is the story so slow? Why isn't anything substantial happening? GET ON WITH IT!
A. I'm FUCKING TRYING!

Q. "Why does this chapter feel like therapy? WHY IS EVERYONE STILL CRYING?"
A.

Emotions are a bit complicated for me and I am not the best at writing them. I find myself droning on and on, but I do feel as if the dialogue needed to be there. I'm just hoping the right tone and story is sent. I write best when I'm tired, but I may miss things because I am tired when I write.

Q. "Who hurt you?"
A. Society

Q."When is this going to stop being depressing?"
A. "Soon. Soon. I hope this will help Edgar have something to look forward to. He's had a rough couple of days.

Q. "Are you even taking these questions or this story seriously?"
A. My own questions that I'm doing for a bit, no. However, if you guys have any questions, I'd be more than happy to PM you. I have no qualms about humble-bragging or clarifying things, and if you bring up something that doesn't make sense in the story that I neglected, I'd actually really appreciate that! I love your guy's comments for a reason, and it's not just to stoke my own ego or hear where you think the story is going.

Now here are two questions for you guys:

1.How do you feel about the other ponies and royals so far? I have my own head canon, but I want to make sure it still makes sense for everyone.

1. Would you guys be against me taking a small hiatus on continuing this story to focus on rewriting the earlier chapters? I feel as if it's turning off a lot of potential new readers and gives the wrong impression due to how dated the lmao meme thing it had going on.