“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” — Dr. Seuss

For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of water gently lapping against the sides of the bath, steam curling up into the air, making everything hazy and dreamlike. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. The anticipation clawed at my gut like a living thing, and the longer I waited for her to say something, the worse my anxiety became. I thought I'd done enough thinking, but that was clearly not the case now that the moment arrived. Now that it was happening, now that Luna was right here, close enough to touch, it didn’t feel like I’d expected.

I hated the way I felt—half furious, half... sorry for her. Seeing her so broken made it harder to cling to the anger that I knew should be there.

My heart thudded painfully against my ribs as I sat there, waiting for her to say something. What excuse was she going to offer? What explanation? I thought I was ready for it, thought I could handle hearing whatever she had to say, but every second that passed without her speaking only made the tension worse.

The bathwater rippled as I shifted, glancing down to avoid her gaze. But even her reflection in the water showed a side I hadn’t seen—worn down, as if carrying the weight of her own mistakes. Luna, so regal and confident on the show and even with me before, now looked like someone torn up by choices they couldn’t take back. Maybe Cadance was right; maybe I did have an idea of how that felt.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t look her in the eye. Not yet.

And then, she spoke.

"May we join thee in the Balneum?"

"Ball-neum?" I blinked, startled out of my thoughts, finally looking up at her more out of confusion than anything.

Luna’s eyes softened, and she pointed to the Lavender waters with an almost pleading look. “There is more than enough room for the both of us. I wish to speak with you from your level. If you choose not to wash me, I would still like to clean myself.” She hesitated, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I feel somewhat dirty... I hope you understand.”

It caught me off guard. I thought it was going to be a lot harder to keep my cool, even if Cadance had given me the best pep talk in Equestria. I felt angry—I should have been more angry—but something else was inside me. Something deeper. I wasn’t ready for that. It was absurd and surreal. Her voice... it wasn’t commanding. It wasn’t regal. It was small, vulnerable, as if she were asking for permission, not from a subject, but from... me.

"Uh, yeah," I managed, my voice coming out awkward and uneven.

Luna stepped in slowly, gracefully even, despite how run-down she looked. The water barely rippled as she descended the steps into the bath. She was right—there was plenty of room for the both of us. I could almost swim in it myself if I wanted. But still, the bath felt more claustrophobic, now that we were together.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Twilight, sitting just off to the side, her back turned respectfully, though it was clear she was listening. She hadn’t said much since Luna walked in—hadn’t needed to—but her ears kept flicking toward us at any possible ambient sound, as though waiting for the right moment to speak. I could tell she was struggling, trying to figure out where she fit in. She wasn’t just here as a new friend to me, but she had to be to Luna as well, I'd imagine. She was a mediator, ensuring Luna didn’t twist the truth as she had done before. But even so, it must have felt strange for her, being this close to such an intimate and what I expect to be painful conversation between the two of us.

The silence stretched on, thick and uncomfortable. I could feel her presence next to me, the weight of her gaze pressing down, but I kept staring at the water, unsure of what to say. Before I could collect my thoughts, Luna broke the silence with a tiny, almost wistful smile.

"We... we had hoped to wash thee ourselves," she said, her voice gentle. "But thou had no need for us, it seems."

"Yeah, I had plenty of time." I replied awkwardly, still unsure of how to meet her eyes or what else to say. The bath, for all its vastness, felt smaller with each passing second. "...Cadance told me about this Ablution stuff. Such a weird word...maybe I would have waited if you told me about it in the first place, or about anything really."

Luna’s smile faded, her expression becoming more serious. She sighed, and I could see the tension in her shoulders, the weight of everything she wasn’t saying pressing down on her. "I understand if you do not wish to finish this or even listen," she murmured, her voice quieter now, almost hesitant. "I would like nothing more than for you to forgive us for what we hath done, but it would be selfish. If you would allow it, we need to cleanse ourselves. We have enough stains to bear without the obvious ones."

Her words hung in the air, and I could hear the layers of meaning behind them. It was written all over her—how torn up she was by what she’d done.

My chest tightened as I watched her, torn between anger and a strange pull to reach out, to offer anything that might ease her burden. But after everything, how could I forgive her for putting me through that? How could I trust her?

I shifted uncomfortably, the water rippling slightly around me. “I don’t know how to forgive you. I don’t even know if I'm allowed to be angry.” My voice dropped lower. “I feel like I should be… but I’m just so confused.”

Luna nodded slowly, her gaze dropping to the water again. "You should be angry, Edgar," she whispered, her voice carrying a heavy weight of regret. "You have every right to feel this way. I have wronged you in ways that cannot be excused. I was sure of you to feel worse about what I had done...but even still it hurts me more than I thought it possible."

The quiet admission struck deeper than I expected. There was no defensiveness, no attempt to soften the blow or justify her actions. Just... honesty. It felt strange, hearing her say it like that—almost like she wanted me to feel what I was feeling.

"I only ask that you..." Luna hesitated for a moment, her voice growing even softer. "...grant us the chance to explain ourselves."

I swallowed, my throat dry. It was hard to speak, to even think about what to say next. The anger, the confusion, the hurt—it was all still there, tangled up inside me. But at the same time, seeing her like this... so broken, so lost... it was hard to hold on to. The air between us felt charged, and I could tell she was waiting, watching me for some kind of sign.

"...Start with the lies then." I said finally, my voice steadying as I forced myself to meet her gaze. "If we’re going to do this, I need you to tell me the truth. All of it."

Luna’s eyes flickered with something—relief that I was giving her a chance? Pain of having to walk through this? Maybe both. She nodded, her expression settling into something heavier, as if she had prepared herself for this moment, though it didn’t make what she had to say any easier.

“I owe thee that much,” she whispered, her voice barely more than a murmur. She glanced away, taking a deep breath before looking back at me, her eyes searching mine. “I have lied to thee... many times. In ways both small and terrible. But the greatest lies... were born of fear.”

“Start with the venom,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended. “You said it was going to kill me. That’s why you had to... That's why we had sex. Then Celestia dropped a bombshell that I wasn't gonna die from it. Was that true?”

I tensed, waiting. Of all the things that could have been a lie, I never thought it would be this. The venom. The one thing I thought I could trust. After everything that had happened—the bite, the panic, the fear—this felt like the cruelest betrayal.

“It was dangerous, yes,” Luna began, her voice steady, though I could see her struggling to maintain composure. “Changeling venom, especially from a Queen, is no small matter. Your body could have suffered permanent damage. Loss of certain... functions.” She winced, her words coming out carefully.

I blinked, the reality of her words slowly sinking in. “Wait... so it was dangerous?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. The idea was so absurd I could hardly wrap my head around it.

Luna nodded solemnly. “Yes. At first, we believed that, had you not been treated, it could have caused permanent damage to parts of your anatomy. It might have required amputation.” Her eyes flickered briefly toward Twilight, who had been sitting quietly off to the side. I glanced over, and Twilight gave me a hesitant nod, confirming Luna’s words.

“Twilight knows,” Luna continued. “All the Royals know of it. So much so that our sister offered to assist thee in much the same way last night. This was not a lie.”

I choked on my spit as I tried swallowing the knot in my throat. She said that last night too, but—

“The same Celestia that tried to skewer me?” I choked out, disbelief flooding my voice.

Luna’s expression remained soft, regretful. “Yes. Our sister.” Her voice grew quieter. “But the truth is... before our time together, the venom had ceased to be a true threat. Uncomfortable—yes—but not dangerous. You would have recovered you taken care of it yourself, or perhaps even naturally. We are not entirely sure.”

"And you knew it wasn't...?"

...Luna nodded.

"You lied.” I muttered, my chest tightening with a surge of anger. “You used it against me.”

Luna’s gaze dropped to the water, her ears flattening against her head. “Yes,” she whispered, her voice breaking with shame. “We used it as a weapon against you. We could not risk you saying no.”

I felt my blood run cold. That stung sharper than I had anticipated, leaving me speechless for a moment.

"Risk me saying no" I repeated, my voice shaking. "I...never thought I would hear that as a dude. Did you even care what I'd think?"

"I do care, Edgar. That has never been a lie." Luna nodded, her shoulders trembling. “Yes...please understand. It was not selfishness that drove me but desperation. Last night, you've proven my fears. You kept searching for every reason to reject us. Whether it was about my modesty, finding a way to try and yourself, not wanting to force us into this decision... I could not leave thee a choice. You never would have agreed so long as you had excuses...had fears of what our punishment our sister rend unto thee if we were found together."

I squeezed my hands into fists under the water, knuckles pressing against the smooth tile at the bottom of the bath. I wanted to scream, wanted to lash out—tell her how wrong this all was.

"...That's the crux of this all." Luna continued. "It's why we deceived thee about Celestia's approval...the second lie.”

Luna's words seemed to hover in the air between us, fragile, like they might shatter with the wrong response. My pulse quickened. I clenched my jaw, trying to wrap my mind around what she had just admitted. All this time, I thought the venom had been the cause, the reason for everything that had gone wrong between us—and now, she was telling me it wasn’t the real danger.

She was...

I wanted to shout, to demand more answers, to ask her why she thought any of this was okay. But instead, I bit down on my rising anger, feeling it seethe beneath the surface. Her reasons, however desperate, didn’t make this better. If anything, they made it worse.

"You lied about Celestia," I said, my voice low, trembling with barely restrained fury. I wanted her to feel it, to understand how much that lie had cost me. “You told me she said it was okay. You knew how terrified I was, and you still lied to me.”

Luna flinched, her eyes squeezing shut for a brief moment as though the words themselves had struck her. “I did,” she whispered, her voice thick with regret. “And I am so sorry.”

“Sorry?” I let out a harsh laugh, though it sounded more like a bitter choke. “Do you even know what it was like? I thought... I thought you had some sort of understanding with her. That maybe, just maybe, she was willing to start over, but no! She was going to kill me, Luna! I went from an offer of pancakes to her spea—her halberd getting launched at me! You lied about the venom AND about Celestia, and I almost fucking died because I trusted you!”

Luna trembled, but this time, she didn’t look away. Her eyes, glassy with tears, held mine, full of guilt. She was taking all of this in, letting me vent, letting me say what I needed to say, and it only made the raw anger simmering beneath my skin feel hotter.

"It never would have come to that," she whispered, though the strain in her voice told me she didn’t quite believe her own words. "Your life was in danger, yes, but true harm was not certain. Not so long as the others were there." Luna shook her head, desperation creeping into her voice. “Shining Armor, Cadance, Twilight... I relied on them-"

Twilight cleared her throat loudly.

"...I used them." Luna corrected in a smaller voice. "They are truly good ponies, Edgar, and I knew they would not stand by and let Celestia kill thee without reason. I needed them. Without their intervention, without their belief in you—”

“You gambled my life,” I cut her off, my voice rising with incredulity. “You used them to save me because you couldn’t? Sure, they might've not stood by, but you sure did! Y-You stood there and watched while everything played out. I never felt so weak or so stupid, or so useless!”

“If I had intervened, Edgar...” Luna’s voice cracked, her wings trembling at her sides. “If I had stepped in, Celestia would have all but confirmed that I wasn't thinking clearly. She would have seen me as compromised, as acting irrationally because of you. I... I couldn't risk that.” Her words came out rushed, her breathing quickening as she tried to explain herself. "If she had even the slightest reason I was too far gone to allow her to attempt to save me, if I was as unreasonable as I had been over one-thousand years ago, it would have only confirmed her worst fears about you. It would have certainly doomed you."

I wanted to shout back, to tell her how wrong she was, but something in her voice gave me pause. I gritted my teeth, the bubbling fury mixing with a deep, unsettling confusion. "You put me in that position on purpose," I muttered.

Luna’s breath hitched, and she gave a slow, almost imperceptible nod. “Yes,” she whispered, her voice breaking. "I... I didn’t know what else to do. I needed you to be the victim, for their sake, for your sake, so that I could put her under the Geis.”

I shook my head at the victim comment to try and get myself back on track.

“The Geis?” I frowned, my anger momentarily faltering in the face of confusion.

“An ancient spell.” Luna repeated softly, her eyes flicking up to meet mine. “ An enchantment to some, a curse to others. One I could only cast because the other Royals—their will to protect you—formed a majority. I couldn’t act, but they could. They tipped the balance, and it allowed me to place that Geis on Celestia to ensure she can no longer harm you.”

"So to force them to save me with this...geis...you made me look weak.” I said, my voice tight with disbelief. “You stood there and let me think you weren't doing anything to help me, knowing that it would make the others step in? That they’d see me as pathetic enough to side with me over Celestia?”

Luna’s shoulders trembled as she nodded, her gaze dropping to the floor. “Yes. It tore me apart to watch, Edgar. To see you suffer and be unable to act. But I knew... I knew that if I did, Celestia would have killed you. The only reason she didn’t is because deep down, Celestia still doubted herself. Doubted whether killing you was truly necessary. I’ve known my sister for centuries before our banishment, and I could feel it.”

I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head.

“You think she was doubting herself while she was presenting her manifesto on the massacre of every human who makes a pit stop here after me?” I asked. "Fuck. That."

“I know it’s hard to see, Edgar,” Luna murmured, her voice trembling. “But yes. I know my sister. She was trying to convince herself more than anyone else. I watched her cling to any reason, any excuse to justify not killing you. Her doubts were real, and they’re the only reason you’re alive. She is...very strong.”

"That's bullshit..." I swallowed hard, trying to make sense of what she was saying. My mind was racing, caught between the raw anger and the sudden, painful realization that maybe—just maybe—Luna was right. As twisted as it all was, maybe Celestia hadn’t wanted to kill me. But that didn’t change the fact that she could have, or still tried to.

“What if they haven't stepped in?” I asked, my voice quieter now, though the accusation was still there. “Shining Armor pulled a sword on me when he first saw me. What if none of them had stepped in? Would you have still just let it happen?”

Luna was openly crying now, tears spilling down her cheeks, but her voice remained steady as she explained herself. "I did what I could to save you, Edgar," she whispered, her voice shaking with regret but resolute. "I had to trust the others—Shining Armor, Cadance, Twilight. I had to believe they would step in, that they would see what was truly happening and protect you. But if, for even a moment, I thought you were in the truest danger, I would have stepped in myself. I would have broken my vow to never fight Celestia again."

She paused, her voice thick with emotion. "I love my sister deeply, and I swore after everything that happened between us that I would never raise my hoof against her again. We love each other too much to truly harm one another... but this was different. The stakes were so high. I could not sit idly by if your life was truly at risk." Her wing rose from the water to wipe her tears but they kept flowing. She looked at me, her eyes filled with guilt, determination, and something else—something raw. "If Celestia had come any closer, if she had truly meant to kill you, I would have broken every vow. I would have begged for your life. I would have admitted it was all my fault, that I lied, that I did everything to manipulate the situation to protect you."

Luna’s voice trembled as she continued, "When Celestia... when she tipped her weapon in your blood, I almost broke. I was ready to stop it all, to do whatever it took. But then Twilight..." Luna’s voice softened, a hint of relief in her tone, "Twilight stepped in. She was the last voice of reason, the one who tipped the balance. Without her and the bond our sister and Twilight have, I couldn’t have exercised the Geis on Celestia. Twilight saved us Edgar. She saved myself, you, and Celestia from making a terrible mistake. So long as you remain my Consort, my sister can't hurt you."

The weight of her confession pressed heavily on me, and despite the anger that still simmered inside, I could feel my defenses cracking. She hadn’t just stood by to watch me suffer—she had been trapped, just like me, forced to rely on others to save us both. Still, it didn’t erase the pain of her lies or the sense of betrayal I felt deep inside.

“I still don't know what a Royal Consort is...” I asked, quieter than I’d intended. “Why keep me in the dark? Why not give me a choice or tell me what you wanted to do?”

Luna looked away for a moment, Her ears flattening and her jaw tightening as if she were struggling to find the right words. Luna swallowed hard, her tear-streaked face crumpling under the weight of my question. For a moment, she couldn’t meet my eyes. Her gaze fell to the rippling water between us, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind, struggling to find the right words. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft but steady, laced with regret.

“I didn’t give you a choice because... it wouldn’t have mattered in the end,” she admitted, her voice a quiet tremor. “If you had said Yes, it would have only made things worse. You would have been seen as a conspirator—manipulating me for your own gain. Celestia, the other royals... they would have believed the worst about you. You would have become the very thing they feared—a guileful coward, using me as a hostage to protect yourself, just as she accused you of using Princess Twilight Sparkle as....”

Her words stung, but I let her continue. There was more she needed to say. More that I needed to hear.

“And if you had said no...” Luna’s voice cracked slightly, her eyes flicking up to meet mine."...then you would have been left vulnerable, Edgar," Luna finished, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Without the protection of your status as my Consort—without the geis on my sister, Celestia would have felt free to act as she saw was necessary. You would have been left to the mercy of her past... I couldn't risk that. I couldn't allow you to face her alone, unprotected, knowing what might happen if she perceived you as even a slight threat. I thought... that if you didn’t know, you would remain blameless. A victim, forced into this position. They wouldn’t hate you. You would have protection—perhaps even sympathy. If you couldn’t make the choice, then you couldn’t be condemned for it."

I stared down at the water, the ripples scattering my tangled thoughts across the surface. What Luna had done… in a twisted way, it made sense. But I hated how she’d done it, how she’d decided that I had to be the victim.

Luna watched me, her eyes filled with what looked like genuine remorse, but I could only shake my head. “You made me look pathetic... I was naked and afraid..."

Luna’s ears flattened, her gaze dropping back to the water. “I understand if you feel angered, Edgar. You should. There’s no excuse I can give you that will make this right. What I did was wrong… but I couldn’t let Celestia harm you. I needed you to be safe.”

“Why!? Did it ever cross your mind to just tell me the truth? To give me a choice?” I demanded.

Her face fell. “If you’d known, Edgar, what would you have done? Tell us truthfully.”

I opened my mouth to answer, but stopped, the words suddenly caught in my throat. I didn’t know. Maybe I would’ve tried to run, or maybe I’d have faced down Celestia and ended up skewered... But I can't get that moment from just before she found us out of my head. “I thought… maybe there was a chance to prove myself? Get on her good side. Am I stupid for thinking that?"

Luna hesitated, her voice faltering, and I saw the flicker of sadness in her eyes. “I… I do not know, Edgar,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “She is a good pony, truly, but… fear can change even the kindest of hearts. I did not expect her compassion this morning. That wasn't an act, and she seemed ready to give you that chance. She was willing to see you as more than a threat, more than… whatever her past has made her believe about humans. But when she found us together…”

Her words trailed off, and a pang of regret twisted in my chest. “So… I ruined it because we fucked,” I muttered bitterly.

“No, Edgar,” Luna’s voice was firm, her gaze intense. “You did not ruin anything. I made that choice. I was the one who put us in that position. If there is blame to be had, it is mine alone.” Her voice softened, a hint of sorrow in her tone. “I fear… I may have shattered whatever trust my sister might have had in us. And for that, I am truly sorry.”

The silence weighed heavy in the air, broken only by the occasional drip of water echoing off the smooth tile. I looked at Luna, feeling a mix of emotions so tangled I couldn’t even name half of them. She’d gone so far—too far—to protect me. Or so she kept saying. But what if this ‘protection’ was just her way of justifying something else, something my touch had twisted??

I took a slow breath, keeping my voice as steady as I could. “Luna… why did you do all of this? I mean… making me a ‘Royal Consort.’ I still don’t even know what that means.”

Luna’s expression softened, and before she could respond, Twilight’s voice broke in from the edge of the bath. “The basic idea is that you’re… well, her royal colt-friend on paper,” she said gently. “Legally, you’re exclusive to her—only her—unless she gives permission otherwise. Normally, that means that ponies are barred from even touching you in a suggestive manner without her consent.” Twilight frowned, looking away as if searching for the right words. “But even I can’t say what else it means for you yet. Each consort’s contract is unique when drafted and usually tailored for the consort and the initiating royal, by the rest of the royals. You don't have one yet.”

“So, I’m gonna be bound to you and whatever rules they decide?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended. “You put a leash on me by lying to me! That’s what all of this was for? So you can have a pet colt-friend that you can train?!?”

“We would neverdo-" Luna started to raise her voice in frustration, but stopped herself with a hoof to her mouth when she saw how she startled me. She looked horrified for a moment before turning away from me. She took a deep breath in and out, shutting her eyes as she took a moment to calm herself. "We're...I'm sorry, Edgar. That wasn't right. You don't deserve that from us but we beg of thee...Please don't say I would wish to use you or own you. I don't." She spoke with a restrained, quiet voice that seemed to strain against her.

Through sheer will, I uncurled my hands away from the edge of the tub and forced myself to calm my nerves, and take a deep breath.

"I made you my consort to protect you and others...” she began, her voice soft but unwavering. She looked away as if gathering her thoughts. “I thought of Trixie,” she continued, her voice a bit unsteady. “Her behavior toward you became intense quickly, Edgar. At the time, I didn’t understand why, and I feared what might happen if other ponies developed feelings for you too—feelings too quickly that they might not be able to control. I… I acted out of a mix of motives, but I feared other ponies feelings for thee. I believed that I could weather the affects of your touch, since I knew full well what it was like to be corrupted by overwhelming emotions, but our niece seems to have...” She trailed off, clearly struggling with how to explain it. "I know now that there may be something real behind what I felt for thee, even if it is complicated and hard to express."

...So not only is Celestia under magical restraining order, but everyone else who would attempt to touch me is under a legal restraining order, it sounds like. This is...surprisingly well thought out, given how little time she had to enact this little scheme. I was having a hard time arguing, but...even if it almost made sense, I don't know if I can accept it.

"Did Luna tell you all the same thing?" I turned to Twilight, only to be answered by a quiet nod. "...Luna said she likes me?" Twilight gave another sad nod and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. “I just don't know what to believe..." I said, though my voice had softened as I turned back to Luna. "The times when we were together, I felt so happy when I was with you. Maybe I was too quick..."

I was half-way hoping Twilight would step in and call out a lie Luna told somewhere in the middle of all this, but no. Luna liked me back, and that makes this a whole lot worse.

I thought that maybe there was something real between us. But now that I was seeing Luna’s true motivations, the situation seemed twisted and complicated.

I shifted slightly, folding my arms, a futile attempt to keep something grounded in all of this.

“The worst part is, I don't think I can blame you. Not when we know about my "touch" in the first place. How can you or I believe your feelings are real? You were trying to talk me out of liking you this morning, but you still showered me with affection. I still felt like you wanted something more...That's still my "touch", right?" I paused, pressing my lips together, like maybe holding back could keep me from slipping. "So how can I know if you even believe there is something real there in all this? What was it you called it? A "beautiful lie"?”

Luna’s expression softened, the vulnerability in her eyes deepening as she looked at me. “I know how it must look,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It must seem as though I’ve used you, ensnared you… and you are right to question it. But what we shared feels real to me, even if I tried to deny it...” She looked down, a sadness weighing in her gaze. “If it is all due to your touch, then I am foolish to hope otherwise.” She looked back up, her voice steady yet soft, filled with quiet determination. “But, Edgar, I swear… I would never bind you in a way that you couldn’t escape. If you wish to have nothing to do with me after this, I would understand. If, one day, when you are able to leave… I will not hold you back if you choose to do so."

Luna's body raises higher from the water and she held her hoof against the red teeth marks I left on her chest. "Everything we have done was for thine best intentions in mind. No matter how awful it was for thee, know we would have put ourselves in your position if we could. This is not a lie either, and we did our best to make sure you were not punished for our choices... Even if these feelings are false as my sister had warned, this is the least could do for one as selfless as thee. ”

If her words didn't strike me like a bolt, her pointing to that bite mark did. My hand went back to my own mark back on my shoulder muscle, and I started to get a clearer picture of why this was all happening in the first place. All I could feel was a rising wave of… guilt and shittiness.

We fucked...we bonded... and we ruined things. She ruined things for a "selfless hero".

She still thinks I'm a mighty swordsmen, and just being with me forced her to into a situation where she couldn't back down. She put so much faith in me, seeing me as some hero who deserved her protection. She lied, but at least it was for a better reason than when I did. I was too much of a coward to tell them the truth...

I feel like a fraud compared to her.

I swallowed hard.

"You messed up Luna...You made the wrong choice in trying to protect me..." My throat tightened, and it was almost impossible to force the words out. “Luna, Twilight… I—”

"Can I speak?" Twilight interrupted me with a fast request, and the words died in my throat again.

Twilight’s ears flicked before she cleared her throat and filling the gap left by our silence. She turned back to us with a thoughtful expression, yet she still seemed conflicted. It was like she was struggling to figure out how to say whatever was on her mind. When Luna’s eyes finally met hers, Twilight spoke.

“I think...Luna did tell another lie just now,” Twilight said carefully, her voice steady but tinged with a hint of sorrow. Luna’s puffy eyes widened slightly. "I’m sorry, Luna,” Twilight said softly, “but it’s the only way forward for both of you. He needs to know what you were feeling… all of it.”

Luna flinched, like Twilight’s words had cut her more deeply than anything I’d said so far. The muscles in her neck began tensing as if bracing for another blow.

“I think Luna did lie when she said she did all of this only to protect you.” Her eyes didn’t leave Luna’s, and I could see the hurt and the conflict reflected in her gaze. “I believe she was trying to protect you—she’s proven that time and again—but I think she also wanted to protect herself.”

Luna’s breathing quickened, and her ears flattened as Twilight’s words sank in.

“Luna, you were afraid for him, but I also think you were afraid of what would happen if you didn't do anything when you knew you could.” Twilight’s voice softened, and I could hear the sadness there. “You were afraid of the guilt, of the heartbreak, of feeling powerless if something happened to him.”

I watched Luna's face as Twilight kept talking. She looked sad before...but now she looked worse.

Twilight pressed on. “I understand... It’s terrifying.” She looked down, as if recalling a painful memory of her own. “I already told you what happened. I was forced to either drop the shield and let my friends be taken by the changelings or watch friends outside be tortured and killed one by one. In Hindsight, I still don't know if I made the right choice. If it was just me putting myself at risk, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but it wasn't just me. Anything would have been better than knowing you had the power to protect somepony and not do anything. You made your decision because you were afraid of feeling the same pain and guilt.”

Luna’s expression crumpled, her ears flattening against her head as she turned away. I could see her struggling, her wings fluttering against the water as if she was trying to find a way to escape the room.

“When Cadance confronted you, she said you were being selfish and that you weren’t thinking about Edgar in that moment. It didn't make sense to me at first, but after arguing with Princess Celestia and hearing your reasons now, I think I get it; Sometimes, fear and grief... they change us. They make us act out of desperation. And good ponies, even princesses, can end up doing bad things if they think they have to.”

Luna’s eyes began to water. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead, she looked down at the water, her body trembling. “I... I—” she choked, and before she could finish, her hooves went to her eyes. She covered them, and quiet sobs escaped her.

She looked back at Luna, her eyes searching, her tone gentle but firm. "You did your best to save him the only way you thought you could. You told us earlier that you were the only pony that'd be punished for her actions, who'd suffer for them, and that's when Cadance slapped you. I think you want to be right, but it wasn't just you hurt by this. It wasn't just us or Trixie either. You really hurt the stallion you were trying to protect.”

Twilight must have hit the nail right on the head.

The sound of Princess Luna's wails filled the room, and it was the most gut-wrenching thing I’d heard. Luna, who had always seemed so strong and composed, who had saved me countless times, now looked completely shattered. The sobs were raw, and they echoed off the bathroom walls, cutting through the steam and the silence. She whispered and choked, “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry,” over and over, almost like she was speaking to herself as much as to us.

"Luna..."I clenched my jaw, staring hard at the water as her apologies continued to echo around us. The sight of her breaking down like this... It felt wrong. It felt unfair. It felt heart-wrenching.

Everything I went through felt small compared to what she's going through. Luna’s flipped her life upside-down for my sake. She didn't want me to die, and she’d thrown herself into this because she thought I was some kind of hero. She thought that much of me.

I’d felt weak, terrified, helpless... but was it fair to weigh that against everything Luna had sacrificed? I’d told her a story that was barely half-true, and now she was the one carrying the burden of it.

Twilight’s voice brought me back to the present, her tone gentle, almost pleading. “Edgar... I know this doesn’t fix things, and I’m not asking you to forgive her, but she's not a bad pony. She's just...afraid, and made a lot of mistakes. Whether it’s love, friendship, or just duty, she really does seem to care about you. Cadance wouldn't have considered leaving you alone with her if she thought otherwise." She paused, glancing back at Luna, who was still wiping tears from her eyes. "Even if we are all having a very hard time trusting her right now, we can't say she lied about that, and maybe that’s enough for now. Enough to start moving forward from all of this.”

I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to breathe, to keep my emotions in check. The room felt too claustrophobic now, and everything felt like a mess.

I want things to go back to how I thought Equestria would be like. Even if Celestia wasn't the Celestia I was expecting, she was still Celestia to these ponies.

Twilight was still Twilight, and Luna...she's still Luna.

...

I wiped my eyes.

What the hell could I do to fix what I broke just by being here?

...

No answers came to mind as I listened to Luna sob. Eventually, the crying finally slowed to a halt.

After a few more moments of tense, overbearing silence later Luna spoke once more, sniffling as she had done so in attempts to regain her composure.

"...M-may I have the bottle of shampoo?" she asked gently, her eyes flicking toward the shampoo sitting beside me. "You know the "why" of it now. I would not ask you to wash me, but... I would still like to cleanse myself. I don't want to walk back like this." The tension between us was thick, and I could feel the weight of her waiting—waiting for something from me. Forgiveness, understanding, maybe just a sign that I wasn't as angry with her as I was trying to make myself. "I won't bother thee any further...I promise."

I wanted to try and force myself to speak, but it was like I was frozen. Soon, a purple glow started to envelop the bottle as Twilight’s magic carefully lifted it, making my choice for me and begging me to do something...stupid.

The lavender shampoo didn’t make it more than a foot away before my arm reflexively shot out to grab it. My fingers clumsily closed around it, pulling it back toward me, earning surprised looks from Twilight, who had suddenly turned toward me after feeling her grip disappear.

"E-Edgar?" Twilight asked, her voice uncertain, her ears twitching nervously.

I stared at the bottle in my hands for a moment, my heart hammering in my chest. Even with an audience of two, it felt like too much, but I forced myself to act.

"Don't worry Twilight. L-Luna can have it in a moment after I-ayyy What The Fuck!?!"

With a small flick of my wrist, I purposefully let the bottle slip out of my hand as I kept fumbling it purposefully clumsy, juggling it with my palms instead of grabbing it. Thick, gooey shampoo squirted out all over the place—across the tub, my arms, shoulder, even my head once again. I let it happen, watching as the lavender foam spread like some kind of ridiculous accident.

"AAAAH jeeeez. Knyoh fuch! " I shouted, pretending to struggle with the bottle. "Fucking... Jinkies. Thought I could grab some more before handing it over, but...NO, GOD DAMN IT!" I gave the bottle another fumble, letting more shampoo ooze out as I half-caught it only to let it slip out of my hands again like a soap. "None of you have fingers! Why the hell did you make these bottles so slippery!?"

I felt like I was starring in a live-action version of The Three Stooges, pulling a slapstick routine right here in the tub. Shampoo flew everywhere, landing in Luna's wings, on the walls—hell, I was half-expecting the gel to land in my own eyes, but thankfully most landed all over me.

"...Edgar, what the hay are you doing?" Twilight asked, annoyed but trying to keep a straight face. "This isn't the time for this, so stop touching the bottle so I can help—" her voice started to trail off after she realized what I was doing...before a smile made it's way onto her face.

"Shut up, Twilight! I'm trying to concentrate...GOT IT!" I finally got hold of the bottle once more, but I squeezed it as hard as I can possibly can, letting it the gel spurt out like a sooper-soaker and squirt across the water. I meant to aim it in an arc over Luna's head and onto her back, but instead it pooled into a small swirly pile on the top of Luna's head before it started to almost melt and slid down either side of her mane.

Luna blinked, watching the shampoo drip down my arms and shoulders, her bewildered expression softening. It was like she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She didn’t seem to mind the pile cascading down her mane. Although her eyes twitched reflexively at the droplets that landed near them, they stayed fixated on me as they following the slow trail of lavender shampoo as it slid down my shoulders and into the water.

"...Fuck...Sorry Luna. I've gone and made a mess of things." I muttered, glancing over at her with a dramatic whine. "...And I just got clean too. It's going to take forever to "Ab-lute" myself and clean this out of my hair... I've only been here for like an hour' and a half, but it feels like I've been in this bath for fucking months, and now I still have to wallow in cleanliness and lavender?!?" I pointed at the very small streams of gel sliding down my own hair, letting the ridiculous complaint hang in the air compared to Luna's own shampoo waterfall. "...I don't know what to do..."

My eyes flicked up to meet hers, feeling my heart beat just a little faster as I hoped she would catch on.

Luna’s eyes widened slightly, and the corner of her mouth twitched, like she was holding back a smile. The tension between us disappeared a little, and the air felt lighter than it had since she walked in. She seemed to understand what I was doing—what I was offering.

“Perhaps... we could assist thee?" Luna’s eyes softened, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "If thoust would allow.”

I paused for a moment, then gave her a slight nod. “Yeah, maybe.” It wasn’t an answer to everything—not yet—but it was something. "You're a mess yourself...and a big mare. If you still can't use magic...then maybe I can help you and make things quicker. I should probably clean that bite too."

Her lips twitched, trying to settle on either a soft smile or something more restrained. For a moment, her vulnerability cracked, replaced by the faintest glimmer of amusement.

Twilight, watching the scene unfold, raised an eyebrow but kept her tone soft. “Are you sure, Edgar? You know this is—it's not legally or magically binding for you, but... it's important. You're forgiving each other, and saying that you'll willing to move past things.” She glanced between us with quiet apprehension, clearly concerned about what this meant. "Even if you both didn't think of each other like that, you'd still be each other's special somepony in spirit."

I let out a wry chuckle, swirling a bit of the soapy water with my finger. “Oh, believe me, Twilight, I’m well aware. If the look Cadance gave me when I called this a fancy bath was any indication...”

Luna’s eyes widened, then she snorted—a sound so uncharacteristic and unexpected that her hoof flew up to cover her mouth, her eyes crinkling in amusement. “You did not say that in front of our niece.” she finally guffawed, barely keeping a small chuckle at bay.

“Yeah.” I tried to hold back a smile of my own as I looked at her, noticing how the laughter softened her face, even if just for a second. “You know, I still like your smile. I'd like to see it more.” I added quietly, feeling a bit of my own tension ease as I said it.

Luna’s mirth faded, replaced by a subtle yet visible guilt in her gaze. The hint of laughter had vanished as fast as it had come, and I could tell by the way she held herself that she didn’t want to mess up whatever else needed to happen... It made it clear to me that this Ablution had to happen.

Twilight cleared her throat, her tone thoughtful but direct. “Well, if you’re sure...” Twilight gave me a skeptical look, then levitated a spare loofah over with her magic and tossed it at me, letting it splash into the water near my arm. “Well then, why don’t you start with this?” she said with a faint, knowing smile.

Luna began to wade towards me, but I still felt a strange apprehension, which grew as she drew nearer. I tried keeping a straight face, but... It still felt like something was off to me. That there was something missing. When she finally was touching distance, she gave me a tentative expression, then pressed the loofah gently against my arm.

I pulled back, the action appearing to both surprise Twilight and seemingly hurting them both.

This still wasn't right... Not when I'm the reason this all happened in the first place.

If this "ablution" is so important for them, if it was to be supposed to be about accepting our past and forgiving each other, than it didn't feel right doing this. Not while I haven't been honest either.

I swallowed hard, forcing the words out.

“I want to trust you, Luna,” I said quietly, my voice rough with emotion. “I want to make things right between us. I want to believe that the Luna loved hearing about Batman, or the Luna that invited me to Nightmare Night... that she’s still here and real.”

Luna looked up at me through her tears. “I-I'm still here, Edgar,” she whispered. “And I... I want to be a better friend to you. I vowed this to you as you slept peacefully...”

Look at her.... trying so hard. It wasn’t fair to keep letting her shoulder this alone. It hurt to see her like this. Broken and torn up, and guilty while I stayed quiet. I can't deny that she sacrificed a lot for me, I didn’t deserve the kind she was willing to make.

"But it's not fair to ask that of you if I can't even tell you the truth about me either..." I finally got out.

Twilight’s eyes widened, and she leaned forward slightly, her face showing a mixture of surprise and concern. The bath felt stifling, and I struggled to find my voice, feeling the weight of the lie, the weight of everything that had brought me here.

...But there was no turning back now. If telling them cost me... then maybe that was what I’d earned. It was time to be a little more honest with myself.

"I think that you only feel things for me..." I cleared my throat, forcing myself to continue. “That you only did this in the first place because you thought I was… well, some hero. I told you I took down a whole changeling invasion on my own… but I didn’t.” The words felt bitter on my tongue, and I could feel the shame creeping up my neck. “I was an idiot who acted without thinking, and the only reason Ponyville is still standing is because of my dumb luck.” I looked down, unable to meet their eyes as I went on. “Luna… you still had to save me. I was still helpless without you. I let you think I was a hero...but I lied. It was all just a car.”

As the confession slipped out, I felt my heart drop. The realization hit me like a punch to the gut: everything that had gone wrong—it was because of me. Luna had ruined her relationships with the other royals, placed a curse on her own sister, and bound us both in this twisted, desperate pact. All of this, and for what? Some "badass" who didn’t even exist...

I wasn’t a mighty warrior worth risking anything over. I was just a guy who’d been lucky enough to survive, propped up by
piece of machinery and a bizarre coincidence. If I’d told the truth from the start, Luna wouldn’t have needed to do any of it. Luna might have still been nice and understanding to me, and Celestia might have still given me a chance to prove myself. The other royals wouldn't have been so angry at her for what she did. She wouldn’t even have needed to feel like protecting me in the first place.

It was all my fault...

I could barely bring myself to look at her, my voice coming out low and raw. “Luna, all of this… it probably wouldn’t have happened if I’d just told you the truth. I never wanted to… to drag you into my mess, to make you ruin things with Celestia. I just wanted to feel like a hero. I didn’t deserve any of this… not your protection, not your trust, and not your apologies. None of it. I'm so sorry.”

"...Is that all?" Luna asked.

I braced myself for anger, for disappointment. Instead, I noticed Twilight and Luna exchange a silent nod, like they’d come to some quiet understanding. When I finally met Luna’s gaze, expecting resentment, all I saw was something steady, even gentle—a quiet understanding in her eyes.

“Edgar,” she murmured softly, her voice calm, “We knew.”

My mouth opened and closed without making a sound. My mind reeled, and I couldn’t quite comprehend what she was saying. “W-what?” I stammered, stunned.

Luna nodded, but before she could speak, Twilight began with her soft but thoughtful tone. “I had… a theory,” she said, glancing at Luna before looking back at me. “Scarlett Blush’s report described the scenes in detail, including the deep tracks your… Miniature locomotive left in the dirt and grass, and the damage it sustained.” She hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “It didn’t line up with what you said about fighting them directly. The changelings’ remains have massive cracks, as if hit by a tree. When combined with that… machine part you mentioned having a changeling horn stuck inside it...a Kam-shaft, I think was how it was written, it made me think… maybe you had some help.”

Luna nodded in agreement, her expression gentle but knowing. “And I, too, had my suspicions when we first met, but it didn't matter.” she continued. “The filly you rescued had a nightmare later in the night. It was abstract, a blend of terror and awe, but one image was clear: a figure standing between her and an awful smile, at great risk to himself. One that she begged not to give up as she was trapped in a glass cage. ” She paused, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “Edgar, I have fought changelings myself. I know their tactics. I did not truly think you could have held off their forces by might alone...but it didn't matter to me.”

I stared at her, uncomprehending. “But… then why?” The words came out choked, thick with disbelief and shame. “Why would you go so far?”

Luna’s expression softened, her gaze gentle and unwavering. She seemed to consider moving closer but held her distance, her eyes full of quiet understanding. “Bravery… isn’t something measured by victories alone,” she began softly. “Sometimes it’s simply having the resolve to stand your ground when nopony else can, to protect others even when there’s every reason to turn away.”

Her voice lowered, carrying a warmth that softened the words. “You may not see yourself as a hero, Edgar. But that little filly in Ponyville does. During her nightmare, she called out for the ones she trusts. Her sister, her brother... and the ‘hoo-man’. ” Her gaze lingered on mine, sadness flickering in her eyes. “She wanted you to save her because she believes in you. That is what it means to inspire others. To give hope, to make others feel less alone.”

Luna’s voice wavered, a quiet admiration filling her words. “I may have doubted the details of your story, yes. But knowing that you risked yourself for her—for them... that, to me, is heroism."

She took a deep, steadying breath, her eyes steady on mine. “From yesterday to now, I believed that my desire had been to protect you… from dangers you may not even see, things you cannot always protect yourself from. You have already proven you can protect others, Edgar… and that you would risk your own life to do it. But you shouldn’t have to face it all alone. Even if you do not love me as you thought anymore, I would still stand by you, to save you from what you cannot always see. Nopony should be without somepony who can protect them, whom they can trust.”

Luna held up the loofah once more, her expression fragile but hopeful. "Please, Edgar. Let us be that mare for thee." Her voice was barely a whisper, carrying the weight of her apology and, maybe, her longing for something more.

I looked at my own. The steam didn't seem to strangle us anymore, and instead curled around us in a strange, quiet intimacy. Even now, a part of me was hesitant. Sure, we’d been through… well, everything in such a short time. The highest highs, the deepest lows. But did that mean I was ready for whatever this “Royal Consort” thing was? Especially when it all happened so fast? Just me touching her might be messing this up.

...

So I took a slow, steady breath.

"Luna, I thought I wanted to spend more time with you, and I thought that I was falling in love with you, but after what happened because of us, I don't know. Maybe you had a point that I should have been giving this more thought. It’s too soon to start thinking of ourselves like "special someponies" right now." The words hung in the air, and I could see her face fall, just a fraction, her eyes darting down to the loofah in my hands. That fragile hope started to flicker out, and she bit her lip as if to hold back a response.

Then, without another word, I pressed the sponge to her coat. “But maybe… if it's okay with you, maybe we could try something a little easier first.” She blinked, her eyes lifting to meet mine, that sadness slowly melting into confusion. “Like friends?” I offered, quirking a tentative smile.

The bath was quiet for a moment, then I watched as her expression softened, a glimmer of something warm and hesitant breaking through. "Friends," she echoed, her voice thick with relief and—was that hope?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Twilight smile. Maybe it was relief, maybe she was just glad that the tension was starting to let up. Either way, she didn’t interfere, just watched with that thoughtful look that meant she was filing away notes or getting ready to share some “insight” on friendship later.

“Yes… Yes, Edgar, I… I would like that very much.” Luna agreed. She pressed her own Loofah into my chest...and we got started cleaning each other.

Being mostly skin and some hair, it took Luna almost zero time to clean me from the shampoo I spilt on us.

The issue was with me cleaning her, but not because it was hard.

I could have finished washing Luna a while ago, and I know that I should have. She's got to get some sleep, and her mane and coat could shimmer under the nearly pristine bath water if I choose to stop. But something felt oddly therapeutic about washing her. She even gave me tips on how to preen her as well...which is also something that close friends do, apparently.

I almost completed a full circle around her at this point, I felt myself finding more reasons to slow down before it was finished. Each stroke of the brush, the loofah, and even my fingers combing through her mane and tail felt like I was less trying to scrub away any dirt from her once pristine coat, but more about exploring each other further and showing our trust.

Luna was oddly quiet now. She had been during the whole process, not including her instructions on wing care and identifying what should be cleaned and what she should take care of herself. It was my first time washing a pony, so I just took everything in stride as best I can and assumed this was normal.

She didn't seem upset anymore though. Even her breathing became more steady, though the air between us was still thick with things she still wanted to say, I guess. I could feel her tension loosening under my touch, but she was getting more and more relaxed around me, and her eyes were no longer strained or puffy. In fact, she was starting to look more and more beautiful as her hair hung low and floated in the surface of the water.

Maybe there was something to this "fancy bath".

Finally, I came face to face I combed my fingers through her mane one last time, to confirm that no more dirt or "me" was hidden anywhere. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, placing the cloth down beside me. “There. You’re clean now.”

“Oh, that’s great, Edgar!” Twilight exclaimed. The poor mare hadn’t seemed to know quite what to do with herself the entire time we were washing each other, just sitting in the corner twiddling her hooves, whistling and staring at the ceiling.

From the glances she exchanged with Luna, I could tell she knew this was supposed to be a private moment, but she was here because of the “circumstances.” The whole time, she was trying her best to be both helpful and unobtrusive, bless her heart. And yet...she just couldn’t help herself—and continued backseat cleaning for me and for Luna.

Be gentle with the horn, being respectful around our "genitals"(much to our chagrin), and offering up other brands of shampoos and coat washes she has in the cupboards...And yes, they were still all lavender-scented.

Having her here wasn't all bad though, since Twilight watching us was a good excuse to not get carried away...even if it was a bit distracting to have her watching us. At least she wasn't making a big deal about it, and I could tell that she was just being a good friend to both of us. Additionally, as it was related, she's even been doing her best to make sure I understood that a "Royal Consort contract" as they called it, wasn't supposed to be nefarious or anything. She bounced a couple ideas my way, with the the stuff ranging from not doing crimes to learning more about equestrian culture. It almost sounded like a "don't be a dick" agreement. Luckily, I think I have a better idea than most people would anyway, even if my MLP knowledge seemed a bit lacking in comparison to how complicated this world felt. Twilight had been so patient and supportive so far, and I was grateful for her presence.

You'd think she was the Princess of Friendship or something.

"Let's test it out. Can you use your magic now, Luna?" Twilight asked.

Luna appeared to hesitate, and suddenly her horn started to glow. She used her magic to turn on the showerhead and rinse us off one last time. "...I see. We're done already."

"I guess we are. Should I help you dry off?" I asked her.

Luna's wings started twitching nervously at her sides as she looked down at the water, gathering her thoughts. After a long pause, her horn glowed once more, and suddenly Twilight's started to as well.

A few moments went by, but then, Twilight seemed to nod her head.

"Edgar..." She began cautiously, her eyes searching mine with a mixture of vulnerability and longing. "Before I leave, I have one last request. Just once more... before we part, may I hold thee?

“You want to hug me?” I asked. "Is that going to be a problem, Twilight?"

Twilight looked between us, her expression a mix of uncertainty and hope. “I… I don’t know, Edgar. You’ve touched each other quite a bit while cleaning each other, but… a hug?” Her eyes shifted to Luna, who was staring at her with a quiet intensity. Twilight’s brow furrowed, and then her magic enveloped the loofahs and soap bars, floating them gently towards the edge of the tub where they landed with a soft clink.

Twilight glanced back at me, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before she gave a small nod. “It’s okay, I think,” she said hesitantly, but her words carried a hint of conviction. “If you want to give her a hug, Edgar, I won’t stop you. This is important for the both of you.”

Luna’s ears perked, and I saw her gaze soften as she looked back at me. “Please, Edgar,” she said, a faint tremor in her voice. "We feel we may not have another chance for a while at least.” Her eyes shone with something like hope.

"Are you sure, though? I mean—what if it’s just my touch, messing with you??” The words felt awkward, but they needed to be said. “How do you know if this is real?”

Luna’s expression softened as she stepped closer. “Even so…” Her gaze flicked down, her voice dropping to a murmur. “I know that I feel, Edgar. I know that I do care. And if my feelings may be exaggerated… all the same, I wish to offer you comfort.” She lifted her head, her voice growing steadier. “And perhaps, selfishly, I’d like to feel your warmth one more time. I won’t beg, but if you feel the same… please, let us both have this small reprieve. Just once more, I wish to hold thee.”

The moment stretched between us, filled with unspoken emotions and lingering tensions.

I finally nodded, holding my arms out and offering her a small smile of reassurance. “Alright, Luna,” I said softly. “Let's hug it out.”

Luna's eyes lit up, her face brightening with a mixture of joy and relief. Without a moment’s hesitation, she stepped closer to me, her hooves padding gently. One after the other, her forehooves rested themselves on my shoulders as she leaned her weight into me. As I supported her, she relaxed, her wings folding gently to create a warm cocoon around me.

It felt like while I was supporting her, she was supporting me as well. I felt protected. The warmth of her body pressed against mine, and for the first time in what felt like days, I allowed myself to relax, just a little. So I hugged her back, snaking my arms through the feathers and around her back and neck.

At first, the hug felt tentative—careful, as if we didn’t want to break the truce we have now. But as the moments passed, I felt her hold begin to tighten as if she were drawing strength from the contact.

Then, I felt it.

A tremble, barely noticeable at first, ran through her body.

Her words came out in halting breaths, as if she were struggling to hold herself together. “I… I’m sorry, Edgar. I don’t want to cry—I wanted to keep myself together, I wanted to…” Her wings, which had been steady, began to quiver slightly. And her breath, which had been soft, turned into a muffled sob. I felt the tears, wet against my neck, as she pressed her face against me. The hug was no longer a simple gesture of comfort—it was a desperate grasp for solace.

“I had thought that finishing this together, washing away all this… shame, would somehow make things better between us," she whispered, her voice breaking. "But I don’t feel right. I still feel… lost. I had always imagined... I had always dreamed of a day when I could share this moment with somepony I loved. To be close to them as I am with you now...But not like this. Not like this.”

“Luna,” I murmured, my hand stroking her mane, trying to soothe her. “It’s okay.” I felt her body shake, and I was having a hard time keeping myself together too now.

“I'm...afraid. I fear I have broken my sister's trust in me so greatly that I may not be able to mend it.” Her voice dropped, almost inaudible, and her eyes met mine. “I fear that even if I am even truly forgiven, I'll never be truly be trusted again, by our family or you.” Her body trembled against mine and she pulled me even closer, holding me as if she feared I might disappear. “Twilight may say that I am not a bad pony, but I am not always a kind pony either. I… I know I am capable of cruelty, I warned you as much.” she choked out, her voice raw. “You have seen it now, felt it—” her voice faltered as she held her words at bay. “You may no longer feel angry anymore, but are…" Luna choked back a sob , as if she was truly afraid of what she was going to say. "...Are you afraid of me now?”

...Words just felt cheap, so I chose to act.

I lunged forward before I could question myself and pressed my lips against Luna's. Our lips met awkwardly, my teeth accidentally clicking against hers, and the small shock caused me to realize what I'd just done. I started to lean away, but her wing raised from behind me, cupping the back of my head and holding me steady as she deepened the kiss, soft and tender. She tilted her head as I closed my eyes to match her own.

When her muzzle pulled away from mine, and her wing fell back behind her. For a moment, her eyes widen, her expression a mix of surprise and awe. “Edgar...you—”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that right after saying friends was a better starting point...” I admitted. “I just… No." I whispered, meaning it with every shaky breath.

“You... you’re not afraid,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Even after everything...”

“No, even if you think I should be.” I told her. I shook my head, my heart still pounding in my chest while I could feel my face heating up. I didn't mind though.

Luna pressed her forehead against mine, her eyes meeting mine. “Thank you...Thank you.” she whispered. Then, her eyes closed, and the tension in her body seemed to fade.

We stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads touching, sharing the same breath.

"Ummm..." A voice interjected, breaking the spell that had momentarily fallen over us. It's tone was hesitant, but there was an undercurrent of urgency.

Twilight, who had been quietly watching, suddenly cleared her throat. "You didn't mention you'd be kissing. We still don't understand your touch as much as we should… and I think we've pushed our luck enough for one day." Twilight’s face flushed as she spoke, her eyes darting from us to the floor. "Shouldn't you both dry off?"

Her words yanked me back to reality, the air between Luna and me suddenly filled with an awkward tension. Twilight wasn’t wrong, and as I glanced down, I could feel my face heating up uncomfortably.

"Right. Drying off,” I muttered, looking away and feeling a sudden rush of embarrassment.

Luna’s wings had already started to pull back, and she dipped her head slightly, her gaze flicking over to Twilight with a mix of gratitude and restraint. “Yes, of course. I suppose it is time we… finish up.” Her voice was soft, but I could hear the reluctance in it, and something about that made my chest tighten.

Twilight’s smile was small but supportive as she passed over a couple of folded towels and laid them in front of us, her eyes noticeably more focused on the floor than on either of us. “Sorry,” she said, trying to fill the silence with an upbeat tone. “I’ll, um, give you two a moment to, you know, get sorted. Just… let me know when I can turn around, Edgar.” She took a cautious step back, and turned away to give us a little more space and privacy.

When we got out, it took Luna hardly anytime to dry herself off. Even from here, I felt she had an almost localized vortex of hot air swirling around her. During which, she kept drying the towel with her magic as she was drying herself, so every stroke left her bone dry as her mane started to retain the ethereal flow it used to have.

I beat her by a hair though, being mostly hairless. Now, all that was left was to find my pants. Wasn't interested in looking like a beach tourist the entire day.

I was encouraged to take the first step out with Twilight and Luna insisting that Stallions should go first. I asked them to go, but they were adamant that they were in the right since they both offered first.

So, I let the door creak open, only to see something... stranger than I was used to.

No royal guards or royal-tee, or any Royal-stab-happy princesses. Instead just above the doorway, was a wizard hat—a familiar, worn-out, star-studded wizard hat. It floated there like some kind of magical sentry, suspended mid-air and spinning silently like a flying saucer.

For a second, none of us moved.

"...I forgot about the Balconies..." Twilight muttered to herself, her voice carrying a mix of realization and exasperation. She shook her head as she kept her eyes on it."Trixieeeee?"

"Trixie?" Princess Luna echoed, raising an eyebrow at the spinning hat above us, her voice tinged with confusion.

"Twilight?" I started to ask, my gaze bouncing between them, but then something prickled in my gut—a deep, inexplicable disturbance in the force, like my soul was sending out a silent scream of warning.

○□ X ↻ □ ○ △ ↬ △ B B △ A

Is... Is that a fucking quick-time event?

Before I could fully process it, the hat gave a sudden, almost comical jerk—then bam! Like a cannon, out shot Trixie like a Great and Powerful cannonball in the shape of a mare, forelegs extended.

"ED-GAAAAAAAAR!" she shouted, her voice booming as she collided with me, clamping her forehooves tightly around my neck. Her back hooves locking onto my waist in a hug that was somewhere between an affectionate embrace and a wrestling hold.

"TRI-XIEEEE?!?" I gasped out, barely able to blink before her impact sent me staggering backward, my feet scrambling for traction that wasn’t there. The world tilted as we tumbled back, my arms flailing, reaching for anything to stop the fall.

"SIR EDGAR!" I heard Princess Luna shout, but it was too late.

The water came up to meet me as I landed in the jacuzzi tub with a splash, Trixie clinging to me all the while, and my head plunged beneath the surface. Bubbles erupted around us as I struggled to find my footing, but Trixie only tightened her grip, oblivious to the fact that we were now both submerged.

Through the muffled, underwater haze, I could still hear her yelling, her voice distorted into a bizarre, bubbly warble."Bllbllblee-ed-gaaaalblblbl...!” she cried, her relief somehow undampened by the fact that I could barely make out what she was saying.

I pushed myself back up, breaking the surface with a sharp gasp for air. As I blinked away water from my eyes, I caught sight of Trixie, who also surfaced with a big, deep inhale. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her expression one of pure, uninhibited joy as she tightened her embrace, her hooves wrapped snugly around me once more.

"EDGAAAR!" she shouted again, as if I hadn’t heard her the first few times.

"TRIXIEEEEEE!!!" Twilight added, her tone exasperated, one hoof pressed to her forehead.

"Trixie!" Luna’s voice cut through the commotion, firm and unmistakably disapproving. She stood by the edge of the tub, her eyes narrowed in annoyance, and I caught a hint of barely contained anger simmering beneath her otherwise calm expression.

Trixie’s head whipped around, fixing both of them with a scowl as she let out an indignant huff. “Lunaaaa...” Trixie’s scowl only deepened as she glanced back at Luna, tightening her hold on me with a stubborn little squeeze, almost as if she was trying to shield me from the princess. “LunaAAA…!” she growled.

"Trixie!" I gave her a light push, feeling my patience wear thin. “I just got dried off, okay? Please, it's been emotional enough in here. We don't need you fighting anypony!” I tried to gently pry her off, but her grip only tightened, and even though her eyes were squeezed shut, I heard a break in her voice.

"NO!" Her lower lip quivered as she looked up at me, and before I could say another word, her expression crumpled. “I… I thought you were dead,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “The last thing I remember was Princess Celestia. In your room...with a halberd, and Luna just stood there!” She hugged me even tighter, squeezing her eyes shut as she pressed herself further into me. "You weren't there when I woke up..."

My own frustration faded, a pang of sympathy slipping through. "Trixie...please let go. I'm fine now, and touching me does things to ponies."

"No!" She shook her head against my chest and tightened her hold, like she was holding on for dear life.

Just as I was about to respond, the door burst open, and Cadance and Shining Armor came rushing in, their expressions tense and alert. Shining’s eyes swept the room, but he relaxed slightly upon seeing me intact and soaked again. When his gaze fell on Trixie, still clinging to me in the tub, Twilight sighed.

“It was the balconies,” she said flatly behind the couple.

“…The balconies???" Shining Armor asked in surprise. "HOW? She's a unicorn? How'd she sneak past the guard and get in through the balcony?!?"

"Her hat should have been confiscated by your guard." Twilight began explaining. "She must've turned it into an object of holding way before she even came to Ponyville, and controlled it like a frisbee while she was inside it..." Twilight revealed as a matter of fact. "It's surprising, but out of the realm of possibility. Being a Falling Star and a Magician is a dangerous combo when they already tend to think outside the box."

Cadance hummed.

"You have got to admit, she's creative." Cadance’s gaze flicked briefly to Luna, a quick, unreadable look passing between them, before she turned back to Trixie. Her expression softened as she approached the edge of the tub looking at Trixie. “Sweetie? Are you feeling better now that you know Edgar's okay?” she asked gently, her voice calm and soothing as though speaking to a distraught foal.

She nodded. "Mmmyeah..."

“Do you wanna get out of the tub now?” Cadance coaxed.

Trixie shook her head emphatically, wrapping her forelegs around me again. “I can't keep leaving him alone. He gets hurt when I do...” she mumbled, barely meeting Cadance’s concerned gaze. "What if I'm still dreaming? What if Princess Luna is keeping him all to herself ?" She turned back to me. "What if I wake up and you're not there?!"

"Trixie, you know you're not dreaming." Twilight tried reassuring. “I know you really like him, but—”

But a quick look from both Cadance and Shining Armor silenced her. They cleared their throats meaningfully, both subtly nodding toward Trixie and me.

“I think…” Shining began, his voice deliberately gentle, “This might be a good time for them to meet up, now that we're all here. They probably have some things to say to each other, right?” He looked down at us.

"Mmyeah..." Trixie sniffled and gave a shaky nod, her grip on me loosening just a bit. Her gaze flicked up to meet mine, and I could see the guilt and uncertainty flickering in her eyes. “Edgar… I—I’m sorry. I haven’t been a good friend to you,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know I’ve been a little…difficult. But I’ve been really trying—”

“Trixie,” Luna interjected, her tone firm yet surprisingly gentle, “Perhaps it would be wise to… unhoof Edgar.” Her gaze flickered briefly to me. “You may not like it, but he is my Royal Consort, and his touch will only make things harder for you.”

A light blue glow covered Luna's mouth.

"First of all, even when you managed to put that spell on Auntie Celestia, the Consort title isn't in writing yet. Second of all, shush!" came a curt reply from Cadance. Luna rolled her eyes, before eventually accepting Cadance's decision, though she seemed annoyed by it regardless.

Trixie’s jaw clenched, her face scrunching with irritation as she shot a begrudging look back at Luna, holding onto me as though she couldn’t quite bring herself to let go. “I know I shouldn't be...but I also know it's at least a little real.” she muttered. “But that’s… that’s why I have to do this now. I need to tell him the truth, even if… even if it’s the last time he can see me.” I felt her grip relax slightly as she took a deep breath, gathering her courage. Finally, she looked back up at me, her eyes a mixture of guilt, sadness, and something else I couldn’t quite place, and she let go and waded a few steps back. She took in another breath and shook her head slightly. “Edgar, before anything else... I have something to say.”

The intensity in her eyes threw me off, her usual bravado giving way to something raw and painfully sincere. I watched her gather herself, every word seeming to take effort.

...

But it took a while longer than I thought it would...

“Trixie, if this is about… y’know, your feelings,” I ventured, giving her an awkward smile. “I get it. I don't want to force you to try and get things out so soon after what happened earlier today. I am sorry that I—”

“Shut up!” she snapped, squeezing her eyes shut as though trying to block me out. “Edgar, just let me talk!”

“Okay, okay…” I muttered, holding up my hands in surrender. “I was just trying to—”

“Please,” she choked out, her voice faltering. “You don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

I blinked, surprised by the seriousness in her voice, and for once, I actually held my tongue. Her gaze drifted to the wall, like she was gathering her strength from anywhere but me, and I could see how much effort it took her to start.

“You've...you've been nice to me. Luna said that you even stood up for me, but you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” she murmured, barely above a whisper. She even seemed to be thinking hard about what words she was choosing. “Even if you think you’ve seen the worst of me or even, if you think you know my past… you don’t know it all. You don’t know what I’ve done.” She took a shaky breath, her voice dropping. “I… I teleported and left you down there with the changelings. Does that sound like something a friend would do?”

"Yeah? You ran to get help cause you couldn't teleport me inside." I said.

"There you go again, trying to excuse me. But that's not all." Trixie said. "That night, the night we met…” Her voice cracked, but she pushed forward, her words now spilling out in a torrent. “I... I tried to… to ra—ra…”

“I know you tried to stab me with a rubber prop knife. I thought we were past that.” I tried, half-joking, only to see her glare turn scorching.

“Edgar! This is hard enough without you interrupting!” She let out a frustrated huff, looking away as if expecting the worst reaction from me. “Trixie… I frotted myself on top of you. I came on top of you, and I almost went even further than that.”

"...What?" I asked.

She remembers?!?

Her gaze dropped, her eyes filled with shame, and her voice softened, barely more than a whisper. “It was the night we met and you were drunk. You… you even told me we shouldn’t, but I still forced myself onto you. Trixie rubbed herself all over your pants…” She cringed, and I could feel the pain in every word. “That morning, I struck you across the muzzle and lied. I made you think you’d wet yourself, but it was I, Trixie…who ‘wet yourself’—and on top of you, too.” She let out a defeated sigh, clearly expecting judgment. "But I want you to know that... I hate that I did that. I want to make things right between us, and if that means not being your special somepony until I can prove I can, then I will. I just... I couldn't keep that bottled up. I don't want to lie to you anymore. I think I really like you..."

Her words caught me off guard. "Trixie, that's not what happened! Sure, I said no at first, but we were both drunk and you were surprisingly convincing.”

"What?!?" "What?!?" "WHAT?!?"

Every pony in the room save except for Shining Armor and Princess Cadance shouted, queuing the melody magic to make it's first appearance in an almost light-hearted background music.

After a few moments, Trixie unfroze.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked.

I could feel the blood draining from my face. “Y-yeah,” I said slowly. “I remember mostly everything that happened… but I thought you didn’t. You had like a whole bottle of wine.”

"SO DID YOU!" Trixie screeched in shock.

"Yea, but I'm bigger than you." I offered her. "How did you remember? I thought you'd be black-out drunk."

Her eyes widened, a faint spark of anger rising through her shame. “You knew?” She shook her head, her voice trembling. “You knew, and you let me walk around with you thinking… thinking I’d gotten away with it? With lying to you?” She struggled to keep her voice steady. “I hit you, Edgar. I slapped you and made you think you were the one who wet the bed.”

I winced, the memory crashing over me. “I didn't know you lied to me,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. “I thought it was completely reasonable for you to throw that punch, given what you knew. You thought I pissed myself under and on you. Completely understandable. If I told you what happened, it’d only make things awkward, so I just… I went along with it. I figured it'd be too awkward in the morning if you knew what happened, but now I know about "my touch". That changes things.”

I really gotta think of a less Molest-y name for that.

Trixie’s mouth worked soundlessly as she stared at me, slack-jawed, her entire expression frozen in dumbfounded shock. It was as if I could practically hear her mind stalling out. I half-expected her to start sparking and smoking like some glitchy machine.

Luna, standing at the edge of the tub, frowned and cleared her throat. “Edgar, I understand that you are new to Equestrian customs, but self-control is still necessary for a mare, even if she’s impaired. Stallions like you respond differently if a mare presses herself upon thee. You would... succumb more easily than a mare might, so it falls on her to exercise restraint. Especially if she does not know whether you are in a herd with another.”

“Didn’t the changeling venom impair me, too, Luna?” I defended Trixie with a raised eyebrow. “Also, didn't we both drink some delicious ‘sambuca cocktail’ you made for us last night.”

Luna tried to ignore the look that Cadance was giving her, and instead pointed at the hoof-shaped mark on her cheek. "Yes... and thou shalt see that everypony in the Royal Family is righteously furious at us for it."

"Furious is an understatement." Cadance shot a look as she leaned in at Luna once more, forcing Luna to lean away from her with a flushed face.

Fuck. Time to deflect away from Luna now.

"It's okay. We made up, Cadance." I said.

Cadance raised a skeptical eyebrow. “...I'm somewhat of a firm supporter of Love, and I'm all for the Magic of Friendship, but seriously?” She tilted her head like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re just... fine with it already? After everything Aunt Luna did?”

“I get why she did it... and I’m the guy with the weird touch-thing going on. It's gotta be more my fault than anypony else's." I added defensively. “I mean, it’s not fine... but it’s fine, you know?”

“No, I don’t think I know.” Cadance shook her head, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity. “Even if Luna or Trixie were ‘influenced,’ so were you…”

“Well, things are… different where I’m from.” I cut in, trying to make this simple. “Back home, it’s actually the guy’s job to stop things before they go too far. He’s supposed to keep his head straight, even if he’s, well… let’s just say not thinking straight.” I scratched the back of my neck. “Guys are usually stronger, so there’s, uh, kind of an unspoken rule. If he messes up, even if it’s ‘consensual,’ he gets the blame. Even if it was an accident or spur-of-the-moment, it’s still his responsibility.”

The words surprised even me—I explained that way faster than I thought I could.

Guess reading all those stories helped me out here.

“I’m kinda thinking of this as me getting off easy. I'm not mad at Luna anymore, and I'm definitely not mad at Trixie.” I tapped the hoof-shaped bruise from Trixie lightly. "So... I guess I’m saying our worlds have reversed views and stuff."

Princess Cadance looked like she wanted to say more, but her husband jumped in. "He looks like he's in a better mood anyway. Let's take the win for now."

Cadance begrudgingly dropped it, but Shining Armor looked almost excited as he turned back to me.

"Ya know, to be honest, if I put myself in your skin, I don't know if I'd be taking all this as well as you are." Shining started. "Cadance and I figured that out pretty quickly after talking with with you that there were some serious cultural differences between us, especially with mares. You really threw us for a loop earlier, especially since you kept beating yourself up over all this!" Shining Armor leaned toward Twilight, wagging his eyebrows. "That'd be like if Twilee ever got transported to your world. She'd have a colt-friend day one, let alone her own harem of stallions fighting over her."

Twilight went beet-red. "...Bonk, Shiny."

"Start dating already!" Shining commanded no differently then if he told her to do chores. "Any stallion would be lucky if they gave you a chance, but you gotta give'm a chance first. Whatever happened with that "Flash" guy, anyway?"

"Babe!" Cadance quickly jumped to her defense. "Leave my sister-in-law alone about that already. I already banned you from harassing her about it."

"She's my sister first, and I swore a sibling oath to harass her every time we visit and she's not in a herd." He looked back to Twilight and grinned. "Besides, the bloodline's gotta go on somehow. The sooner she gets to dating, the sooner I get a nephew to do cool uncle things with, like throwing them as high as I can before catching him."

"She'll get a herd when she's good and ready, so maybe you should stop focusing so much on your sister's love life," Cadance smirked and got a devilish grin. "and start focusing more on putting a foal in me."

Shining paused for a moment with a blush appearing over his face first...then a devious smile.

"...I'm bucking trying, but you won't stop swallowing!" Shining Armor shot back at Cadance as if he had a stroke of genius, matching her fluster with his own.

A loud smack could be herd as Twilight's hooves went to cover her ears.

"~STOOOOoooOOP IT~! We're RIGHT here!!!" Twilight shook here head to drown out the noise with the most furious blush her face can manage. "I wish Horny Jail was a real place. I'd bonk you both and send you there for your estrus week with nothing but puzzles and books for reading."

"You're gonna seclude me and Cady in a room with the most boring stuff imaginable and no royal obligations? You must really want a niece and-or nephew as badly as I want one!" Shining teased.

"Babe, seriously. Enough or I'll cuff you to the bed and paddle you. TO-NIGHT!" Cadance growled, her cheeks reddening in the most sultry shade of red. "And not in the fun way."

"Tonight??? You're bluffing..." Shining said lovingly, leaning against her barrel as she nuzzled back under his chin. His eyes went to her eyes and his smile grew when he saw that look. "You're not gonna let me walk into the conference room with a limp in my gait. You luuuuuv me too much."

Cadance hummed out in contentment and had an almost serene look with her eyes closed, as if enjoying some magic feeling that only she and her husband experience in each other's company. "...The paddling has just turned into pegging."

"~La la la la laaaaaa~!" Twilight's voice went high pitched as her eyes bulged out. "La la la la la laaaaaaaa~!"

Honestly, I'm glad she had the brightest blush in the room, and that she was as distracting as she was. It completely drew the focus away from my own blush.

Cadance and Shining were fucking unstoppable.

Twilight soon cleared her throat many times before she took on a more Twilight-esque analytical tone. However, the blush still remained. "I only had him for a few hours of questions a few days ago, which is not a lot of time. We can't call it "reversed gender roles" because we don't even know for certain what is considered "normal" and "reversed" for Edgar. If roles were truly reversed from ours, it sounds like mares on his world would be bigger pound for pound with notable exceptions, but Edgar just said stallions are often stronger. Isn't that right, Edgar?"

"Uhhh...yea." I confirmed as I started to feel my own blush start to slowly fade.

"So based on what I understand so far, both our stallions have higher testosterone and tend to be bigger on average than mares. Historically for ponies, this was mainly due to..." While Twilight trailed off overanalyzing and I did my best to drone out the reminders of the best couple's banter. I was still recovering from the conversation I’d just been subjected to when Princess Luna cleared her throat softly, her voice pulling me back. Her expression was contemplative, maybe even a little apologetic.

“Sir Edgar?” she began, her gaze briefly flicking to Cadance and Shining Armor. Though they weren't saying anything, the appeared to still be having their own silent, shameless exchange by flirting with their eyes. “We apologize if our niece’s boldness with her husband caught you unprepared. T’is something of a custom for them both to… ah, keep each other’s affections ‘well-polished,’ shall we say?” She gave a faint smile, like she was trying to keep a straight face.

I let out a small laugh, rubbing the back of my neck. “Oh, it’s fine, really,” I assured her, though the blush still crept up again despite myself. “I mean, I’m not used to seeing couples… "polishing" each other like that, but they look wholesome. It’s like they’re still in the honeymoon phase.” I paused, then added with a bit of honesty, “Honestly, Shining Armor’s lucky—he found someone that really cares about him, and she’s… well, she’s clearly been head-over-heels for him too. I’d say they’re both pretty lucky.”

At this, Luna’s brow arched in surprise, and her gaze grew thoughtful again. “Indeed? It is rare for a stallion to be thought of as the ‘fortunate’ one in such a pairing.” She paused as if choosing her words carefully. “While it's important for those with a special somepony to keep their other half happy, often it is a mare who initiates, as she must first catch her stallion's attention. To keep each other engaged in the relationship. T’is considered her duty to win him over and hold his interest, while it is a stallion's to be worth that interest.” Her eyes grew warm with admiration as she looked toward her niece. "But they're different. They told us it was as if they fell in love at first sight. They strove to better themselves for the other's sake."

I raised a brow. “So in Equestria, mares are supposed to do the… the courting?”

Luna nodded. “Both must be desirable, but we believe that stallions have it easier in that regard. A mare's duty is to woo. That is what it means to be a proper partner here, especially when other mares may also wish to win a stallion’s favor,” she explained with a quiet, thoughtful tone. “Thus, it’s often the mare who considers herself fortunate to capture a worthy stallion’s attentions, whether she is their first, or if she joins a herd. Though Cadance, I think, has found a most willing partner who loves her unconditionally—and without thought of any other mare.” She nodded as if this was no small feat. “Even for a Princess, loyalty like Shining Armor's is… enviable.”

It took me a moment to digest this. It sounds par to the course of a typical herd set-up in a story, but it is a bit different hearing them talk about it like this in person. It's a bit harder to wrap my head around even though I heard about a few dozen ideas about it already.

“Wow. That’s… well, different. Not bad,” I added quickly, noticing her curious gaze. “Just different. Where I’m from, a guy sticks to one partner, and is usually the one expected to make the first move, to impress too.”

"You have impressed, if you were wondering." Luna gave a soft hum, a light smile touching her lips as if something had been confirmed for her. She looked at me with a warmth that held a hint of expectation. “But reserving yourself to one mare? I wonder, how might you feel, now that more than one mare may show interest in you? If reversed...It would be quite dreamy fantasy for most mares.”

I blinked, not quite expecting the question, then let out a chuckle, scratching my head. “I don’t know, to be honest. If I wasn't rich when they were doing it, I'd probably think I was about to get scammed,” I joked, shaking my head. “Back home, I’m kind of… average, I guess?" Probably even less than that, considering I'm a theatre kid. “It’d be kind of a shock.”

Luna smiled a little more, her gaze gentle, her words flowing smoothly. “Then mayhaps it is time for thee to see thyself through a different lens, Edgar.” Her voice softened, her tone inviting. “My tastes are not freakish. Many mares may find themselves drawn to thee as I had—To thine courage and kindness.” She looked down for a moment as if gathering her words. “It would be my hope that you may come to realize thy own worth, and perhaps be open to any admiration shown to thee. After all…” Her voice grew softer still, almost musing, “In Equestria, a stallion with such qualities might well find himself… in high demand.”

Her words made my heart pound, and I had to fight to keep my voice steady. “What, you're saying you wouldn't try keeping me for yourself?” I asked, half-joking, though her gentle smile suggested she was only half-teasing.

“A possibility worth exploring, should you wish it,” she replied, that mysterious smile only deepening. "Though, we may be "friends" for a time, and you should still be cherished by mares who see you for who you are."

The blush started creeping back.

"I appreciate you buttering me up like that,” I replied with a chuckle. “But, uh… that might not be the best idea with my ‘touch’—I still need a better name for it.” I scratched the back of my neck, casting her a sheepish smile. “I mean, I’d have never imagined even anyone seeing me like that, let alone you."

"...What of Mrs. Lulamoon?" Luna asked, her tone turning serious. “We saw how strongly she feels for thee. Surely there is some truth to her feelings, and some of the friendship you share? Do you feel for her?”

My mind suddenly flashed to the soaked unicorn that's been sitting in the bath with me this entire time...the one that I've been ignoring this entire time.

Oh, shit. I forgot about her.

I turned back to the previously blue-screened mare to see...steam literally coming from her ears and her nose now like her brain been frying this entire time.

"Trixie?" I tentatively called out. "Trixie, I wasn't trying to ignore you. I'm sorry that I was, but I think we can put the whole misunderstanding behind us."

...

"Are you okay Trixie...? Do you smell burnt toast?" I tried again.

I waited a few moments, before she shook herself out of whatever trance she was in.

"...So Edgar... You're used to gender roles being reversed?" She asked...letting the question linger in the air before she narrowed her eyes?

“Twilight just said that that was an assumption...Trixie?” I muttered, realizing too late what was happening. My gut twisted with an inexplicable sense of dread.

"Edgar...?"

...Oh, no.

!!! ○ □ X X□ ↻ ○△ ↻ △ ↻ △ ↻ B B △ A !!!

The music suddenly shifted, and as it changed, what appeared to be the world's angriest blue ball with hooves dove straight into my chest as Trixie tackled me, plunging us both underwater again. Her hooves found my shoulders as she grabbed me, shaking me violently, her rage pouring out in the form of underwater bubbles

Desperately, I tried to resurface, only to catch a mouthful of lavender bath water. I could barely breathe as she shook me back and forth, her angry, inaudible, water-muffled warbling and echoing in my ears:"Yububllulblb-DiiicKCHHbbhhb!

When we finally broke the surface, I coughed, struggling to catch my breath as Trixie clung to me, eyes blazing.

“Am I okay?!” she shrieked, her hooves locking onto me like a vice. “You lying, blockheaded, self-righteous JERK!” She shook me with every syllable, punctuating each word with another furious shove. "You thought I wouldn’t remember?! You thought you’d cover for me, make it easier on me? You liar!”

Luna jumped to the bath as well in an instant, biting down on Trixie’s mane in an attempt to pull her away. “Unhooph Sir Edgar, you cur!” she commanded, tugging at her hair as she tried pulling Trixie off of me...

But Trixie’s fury was relentless. She held tight, shaking me back and forth like a rag doll. I felt like a bobble-head in her grasp.

"Our whole relationship was built on throne of LIES!” The magician screamed, her words devolving into hysterical rage. “I've been terrified of this conversation! I spent days dreading it. I thought I ruined everything, but you’re just as much of a lying, horny idiot as THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MEEEEEEE!”

Her voice reverberated off the walls, forcing Cadance and Shining's Horn to start glowing...only for them to stop as Cadance started to rush toward the bath.

“Shiny! Gonna need your muscles!” she shouted, diving into the bath to pry the Great and Powerful Trixie off me, with Shining following suit with a splash. Luna abandoned her mane grip and latched onto Trixie’s right leg, attempting to pull her back.

Shining’s face twisted in bewilderment as he gripped his wife’s tail to anchor himself, while Twilight also dove in to help, grabbing Luna. “How is she so strong?!”

“I SURVIVED ON A ROCK FARM FOR MONTHS!” Trixie howled, tightening her hold as she continued to unleash a barrage of insults. “And don’t you dare think you’re getting off easy, Ed-gaaaar! You lied the night we met! You lied the morning after. You lied about what happened with Telsona! You’re a bigger liar than I am! You're the BIGGEST LIAR in Equestria, and you made me LOVE YOU!” Her voice cracked, a tremor in her words. "You're the Biggity-est, Big Big, Biiig, HUMONGOUS, Assholiest..."

You know... despite this morning and what is happening this very moment, I had a strange sense that everything was gonna turn out alright. They might be worried about me, but Trixie was being gentler than it looked with the water sloshing about and over the tub. It was almost kinda fun, and I was actually glad that Trixie wasn't as sad as she was a moment ago. Whether or not this was better than the alternative though...

"I—swear—to—god—it—won't—HappenAgain!" I tried saying through heaves and shoves.

"SWEAR TO ME!" She shouted, taking one hoof off of me and grabbing her wet hat before beating the wet wool against my head repeatedly.

Eh, I'm sure it'll work out...

***Minutes later***

.

I sat on the edge of the nearby couch, the only undestroyed piece of furniture in my room, with a towel wrapped around my waist and a pillow shoved in my hands—one of Twilight’s enthusiastic attempts to “help me relax.”

I didn't need it, but it's the thought that counts.

Celestia was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, she was a few floors down addressing the Royal Guard alongside Princess Blueblood. I’d been assured by Cadance and Shining that Celestia was explaining what happened and why it was…wrong, but the unease still lingered.

Luna, looking unusually disheveled but composed, sat beside me, her wings loosely wrapped around herself as she fixed a challenging look on Trixie from across the room, as if daring her to try anything else. Trixie had been peeled off me earlier, but she still wore the fresh hoof-shaped mark on her swollen right cheek—courtesy of Princess Luna. She glanced over at her hat and cape, which were drying across the room, while her expression softened each time she glanced back at me.

Cadance and Shining were nearby, speaking in low voices, and Twilight hovered in the doorway, keeping a wary eye on Trixie, as if expecting Round Two at any moment.

The peace felt tentative, fragile—held together by unspoken apologies and the sighs that slipped out as we all settled down. Finally, I dared to break the silence.

“So…” I began, trying for a diplomatic tone, “are we good?”

I saw Trixie’s expression darken slightly, her ears flicking back in irritation as she gingerly touched the bruise on her cheek, wincing. She shot a glance at Luna and muttered, “This wasn’t the Great and Powerful Trixie’s finest moment… but yes, we’re "good". Mostly.” She winced again, massaging the bump. “Though… Princess Luna’s punch still throbs.”

“Good,” Luna huffed, a slight smirk playing at her lips as she leaned further into the sofa, her wings stretching out in a lazy, half-satisfied display. “Then perhaps this will remind you not to lay hooves upon my consort again.”

Trixie bristled, her eyes narrowing as her tail flicked in agitation. “Edgar wouldn’t be your consort if you didn’t swoop in and steal him right out from under another mare’s nose,” she countered, meeting Luna’s gaze with a challenging glint. “You knew! You knew I might've loved him, and-"

"Edgar isn't your stallion." Luna’s expression hardened, the playful hint vanishing as she met Trixie’s gaze with an equally challenging look.

"Then why did you get decide he had to be yours?" Trixie retorted, her voice sharp. "I would have helped him, and I would have listened to him."

“To prevent impulsive mares like you from trying to harm him. I overlooked your confession last night as you seemed genuinely remorseful. Perhaps you were, but you've all but confirmed that you are completely controlled by your feelings than your brain. Thou art still too arrogant and foalish. After your display, we no longer believe thou art fit to be a mistress let alone his herd mate,” she retorted, the words slipping out in a low growl.

“And after what you did,” Trixie shot back, her voice low and seething, “...and didn't do, maybe you’re not fit to be anypony's herd mate. He'd still be safer with me than he'd ever be with you!”

"After today, maybe both of you need shut up, since none of you have a moral high ground." Cadance interjected, a hint of annoyance flashing across her face as she stepped in between the two mares glaring daggers and thunderbolts at each other. She pinned both Trixie and Luna with a stern gaze, her voice taking on a firm, authoritative edge. “Even if Aunt Luna technically saved Edgar in a roundabout way, she put him in an bad spot, and none of us like that. If you don't believe me, you can see my opinion right there." Cadance pointed to the hoofmark that was still on Luna's face. "However, we’re supposed to be trying to move past this, not adding fuel to the fire. What you did was wrong too, but you don't hear us scolding you.”

Twilight cleared her throat, her gaze flicking thoughtfully between Trixie and Luna. Her eyes lingered on the bruise on Trixie’s cheek as she sighed, clearly getting tired of the back-and-forth. “Speaking of that opinion of yours, it’s been long enough, I think,” she said, shifting her gaze between Cadance and Luna.

Both Luna and Cadance caught Twilight’s hint and, with a reluctant sigh, let their horn glow softly. Luna's magical glow appeared to be casting a cool, gentle light across the bruise on Trixie’s cheek. The mark began to fade, healing under Luna’s careful magic. Meanwhile, Cadance’s own horn shimmered with a warm glow as she leaned over to tend to the hoof mark she’d left on Luna. The two princesses exchanged a look of shared understanding, though Luna’s gaze was shadowed with something else—perhaps guilt.

When they finished, there was no evidence of any strikes. They both looked almost immaculate, save for Trixie's wet and frazzled hair—wait, Luna's apparently fixing that too.

...Now they appear to be finished.

Luna drew back, casting a reserved glance at Trixie. At first, she didn't say anything as if she was still thinking about how best to approach this, but then she spoke, her voice was soft but steady. “Miss Lulamoon, I... apologize that I was too rough on thee. It is hard for myself to control mine own strength, and...I'm also sorry for the actions I took that led to… this arrangement that Edgar and I now share, and for how you saw it,” she said, gesturing slightly toward me. “While I believed my actions justified at the time, I now see they were inexcusable. I am sorry for the pain and confusion I’ve caused both of you, and I only ask that you understand that this wasn't done to hurt thee.”

Luna’s gaze softened, and her tone grew quieter, her sincerity clear as she added, “I… cannot deny that you care for him. Whether or not I think you need to temper your emotions...you have shown your loyalty toward him even considering his touch, and especially when you stood up to our sister on his behalf.” Luna inclined her head, showing an unexpected gesture of respect. “That was… very brave of you. I think there is something real behind your feelings as well if you can only learn to control them.”

Trixie blinked, surprise flickering across her face as she processed Luna’s words. Her brow furrowed, looking at her back leg for some reason. Maybe she was just avoiding eye contact while if weighing her next response carefully?

After a moment, she huffed, crossing her forelegs and looking away. “You’re still a Bitch.”

Luna’s eyes narrowed and she practically fumed in anger as her wings bristled slightly. “OOOOOoooo, thou art an impossibly—”

Cadance and Shining quickly stepped between them. Cadance shot a warning look at Trixie, while Shining stepped forward, clearing his throat.

“Alright, enough,” Cadance said firmly, giving both mares a look that left no room for argument. “Edgar had already forgiven you both, so quit."

Trixie gave Luna a final indignant look before grumbling and backing down.

Then, turning to me, Cadance added, “That being said...I think you might want to rethink how quickly you forgive mares for this kind of thing.”

I gave her a shrug, a small smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. “Oh come on, it wasn’t so bad—I wasn’t scared of Trixie anything,” I admitted. “Honestly, I thought the situation was funny then.” I chuckled a little, rubbing the back of my neck.

Cadance frowned, fixing me with a look that was equal parts concerned and exasperated. “Right. And this from the Stallion who just went through with the Ablution despite everything that happened.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Edgar, if there was another element of harmony, yours would be forgiveness, but there is a fine line between that and rolling over. You’re going to have to learn to stand up for yourself a little more. She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I get that "roles might be reversed", but you can’t let mares just walk all over you.”

"I'd probably forgive them anyway. Besides, it's kinda hard to stand proud when I'm stuck with my wiener out for the world to see." I trailed off, giving a significant look down at the towel wrapped around my waist.

"Right...the clothes thing." Shining clicked his tongue in sympathy.

Twilight’s magic flared as she floated over a very small stack of clothes, presenting me with my plaid boxers, socks, and shoes...and nothing else.

I glanced around, frowning. “Where are my pants?”

“Oh, um,” Twilight’s ears flattened as she smiled sheepishly. “While you were… out, we kind of had to shear them off with scissors. They’re, um, not in the best shape.”

My smile dropped as the news hit me harder than I expected. “Seriously? They're gone?!?”

"No, You "seriously?"." Shining Armor countered.

Shining and Cadance seemed like a unit. Shining raised a brow looking amused, and while Cadance took the other have of the burden to look annoyed.

“Yeah, after everything else, that’s what you’re still upset about?” The Pink Princess plead.

“It was a nice pair of pants, and my only one. I don't like being naked,” I muttered, rubbing my neck. "What about my shirt?"

Twilight’s ears perked up, and she offered me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry! My friend Rarity has her own Boutique. We had them delivered with a note this morning, and she's actually patching them up. In fact, she's probably finished and is making some replacements and extra outfits for you right now!” she said cheerfully. “You’re welcome to come along with me and pick them up yourself!” She brightened even further, getting more and more excited. “In fact, we could make a day of it! I could give you a tour around Ponyville once we’re done and we can get a bite to eat!" She squee-d like on the show right afterword, trying to be persuasive...I had an ominous feeling this wasn't going to go well.

“Then Trixie will be joining Princess Sparkle and Edgar,” she announced, tossing her towel aside and lifting her head in a mock-regal manner. Before Luna could open her mouth to object, Trixie shot her a daring look. “My wagon is, after all, still in Edgar’s car—and I’ll need his keys to retrieve it.”

I felt a pang of guilt as her words reminded me. “Oh, right… your wagon. Completely forgot about that,” I admitted, scratching the back of my head. “Twilight, you didn’t happen to grab my car keys while… searching my pockets?”

Twilight gave a small, sheepish shrug. “Uh, no… didn’t get the keys or anything else out of your pockets. Sorry.”

"Hmmm!" A glint of satisfaction sparkled in Trixie’s eyes as she looked back at me with a triumphant smile, as though she’d just won some unspoken contest. “Then Trixie must accompany them. If I don't go with him, then I might suspect your Consort of being a thief! What a scandal that would be.” she said, her tone leaving no room for argument. “Besides, it's only fair that he gets to explore Ponyville with mares he knows he can trust~” she took another glance at Princess Luna's direction and...

Oh my god. Where do I even begin to describe her look?

Princess Luna gave a delicate tilt of her head, her lips curving in a slight smile that might’ve passed as polite… if it weren’t for the glint in her eyes, like she’d just caught her opponent showing her hand. It was subtle, almost too subtle, but I could tell: Luna wasn’t just watching Trixie; she was studying her, like a hunter sizing up prey that thought it was clever enough to hide. She was smugging through her teeth to counter Trixie's own smug.

The look wasn’t just annoyance—it was patient, calculating. A faint tension sat in the set of her jaw, as though she were biting back a retort, but those eyes said plenty. I could practically feel her thoughts humming: Thou aren't slick, Bitch.

"That is...perfectly fine. I trust Edgar, and I know you won't lay a hoof on him during your time in Ponyville." Princess Luna said, wearing a total 'mean girls' smile if I ever saw one.

"I can see he's been through more than enough the past two days." Trixie said smugly with a challenging look. "I wouldn't dream of it yet."

"I know you wouldn't." Luna countered smuglyer. "But it is up to what Edgar prefers, no?"

Both mares turned to me, expecting some help in their tug-of-war.

...oh fuk. They want my help.

"No, this feels like a trap." I admitted. Or like foreplay for a cat fight.

Luckily, Twilight came to the rescue, raising an approving eyebrow at her suggestion. “Honestly, a walk might be perfect for us after everything this morning, and Luna's been up for quite a while.” she agreed, glancing my way. “How about it, Edgar? A trip into town, some fresh air, maybe some brunch after we get your pants?”

"...I do need pants." I turned back to Luna, and she gave a reluctant nod after a few moments of thought.

“Very well,” she said softly, letting out a sigh as she glanced over us. “If Twilight deems it suitable… then I trust her. But do try to keep them out of trouble.” Her gaze shifted to Trixie, her lips pressed together with a mix of irritation and acceptance. "I still have some orders to give the Night Mares before we retire to our chambers for the day."

Trixie just grinned at Luna, thoroughly pleased with herself for winning some imaginary battle.

Luna smiled back at Trixie...also thoroughly pleased with herself for winning some imaginary battle.

“I’ll take my leave, then. It’s late enough for me as it is, and I’ll need to be up tonight.” She glanced meaningfully at Cadance, Shining, and Twilight. “Don’t forget about the meeting later.” With a slight dip of her head, she turned toward the door.

She paused, casting me one last, lingering look—an expression of warmth and something… tentative, like she was leaving something unsaid. “Sir Edgar, I’ll be seeing thee anon.” Her voice softened as she added, “Enjoy thy day.” With that, she slipped gracefully from the room, her magic closing the door behind her.

The moment the door clicked shut, Trixie let out a triumphant huff, practically bouncing in place as she shot me a smug grin. “Well then, looks like you’ll have The Great and Powerful Trixie’s exclusive company today,” she said, emphasizing her title with a flourish.

Before I could respond, Twilight stepped forward, giving Trixie a skeptical glance. “Not exclusive, Trixie. I’m coming too,” she said, her tone light but unmistakably firm. “I still need to keep an eye on Edgar and… well, on you, too.” Her eyes softened a bit. “We don’t really know the full extent of Edgar’s ‘touch’ or if it has any limits on how much it can… amplify things. So we should be cautious, alright?”

Trixie let out a playful huff, clearly undeterred. “Oh, please, Princess. Trixie knows exactly how to handle herself.” But the faint glimmer of a grin tugging at her mouth told me she didn’t really mind the arrangement, either. "Though...I suppose we can allow you to join us."

"...Sure." Twilight rolled her eyes, then glanced back at Shining Armor and Cadance. “Besides, I need to pick up Spike from Rarity’s boutique, so it makes sense to come along.” She looked over at her brother with a smile. “He’ll be thrilled to see you guys, too.”

“Oh, it’s been ages!” Shining Armor said, his eyes lighting up. “I can't wait to brag about my new MODULAR Parasprite Golem mini, and—”

But before he could finish, Cadance gently rested a hoof on his shoulder, giving him a small, subtle shake of her head. “Why don’t we let Twilight, Edgar, and Trixie have some time together?” she suggested, her voice warm and full of encouragement. “We’ll see Spike when they’re back at the castle later. For now, we have… a few things we need to discuss here.”

Shining blinked, his ears perking in surprise as he turned to her. “We do?”

“Yes, we do,” Cadance replied with a meaningful look, her eyes twinkling with a hint of something that didn’t exactly need explaining. “It’ll give the three of them a chance to bond, don’t you think?”

"Riiight, we do!" Shining agreed, his expression shifting from confusion to realization. “You know what, you’re right, Cady. We’ll catch up with Spike later.”

Trixie tossed her mane, looking almost smug as she sidled up to me. "Oh, don’t worry, Sparkle. With Trixie around, this outing is guaranteed to be anything but boring."

Twilight let out a good-natured sigh, casting me a knowing smile. "Somehow, I don't doubt that."

Twilight rolled her eyes, clearing her throat loudly enough to interrupt the flirting. “Ahem! Anyway! Shall we?” She trotted forward, gesturing for us to follow, her eager grin suggesting she was more than ready to take on this outing.

As I got up and joined Twilight and Trixie near the door, I couldn’t help but feel the anticipation of the day ahead. With everything that had just gone down, maybe a simple trip for pants with a couple of ponies wasn’t such a bad way to unwind.

But just as I was about to step outside into the halls, something nagged at the back of my mind—an unsettled feeling, like I’d forgotten something important.

“Wait!” I blurted out, stopping dead in my tracks.

Twilight and Trixie both turned to look at me, alarmed. Twilight’s brow furrowed, her eyes filled with concern. “What is it, Edgar? Are you okay?”

Trixie’s ears flicked up, her face tense with worry. “Did you forget something?”

I paused, frowning as I searched for the right words.

“…What the heck am I going to wear on the way to Rarity's?” I asked, looking down very unsecured towel around my waist.

For a moment, there was a silence.

Then, Trixie let out a groan loud enough to echo off the walls, smacking her hoof against her forehead in exasperation.

Author's Note

I am sorry if this chapter seems simultaneously rushed and long-winded. I couldn't find a good stopping point, and wanted to finish up before I had to split this into two smaller chapters. Edgar's been stuck in the castle(let alone the bathroom) with DRAMA long enough. I think he's earned a completely normal day in Ponyville

Posting at 5:30 AM on Sunday, so I might be missing somethings or a word between words every now and then. If you see a mistake that absolutely annoys you, let me know! I'll be re-reading this in the afternoon tomorrow!

Otherwise, let me know how you guys like it, if anything seems confusing(or if there is a glaring issue), or if you have any questions you'd like me to PM you about.

Next chapter : Ａ ＣＯＭＰＬＥＴＥＬＹ ＮＯＲＭＡＬ ＤＡＹ ＩＮ ＰＯＮＹＶＩＬＬＥ！